The light was starting to stream through the window. It lit up the small living room and elicited a groan from Ed as he buried his face into the dark under the duvet, resting against the bare back of the woman in the bed with him. “Can’t ye shut the curtains, Quince?” He grumbled against her bare skin, pulling her closer with a muscular arm. The woman quietly mumbled something incoherent before Ed found himself drifting back into the land of nod. He didn’t need to be in work today. Sleep was so nice. Especially with the warm body besides him.

It had only been a few minutes after the first few stirrings of the couple when Pratt received the shock of his life. Without warning, a horrendous icy chill exploded onto his skin as freezing water and ice cubes fell mercilessly onto his bare chest from seemingly nowhere. A loud yell escaped the man’s lips and he quite literally jumped to life as goosebumps erupted across the skin of his entire body. He took a few moments to breath and realise what the hell kind of horror had inflicted itself upon him before he finally turned his head to see the woman besides him slightly stirring.

The man frowned for a split second. That wasn’t his ex-wife. But where had the ice come from? The green eyes continued to trail around quickly to fall on a taller woman stood behind the sofa, cloaked in a fluffy dressing gown with wild frizzy hair exploding in all manner of directions. She looked furious yet somewhat pleased with herself. As if she’d just stolen a lollipop from a small misbehaving child and eaten it in front of them. But it wasn’t a lollipop in her hands. It was a large bucket.  A bucket that had undoubtedly held icy water only moments ago.

Before he could stop it, Ed’s temper flared. His torso continued to shiver as he sprang from the uncomfortable sofa bed, baggy jogging trousers sodden and sticking to his legs. “WHAT...THE...HELL?!” he roared. “Are ye a flamin’ nut job, woman?” The crazy woman had offered him a bed for a while. As far as Pratt had been aware, an icy wakeup call hadn’t been included.

It was just after seven in the morning, and Charlene was already fuming.

She had known that her current living situation would try her patience.  Although she and Edward Pratt had made their peace as partners at work, it had come after months and months of clashes.  Charlene was neat; Eddie was messy.  She was responsible; Eddie was occasionally responsible, but more often than not dropped the ball so long as he knew that she was there to pick it up.  It didn't take much foresight to realize that sharing a house even temporarily with her partner was bound to have disastrous moments (Charlene didn't even want to think about how her boyfriend had reacted when she'd explained that she was renting a room to one of his brother's best friends), but she hadn't realized how quickly they'd stack up.

One night.  Pratt had been here one night.  And here he was, already sleeping on her sofa with a woman that she'd never even seen before!  Charlene had no problem with the again-divorced man rebounding quickly; she just didn't want him rebounding on her couch.  The ice water had been merciful.

"Yes, I am a flaming nut job!" she shot back, glaring daggers at the man as she crossed her arms.  "A flaming nut job who just discovered my partner - whom, I should mention, I oh so graciously agreed to rent a room to after he realized he didn't want to live with our boss and her boyfriend - with a woman I've never even met, asleep on my couch!  No offense," she added to the woman, as graciously as she could through gritted teeth.  It was hardly the brunette's fault that Pratt was a git.

"You deserved worse than ice water, Pratt," she informed the man mercilessly, standing her ground and holding her wand steady.  The expression on Charlene's face made it clear that she wasn't joking.  "Get your things," she said disgustedly.  "You can find somewhere else to live."

Ed hadn’t missed the fact that his partner come landlord come thorn in his side looked furious. On the contrary, if he hadn’t wanted to hex her there and then he would have commented on the extra volume and frizzy-untamability fury added to her hair. As it was, he was currently visualising it on fire with her running around resembling a blind house elf on energy potion. That would have been many miles better than what was happening in reality.

Who she’d never met before...? Ed’s eyes, hazy with a brewing hangover, flashed down to look at the woman who was now sat bolt upright, her expression revealing a great deal of confusion and embarrassment. Ed didn’t know her either. At least she was pretty; his whiskey goggles hadn’t failed him and taken him to bed with an ugly bed fellow.

