[March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Tags: Fauna Blake Baxter Fox March 2009 March 15 2009 Werewolf Rumor Ides of March Aftermath Read 546 times / 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. on April 20, 2011, 01:05:32 PM Baxter had heard about Fauna being in Mungo's. He felt awful- guilty, really. If he hadn't gone on his whole "Fauna Blake is a werewolf" tirade, she wouldn't have been locked up there and she wouldn't have gotten hurt. Imagine what would have happened if she had gotten bitten and turned- all because of him. When Baxter had heard that she was back on campus- he decided that he really needed to talk to her, and let her know that he didn't mean for things to get so out of hand. Let her know he was wrong.Apologizing was never an easy task- no matter who he was apologizing to or what he was saying. Admitting that you were wrong was always difficult, especially when Baxter was so accustomed to always being right. He was Ackerly Fox's son, after all. And his dad had always been the same way. It was why his mom had always impressed upon him the importance of admitting when you were wrong and making sure that he always apologized properly.After finishing the last of his homework that morning, he headed down toward the Hospital Hut. Baxter hoped that there weren't a large number of her friends around. They were probably not going to be happy with him- but he could take the heat. Doing what was right was important.He trudged down the castle grounds, half glad not to see a familiar face, but equally paranoid that it meant all the familiar faces were spending time with Fauna. When he got to the hospital hut, he slipped in, and it wasn't long before Baxter caught sight of Fauna. He paused for a moment. Baxter knew that she was not going to be happy to see him- he didn't blame her, either. What was the best way to handle this, he wondered? Baxter cleared his throat (hopefully his voice wouldn't go all squawky this time). "Can you spare a few minutes?" he asked awkwardly, waiting on her to yell at him to bugger off. Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #1 on April 21, 2011, 07:07:51 PM After returning to campus Friday night, Fauna had spent the weekend at the hospital hut, resting and catching up on the work she'd missed. Right now, she was lounging on the couch in the living area, reading. She heard the door open and perked up, hoping a friend had stopped by, or that Tulo was back from getting supplies.Her expression darkened and her shoulders tensed the instant she saw Baxter Fox. Fauna looked back down at the pages of her book, determined to ignore him. He wasn't bleeding or visibly injured. He could stand there and twiddle his thumbs while he waited for Tulo, for all she cared. Or the house elf could deal with him. With any luck, he'd leave soon.But he cleared his throat and she could feel him staring at her. Lovely. He probably wanted to ask her what had happened at the Ministry, if she'd been bitten, and to inform her that she didn't belong here. And if that happened, Fauna was certain she'd lose it and hex him this time."No. I'm busy right now." Busy reading the Slither Girls series, that's right. "Go accuse someone else," she muttered, giving him a murderous look. Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #2 on April 21, 2011, 07:23:04 PM Baxter wasn't surprised that she'd reacted that way. He deserved it, he'd admit that. "I wasn't here to accuse you of anything," he said- voice strained. It was hard not to get angry right back. But the more angry he got, the more likely his voice was to squawk off. And he didn't want to have his voice cracking the whole time he was trying to do this."I know that what happened is my fault," he said to Fauna. "And I just... I needed to tell you that I didn't mean for all that to happen, that I was wrong, and that I am sorry." Baxter knew that an apology wasn't going to fix any of this. But it needed to be said."I don't have a whole lot of social skills, Fauna. I never have. But I am at least aware that an apology isn't going to fix any negative feelings you have for me. And I don't really think that it should fix what happened. But even so, I was always taught by my dad and my mother to do the right thing. I didn't do the right thing when I let myself get carried away and accused you of being a werewolf. There were better ways to do it. And I'd be doing the wrong thing if I didn't tell you that I was sorry- and that I mean it." Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #3 on May 02, 2011, 02:47:45 AM Why was he talking? Fauna continued glaring at him, waiting for him to get the picture and leave. Then his words started to sink in, and her expression turned shocked and baffled.Baxter Fox had just walked in and apologized. This third-year, with a werewolf-hating father, someone she barely knew and certainly didn't worry over much, had told her exactly what she'd needed to hear from Sasha. No prompting. No cornering in hospital rooms.Fauna slammed her book shut, sitting up with a grimace. She felt like the cornered one now, and didn't want to worry about any emotions that weren't hers at the moment. She looked at his earnest, serious face, and then looked away, swallowing. "Why? Why do you think I... care about what you're feeling, or what the right thing is?" Throwing him a frustrated, sad look, she ran her hand through her hair and cast a glance at the door. Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #4 on May 02, 2011, 08:40:20 AM Baxter wasn't surprised that she had reacted how she did. He took a small step back whenever she slammed her book shut. "You shouldn't care how I feel," he agreed. "If I were in your shoes, I know that I wouldn't care. But I think you do care about what the right thing is," he told her."I've heard that you want to be an auror, and if you want to do that, then you have to care about right and wrong. It's part of the job. And I think that if you didn't care about what was right or wrong, that you wouldn't even consider that as a career choice," he told her, quite seriously.But he could tell that he was bothering her. Her facial expressions, and the strong body language were telling him that. (It had to be obvious or he would never, ever pick up on it.) "I didn't come here to further distress you," Baxter reassured the older Hufflepuff. "I only came here to let you know that I was wrong, that I shouldn't have done what I did, and that I am very glad that something worse didn't come from your stay at the ministry.""I'll go now, if that's what you want," Baxter told her. "But I thought you deserved the chance to give me a piece of your mind. I know that it would make me feel better, if I were in your shoes." Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #5 on May 02, 2011, 05:31:58 PM "Baxter, wait," she sighed. She'd seen him take a step back. Despite the moment of smug satisfaction, she wasn't in the habit of scaring third-years and didn't want to start anytime soon. Even if that third-year was Baxter Fox.The boy sounded so naive, like right and wrong was simple to figure out, like all Aurors (or wannabe Aurors) understood the difference, like an apology was always going to be the start of fixing things or making someone feel better. And he looked so serious about it, too. Fauna didn't want to burst his bubble, and had a strong suspicion that she acted just as naive at times. There was just something he'd said earlier that she couldn't leave alone."I'm not going to... yell at you. You already know what you did. Which is more than I can say for some people..." Fauna trailed off bitterly."You made a mistake. But... it wasn't just you."Fauna glanced at him, looking tired, but not as upset as she had a few seconds ago. It felt so strange saying that out loud. She wanted to be angry at someone, but felt too mixed up about Greyfriar and even Bagnold to blame them, which left her with the easy targets of Baxter and Sasha. Of course, continuing the blame game depended on everyone keeping their proper distance, and that was just not happening on all sides. Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #6 on May 06, 2011, 12:02:30 PM Baxter was glad that Fauna was not going to yell at him. Even though he knew that he deserved it, he would rather not have to sit there and listen to it. Mostly because he wouldn't know the proper way to react. Baxter did not get infuriated like most would, and it would not make him feel any more guilty. He was already aware that he had been in the wrong. And he had done what he could to rectify the situation."Everyone makes mistakes," he said to her. "Some are simply bigger than others." He wasn't sure what to say at this point. So he fidgeted awkwardly, trying to remember what he had been taught about situations like this. Well- situations similar to this. It wasn't every day that someone made a mistake in a werewolf accusation and then ended up getting that person attacked.Baxter offered a very weak, incredibly awkward smile. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Baxter asked. "I feel like there is something I should do- or try to do. But I don't know what to do. I'm not good with social situations- in case you have not noticed." Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #7 on May 07, 2011, 12:12:54 AM He got it. He understood. Thank Merlin she didn't have to explain what he could have done differently, or reassure him that he couldn't be blamed completely for what had happened to her.Fauna paused, giving him a surprised look. His offer to help actually sounded sweet. She rubbed at her forehead, a little overwhelmed by this bizarre turn of events."Um, well," she shrugged. "You could, maybe... speak up if people start talking about me again. I haven't been in the castle yet but I bet it's just crazy with... whispers, rumors, that kind of stuff. I mean, if you overhear someone going oh, Fauna got stuck in a lift with two werewolves and had to climb her way out! -Which didn't happen, by the way. You could be like... let's change the subject, or just tell them to be quiet."Fauna shrugged again, feeling funny about telling him how to act. However, if he really wanted to help, beyond apologizing, that was something concrete he could do. It wouldn't be easy for him, she thought. Her friends would probably get peeved at him for saying anything at all, and the other students would likely laugh him off."Be careful around the older years, though," she added. He might be taller than her, but he was still younger. Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #8 on May 10, 2011, 06:18:15 PM Baxter nodded when Fauna suggested he could speak up. "I will. And I'll be the first to tell them that I was wrong," he assured her. "And I'm not really afraid of the older years. I'm used to getting picked on some. It happens a lot when you're more concerned with homework than you are with other things. Besides- I generally don't put myself into situations where I'll be around potentially dangerous people like Knight." Most of the Knights, anyway. Blake was harmless. But it was hard to believe that he was a Knight at all."I think that's the least I could do," Baxter confessed. At least she had offered something- and was being decent to him. The Ravenclaw wasn't sure how the Hufflepuff was going to react- this was better than he had expected."I'm glad that you're being nice to me, even after everything," Baxter told her. Whether or not it was appropriate, he didn't care. "I wouldn't be nice to me if I were in your shoes. I'd be angry and make Madam Nadge make me go away." Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #9 on May 10, 2011, 10:49:55 PM Fauna shrugged, slightly uncomfortable. She wasn't sure why she was treating him nicely. It might have been his apology, the way he'd apologized, his age, the fact he wasn't Sasha, or maybe she just didn't want to be angry."Well, you didn't fail my LRE. I did," she admitted in a mumble. "You didn't prepare the wolfsbane, and you weren't in charge of making sure the werewolves stayed in their cells. You sent in some letters and yeah, it was shitty, and... at least you realize that."Greyfriar hadn't blamed her for being one of the reasons why he'd been outside on a full moon in October, after all. She just didn't feel like laying the blame on Baxter for something he couldn't have predicted or wanted.Fauna picked up her book, flipping through it to find where she'd left off. "We're not going to be buddies, you know? But you don't have to worry about me cursing your name in the corridors now."She glanced at him, one corner of her mouth twitching up. Skip to next post Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #10 on May 13, 2011, 09:30:47 AM Baxter couldn't help the sigh of relief and the genuine smile when she said that he didn't have to worry about being cursed in the hallway. He didn't expect to be best friends with Fauna- far from it- but he was glad that he could, at the very least, hope for civility. It said so much about her as a person that she was able to treat him so well after what he had done. "Thank you, Fauna," he said. "I just needed to talk to you. It was important to me," he said. "But I understand you've got a lot of work to catch up on, and you probably need a lot of rest after the week you've had. I'm going to head back to the castle now," Baxter stated. "And I will do my best to tell people not to gossip. I can see now what happens. And it's not like me- to gossip like that. I was raised better. I hope you start feeling better soon," Baxter offered. "So that you can resume life as normal. And if you do decide to be an auror, I think you would be a good one." He smiled again- because he meant it, and in Baxter's opinion he knew what made a good auror. His father was a good auror, and his grandfather had been a good auror- and if Baxter followed in his father's footsteps, he would be a good auror too. (Though he wasn't sure if he was going to keep up the tradition or not.)He gave her an awkward wave before turning to leave the hospital hut. He had done what he set out to do- and surprisingly he felt a lot better about the situation. Baxter couldn't believe how nice and civil Fauna had been. He was going to write to his father about it, and write an apology to the ministry later for causing everything. He knew they had to feel guilty about things getting out of hand and a little girl getting attacked. (Even if Fauna wasn't really so little.) Skip to next post
