Note:  This letter was hand-delivered to Sasha Schlagenweit inside the walls of Hogwarts castle, by a lackey of Vedir Prideaux's, Hogwarts Governor, at the request of one well-paying Kronos Malvivicus.

---

Dearest Sasha,

Happy new year; it is your old friend in the North!  I hope you're staying warm and indulging in delicious foods.  Your absence, especially at meal times, has been felt most thoroughly!  I would have sent along a basket of pastries, but it's just so important for us to be discrete now.  You've seen how little people understand about us, I could hardly doubt.  My name is legend, Sasha, and my place is not among men!  The common crowds do not understand figures of our ilk.  Though you know me, and you know enough to know that I'm a friend to you.  If there is anything that you need at any time, Sasha, please ask.

I'm afraid that visits will be out of the question for some time, but I am always just an owl away.  If you wish to reach me, you can send an owl to this name and address:

Jerome K. P.
To his penthouse window, owl perch
77 Glassford Street
Glasgow G1 1BQ
United Kingdom

It was such a pleasure to meet with your good friend Ferguson at the Festival.  I didn't get a chance to tell you just how fond I am of him.  I do hope you will keep him close. 

You may be wondering if I had received word of your great victory over death.  I can only applaud you for a deft display of skill in self-defense, and assure you that through confusing changes the stars lay a path.  Your path is bright onward from here, Sasha, and you have shown your strength.  I could not be more proud of you, son.  It is the difficult situations in life that shape a man's character, and you have done well.

Please write when you can.  It would be best to not tell others that we're keeping contact; they would only seek to cause you trouble, as well-meaning as they may be.  You must know there is no harm in our friendship.

Bye for now.

K.

P.S! - Aero "says" hello.  Rest assured your boy is receiving the best of care in your absence.  I can tell he misses you.

Sasha S.
7th Year Herbology Greenhouse
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

Jerome K. P.
Penthouse window
77 Glassford Street
Glasgow G1 1BQ
United Kingdom

Hello,

I'm sorry my delay in writing back to you - things have been confusing here in so many different ways and I don't really know what to think anymore.  I really am hoping and trusting you are being honest with me.   It seems only fair, then, that I am honest with you. 

You're right in thinking people here don't understand - they've been encouraging me not to be in communication with you anymore.  In some cases they've outright forbidden it.  These are people I trust - but, then, I also trust you.  I was afraid of betraying and disappointing them, so it took me a few days to convince myself to respond.  It then took a few more days to find enough time to do so without getting caught or interrupted.  This letter has taken several drafts and I'm still not certain of it.  As I've said, things are really confusing and I've been feeling a little lost and out of control. 

Ferguson has been an almost constant presence these last couple of weeks.  He was around almost all the time the week following Christmas.  The Ministry had me under protective custody between Christmas and returning to school so I wasn't really allowed to leave the house unescorted - and really didn't leave much, at all.  Ferguson visited almost every day, though. 

I'm afraid I don't share your sense of pride in my actions.  I don't know - I haven't really talked about it much and I'm not sure I'm ready to, yet.  I feel guilty more than anything and angry at myself.  I keep thinking to myself that it shouldn't have been that easy - that it was a life.  It should be significant.  And, I keep having nightmares.  On top of it all, the Ministry was supposed to keep everything that happened quiet but, somehow, it leaked to the Prophet.  I don't know if you saw the article[1] that came out the other day.  It started circling the Great Hall during lunch on a day I accidentally cursed another student in class. 

People are calling me a murderer.  Callum Knight - the boy whose letter you read during my stay - posted Azkaban wanted posters[2] with my picture all over school grounds.  They all have permanent sticking charms so Ravenclaw tower's really the only place I don't run into them.  It didn't help that, during a DADA class, Knight hexed Fergie while he was unarmed and I cast Turpiscarpo on Knight.  It all ended in a fight at lunch - Fergie got a broken nose and Knight destroyed my wand in front of everyone in the Great Hall.  So, I'm back to using the wand I started school with - it's not matched to me and we don't really get along.  But, the alternative is using the wand I 'won' off of the man I killed.  And, that just seems, I don't know.  Wrong. 

I don't know.  I'm feeling so lost and, like I've said, out of control.  Like I keep tripping but, when I try to get back up on my feet, I just trip and fall even harder.  And, I don't really know how to go about setting it right.  Half the time, I just want to give up and leave Hogwarts.  The other half I'm just reminding myself how far behind on everything I am.  I don't know.

I'm glad to hear Aero's doing well and I miss him, as well.  I do hope to be able to continue schooling him sometime.  He has a lot of prospects, I believe.  I'd love to see how he'd do in a training level competition one day.

- Sasha S

1.	Daily Prophet Article
2.	Wanted Posters

This was also hand-delivered discretely to Sasha, in a blank sealed envelope, by a lackey of the Hogwarts Governor Vedir in exchange for money from Kronos.


Dearest Sasha,

Thank you for sharing so much in your letter.  I received it just yesterday morning, and what a delight it was!  There's no need for you to worry about the delay, however.  Again, you show talent through your actions, because it is always wisest to wait until the proper time. 

As you've undoubtedly noticed, things are not made easy for Wizards like you and me, precisely because people have such a hard time understanding us.  One thing I'd say, Sasha -- when the world is adversarial, it is never bad to watch out for your own bahooty.  Take Callum and your feelings of guilt over ending the intruder's attack on you -- in both instances you were protecting yourself against an outside attack.  Do you have the sense that you have always been on the defensive, and that that stance has been demanded of you?  My way of thinking is that when the world takes an offensive stance against you, you can either be sedate and do nothing -- and this is exactly as they all want -- or you can learn to be more actively defensive.  To take action against them. 