Ed scowled towards his work partner again as she said some words he definitely didn’t need to hear right then. And her expression showed she was damned serious.
“What?!” The shivering man exclaimed. “No, no no. Ye don’t offer me to stay for a while then on the first morning attack me wi’frozen water and kick me out, woman!”

“I made one mistake.” Green eyes fell momentarily on the woman who was still holding the bed covers up to her chest in an attempt to preserve whatever shred of dignity she had left. “No offence, luv’. I’m sure ye’re lovely.” But what did he know about her? The thought made Ed feel very sick. But he had to ignore that for the moment. He was about to lose his lodgings.

Without another word to the woman in the bed, Ed stepped towards Charlene, and deciding to ignore the threatening wand, grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side. “A big mistake.” The man reiterated. He actually looked worried. But he wasn’t going to beg. “Ye know I can’t just find somewhere else, Frizz.” The nickname had turned into more of an endearment and a habit now than a name to annoy her. Ed actually liked and trusted Charlene Malone. And she must have liked him just the smallest amount to offer him her sofa until he found somewhere with enough room for him and four kids when they came to stay in his extremely limited budget. She couldn’t just kick him out now!

How the hell was he supposed to make this work? Ed glanced back at the woman and frowned at Malone. “Ye’ve not met her before? I’ll introduce ye shall I?” He needed to get the witch’s mind off kicking him out! “Frizz, meet...” The auror’s eyes looked at the brunette for a moment and his brows creased into a frown. What was her name...? “Brunette.”

She was going soft.  It was obvious.  There was no other explanation for the fact that Charlene let Eddie lead her away to the side of the room, talking frantically about how he'd made a mistake.  The Auror crossed her arms, not a hint of sympathy in her expression as she eyed her partner.

Pratt was smart enough to know when he was clearly not winning.  He changed tactics abruptly, introducing Charlene to the woman - whose name he clearly could not remember.

Charlene sighed.  Men.  She was lucky she'd found Hunter.

"Charlene Malone," she said, ignoring Eddie as she stepped past him and extended a hand to the woman.  It wasn't her fault that Charlene's partner was an idiot.  "I'm awfully sorry about all this.  He should know he's not supposed to bring anyone here," she added, giving her partner a nasty look.  "Do you have somewhere you can apparate?"

"Do I - ...what?" the woman asked blankly, looking from Eddie to Charlene as she tentatively reached out to shake the Auror's hand.  "Wait, you're partners?" she asked, giving the man present a much sharper look  "I'm...I'm sorry, he didn't tell me that he was seeing anyone else -"

"Not that kind of partner," Charlene said automatically, her voice sharp.  "Although he is married.  Partners at work.  We're both Aurors."  She turned a dark gaze on Eddie.  If looks could kill, he would have been Avada Kedavra'ed three times over.  "Which is why he should know better than to bring anyone to my house," she added, her voice growing slightly heated.  "What are you going to do, invite Tawse's conspiracy mates over if they happen to be good looking and come up to you once you've had a couple of pints?"

What was she doing?! Ed blinked in confusion as he watched his angry work partner introduce herself by a name he rarely addressed her as and offered a hand. Then she mentioned apparation and Ed’s stomach went through the floor, the remnants of his alcohol with it. Any colour he had in his previous pale cheeks vanished and he willed the ground to swallow him whole. Where was his wand? He could just vanish all this away and go back to sleep.

Of course this woman didn’t have anywhere to apparate to. This woman didn’t know what apparated was. The man stepped back against the wall as he watched her reaction. She looked confused. Then she mentioned partners again and Ed, as much as he willed himself to close his eyes, couldn’t shut them. They just stared at what was unfolding in front of him, and he was helpless to stop it. It was like watching a man on a broom fly straight into a dragon’s mouth.  This dragon was Charlene Malone and she was scarier than any dragon Ed had encountered.
Well, excluding his boss.
And his ex-wife.
But she was still scary.

