-- Razzy's Totally "Ironic" Outfit -- -- Around Noon (so basically the time Erin first wakes up) -- -- The music I was listening to I kid you not --

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It seemed just a tad crazy to Razzy how Erin Harper had him doing the silliest things and most effeminate gestures, without even asking. The usually collected, coldhearted beast was holding doors, skipping meals, blowing off the twins, and even missing a few classes here and there (despite the fact he promised he would stop doing that) just because Erin made him feel careless. If it had been anyone else, those small gestures would have gotten him laid by now. Of course, he was chasing after Erin Harper. He knew better than that. He was simply used to the boy paying him no mind. Razzy felt comfortable enough with Erin to not need his needs fulfilled.

Or, perhaps, Erin Harper simply fed Razzy's sexual frustration. Razzy hid this fact with a plastic smile. Do I want to ravish Erin every time he threatens to punch me? Heaven's no! That's absurd!

So, to no surprise, Razzy and Erin set up a day where they met up in their own, personal, empty classroom and simply... Talked. That was all, they just talked. Razzy enjoyed talking with Erin, actually. It didn't pass time like a good, heated snogging, but it still made Razzy happy. Razzy had never told anyone about their weekly meetup. It was a bit embarrassing, almost like he was whipped and trying to hide that fact from his friends. Well, Erin was Razzy's only "friend", really, but that was beside the point. Razzy and Erin had a mutual, silent agreement to not talk about their meetups.

It put a sickly smirk on Razzy's face whenever he pulled on his pants and glanced at himself in the mirror every Sunday morning... The thought of his lips being locked between Erin's. He saw Erin's friends, and sometimes his family, in the hallways. They would sometimes give him a glance of acknowledgement, something subtle to show that they knew Razzy was the dominant being in Erin's life. Arrogance would begin to form in Razzy's expression, and a thought would form in his head. No one knows what I know. A part of Razzy wanted to see what Erin's ickle older brother, the librarian, would say if he found out Erin wasn't so pure as they thought. But Razzy knew better than that. While he would give everything to be demonized by the Morgans (or demonized by any family, really... "demon" was just a word Razzy wanted to be associated with) he knew Erin would destroy his very existence if he uttered a word.

But it was still a very interesting thought.

But every Sunday morning, around eleven o' clock, Razzy would rise from his nonexistent sleep and get ready to meet Erin at their usual spot. A very emasculate idea, but it was all vaguely Razzy's fault for beginning the weekly visits in the first place. It wasn't as if the boys didn't see each other enough during school hours (in fact, Razzy had the pleasure of sitting next to Erin in a few classes), they simply set a day for each other. If Erin wanted to claim it was Razzy's idea, that was fine with him. He knew Erin wouldn't want people thinking he was a "nancy boy."

Razzy arrived first, as always, and sat back in his usual seat, feet kicked up onto the desk. He lit a cigarette, despite the fact he had been trying to cut down on his nicotine habit. He didn't want to blame Erin for his routine cigarette, but it was a bit of the Slytherin's fault. Mainly due from the stress and the over-excitement Razzy always felt, he needed a way to calm himself down. If it weren't for the small cancer sticks, Razzy would probably be deathly ill from how tormented he felt by his friend. Of course, that's an exaggeration, but Razzy was rather melodramatic at some points.

One hand playing with his thick locks, the other holding his stress reliever, Razzy waited for Erin to come bursting through the door. They never set a specific time they had to be there, but Razzy generally estimated that eleven to twelve was a good time to settle down in the room. He stretched his back, rubbed his baggy eyes, and then went perfectly still. Almost like he was a tape stuck on pause. Razzy could sit still for hours. Erin could come bursting in twelve hours later, and Razzy would hardly notice that much time went by. This was simply how Razzy passed time when he was alone. He did nothing.

Erin came loping in the door not long after Razzy had settled down, flinging himself bodily into a desk facing Razzy's and dropping his school bag at its side... "his" desk, the one he always sat in. He hadn't been awake for long, that much was clear from his half-mast eyes, mussed hair, and the lack of verbal greeting, but he leaned forward to steal the cigarette from Razzy's lips and put it to his own before smiling at the Hufflepuff.

It was practically a routine by now, one Erin found himself actually enjoying. They'd set aside Sunday mornings to meet with each other, which was a strange and exciting idea all on its own - Erin had never had a friend close enough or long enough to hang out with. The idea of spending time with someone, of planning it purposefully, was sort of cool. It was the first thing he did in the day, the reason he got up at all. All he'd do was throw on some clothing, brush his teeth, maybe flatten his hair with a careless hand or grab some food from the Great Hall or the kitchens on the way up from the dungeons, and go. It showed - it always took Erin a while to break from his morning daze, so for the first few minutes he wouldn't speak much, and Razzy would do all the talking for him until he felt awake enough to join in - but he thought maybe Razzy liked that he was the reason Erin got up on Sunday mornings.

Razzy was a can of worms all on his own. Erin tried not to think too hard about their arrangement since the last confrontation in February - their second kiss - 'cause it just snarled his head up in what-ifs and vaguely panicked (and useless) mental declarations of heterosexuality. Still, he was softening. He didn't push Razzy away now when the other boy touched him, he didn't back away, he didn't back down. He watched Fergie write letters to Schlagenweit, and wondered if it'd be so bad. He'd let Razzy kiss him another time or two, and then later when he was alone very carefully went over the memories like he was deciphering a puzzle. It was a cruel thing to do, but it was a thoughtless sort of cruelty; if it ever occurred to Erin that he'd let Razzy go to far to push him away now, he only bit his lips and didn't think about it.

But no matter the confusion Razzy inspired in him. There was only one important thing about their friendship, the thing that made Erin roll out of bed and stumble upstairs to their designated empty classroom, or relax against Razzy's hand on his shoulder in the hallway instead of shrugging him off: Razzy made Erin happy, and that was a situation so rare that he was loathe to give it up.

