“I’ll be back in a minute, just going to grab some fresh air…” Robin’s front door clunked shut behind him, and the songs went from loud to muffled as he stepped away and onto the balcony walkway that ran in front of every flat in Hiraeth. Perfect positions to observe the street below, and draped with plants more often than not, like a great hanging garden.

Cepheus breathed in the night air. It was London, so never entirely fresh, but the wix corners of the city were pleasant. He quite liked Hiraeth. It was a community, and there were many people here he knew and socialised with. However, he liked his flat above the florists, just detached enough from his Ministry colleagues and private enough, despite being on the famous thoroughfare of Diagon Alley. As more of an introvert he needed time to recharge away from the extroverts he worked with, and seemed to socialise with. Robin being a new addition to this list.

Stepping out now to take a smoke was one way of punctuating the intense socialisation within the housewarming. Not that it was in any way unpleasant, but it was noisy, boisterous and Lix’s alcohol had definitely gone to his head. The world had fuzzy edges and his joints felt altogether looser than normal.

The door clunked behind him again, with a bar or two of the song accompanying the arrival of another party. Ceph twisted his neck, his elbows leaning on the balcony edge.

“You too?” He asked, somewhat rhetorically, smiling in welcome. He shifted his feet, turning to just lean his left elbow on the balcony and his hip before fishing for his wizard’s smokes. “I’m trying to cut down,” he explained. He’d noticed how much he was smoking when he and Virgil had split, and realised it had become a habit for the two of them to stand on the steps outside his front door to smoke and chat. The company had encouraged it, and often not one but two… Not good for the pocket, even if the enchantments somewhat protected his lungs. Autumn and winter were prone for colds.

Despite it, he extended the pack to Arcturus Hollingbury.

He'd thought he had more tolerance to Elixa's infamous moonshine, but after a few sips he was already feeling the headiness and overall discomfort of excessive warmth. The heat in the flat was just right and he wasn't complaining, but the alcohol had definitely gotten to him to add to it.

Having had espied a balcony he had intended to head out there to cool off and take some fresh air. What he hadn't expected was to see Cepheus rise from his seat and head off even before he'd made any move. Arc looked back at the crowd and the music with a wry smile. Perhaps he wasn't the only one not being buoyed by the fumes of strong drink.

With a polite excuse, Arc got to his feet, running a finger along the inside of his collar. He was warmer than he could stand. Though the thought of Cepheus standing there at the balcony already made him hesitate, it was for the briefest of seconds. Besides, he'd wanted to speak to Ceph.

He really needed that fresh air, too.

Cepheus' dulcet tones were a welcome sound to the noise in the flat. Arc let the door shut behind him. "Needed to breathe a bit," he admitted, "and I don't have that infamous British constitution, I'll be honest."

He looked down at the proffered cigarettes, realisation dawning on his face. If Cepheus had been doing it, he wasn't entirely innocent either. Despite all the things he'd been doing to recover the smoking hadn't ended and he still stole pulls up the top of St Mungo's, among other times. He'd imagined that being healthier and more outgoing would allow him to  wean off of the addiction. It hadn't really worked out.

"If you're offering," he conceded despite the guilt. "Though I'd have to agree that it might be time to stop it. At least your smokes aren't a blow to health." Merlin, he must have been in such a bad spot to have started and on Muggle cigarettes too.

With a blue wisp of smoke curling from the end, he leaned back against the balcony railing, propping himself up on his elbows as he looked into the night sky. "Didn't expect you to be here, Ceph," he murmured, "and as much as I can tell you wouldn't like having it brought up again, seems like you've been so busy as to get yourself a derogatory pen name in the interim."

“… that infamous British constitution, I’ll be honest.”

Cepheus chuckled in agreement.

“You and me both,” he admitted.

“If you’re offering.”
“I am.”
“Though I’d have to agree that it might be time to stop it. AT least your smokes aren’t a blow to health.”