Now was the time to talk. “I’m not mar-” but the woman continued. She informed a woman that knew nothing about magical law enforcement that they were aurors and turned her angry hormonal look on the poor unsuspecting man. He grit his teeth and folded his arms. “Well yeah, actually, Frizz. Thought we could have a party. Me you and a few ex-death eaters.”

“Wh-...who’s Tawse, Eddie?” Came a quiet mumble from the woman and Ed span around to face her.
“Are ye still here?” The auror questioned. “Get dressed.” He finally turned on Charlene, angry now she’d make such suggestions. “I was drunk. She’s a muggle. Get over it and put yer wand away. Jealousy 'ent becomin'.”

Out of her partner's entire speech, only six words registered.

“I was drunk. She’s a muggle."

Charlene opened her mouth, closed it again, and then decided that this was not really a time to hold back.  "You brought a Muggle into my house?" she demanded incredulously, striding forward to catch the man by the arm.  She stood inches away from him, nostrils flaring, as she met his gaze squarely and furiously. 

"This isn't jealousy, Pratt," she informed him in a low, icy voice.  "I know you get that one a lot so you might just assume it's present, but if you want jealousy, you can go run back to your ex-wife.  This is fury."  Her teeth were gritted, but she forced out each word with a steadily increasing heated temperament.  "You brought a Muggle into my house!  And you didn't even tell me!" she exclaimed disbelievingly.  "What were you thinking?

A whimper cut into her tirade just as she was getting going.  Charlene shot a frustrated look over at the uninvited house guest, who looked to be on the verge of tears.  Exasperated, the Auror glared at the woman, glared at Eddie, and then gave a loud sigh of resignation. 

"You apologize to her," she said, gesturing angrily at Eddie.  "Help her get her things, take her home, and then Obliviate her.  And then apologize again."  She gave the man a good, hard look to make sure he knew she was serious.  "If you expect to have a place to sleep tonight, you'd better do everything you can to set this right, Pratt.  And this is not happening again."

Was it completely necessary to overreact in such a ridiculous, female time of the month fashion? Charlene Malone obviously thought it was. Surprisingly enough, Edward Pratt didn’t. He stood, arms folded over his bare chest, glaring directly at his work partner, the woman that had just offended his now cold and shivering skin with an icy bucket of water and a sharp, angry tongue. Ed hardly deserved this onslaught for simply taking advantage of a muggle bar full of women happy to fall to their knees at the sight of him. He’d spent the last half a month abstinent. There was only so long a wizard could last for before starting to think of warty old hags as somewhat appealing.

"What were you thinking?"

Pratt, ignorant as he was to the workings of the female mind, had to bite his tongue. Something other than his brain had been thinking for him. Alcohol had certainly had an influence on those thoughts as well. The man usually wouldn’t have considered actually going about such...things. Despite however much he acted otherwise, he was a good guy. An insensitive moron a lot of the time, but a good insensitive moron.

The auror glanced between his angry new landlord and the scared and confused looking woman on the sofa bed, sheet pulled up to retain her dignity in front of the two people arguing. Ed frowned briefly at her. If he hadn’t been so angry about having been attacked by a bucket of what was practically ice, he would have suddenly felt very sick. There was no way he was going to let Quincy ever find this out.

“Fine.” Ed surrendered, hands being thrown in the air. “Fine, whatever.” He snatched up the shirt that had somehow found a spot on the floor during the evening and started to pull that on, buttoning it up hurriedly. The woman still didn’t move and Ed looked down at her. “Ye heard her, lass. Get dressed.” Ed was not apologising to this woman. She’d quite obviously had a good time last night by the fact she still lay unclothed in his bed. Why apologise for showing her a good time? What would he have said? ‘Sorry for giving ye the night of yer life, love.’?

The woman didn’t look impressed as Ed picked up her dress and tossed it in her direction. She caught it and stood, wrapping the sheet around her nervously. Ed folded his arms, bright green eyes once more flashing from the woman to Malone and back. “Sorry about her, she’s always like that, lass. Don’t take it personal, like.”