Jonas Trevelyan liked a joke just as Edward Pratt did. He no doubt liked the surprise and the look on a victim’s face as he pulled one over on them. Edward Pratt had a feeling that Jonas Trevelyan was playing a joke on him for this evening. He was expecting to walk into the pub to see a ginger haired man sat at the bar wearing a dress, lipstick and high heels. That was the kind of joke Ed could see Jonas pulling without the proper help and guidance required when a Cornish leprechaun attempted to play ‘funny’. Ed imagined Jonas enjoyed dressing up as a woman. He imagined that was why Anna Trevelyan had finished with him the first time. Finding your husband going through your wardrobe looking for something nice to wear had to be a big turn off for a woman.

Ed really did hope that he wasn’t going to be going on a date with Jonas Trevelyan in a dress. He didn’t think his stomach, his brain or his eyes could deal with such an atrocity! Staring at fiery red hair was already enough to put a man off his drink but combine that with lipstick and a waxed chest? The very thought made Ed want to vomit.

This was why Ed hadn’t come into the pub expecting much. He stepped into the warmth of the leaky cauldron and lowered the hood from over his head. It was been raining outside so he gladly pulled his cloak off, shook it out, folded it up and pocketed it. It was amazing what one could fit into a robe pocket with the help of a handy extension charm.

This was a blind date. Another thought that had crossed Ed’s mind was that Jonas had taken the words seriously because the sad little ginger genes had corrupted his little Irish mind and made him all confused. Ed truly did hope his ‘date’ wasn’t going to be blind. How was she to admire his dazzlingly handsome good looks and witch weekly award winning smile? Well, not that he’d won an award yet, but it was inevitable.

The auror decided to take things cautiously. He was glad to not see any oddly built women loitering at the bar and therefore was much more willing to approach it. He promptly pushed himself up onto a stool and ordered a pint of ale.

"Whaddabout dis one, love? 

Niobe turned in her seat at the Leaky Cauldron bar at the prompting of the old codger.  She was looking her best tonight, her dreads weaved up off her neck a few of the rounded tips sticking up like a rooster's tail.  Jonas Trevelyan, her wizard on the inside at Level Two had made the coy suggestion that he had someone in mind for her.  Rather fearlessly, she accepted - she'd dated Cinaed Tawse and was currently fending off an obsessed Dominik Wiedman.   Anyone Jonas threw at her would be a puppy in comparison.

She'd got there early, and got settled.  She'd announced to all within earshot that she, Niobe Thursby, was expecting a blind date.  In the time she waited about half a dozen people had come into the Cauldron and she, the codger and the bartender had scoped them out and evaluated the likelihood that it could be her date.  They even considered a few women - not a horrible thought to the adventurous Thursby, and not something she'd put past Jonas.

"Best candidate so far," she said in a sing-song voice, watching the fetching wizard look around.  She knew it wouldn't be long before he noticed her staring.  "He's not horrifying," she said, a gross understatement for the sake of comedy.  He looked... cocky, but wary.  He must know Jonas Trevalyan well.

She watched as he took a seat down the bar, and the old codger was laughing a wheezing laugh at her side.  "He's an Auror! Heh heh heh!"

"Really."  Niobe smirked and rapped her knuckles against the worn wooden bar to make a small ruckus. 

"Oi! You there - we've all voted and we're rather sure you're my date.  Name of Jonas mean more to you than whales?"

‘Oi’ wasn’t exactly something Pratt had ever become accustomed to hearing in order to gain his attention. And he didn’t exactly know what to think of the banging on the bar by the eager fingered witch either. An eyebrow rose at the upfront ‘you there’ and he twisted his head to allow green eyes to settle on the witch a stool away who was speaking directly to him.

We all...? He took in the barman who was now pulling his pint while staring eagerly between the two and the old man on the other side of the socially abnormal female who looked far too interested in what was now taking place, laughing unhealthily at some humorous occurrence Ed had yet to notice. Had Jonas invited the old man for his last show while waiting for the Grimm Reaper? How kind of him!

What did Jonas have to do with whales?
“Name of Jonas means accent as incomprehensible as a whale and obnoxiously shiny hair more reflective than whale blubber.” The auror muttered in response before twisting his body around to face the witch. He’d seen that face before and as he took her features in suspiciously, Ed realised where. Jonas had set him up for the evening with a dreadlocked Daily Prophet reporter. He wasn’t sure whether to hang Jonas upside down from the ceiling next time they met or congratulate him on unexpected originality by presenting him with a female that had more personality in one line than a muggle blonde could ever have in one life.

