The Hogwarts Howler, the student newspaper, is distributed whenever they feel like it via the bathrooms and commonrooms. It has an editor-in-chief but is not, chiefly, edited at all.

Best and Worst Things About Magical Measles

BEST + Front row seats to the Headmaster's lectures - Eirene Antonopoulos, R4 + Not certain, ask me in a few weeks - Sulwen Ried, S1 + NO STORM - Wesley Wold, H1 + More room in class - Greer Grant, G3 + Stacks of Quidditch magazines - Frank Sellaphix, R3 + Sending Professor Storm buckets of glittery get well cards - Zeta Pepper, H6

WORST - Other students - Eirene Antonopoulos, R4 - Squib conspiracies. Think before speaking, thank you! - Sulwen Reid, S1 - Everything hurts and I'm dying - Frank Sellaphix, R3 - Fewer people, professors notice you more - Greer Grant, G3 - What am I supposed to do without Acco!? Get up!? - Phil Penn, G7 - New Healer gives us the morbs - Katie O'Hollow, R7

Editor's Note: Don't leave these lugs lousing - send your baked goods and well-wishes and exam answers to the Infirmary![1]

1.	Contributed by Niobe and Elle

Classifieds
Among the requests for class notes, personals, missing toad notices, and adverts for jokes products is this novel note:

If you need anyone to talk to, or need anything from advice to listening, come to the room of requirement. Enter either one of the doors and I’ll be there to listen. Open after dinner for 3 hours on weekdays and 3 hours after lunch on weekends. Anonymity guaranteed[2].

2.	Rigel Acrux, of course!

Lethal Accessories
Push fashion and the school dress code to the limit with a few deadly statement pieces.[3]

Cat Fangs by Malcious.X

Medusa Signet by Village Silversmith

Vintage chatelaines

3.	Contributed by Niobe

Mordent's Maladies #1[4]

4.	Contributed by Kit

The Sweet of the Month: Pocky

Otherwise known as Mikado in the UK and to the uncultured. This is the best snack of the month. After the excitement of Halloween and then after the indulgence of Christmas. What is really useful now is something small and not too sugary to relax. Many may still be living off the chocolates gained over Christmas, some may still be snacking from Halloween. What better way to relax however then with a snack that is both sweet and savory?

Pocky is essentially like a breadstick, but thinner with chocolate on the end (Other versions are available but here you only really get chocolate.) Why is it the perfect one to relax with? Because it doesn't over indulge in more sugar after the long festivities, the amount of chocolates and sugar ingested from advent calendars, chocolate coins, boxes of different chocolates, the value tubs and so on.

As it is mostly stick it goes more into the role of savory with a bit of sweetness, and since it comes in a pack means you can snack on it all day long if you are patient and well trained.Personally I love Pocky, it is great and I feel like many others will love it to.

~Editors note: Several pages on the history and more reviews of it have been removed so the article doesn't go over 10 pages.

Article by: Akira Hericho, Ravenclaw

We're With You - SAWS Returns to Hogwarts
This week Hufflepuff Sixth Year Zeta Pepper aka the Pepper-in-Charge revived SAWS, Students Against Werewolf Segregation. She wants to set the record straight and quash any rumors specifically that the club is, "a hilarious collision between soft-minded do-goodery and a rotten tomato fight."

"It all started when society wanted to separate werewolf students from everyone else. There's been loads of positive change since then, but there's still more we can do to make sure werewolves are safe and welcome at Hogwarts. For anyone who says that we're not organized, just wait. Nothing worth doing ever started out perfectly. Going forward we're hoping to raise awareness of werewolf issues, change Hogwarts for the better, and even reach out into the community. If you love justice and all that, join us at our next meeting. Ayla Collins will provide baked goods."

Completely Uncorroborated
Nothing fit to print.[5]

1. Rigel Acrux got bit by a vampire at Christmas
2. Ayla Collins makes "special" brownies
3. Noriko Wakahisa beat Professor Storm in a duel
4. Frank Sellaphix is sweet on Eirene Antonopoulos
5. Magical Measles is really a Muggle Studies experiment orchestrated by Professor Honeysuckle.
6. Akira Hericho has never eaten a vegetable

5.	Contributed by a lot of us!