[March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. on April 20, 2011, 01:05:32 PM Baxter had heard about Fauna being in Mungo's. He felt awful- guilty, really. If he hadn't gone on his whole "Fauna Blake is a werewolf" tirade, she wouldn't have been locked up there and she wouldn't have gotten hurt. Imagine what would have happened if she had gotten bitten and turned- all because of him. When Baxter had heard that she was back on campus- he decided that he really needed to talk to her, and let her know that he didn't mean for things to get so out of hand. Let her know he was wrong.Apologizing was never an easy task- no matter who he was apologizing to or what he was saying. Admitting that you were wrong was always difficult, especially when Baxter was so accustomed to always being right. He was Ackerly Fox's son, after all. And his dad had always been the same way. It was why his mom had always impressed upon him the importance of admitting when you were wrong and making sure that he always apologized properly.After finishing the last of his homework that morning, he headed down toward the Hospital Hut. Baxter hoped that there weren't a large number of her friends around. They were probably not going to be happy with him- but he could take the heat. Doing what was right was important.He trudged down the castle grounds, half glad not to see a familiar face, but equally paranoid that it meant all the familiar faces were spending time with Fauna. When he got to the hospital hut, he slipped in, and it wasn't long before Baxter caught sight of Fauna. He paused for a moment. Baxter knew that she was not going to be happy to see him- he didn't blame her, either. What was the best way to handle this, he wondered? Baxter cleared his throat (hopefully his voice wouldn't go all squawky this time). "Can you spare a few minutes?" he asked awkwardly, waiting on her to yell at him to bugger off. Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #1 on April 21, 2011, 07:07:51 PM After returning to campus Friday night, Fauna had spent the weekend at the hospital hut, resting and catching up on the work she'd missed. Right now, she was lounging on the couch in the living area, reading. She heard the door open and perked up, hoping a friend had stopped by, or that Tulo was back from getting supplies.Her expression darkened and her shoulders tensed the instant she saw Baxter Fox. Fauna looked back down at the pages of her book, determined to ignore him. He wasn't bleeding or visibly injured. He could stand there and twiddle his thumbs while he waited for Tulo, for all she cared. Or the house elf could deal with him. With any luck, he'd leave soon.But he cleared his throat and she could feel him staring at her. Lovely. He probably wanted to ask her what had happened at the Ministry, if she'd been bitten, and to inform her that she didn't belong here. And if that happened, Fauna was certain she'd lose it and hex him this time."No. I'm busy right now." Busy reading the Slither Girls series, that's right. "Go accuse someone else," she muttered, giving him a murderous look. Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #2 on April 21, 2011, 07:23:04 PM Baxter wasn't surprised that she'd reacted that way. He deserved it, he'd admit that. "I wasn't here to accuse you of anything," he said- voice strained. It was hard not to get angry right back. But the more angry he got, the more likely his voice was to squawk off. And he didn't want to have his voice cracking the whole time he was trying to do this."I know that what happened is my fault," he said to Fauna. "And I just... I needed to tell you that I didn't mean for all that to happen, that I was wrong, and that I am sorry." Baxter knew that an apology wasn't going to fix any of this. But it needed to be said."I don't have a whole lot of social skills, Fauna. I never have. But I am at least aware that an apology isn't going to fix any negative feelings you have for me. And I don't really think that it should fix what happened. But even so, I was always taught by my dad and my mother to do the right thing. I didn't do the right thing when I let myself get carried away and accused you of being a werewolf. There were better ways to do it. And I'd be doing the wrong thing if I didn't tell you that I was sorry- and that I mean it." Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #3 on May 02, 2011, 02:47:45 AM Why was he talking? Fauna continued glaring at him, waiting for him to get the picture and leave. Then his words started to sink in, and her expression turned shocked and baffled.Baxter Fox had just walked in and apologized. This third-year, with a werewolf-hating father, someone she barely knew and certainly didn't worry over much, had told her exactly what she'd needed to hear from Sasha. No prompting. No cornering in hospital rooms.Fauna slammed her book shut, sitting up with a grimace. She felt like the cornered one now, and didn't want to worry about any emotions that weren't hers at the moment. She looked at his earnest, serious face, and then looked away, swallowing. "Why? Why do you think I... care about what you're feeling, or what the right thing is?" Throwing him a frustrated, sad look, she ran her hand through her hair and cast a glance at the door. Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #4 on May 02, 2011, 08:40:20 AM Baxter wasn't surprised that she had reacted how she did. He took a small step back whenever she slammed her book shut. "You shouldn't care how I feel," he agreed. "If I were in your shoes, I know that I wouldn't care. But I think you do care about what the right thing is," he told her."I've heard that you want to be an auror, and if you want to do that, then you have to care about right and wrong. It's part of the job. And I think that if you didn't care about what was right or wrong, that you wouldn't even consider that as a career choice," he told her, quite seriously.But he could tell that he was bothering her. Her facial expressions, and the strong body language were telling him that. (It had to be obvious or he would never, ever pick up on it.) "I didn't come here to further distress you," Baxter reassured the older Hufflepuff. "I only came here to let you know that I was wrong, that I shouldn't have done what I did, and that I am very glad that something worse didn't come from your stay at the ministry.""I'll go now, if that's what you want," Baxter told her. "But I thought you deserved the chance to give me a piece of your mind. I know that it would make me feel better, if I were in your shoes." Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #5 on May 02, 2011, 05:31:58 PM "Baxter, wait," she sighed. She'd seen him take a step back. Despite the moment of smug satisfaction, she wasn't in the habit of scaring third-years and didn't want to start anytime soon. Even if that third-year was Baxter Fox.The boy sounded so naive, like right and wrong was simple to figure out, like all Aurors (or wannabe Aurors) understood the difference, like an apology was always going to be the start of fixing things or making someone feel better. And he looked so serious about it, too. Fauna didn't want to burst his bubble, and had a strong suspicion that she acted just as naive at times. There was just something he'd said earlier that she couldn't leave alone."I'm not going to... yell at you. You already know what you did. Which is more than I can say for some people..." Fauna trailed off bitterly."You made a mistake. But... it wasn't just you."Fauna glanced at him, looking tired, but not as upset as she had a few seconds ago. It felt so strange saying that out loud. She wanted to be angry at someone, but felt too mixed up about Greyfriar and even Bagnold to blame them, which left her with the easy targets of Baxter and Sasha. Of course, continuing the blame game depended on everyone keeping their proper distance, and that was just not happening on all sides. Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #6 on May 06, 2011, 12:02:30 PM Baxter was glad that Fauna was not going to yell at him. Even though he knew that he deserved it, he would rather not have to sit there and listen to it. Mostly because he wouldn't know the proper way to react. Baxter did not get infuriated like most would, and it would not make him feel any more guilty. He was already aware that he had been in the wrong. And he had done what he could to rectify the situation."Everyone makes mistakes," he said to her. "Some are simply bigger than others." He wasn't sure what to say at this point. So he fidgeted awkwardly, trying to remember what he had been taught about situations like this. Well- situations similar to this. It wasn't every day that someone made a mistake in a werewolf accusation and then ended up getting that person attacked.Baxter offered a very weak, incredibly awkward smile. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Baxter asked. "I feel like there is something I should do- or try to do. But I don't know what to do. I'm not good with social situations- in case you have not noticed." Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #7 on May 07, 2011, 12:12:54 AM He got it. He understood. Thank Merlin she didn't have to explain what he could have done differently, or reassure him that he couldn't be blamed completely for what had happened to her.Fauna paused, giving him a surprised look. His offer to help actually sounded sweet. She rubbed at her forehead, a little overwhelmed by this bizarre turn of events."Um, well," she shrugged. "You could, maybe... speak up if people start talking about me again. I haven't been in the castle yet but I bet it's just crazy with... whispers, rumors, that kind of stuff. I mean, if you overhear someone going oh, Fauna got stuck in a lift with two werewolves and had to climb her way out! -Which didn't happen, by the way. You could be like... let's change the subject, or just tell them to be quiet."Fauna shrugged again, feeling funny about telling him how to act. However, if he really wanted to help, beyond apologizing, that was something concrete he could do. It wouldn't be easy for him, she thought. Her friends would probably get peeved at him for saying anything at all, and the other students would likely laugh him off."Be careful around the older years, though," she added. He might be taller than her, but he was still younger. Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #8 on May 10, 2011, 06:18:15 PM Baxter nodded when Fauna suggested he could speak up. "I will. And I'll be the first to tell them that I was wrong," he assured her. "And I'm not really afraid of the older years. I'm used to getting picked on some. It happens a lot when you're more concerned with homework than you are with other things. Besides- I generally don't put myself into situations where I'll be around potentially dangerous people like Knight." Most of the Knights, anyway. Blake was harmless. But it was hard to believe that he was a Knight at all."I think that's the least I could do," Baxter confessed. At least she had offered something- and was being decent to him. The Ravenclaw wasn't sure how the Hufflepuff was going to react- this was better than he had expected."I'm glad that you're being nice to me, even after everything," Baxter told her. Whether or not it was appropriate, he didn't care. "I wouldn't be nice to me if I were in your shoes. I'd be angry and make Madam Nadge make me go away." Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #9 on May 10, 2011, 10:49:55 PM Fauna shrugged, slightly uncomfortable. She wasn't sure why she was treating him nicely. It might have been his apology, the way he'd apologized, his age, the fact he wasn't Sasha, or maybe she just didn't want to be angry."Well, you didn't fail my LRE. I did," she admitted in a mumble. "You didn't prepare the wolfsbane, and you weren't in charge of making sure the werewolves stayed in their cells. You sent in some letters and yeah, it was shitty, and... at least you realize that."Greyfriar hadn't blamed her for being one of the reasons why he'd been outside on a full moon in October, after all. She just didn't feel like laying the blame on Baxter for something he couldn't have predicted or wanted.Fauna picked up her book, flipping through it to find where she'd left off. "We're not going to be buddies, you know? But you don't have to worry about me cursing your name in the corridors now."She glanced at him, one corner of her mouth twitching up. Skip to next post
Re: [March 15] Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Reply #10 on May 13, 2011, 09:30:47 AM Baxter couldn't help the sigh of relief and the genuine smile when she said that he didn't have to worry about being cursed in the hallway. He didn't expect to be best friends with Fauna- far from it- but he was glad that he could, at the very least, hope for civility. It said so much about her as a person that she was able to treat him so well after what he had done. "Thank you, Fauna," he said. "I just needed to talk to you. It was important to me," he said. "But I understand you've got a lot of work to catch up on, and you probably need a lot of rest after the week you've had. I'm going to head back to the castle now," Baxter stated. "And I will do my best to tell people not to gossip. I can see now what happens. And it's not like me- to gossip like that. I was raised better. I hope you start feeling better soon," Baxter offered. "So that you can resume life as normal. And if you do decide to be an auror, I think you would be a good one." He smiled again- because he meant it, and in Baxter's opinion he knew what made a good auror. His father was a good auror, and his grandfather had been a good auror- and if Baxter followed in his father's footsteps, he would be a good auror too. (Though he wasn't sure if he was going to keep up the tradition or not.)He gave her an awkward wave before turning to leave the hospital hut. He had done what he set out to do- and surprisingly he felt a lot better about the situation. Baxter couldn't believe how nice and civil Fauna had been. He was going to write to his father about it, and write an apology to the ministry later for causing everything. He knew they had to feel guilty about things getting out of hand and a little girl getting attacked. (Even if Fauna wasn't really so little.) Skip to next post