This is a little fact of life, a la me, that you shouldn't have to feel sorry for cursing a dirty Wizard who is coming at you with a wand.  If people are telling you to be quiet and polite about it, ask them just how saying "No thanks" is going to stop the harassment from Callum Knight.  Turpiscarpo can be proper for karmic justice, I think.  Just enough to drop and shock them, then they have another chance!  Sasha, for all that this rude and thoughtless boy has done to you, you were maybe even too kind to him.  As for the intruder, you did what you should have done.  You survived.  Believe me when I say that your life and your mind are more precious than that lad's, and that the better man won. 

Putting aside the wand for a moment, look at the practical accomplishments you've made.  You were unsure of your ability to cast any one of those spells, but when pressed, you succeeded!  This is a line of study that I have confidence you can master.  Don't let the confusion consume you if you can stop it from time to time, to try to see clearly about all of this.  You know you have a brilliant mind.  I for one cannot condemn your actions.  As you probably have guessed, curses are common in my line of work.  I have found that it is a form of art, a form of art for shaping the self into something better.  I think you may know what I mean, as a Ravenclaw.

This is why I would applaud you.  You must realize that you hold a special claim to this world, and that it is only right to assert yourself over those who would knock you down.  Still, I remember feeling similar things when I was in school, and nobody could understand me.  My personal advice would be nothing other than to practice asserting yourself whenever and however you can.  Learn to trust your own self more than anything else.  That will be the true source of your power.  Do what you know is good for you, because you deserve the best of everything.

What is preventing you from purchasing a new wand, Sasha?  I wish I could help you in some way.  I have access to so many wands, some very exotic, and it would be such a pleasure to pass one on to you, or to introduce you to the work of foreign wandmakers.  That probably will not be possible for some time at least.  Keep me informed on your wand status and I will try to see if there is anything that I might be able to do on my end of things.  Obviously, due to the sensitive nature of our friendship, we wouldn't want to have to explain any mysterious gifts that appear in your life.  You may think of asking an adult whom you trust if there is any way you could get yourself down to Diagon Alley for a replacement for now. 

It is important for you to be in school, and to take advantage of the knowledge around you now.  I'm of course so pleased to hear that Fergie has been keeping you company.  I hope you know that the two of you have my honest blessing.

I've gone on longer than I intended, but I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

K.

Sasha S.7th Year Herbology Greenhouse
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

Jerome K. P.
Penthouse window
77 Glassford Street
Glasgow G1 1BQ
United Kingdom

Hello,

I appreciate your words of advice and reassurance.  I suspect it's going to take some time to continue moving forward.  I keep rereading the letter and reminding myself I didn't really have time to consider other choices at that moment.  You're right.  He didn't really give me much of a choice.  It still feels ... I don't know.  And, now, more and more of my classmates seem to be questioning the situation.  One of the first years that used to look up to me all but ran away from me in fear the other day.  People seem more concerned with figuring out how I could have killed ... some are still saying murdered ... a former Death Eater than with the fact that I defended myself. 

I'm still processing everything - including everything you said.  Lately, though, I haven't had a whole lot of time to think.  Catching up with my studies has taken up most of my free time.  Gratefully, though, most of my professors have been very generous about letting me retake the midterms I missed back in December.  I just finished my last make up examination this afternoon.  With that, I think, I'm officially caught up.  I might even go to bed before one.

Between catching up with schoolwork, Quidditch practice and - well, I'll get to that in a moment - I haven't had time to get to Diagon Alley to purchase a new wand.  And, as much as I hate using it, the wand I got at Christmas works better than any of my other wands.  I don't really know why, since I found it just as randomly as I did my first wand.  But, maybe, over the holidays or something, I'll be able to go to Ollivander's.  I appreciate your offer to give me a wand - if it wouldn't raise too many questions, I would take you up on it.  But, for the time being, I'm managing with my old one.  It's kind of like an old, albeit dysfunctional, friend. 

I'm relieved to hear you approve so much of Ferguson.  And, I'm pleased.  And, I ... I guess mostly because I ended up kissing him back after the New Year's.  And, we talked a little bit last week and, I guess, we're officially dating.  No - not just a guess.  We are.  Dating.  We're keeping it quiet around school, though.  I'm not really ready for everyone to know.  I know that's probably disappointing but I'm still figuring it all out myself.  You're actually the first and only person I've told.  It still feels a little weird and this is all kind of new to me but, more than that, I am happy with him.  I'm planning on asking him out on our first 'official' date on Saturday - of course, there aren't exactly a lot of great, discrete date destinations in the castle.  I'll figure something out, though.   

Slowly, though, I think things are improving and getting better.  I hope you are doing well and it isn't too cold.  I remember how bitter that sea wind could be.  And, I do appreciate the kind words.

- Sasha S

Dearest Sasha,

Although it is all well and good to embrace your broken wand as an old friend, I would encourage you to think about using the wand you came across this Winter.  If for nothing else, you should keep it close, for use in a panic.  As you know, moments where you have to draw and incant before thinking do happen. 

Remember what I said to you, that the stars lay a path for Wizards like you.  That path is littered with many fateful things meant for your hands alone, like wands won.  Since we are being honest, I can tell you that I have a personal collection of wands won in the heat of battle -- they are all of a very fine craftsmanship, and more often than not once belonged to very powerful Wizards, as well as Witches.  You would benefit from reading some material on wandlore, if you haven't already.  Look particularly closely at the information surrounding the conquer of wands in combat.  If you still have the wand and it is holding itself in allegiance to you, then it is a very strong connection indeed.  The wand sensed your power, and chose you over its original owner.  Sasha, believe me when I say this is significant.  Very few Wizards have accomplished such a feat at your age.  Don't let anyone take that wand away from you.  What's for you doesn't go by you.

