8:15 am, Just after Breakfast//

The early morning air was crisp - cold and clear. It was odd to think June was right around the corner - how time flew! It didn't seem long ago that snow how still clung to the battlements, or that the spring rain had made charting impossible...or that he'd been working from home. It had been an odd and stressful year indeed.

He was looking forward to going home, though. Not having a computer was torture like few here understood. No mp3 players, no television...as odd as it might have seemed to his younger self, Hogwarts was really quite dull, in many ways.

Standing out by the Hospital Hut's small barn, Tapendra had one knee up on the fence's lower rail, his arms crossed on the top one. The two horses had come over to check him out, and he was scratching the mare's ears.

His breath was almost visible in the air, and his attire even more bizarre than usual; well, for a wizard, anyhow. Most of the muggleborns would have recognized it as a pair of track pants and a t-shirt. The fact he actually had shoes on was really the only remarkable thing, though.

Tapendra had to take up his full excersize routine, with the heavy food of the castle literally weighing him down. It seemed to be working, and a jog around the grounds woke him up well enough. He had a feeling he'd be asleep on the couches after he was done out here, though; 3 hours of sleep was almost never enough to keep him up all day, especially without something stressful or something to really work on.

His wand was stuck down one of his socks; he drew it to absently dry the sweat off his face and clean himself off. It was interesting how scourgify was almost perfect at cleaning - but never really beat a shower. He was attempting to get his hair under some semblance of control when he spotted a distant figure approaching from the castle.

He looked up and waved, smiling. "Good morning, Sasha," he said, and the mare nickered at the familiar boy. "How was breakfast?"

One more week and one more weekend stood between Sasha and the start of OWLs.  Most of the next week's classes were likely to be last minute review and preparation as the fifth years tried to put what they'd learned over the course of the last five years into order before the Ministry's arrival. 

Sasha's schedule had become almost painfully predictable - even more so than before.  He usually got a good hour of studying in in the Ravenclaw common room before heading down to the stables to take care of the mare and foal.  Then, more studying before heading to his first class, breakfast in hand.  Lunch was spent with notes in one hand and lunch in the other.  Likewise, dinner.  And, his studying in the evening would usually only be broken up by the move from the astronomy tower to the common room after curfew.  Everything superfluous had been dusted from his schedule.  He ate, he went to class, he did his prefect duties, he met with Mr. Morgan for practice, he tended the mare and he studied. 

On occasion, he slept. 

But, this Saturday, Sasha had already put in a good three hours of studying before he'd made his way down to the paddocks to meet Professor Trishna.  For the last month of school, exercising daily had been one of those superfluous things that had fallen to the wayside. 

Professor Trishna was already waiting for him when Sasha jogged up to the fenceline, Baldur trotting behind at Sasha's heels, and the fifth year returned the wave as he drew near.  After spotting the Astronomy professor, the shepherd broke into a lope and greeted the man, his tail wagging exuberantly.  "Morgen," Sasha offered as he leaned over the rail to run a hand down the mare's neck.  Despite appearances, the greeting had been directed at the man rather than the animal.  In response to Professor Trishna's question, Sasha sheepishly tugged a hunk of breakfast wheat bread from one pocket and an apple from the other.  Much to some of his friends' and professor's chagrin, meals in the Great Hall had also joined the list of superfluous activities. 

"I've compiled a list," Sasha declared, biting into the apple to hold it as he fetched the bit of parchment from his other pocket and unfolded it and held it out to Professor Trishna.  After biting off the chunk and swallowing, he resumed his explanation.  "All the spells and incantations we've covered since first year.  My wandwork was really complete quatsch my first and second year so, sadly enough, I'm more worried about the earlier stuff.  I used to have to fight to get my first wand to do anything."  He now knew why but it had taken until his third year before he and his wand had established some degree of a solid working relationship. 

He smiled at the apple and bread; that was more than he'd had for breakfast, though he'd change that around noon.

