April 1^st 2012

LONDON - Aurors were summoned to platform 7½ at Kings Cross early yesterday morning[1] amid reports that a vampire aboard the north European sleeper train was attacking other passengers.

“I thought it were a normal bat caught in the carriage,” said apothecary Tess Calvert who was holidaying with her husband Hal Myers-Lipke, “and then when Hal and I tried to shoo it out, he realised it wasn’t a normal bat.”[2]

It was no early April Fool as the couple were faced with a deadly vampire, who transformed and attacked. Myers-Lipke wrestled the toothy invader into the corridor where other passengers and train staff intervened.

“It was lucky I’d bought all that gorgeous French garlic,” said Ministry secretary, Agatha Crone, 78, who was the surprise heroine of the hour, who chased the vampire off with her purchase. “In my best nightie and rollers too,” she added.

What became of the vampire, once ejected through the carriage window into the night, in bat form, is unclear. “Fare dodgers are unwelcome on our trains,” a spokeswix for the Sirius Sleeper service, “but our usual protocol is to disembark them at recognised stations. The Sirius Company apologise for the inconvenience to passengers and wish them a pleasant night’s sleep on a service soon.”

The Being Division of the Ministry of Magic has reported a concerning increase of reports of attacks on and by vampires in the last seventeen lunar cycles. Information pamphlets such as I think my neighbour’s a vampire, Cooking with garlic and A Guide to Sanctioned Blood Sucking are available at no charge, from the Division, if Prophet readers write in to the address below.

1.	31st March 2012, Saturday Morning Stake-Out
2.	Hal, as a werewolf, with acute sense of smell, recognised the smell with a vampire bat up in his face.