There was certainly something quite...interesting about her method of greeting and her herself. A smirk began to form on the auror’s lips as he pushed himself off his own stool and parked his rear end on the one closest to her.

“Ed Pratt.” He introduced himself, offering a hand to shake. “Yer Nobby Thursby. Sin’ yer face in the paper, ‘ent I? What’s yer tipple?”

'Nobby'? 

The old codger just laughed all the harder and she gave him a 'yer done' look with her eyebrows.  The bartender added, "Looks like he's the one, Virgil.  Come on down here with me and I'll get you a coffee..."

Niobe, relieved of her 'entourage', now had full view of her blind date.  His suave exterior suddenly gave way to the most Northern accent she'd heard in ages.  It was so startling that she coughed into her hand and muttered, "Oh god..!" 

"Niobe," she corrected without impatience, and with a rueful smile, she returned his handshake.  "Well met, Ed.  Djinn and tonic."  Niobe was used to being recognized and more than once her name was mispronounced.  If you only saw it in writing it could be tricky to get a handle on it.  As far as a date went, she wasn't sure how helpful her minor celebrity would be.  She did not have an excellent reputation with Level Two.   Not after... well, mercy, the most recent fluff was her publishing about that student's death without a word to Level Two. 

He laughed a nervous laugh once more.  "Sorry.  You know how these things go. You expect one thing and... well.  Here you are.  Don't get me wrong, you're lovely, but um, I wasn't expecting an Auror."

Ed blinked. She just called him lovely after alluding to the fact that his appearance had been a disappointing dampener on her expectations for the blind date Jonas had suggested for her. Ed didn’t think he’d ever have a reaction like that. Women always seemed interested in him, even during his years of marriage. Perhaps that was why Quincy’s jealousy had sparked to the point of being the catalyst for the first split and much unwanted divorce. But this witch hadn’t expected him. What had she anticipated to walk through that door and grace the bar with their presence?

“I weren’t expectin’ Medusa the reporter, luv’.” The northern auror replied to the Irish journalist with a grin. “But Niobe. Kinda’ wondered why yer parents hated ye enough to give ye a house-elf’s name first time I read it in the paper.” It wasn’t really necessary to inform him he’d even got that hourse-elf’s name wrong. The man would doubtless ignore the correction.

He reached an arm out and took the gin and tonic in a hand, pushing it over to his date before grasping his own pint, green eyes still watching 'Niiohbee’.

“What were you expecting then, Niobe?” Ed repeated her name, pleased to finally have it right. “I’m relieved you ‘ent bearded and in a dress to be honest. Trevelyan’s as trust worthy as a one eyed toad under the imperious curse ye know.” And with that the blond auror took a swig of his ale and plonked the flask back on the bar.

Niobe smiled back.  Even though Ed's words had a little barb on them, Niobe wasn't prickled.  As we've discussed, she's used to nearlike fighting with her date, so this was pleasent tea-talk.  Ngh, and he was witty.  She took up the G and T happily and took a sip of it's cold, fresh bite. 

"Dunno," she admitted.  "Just not an Auror.  Your den mother isn't my biggest fan.  Me and Aurors, we tend to have different priorities.  I'm a hard sell to you wands in red.  And I am having a deadly hard time not grilling you on the Mulogo assasination attempt, the Runespoor case, Cinaed Tawse, MacDuff...!"

Her voice rose in register and her balled up fists came up and up and up past her shoulders, past her chin until she wrapped her bare arms over her head.

"Augh...!" she let both her voice and arms drop in a giant sigh and a big smile.

"See? Wouldn't stand it.  Becuase I know you'd tell me a thing."

Probably best for everyone that she not mention that there WAS an Auror feeding her biscuits.  It was the same Untrustworthy Imperiused One-Eyed Toad they were both acquainted with.

“Nor mine.” Ed cut into his date’s response with a grin. Tamis Raynor seemed to like Ed as much as a very furry three-legged blind cat liked swimming in waterfalls. Or if she did like him more, she never showed it. But Ed ignored it. He has quite happy irritating her and getting on with his work regardless of what idiot she tried pairing him with next. Perhaps the next partner would be frizzy haired and ginger. That would be too much for him!

Nobby...or Niobe Thursby was obviously struggling in the presence of an auror and Ed decided to simply watch her ball her fists up and repress the urges to ask various questions while he took another large gulp of the ale. That was much easier than reassuring her. And much more fun as well.