Kneeling, he scratched Baldur behind the ears, cooing softly at the dog as Sasha, in turn, greeted the waiting horse. Tapendra's own schedule was considerably more open than Sasha's; though the amount of pressure he was putting on students to study was definitely increasing. Thankfully his 'claws weren't an issue. The Gryffindors, though...

Taking the list, his eyebrows vanished into his hairline. "That's a lot," he said, charitably, mostly to hide the reaction of Merlin, I don't remember half of these either.

Standing back up, he pulled out his wand, the blue crystal catching the sunlight and making him have to blink rapidly. "Hm," he said, tapping the pointed tip against his lips as he looked at the list.

"What's your weakest area, then?" He asked, glancing over at Sasha. "The first year charms are, usually, simple enough..." He looked at Baldur, then smiled at him; raising his wand. "I know they test this one," he said, pointing his wand.

"Abeo Umbra," he said, and Baldur's fur - spreading out from his forehead - turned white. Tapendra cocked his head to the side. "You look like that, Ballsy," he said, then cleared his throat loudly. "I almost botched that one on my OWL. The apple turned sienna instead of orange."

"I never brought my books home at the end of the year," Sasha explained, simply, having eaten the apple just until none of the skin remained and fed the remainder of it to the mare.  "I kept them in my dorm so I have all of my textbooks and notes with me since first year."  A fact which really didn't directly impact the number of spells on the list - just the conclusiveness of the list. 

Sasha followed Professor Trishna's lead and slipped his own wand free from his pocket and held it carefully at his side, with considerably less casual ease than the Professor.  He was extremely cognizant of the strong ... bond or whatever it was ... he held with the avodire wand; that was the primary reason he'd finally opted to use the wand, despite its unfortunate entrance into Sasha's life.  But, at the same time, the wand still intimidated him.  He couldn't quite explain it and he certainly hadn't ever tried to explain it to anyone else but whenever he used it, he couldn't shake the sense that his wand ... Well, it almost felt like the wand was the stronger individual between the two of them.  Like the wand was the dominant half of the relationship.  He had no idea if such a thing was possible and he was certain he could predict the responses of most of those he'd consider talking to. 

"Defense," Sasha admitted with little hesitation.  In the wandwork classes, Defense Against the Dark Arts had always been his weak point.  Now that his defense repertoire had expanded to include material from Kronos, Terry and Mr. Morgan, Sasha was even a bit more uncertain about performing any magic that entailed casting defensive spells in the presence of or even at the Ministry testing official.  They already knew he knew spells that could slice people into steak tartar - the last thing he needed was to fire off some other Kronos-approved spell. 

"I'm alright with Transfiguration; it's the easiest of the three classes for me.  It all kind of builds on the same concept."  Of the wandwork classes, Transfiguration was the most pattern-based.  Changing a toothpick into a pin wasn't all that different from changing a matchstick into a toothpick.  "And, I've been practicing charms a lot."  Charms didn't require other people.  More importantly, it didn't require practicing on other people.  Or, dogs.  Most of the time.  Other than now.

Sasha glanced down at the now white shepherd and grinned, watching as the dog sniffed curiously at his suddenly lighter and brighter paws.  "It's cute.  He almost looks- Ballsy?"  Had he heard that right?  Had Professor Trishna just called Baldur Ballsy?  Sasha stared at the older man for a couple breaths but the professor's cough made Sasha cover his mouth with a hand to stifle a laugh.  "So -" Sasha said, trying to refocus on the serious stuff.  "It's- They ... they just test us on inanimate objects, right?  Like that apple?" 

"Lucky for you, then," Tapendra said, happily. "Defense is my strongest spellcasting field, actually. And Transfiguration is my worst."

He looked embarrassed and guilty for a moment when Sasha questioned the nickname, but his face quickly concentrated and he looked serious again. He had other nicknames for the dog; Durpy. Ballsy. Baldur-walder. Things that made perfect sense at the time but rather reduced the shepherd's intimidating abilities. And seemed odd to say with Sasha actually listening.

