Dear Sophie,

It pains me so much that I wasn't able to come to Hogwarts to deliver the news of what happened. I wanted to- believe me, I felt like you and your family needed me, but you have to understand that with what has been going on in our world that I simply wasn't able. And I'm sorry for that- and I hope, whether you are angry or not, that you can forgive me.

Today is the first time I have had a chance to write to you- to write a letter that was what you deserved, and not a few quickly jotted lines between press conferences and meetings. I know that right now you aren't okay- and I want you to know that's alright. It's okay to not be okay, Soph. It's something I wish someone would have told me when I was younger- so I'm telling you now. You don't have to be strong, Sophie. You don't have to be strong, you don't have to be okay, you don't have to rush the grieving process and you don't have to put on a brave face for anyone. What you're going through is something I could never imagine- but I am here for you as much as I can be from a distance.

I don't know if you knew this or not- but I loved your mother very much. There was a time when I thought perhaps I would have been the one to marry her- but my job and my passions took me elsewhere. I always had a strong sense of wanderlust. But she has always been one of my closest friends- and was one of the sweetest, big hearted people I have ever met. And I see a lot of her in you- and that is something that you can always be proud of.

There aren't words that can make you feel better, and I know that. You've lost your mother- you have lost someone who means the world to you. And you're too young to have to go through this, for it to have happened the way that it did. If I could fix this with one letter, make it all better, I would- but you and I both know it isn't that easy. You're going to have to go through this, and it's not going to be fun. You are going to hurt, Sophie. You're going to hurt, you're going to be depressed, you'll try to deny it, and chances are that you're going to try to put it into a little box inside of yourself and never deal with it- but you can't do it that way. You don't have to face it right now- but if you never do, then your life will never be complete- and your mother always wanted the best for you, and I do too.

I know it's not the same as talking to your dad, your friends, or your family- but if you need me, owl me. It may take me a day or two to reply- especially as we work to bring these beasts to justice, to repair what we can, but I'll write as soon as I can. And if it's urgent- I'll write you right away.

It's not much, but I'm sending along some chocolates. I hear that all women love a good chocolate when they're heart is broken.

Love,
Uncle Griffon

Dearest Uncle-Fairy-Godfather-Griff,

I could lie and say I wasn't angry...and that I didn't feel a bit abandoned. The grownup part of me knows that you have a job to do; and that job doesn't afford you the luxury to run and save me whenever I might need you to. I don't want to lie though. I'm not angry anymore; and maybe angry isn't even the right word. I just felt so alone. I know I had Kia, and my sisters, and Johnny, and Nana...and Da once he sobered up. The thing about grief is that it swallowed each of us up differently. It's still swallowing us up differently. That's what I didn't understand when I was angry. I didn't understand that the pain of Mum's death wasn't just mine, or Da's, or my siblings. Her death wasn't the only death, our family wasn't the only family that needed answers - and that's what you do. You are the person who finds answers to questions people wish we didn't have to ask. I realized even though I was very very lonely and very very confused...

I don't even know where I was going with that thought. I get that way now; I'll think I know exactly what I'm trying to say and then it leads somewhere else and I have no idea how to finish it. I think...mostly what I wanted to say is that I understand things better now. I understand that if you'd had your druthers you'd have been with us -  or more to the point Mum wouldn't be gone at all. The prayer flags you brought me from Tibet hang from my ceiling at home. There was something very comforting about the colors dancing over my head before sleep those few nights I was home. Ruby and Emily would bicker if they knew - but I have the Om Mani prayer beads you gave Mum; the Onyx ones from that same trip. There is something comforting and grounding in carrying them in the pocket of my uniform. I suppose it sounds silly but it feels as though I have both of you with me when my fingers brush over the worn beads.

You're right you know; about it not being like talking to other people... somehow it's easier. You have no expectation of how I should be feeling or how you need me to be feeling. See how grown up I sound? I want to be strong and do the right things; I want to live in a way that she'll always be proud. I don't know what that way is anymore. I see Ruby backing out and away from SAWS, from the Ministry. I know everyone thinks I'm so selfish and I don't see the way other people are changing; but I do. This is where it gets hard; the things that were so comforting once, that I believed so strong in not a month ago...

I have bad dreams. I have dreams about the night she died - and now suddenly I don't know what I can believe in anymore. I know what we're trying to do with SAWS, I know it would make her proud. I just feel like there is this emptiness that won't ever go away, emptiness and anger. I don't want to be angry all the time Uncle Griff. It isn't me, it isn't who I am. It isn't fair to ask; but I need you to give me something to hold onto - anything.

I can't ask anyone else...they're all drowning too.

Write soon.