“Punny.” Cepheus grinned, “blow…” He slid one out of the pack for himself and tucked it between his lips before drawing his wand to light for Arc and then himself. He instinctively cupped his hand around the end, their fingers brushing.

“Didn’t expect you to be here, Ceph…” Arc remarked, and Cepheus found himself uttering likewise internally at the observation as Hollingbury continued.

“… seems like you’ve been so busy as to get yourself a derogatory pen name in the interim.”

“Ugh…” Cepheus made a face. “Bruce. She’s not content with allowing us all to get on with the day job without antagonising us too.” He inhaled and held his hand away, over the edge of the building. “I’m surrounded by alpha personalities, Balfour, Vincent Fournier, and Ballentyne. Not to mention the likes of Bagnold and half the Beast Division. If you wanted to bottle testosterone you’d only have to spend five minutes on the floor…” He included Bruce in that, she had a masculine nickname and that was enough to indicate where she felt she fitted.

“Apparently I’m not confrontational enough, so she’s just been trying to get a rise out of me. I wasn’t even trying to get one out of her when she took offence to my recent vampire legislation proposals.” He had been working with vampires in recent months about legalising live feeding at licensed premises to deal with the fact blood donations were not sustainable, and previously illegal feeding was increasingly commonplace and unregulated.

“You get me though,” he assured Arc before inhaling again. “You always have.” He pursed his lips to exhale and let his shoulders droop, feeling glad to get his frustration out of the way. “Badger’s a friendly nickname though, even if they are quite tenacious creatures.” Lix had been all too open at sharing that name. “You two know Robin through work, I guess?” He gestured with a tilt of his head back to the flat.

"Hm." The hum was one rather firm and not in the least approving, though Arc clarified right after what he was humphing about. "Some things need a hard head to break through, and some things need but a gentle touch. Perhaps she's more suited to the former and you're more suited to the latter. Can't have everyone do the same things here and there."

He'd read about the vampire legislations-- alright, given a cursory glance at the news when he had been looking through the Prophet in the morning. Cepheus' work was as distant as the moon was to him; such negotiations were far out of his understanding, only that having to reconcile the conflicts between the two were a relatable struggle.

"I'm only so sparing with my attention to vampire legislations, I'm afraid," he admitted, "but dare I assume that you're on an uphill movement, even if it's a struggle? It seems awfully complicated as someone who can't fathom the  difficulties one has to look out for and ahead of time in case of potential issues. I have my faith that you're good at what you do."

“You get me though. You always have.”

Have I? Guilt lanced through him for the briefest of moments, but he shook it off. "Badger, and I'm a Ravenclaw. Perhaps I should've been in Hufflepuff." Arc took a pull on his cigarette and let the smoke stream into the night. "I met Robin  while doing some work, yes." He refrained from saying anything about the night he met the man[1], uncertain of the results from there yet. "Seems I made an impression on him enough for him to consider inviting Lix and I to his housewarming party, though I have no regrets coming here."

He lapsed into quiet, but one more thought burst out of him before he truly fell silent. "How have you been, Ceph? Outside of work, that is."

1.	Suspicious (15th October)

They were both Ravenclaws, the hat chose well. Both studious, thoughtful souls. Lending each other books, scouring early morning markets and promising not to buy more and just breakfast, but failing. Simple companionship, or at least it had manifested as that at first. Then he’d looked for more and it had all gone wrong and become altogether awkward. Virgil’s persistence had entirely taken his mind off Arcturus Hollingbury, but here he was, remembering months back with fondness.

“Me? Here and there, you know…” Ceph shrugged, avoiding Arc’s immediate gaze and the very direct question. It was reminiscent of their conversations back then. “I’m here because Tia, my cousin, knows Robin and I went to the solidarity event the other week.” The one that had ended with a werewolf calling double standards. Tia was a werewolf too, like Robin, and the community was smaller than Cepheus had truly noticed until late. He loved his cousin but their conversations did not surround being a werewolf, more around their families and being queer.