Now Erin reached over, cigarette still dangling from his lips, and rummaged in his bag for a napkin-wrapped bundled. He tossed Razzy a roll, still warm, and passed the cig back to the other boy so he could eat one too. Cigarettes and rolls. Erin eyed it for a minute, thought what the hell, and took a bite anyways. As he was chewing he tossed Razzy a thermos, too - it hadn't taken him long to realize Razzy's coffee addiction.

(This is Razzy's 69th post. I just wanted to point that out.)

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Erin came storming in, tired and quiet as usual. He sat across from the Hufflepuff, throwing everything down quickly and getting settled in. Erin generally looked a bit dazed and sleepy every time they met up, but it was a cute kind of tiredness. Whenever he would speak, he'd have that crinkly drone in his voice from a night of rest, and it made Razzy's stomach twist with happiness. He was told on occasion how girls loved it when guys first woke up solely because of that voice. He never really understood until he met Erin. Razzy's lips curved into an sweet smile before Erin snatched his cigarette from between them. One of Razzy's trimmed eyebrows rose with amusement, and he continued to smile his genuine smile.

The Slytherin grinned innocently at Razzy, and he decided to just let him keep the cigarette. He needed to cut back, anyways. And Erin was just so much more appealing with smoke drifting around his thin cheeks.

"Good morning, starshine," he told Erin, pulling his long legs off his desk and leaning in towards his new company. Despite the heartache and the sickness Erin had forced upon the grinning Hufflepuff, Razzy managed to ignore their major relationship flaws. It all seemed trivial and pointless whenever Erin wasn't gracing the boy's presence, but every time he saw the Welshman's face, the urge to vomit and convulse subsided deep within him once more. Only to return when he was alone and doubting himself, of course. Sometimes Razzy believed the last thing he really needed was to be wrapped around Erin's pale finger. He was always diagnosing himself with sicknesses and disorders. Being around Erin spawned a few of the items on Razzy's "Things-That-Are-Wrong-With-Me" list. Dementia, for instance, was a very probable issue of Razzy's. Well, possibly.

Erin pulled out a napkin of food from his bag and Razzy bit his bottom lip. It was just simple things that made Razzy realize how normal and sane Erin truly made him. Before Erin came along, Razzy was hardly ever nice to anyone. He never had the pleasure of being someone's friend. He had never been the reason for someone to get up earlier than usual and drag themselves out of bed. When he was sitting in that room with Erin, he forgot about the doctors feeding him information on his "possible disorder;" he forgot about his parents shunning him consistently; he forgot about how much he loathed his peers; he forgot about the constant need for human flesh and affection. Somehow, Erin managed to make Razzy feel like a regular guy "hanging out" with his regular friend.

Well, once he got past undressing Erin with his eyes, of course. That always took a few minutes to settle down.

Erin gave Razzy a roll and passed back the dwindling cigarette that had once been between the Slytherin's lips. Razzy placed the stick between his own, red lips and took a moment to consider the roll. Razzy wasn't very fond of eating food, especially if the food in question wasn't potatoes, ice cream, or his mother's homemade cooking. It was one of Razzy's own very bad habits, and it was one of the reasons Razzy managed to be so skinny throughout his school career. But a roll was a roll, and there wasn't much to it. He set it to the side for now, keeping it in consideration.

To say Razzy had a coffee addiction, would be an understatement. Razzy caught the thermos with perfect grace (he was a chaser after all,) and twisted the cap off. He didn't even need to ask the Slytherin what was in it. He simply could smell the musk of coffee beans radiating from the boy's bag as soon as he walked in. Coffee was all Razzy ever drank anymore.

He sipped the hot beverage before setting it down and pressing the remnants of his cigarette out onto the desk. A thankful smirk formed on his face and he looked Erin up and down, "You know me far too well, amor de ma vie." His face fell blank, as usual, and he pushed his shaggy hair out of his face (he wasn't sure if he needed a haircut, but he didn't mind having long locks). Razzy's petname for Erin had grown into a simple slip of the tongue. He said it without realizing it. He meant it, but he didn't know if Erin understood him. It became almost lifeless, hardly a taunt, hardly a cry for love. It was something that started out as a joke, to mess with the boy, and it became Razzy's actual thoughts.

Love was stupid. It made a mess of things. Razzy was simply stuck in between wanting Erin to love him and wanting to be loveless. It was confusing. He usually chose not to think about love at all.

"You know, I saw a lesbian couple in the hallway the other day," Razzy began to distract himself, "Or did I tell you this already?" A sly grin formed on his lips and he took another sip of his coffee. "Tongues and everything. I swear. You don't see that around Hogwarts that much, now do you? All the homosexual couples are probably just kissing in vacant rooms and whatnot," Razzy paused, realizing how true that really was, especially when it came to Razzy making a move on Erin,

"Lesbians are selfish creatures," Razzy added, quickly, without missing a beat. He wasn't insinuating anything, since he didn't believe in public displays of affection, but he was afraid Erin would think otherwise. Lesbianism was a good topic to cover up any awkward moment, anyhow. Girls kissing girls? Even Razzy could appreciate such a novelty.

"You know, I saw a lesbian couple in the hallway the other day... or did I tell you this already?"

Erin's eyes narrowed in the face of Razzy's grin; he flapped an impatient hand, go on, go on, once, twice, then stuttered to a stop.

It was a good thought, one that Razzy nearly ruined with his reminder of homosexual couples kissing in vacant rooms. Too close to them - Razzy saved it quickly, although Erin had no idea what selfishness had to do with kissing in the hallway. But he was still sleep-sluggish and easy to lead; he focused on what Razzy obviously wanted him to with no real difficulty.

"With tongue you say?" Erin laid down his roll to give this mental image the long, careful thought it deserved. He let out an appreciative sigh, slow and sweet, that turned into a jaw-cracking yawn. "Next time you should take a picture." Razzy was right, though - there weren't a lot of public displays of affection in the Hogwarts hallways. In the Owlery, or up in the towers, under the stairs, in the common room underneath the Quidditch stands and sometimes in the library (less so now that Landis was prowling around, but no, not in the hallways. Erin, who was not a public displayer of affection himself, approved of the professors' sharp eyes in this case. He had zero desire to watch his schoolmates suck face on his way to every class.