Love,
Sophie

Dear Sophie,

I'm sad to hear that Ruby is pulling away from all of that. It's natural- to be confused about the cause. And even though you've been personally affected by this tragedy, it's important to remember that not all werewolves are bad. Accidents, unfortunately, are always going to happen. Your mother would be proud of your work- and I don't think she would want either of you to stop fighting for what is right because of her death. It's going to be hard- and taking some time away to think on it is okay- but don't give up on a good cause.

That's what brought your mother and I together, did you know that? I've always been passionate about animal rights. I grew up on a farm in Wales- a muggle farm. And I've always loved animals. I came to Hogwarts and I was shocked at how the wizarding world treated animals and intelligent beings- whether classified as beings or not. It was so... backward. And I decided that I wanted to do something to change that. When I was at the ministry, before I left for Tibet, I met your mother. And she was just as passionate as I was. I really think I loved her the moment I met her.

We were so inseparable, Sophie. Joined at the hip. We had all the same beliefs, we got along, and she was so charismatic, charming, and beautiful. She challenged me. I loved that. She challenged me to not only be a better man, but to stick to my guns- and to know, understand, and be able to articulate exactly what I felt and why I felt it. She helped give me the skills that I needed to be where I am today. I was always smart, but I was never able to express myself as eloquently as your mother, and she tried to teach me.

I've never seen someone with such a beautiful smile or another woman with the ability to love as much as she did. But things just didn't work for us. I got offered the job in Tibet- and I wanted to be able to go and to help the yeti. They're misunderstood, really, and being able to protect them meant the world to me. I needed to go on that adventure. I felt like I couldn't tell them no. It was an amazing chance, a great opportunity.

It really did break my heart to go, to leave her. But we both knew that no matter how much I loved her, that I would go. I did ask her to come with me- but she couldn't. And I shouldn't have expected her to leave her life behind again, it was hard enough to come to London to begin with.

That- and there was your father, of course. That's a big part of why he never seemed too fond of me. My trying to whisk his love and new born off to Tibet to be with me didn't set very well with him. I can't say that I blame him. I can't believe now, looking back on it, that, I tried to convince her that it was a brilliant idea.

Your dad is a good man- but he was always jealous of our relationship. Your mother and I had something that they never did. Not romantically- I don't mean to say that. But there were just things that I could give her that Duncaan couldn't. It didn't help that when they fought, she came to me, and that I was always putting my nose in their business. But I've always been a man who wanted to protect those I cared about.

Look at me- going on for so long. What a waste of parchment. What I'm trying to say, Sophie- is that I always have and always will love your mother. And you and your siblings and Kia are the closest things to children that I will ever have. I'm too old to go about having them now, and I've no interest in getting married or settling down. And I think, more than anyone else (your father included) that I knew what your mother wanted for you, Sophie. And she would have wanted for you to do what is right. There are some people, beings, creatures that cannot fight for themselves, and that's what she would have wanted for you to do. She would have wanted you to have the courage and the bravery to stand up for what's right- and that's exactly why you're in Gryffindor.

I love you, Sophie. And I'm sorry my letter is a jumble of thoughts and memories. Let me know how you are doing.

Love,
Uncle Griffon

Dearest Uncle Griff,

It took me a long time to process your last letter. It's very strange for me to think of my mother outside...the context of being my mother. It's strange to think of her having a life separate from us, from loving anyone but Da, I guess that's how she was though. She had a way of making people believe they were the most important, the only important thing in her life. If she could make each one of my siblings feel like they had a special bond with her it shouldn't surprise me she made other people feel that way too. I guess I wanted to hold onto my simple world view that... you can love one boy for the rest of your life and he can be all things to you. It sounds silly when I write it down;' or like I'm not aware of Pop's faults. I guess I always assumed she just shouldered the package deal.

I think you knew she wouldn't go with you though. I think you wouldn't have loved her so much if she were the kind of woman who could do that. I know that probably sounds upside down... but I think you'd have been disappointed in her if she found it so easy to leave us. I mean maybe not at first... but in the long run.

I miss her more every single day. I worry that I'm forgetting. I don't want to forget anything, but the details are so sketchy. It's the little things I frantically try to recall - the way she looked when she cooked dinner or just how she held her face when she was in between expressions. How did she look when she wasn't smiling or frowning; when her features just settled... and I can't picture it. I can't picture the look that was hers that isn't captured on film. I worry it starts with little things and then grows to important things - like the sound of her voice in the morning when she'd wake up the house, or the exact tone of her big laugh.

I can't say these thing to people because they look at me very strangely. Most of them don't have to worry about forgetting...

It really is the worst way to feel alone, alone and forgetting.