“I’ve been keeping to myself out of work,” Cepheus explained. “Working my way through the Goldberg Variations, which will keep me out of mischief for months to come.[1]” He glanced back at Arcturus and took a better look at the healer. Cepheus realised belatedly that either the wizard had picked up on things naturally, or someone had probably filled him in on his relationship status.

“I’m back on my own, apart from Claude, obviously. How about you?”

Arcturus and Elixa seemed perfectly cozy, but he knew that the appearance didn’t mean much, as Mordent had always been like an inquisitive sister as well as a housemate.

1.	Given there are 32, by Bach.

"Oh. I was at the rally, too." He hadn't expected to say that, but he did. Of course he remembered Cepheus out on that day alongside Johann, Balfour and... oh yes, Bruce - now he knew why she had seemed so familiar to him despite having never rubbed shoulders with many of the Ministry. "I see." He didn't really know what to add to that, and while he wasn't keen on saying so he wasn't shy on implying it either. He lifted his cigarette to his lips while Cepheus answered his question.

“I’m back on my own... How about you?”

Arc stared up at the sky, not looking at Cepheus as his lips pursed, gripping the cigarette, his back to the city below. How had he been? Cepheus knew he had needed time to recover and find himself again, but Arc had not gone out of his way to keep in contact as he tried to find some semblance of identity once more. Even when he thought he had been healing, things had happened and thoughts still weighed heavy at the fringes of his consciousness like snow on laden branches.

"Not as good as I'd like to be," he finally replied, removing the cigarette from his lips. "But things could be worse, and as it stands it isn't there yet. I'll be damned if I let things slip that far down these days." He pulled himself to stand up, still leaning backwards against the railing before turning his head to look at Cepheus properly since they had started talking..

His gaze took in the wizard and something in him melted at the sight of him standing there.

"Don't worry," he assured, "it's just... I had to attend a funeral earlier this year and it's made me think about some things, is all. I've been working on getting better. Whether I am or not is up in the air, but I feel better and that's good enough for me. I get to go out again, make new friends, do new things... get to see you." He smiled softly.

Then it occurred to him as to why Cepheus mentioned he was 'back on his own'. "Is Claude now reclaiming your company to himself?" he said with a grin.

The confession that Arc wasn’t as good as he’d like to be induced a look of concern on Ceph’s face. All hint of his frustration about his nickname was replaced by his almost trademark caring gaze. But he smiled when the explanation came with optimism rather than pessimism.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Ceph uttered hastily at the mention of a funeral. “Glad to hear you are feeling better,” he added softly, “if not as well as you’d hoped.”

“Is Claude now reclaiming your company to himself?”

“You bet he is.” Ceph laughed, “wouldn’t be a good morning without a cat’s arse in the face, according to him.” He shook his head. Inside the music changed mid-song to something else, the rhythmic thump of bass interrupted.

“Just wish he didn’t lick it right there on my pillow…” The alcohol made laughing about this silly observation all the easier. “I’m sure Rustle’s got better manners.” Virgil would have laughed at this too. That was one thing both of his most recent exes had in common, a love of cats.

“You know,” Ceph heard himself say before he could stop himself, “I miss us.” He studied Arc, hand poised inches away from his own face, cigarette burning down between his pale fingers. “But I’m glad you’re in a better place.”

Shit. He thought inwardly. His first choices were never good ideas. At least Arcturus couldn’t read his thoughts, but now he’d made it all awkward.

“I’m sorry for your loss." Arc smiled graciously. He'd heard it plenty of times from those who had heard, and it was strangely comforting to hear it despite the loss itself. Though hearing it from Cepheus seemed to put his soul at rest tonight, even the little bits that continued to be turbulent just out of sight.

"I regret to inform you Rustle does not know the meaning of 'manners'." Arc smirked at the answer. The headiness from the alcohol hand long dissipated and he didn't feel so held back by caution thanks to the wonders of alcohol. "He'll do whatever he pleases as all felines are wont to do, cat or kneazle."