Of course, Razzy had meant that lesbians were selfish because they were too greedy to share their kisses with the sexually frustrated boy, but he simply assumed his partner understood what he had meant. Erin usually caught on to what Razzy was hinting, but he had to remind himself that Erin wasn't always the quickest person he knew. When they first met, Razzy's flirting was seemingly unnoticed for a while. Erin had taken it more as mocking. But after their confrontation in that very room not so long ago, where Razzy had shown a glimpse of sensitivity, he felt as if Erin finally understood. While Razzy was a manipulative sociopath who wanted nothing more than to use people for his own personal amusement, he was hardly malicious towards Erin. Maybe in the beginning, but Razzy had noticeable softened around the dear child.

Erin probably didn't realize it, but he was lucky. If Razzy had never grown fond of the Slytherin, they would have never grown past that awkward fighting stage. Their snapping turned much more insincere since then. Practically every small teasing remark was simply to be taken with the lightest heart. Razzy enjoyed that about Erin.

"With tongue you say?"

"Yes. Tongue. Not enough groping for my liking, but the tongue definitely screamed, 'Look at us, we're begging for attention,'" Razzy replied with an impish smile. He wasn't the biggest fan of attention whores. Perhaps when they were dumb, drunk girls looking for a handsome boy like Razzy to snog. But he never truly liked an attention whore. Not even Razzy himself was an attention whore. Just because he liked to burst out tap dancing and doing cart wheels in the common room did not mean he wanted attention. A person like Razzy was unpredictable when bored. He simply kept himself entertained.

"Next time you should take a picture."

Razzy smirked, "Well, I am a photographer for the newspaper. I'm not fantastic, but I can still get a few shots of some girl on girl action." Or he could simply ask Erin's friend, Trent Travis. He surely had a couple pictures of two girls. The boy was a pervert, after all. Someone Razzy could get along with but never really trust. He wondered how Erin made his friends. Especially when they were like Trenchcoat Travis. Or Razzy for that matter. Surely not every one of his friends was forced upon him by a teacher. Or did Erin even have any real friends besides the Hufflepuff? Razzy secretly hopped for the former. Just to make himself feel a tad happier. "Perhaps I can get them to pose. Without screaming and accusations of sexual offense. It's their fault for being out in the open, I'd say," he was rambling on and he stopped himself. Who really cared about the girls, anyhow? Erin was ten times more interesting than them.

Razzy leaned in, further, towards his mate. A soft grin spread across his boyish face. Razzy's face was a bit babyish, and this fact made him insecure at times. He remembered when he encountered Philip's friend, the one who had drunkenly hit on Razzy, he had pointed that out. He had told him, "You look much younger than you are. If it weren't for your height, you'd look twelve years old." Razzy's sudden realization of this innocence made him slightly uncomfortable but his expression didn't waver. Weakness wasn't an option around Erin Harper. The boy would tease him mercilessly. Razzy knew better than that. But how could Razzy be sexy and seduce the Welshman if he had the face of a child?

Erin was quite talented at making Razzy feel a bit insecure. He hardly had to lift a finger to achieve that.

"And how are you this fine evening, hm?" Razzy inquired, despite the fact that Erin was possibly too tired to respond to him, "I don't understand how you can sleep in so late. It's ridiculous." Another soft smile formed on his face, "Of course. That must sound ridiculous coming from someone like me. I never sleep. But surely if I had someone like you by my side..." a pause, "with possible cuddling and mindless talking... I may be lulled."

He raised his eyebrows, hopefully, but played it off as if he was merely joking. Erin was probably tired of Razzy's small remarks of intimacy. But Razzy wasn't the type of person to back down at any time. He was known to be ruthless.

"Just a thought," he added, tearing a small piece off of his roll and taking a moment to consider if he actually wanted to stomach it. He let out an inaudible laugh before setting the small piece back down and brushing it to the side. Razzy realized he was possibly very unhealthy, as he never ate or slept. But he sipped his coffee merrily, feeling the caffeine coarse through his nerves, jolting him wide awake. Much more awake than before. His innocent smile stayed plastered on his face.

"Or it could have been screaming something else," Erin pointed out. He'd warmed to Razzy's impish smile, the expression squirming into his sleep-addled brain and sparking away quietly while he muzzily focused on the curve of Razzy's lips, the fall of his hair, the way he was looking at Erin - right, okay, now Erin was defintely awake, and his reciprocal smile was slow and sweet and just as wicked. "It coulda screamed 'I want in your pants, only we're in public so tongue will have to do.' They could've been skipping class to head back to one of their dorms, and then you could have followed them and taken pictures and I would have been a very happy boy." His eyes went dazed and unfocused, possibly thinking about the hypothetical pictures. "Don't you want me to be happy, Razzy?"

Seconds later, his gaze retrained itself sharply on Razzy. He looked mildly disapproving. "You could probably get some Dreamless Sleep from Nagde, you know," he said, ignoring the flirting and focusing on what was, to him, obviously the real issue. "Or I could get it for you, she likes me. I could charm her with my many many charms and then you could sleep too instead of wandering around looking like an inferni and dozing off in classrooms. And then you could stop drinking all of Hogwart's coffee." His eyes flicked down to Razzy's hands, where the other boy had broken off a piece of roll and laid it, eventually, aside. "And you could eat," he added pointedly, and stuffed another roll into his own mouth. They weren't warm anymore, but Erin was hungry right now and he could eat a million of them. He didn't understand why Razzy lacked that particular aspect of being a teenage male.

Erin went on about how the two girls could had possibly invited Razzy to their dorm and the Hufflepuff simply chuckled. While he completely loved the idea, it was very unlikely such a thing would have happened. Razzy could turn straight men into bisexual men. He had yet to try turning lesbian women into bisexual women. But it was indeed an idea. A quest he had yet to conquer. He began to ponder this thought, stroking his sharp chin with his thumb and index finger. Before he gave it much thought, Razzy realized joining in with two girls wouldn't be so fun as it was played off to be. His main concern was... Who would be getting into his pants and what would the other one be doing? The situation seemed so awkward. He'd rather be with two guys, where no one would be left out of Razzy's loving. The more affection Razzy received, the more interesting the situation would become.

