Huxley had chosen his most recent spot in the library very deliberately, and had been leaning back on the rear legs of his chair for a good five minutes staring directly at a very shapely and very blonde seventh-year whose name he was not familiar with. She had her hair pulled back into a bun and had chosen (yes, it was definitely deliberate, he surmised) to wear horn-rimmed glasses and her school uniform to do her studying in.

The other element of this precarious cat-and-mouse game was that he had been pretending to read a very large tome of adult-level dueling skill sets. His gaze was flat and intense and upon thinking about it, he didn't remember whether he had blinked in the past half hour.

Huck had been with older girls before. Something about being the fresh-faced, innocent young man to an experienced and more intelligent (which, let's face it, was every girl) girl really tickled his fancy. And the pursuit of such women, who were so undeniably out of his league and were generally not interested in a guttermouthed young hooligan, was a favorite pasttime of his.

Usually someone came round to chuck him out the library eventually when they figured out what he was up to, but so far the Slytherin had been left in total peace. It was a shame, really- some girls responded to the devilish grin he'd flash them as he was dragged out by an angry professor.

Out of sheer boredom Church found himself in the library. He didn't really need to be here, he had never needed to study. In fact most of the time he was in here he corrected students who were studying. Some of them thanked him, other simply glared. Which Church had no qualms with, it was their grade, not his.

So calmly he prowled down the rows of bookshelves, hoping to find anything that caught his interest. And naturally something finally did; only it wasn't a book. Huxley Ward, fifth year Slytherin, known to have rather childish attitude and get thrown out of the library for trying to pick up girls or some such. Which meant... yep, there was the target. Only Church doubted Huxley knew who he was eying. And if Church could help it he'd keep anyone from being devoured by a bitch.

Quietly Church walked up behind the boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ward," he said in a low voice. "Just thought you should know for your own safety. She's a man eater. So unless you actually enjoy the idea of your heart both literally and metaphorically being consumed, I'd choose a different target."

The feeling of a decidedly male hand on his shoulder was a rather unwelcome development for the boy, and he decided not to look back at him. There was a nagging suspicion in the front of his mind that the second he looked away the girl would change positions or leave entirely. "What do you want, Comer?" he said under his breath. "Being an unconscionable cockblocker again?"

There was a part of him that was sure that the awareness of a second static male figure on the girl's radar would send her packing. And that would mean a whole new spot, a new tactical plan, and a new cover. That was unacceptable.

At the end of Comer's sentence, Huck cocked an eyebrow and looked back. Whether the girl left or not, he needed to figure out what the bloody hell the other boy was on about. "Are you high, Comer?" he sneered. "Been huffing paint again in the art department? What are you talkin' about?"

Church let out a pfft. "Hux, when have I ever cock-blocked someone?" he asked playfully. Generally speaking Church had kept out of most peoples relationships and flirtations unless they specifically dragged him into it. And then when people did that they often hated what he had to say.

"High on life, mate," Church replied sarcastically rolling his eyes. "But I'm saying she's a succubus. I know three guys who have dated her," he nodded at the seventh-year across the room. "Of course I wouldn't really call two of them guys any more, never seen anything quite so broken. And the Third? I think they're still trying to find all the body pieces."

With a slight sadistic laugh Church removed his hand from Huxley's shoulder and turned to head back down the rows. "But if you're still down, I wish you luck," Church said over his shoulder. "Really, it's your funeral. Just figured I'd give you a friendly heads up," he said with a wink.

"Right now," Huck hissed back, "with me."

He listened quietly while Church explained himself, glancing quietly from the tabletop to the girl, his eyes weighing her features against his claims. "What do you mean?" he asked finally. "Does she actually eat people? Are you trying to tell me there's a secret cannibal at school?"

His last question wasn't entirely a joke, as much as he made it seem like one.

Church rolled his eyes. "I'm running into an issue where I can't tell if you're serious or not," he said stepping back over to Huxley. "No, what I mean is she breaks people. I don't know how, but for a girl who looks so unassuming," Church cast a dark glance at her. "Well okay, I actually don't know what happened to that third guy. Haven't seen him since they broke up..."