"Mostly, yes. It causes less of a mess if people  - well, mess up badly. It's stuff like...jars. Parchment. Books. And, well, apples. Defense is the only one they test you directly on, but I can' really say what's going to be on it." He flushed, and rubbed his temple; it having just occurred to him that he shouldn't have told Sasha much at all of what was going to be on the OWLs. "I'm not supposed to tell you anything about the OWLs, to be honest," he admitted. "So, ah...forget about the apples?" His smile was sheepish.

He removed the spell on Baldur. Thankfully the dog's reaction was more bemused than anything else; if he'd been some of the cats Tapendra kept, he'd have been halfway up a tree and accelerating.

"If you're worst at defense..." He started, then paused, pressing his lips together, head cocked as he looked at Sasha. His fingers found his beard and stroked as he considered the boy.

"Is it because you're scared?" He asked finally, crossing his arms loosely. "I know you've had...issues with control when you're in a tight situation. Do you panic?" He smiled quickly - reassuringly. "It's alright if you do."

"Really?"  Sasha wouldn't have guessed that Defense had been one of Professor Trishna's stronger classes.  Perhaps his own assumptions and prejudices were getting in the way but he wouldn't have guessed it of the Astronomy professor.  Not, of course, because he doubt the man's abilities.  He just tended to associate such classes with the ... well ... Professor Storm types of the world. 

There'd been just a hint of resignation mixed in with the question.  The line of logic wasn't hard to follow and, though he hoped he was wrong, it seemed to be leading to them practicing for the DADA exam together.  On each other.  Sasha on Professor Trishna. 

"All you've told me is what was on your OWLs," Sasha pointed out with a slightly shrug.  Any tension in the gesture was easily attributed to the looming practice.  "I'm sure it's nothing more than what my classmates have heard from their parents."  Other than his fellow muggleborns, of course.  Sasha recognized this case was slightly different since Professor Trishna was his professor and not his parent.  Still, he wasn't going to worry about it too much.  "But, maybe we should just focus on charms, you know?  I mean, I've got to review everything."  And, there were plenty of inanimate objects around them to practice color changing charms on. 

He could feel Professor Trishna studying and strategically diverted his gaze to the once-more-sable shepherd who was still sniffing at his color-changing coat.  Both shoulders hitched up in a dismissive shrug and he looked down at his wand.  "I wouldn't say I'm scared," he answered.  Of course not.  Boys weren't supposed to say they were scared.  Even if it was true. 

"I just - it's complicated."  Did he panic?  Not really.  At least, not when he was practicing with Terry or Professor Storm or anyone else of their skill.  Okay.  He did still panic a little when practicing with Terry but that had nothing to do with the defensive spells Sasha was casting.  "I just ... I'm alright practicing with Professor Storm.  But, I've heard rumors all the Ministry testers or, well, old.  And, I just ... I don't know."  He didn't want to say it but it was a pretty straightforward thought.  He had a much keener sense of what he could do now than he had going into exams last year.  "It's ... kind of like that saying?  A little knowledge is a dangerous thing?" 

He smiled, vaguely. "I was a motivated learner," he said, simply, his tone  implying, not unkindly, that that was all Sasha was getting.

"This is the Ministry we're talking about," Tapendra said, with a jesting smile. "I would be very surprised if they've changed them much in the last 16 years or so." He paused, glancing skyward as he did the math. "Err - 18, rather. It feels longer..."

He listened as Sasha tried to explain - knowing what the boy meant, and why he felt it - to a limited extent, of course. As far as Tapendra knew, it was simply the death of his parent's killer and his brief time in the 'care' of Kronos Malvivicus that would make the boy fear what magic - even seemingly harmless magic - could do.

"So is a lot," he added, almost involuntarily finishing the quote. "You're worried you'll accidently hurt someone?" It was barely a question; only the slight inflection of his voice hinted that he wasn't entirely sure in his assessment. He smiled anyway, placing one hand on Sasha's should for a moment, reassuringly.

