Chaos, roll calls, arguments, people's luggage getting lost, there being an odd number of boys...

Travelling with children was certainly an experience, Tapendra had decided. Maybe the saying was true; you could travel first class or you could bring children, and there was no middle ground.

He was glad, as the sun sank below the horizon, that they didn't have to watch the children as stringently. They were free to wander the hotel, and the lectures on what could happen if they left it had been made. Dinner had been served and eaten, his luggage was unpacked (or rather, pulled out and tossed aside as he looked for his phone, but still) and he had some time to relax.

He sat at one of the corner tables of the balcony dining area, watching the sea. It was quiet, the distant hum of Alexandria muffled by the inlet, the thrum of the tide a constant and soothing beat...

Bwak!

Of course, he wasn't just watching the sea.

"Damn," he muttered, and picked up another piece of chocolate, munching it. Why was it such a pain to drop these eggs right?  "You little bastards," he told his iPhone, as the sound of snorting laughter played. He put his phone down and refilled his wine glass, pausing when he saw a familiar form from the corner of his eye on the empty patio.

"How's Abby liking Egypt?" He asked Aileen, without really looking over at her. He sat back - the metal chair he occupied already rocked back against the stone wall - and picked his phone back up, restarting the level.

Their first day in Alexandria had been long and eventful. After vomiting children, squabbling over rooms, Abby sneaking around just to spite her, Tapendra slurping his soup just to spite her, and luggage mishaps, Aileen was ready for some peace and quiet. She'd unpacked a few of her things and then left her room to find the main balcony, which was empty after dinner time. Nearly empty.

She paused on the patio when she saw Tapendra in one of the chairs, refilling his wine glass. He had the right idea - chocolate and wine, and she wished she'd thought of it first (and claimed the area). However, if she was tired, he must be tired too, so perhaps that meant they could share the balcony without annoying each other. Or perhaps that meant the opposite!

Aileen moved towards the railing and looked out at the view, noticing that Tapendra seemed focused on his wine (understandable) and the gadget in his hands (less understandable). At his question, she shrugged and smiled slightly.

"She loves it. Though I don't see why she wouldn't. It's like one big party for her. The hotel, beach, shopping, being with friends. We might have a hard time convincing her to leave once all of this is over."

Admittedly, she was glad to be on the trip as well. Rowdy students weren't so terrible in comparison to the dagger's curse and everything she'd finally resolved at home. It was only the first day so she was still optimistic.

Aileen glanced back, about to ask how Cyhirae and Georgiana were liking the trip, when maniacal cackling and a silly tune burst out from the phone.

"Did Mr. Falkin's swearing frog infect your mobile?" Aileen wondered half-jokingly, curious despite herself.

It was hard to imagine Abby not enjoying herself, now that he thought about it, but still. "Good to hear," Tapendra said, and failed the level again. He scowled and set the phone aside, just in time to see Aileen looking at it. He pressed the button on the side to mute it, which cut off the pig's laughter. He smiled slightly, in an attempt to avoid the embarrassment. He was normally good at that game. He was just out of practice. Yes. That was it.

Surely.

"I'm sure we can convince her," he said. "It won't be all sea and sand after a week or so, after all. She'll get tired of it just being sand, I'm sure..." And the places you got it. This hotel had detachable shower heads and he'd put those to good use.

His eyes followed hers to the phone and he slumped. "Hmph, no," he said, picking up a piece of chocolate and biting it in obvious annoyance. "It's just a difficult level, is all. No one else I know can beat it!" Lies were fun. "I've just lost my touch."

Then he seemed to remember something, and he smirked. "What, Abby hasn't gotten games on her phone yet?" He asked. "I'm surprised you bought her one," he added, remembering to stick the cork back into the wine bottle. "I thought you hated muggle things."

Aileen nodded, thinking since Abby was so easily amused, all they needed to do was tell her she'd encounter camels and pyramids and shiny things at their next destination. She turned away from the view and leaned against the balcony, her elbows resting on the railing. Aileen looked at him and raised her eyebrows. Apparently the game on his phone was giving him trouble that even chocolate couldn't solve.

Her amusement faded for a moment when he mentioned Abby's phone, making it clear Abby had told him (and probably everybody else) that she'd bought it for her.

Both embarrassed and defensive, Aileen started to cross her arms, then sighed and shifted towards the view again.