"Don't you want me to be happy, Razzy?"

Razzy perked an eyebrow and smirked, "I'm fairly sure I can find other ways to make you happy that don't involve jail bait." Like buying him ice cream, taking him to a water park, having Eli join in one of their snog sessions... Razzy adjusted in his seat with a soft chuckle. If Erin knew the thoughts that went through Razzy's head, he was fairly sure the boy would never want to talk to him again. And would possibly avoid him for a while. Or... Maybe... Erin would be intrigued. Razzy had yet to test the Slytherin's grounds. But he had quite a few ideas up his sleeves.

"Besides. A photo is just a photo. What could you even do with it?" While Razzy could think of a few pathetic things that a lonely teenage boy would probably do, Erin didn't need a picture of two girls kissing for that. At least, Razzy hoped Erin didn't need such a picture. But his green eyes examined the Slytherin, obviously analyzing him and giving the thought a small moment of consideration before pushing it away. Whatever Erin did in his spare time was his own business. To Razzy's disappointment.

"You could probably get some Dreamless Sleep from Nagde, you know,"

His face fell blank once more. Of course he knew fairly well of treatments for his insomnia. But the thought made him incredibly uncomfortable. Razzy loathed the term treatment. The word had been carved into the back of his skull, scratching against his brain with its rough edges. There were treatments for his sleeplessness, his lack of eating, his caffeine addiction, his nicotine addiction, his need for affection, and "Don't worry, Mrs. Chancelier; we won't know for sure for another two to three years. But there will be treatments for him." Not only were the doctors full of crap, but there were no treatments for anti-social disorder. Placebos and therapy were to be his prescription. The thought made him sick to his stomach. Razzy had decided to cut himself off from medicine and whatnot. Even if for just a cold. He had no problem with other people pumping themselves with whatever the hell to heal their pain, considering he wanted to be a healer, but Razzy was done.

"No... No. I think cuddling would be a much more relaxing... Enjoyable thing," his red lips cracked against his cheeks again, "Much better than downing a bottle of poison, yeah? Wake up drowning in my own saliva due to a heavy, dreamless sleep.., I think I'd rather just lay in bed all night counting the threads on my sheets." He paused, shrugging, "It's like saying... You should chug a bottle of fire whiskey before you go to bed. So you can wake up covered in vomit and three hours late for class." Razzy's logic didn't entirely make sense but he fell silent for a few moments. He wasn't so much upset that Erin basically rejected him as he was dwelling on the thought of taking something to help himself. What a horrible idea that was. "I'll never stop drinking coffee..."

"And you could eat,"

He bit his lip, glancing down at the roll by his elbow. "Hmm," he hummed to himself. He considered the roll once more, brushing it lightly with his thumb and feeling the softness of it all. The sensation almost made Razzy afraid to bite into it. It reminded him too much of flesh. Pale, soft flesh. He popped the small piece into his mouth, deciding if Erin wanted him to eat, he'd eat. But he could hardly taste the roll over the coffee that stained his tongue and made his breath smell rancid. Razzy really did lack a lot of aspects of a teenage boy. He was a bit more feminine, despite being staggeringly tall and rather athletic. It took a special kind of boy to be concerned more with the softness of his hair than having bro time with his bros at the lake doing bro stuff.

"You can have my roll; I'm not hungry," Razzy told him, placing the round ball of dough in front of his partner. He would eat later. Perhaps he would steal Erin's potatoes or something of the sorts. He couldn't force himself to eat something that had the texture of skin and the taste of air.

But his small smirk formed once more. He placed a hand on Erin's arm, long fingers wrapping ever so carefully around it. His hands were warm from the coffee and Erin's skin reminded him a bit too much of the roll he had just been holding... Razzy tilted his head, playing off innocent like it was his job, and stared into Erin's eyes...

"You know, Erin. My bed doesn't bite. I may, on occasion... But I promise I'll be good."

If that wasn't believable, Razzy would likely drop the thought and leave Erin be about it. Of course, Razzy couldn't promise to actually "be good," but he could try like hell.

"I'm fairly sure I can find other ways to make you happy that don't involve jail bait. What could you even do with it?"

"Doesn't count as jail bait if we're that too," Erin said sweetly. And with a wicked, wicked grin, "Well, if I have to answer that..." He resisted the urge to throw in a vulgar gesture, as he thought his point was clear enough. It still came second nature to him, voicing thoughts like this - sure, Erin had dirty thoughts like any other teenage boy, but he wasn't used to sniggering about them with his closest friends. Mostly 'cause he didn't have many "closest friends." Before, it was just Trent Travis, and he was known as such a universal pervert that that hardly counted. Razzy thrived on this sort of stuff, though. It'd thrown Erin quite for a loop before he'd caught on.

A strange look passed Razzy's face when Erin talked about Dreamless Sleep; Erin, who was pretty used to a near-constant expression of suggestive smarminess and the occasional blank staring, watched him carefully at this chink in the armor. But eventually Razzy stopped making excuses and ate a tiny piece of his roll... not enough. He slid it over to Erin, careless, casually, gave it to him.

Erin scowled, and tapped the roll with the back of his finger. "I don't want it," he said, despite the fact that he'd just eaten four rolls over the course of the last ten minutes. His next words died before they passed his lips - eat it, Razzy. He didn't like Razzy's habits, but he didn't want to sound like anyone's mother. And it was none of his concern, or so he told himself, and it was stupid to pay attention to things like that anyways. Razzy wouldn't appreciate Erin digging in his business. It was an argument that conflicted most ironically with the other concern that'd been taking up all of Erin's recent mental processes. He didn't have the right to tell Razzy to eat or sleep more... yet.

But that was all squirmy thinking that he didn't necessarily want to go into right where Razzy could see his expression, so for now Erin masked his weirdly mothering impulse comments with stubbornness and blunt refusals to help Razzy look even more like an attractive victim of consumption.