“You know, I miss us.”

Arc's gaze remained affixed on him for a few before the healer looked down at the floor.

"I do too." He turned his head to look over his shoulder at the city below. "I don't disagree. Not one bit."

After a moment's silence he inhaled deeply, audibly. His gaze remained affixed on the city below them, as if afraid to look at Cepheus in the eye. "Can't deny that I've been thinking more about things I've done in the past few months. I've regretted how things went between us. It wasn't my finest and you never deserved that." He was soft; his voice remorseful.

"But I can't leave things just like that. We're here in this very moment and it would be remiss of me to not try and do right." Arc looked back at him, though his eyes flickered - in uncertainty, in a little fear, in embarrassment, but no less sincere for it. "I wanted to ask - I want to know. Would you give us a second chance?"

He brought his gaze up meet Ceph's. Perhaps it was the alcohol that took away what usually held Arc back from expressing his thoughts. Ceph would be able to see the anxiety in his eyes, the way he held himself as he anticipated his answer. There was no doubt however that Arc meant every word.

Shit, shit… oh!

It caught Ceph by surprise. Beautifully, wonderfully by surprise. He’d convinced himself in a split second that he’d embarrassed the both with his admission, but here was Arcturus confirming he felt the same. He missed them too.

“… regretted how things went between us… you never deserved that…”

“I…” He tried to reply, but the words died on his tongue, feeling rushed and clumsy, or perhaps it was the foot that he’d shoved in there a moment earlier.

“… Would you give us a second chance?”

“I…” He tried again. “I, Arc… if you’re in the right place? I mean, I totally understood you weren’t before, and you don’t need to regret that or say I didn’t deserve it. I respected it.” He’d been hurt by it obviously, but he was too much of a gentleman to hold it against the other wizard.

He’d moved away from resting on the balcony, the end of his cigarette burning up between his fingers in his distraction. He dropped it on realising, and pressed the toe of his shoe on it before sweeping his black hair back.

“But if you are,” and it certainly seemed like he was, “then… yes.” It was a breathy yes, and he’d closed the distance between them, as if worried someone might step out of the door and overhear it all. His fingers had knotted before him, and untangled as he smiled up at Arc, instinctively reaching out to catch a hand.

"I mean, I totally understood you weren’t before, and you don’t need to regret that or say I didn’t deserve it. I respected it.” The words flooded him with indescribable warmth and a little more guilt. His lips curled in a half-smile of contrition. Cepheus really didn't need to say that.

“But if you are, then… yes.”

His chest was tight. Arc blinked, then took a deep breath instinctively before realising he'd held his breath for so long his body immediately intervened and brought him back to the ground. The words hit him then, a second time, and he couldn't help but let out a breathy, awkward laugh.

"Am I in the right place? I'd like to think I am. I think I am." His words came out in a rush; he stumbled over a few of them as he chuckled, suddenly self-conscious. "I've been doing my best and it usually turns out fine. I have days when it's not so fine, and things get a little trying, but..." He raised his gaze to meet Ceph's. The man was so much closer and Arc could feel the pull towards him.

But he had to say it before he could commit. He had to hold himself to it. Awkward self-awareness withered in the presence of resolve.

"...but I'm in the right place to ask at least, and there's nothing that will stop me from doing my best to stay there." He glanced down at the short length of cigarette remnant smouldering between his fingers. For a moment he lingered on it, seeming to give himself time to consider, before resolutely pressing the glowing end against the railing, taking out the last of the burning embers, and letting it fall from his fingers.

He turned his head back to Cepheus and smiled shyly, self-awareness still present enough to coexist with his resolve. It would not dwindle away so quickly! But it was alright to be. As Cepheus extended his hand, Arc's came to meet it and with it that feeling of warmth that took his breath away even as he took another deep breath.

"For you. For the both of us." Arc smiled tenderly at him, looking into his eyes. "I'll do my best."