"Don't worry about hurting me. I'm tougher than I look." He winked. "I married an Auror. You wouldn't believe what she used to do when she got mad." Boot to the head indeed!

"Shall we work with what you're comfortable with, then? Inanimate objects?" He glanced at the dog. "They're a good place to start anyway, Charms. They're not about raw power, they're about control and finesse..." Stroking his beard, he cocked his head. "You've been studying, I'm sure - what spells are you having particular difficulty with?"

"Or cast something I'm not supposed to.  Or panic and not cast anything at all.  Or,-"  Sasha took a deep breath and shrugged.  It was hard to explain the reasons for his uncertainty.  Especially when he didn't fully understand them himself - and he had the luxury of telling himself all the details. 

"Or just not being in control.  You know?  Even before everything with - you know - the stuff I cast this year, I was hesitant.  You know how when we're young, magic just kind of happened when we weren't in control?"  Sasha vaguely remembered touching on the subject when he was back in London but he couldn't remember how much he'd admitted.  Of course, back then, the prospects of going to the Ministry had been looming over his head; he barely remembered anything else that had happened.  But, now, that was behind him.  And, he wasn't nearly as nervous about being honest with Professor Trishna. 

Sasha slowly shrugged.  "I got in a lot trouble when all that abnormal stuff first started happening.  But, I figured out really quick how to stop it.  I just - if I didn't get emotional, that stuff wouldn't happen.  I don't know.  Transfiguration is precise.  And-" 

The bottom line was, Sasha had always struggled with the practical side of Defense Against the Dark Arts.  Even on those rare occasions his wand had worked for him, he'd always pulled back at the last moment.  Even as of the end of last year, he'd considered himself a staunch pacifist: far more willing to get hit by a hex than to risk deflecting it back on the caster.  And now, in the last seven months, he hadn't just been taught a whole new repertoire of magic he wasn't supposed to know but he'd also had more success practicing defensive magic under Kronos' tutelage than he'd ever had at school. 

It was an unsettling combination.

So, yes.  He was worried about not being in control.  He was worried he was going to accidentally hurt someone.  Again.  Sasha didn't doubt Professor Trishna could defend himself, especially if he knew what to expect.  But since he didn't know - and couldn't know - what Sasha had been taught, there was a very distinct chance Sasha could accidentally fire off something Professor Trishna was expecting.  And, wasn't prepared for. 

"Alright.  Inanimate objects," Sasha agreed.  "And, what about the Disillusionment charm.  I think they covered that one when I was gone.  And, my grown charm isn't that impressive."

Tapendra glanced at Sasha, and his hand at the the boy's shoulder again, fingers squeezing for a fleeting moment. "I know," he said, though Tapendra's control fears were much less direct than Sasha's, of course. But, at least based on what he knew, he understood the boy's fears - he thought, anyway. Driving more people away, either out of fear or disgust, was the last thing Sasha needed at the moment.

He glanced around, considering their surroundings. After a few moments, he pointed his wand; with a quick Accio, a moderate-sized stone flew to his outstretched hand. He winced slightly as it hit his palm, shifting it to his left hand and shaking his right to make the stinging stop.

"Can't get much more inanimate than a rock, yeah?" he said cheerfully, despite the sting and the minor pains from his wrist, setting it on the ground between them and stepping back. He blinked; picking up Jonas's turns of phrase was likely a bad sign. Bugger. He paused to pop his wrist, which seemed to take care of the pains.

"Let's start with the Growth Charm," he said. "Disillusionment is a bit more difficult." Especially since they where lacking anything that was clearly magical, currently. Maybe there was something in the barn...or he could just enchant something.

Shifting his wand back to his right hand, he considered for a moment. "Actus Amplus," he said, and after several seconds of growth the rock was knee-height. "It's more or less just imposing your will, when it comes to focussing," he explained. "With rocks and such you don't have to be delicate."