Said attractive victim of consumption lookalike had just laid a hand on his arm. Erin refocused.

"You know, Erin. My bed doesn't bite. I may, on occasion... But I promise I'll be good."

"Uh-huh," he said, unconvinced. But he let Razzy's touch linger, didn't push him away. His fingers spread lightly against the desk, then curled in again. Razzy touching him had, through the course of their friendship, gone from to annoying to allowable to weirdly distracting in record time. Now when Razzy touched him, threw an arm over his shoulders, bumped purposefully into him in the hallway, spread a hand against Erin's side or face or whatever... it just made Erin think of snogging him.

Sure, he'd made things worse by going along with it. Razzy had started it, but Erin had let it continue. Encouraged it, even. Erin thought of last Sunday, in this empty classroom. ...Yes, definitely encouraged it. But saying it was worse implied that he didn't like it. He did, of course, but it skirted some issues he didn't really want to have to think about. To believe Razzy was to think he liked Erin in that way, which was terrifying and bizarre and kind of, after all these repetitions of it, hard not to believe. Erin was well aware he was not easy to get along with, and that even the occasional bit of snogging probably wasn't going to make anyone put up with him on a regular basis. Razzy was known for sleeping around, getting action where he could with a bunch of dumb girls who couldn't see past his charming smile - but Erin had called him out on that, and he was still around. And, even if he was nothing else, Razzy was definitely Erin's friend. He knew that much. No one played this long of a game. And he kind of wanted - Erin was sort of territorial, so it was understandable, but ... he didn't want Razzy going after someone else. If he meant all that.

"Well, if I have to answer that..."

An inaudible laugh escaped his lips. Of course. Razzy had to remember that Erin was merely human and had urges and he most likely fulfilled those urges like every normal teenage boy. Razzy never really needed "personal time" with himself. He had plenty of dumb girls to do that for him. However, as the days grew on and Razzy felt more and more like a slut, his needs weren't exactly his main concern. Besides the occasion surprise in class (which every boy experienced, he knew that perfectly well,) Razzy ignored it. And he did a perfectly good job at it. However, the night before, he had gone against his better judgment with a certain Hufflepuff... He felt his cheeks heat up. Not out of the pleasure of remembering a fond memory, but out of a strangling feeling of disappointment in himself. He decided it was best if he kept his lips to himself.

One of Razzy's most excellent talents was defying the law of being a teenage boy. It was a bit of a miracle that Razzy could even grow a beard, since he had the makeup of a woman. Slender with fine skin and hair. Oh, the wonders of being a Chancelier.

"Like I said... I could find ways to make you happy..." He glanced down at his trimmed fingernails, seeing if there was any dirt in their beds. Clean as always. It was more so his hand in general that he was interested in. Razzy's eyes flicked back up to Erin's. He shrugged, lightly, "But if you want to sit around in your dorm with a picture of two girls who would never even consider your existence in person, go ahead."

Oddly, despite stuffing his face moments before, Erin dismissed the roll. Razzy took a moment to study Erin's scowling face. Peculiar. Razzy hated it when people made big deals over whatever the hell was wrong with him. Luckily, Erin didn't make a big deal. But somehow... His silent glares and humming and stubbornness when Razzy did something wrong, say not eat for a day or not sleep for a week, they were much more bothersome and aggravating than if Erin yelled at him. He still preferred Erin to stay quiet. But the Slytherin was catching on quickly to Razzy's bad habits. He pumped himself full of doubting thoughts and crazed ideas. Erin was catching on. Razzy wanted to scowl back at him at that moment. "Don't look at me like that," he wanted to say, "I know exactly what I'm doing." But that would be a lie. And Razzy was trying not to lie as much around Erin. The boy would know Razzy was lying, anyhow. He knew better.

If it weren't for Razzy's empty expression, he knew Erin would eventually dissect him to the point that he would know Razzy better than himself.

For now, Erin's unspoken scolding forced Razzy to snatch the roll up. "Fine then. Fine. I'll eat it," he told him, "I'll eat the hell out of it, yeah?" This time, tearing off a large piece, he shoved it into his mouth immediately. Chewing carelessly, he stared at Erin. Indifferent. He was totally careless about the tasteless roll in his mouth. It was so bland. It was like he was eating a piece of cardboard only it was fluffy and soft. It wasn't like Razzy starved himself. Well, at least, he tried not to. Sometimes he would forget to eat. But he would eat very small amounts of food a day. If he had Quidditch practice, or a game, he would eat quite a lot more than he usually did. He didn't need a lot of food. At least, he believed he didn't.

Erin stayed quiet when Razzy promised to be good, only mumbling a small, "Uh-huh," before staring off. He seemed a bit unfocused at that point. Whatever was on his mind, Razzy wouldn't have been able to tell. He assumed he was making Erin uncomfortable with his efforts to get Erin to at least spend a night with him (with absolutely no ill intentions; Razzy knew planning something like that would be a very bad idea... Especially since it was Erin and everything had to be just right else Razzy would feel like the boy would never get close with him.) Razzy's lips parted. Wanting to say something. Erin's fingers stretched and contracted, like a cat baring its claws at a victim.

But Razzy made no sign of moving his hand away.

"Okay, okay," he smirked, "I lied..." his fingers twisted around Erin's arm, inching down to his hand, "My bed does bite. It gets hungry all the time. I have to feed it pissy Slytherins to make it happy. If not, it tries to eat my cat. Or my dorm mates. But I'm mainly concerned about my cat."

He tilted his head. Warm fingers wrapped around Erin's, ever so gently. He expected Erin to knock his hand away, to tell him to stop it. It made Razzy smile, the way Erin grew tense around the Hufflepuff. He continued to study Erin's expression, lips still parted with curiosity and pondering. Perhaps it was just too early for Erin to keep up with Razzy's mindless attempts at convincing him to... to... Love him, basically. As much as Razzy loved a heated snog with Erin, he was incredibly greedy. They were so much more than just a couple of boys latching jaws in an empty classroom every Sunday.