Now, having said all of that, I feel I must express my thoughts about something else.  When others have fear of you, Sasha, like Callum Knight or your little admirer, what that means is that they are sensing something in you.  Not something bad, but something powerful.  Not something dangerous, but something that is seeking for direction.  When people fear me, they are doing so because I am powerful.  You are powerful, therefor people fear you.  It is not the end of the world, however.  There are reasons for that.  Noble reasons.

I Know, and here I have to laugh, how shocking it can be to see people responding to you as though you were some sort of a monster, an untamed beast, a dire threat.  Allow me to speak plainly here.  People know that the man was a Death Eater and that he had just terminated your guardians and the little girl, yet they use the word "murdered" to describe your victory in battle over him.  Why do you think that is?  I don't think it's because taking a life is always wrong, and they are more moral than you.  I think that it is because they suddenly know that you are stronger and better than them, and that you can succeed even against a seasoned warrior who spent many years braving Azkaban.  That is nothing to be ashamed of.  It only goes to show that I wasn't wrong about you.  You are special.

I'm glad to hear that, by and large, your professors are allowing you to go through the work that you missed in December.  It is probably a good thing for you to keep busy in your studies now.  I hope that you'll find time to pursue your individual interests as well, for that can be incredibly important.  Although there is always a lot that they have available to learn, you have to ask who controls the flow of information, and what they hope you'll absorb.  The spells that save your life, like the ones I taught to you, you have to look for those on your own.  The library should be a good resource.  Remember, there are ways of getting to the information that is hidden, and hidden information is a powerhouse. 

Anyway, Sasha, your news about making Fergie your sweetheart is just pure dead brilliant.  I cannot even say how happy I am for you!  Please, tell me all about your new boyfriend.  I want to know everything there is to know!  Don't worry, I won't get judgy about your putting a silencing spell on it all.  I understand how others could make it difficult for the two of you, should they know.  You enjoy your time together.  Do you know about the Room of Requirement?

I am, by the way, staying rather toasty given the Northern weather this time of year.  I've been travelling and not spending very much time at the castle... not to worry though, I will always get your letters wherever I happen to be.  Make sure that you continue to keep these letters somewhere very private.  You don't need the extra trouble of being found talking to me.

I hope to hear from you again soon, dear boy.  It is no trouble at all -- and is in fact quite a pleasure -- to advise you.  Despite your confusing guardian situation, I hope you know that I will always do what I can to see that you are taken care of. 

Sincerely,

K.
 

Sasha S.
7th Year Herbology Greenhouse
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

Jerome K. P.
Penthouse window
77 Glassford Street
Glasgow G1 1BQ
United Kingdom

Hello,

I don't know if I'm supposed to be addressing you in some manner in letters but, I'm afraid, calling you Jerome just seems weird.  But, I know it's best not to use your real name so I've been simply using a vague greeting.  Please be assured that my doing so isn't an indication of a lack of caring on my part. 

As recommended, I found a book on wandlore in the library yesterday.  Wandlore seems much more complicated than I'd ever expected.  I had learned that my first wand wasn't attached to me because we'd never chosen each other a few months back, though I wish I'd known that as a first year.  I didn't even know what it was made of until I checked it in at the Ministry back in November.  But, I think I found what you were hoping I'd find.  By taking the wand from that other wizard, I've won it so it wants to be with me.  And, it doesn't matter that I didn't take the wand from the man with magic?  My parents had destroyed the new wand that Dreogan helped me buy - I only managed to get the man's wand because my dog had jumped him, knocking it from his hand. 

Is there anyway to find out what this wand is made of?  Other than having them check it at the Ministry?  Do you really have more than one wand?  The old ones don't, I don't know, leave you when you get a new one?  This might be a stupid question but wands don't get, well, jealous of each other?  On your recommendation, I have started carrying that wand with me though I still haven't actually used it.  Apart from a handful of occasions.  When I'm holding it, it's hard not to remember everything about the night when I got it and I'm still just trying to forget it all. 

I know you think I'm special and I do, truly, appreciate your support.  And, I don't exactly disagree.  In this instance - it was luck that I got away.  Nothing more.  If Baldur hadn't been there to attack him, I wouldn't have won.  And, once I had his wand, he was unarmed.  I'm hardly a duelist but even I know that's not a fair fight.  Even in our lessons, I rarely got a hit in with the other men and, excuse the muggle expression, but Terry could have mopped the floor with me if he hadn't held back.  The wand should really be Baldur's.  Except, I know dogs can't have wands. 

When you say hidden information, you mean the restricted section of the library?  As I'm sure you know, there's so much information in the library and I know the place pretty well.  Before this year, I used to spend most of my time outside of class there.  Unfortunately, this year, I seem to have lost favor with the librarian as well as the headmistress.  I think it'd take a miracle to get permission to get into the restricted section.  I assume it's somehow sealed or closed otherwise.  Right?  You can't just, I don't know, walk right in?  And, then, how do you even know where to start looking?  Or, can I find those spells out in the main section of the library, too?

While I'm not surprised, I am very glad you're happy about me dating Fergie.  I don't know how many people would, really, approve and it's nice to known someone as close to me as you does.  I know I can be a little dense in this area.  (Apparently, somehow I'd managed to date a girl for two months and then break up with her all before I even realized we were dating.  A little pathetic, I know.)  Fergie and I are in the same year so, obviously, we'd crossed paths before but, no offense, I kind of tried to avoid Slytherins before as a whole.  Callum Knight's more representative of my experiences with Slytherin house before this year.  Though, apparently, this year I seem to find myself around Slytherins more than my own house.  Strange.