He shrugged and took a seat next to Huxley, now having to look up slightly because of the height difference. "Besides," Church continued. "I'm sure you could find a pretty girl who isn't a devourer of souls on this campus and woo her easily enough, right? No need to go for the bitches."

Huck furrowed his brow. "I'm not tryina marry this girl, Comer," he said briskly. "Do you really think she'd have a chance at eating my heart if we just... you know, had fun?"

He was looking around more now, though. "I mean, even man-eaters like to just kick back and get it... right?"

The b-word always made Huck wince a little. For someone who slept around as much as Huck, it seemed silly to take issue with it but the part of him that was a product of his sisters definitely flared up. He squinted and looked back at the boy. "Maybe it was your friends that were the pricks," he suggested with a little bit of an edge to his voice. "It sounds to me like you don't know her very well."

He was well aware of the stigma that came with being a Slytherin- especially when he tended towards its more traditional personality traits- but the persistent thought plagued him that people probably said the same things about Veronica. And that thought made him seething mad.

Ravenclaws always thought they were right.

The arseholes.

"Hmm," Church leaned back slightly considering it. "She may be down," he said with a shrug. "I don;t see why she wouldn't but, hell, I don't know the gal that well."

At the comment that the guys he knew were pricks, Church almost fell over laughing. It was true that some of the people he hung around with were of more... colorful character. But... "Nah," Church countered. "Well maybe the third guy, he was a Gryffindor after all. But the other two were prime examples of Hufflepuffs. I'm not sure you'd meet nicer guys," he let out a slightly bitter laugh and shook his head.

Suddenly Church felt rather bored. It was probably due to talking with Huxley who, in Church's eyes, seemed too slow to know advice when he saw it. Idly he glanced at one of the book shelves and summoned a text on curses that would have been interesting if Church hadn't read it almost ten times now.

Without hesitation he flipped through to some of the more violent ones, all of which had vivid descriptions of what they did to the cursed person. "I know what you're thinking, mate," Church said not bothering to look up. "You're thinking I'm basing this off of the 'all Slytherin's are jerks' thing. But trust me when I say she's trouble," he glanced up from the book and eyed Huxley for a moment.

"Besides I still say you could do better."

Huxley wasn't totally sure what Church's tone was about when discussing the Hufflepuff boys, but if he had to guess he'd guess that Church wasn't too taken with the house. ...Or with Gryffindor. ...Or with Slytherin, for that matter. He'd never understood the backlash against Hufflepuffs. Sure, they were a bit on the dull side, but look at the Fayette twins. Or even Figaro. Hufflepuffs could be bad-ass.

If there was one thing that Huck wasn't a fan of, it was being told what to do. The dickbag little Slytherin spirit in him would just go bananas at being given an order or a piece of advice, and he'd wind up going so far out of his way to do the opposite of what he was told that he'd get more done if no one ever gave him an instruction.

...which he had used as an excuse to explain why he had skipped class multiple times. No one bought it.

When Church let him know that he 'could do better,' however, his designs on the girl were instantly dropped in favor of an insatiable curiosity that threatened to consume him. "You think so?" he asked, trying to seem casual. "I dunno. She's well attractive."

Fishing. Always fishing.

Church glanced over the top of the book at the girl. Was she attractive? Yes, physically Church supposed she was. If only physically. "I guess," he replied looking back at the text as the flipped through it. "Pretty face, ugly soul..." Church gave a shrug. Really, he wasn't sure whether he would call her attractive. But that was probably because he knew how she treated her boyfriends.

Growing bored of the text Church closed it with a snap and tossed it onto the table. "I don't know man," he said idly pulling off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "She may be down for a round, I'm not sure. I've never heard of her being with anyone but the guy she's dating at the time," again he shrugged and pushed his glasses back on.

"Guess you could give  it a go?"

Huck waved his hands dismissively. "No, no, no," he said quickly. "I believe you. I'm over it. But," he said pointedly, "the part I wanted to clarify, there, was, uh..."

Trying to look perfectly casual, he ran a hand through his hair and glanced over to the older boy. "You, ah..... think I could do better, do you?" His face had melted slowly into its characteristic boyish grin. "How... how much better, d'you think?"

His giddiness had gotten the best of him.

