She sighed in relief, when she recognized the door in front of her. The name carved on the metal plaque clearing any doubt she could still have; the map worked, she haven’t followed any wrong path and now all she had to do is… knock. Una raised her wrist. Hey, Colin! I was just passing by and decided to say hi, it’s been a long time… speaking of time, tomorrow is Cancer New Moon… how’ve been your Moon issues? No… it would be so lame.  Hi, Colin! Remember you said you would want to try out if I find the cure for Lycanthropy? So… I didn’t. But… no. Why it should be so hard? Some time ago, he just entered on the lab and asked her to do woman-scented perfume[1]. How unusual was that?

Well, Una knew that could be a little more personal… invasive? Certainly annoying. Enter on his lab to fill him with questions as an unrequired anamnesis, her not being a Healer, him not being a patient, but Lycanthropy being… a disease. One she was interested about. And it happened that Colin was the only Werewolf she could knock on the door and ask help to understand everything possible about that from a living proof. Books and old documents wouldn’t make much more - she had already read them until exhaustion. The theory was almost done. She needed to find out now what was viable and what was useless. What was safe and what was risky. What was… ok, she needed to find out a lot of things that books couldn’t answer.

Finally she closed her eyes and knocked. Oh… what if he had already gone home? Silly Una… she would have to go there tomorrow, but maybe tomorrow her courage would have already gone home too. She twitched her lips with the thought, but a click made her open her eyes and she looked surprised for a second, before open a wide smile. “Hi, Colin! I was… passing… and I… ” she was awkwardly gesturing when she noticed she didn’t need all this. Raising an eyebrow, Una hid her arms behind her back and went direct to the point: “May I talk to you for a second? I need your help in a little… something…”

1.

thread

It was a tricky business, attaching a neck and head. Easy to separate, of course; that just took a good charm or a nice sharp axe. But still -  it was times like these that he needed an assistant. Someone to hold things firmly in place while he mended the seams or installed the tube or while he picked up a saw. Oh, and someone with a really strong stomach.

The knock nearly made him drop the head in question, which would have been a shame, since an intact and well-preserved head was rare. He sighed and carefully set everything down, covering the slab. Not many people knew what he was up to, though he'd gotten the project approved. He'd like it to stay that way. It wasn't exactly...kosher. Not that anything he did seemed to be, but still...besides, if it did succeed, he'd have the assistant he wanted.

Peeling off his gloves, he opened the door with his shoulder, leather apron still on - and started speaking before he even got to the handle. "If you're here for your bottle of Shrink's Super Solidification, Barnard-" he started, then got cut off as Una piped up. He blinked in surprise, his annoyance at being interrupted vanishing as she spoke. He cocked his head to the side, a slight smile finding his features.

"Yeah, um, sure," he said, nudging the door open so she could enter. "Something wrong?"

“Thank you, Colin. And no, nothing is wrong, no.” She smiled with real gratitude, sliding silently into his lab with her hands still behind her back; her eyes eventually trailing one detail or another, but not bothering in catch the full picture. First of all, she was already being invasive enough for the things she was about to ask, sneaking around his business would be too much. And then, the smell coming from the slab was surely uninviting. She was used to feel that kind of smell on the operations of putrefactio, but plants and alchemical substances definitely didn’t smell that strong. “This smell doesn’t bother you? You know…” she pointed to her own nose, instead of mentioning his little special powers when it comes to sense smells.

“Ah, anyway… I need to ask you… about something… ” she shook her head and stuttered uncertain, taking a quick look at the hall to make sure that there’s no one around. Then, without asking, she closed the door behind her and walked a few steps towards him, taking care to not touch anything that could compromise his work. “I’m sorry, Colin, but you’re the only one who can help me, so… sorry, I don’t know if my questions will bother you.” With the door closed she was a little more certain of her words, but her voice was still low and shy.

“I want to understand a few things about Lycanthropy. I had read a lot of books about it. A lot, truly, but… I don’t know if someone ever really asked something to a Lycan, you know? At least not about what you really feel, how your body really reacts… under the presence of the Moon.” Una smiled gently, glancing quickly at Colin’s collection of brain jars. “I’ve been thinking about this lately… how this condition really is; and how something that is always there, affects you only when it’s fully illuminated. And obviously, if there’s something to avoid it.” Not that she didn't understand the magic related to the Full Moon, but there was something about it that bothered her. Still Una’s smile was more assured now; it would be great if her thoughts could lead her to that something. And Colin’s help, if he were willing to, would be a good way to begin.

"What smell?" He asked, as he backed off to let her in. It was halfway a joke; the smell of decay had been around him for years, and he still wasn't used to it. There was a reason he kept a small bottle of pine scent around - it wouldn't always help, but a smear of it under his nose solved the issue, most days. Well, a smear and a mask. In this case, though, he'd just gotten so used to it he could only smell it when he'd left the room for awhile.

He crossed his arms, eyebrow raising, as she darted around a looked nervous. He couldn't help but be a bit bemused - although he was worried, Una being nervous, at least in this manner, was somehow inherently amusing to watch.