"I don't hate them," she clarified over her shoulder. "But they are nuisances." Was she talking about muggles or muggle things? Probably both!

"I bought her a phone because..." Aileen trailed off, unprepared to answer that. Because they'd had a fight and she had been trying to be nice? Because Abby had really wanted one? Valid reasons, but hard for her to admit.

"It's easier for her to keep in touch with Sasha, it gives her something new to do, and for some reason she likes the silly things," Aileen offered a longwinded explanation with stiff shoulders.

"I don't think she knows those games exist," Aileen added in a lighter tone. "So unless you want to get a thousand chirps[1] about her high scores, we should keep it that way."

She hoped that would discourage him from telling Abby about the cell phone games. Otherwise, she'd hear BWAK! BWAK! all day long.

1.	She means texts or tweets... it's very confusing for purebloods!

Tapendra looked at Aileen over the top of his glasses, his gaze steady and neutral. He was very clearly making some sort of judgement of her, one he was thinking intensely about even as he raised his wineglass to his lips, took a sip, and replaced it on the table.

Somehow, he didn't see Aileen getting Abby a phone just to make it easier for her to talk to Sasha. A faster owl, if that was the case, or perhaps a two-way mirror. She'd have had to deal with muggles to get it; Abby wouldn't have had a clue, either. Somehow that mental image was both sweet...and hilarious. He wondered if she'd tried to hand over galleons.

He smiled, his expression warm and gentle and utterly genuine, or course. His conclusion was simple; in a way, he hoped he was right. It would certainly explain why Abby was so happy about it...and why Aileen was so stiff-shouldered about it.

"That was very sweet of you, Aileen," he said, happily. "It really made her happy."

He held a piece of chocolate out to her, because of course he wasn't teasing her. At all. There was something about gently annoying Aileen that released a lot of stress, he was finding. It was like flicking a cat's ears and watching them bat them; annoying for the subject and casually enjoyable for the subjecter.

Aileen stared back at him, expression wary as whatever conclusions he'd made settled in his brain. Faulty conclusions! He was smiling at her like she'd just sprouted Croc shoes, jeans, and an 'I love muggles' t-shirt.

The compliment startled her even more, and she couldn't quite figure out if he was just messing with her, or if he was really that deluded and sappy. No matter. 100 points for Tapendra, because it was working! For a few moments, Aileen was at a loss for retorts and self-consciously ran a hand through her hair.

Her eyes narrowed (yes, sort of like a cat's), and she regained her composure enough to shake her head at him.

"You can laugh at me all you want, but I'm taking the chocolate," she plucked the offered piece and popped it in her mouth, giving him a sour look as she chewed.

He tried not to look smug and failed, though he almost contained it. Frazzling Aileen was easy and fun. And he had a month to do it...ahh. He'd probably get hexed within the week. And after he had to talk to lawyers he'd probably get pushed off a roof. He could see it coming.

Oh well. Worth it! It was certainly cheering him up and - he would tell himself this to justify it, of course - she needed it. Nothing cheered people up like having them learn to laugh at themselves, after all! She needed to loosen up.

Of course teasing her endlessly was the best way to do that. Obviously. The fact this was exactly the same way he'd become friends with Judy was lost on him; he just felt into it like a habit.

"I'm not laughing at you," he said, though his smile turning into a smirk revealed that was far from the truth. "I'll only laugh at you when you get the bill for all those text messages she's sending everyone..."

He picked up his phone, woke it up and tapped his fingers on it; when he turned it so she could see the screen, it was full of messages from Abby. The top one was visible; all it said was "Can I drink here? I turn 17 in October!!" But the screen's scroll bar hinted that he'd gotten quite a few throughout the day.

"International rates are a lot," he said, pulling his phone back to him. "If Cy or Georgiana run up a bill I'm making them get jobs to pay for it." He looked back up at Aileen, still smiling. "You got the phone on your own?"

It was time for a slow-motion facepalm. Aileen put her hand to her head and ignored his smirk as best she could, scarcely believing she was making it so easy for him to mess with her.

Bill? Cell phone bill?!

With a worried and offended expression, she stared at the long list of messages from Abby to Tappy, and forgot to be irritated with him for two seconds.

"International rates?" She repeated the phrase curtly as if it were some dark, evil spell.

