Small Hours of Sunday morning, 8th January 2012
Wizarding Wireless Network studios, Diagon Alley, London


“You may have noticed my conspicuous absence this week, listeners…” Cass Motley began, “and it is a tale of mistaken identity, incrimination and a night in a Ministry cell - one star review by the way, would not recommend it as a city-break hotel.” Her fingers neatly dropped the needle onto a record. “But all of that soon, but first, here’s The Bawling Bards and their breakthrough single A Bludger to the Head.

It was late Saturday night, or rather, early Sunday morning and Cass had returned to the airwaves to greet her loyal weekend listeners. She sat back and shuffled through some of the records on the cluttered radio desk in the low glow of the studio lights. Being back felt good, even if she had only missed one show. This world was important to her, and the slight of Auror Roh to keep her incarcerated for a whole night, forcing her to miss presenting, was not taken lightly.

“… Auror Woe, as we are calling her,” Cass explained to her listeners three tracks later, indulging her story across the whole of her airtime between segments, “declined to question me promptly, but left me off air all night in that godsforsaken cell. So you were without me! And all for her own pleasure and power trip. She’s obviously got hideous taste in music. So here’s a classic, just for you Auror Woe, it’s Hawkshead Attacking Formation and Burn All Bridges, title track to their best-selling album.”

Cass wouldn’t want her listeners to send hate mail to the poor Auror with a very similar sounding name, would she? Not after she had endured duplicating garlic, wooden stakes and such in the past? What would people send an auror as hate mail? Bloodstained crimson robes? Letters cut out of the Daily Prophet to form words? It would be wrong of her to suggest.

“… and if you are ever in a shtick, it’s Crowe and Associates who will be on your side. 19 Knockturn Alley, office 3B, ask for Talisha Crowe and say Cass Motley recommended. She’ll see you right. Now here’s Mildred and the Mandrakes with As the Crow Flies.”

And no show would now be complete without one of VRZNight's songs as her fellow brethren.

“Don’t think you’ve gone a bit far?” Her producer asked as she went off air.
“That sounds like I’ve done enough for now,” Cass agreed, flashing her teeth, “but we’ve only just begun.”