But, I digress.  Fergie sat with me in the library back in September and, apparently, flirted with me the whole time.  Not that I had a clue.  But, I guess, he never gave up - which is lucky.  He's funny and cute and he has been one of the best sources of support this past month.  I love being around him, even if we aren't actually doing anything.  I've heard rumors of the Room of Requirement but most of the rumors seem to conclude with the room having been destroyed during the Battle of Hogwarts.  Is it really still there?  It sounds a lot like a holodeck which ... muggleborn dorks like me spend years dreaming of the prospects of one.  And, you mean for dates, right?  That could, really, solve a lot of problems and opens up the door to a lot of possibilities. 

I don't know how Dreogan would respond if he knew about me and Fergie.  He knows we're friends, of course, but I don't think he knows we're together.  I know how my parents would have reacted.  You saw how my father reacted to meeting you and his reaction only got worse after you left that night.  I know that's not representative of how Dreogan would respond but, even if he simply asked me to leave, it'd be bad enough.  I'm not sure where else I'd have to go.  Which means I'd end up a ward of the Ministry.   Fergie would, also, get in a lot of trouble with his parents if they found out and he has a sister here at school.  Really, that's as more a reason for the discretion as how the other students would respond. 

I'm glad to hear you're staying warm.  Where do you travel to, if I might ask?  Is it usually business?  Do you ever get to the south of Spain and Portugal?  My real loves are the mountains, of course - I could spend my whole life in the Alps and be happy.  But, when I need sun and warmth, the rocky shores along the Spanish and Portuguese Mediterranean coasts are some of my favorite spots.  And, yes, I have a secret love of the classic spanish horses.  I like warmbloods and competition but have always loved the classic baroque style. 

Yours Truly,

Sasha S.

Sasha dear,

I must apologize for the delay in my writing.  It has been a problematic time and my energies have been diverted.  I enjoyed your speaking of Spanish horses, but I'm afraid that warm beaches aren't typically my sort of thing.  I don't tan well, being a true and tried Scot from the Northerly lands, even further North than our castle actually.  But yes, I have spent some time in Tokyo recently, which is really one of my favorite locations on this little Earth of ours.  Mostly I have been travelling to take care of business, and a lot of that is relatively local.  Japan is really quite a terrific place I feel.  I would love to take you and Fergie there sometime in the future.

I do understand that your lettering of introductions are vague out of necessity, and would not assume that you mean to distance yourself from me.  Although the nature of our letters, should they be found, is quite plain, discretion does seem wise.  In directly naming me, it does call others who should see my name and yours in unison to feel explosive.  Ordinary people, Sasha, do tend to be hung up on generalities and words, the meaning of which they haven't even begun to fathom. 

That said, the only fear I have for your good name is if the letters coming towards me should be intercepted.  If you are sending owls regularly to others, especially in the aftermath of your ordeal, I doubt the Ministry would be so brash as to try to intercept one of your owls.  Once your letter reaches its close destination in Glasgow, you can be assured it is safe.  On my end of things, my name is hardly taboo.  Use your discretion as you see fit, but do know that whatever you choose to call me or however you choose to begin your letters will always be perfectly acceptable to me.

The name Jerome, to satisfy your curiosity, is not meant as a moniker for me.  Actually it is a name and address that is used in order to forward my mail safely.  It is prone to change with time, and I will gladly explain the process to you when we meet again in person.  Over parchment, I'm afraid I should keep from disclosing these kinds of details too copiously. 

Regarding the wand, I would say that its allegiance to you is likely solid if you are experiencing the closeness which you have described to me.  Even though you did not conquer the wand through magic, it found its way to your hand and then answered your call to action.  Do understand, Sasha, that if the wand was recalcitrant towards you, it would not have gone about saving your life.  Wands do have some sort of conscious direction to their actions.  If it saved your life, it meant to, as it was operating in relation to you and reacting to your personal magical energy.  It could have just as easily fizzled and failed you, but it didn't. 

The allegiance of a wand is not necessarily textbook material -- it depends on the situation, because the wand is as unique as you (though really, you are more unique than anything).  The dynamics between wand and Wizard, though, are as diverse as the relationships between people.  Take you and me for example.  So misunderstood, yet so aligned.  It is here where your intuition and your discretion come into play.  Is the wand yours, Sasha?  If you don't mind the emotional connections you have of that night, can you say the wand is yours?

There are indeed ways of finding the contents and, to some extent, the origins of the wand in your possession, and all without the need of consulting the authorities at the Ministry of Magic.  I have access to certain rare technologies myself, "friends in high places" and some such.  We can, with time, discover more about your mysterious possession, the wand.  And it is very likely, given your description, that the wand does have an odd, fateful connection to your path, Sasha.  In cases like this, it is most likely that the wand took an immediate attraction to you, because it was fated to fall into your hands from the very moment that it was created.

As for my collection and your questions of it, all very good questions, by the way, I'd say that, again, it depends on the wand.  Some of the wands will not work as well for me.  But in some cases I am able to go in and choose a wand from my display very carefully, and use it with the greatest results.  When the connection feels tired, I can then return the wand to a state of display and choose another, who will act as my friend for a time, and most devotedly.  Having a collection could, I presume, cause a sort of "jealousy" among the wands.  But the effect of that is all in how you relate to the whole, as well as to the particular specimens....  At a certain point, most of the wands will pick up on my energy and choose to coordinate, remembering, I like to think, the momentous change in allegiance.  They sense my power and my purpose for them, and most often will choose to comply to my bidding. 

I think it may have to do with the fact that they once were designed for Dark Wizards, and when I won their allegiance, I made a fundamental impression upon them.  When they sense the immediate future and my planning, as I like to think they do, they make a sort of decision whether or not they will be difficult with me.  The difficult ones, by nature, tend to stay in their place as displays.  The display always serves a purpose anyway, even if the particular wands are not in use.  Some of them, like I said, are very fine wands, some foreign, and often merely serve the purpose of intimidating clientele. 