Mind you, after what he'd been watching all day just about anything was funny. But Colin wasn't hard to please; he'd laughed for a good 15 minutes last time a kidney ricochet'd and hit him in the face. It was easy to find things funny when your only company for days was the ghost of an aged accountant. Johann was helping with that, though. Johann trying to run the wash was comedy gold.

"Alright..." he said, carefully, mostly to say something as she stuttered. "Takes a lot to bother me, Una," he added, deadpan, though he was pretty sure she knew that by now. Now he was actually worried, but so long as she wasn't about to whip out a measuring tape and ask him to drop his trousers, he was pretty sure he could handle it.

"You want to know how it feels to be a Werewolf?" he asked, worry turning into unshielded bewilderment. "Well - alright, I suppose I can do that," he said, sitting on the top of his desk, for lack on anywhere else to lean in his immediate vacinity. "What do you want to know, then? The books have probably got most of the basics right..."

“The smell of...” she muttered, ready to answer. But then the joke became clearer – she wasn’t supposed to answer at all, right? Still, more out of stubborn, she finished the sentence with just an almost unintelligible humming, “…nigredo.” It wasn’t that she was bothered by that either, sulphur and some acids and potions were far worse than a dead body.

"Alright... Takes a lot to bother me, Una."

She could tell that, and still constantly fear to be a pain to him – especially with that request, not usual and, well, personal. But Colin seemed to be… confused. Sometimes she could feel he was about to laugh at her, but sometimes he looked a bit worried as well. Maybe Una was just misunderstanding his signals. He wasn’t easy anyway, by any means.

Without having where to sit or lean and without wanting to dare searching for a place to do that in his lab without his permission, she just crossed her arms and stood exactly where she was, eyes thoughtfully down most of the time. “Yes, I have read some books and documents… they have a good library here at the Ministry. Even legends and… Muggle’s considerations I’ve read…” she smiled, almost giggled spontaneously this time; though she haven’t read about much delicate methods on those books, it was still funny how close and yet how distant they were from the truth. “Some of the most… serious Muggles who were willing to understand something about magic… or whatever… wrote that Werewolves were beasts created by our own rage and projected in the world while we’re sleeping, because that's when we lose control of our minds, and when the Moon is full she can dominate it completely.” She shrugged. That was an interesting thought, but…

“Anyway, I want to know precisely how you feel when the Full Moon approaches. How is it exactly? How do you lose control of yourself, of your body, to let the transformation happens? Does it hurt? Or is it like a call or something… something you definitely can’t avoid? Like a giant need of let it happens? As if you were starving and someone puts a lot of food right in front of you.” Una was obviously less nervous and more natural, gushing every question by her own terms without thinking if it was clear (or maybe ridiculous) to him. “Ah… and what you feel about the Moon in another phases, when looking at it or walking on an open field at night? Is it weird? There’s some kind of reaction on your body or your mind? Or is it just normal?”

He sat and watched her as she listed off her questions, his eyebrow rising towards his hairline the more she spoke. His only question, originally not a major one but growing in urgency with every question she posed, was why? She'd never shown this level of interest in his condition before, so why now...?

Colin shrugged. "Well," he started, then tilted his head slightly. "Before MacDuff chan-chowed down on me," he corrected himself swiftly, "It was painful. Very painful - like having your body and mind consumed by something else. I always got testy in the days before - angry, you know? It was like...any small setback enraged me, and the day before it was really bad." He rubbed his left forearm as he spoke, eyes on the middle distance. It was odd, thinking of MacDuff as having done him a favor...

"The actual transformation was always terrible. It's...hard to describe, really. Imagine every joint in your body moving around, having your skull change shape...and you're conscious the whole time. But at the same time, you get overcome by this kind of red haze, and the pain makes you angry and after that..." He shrugged, tossing his hands up a bit. "You'd go blank and wake up the next day. And ache, or be covered in chicken feathers."

He rubbed his chin, sitting silently for a few moments. "It's not a need, exactly. It was kind of more like...you and the werewolf are seperate, and as the moon approaches that part of you suddenly wants to be in control, and you can't resist...it's not pleasant, really. No matter what you do, he'd win and shut you up for awhile."

Colin snorted, his slightly moreose tone switching suddenly to his usual snappy banter. "Used to be like that, anyway. Now it's...I don't want to say pleasant? But it feels natural. It's more like a call, I suppose - the wolf and I are the same thing, now. I'm still - the wolf instincts aren't naturally nice ones, so I'm still snappish. But it's me. I can choose who to bite and where I go. It's more in sync, I guess."

As for the moon..."It's not normal, the moon I mean. It's kind of got a draw to it. But I'm not sure if that's normal or not - I never paid much attention to it before, honestly. But it's got a kind of power to it, I guess. It's fascinating, and I'm never quite sure why."

She listened attentively to his words, eyebrows creased the whole time and lips twitching often. It wasn’t comfortable to imagine what he described on the transformation, especially for her rich imagination. But when he spoke about the dynamics between him and the wolf her eyes lit up a little, though she remained quiet until the end. That was a highly important thing for her, almost the confirmation to some of her ideas.