“I’ll take that,” agreed Ceph, smiling more brightly still. He squeezed the hand in his, closing the distance.

Kissing Arcturus felt like coming home, even if he hadn’t know that home for very long. But this time, it wasn’t short and punctuated, but a proper, lingering kiss, like their first should have been. His free hand had slid round to find the rise of a shoulder blade, pulling them together. Hollingbury smelled good, better than he remembered, and he leaned into the kiss that tasted of moonshine, pavlova and pomegranate.

When lips parted at long last, he stayed close, unable to help smiling. Ceph glanced up to make eye contact, just to be sure that this wasn’t all playing out in his mind in some elaborate hallucination.

“Let’s start again,” he spoke softly, tilting his head to lean in for another kiss. “We’re ready.” He let go of Arc’s hand and brushed the black and white hair out of the way, toes of one shoe now between Arc’s feet. I’m still ready. He thought inwardly.

When they parted a second time he inhaled sharply, catching himself, still holding the other man, both arms around him.

“Come back to mine?”

If he could have his breath taken away like that over and over he would have let Cepheus do it until the end of time. Let it flow. Flow it did, every emotion that calmed the long-time lurking ache in his heart. He wasn't really aware of what his hands were doing, but when they parted his fingers graced the other man's shoulders as if this was normal before the night itself.

The second time he focused, and all it felt was drawing himself into Cepheus' embrace and being a part of him as much as the other man. He made no objection or spoke. Words did not need to be said. His arms came to rest around the other man's waist, holding him close but not desperate. The yearning had faded, replaced by the simple desire to savour the moment.

“Come back to mine?”

Arc inhaled, catching his breath after Cepheus had taken it away twice. "Of course." It was all he could muster whilst trying not to lose himself in this man's curled hair, warmth, physical presence, eyes, everything. "Whenever you're good to go."

There was a trill of excited anticipation in Ceph’s inebriated heart at the response. Gazing into each other’s eyes, smiling in the dark together. This was not at all how he had anticipated the evening would go. Far better, in reality.

“Whenever you’re good to go.”

“Now,” he answered honestly, quietly, and chuckled, rolling his eyes at his sense of duty, and explained: “damn my manners though.”

Cepheus squeezed Arc’s arm again and took a half step back, without letting go. A gentle pull. He nodded in the direction of Robin’s front door where the rhythmic thud of music continued, and muffled voices could be heard.

“Do you think they’ll notice we’re gone, take offence that we haven’t said goodbye?”

And if the universe thought the question was posed at it, rather than the man he’d just kissed, there was a tap at the front window. Elixa Mordent was making a face, one of her exaggerated ‘oh Merlin’ ones with a mischievous grin.

“Sssshit…” Ceph drew it out and laughed properly, blushing quickly. Mordent was waving at them. Shooing them away with both hands at the glass. Ceph only laughed more.

“I think your housemate wants me to take you home too, Badger,” he grinned, reeling Arc in on the arm he still grasped, and kissing him again, smiling into it. “She can make excuses. Shall we?”

He was never going to deride Elixa's moonshine again. Though his head remained somewhat befuddled, his heart knew what it wanted and it had taken lead over his brain in getting what it wanted, and he was not going to regret any of it. Perhaps even if he hadn't been slightly tipsy he would have insisted on doing it but he had had an inkling it would have taken him longer to spit it out. And would have made him more nervous. And less blunt about it.

Yes, he was glad he'd drank.

He opened his mouth to answer Ceph's question, but once again Lix saved the day by way of her nosiness. Arc looked at her and laughed. She'd know by the smiles on their faces how that turned out, if she hadn't already been watching. As she made the shooing gesture he raised a hand at her in half-amused salute and a wink, a non-verbal thanks for her support and her brew. Then he was pulled into another kiss, one he gladly shared right in front of her. She deserved to watch; it was the least he could give back at this moment.

"Lead the way. I do know where your flat is, but not from here." Arc laughed again. "Let's head off, shall we?"