I'm so happy to hear that you are keeping your wooden friend close at hand.  It is important that you keep it close, especially as without a collection you only have the one.  It is, Sasha, your best friend in a way.  I must reiterate, that you shouldn't let them to take it away.  Not if you can help it.  I understand that it is difficult, the associations, but with time your emotional difficulty may give way to a sense of purpose.

I will talk a lot of fate when I speak with you, candidly, because I know what you are going through, having gone through it myself when I was around your age.  Think what you will, but even a dog can be a harbinger of fate.  They may be wandless, but trust me when I say their interferences, causing you to inherit a wand and save your life, are not arbitrary or random in any way.  The stars do lay a path.  They lay a path for people like you, in all your rarity, even through the conduit of simple dogs.  Beasts exist for your purpose, as do wands, and as do guides like me.  You are, in every sense, king of this arrangement.  Don't you doubt your power for an instant.  I, for one, believe in you full-heartedly.

I may be able to arrange "miracles" here.  The restricted section is best accessed at night, carefully, under wand work.  But I may be able to arrange something with the Headmistress, to help your case.  I will also look into who is running the library, and if there are any possibilities there for me to take advantage of on your behalf.  The restricted section is so important I feel, and that class of spells so crucial for your self-protection that I really must insist on your pursuit of these resources.  Aside from wandlore and defensive spellwork, you would also benefit from certain histories which are not immediately available to the public students.  There were quite a few books from the restricted section which changed my view of societies, both Muggle and Magical, during my time at Hogwarts.  Perhaps these types of subjects would appeal to Ferguson as well. 

Now that you mention it, I must admit that I'm not sure whether or not the Room of Requirement was destroyed during the Battle of Hogwarts.  I could find out for you easily enough.  To be honest though, I haven't been within the halls of Hogwarts for over sixty years and have hardly concerned myself with the place until having found you, the first and only specimen worth my time, in Hogwarts or anywhere else in the world.  If you were to find it though, it would be on the seventh floor.  You have probably heard all sorts of rumors about it, but the circling thrice with true intention is the one I'd pay the closest attention to.  I did indeed mean for dates.  During my time at Hogwarts I had some rather lovely times there, and, sometimes it was with boys who would never be caught dead in the light of day with that sort of association threatening their reputation.  It is sometimes interesting to see what people are capable of.  As you know I do appreciate the male specimen of choice.  I had several partners then, but I do think it is good that you have a friend, and some stability in Fergie.

I had something like that once. 

Sasha, are you keeping well?  Are you well, emotionally?  If you need anything, do say so.  I will do my best to provide for you despite our odd circumstances.  I do not know very much about this man, Dreogan, and I'm very worried that you won't be taken care of properly.  If you could tell me more about your impressions of him, it may serve to put my mind at ease.  But, I hope that you do know, that I am here and able to operate upon your request.  You would not need to be a ward of the Ministry... I would take you in, if you would choose to be taken in by me.  If it weren't for you, actually, I would be tempted to make a big deal of my identity being revealed after more than seventy years of anonymity, but I feel that you are much too important to me for me to compromise my position.  I should like to be here for you.  I feel, that if only I could be your father....

I must turn over now.  If I apologized for going on too long before, well, my.  This is quite a bulky letter.  I just hope that you'll return something in kind, and there really is no need to match me in length.  Only be honest, Sasha, with me.  You can tell anything to me, really.  Judgement is not my job.  I should only want to truly support you.

Yours, with love,

K.

Sasha S.
7th Year Herbology Greenhouse
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

Jerome K. P.
Penthouse window
77 Glassford Street
Glasgow G1 1BQ
United Kingdom

Hello,


There's no need to apologize for the delay.  I'm not sure I could have gotten a letter discretely, anyway.  I stayed in the Hospital Hut all last week and, when I wasn't being questioned by Aurors here at school or escorted to the Ministry for more questioning, the Healer here was watching me like a hawk.  She even has a hawk or an eagle or something.  She was an Auror forever, herself, and is a little 'different.'  I'm not sure I could have gotten away with replying. 

I don't know if you heard about the girl that was killed at school last week.  For once, the Daily Prophet has actually managed to keep the details vague.  But, she'd been my friend.  Sort of.  Actually, I don't know if you remember, but Skeeter speculated she might be my half-sister.  That might not actually be the case, they now think.  But, that doesn't really matter anymore, I suppose. 

Ava Grosvenor had been acting strange all year - we hadn't really known each other much before.  I don't even think she knew I existed until she, well, kissed me during the quidditch house cup last year just to cheat so Slytherin could win.  Which, all seems so petty now.  I'm not really sure why, but we seemed to become friends but ... all year, something just seemed wrong.  Sometimes she was really friendly, sometimes she'd be as cruel and mean as any of the Slytherins had ever been.  But, you know, she always said she didn't remember those times.  She just would lose time or something.   

I tried to get her to get help but she always got so angry when I did.  I wish I'd tried harder but, when I got back from my visit with you, she didn't want anything to do with me.  It shouldn't have mattered, I know - but, I was barely dealing with my parents' death.  I tried to stop her on the night she died.  I even tried to disarm her or immobilize her or something but ... I don't know.  I wasn't good enough and ... maybe it's my fault for having my old wand.  I don't know.  But, she crucioed me, twice and took my wand.  I caught up with her in the forest but ... right when I got there, there'd been someone in the shadows.  They used my wand and they cursed her.  They used the same curse Ketsaros taught me - the one I used on the intruder. 

When the found me with her, they'd assumed I'd done it.  They wanted to kick me out of school but I don't think they are going to.  They don't know what happened and they don't know who it was.  One of the Aurors asked me about you and where I'd learned that curse and everything.  I'm pretty sure they were trying to blame it on you but I told them I knew you wouldn't have done it.  I don't know how much he believed me.  I'm not sure how much of all of that I really remember, even.  The Healer had me taking all these potions for being out in the cold all night in wet class robes. 

