A Collaboration of Two Minds

Quincy drummed her fingertips nervously against the table top, eyeing the tea-pot with apprehension.

“ ‘Ow bloody amazin’ am I?!” The loud voice bounced off the walls in the small apartment and Quincy jumped slightly. “I ’ope yer on the bed waitin’ t’congratulate yer man!” The creaky floorboards resonated beneath the boisterous footsteps of the practically Quidditch pro, shuddering beneath his greatness.

The young witch’s brows furrowed in confusion at the excited outburst from her layabout boyfriend. With barely a moment’s pause, the kitchen door was mercilessly thrown open to reveal the young shaggy haired blond wizard. The large grin twisting the lad’s features very quickly morphed into a confused frown as bright green eyes fell on the green robed witch perched on a wooden seat supping at a china teacup. The robes were certainly too much material for a decent congratulatory greeting.

“Tea?” The prim voice broke the perplexed silence now inhabiting the small kitchen. As though to further promote her offerings, she pushed the teapot in his direction.

“Sex?” As though to promote his offerings, the outstanding specimen of wizard hood began to unbutton his shirt. Quincy raised an unamused eyebrow with her lips pursed slightly, though she couldn’t help but let her eyes wander momentarily to where his hands were beginning their masterful finger work.

“Tea…after sex?” The wizard hoped the cheeky grin now playing on his lips would aid him in his quest to fulfilment. Quincy’s eyes narrowed as he pushed his luck even more. Cautiously, the man manoeuvred around the table, stepping behind his impatient looking girlfriend. Slowly he leant down to her ear to offer his words barely above a whisper. “With sex?” His lips brushed gently against her ear lobe, and she pulled away instinctively.

“Edward!”

“Quincy?”

She twisted her body slightly so that she could actually see him. She always worried about Eddie being in places where she couldn’t see him, in particular when he was standing behind her. That could never be good.

“Eddie, there’s something we need to tal-” A large finger was placed over her lips to silence her, and her eyes widened as he leaned closer to her face.

“You babe, are lucky enough to be co-’abitin’ with the Canon’s new seeker, so why aren’t you in that there room ready to show me ‘ow lucky you know y’are?” The finger was pulled away from her lips, allowing the thumb to be jabbed in the direction of the small but well-used bedroom.

“You got the position?”  A broad smile started to spread across her face. Finally - finally - the useless Yorkshire man had got himself a job. A high-profile, well-paid job at that! She clapped her hands together with elation and went to stand up and congratulate her clever boyfriend.

“Almost.” He held his finger in mid-air to stop Quincy before she began to mentally refurnish their flat and plan her new wardrobe. The grin that had been so bright on her face fell instantly as she realised Ed had - as per usual - been leading her to believe one thing, then making her look like a fool.

“Almost?!” she hissed. “Almost isn’t going to pay the bills, Edward!” She stood up and threw her hands in the air in frustration. A hand brushed nervously through Ed’s hair as he stepped back from the viperous female that looked ready to chew him up and spit him back out, stew him and serve him for dinner.

“ ‘S’good ent it? I’ve got a try-out - what more do ye want from me, woman?!” He shook his head incredulously. “So bloody ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful?” She spat back at him. If she was a cat, the fur on her back would be standing on end. “Is it ungrateful of me to think that my boyfriend is going to support me when I’m pregnant with his child?”

“Yes!” The young wizard retorted instantly before the final words hit him in the chest as if Quincy had just tried gnome throwing and used him as the unlucky target. Ed blinked. “What?” She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, a defeated expression befalling her face.

“I’m pregnant, Eddie.” She leaned against the worktop in the small kitchen and folded her arms over her chest. Ed frowned and shook his head. Green eyes slowly moved down from Quincy’s face to the stomach covered by the snot green robes. Bushy eyebrows furrowed and a hand reached up to his neck before dropping down instantly.

“A babby?”

Quincy rolled her eyes. “No, Eddie. A flobberworm. I’m giving birth to your flobberworm!” She made a noise of annoyance. “Don’t ask such stupid questions!”

“It’s not a stupid question woman!” The northern brogue rose in volume as Ed twisted on his heel and paced the couple of steps to the other side of the now very claustrophobic kitchen, Quincy‘s eyes following his every movement. “Is this a bloody joke? Are ye bloody takin’ the piss outta me? A bloody flobberworm? Don’t bloody joke with me woman! A bloody babby? Yer havin’ a bloody babby?”