There'd been no attempt on the Ravenclaw's part, either consciously or subconsciously, to avoid or flinch away from the pat on the shoulder.  Even more so, Sasha found no reason to doubt the earnestness in Professor Trishna's voice.  He'd come to trust that the man, for whatever reasons he might have, sincerely had Sasha's best interests in mind.  And, though he had no specific information to back it up, Sasha did believe Professor Trishna somehow did know. 

"Can't get much more inanimate than a rock, yeah?"

"I don't know," Sasha said, his expression serious as he watched the rock with dubious uncertainty.  "Might be some muggle's stray pet."  His mouth twitched as Sasha resisted the urge to grin, a wash of color rising in his cheeks.  Professor Trishna was muggle-savvy enough to, perhaps, catch the reference.  If not, Sasha was going to look very foolish.  "Sorry," he offered sheepishly as he moved to stand behind Professor Trishna. 

"Actus Amplus," Sasha repeated, his wand still hung loosely by his side, as Professor Trishna enlarged the rock until it was a small boulder.  He stepped up towards the rock and nudged it with his foot even though he knew it would be as solid as it was when it was small even if it looked like it had been inflated.  "We could make a climbing wall," he commented offhandedly. 

He moved back to stand next to Professor Trishna and pointed his wand at the rock.  He hesitated and then lowered his wand.  "When I ... impose my will-"  He could picture those same words coming from Kronos.  "Am I - is my will the process or the end product?  Am I trying to make it grow or am I trying to make it be a certain bigger size?" 

Tapendra looked at Sasha with what might have been shock, almost not registering the boy's mumbled apology. Was that...a joke? And a bad pun, at that? From Sasha?

His lips curled and finally he let out a snort of laughter, slapping Sasha on the back in a friendly manner. "Always wondered where mine went to," he said with a laugh, smiling widely at Sasha before looking back to the rock. He couldn't help the sense of relief that the boy seemed more relaxed - if only for Sasha's sake. Maybe pressuring him to sing in the car hadn't been such a bad idea...

"Well," Tapendra started, then paused. "I think it can be both. I've always found it easier to to simply have it grow until it reaches the desired size..." He trailed off, folding his arms and stroking his beard again.

"How to put it? It's like...it's the difference between going 'You! You will be 5 feet in height or suffer my wrath!'" He did a very sudden switch as he imitated...someone. "And being more encouraging, kind of a 'Come on, you can do it' thing..." He trailed off again, awkwardly.

"Well, maybe that's not the clearest manner of explaining it, but I've always found it more effective to ask than to demand, if you catch my meaning." He ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, with Dark Magic you kind of have to demand, but for all other magics asking has worked fairly well for me." He smirked, slightly. "You try and get in harmony with nature and magic, you know? I'm not sure many Dark Wizards are good at that, anyway. You have to be a master of dark magic or it masters you...but it's hard to tell which won, with some of them."

He snorted, and shrugged. "Sorry, I was raised around some rather horrible people and it's showing. And I'm rambling." A quick smile. "Try what feels most comfortable for you, Sasha."

The color in the boy's cheeks deepened as Professor Trishna watched him.  "What?" he asked, as if he didn't know exactly what the professor's expression was about.  The blush deepened and Sasha shook his head, muttering a quiet "whatever," when Trishna clapped him on the back. 

Trishna's answer made sense even if it didn't really provide a concrete answer.  It was kind of one of those 'here's an answer that really just makes you find the answer yourself.'  And, Sasha couldn't help shake the distinct feeling that, while Trishna would chose coaching and encouraging the stone, Kronos would have taken the demanding the stone to be what he wanted route. 

Which did little to help Sasha decide which was the best route for him. 

"Ja.  I know."  The vague admission that Sasha knew what having been raised by dubious characters had come before Sasha had had the opportunity to realize the implications of the man's words.  Sasha opened his mouth, sorely tempted to ask but decided better of it and turned back to the boulder. 

