"Lis'n, if you don' come ou' I'm comin' in after you."

"Oh, no you're not," Rémy informed his pursuer bluntly, "Not with shoulders that broad and a beer gut that's threatening to outdo the bloated orb of a building the Muggles call City Hall."

Stubbly, with whom Rem was starting to think he was making good friends since they kept running into one another so often, glanced down at his ample frontside and then looked back up at the gap which he had been threatening to enter. The trainee had squeezed himself into a tiny space between two buildings, hardly more than two or three feet wide. As he stood inside the cramped space he could see the realization dawn on his much larger foe that no, he probably wouldn't be able to move around in such a tight squeeze, much less catch a much younger, much more agile target. He could have run, but there were two of them who had caught him sneaking around, so he couldn't really leave until he....dealt with that issue. They were going to have to conveniently forget he'd been there.

It had probably been a bit of a mistake, using his usual disguise after he'd caught their attention the last time he'd been in Knockturn Alley, but he'd overlooked that detail in his desire to find out what kind of deliveries the shopkeeper kept getting, and why most of the crates that went in back never came out into the front to be sold. So he'd decided to break in, but halfway through picking the lock a couple of the shopkeeper's thugs had come down the alley and recognized "the bloke who'd been sitting out front watching the store the other week." As far as they were concerned, he was probably just a petty thief, nobody from the Ministry, and while that was great and all...well, if he didn't do something about their seeing him, he'd be stamped as an unwanted and they'd be on the lookout for him from then on. He wouldn't have much luck snooping around then, now would he?

While Stubbly grumbled and scowled at the head of the crevice, Rem offered helpfully, "Why don't you just fetch me out with magic?"

Stubbly's scowl spread wider on his face than Rem would have thought possible. He had a sneaking suspicion he'd asked a bad question. And then he had another sneaking suspicion, based on the fact that Stubbly seemed to be a lot more inclined to use his fists than a wand.

"Are you a squib?"

Stubbly turned red. "None o' yer business!" he roared, and then yelled to one of his companions, "Oy, Lewis, get over a' the other end o' that gap and get 'im ou' o' there!"

There was a sharp pop from somewhere beyond Stubbly, and then another sharp pop from the other end of the gap. Rem took one look at the tall, lanky wizard and recognized immediately the man wouldn't have any trouble squeezing into the small space. And with Stubbly looming at the other end, there wouldn't be any way out.

No way but up, he realized quickly. He made the decision in a split second, dropping the enormous, grubby coat he'd been wearing as part of his disguise. He put his back to the dirty wall, his feet to the one opposite, and with quick dexterity scuttled up the gap even while Lanky was sliding toward him. It was something he had done as a child in the narrow hallways of his home, just to prove he could do it.

When his knees were practically touching the eaves of the building opposite, the two rooftops quite close together with only a very narrow space separating them, he shifted, planted one foot on either wall, and with a bit of maneuvering managed to poke his head up through the gap. His shoulders were another problem. It took a lot of squeezing and grunting to get his chest up, and a loud, wrenching sound told him he'd most certainly pried the gutter free.

He felt something lock around his ankle. A quick glance down showed him Lanky had caught up, and was attempting to yank him back. Quite unwilling to be inconvenienced, Rem offered him a swift boot to the face, and while the man reeled back clutching his bleeding nose, the trainee pulled himself up and made his escape over the rooftop.

Clunk.

Halfway up the triangular arch of the shop's rooftop, a harsh screech, nothing that sounded human, caught his attention, and he spun around in time to be thrown off balance by a flailing ball of sandy feathers. It was one of the vultures that usually hovered around outside the shop. He managed to duck in time to avoid the huge, beating wings and sharp beak, but one of the bird's sharp talons grazed him, slicing a searing line of fire across the left side of his jaw. He expected he was bleeding, but didn't have time to check. Rem spun around and fired off a stunning spell; the vulture tumbled to the rooftop, croaking and beating its wings feebly.

A pop warned him that Lanky had apparated onto the roof; he pivoted to face his opponent just in time to catch an unfortunately well-aimed jinx full-on, one that completely shot his sense of balance. He stumbled, tripped, rolled off the rooftop (which was luckily not very high), and landed on his back with a painful thud that knocked the breath out of him.

Disoriented, he lay on the ground for several seconds, one hand pressed to his temples as he tried to recover his sense of...well, everything. With the other he felt about for his wand, but just as his fingers folded over the smooth, familiar wood, a size thirteen leather shoe settled on his wrist, pinning his left arm to the cobblestones.

The blur above him abruptly resolved itself into Stubbly's looming form, his broad face like a billboard advertising his anger. Rem blinked, trying vainly to recover his ability to reason, but found himself too out of sorts to form more than roughly coherent thoughts, much less a new plan of action.

Summoning his best lower London accent to throw them off and at least maintain part of his disguise, he greeted lamely, " 'Ello, guv'na?"

Some things were, by their very nature, a bad idea.

Venturing alone into Knockturn Alley was certainly one.  Aside from the neighborhood's unfortunate pun of a name -- Raizel, for all her familiarity with the English language, could never quite be sure if British wizardry had chosen the nomenclature intentionally or not -- it was well known for its shadowy reputation and rumored dangers.  Witches and wizards occasionally went missing there; anyone out of the ordinary who was not wearing a hooded cloak (and thus existing within the realm of Knockturn's ordinary by concealing their identity) was viewed with extreme suspicion, either a rat or Ministry or some poor thrill seeker gone slumming, all of whom would likely soon be in over their heads.