My old, first wand was broken during that whole thing.  I've gone through three wands so far, this year.  And, now I'm left with the one I won off of the intruder.  By necessity, I've started using it and I can't help but wonder if, had I just followed your advice before, things would have turned out differently.  I think I know the answer to that, though.  I'm sorry I hadn't listened to you.  Now, I think, the answer to your question is fairly clear.  Yes.  That wand is mine.  I'm not going to make that mistake, again.  I would like to learn its story one day, though.  If that really is possible. 

Fergie, once more, proved to be an invaluable source of support and comfort.  I know we haven't been together that long but, already, I can't imagine how I managed without him.  And, it wasn't that long ago that I did.  He was down at the Hospital Hut whenever he could get away from classes.  I honestly couldn't imagine wanting to be with anyone else.  You mentioned having had someone like that before.  If you don't mind me asking, who was it?  And, what happened? 

The question of how I'm doing emotionally would have been much easier to answer in my previous letter.  Things had gotten better but then, well, this.  Right now, I'm not sure.  I started back to classes on Monday but it's hard to feel connected anymore.  And, I'm terrified for my older sister. I know it's foolish to think I'm cursed but I couldn't stand the thought of something happening to her.  Just when I thought things were falling back into place, I feel completely out of control, again. 

But, please don't get the wrong idea about Dreogan.  He's very nice and he does care about me.  He didn't hesitate to take me in last Christmas and I am grateful to him and I am comfortable around him.  He can be very protective and that can be restrictive at times but I understand it's because he's worried.  Though I know he's amongst those would be least likely to understand about our continued communications, I trust him whole-heartedly.  But, I know he's under no obligation to 'keep me' if it - I become too burdensome.  He's already done so much more for me than my parents would have done for in a similar situation.  I am comfortable and happy where I am, now, but it is comforting to know you'd be willing to take me in if something were to happen and the situation changed.

Of course, for all I know, you could be my father.  Except, I know my mother was a muggle.  And, obviously, a woman.  Which, makes it highly unlikely.  I wouldn't object, though, if it were the case.  It would certainly simplify things. 

Yours Truly,

- Sasha

Happy Valentine's Day Sasha dear,

It is with regret that I learn of the troubles you've been experiencing, but I am also very glad that you have, again, come out of a difficult situation unharmed and all the wiser.  It sounds like you have been set up by somebody who was aligning themselves with the inferior Ashford fellow, and from your description of Ava's behavior and the fact that she was "losing time" as you say, I suspect that whoever attempted to frame you had had a hand in the castle for some months.  Do you remember exactly when you registered that Ava was having gaps in her memory?  I suspect, especially as she led you into the trap in an act of self-sacrifice it seems, that she was held under the Imperius curse.  She may have been Imperiused, as I said, for some time before the incident. 

If you are able to get your hands on a book concerning the "Unforgivables" as they're termed, read the finer details about the Imperius curse and see if you can confirm my suspicion that Ava was not under her own control.  Even a Slytherin student capable of performing Crucio does not, in all probability, run into their own ending with such gusto as you have described.  The situation was too orchestrated to have been an accident.  Dig deeper if you can, Sasha, and I will investigate the possible transgressors to see that you are not to be bothered with them again.

That is interesting that the Ministry was asking questions about me in connection with this latest incident.  They are grasping at straws, I suppose.  I have all the faith in the world that you'd know and insist that I am not responsible for such an obvious frame-job.  Whoever has done this was wishing you dead on Christmas, rather than their own fallen soldier.  Surely you do know that I only ever do things that advance you along on your path, rather than take actions that would only complicate things for you, having to answer to the Ministry of Magic for apparent culpability in murder cases.  I'd be interested to hear which Aurors were especially fond of using my name in such an instance, however. 

That is all very good about Fergie staying close to you throughout this whole mess of a situation.  It says something about his allegiance to you, that he hasn't been "scared off" by any of the extraordinary circumstances you have found yourself in, these last few months.  He's a good boy, that Fergie.  I wonder, do the two of you have any special plans for Valentine's day?  I have a rather riotous night planned myself with a certain employee of mine, complete with champagne and a bubble bath after seeing a very good musical, though between you and me it would have been better had I been able to procure an evening with Lothario.  Having him for my special nights, that would be just the ticket.

No, I don't mind that you've asked about the fellow in my past.  You can ask me anything, of course, and I will always answer you honestly.  It was a long time ago, in the 1930's, and I was a young Muggleborn in Hogwarts, finding myself in the same fateful, dangerous sorts of situations you see yourself in today.  The boy was a Muggle from my hometown in Northern Scotland, Douglas Mackay....  He was my best friend as a boy, then the first person I ever loved, an older boy, and he helped me to see what was important in life, and encouraged me to be myself, even if being myself was "acting out" and earned me beatings by my father.  If it weren't for him in my youth I would have likely gone insane.

When I was admitted to Hogwarts my parents refused to have me at the family house.  I stayed with the Mackay family during holidays.  We wrote letters throughout the year, and I suspect that he became jealous of my life as a Wizard.  Thinking himself too normal for a man like me, he followed his parents' wishes and found a girl to marry.  When he told me the news he said I shouldn't come back over holidays.  I spent the Summer before my last year at Hogwarts without a home because of his cowardice and betrayal.  Though, I had other strings on my bow by then, and it wasn't uncomfortable.  Douglas Mackay died in 1936 before he had a chance to marry.  I don't worry about it much.       