"That's not funny, Tapendra," she said in complete seriousness, looking at him as if he'd invented the phrase.

"Tell her no to the drinking!" Aileen frowned at the phone. Scolding Abby was one thing, at least, she understood and knew how to do in this mess. Though she should be the one scolding, not Tapendra. Abby probably expected more leniency out of him, but Aileen was still a little offended Abby had asked him and not her.

He blinked at her - actually surprised for a moment that she didn't know what he meant. But then...well...she was Aileen. In a way, he felt sorry for her; no doubt the salesperson hadn't answered any questions Aileen hadn't known to ask. Somehow the thought of her standing in the store confused but trying to keep up her empirical attitude was both hilarious and endearing.

"I did tell her no!" he said, frowning. Of course he'd told her no. The fact he'd added unless you have your sister or I with you wasn't something Aileen needed to know, of course. Hopefully Abby wouldn't tell her. "What do you think I am, nuts?" She wasn't getting drunk without supervision. And, slightly later, encouragement.

He paused to consider maybe he was being too indulgent of Abby. But it was hard to tell her no; she had the puppy eye perfected!

"International rates are...well...you pay your bill, right?" He asked, hoping she did. Otherwise she really wasn't going to be happy about her mail when they got back. "You signed a contract too, right? What did it say?"

Aileen pointedly neglected to answer Tapendra's question as to whether he was sane. She just looked at him, slightly mollified that he seemed offended she'd asked. At least she wasn't the only one with ruffled feathers on the balcony!

"Yes, of course!" Aileen answered his first question about paying the bill, attempting to sound as knowledgeable about mysterious mobiles as she could.

"The contract said she had unlimited chirps and calls for one year," she explained defensively. "They called it their 'talkative teenager' plan." That at least, she'd understood!

Aileen regarded him with a skeptical look, wondering how helpful he was going to be, or if he'd be both helpful and smug about this entire situation. She was tempted to pretend like she had it under control and just deal with the bill when she arrived home. But money won out over pride, for once.

"Can I turn off the chirping altogether? Or limit it somehow? You're the expert on ridiculous muggle contraptions," she added, pursing her lips. That was the closest she was going to get to asking him for help.

"Chirps?" He asked, doubtfully. Tweets, maybe? Or...he looked at her, not bothering to hide the fact he wasn't sure what she'd just said. "Okay." Unlimited..that was a good plan. Maybe he needed to upgrade Georgiana's. He smiled again. "Teenagers don't change much no matter which world you're in, that's for sure. Just be glad wizards don't have Facebook." Yet. Though Abby and the internet made him a bit nervous.

He grunted, and wordlessly, he slid the wine bottle towards her in offering. She was likely going to need it.

"Well, not exactly," he said. "You could take away her charger, but seeing as how she's, well, a Squib - I'd feel safer if she kept it on her and charged, just in case. I doubt anything will happen, but...they're good in emergencies, cell phones. She can't call you, but she could call me, and then I'd know instantly she's in trouble rather than having to wait til she doesn't meet up with us on time."

He smirked again. "I think you'd agree that's worth a galleon of fees. But, hm." He leaned back in his chair again, thinking.

"I could show you how to tell if she's been calling or texting," he said. "You could just check the phone at night. Technically you can delete the call history, but I don't think she knows how. Or you could set it to Airplane mode whenever she's in the hotel."

Tapendra was spouting many odd words that Aileen didn't understand and wasn't sure she wanted to. Facebook: a book for your face? Aileen accepted the bottle and poured herself a glass of wine, taking a longer drink than usual as he brought up the very valid concern that Abby might need the phone if she got into any spot of trouble here.

"Yes, I know," she waved her hand at him in a flippant gesture, having no idea that likely fit the cat comparison Tapendra had been doing in his head earlier.

Aha! Text was the word for it, not cheeps! Chirps?

Aileen stared at him, giving him as neutral a look as she could manage as she attempted to figure out what in the world 'call history' and 'airplane mode' meant. She had the sudden image of Abby's phone attaching itself to the nearest airplane flying above, and taking a trip across the sky as Abby went about her day. It was almost like he was confusing her on purpose!

"That seems awfully complicated," she commented with a huff, taking another sip of wine. The alternative, however, was simply telling Abby to limit her texting to emergencies, but Aileen could just imagine Abby stretching the definition of the word like she had with 'wading' earlier.