“Hmm… that’s all interesting, Colin.” Una smiled, grateful, but still not ready to say ‘thank you’ and finish the conversation. She felt a little like a liar right now - that would obviously last more than a second.

“But, tell me, now that you feel like you and the wolf are the same thing, it never came to your mind that maybe you can control him instead of being controlled? Like a wizard with the ability to transform himself into an animal, couldn’t you be a wolf capable of transform yourself into a wizard?” She asked naturally, before shrug slightly “I mean, I know they’re different things, but if you remain conscious you can control your will, no?”

Una held her chin with her left hand for a little while. “You know, I’ve been thinking about it all lately and some things you said confirmed some of my thoughts. I don’t know if they are too metaphysical thoughts, but I think you may follow them well. Moon controls Water and everything related to this element. The seas, the creatures that inhabit it, the humidity of the soil and the plants, the fluids of our body… dreams and illusions, delusions, madness… ah… the Mind. Our brain is water; you may obviously have noticed it. But the Moon is a moody lady. Not easy to deal, not at all.” At this point she shook her head and looked up at him, smiling. “She controls us in a lot of ways we can’t always notice… but the way she controls the wolves is special. It’s like a call, you have to howl to her, you have to reach her in some way, but she’s more like a black widow than a lover. Because Silver and Moon are the same; so the same thing that causes you to react and transform can kill you. All this… it isn’t normal, it’s like a disease. It is a disease. Of course it is…”

“Anyway…” Una shook her head more expressively now, as if she had just said a lot of nonsense he should forget. “Ah… Silver. I don’t know if you ever got in contact with it after you’ve got bitten, you surely must have avoided it, but… Have you?” That was a very well formulated question, but no. She giggled at herself, blushing slightly. “What I wanted to know is about the relations between Moon and Silver for you. How do you feel about Silver, how does it hurt you, if it’s… ah… how is it like.”

Colin tilted his head sideways as he thought, lips pressed together into a thin line - his eyes locked on the tiny window set far, far above them. It was the only source of natural light, though the light that came through was yellowed and faded by the ancient glass. He'd often wondered exactly where that window was, physically...it did show the moon on certain nights, though.

"Not really," he admitted. "It's - I could try, I suppose. But it's not so much a matter of choice, you know? It's...it just happens. Originally it was just..it felt like the decision was being made for me. Now it's - there's no decision, it just happens." He waved his hands vaguely. "Sorry. It's hard to describe." Especially since he'd never really paid attention to it in this level of detail, really.

He fell silent as she explained, his head remaining at its tilt. He did follow, for the most part - the study of alchemy and its elements did factor into his work - but that niggling question of why still stayed.

"It burns and blisters, mostly," he said, restraining the urge to rub his ankle; the marks where MacDuff's chain his been had taken some time to fade. "It's like...touching something coated in acid. Light touches hurt but you can cope. If I gripped it, it burns and the skin gets - it kind of boils. And it hurts. As a wolf it's amplified. Like sticking your hand against something made of sulphuric acid."

She was almost unconsciously driven to look above where the window was. Nothing really meaningful to her, as she never went to his lab at night, she just supposed that the light could be magical instead of natural, just like many of the windows at the Ministry. When Colin finally answered, her head turned back to him.

"That's ok. I imagine it's more like a body and mind altered state. As I said, a disease, something that takes over without giving a chance for us to control." Una twitched her lips and looked over again at the window. The following was another thoughtful murmur, "It bothers me a little, Colin. We can control so many things on nature but the diseases still have free reign over us. I understand we can’t just… make all of them stop. Somehow they’re the results of our own excesses. But it’s a shame when something like this happens to innocent people. You don’t cause lycanthropy to yourself, and yet have to live with it your whole life, and it’s not just the issues caused by the wolf, it’s also the prejudice that follows."

The witch sighed and walked closer, not looking directly at him though. “No one ever searched for the cure. There are ways to kill werewolves, treatments that… end up killing anyway and, the better option, palliative treatments. Wolfsbane, imprisonment by the time of the Full Moon. We’ve founded ways for you to leave us in peace and them we’ve stopped thinking. Who doesn’t follow this is punished like a criminal and that’s all.” She shrugged and smiled, not a happy smile, more like a c’est la vie smile.

“Light touches of Silver aren’t so bad, you said.” Her murmur got different now, lower, and secretive. “There are some elements that come from Silver but aren’t exactly Silver. Some should be real weapons against wolves… Lunar Caustic, Fulminating Silver… but there’s a very mild thing and… it’s much too noble, you know? So noble only a few knows about. It was part of the process to create Gold some centuries ago. Ah…” Una raised her left hand, as if she was trying to find the words. Actually, she was trying to find the right few words to explain, without rambling or letting to much escape from her mouth. “I think it can act like a venom. The right dose of venom. The… antibodies creator kind of dose…” She whispered the last sentence too quickly, unsure about the words she used and the whole idea as well.