Of everywhere that she had travelled in London, Knockturn was still where Raizel Cohen felt the most at home.  For all of its reputation, the alleyway was not nearly as frightening as some of the places that she had traveled, but it held a foreboding allure.  As tame as it sometimes appeared, there was always the sensation that perils might be lurking just around the corner, the portentous glint that dangers awaited sight unseen.

Today's visit should have been relatively uneventful -- stopping off to gather a few more items before her scheduled meeting with Adon Eleor and his mysterious, non-magical friend -- but even in Knockturn Alley, large objects falling from rooftops were not a normal occurrence.  Raizel stopped short, her forehead creasing as she squinted down the alleyway in the direction of the clamor.  Whatever was happening was obviously none of her business, but that had never stopped her from investigating something that was potentially interesting before.

She set off with purpose, moving briskly and quietly, and stopped a few yards back from, surveying the scene with a cool gaze.  The falling object had obviously been a body, which now lay winded on the cobblestone street.  Even from a distance, the one on the ground looked young.  Judging by the look of things, he was also outnumbered: the large wizard who had pinned his arm to the ground with a boot was certainly no friend, nor was the tall, thin figure peering down from the rooftop who had likely caused the tumble.

That decided things quickly.  She liked underdogs.

Raizel drew her wand, stepping forward with purpose as she murmured a spell in Hebrew under her breath.  Most of the streets in London were paved and too clean; so unlike the dusty roads in most of the rest of the world that she was left with little to work with, outside of dirty alleys and flower boxes.  But Knockturn's cobblestones, ancient and rarely cared for, felt much more like home.

"Good afternoon."  She spoke clearly, her eyes locked on the big figure before her.  Though there was no threat in her tone, her expression and the way she held her wand left little doubt as to intent.  The Cursebreaker relaxed her stance, shifted her weight onto the balls of her feet.  The dust was already quivering, but there was still at least one more on the roof.  At the first crack of apparition, she'd have to be ready to move.

Adrenaline was already coursing through her, setting her heart to pounding.  Raizel flashed the paunchy, stubbly wizard a glittering, challenging smile that showed her teeth. 

"Do either of you happen to know where the nearest tea shop is?"  Her eyes flicked to the boy lying on the ground, then coolly back to meet his captor's gaze.  "I've somehow lost my way, I think."

Rémy observed ruefully that the cut on his jaw had bled on his shirt collar, which wasn't necessarily too bad since it was dirty anyway (and on purpose), but still disappointing since he'd hoped to be able to wash the dirt off and wear it to work the next day. That was when she showed up.

At the first sound of "Good morning," the two thugs turned their heads sharply to stare at the woman who had just intruded on their business, rather like two wolves alarmed to be caught hunting in the sheepfold, or maybe more aptly, two dogs chasing a fox around the chicken coop. Rem, his head beginning to clear, craned his neck to see her from where he lay on the ground. He was surprised to see she looked quite...ordinary. From the subtle, uncertain shift of Stubbly's weight on his wrist, he gathered that his foes were also surprised, and not sure what to make of the witch who had just interrupted them.

Even if they hadn't noticed the way she held herself, the way she shifted her weight in preparation for a fight, they couldn't have missed the drawn wand or the grin that scarcely concealed the veiled threat behind it. Rem guessed the thugs' instincts were at war with themselves, not sure whether to take the threat seriously or ignore since she didn't really look all that dangerous.

He also took a moment to note, somewhat pleased, that she was a fellow leftie.

"Hello," Rem greeted her cheerfully, waving with his free hand, quite content to appear oblivious of his situation. In reality, his brain was gradually chugging back into full working order, and he was thinking of all the way this new wrench in the system could change the tables in his favor. Stubbly didn't take kindly to his piping up, and with a growl pressed down harder on his wrist. Rem winced, but otherwise kept his mouth shut.

At length, Lanky, still peering over the edge of the roof, volunteered hesitantly, " The're's a tea shop down th' street...."

"Shu' i', Lewis," Stubbly snapped irritably. He then turned on the woman, growling dangerously, "If you hadn' no'iced, we're busy righ' now, so sod off thank you very much."

Stubbly's moment of distraction caused him to shift his weight just so, and in that moment Rem was able to move his hand just enough to fully grasp his wand and aim a blasting charm at the nearest destructible object, which happened to be one of the crates outside the shop. He'd peered inside most of them, but didn't quite remember what that particular one contained -

With the shattering crack of splintering wood and sounds of shattering glass, the crate exploded, sending up a cloud of vomit green smoke. Oh. Now he remembered. That was the one with the suspicious-looking potions inside.

As Stubbly spun to face the explosion, startled, Rem managed to pull his arm loose and roll away from his captor, who realized what was happening too late; by the time he whirled back around, Rem was already on his feet, and the big man only just managed to throw himself to the side to avoid a stunning spell aimed his way. He thought he heard a snarl of "Li'l git," but as he had heard that one a few too many times to care and a sharp pop signalled Lanky's apparating onto the ground, he didn't pay it too much mind.

"I would show you to the tea shop, but honestly, you don't seem like a tea person," he declared hastily, scrambling backward to avoid, simultaneously, a hex hurled by Lanky and a violent lunge on Stubbly's part. "May I recommend the nice pub up the way a bit?"