"Alright," he said, lifting his wand.  While trying to envision willing the boulder to grow and expand, he gave the wand a flick.  "Actus Amplus!"  The stone creaked and quivered, the outer layer seemed to stretch briefly, like the skin on the far end of a cream-filled pastry when someone bit into it.  But, a moment later, the stone relaxed and grew still.  It would have taken precision scientific tools to determine if it had actually gained any mass or volume in the process. 

Glancing sheepishly at Professor Trishna, Sasha asked: "it's not likely to explode if I try again, right?"

The boulder rather dramatically did...nothing, though Tapendra was quietly impressed at the effect. His failures were either far more dismal or much more exciting - usually an explosion, or a rupture of some kind. Or some other bizarre effect that came from being interrupted halfway through casting, like the time his orange had grown three feet in diameter, turned periwinkle blue, and spin six times.

Then it had exploded. But at least it had grown. Even now, he clung to this point when teased about the incident. Somehow, that parable didn't seem likely to encourage Sasha.

Still. He cleared his throat, standing straight, and smiled encouragingly at Sasha, somehow managing to convey strictness at the same time. "No," he said, voice taking on a bizarre scratchy accent. "Try not! Do, or do not. There is no try!"

He looked sheepish the moment he said it, though a tell tale twitch of his lips betrayed he was being completely lax when it came to seriousness. And was possibly experiencing a minor rush of nerdiness.

"It'll be fine, I'm sure," he said. "Organic stuff explodes more often than rocks, anyway." Maybe that wasn't the best way to put it - "I mean, you know, apples and such. Rocks are harder to blow up, with this spell anyway..." He tugged at his collar.

"You just have to be sure, no matter which mental attitude you take," he said, pointing his own wand and reversing his own growth spell on the rock, watching as it shrank back to its original size. "Much to learn, you still have!"

An exploding boulder would likely be a very painful experience.  In fact, the thought of it promised enough pain that moving away from the ... throbbing rock probably wasn't a bad idea.  But, with a nervous glance towards Professor Trishna, it became clear the other man didn't seem to share his concerns so Sasha resisted the urge to back away. 

He was still eyeing the stone suspiciously when he heard Professor Trishna's response.  And voice.  His head pivoted slowly to look at Professor Trishna's sheepish grimace.  Of all the things he'd expected to hear at Hogwarts, academic encouragement á la Yoda was not one of them.  "I can help them,"  Sasha said, grinning as he looked back at the rock.  "I can feel the force." 

Sasha adjusted his grip on his wand as he watched the professor grow and then shrunk the rock.  "Are you about to tell me I need to clear my mind?"  Somehow, with the Star Wars references, there was a casualness to the exercise that hadn't been there before.  "Not that I'm really Jedi material."  Besides, Sasha doubted Jacoba really wanted to be put into the position of Princess Leia.

Sasha adjusted his wand in his hand once more and pointed it at the rock.  He'd try once more with the coaxing method before taking the route he suspected the wand preferred.  "Alright.  Actus Amplus!"  The stone creaked again, briefly, before finally stretching and growing.  It grew to about twice its size but almost as quickly shrunk back down. 

Sasha's response was welcome but utterly unexpected. Tapendra let out a bark if laughter, and as Sasha turned back to the rock, he hoisted himself up to sit on the fence's uppermost rail, his long legs hooked in the lower rails to keep himself in place. His wand still in one hand, he steadied himself with the other.

"Well, it'd help," Tapendra said, and suddenly snapped his fingers. "Damn - er, drat," he corrected himself quickly, "I should have saved that 'til you were trying to levitate something. It would have worked so much better." He sulked for a moment, in such a way it was clear he didn't really mean it.

"You'd make a fine Jedi, I think. They're basically monks, right?" He thought for a moment, then nodded. Monks. That sounded about right. Maybe more like Templars, though. Early ones, anyway, not the ones that got drunk all the time.

He slumped lightly as the rock shrank again, cocking his head slightly. "Try the other method, Sasha," he suggested, more seriously.