"Something wrong?" Razzy finally asked, narrowing his eyes, "You seem a bit... Distant today."

Erin snorted as Razzy looked pointedly down at his hand. "Subtle," he told him, but with no real ire.

"Okay, okay. I lied...My bed does bite. It gets hungry all the time. I have to feed it pissy Slytherins to make it happy. If not, it tries to eat my cat. Or my dorm mates. But I'm mainly concerned about my cat."

A smile flickered on and off again, indicative of a brief little spark of amusement at Razzy's "confession." But Erin was too distracted by what Razzy was doing to speak, too disarmed by the way the other boy's fingers slid through his own. Except for his little sister, Erin had only held hands with another person twice. He stared until he realized he was staring, jerked his gaze uncomfortably away. He swallowed, looked now at the wall instead. This was really weird. And he knew his reaction wasn't because someone was holding his hand... but because it was Razzy.

Maybe if he hadn't been thinking about - what he'd been thinking about, he wouldn't get so distracted by Razzy now. He didn't usually react like this, and Razzy touched him all the time. Made his sly little comments, too, forever asking Erin in his smarmy French way to love him, but that was way easier to ignore. No, something was off today, the dynamic was different, and he knew it was him. He was the one making things different. They'd just fallen into this comfortable, friendly routine and then Erin had to change his mind and ruin things again. The leap from friends to whatever this was had nearly ruined them - Razzy's affection, Erin's rejection - only to segue smoothly after all the initial drama into what Erin had thought Razzy wanted anyways. But it still didn't seem to satisfy the Hufflepuff, or at least he hadn't dropped the offers, and now maybe it didn't satisfy Erin either.

He wasn't sure. He couldn't decide.

What did Razzy really want from him? After thinking about it a while, Erin thought he knew how to find out.

The only problem was, his way of finding out was not - well, it was - it was...sort of risky. It's a good plan, his Slytherin tendencies assured him, it will work. He would know either way as soon as he just... did it. But he was hesitant because, in a most unSlytherin way, he was also sort of a little bit emotionally invested in Razzy's answer. It would work perfectly and then he would know, but yes, it was risky.

Erin thinks it's an acceptable risk, but he's never been much good at planning. That he got this far was a miracle, but Erin would never have blurted this out on his own if he hadn't steeled himself for it first. Like he did last night. Like he was doing now. The narrowing of Razzy's eyes reminded him that his strange behavior wasn't going unnoticed. Of course he must seem distant. Erin isn't used to thinking this much, to probing his own feelings, and it takes a lot of concentration not to give himself excuses. Next week he could do this, or the week after - they've only been friends for (what was it?) months now (damn) but Erin wasn't even really sure if this was what he wanted. He could wait, become more certain - or let things stay as they were - this was a big jump, and he was almost as nervous about victory as he was about defeat.

"Razzy," Erin said slowly, and his fingers tightened briefly on Razzy's before he pulled his hand away. "Razzy, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Erin still didn't show much reaction to Razzy's playing around. He was starting to suspect he did something wrong. Like he heard word of one of Razzy's past flings. Or Razzy forgot his birthday. But of course he didn't. His birthday wasn't in another month. Something... Something was off. Erin refused to even look at the Hufflepuff. Of course Razzy was growing concerned. He made Erin uncomfortable plenty of times before. But he usually just slapped Razzy away, shot an insult at him, or just completely ignored it. It wasn't like Erin to stay so quiet. It was beginning to remind Razzy of when he admitted to Erin he liked him more than a friend. He just sat there, quietly, hardly looking at him. Razzy's lips parted to speak... "Razzy,"

Erin slipped his hand away from the Hufflepuff. He swallowed, hard, and stared down at his bare hand. He could hardly imagine what Erin was about to lay on him. He assumed it was bad. Razzy was always doubting himself. Always thinking about how Erin wasn't really interested in him. A man of low confidence, yet narcissistic as can be.

"Razzy, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

The boy's cheeks immediately flushed a dark red. An incredibly noticeable red. Boyfriend. A word Razzy would have never suspected to come out of the Slytherin's mouth. Out of anyone's mouth, really. Razzy never grew so close to a person before. Not even Eli took such a large step with Razzy. He promised Razzy lovely things, such as being there for Razzy when he finally graduated from Hogwarts. But he never wanted to tie Razzy down. He never wanted to remain faithful. But Erin did...

He felt his stomach twist and the sickness he hadn't felt for months began to rise into his chest again. He was frozen. His mouth agape and his eyes wide, staring at Erin. He was in awe.

Boyfriend.

The first word that formed on Razzy's lips was, "Why?" Why would Erin want Razzy? He never seemed all too comfortable with Razzy. Aside from his snogging and small amount of flirting, Erin never really showed much interest in Razzy. At least, not in that way. Razzy was used to having affection at all times. And Erin hated to be touched. But he didn't exactly care at that point. Erin was asking Razzy to be his boyfriend. He was asking him.

But the worse thing of it all was Razzy wasn't sure if he could force himself to stay faithful. Razzy had the loosest lips in the school (well, almost) and he already knew Erin knew plenty about those people. They were all meaningless one night stands or one time kisses. They meant nothing. They were nothing. But some had occurred when Erin and Razzy were talking. What if he couldn't help himself when they were officially together? Razzy hated that part of himself. He could never tie himself down. The thought was scaring him. He could never. He would never...

However, Razzy had decided to stop going behind Erin's back the very night before. He felt awful. He almost puked. Razzy had never had a real relationship before. He never pictured anyone ever wanting to be in a relationship with him. Razzy wasn't that lovely of a person. He was disgusting. He was a monster. He hurt people and abused their friendliness. In fact, he had only started pursuing Erin because Eli got to him first. Razzy had been jealous. Not only because someone was kissing his Eli, but because he knew Erin first. And because Erin was exactly his cup of tea. Rude, blonde, athletic... Blonde. No one could really compare to Erin anymore. No one was like Erin. He had made that mistake. But he wasn't sure how much longer his faithfulness would last.