Church did his best not to roll his eyes. And not to laugh hysterically. Huxley certainly was a piece of work, albeit a rather fun one. A part of his mind dug back into the file that had Huxley's name on it and reminded him that along with that childish attitude he could be fairly arrogant. But that was fine, after all, Church had been playing that part for years.

"Well," Church said still fighting back laughter. "I bet you could find a girl who actually liked you for you, and doesn't want to date you just to fuck with your head." He gave a playful shrug and leaned back slightly.

"Aren't you friends with like, Wiedman and Slant and all of them?" The question was rhetorical, although Church doubted if Huxley knew that. "They seem like a much better fit for you, granted I don't know them all that well." Again Church shrugged.

"Or hell, you could date a nice Hufflepuff girl, or something. I doubt you'd find a girl more loyal anywhere else. Or a fiery Gryffindor. They're always entertaining at the very least."

Huck smirked broadly. "I dunno how many girls would look at all this eye candy and decide they wanted to fuck me head, man," he said, his voice full of giddiness. He giggled and waved his hands. "Oh, God, sorry. That was weird. Inappropriate. Right." He cleared his voice.

Church's suggestion that he try to date Mimi or Livi or Jordyn or Gracie made him grin and turn away. "Nahh," he said shyly, "they're monarchy girls. They belong with smart, handsome gits like Norwood or... I dunno, Schlagenweit, or somebody. A guy that has a chance of bein' more of a success than they'll be. 'Cause, let's face it, mate, take a look at the goods, here. What you see is what you get, like. Kind of a bum deal, once you get past the candy coating, don'tcha think?"

He was madly in love with his friends. Madly. But his big brother instincts were his number one driving force in matters of the heart and he knew he would have serious reservations about seeing any of them date a guy like him. Well-meaning or not, he was a loud, crass, cocky, halfblood, poor  dope with a pretty face and a hollow skull. Not exactly the 'catch' their fancy-pants parents were looking for.

Huck had considered his options on the house front and had more or less come to the conclusion that a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin were the only ways he could go. He could go with a sweet and simple girl or a feisty, serpentine girl who would keep him on his toes, but dating a brainiac was a horrible move for a guy who couldn't spell 'laughter' correctly until he was in his second year. And Gryffindors tended to slap him. A lot.

Okay. That was funny. And Church, though he tried, couldn't help laughing. Because he was in the library he quickly put his hand over his mouth to stifle it, but it was still painfully obvious how amused he was. Oh god. Church never realized how funny the kid could be.

Church gave a slight shrug at the comment about monarchy girls. "Wouldn't stop me if I were interested, but to each their own." He actually wasn't one hundred percent sure on what Huxley meant. He supposed it was a point on how they were all, to Church's knowledge, Purebloods. So it was probable Huxley meant that their families wouldn't approve of him.

But still, he eyed Huxley evenly. "True," Church said in agreement. "If I had a sister I wouldn't want her to be dating you, but..." he trailed off, not sure how to put this. "I'm sure," Church said slowly, "that if you stopped being somewhat crude the majority of the time and kept up the Quidditch, you could go pro."

"And no, the attitude adjustments have nothing to do with playing the sport."

He smiled in a distant way as though he were off in his own little world. "It's not that... it's just..." he tried to figure out how to phrase it. It was a weird emotion, definitely, and understanding it was hard enough without trying to put words to it. "I love 'em. And I respect 'em too much to let 'em settle for a tosser like me when I know bloody well that they could be with a fuckin' movie star, like. Or a prince. Or whatever. And I'm okay with that, for whatever stupid reason. I just like bein' able to make 'em happy."

For Huxley, being surrounded by girls was a normal occurrence anyway. His entire childhood was spent with his sisters. He had a bunch of girl cousins. He spent summers knee-deep in tiny girls. It only made sense that he should be a teddy bear for all the popular Slytherin girls as well. It had its benefits. For one, it ensured that anyone in his year who might have picked on him was already his good friend. For two, they were the best people he knew and they made him giddy when he was around them.

A quick squint at being called crude quickly melted into a grin, and he shrugged goofily. "Y'know," he said, trying to sound diplomatic, "they don't really look atcha for that kinda stuff unless you play for the school. Usually. ...I am good at things besides sports, if that's what you're tryin' to insinuate," he said with a pointed smirk.