She let out a small huff. “Well, I assume it probably will be bloody when it comes out, yes. A bloody baby.” The pedantic nature came out as she couldn’t help but correct his disgraceful use of the English language. The pointed correction of his vocabulary sent a wave of fury through the young wizard and he slammed his fist into the work surface.

“This ent’ a bloody joke, Quincy! How in Merlin’s…? No. No ye’re jokin’. Ye can’t be bloody pregnant! We ‘ent soddin’ married!”

Quincy let out a laugh of disbelief. “Oh yes, because sperm and eggs really take note of whether a certificate of marriage has been signed! Grow up, Edward!”

“Maybe I don’t wanna’ grow up!”

“Then maybe you should leave. Goodness knows I haven’t got the patience to look after a baby and a big kid.” Ed forced himself to take a deep breath and looked at his girlfriend. His beautiful, posh, mildly pretentious girlfriend.

Quincy shrugged her shoulders, “I’m not going to force you to stay. Don’t feel like you have to just because you’re fathering a child. It takes a lot more than genetics to be a dad, and if you don’t think you can do that, I won’t stop you from going.”

Ed blinked. “Hang on a sec!” Shaggy hair bounced above his head as he shook his head. “No I ‘ent goin’ nowhere, luv. If this is my baby…” He paused and took a deep breath, watching his girlfriend carefully as her nostrils flared like a furious dragon ready to attack. “If this is my baby I gotta make sure he don’t grow up stubborn like his mam.”

Was he doubting the paternity of their child? That would be the final straw. Then he cracked a joke about Quincy’s stubbornness and she pursed her lips again, though her features softened considerably. “Good luck with that.”

“So we need to set a date?” Ed suggested as he once more manoeuvred the tiny kitchen table and dropped himself into a wooden chair. Quincy blinked, slightly confused. Did he really not know how this worked?

“Eddie, I don’t think that’s something we decide. I’m pretty sure it’ll just happen when it happens--” Confusion flooded Ed’s pale, slightly stubbly features before they morphed into mild disgust as she continued. “I mean, I’ve never had one before, but from what I’ve heard, I’ll feel like I’ve wet myself then I’ll get horrific pains, and that’s when we’ll know that it’s happening. We’ll get an estimated date, of course.” Was Quincy suddenly going to become incontinent? Ed made a mental note not to share a bed with her if that was the case! She could have the settee in the living room.

“Ye can’t piss yerself at our wedding, lass. I‘m sure they‘ll have bogs there.” Quincy mirrored Ed’s confusion. Wedding?! Her mouth opened, then closed again. Words were failing her, which was something that had never happened. They were abandoning her at her time of need. Finally, she swallowed.

“We’re not getting married.”

“You’re rejecting my offer?”

“That was a proposal?”

“Well it weren’t a threat.”

“Oh…” she paused. “Well you have to do it properly.” The stubbornness in her voice was evident. There was no way Eddie was going to propose to her by telling her that there would be toilets at their wedding. “I want a ring. A nice ring.” she began ticking things off on her fingers as Eddie’s jaw dropped more with every demanding syllable. “And a romantic proposal. Can you do romantic, Eddie? Down on one knee - the works. You could try a nice meal, or flowers. Or some nice jewellery to match my ring.”

Before he could stop himself, Ed laughed. He reached across the table to the teapot and began to pour into the mug. “A meal in a castle with a violinist playing just for us and doves flyin’ around our heads, tweetin’ along to the music?” The laughing continued. He was mocking her, and she didn’t like it. She gave the famous Quincy St.James pout. “What’s wrong with a pot of tea, you, me and the prospect of officially becoming’ a Pratt?”

“What’s right with the prospect of--” She was cut short as Ed carried on with his mocking.

“That not enough for the St James princess, luv?” He knew how much she hated him referring to her as a princess, yet he still did it. She saw red and whipped her wand out of her pocket, waving it at him hissing a short, staccato incantation.

The bright spark shot from the wand and hit Ed’s chest. Before he knew it a force grabbed his ankles and yanked them up into the air as Quincy watched on with delight, a smirk playing on her lips. A yell escaped his vocal chords as he was flung upside down and left hanging by his ankles, staring at the angry, topsy-turvy face of his future, but not yet, fiancée. “What did I say?”

Quincy left the room.