But that was the point of being in a relationship, wasn't it? He was promising to stay faithful.

The thought began to feel welcoming at last.

He wouldn't need anyone else if he had Erin by his side. He could have the smug satisfaction of being able to deny whoever because he was already taken. He could drag Erin away from girls who seem just a bit too flirty, because he would have that small amount of say in Erin's life. It was a pleasant thought.

So Razzy's dumb gaze finally dropped into a cheerful smile after a few seconds. "Yeah, of course I'll be your boyfriend," he told his partner, the sickness fluttering throughtout his nerves. It tickled his insides. It was a pleasant feeling. He never pictured himself ever saying those words. He refrained from chuckling. He spread his hand on the back of his neck, dropping his gaze to the desk. He didn't know what else to say. It was interesting. How Erin made him feel that way. He continued to smirk.

"I- I've never had a boyfriend before. Or a girlfriend..." He rubbed his cheek and laughed nervously, "This is a first." He felt stupid. Girlish. He must have looked like an idiot. "Sorry," he mumbled and looked back up at Erin, his face still red and his eyes still wide. He felt foolish. But surely the surprise of it all would wear off.

Razzy stared at him for a long, long time. In the interim Erin seemed to shrink: slumping down in his chair, a red flush rose to match Razzy's own and his direct gaze faltered under the long scrutiny. He looked uncomfortable. He also looked like he was bitterly regretting his question.

Maybe he shoulda thought of a different experiment.

Although he did get to see Razzy blush, which was a sight as rare as a unicorn. Well, maybe even more rare, because as loathe as he was to admit it a unicorn would probably come quite readily to Erin. A unicorn coming to Razzy, then, maybe that rare. Or maybe - no, no. Enough distraction techniques. Even with his thoughts chasing themselves in circles to find a suitable analogy for the rarity of seeing Razzy blush, these scant seconds were stretching out forever. This silence had gone on way too long for it to mean anything good. Maybe Razzy was just incredulous, trying to think of a semi-polite way to tell Erin that, yes, actually all he had wanted was a good shag and this was just as embarrassing for him as it was now for Erin. He certainly didn't seem angry, or amused - maybe shocked? A weird edge of awe? It was hard to gauge what with Erin's sudden, all-consuming interest in the opposite wall.

"You don't have to," he blurted when the weight of Razzy's wide-eyed stare finally got to be too much. "I just - um - " He broke off, gaze darting away again, mouth twisting, and his hands beneath the desk clenching to disturb the straight line of his slacks. His words dropped away to a rebellious mutter, "I just thought..."

"Yeah, of course I'll be your boyfriend," Razzy said, sounding happy and surprised and, yes, damn it, a little amused, and also like he hadn't just made Erin squirm in terrible anticipation before answering. "I- I've never had a boyfriend before. Or a girlfriend..."

With a different background, a different family, a different religion, maybe Erin would've heard a choir. As it were his eyes rose to Razzy's and he started to grin. "Really?" he asked, and, "...what, really?" There was something he'd had more experience with than Razzy? Well that was bizarre. Bolstered by this new confidence and a general air of delayed satisfaction, Erin slowly crossed one arm over the other on the desk, his smile gaining a new, smug edge.

"Don't worry," he said, in something disturbingly like a purr. "I've totally got this relationship stuff down. I've done it before." With a girl. That was unimportant. And Razzy should blush more often. Now that Erin knew he wasn't about to get gently and firmly rejected, it was kind of cute. Hallelujah! Would now be a good time to dance?

Whatever doubt Erin had, it quickly vanished to Razzy's amusement. The boy must have suspected Razzy to reject him like one of those French girlies he encountered at his Aunt's parties (because who knew whether or not they were related to him.) However, the idea of saying "no" didn't necessarily cross Razzy's mind. While he doubted his own commitment and didn't like the thought of being tied down, he didn't want to turn Erin loose. Why would Razzy say no? He didn't have any real reasons to push Erin aside. He may have had trouble keeping his hands to himself, but the good part about being in a relationship was that he could just put his hands all over Erin. Well... When they were ready, at least.

Razzy's blushing didn't subside.

"Really?"

He smirked, "Yes, really." Razzy chuckled. Erin's blue eyes staring up at him made his stomach twist with delight. It was almost as if Erin was as surprised as Razzy... The idea of the Slytherin asking out a Hufflepuff was ridiculous. And the idea of Razzy accepting said request was ridiculous, also. It was interesting, to say the least. "I like you... A whole lot. I've told you this plenty of times, amor de ma vie," he felt silly for saying that. His coy smirk turned into a boyish grin, his lips curving into each other. The more he spoke, the more stupid he felt he sounded. He cleared his throat and wiped the grin off his face, in an attempt to straighten himself up.

"I've totally got this relationship stuff down. I've done it before."

Razzy's lack of prior relationships put a sudden sly smile on Erin's face. As if he was proud of that experience over Razzy. He had never had a relationship before because he could never get himself to settle. He liked snogging and girls who liked to put their hands on him, but he never talked to those people. And talking was a big portion of being in a relationship, right? A smirk formed on Razzy's face to mirror the one Erin had stuck onto his handsome face. Seeing Erin so smug was actually pretty sexy. The way he leaned in and the way he spoke with Razzy... As if Razzy was cute and innocent for being inexperienced in relationships.

But he never wanted to settle. And he definitely wasn't settling for Erin. He was planting himself down with someone he legitimately enjoyed and wished to spend a long time with. That was worth being dubbed "boyfriend."

"I never pictured myself being someone's boyfriend, that's all," Razzy responded, a sculpted eyebrow perking with amusement, "The thought scares me. Like some bitch would get her spiny fingers stuck around life. But you're not a bitch, so..." Razzy was thankful Erin hadn't been a girl when they were first assigned as partners so long ago. He probably would have rejected Erin right then if he had a been a woman. Razzy didn't deal well with ladies. Erin was far from that.