- Sophie

Dear Soph,

I don't think you're forgetting as much as you seem to think that you are. Just because you can't recall it on command doesn't mean it's gone. One day you will be in the kitchen and it will just hit you. Or you'll hear something that reminds you of her, maybe a smell- and it will all flood back to you. That's just how memories work- trust me, I know that. It's not as simple as just trying to pull it out of your mind.

You won't forget. I don't think it's possible to forget somebody like your mother. Find comfort in that- because I'm definitely old enough to know that it is true.

And you are right, Sophie. I think that had she come along that I would have been disappointed. Because that's not the kind of woman that I would love. I would need someone who was more true to their convictions. But your mom was pretty much perfect in everyway. And trust me- there is nothing wrong with loving more than one person. You can love people in a lot of different ways but equally strong.

How was April Fool's Day over at Hogwarts? I remember when I was there it was a huge holiday and people had tons of fun. Did you play any jokes? Get any good laughs? I hope it managed to cheer you up in these dark times- I know that I definitely needed the laughs that I got.

Tell me all about it!

Love,
Uncle Griff

(P.S. Somebody has a birthday coming up soon...)

Uncle Griff,

Things are getting hectic, they were trying to cram as much knowledge as they could into our brains before they unleashed us all for the Holiday. I don't particularly understand why - they're just going to have to teach half of it all over again because brains checked out way before bodies did.

Having your owl waiting for me when I got home was a nice touch. Especially because being home in and of itself is so...surreal.

It all feels so empty. Ruby has locked herself away in her room and Emily is doing the same. Only Nan and I seem to haunt this house we used to call home. The dogs were more overjoyed than usual to see me, which makes me wonder how much time Pop is spending stowed away in the recording studio trying to avoid life. It feels like he's forgotten how to function without her I don't fault him for it... well, actually, I maybe resent him a little. I feel like shaking them all and screaming that we're still here. She wouldn't want us to live this way, in a perpetual state of agony over missing her.

Maybe if you're not too busy with work I could come into the city and see you? I know you're working really hard right now and there are still so many questions that need answering - I just miss you. Being home makes me miss you more than when I'm at school; I guess it's because there is more of you here. When I see the dragon puppets from Tibet or the prayer flags - they're just reminders that you existed in this world, in this place I call home. I must sound crazy.

I worry that I've completely lost myself in this whole mess. I don't think about boys and giggling anymore, I think of loss and the indelible scars left in it's wake... see; even that? What fifteen year old uses words like indelible? Well besides that stuffy know-it-all Sasha Schlagenweit.

Change of subject, before I make myself nutters.

We actually had our April Fools Day come early by eleven whole days. The first years managed to somehow spike breakfast and spent the rest of the day bursting into song (the dancing part was totally personal preference). It's a good trick; I think after that everyone felt like it would be pointless to try anything too outlandish because it would just pale in comparison. There were the little pranks between friends, I think someone had left over Billywig laced candies from Valentine's Day and passed them around. Next year I'll throw myself back into the prank wars and make you proud.

And yes, someone does have a birthday coming up. She likes chocolate, also things that sparkle. Alternately she would take bribes in the form of cash or Dragon Refuge visits. Alternately Alternately she would just like to see her fairy Godfather over the Holiday. You should make some of these things happen. I hear the someone with a birthday pays in hugs and kisses, and also letter writing.

Love You To The Moon, Mister Fairy Godfather  Manley.
- Sophie

Dear Sophie,

I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you. Your last letter came just before the full moon, and you know how busy the moon is for my department- especially after last month. We had more than a few extra werewolves and suspected werewolves on hand, and the paper work was never ending. I'm sure you can understand.

And I'm sorry that life at home is so hard for you right now. And I'm sorry that I wasn't able to have you over during your Spring break. But I'll make up for it this summer. You'll see why when you get your birthday gift. Suffice it to say you should pick out two or three friends you'd like to take on an exciting adventure, and make sure that you keep some time at the end of June open. You'll find out more later!

Keep your chin up, Sophie. This summer will fly by and then you'll be back at Hogwarts. I know you're still grieving- you will for a while- but your mother would hate to see you waste your summer. She'd rather you have fun and keep living the life she can't have anymore.

Love,
Uncle Griff

Uncle Griff,
With each passing day life gets a little easier. I spent a lot of time brewing with Nana and in general keeping busy over the break. When we came back I sort of threw myself into school work (s'why it took me so long to write back). I've been doing exceptionally well in Potions this year, I think it's because of Professor Vaillancourt is such a brilliant teacher. She's trčs French, and posh, and absolutely gorgeous. She also happens to be extremely skilled at all things Potion-y. She's even teaching me how to make perfume! I know it seems like a silly thing, but I need hobbies Uncle Griff or I will go nutters. I'm finding I'm less scared of being alone than I used to be. I think this might be a point of necessity because Ruby and Emily are graduating. I will miss them but also a part of me is glad. It will be nice to be the only Flickwick wandering around campus after five years of not having my own breathing room.