Aileen eyed Tapendra's phone warily as she continued to grumble. "Besides, she doesn't need to give anyone updates. Everyone she cares to talk to is here, on the trip. Would you mind showing me what this airplane mode is?"

She veered into the question suddenly, knowing she'd never ask otherwise, and Merlin help her, Tapendra better not smirk! Aileen glanced at the night sky, then back at the phone, still thinking it might grow wings.

"Well, she is 16," Tapendra said. "She doesn't need more cute boots, but I'd bet money she'll have three new pairs before we get to Cairo." He waved his phone to indicate it, and with the screen facing Aileen, his movement made the phone switch the orientation of the screen's content a few times. When he turned it back to him, he frowned and shook it to get it back to upright.

"Besides, it's an instant way for her to tell everyone about things," he said, more to himself than Aileen. "Anything she wants them to know about, anyway..."

He looked up at Aileen as she grumbled, considering her over the top of his glasses. Then he smirked again, just slightly, clearly amused she'd ask for his help in such a quick and dodged manner. "It's not that complex," he said, and then he sat forward, placing his phone on the table between them, the screen towards her.

"What you do is," he said, his fingers dancing across the phone's screen and making the windows visibly slide to the side or up, "You go to Settings. It'll be labelled, probably with a gear - for some reason that's a popular symbol - and then you go to Airplane Mode. It'll probably be a little airplane symbol. If it's not on the main Settings menu, it'll be under Wi-Fi settings, which is this symbol here." He tapped it to indicate it, and muttered when it activated and the phone popped up the Wi-Fi menu.

"You get call or message history more or less the same way," he continued, and one could surmise he was having more fun focusing on showing off the sliding screen than he was on making sense...and they'd have been right. "You go to Phone or Messages and hit History and there you go. They'll all have a time stamp on them, too."

He smiled. "See? Easy. Cy figured it out when she was eight." A challenge? Absolutely not! It was just an observation he'd felt like sharing.

Aileen nodded when he made the comment about cute boots. Thank Merlin for expansion charms and featherweight charms on suitcases. Otherwise, they'd never make it back to England with all of Abby's things! Not that Aileen contributed to that issue at all. She'd only brought five suitcases!

She managed to ignore his smirk because he was showing her how to access airplane mode on his phone, and to her relief (and confusion) the phone did not sprout wings and start flying up to the stars. She had no idea what 'why-fi' was, and therefore ignored its existence. Airplane mode was confusing enough!

When he repeated again that it was easy, Aileen looked like she was trying to resist the urge to throttle him. Instead of killing him, she imperiously held out her hand for the phone.

She held it gingerly away from her and squinted at the screen, lips pursed, eyebrows drawn together, looking like her grandmother might have when she'd first encountered a auto-inking quill. Everything start out alright! Aileen tapped the settings icon, then jerked back slightly when the screen changed. She glanced at Tapendra, then focused her attention on the phone.

That was when it all went to hell! Attempting the scroll bar made the screen flash back a few pages, causing Aileen to blink at it worriedly and shift her stance so Tapendra couldn't lean over and see her mistake. She drew the phone closer to her and tilted her head at the two boxes on the screen: one filled with birds, the other filled with baubles. How'd they fit that in there!

Aileen tapped a few times on the screen, thinking that would make it do something, and do something it did!

A jaunty tune (the one from earlier) erupted from the phone, and Aileen jumped as birds started hopping on the screen. She shoved the mobile at Tapendra, half-expecting the birds to fly out at her.

"What did it do?!"

The phone's fault, clearly.

She was funny to watch; holding the phone like one might hold an arcane object when you didn't know what it did.  Tapendra tried to keep the smirk off his face - he really did! - but it was impossible. He held the laughs back, at least...somehow. Aileen really should have been grateful for his self control.

He wondered exactly what had driven her to buy a phone for Abby, though, since she was making such a show of not trusting his...

The Angry Birds theme starting up wasn't any help at all. He sat stoically for a second, but when she jumped and thrust the phone back into his hands...he gave in and snorted, his smirk giving way to snickering and then, finally, laughter.

"Merlin, woman, you act like it could actually hurt you," he said, shaking his head and taking the phone back. "You just started up a game, is all. For someone who used to poke around in cursed ruins, you sure are jumpy over a little muggle object!"