The more Erin stared at him with that smug little expression, the more Razzy was quite pleased with calling him his boyfriend. It was very fitting. Very, very fitting. It just slipped right onto Erin without a second thought. Razzy licked his lips, wanting to urge his own body forward. To be closer to the Slytherin. To snog him silly. However, Razzy settled on simply leaning in slightly, his own hands still pressed against his neck and cheek. His blushing never subsiding.

A thought clouded Razzy's mind rather quickly. Who did Erin date before Razzy? Of course, it wasn't surprising that Erin had a girlfriend before him. Erin was handsome and rude. Girls loved that in a guy. But who? Razzy was fairly sure it was tacky to talk about one's exes with their current significant other, but... He was curious...

"Who'd you date, anyway?" He asked, leaning in more with a coy smirk, "Anyone I know?"

Well, now that he knew Razzy's usual words weren't a load of dragon dung, maybe he could start believing them. Pfft. Maybe. "Love of my life" was still a bit rich coming from a boy not yet out of school. Still, he was happy enough at the moment to allow it, consider it, and find it inoffensive, on the whole. Razzy could call him whatever he wanted now.

Except Madame. And baby doll. And sweet cheeks. And snuggle bear. Those were still off-limits.

"But you're not a bitch, so..."

Erin smirked. "Mmm. Thanks. Changed your mind about my gender, did you?" It was true that Razzy hadn't mocked him for that particular reason... recently. It was probably thinking about the old twee epithets the Hufflepuff used to subject him to that had it on his mind, or just the situation, this, that made him think of  where they'd started. 

"Who'd you date, anyway?"

"Yeah, Bellatrix Dark. I'm sure you know her." Crazy girl like that, who in this school didn't know her? Of course, her quick hand at hexes and nasty temper were not what Erin'd dated her for. "She used to be... sweeter." He'd liked that then, when he'd been a little nicer himself. Now though he'd never date her Erin found himself remembering earlier in the year, and grinning. She'd been sweeter then, but she was more fun now. The kiss he'd stolen from her cheek last fall had been a toss-up as to whether she'd hit him with a hex first or blush.

She'd blushed.

"I liked Beatrix for a while too, but she... chose Vincent." It was better off this way, though, and Erin knew it. He and Beatrix couldn't talk without insulting each other; it was too difficult, too tiring, trying to impress her. It was easy being with Razzy. Effortless. He caught Razzy's gaze and gave him a slow, deliberate smile. "No big loss." You're much better. He hoped the implication was clear.

"Mmm. Thanks. Changed your mind about my gender, did you?"

Razzy smirked at his companion. He remembered the first time they met perfectly. Razzy had been his perfectly douchey self and stated he was hoping Erin was a girl. The egg, the stupid class, the pet names for each other (Erin kept calling him "Reynaud;" he was too cute,) the desk punching, and the first time Razzy had jokingly dubbed Erin "amor de ma vie." He remembered how Erin had made reference to them being covered in sweat and blood or something like that. And he didn't understand how that had excited Razzy. They had learned so much about each other since then. Erin learned Razzy was disgusting and Razzy learned that Erin hardly ever picked up on his deeply disturbing sexual innuendos.

He chuckled, "I don't know. Just because you're not a bitch doesn't mean you're not a lady." Razzy had yet to see Erin naked, anyway. He wouldn't be convinced until he saw him naked. This was his logic. He would not be swayed.

Of course, when Razzy called Erin his amor de ma vie, he still wasn't entirely serious. Razzy had strong feelings for Erin, yes, but he was young. And he hardly even understood what he was feeling. It wasn't like Razzy to even feel, period. But it had been a joke turned into a nice, warming nickname for his partner. He was still convinced that Erin didn't speak French, so the meaning didn't really matter. It was like how guys always called girls "love." The girls weren't really their "love," they were just being tools. And that's basically all Razzy was.

"Yeah, Bellatrix Dark. I'm sure you know her."

Immediately, Razzy had to control the urge to laugh. Bellatrix. Freakin'. Dark. That was the most insane thing Razzy had ever heard. But he saw why Erin and Bellatrix would get along so well. They were both feisty and had the tendency to insult people. However, that didn't make the idea any less ridiculous. "Yeah... I know her," Razzy's smile was wide with amusement, spreading from ear to ear. Even if Bella was nicer back when they dated, Razzy knew those girls far too well. And for a while, he hated them. And then Bellatrix became practically his best friend, the crazy woman. It was funny how things changed.

And not only had he dated Bellatrix, but he apparently made out with Beatrix before she started dating Vincent Pennyapple. That was even more ridiculous. Beatrix, too? Beatrix? Razzy loved Beatrix to death, as she kept him calm with her optimistic voice of reason, but she definitely didn't seem to be Erin's type. Much too happy, that one. True, it was no big loss for Erin. And Erin telling him so made Razzy beam at him, his green eyes wide with amazement (Erin hardly ever complimented Razzy, so that was pretty big for him.) "But what a loss for Beatrix, yeah? Stupid girl doesn't know what she's missing," he responded; his smile was beginning to hurt his cheeks, "Then again. If she hadn't been so stupid, we probably wouldn't be sitting here, now would we?"

But the more Razzy thought about Erin and the twins, the more the urge to laugh became unbearable. It came to the point where his shoulders started shaking up and down. Finally, he burst out laughing. A genuine, booming laugh. The twins were basically Razzy's little sisters. Only instead of being incredibly over protective of them, he was more like the older brother who poked fun at them and mocked everything they did. The girls loved him nonetheless. Except maybe Bellatrix ever since Razzy kissed her Valentine's Day date. But that wasn't something he would tell Erin.

His laugh finally faded into simply a large grin, "You're joking. The Dark twins, really?" he paused to shake his head, "So which of my cousins are you going after next? You should hook up with Erin Dark. She has the same name as you. And she's dumb as a brick, bless her soul."

The Dark twins. That was rich.

"I knew that they had a thing about you, but I thought they were just being stupid girls. But you snogged Beatrix even though you dated Bellatrix? That's sleazy," he was merely poking fun, but he settled himself down. Razzy rested his chin on his cupped hands. How hilarious.

"I would share my ridiculous stories, but yours is much too perfect."