7th April 2018


Is everyone else in the country as shattered by a recent Daily Prophet article as we are here at Witch Weekly? Wasn’t it only 5 or 6 weeks ago that the Daily Prophet attempted to paint your own Queen G as a broken hearted liar[1] for merely sharing our Minister’s familial deceit with you all?[2] Personally, I wanted you all to know that our esteemed leader isn’t as squeaky clean as he clearly would like us all to believe. Was my letter a wakeup call for Mrs Carstairs who’d been living with her head buried in the sand?

After some diligent investigation, my team managed to track down a witch that claims to have been one of the extramarital affairs of Minister Carstairs. Naturally, I sat down with her for a chinwag and a cup of good old English breakfast tea. “His wife has clearly found out, hasn’t she? She must have been walking around with her eyes closed because that man flirts with anyone in a skirt. Or was it just that she wasn’t giving him what he needed?”

Whatever reasons they have to part ways, we wish Mr and Mrs Carstairs an amicable divorce. This Queen knows just how jarring on the soul one filled with acrimony can be.

PS. Irene, should you feel a need to bare your soul and dish the dirt on our Minister, I’ll be waiting with a bottle of Merlot.

1.	Clipping from the Daily Prophet in February
2.	A Letter to Minister Carstairs from Queen G