I am happy to hear that you feel bonded to your new wand.  As soon as we are able, I will see that we are able to investigate your new friend's origins in depth.  In the meantime, you may learn some of that by your own intuition, through using it and observing your interactions with it -- how it moves subtly in response to incantations, or not at all if it is rigid, as well as some of the broader categories and temperaments you can discern through personal experience. 

From here I would say the best you can do now is enjoy your time with Ferguson and continue your studies as you have been.  Keep me informed on your dealings with the Ministry, and let me know if there is anything I can do for you.  As I said, I'll look into matters concerning the incident you described in your letter.  You are doing an excellent job, Sasha, and every step you've taken since I've met you has been something to have pride in.  I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

As unlikely as it is that I would be your biological father, it isn't impossible.  I have had my fair share of strange nights that I do not clearly remember.  I would certainly welcome the news as well, which is most assuredly an understatement.

Love,

K.

The following letter was sent in the middle of the night from Sasha's bedroom at the Waldgraf family home with Jack, Sasha's new elf owl.

Sasha Schlagenweit
22 Grafstraße
Schönau am Konigsee, Bayern
Deutschland

Jerome K. P.
Penthouse window
77 Glassford Street
Glasgow G1 1BQ
United Kingdom

Hello from one who is today, officially, sixteen,

As you've probably gathered from both the delay in response and the return address on this letter, things haven't been going quite as planned since I last wrote you. 

I, unfortunately, didn't have time to really look into Unforgivable Curses like you recommended.  I received a dismissal letter from the Hogwarts Governors at brunch the morning after getting your letter and one of the Governors met me that afternoon to escort me back to London.  They decided I needed time away; with OWLs just months away, I'm not sure missing more classes was what I needed.  But, I didn't have a choice.  I'm not allowed back until the start of summer term so I'm back in Dreogan's care.  Luckily, though, he's submitting paperwork to obtain full custody of me so, at least, I won't simply be with him as a temporary placement for the Ministry.  That is a relief.

You really think Ava might have been imperioused?  Are there resources for finding out more back in London?  I mean, obviously, I'm just curious to see if, perhaps, that might help with the investigation.  They keep asking me questions about what happened and what I know but I want to do more to help them find her killers, if I can.  They all seem to think that's all I can do.  I already didn't do enough when she was in trouble; I can't just sit back and do nothing, now. 

I returned to London on the fifteenth though my sister decided I needed to get away for a little bit after everything so she took me on a trip for my birthday.  We spent a couple nights in Amsterdam where she used to live before coming down here to my grandmother's house.  She's dating Dreogan's brother so he came along with us - they are insisting I have a magical escort all the time, almost everywhere I go.  But, it's good to be back in the mountains.  It's very pretty up here in winter and the lake's still frozen but it's too late in the season to skate on it.  The snow's too deep - you can only walk or cross country ski on it.  It's hard to believe but, in another year, I'll be considered an adult.  I really can't wait.  I like living with Dreogan and he's very nice but I do miss being able to just go to the park when I want to.  I've never been a homebody and my parents never bothered worrying about where I was.  Just so long as we didn't do anything that would embarrass them, they didn't care. 

I didn't know your father be got physical with you.  What did he see as 'acting out?'  Was it the magic stuff or, you know, boys?  I admit, it still, sometimes, feels a little weird and awkward to be talking about some of this stuff.  And, I don't want to say anything that might offend you.  Did you know, when you got your letter, that they weren't going to take you back?  Did they completely disown you or just not let you come home?  Did you just never consider doing what I did?  Hiding it?  Do you think I shouldn't have? 

I'm glad to hear you had a good Valentine's, though. 

Mine ended up being pretty...there were a lot of big ups and a few big downs.  Fergie and I exchanged presents in the morning which, in some ways, ended up being a near catastrophe.  Not between us, of course.  I loved our gifts.  But, there's this first year at school who - this is a little embarrassing - she has had a crush on me.  I saved her from the lake when she got pushed in on the boat crossing before the sorting.  She stole my textbook a while back and then got a secret Valentine gift that morning.  She assumed her secret valentine had come from me and then thought I'd asked her to the Valentine's Day ball.  I can be dense, sometimes.  Actually, really dense sometimes.  Especially with this casual social stuff - and I really don't know how to talk to girls.  But, I didn't even realize she thought I'd asked her until Fergie asked me what I was doing.  I didn't actually ask her, mind you.  It just, apparently, was implied.  Or something.  I was really just trying to avoid making her cry - I still don't really get it. 

One of the big 'ups,' though, was that while Fergie and I were exchanging gifts, he admitted he loved me.  I, honestly, hadn't been expecting it but it made me really happy.  I wasn't sure what to say in return, though.  Not because I don't care about him, of course.  I just don't really know what I'm talking about, I guess.  I've never really ever, you know, loved someone.  I don't know how one knows the difference.  Between liking and loving.  On one hand it seems like it's just symantics.  On the other, it seems pretty significant.

I'm sure you'll be proud to hear, though, that we went to the Valentine's Day ball.  Together.  As a couple.  Fergie and I, of course.  Not, you know, the first year.  Though, she thought she was meeting me there.  It was going pretty well until Eirene arrived.  Not surprisingly, she still ended up crying.  And, yelling at us that boys couldn't date and it was just weird.  In the middle of the whole dance.  It was mortifying, to be honest.  But, I can't really blame her.  I didn't really give it much thought myself until, you know, a boy kissed me.  But, I keep reminding myself, I still went.  It was good to be there with Fergie.  I just wish I hadn't had to leave before seeing him the next day. 

I only had a few opportunities to use my wand since the beginning of the month.  Now that I'm away from school, I can only use it under the supervision of a tutor.  From what I can tell, though, it seems fairly responsive.  I don't know if that's what you mean by 'flexible.'  Like - it doesn't need as much 'prodding' as my other ones.  The wood itself seems to have more give than the two wands that chose me but is firmer than my first one.  It's very nice looking, though.  It's got this marbled golden glow to it.  I'm getting more used to using it. 