With the pint glass on the bar once more, the auror grinned across at his date.

“All the fun’s in the grillin’ luv’.” He responded quietly. “Definitely wouldn’t mind being grilled by a pretty lass like yerself. Not that ye’d get owt out o’me. Still fun all the same.” A wink was sent in Niobe’s direction before the man’s expression turned serious and he leaned forward, closer to her face as if preparing to share a highly guarded secret. “Just don’t get fidgety with those fingers though, eh? One tickle under the chin and I’ll be giving ye every secret the department has. Then our den mother definitely wouldn’t be sendin’ ye a Christmas card would she?”

“She’d ‘ave me ass in the argor she cooks small children in before a hippogriff can shit.”

Niobe found herself just staring at this wizard.  This strange, chabbery wizard who seemed about as least-Auror-like as she'd ever met.  She was... awed.  Curious.  Both put-off and attracted at the same time.  She wanted to blame Jonas, but she felt like Ed Pratt here deserved the credit for this piece of work that he was. 

So it was to be sparring then? She washed away her blank look with another swig of her glass, larger this time, and came up looking refreshed and amused.

"'One tickle?'  I don't know what's more tantalizing - taking you up on that, or printing the line and seeing what falls out of it.  Me bollocks, you're a security risk..." She said it with deepest breathy compliments, leaning in closer as well.  He had a good smell on him.  She knew she smelled faintly of nag champa incense, which burned frequently in her flat.

"What cases are you on...?" she asked, starting slow.

Most people would have told Edward Pratt that making such comments and jokes in the presence of a reporter, to the reporter herself no doubt, wasn’t exactly his most sensible action since taking to a broom while exceedingly intoxicated. Most people would also realise that Edward Pratt wasn’t the type to listen to what they said and therefore he would ignore it. Something was interestingly quirky about the pretty dreadlocked woman in front of him and Ed was having fun.

“Ye think so?” He was no security risk. Ed was just more fun than the majority of his colleagues. He knew how to have a laugh and a flirt. He grinned at the woman, green eyes refusing to leave her own. “Only two people now know me secret, luv’. And one of them has an obliviator in the family.” The auror winked and took a long gulp of his ale.

The tankard paused at his lips after the liquid had slid down his throat. Merlin, this witch didn’t waste time with foreplay. An eyebrow tweaked upwards as he watched her over the glass, somewhat surprised. She wasn’t kidding. It took a moment to consider her before the glass was carefully placed back on the bar and the corners of Ed’s lips perked up to form a small smirk.

“Right now? Your’s.” The wizard’s eyes narrowed as he thought for a moment. “What cases have ye been responsible for publically disclosing the details of?”

Niobe finished off her drink and tapped the glass on the counter for another.  "Next round's on me."  Classy date. 

She rested her chin on the heel of her hand and looked him over after his fresh accusation.  Charming man!  Evading a most exciting interrogation with a wink and a smile.  Got her a bit giddy but all the more interested in the chase.

"Oh y'know," she said with a mock bashfulness, not at all ashamed of the times she'd crossed the MLE and their protocol.  "Got out ahead of the Runespoor explosion, and more recently I popped the Grosvenor murder in the early edition.  All in a day's work - public's got a right to know..." she said with a cocky smile.

"The chase is a wonderful thing.  I'd love to play fair one of these days, but you people make it very very tricky when you hold all the cards."

Eyebrows rose once more as the woman lacking distinct feminine grace banged her glass on the bar as a non verbal signal to the barkeep to refill it. She didn’t waste effort of social etiquette and surprisingly, Edward found it refreshing. He’d spent years married to a woman from a posh, socially upstanding rich family who cared about how the public perceived them. Quincy hadn’t been like that half as much, but her family had been. This Nobby reporter witch didn’t appear to care.

Before he knew it, the eyes were watching him as the woman’s chin rested on her hand. She looked to be analysing him and he took a final swig of the ale, drowning the final dregs and placing it back on the bar.

“We don’t hold all the cards, luv.” Ed quietly informed his date, resting an elbow on the bar beside him. “We just know how to play the cards we have. It’s like a race. We find the cards first and do what we think is best with them or you find them first and do what you think is best.” He flashed his pearly whites with his usual broad cheeky grin, eyes sparkling. “We’re just considerably better at card games.”

“The public don’t need to know everythin’, Nobby. There’s tellin’ them what they need to know and inspirin’ unnecessary panic. We focus on doin’ the former. Ticklin’ excluded.”