I'm also doing really well in CoMC; but that shouldn't surprise you. I really like Professor Ó Móráin; I know he tends to favor Slytherins over other houses - but that's just because sometimes other houses are full of idiots. He's very smart but I wish we could have you to guest lecture. I miss our talks about the work you did in Tibet. Oh! I don't think I ever told you; but I won a mini enchanted yeti replica! This last winter we went "Yeti Hunting" even though it was really just Lou in her awful ugly furry boots. People really thought the professor would have shipped a Yeti to Hogwarts and let it loose in the forest! Sometimes I forget that not everyone has a Godfather who deals in facts rather than fear mongering to control the masses. I know it sounds really silly but it's times like that; and when I see you mentioned in books I'm reading to bush up on all my Magical Creatures that I am really...proud that you're my Godfather.

I just want you to know that even when I'm hurting or I seem like I'm not aware of anything but what's happening right in front of me I still know how lucky I am to have you in my life.

This surprise trip sounds very exciting and I can't wait. Though I'd go to Basingstoke and sit on my bum for the whole of two days just to get to spend a little time with you.

All might not be right with the world...but I am learning to make peace.

Love You To The Moon & Back!
- Sophie

Dear Sophie,

This letter ought to reach you on your birthday! Or the day before- but not after (if the owl is worth a damn!).

I am thrilled to hear that your break went well- and I'm still feeling awful that I didn't get to see you. But I'll make it up to you this summer! Your present is coming along with the owl- and as you can see, I've adopted a dragon on a reserve in your name! It's  a baby, and you get to name it! All you have to do is fill out the little survey that I've sent along and owl it back to the reserve, and you'll be like a little dragon mama. And- this summer- I have plans to take you, and two or three of your friends on a grand trip to the reserve. Some shopping in a foreign wizard town, and a whole safari to see some magical creatures! A late addition to your birthday gift. I hope you like it!

You'll also have a cake coming from Magicakery. It's a new bakery in Hogsmeade- and I put in an order. It should come along- wonderfully fresh- for your birthday. Hopefully the cake turns out well. I asked for it to be delicious, sparkly, and wonderfully girly and perfect for a sweet sixteen party!

And finally, I've sent along a small coin purse. Your standard birthday money! Hopefully you'll get another Hogsmeade weekend so that you can spend it and buy yourself something nice.

Write me back! Tell me how your birthday went and whether or not you liked your presents!

Love,
Uncle Griffon

To My Darling Uncle-Fairy-Godfather,
I don't even know where to start. The last few days have been a flurry of activity; so I will start with how absolutely much I adored my present. I was so dreading this birthday, this first birthday without her and how different it would all be. A part of me wanted to just sleep all day and not even acknowledge that I was, at long last, sixteen. To be perfectly honest it doesn't feel any different than fifteen did. I don't know why I always expect to wake up feeling more...something on my birthday - but I always have and every year I'm always a little disappointed that I wake up and I'm still just me.

Your owl was the perfect start to what would be a day full of highs and lows. Lessons were stressful; it was a big review in CoMC and even though I've been doing really well Professor Ó Móráin gave us this lecture about how important the O.W.L.'s are and I just felt myself panicking. I kept thinking for the rest of the day some how I am going to fail and screw up my entire life and what I want to do; even though I'm not totally sure what I want to do after I graduate. Even knowing that the tests were looming in the distance it felt like I had so much more time to decide what I want to do with myself; and then it was like I realized every choice I'm making is going to shape what I'm able to do later. The future was always some far off idea and now I feel like I'm being held at wand point.

Of course that isn't the best way to spend a birthday and my friends made sure, in the end, it wasn't how I spent mine. So... right, the chain of events basically went: me walking into the common room (which had been decorated extensively with almost but not quite stalkerish level of my face on everything), making a small speech about how blown away I was, then cake (there was so much cake!) then I had to go on a scavenger hunt for my presents. It was really amazing and thoughtful and... it just reminded me that I'm not alone. It sounds bad when I write it like that; like I haven't been aware they were there this whole time - but I think I got caught up in feeling lost, in feeling the things that I'd lost so much that it took seeing everyone en masse to realize they were all still there.

It was a good way to end the night.

Now we're really reviewing for O.W.L.'s and I'm trying to soak up everything I thought I already knew but am now completely unsure of. I cannot wait for summer and seeing you. Give Dotty an extra hug for me! I'm off to study study study.

Love You To The Moon & Back!
- Sophie