Unless the wizarding world has something akin to paternity tests, I suppose we won't really ever know for certain if you or anyone else is my father.  Especially since, you know, my mother's gone - I can't ask her.  But, that's really the case with any man I meet, isn't it?  I've always assumed, though, that I'm muggleborn.  I don't know why, though.  I probably never will. 

Yours Truly,

Sasha

This unmarked envelope was forwarded to Sasha inside an officially marked envelope sent seemingly from the legal establishment handling his housing inheritance.  The outside envelope is addressed to the Schlagenweit's estate in Ricksmansworth, England.

Dearest Sasha,

You went together to the ball, oh wonderful!  Oh how I do wish I could have seen you.  This is fantastic news!  Just pure dead brilliant, Sasha.  And oh yes, little girls?  So terribly confusing!  I wouldn't worry much over that -- just silly.  But you went to the ball, together, with your sweetheart!  Oh Sasha, I am so happy for you.  And will celebrate well on your behalf when I have some more time, indeed.

I am, though, so sorry to hear that you have been pulled from your place at the school yet again!  You will see that everything gets better with time -- you will be wiser for the dark paths you trudge.  It is the deeply misunderstood men like you and me that shine like the brightest stars in the end.  Just look at Billy Elliot, and know that you'd shine brighter than him.  Every disaster is an opportunity for beauty to assert itself in the world, Sasha.  I can regurgitate cliches or I can simply tell you over and again:  you are something else.  Something fabulous with a capital fab.

But Merlin, sweet sixteen?  What a lovely year for you.  I know how life has been down on you, son, but this is a year you should really cherish and celebrate.  Your last year as a so-called minor!  Though certainly not the end of youth.  Once the time is advantageous I should really like to set you and your sweetheart Ferguson up with tickets for the theatre.  When you're as successful as you are, Sasha, you can afford a wee bit of revelry.  Remember the wonderful time you had in the North?  Well there are ways to bring that attitude of leisure and royalty with you wherever you go.

I must say that I am not the happiest to hear that you have been under lock and key with this Ministry worker who you are living with.  Are you sure that this arrangement is not a house arrest of some sort?  At least if he is taking legal custody of you it will only be for the duration of a year -- then you will be free to be yourself?

My father liked to say that I was "act'n an eejit" or "bein a fackin galoot" when I did the things which he didn't find suitable for a son of his.  I might have stolen my sisters' dresses to try on, worn my mum's best jewels and powders and gone out to the harbor to throw pebbles at the sea birds.  He wanted me hauling ice to keep the bloody fish cold!  He didn't have the capacity to realize that I had something special in me, that I wasn't just a boy, a fisher.  I was something more.  He didn't know or give a glance to me becoming big in Japan!  No, but he didn't have the chance. 

There were indeed many magical incidents in my youth all the same.  My father, he thought that I was the son of Satan sure as stone is solid.  He had told me he was not my father long before I knew exactly what I was.  When the letters did come, and then an aide from the Ministry of Magic, I went away and I wasn't missed, and I wasn't welcomed back.  My friend the boy, his folks, they took me in, but it was a small village.  It was hard but I made my father as miserable and shone as brightly as I could.  I made scenes.  I disrupted the church services.  Even Douglas thought I was going overboard.  He should've been with me in those waters, I should think, but every stone was placed in its proper place; I believe that, Sasha.

In London there are many resources for you to continue your personal studies.  You should endeavor to gain some free time, whatever that will entail.  If you can assert your independence it will be all the better for you.  Do you really want your Ministry-appointed guardian to know everything that you find an interest in?  And what of extracurricular interests such as what you meant to study at Hogwarts privately?  Would he allow you that?  I apologize for all the intrusive and rhetorical questions that I am so tediously asking, but I do think it is important for you to continue to think critically about your situation.  Discover what it is you want, Sasha, and take it.

If you can get away at all, I recommend Obscurus Books in Diagon Alley.  There is a tall, dark, and handsome man who works there who is the best to talk to.  Blackstone, I believe.  If for some reason you cannot find suitable materials there, do tell me and I will be sure that they are imported and put on hold for you. 

I would advise you to have discretion when it comes to working with the Ministry to solve Ava's murder.  It may seem like the thing to do, but in truth you cannot know what the Ministry's intentions are with you.  They have removed you from your place of belonging at Hogwarts.  What is their aim in removing you from the place in which you should excel?  Nevertheless, do seek the information that will benefit you, Sasha. 

I realize that you like to re-read my letters, but if their accumulation begins to pose a problem you can always send them back to me for safe-keeping.  I will lock them in a private place for you to collect later if that is something that would make our communication easier, and more fool-proof.

And I apologize but I must cut this letter shorter than I'd like.  Delivery is more time-sensitive this go round, and my business efforts here are calling my attention for the next few days at least rather steadily.  Wizards like us, son, were meant to lead!  I hope you are staying warm and spreading your wings despite the unfavorable conditions you find yourself in.  I do wish I could say send my love to Fergie.

With oodles of admiration nonetheless,

K.

As with the last letter, this letter was sent early Thursday morning by Jack.  As prompt delivery was more important than discretion, all forms of address have been kept vague.

London, UK

77 Glassford Street
Glasgow G1 1BQ
United Kingdom

I know this goes against what you've requested in the past but I believe present circumstances require deviation from the regular routine.  Something happened recently and I think I need help.  And, I'm not sure where else to go.  I'm afraid any place I go, word will get back home.  And, I know they'd be disappointed. 

I know you've advised against this in the past but, I think, I need to see you.  As soon as possible.  I will be awaiting your response in the tackroom of my family's stable. 

- SRWS