"Easy to play when you're allowed to shoot people!" she said with a snap of her fingers, then pointing at him.  Augh, but she should drop this.  She was at play, not at work, and she'd never have a chance at a proper relationship if she kept on accosting him.  She wiped her face with her hand and wrinkled her nose.

"Sorry... Timeturner?"

The new drinks arrived and Niobe stopped her tongue from more anti-social grandstanding by taking a sip.

"I'm kind of shit at this.  Don't get me wrong - I've had boyfriends, just, they've all been bats and belfries.  You seem far more...practiced.  You're nice."

To say Ed was relieved that the attempt at questioning had ceased would be spot on. He didn’t mind it so much but this was a date, not a job interview. It was a date with an interestingly quirky woman no less. And wasn’t it quirky! The experience so far hadn’t gone as expected but that didn’t mean Pratt wasn’t enjoying himself. Nobby was refreshing if a little eager.

“I can confidently tell you I haven’t had boyfriends so I’m more inexperienced than you, ‘ent I?” Ed flashed the witch a grin as he pondered telling her his own experience with dating. That he hadn’t been on a real date with a witch. Ever. His ex-wife didn’t exactly count.

Ignoring his drink for the moment, Ed sat up straight on his barstool and dug hands into the pockets of his slightly shabby black robes. “I’m nice? I ‘ent so sure whether to take that as a compliment or a boot to me ego, luv. Handsome, chamin’, delectable, outrageously intelligent and quick witted, all words I wouldn’t complain if you used to describe me.” The auror paused and pulled a face, his features screwing up in fake disdain. “But nice? I ‘ent a friggin huffelpuff, lady.”

“Now,” Pratt decided to continue, withdrawing his left hand from its pocket and pointing his index finger in his date’s direction. “words to describe you. Refreshin’. Eager.” With each word the auror’s cheeky grin grew as his green eyes analysed her carefully. “Tempted. Defiant. Endearin’.”

Maybe Niobe had turned her broom clear round, but Ed certainly hadn't.  And why should he? What he was doing was working for him - his silvery tongue and winking eyes had hexed her speechless again.  She stared at him with her mouth open in an unashamed grin.  It was charming, it was frighteningly titilating, but it... it was... silly somehow. 

Then in a flash, she big her lip and socked him with her balled up little fist in his shoulder.  "Stoppit!" she laughed through her teeth.  "You don't need to do that.  I'm sold, alright? I'm here aren't I? All this fast-talking, Casanova seduction? C'mon, mate.  Not that kind of witch."

She stepped down off the tippy barstool, and nodded her head towards the passage back to Diagon Ally.  "C'mon.  Let's go be silly."

She suspected he'd take it as a sexual invitation, and well, if that got him to come along then all the better.  Sex wasn't what she was aiming for, she just wanted to get them out of the stuffy bar.  She felt fidgety.  Plus, how could she know a wizard who is only sitting?

Each word seemed to be dragging Nobby in hook, line and stinker. Pratt wasn’t practiced at dating. He’d married the only woman he’d dated and divorced her a year ago. He was, however, practiced at flirting. Marriage didn’t mean you couldn’t look. Marriage didn’t mean you couldn’t talk. Marriage certainly didn’t mean you couldn’t flirt. Perhaps that flirting with pretty ladies had gotten back to Quincy which is why he’d been dipped head first into the hot water and flesh eating squid with her.

But now Ed was here, a thirty-two year old divorcé with 3 kids and an empty coin bag. He was giving the eager reporter his flirty talk and she seemed to love it. Her face, aghast at how amazing she obviously thought he was. Every woman did. It was a curse Eddie happened to have. Women falling at his feet thanks to a mere cheeky smile. This one didn’t seem far off. She’d even told him she was sold after ramming a balled up fist into his shoulder.

Then Nobby stepped down from the stool and proceeded to suggest they go and ‘be silly’. Instinctively, Ed’s eyes widened, his eyebrows shooting upwards to cause several creases to be formed across his forehead. Not exactly sure what ‘be silly’ meant, he jumped down from his stool with eagerness.

He didn’t however start off towards the alleyway. Instead he remained stood in front of the stool, watching Miss Thursby, hands buried deep in his robe pockets.
“I don’t know, luv’. A fumble in knockturn alley’s summit’ I did in me teens.” The deadpan expression morphed into a cheeky smirk. “Do I look like the kind o’wizard to do silly then?”