White roses blooming in the backwoods ugly end of winter. That was one of many, many things Toko thought was so bloody brilliant about magic: it did lots of impossible stuff, and anyone raised on Tolkein and Doctor Who can’t help but to be in love with impossible stuff.

Flowers don’t bloom in winter and boys aren’t girls. Yeah, impossible. Toko could live with that not being true.

There was a pale stone walk way winding through the slush and dirt up to the castle, so everyone fortunate enough to be in dresses tonight wouldn’t ruin their hems and heels and whatever other H words. Benches speckled the edges of the path, and skinny trails trailing off into the dark (probably made by students, Toko guessed, and forced himself not to think about what might be down on the other end of those trails). And white roses. They were so white, Toko almost lost them against the thick blanket of February snow the black sky was coughing up.

Toko wriggled off his shoes and flopped them onto the bench beside, before casting a warming spell on his feet. Then he bumbled about curling his legs up on the bench too, and trying to massage life back into his toes. The socks were gold with black polka dots, because his mum had started a crusade to buy him everything she saw in black-and-yellow at J.C. Penny’s from the moment she learned his house colors.

Tipsy, so anxious he was sick, futilely pissed off at nothing he could put his finger on, pissed off at Dion for more obvious reasons, slighted by Dennis Creevey and his piddly signed poster, feeling awkward in a suit as...hell, he didn't know. A thestral in a hat. Oh, and ditched. By his probably-just-a-stupid-joke-not-date. Nah, Toko didn't want to be in that perfumey tent for one more second.

He shoved his hand in his jacket pocket and pulled out a flask. Twisted the cap off, drank, held the flask between his knees to scrub his face with his boney hands. Toko peeked up from his hands and blew a strand of hair out of his eyes. He glanced to the sky, to the roses.

“When I am queen,” he told them, very seriously and slurred only the teensiest bit, “you’ll be whatever color I want. Or...or the entire dance committee will be beheaded.”

Toko leaned off the bench and batted the roses on the head with his wand, and they turned cardboard cut-out heart red.

"Hey! There you are! Toko! Hey!"

Dax came running up the path, his nice sweater gone to reveal a black 3OS t-shirt. He stopped when he got to Toko, pausing to catch his breath. He looked guarded and pondered for a moment before he said, "Sorry about taking so long. You kinda vanished int the crowd and I couldn't find you and then Dion told me you went to find me and then Sophie said you came out here but the Ruby said you went back to the castle and then Dion said you were out here."

He paused and looked guilty, rather like a large puppy that'd peed in the house and knows you know. "And I got your juice, if you still want it?"

“H-hey.”

Dax wasn’t going to win back...whatever of Toko’s he was trying to get just by bringing him juice one million minutes late. Even with his arms all exposed like that. Though that did soften Toko up a bit. Just a little, infinitesimal bit.

“I thought you’d, like...I dunno, ditched me or something." He sneezed, a sound more fit to come out of a cat than a boy. Snuffled, pushed his glasses up his nose with his shoulder. "And...and here I was thinking, ‘what a dick’. But I guess you aren’t. Or...um, something. Sorry.”

Toko gingerly took the juice without saying anything more, and took to staring into the depths of the mug instead of staring at Dax. It was mildly difficult, but somehow he managed it. He curled his legs up underneath himself like a lotus, alternated between sips of schnapps and juice. His lips tightened to the thin line, looking thoughtful. After a moment, he peered up at Dax through his wind-tussled fringe.

“You can...um. Sit down...with, uh...me. If you wanna.”

Anxious fiddling with his flask, tipping its contents into the pumpkin juice and swirling the mixture around. This tongue felt stupider than usual, somehow.

“Hey...aren’t you cold?” Toko ventured meekly. He thought of asking Dax to go get him some hot chocolate, but that'd probably end up with Dax getting lost in a broom closet. “How can you not be totally dying right now, gosh.”

"Naw, dude, I don't ditch," Dax said, happily collapsing on the bench next to him. "I try not to be a dick, y'know? Though I could prolly piss on someone'd dress and still look nice compared to Dion tonight. He's on his period or something, I swear."

He frowned slightly as Toko added alcohol to the pumpkin juice. "Getting drunk again?" he asked, tone still jovial. "'an I'm fine. I was running around and stuff. Still warm from that." He shrugged. "Cold doesn't bother me too much anyhow."

Awkward silence followed as Toko drank and Dax sat there, twiddling with his fingers for a few moments. "So," Dax said, after a moment, "Are you like...okay? And stuff. You've been like..down since this morning."

“Yeah,” Toko muttered in response to the ‘drunk’ comment. He glanced back down into his peppermint-pumpkin cocktail. “Yeah, I guess...I guess I am. Maybe.”

He sipped at the drink tentatively, nose scrunching up, not really keen on the taste. Oh well. It took some bite out of the schnapps, even if it tasted odd. He wiped his sniffling nose on the inside of his jacket sleeve, like a real gent.

“Hfff. I wish I was warm like you. Shoulda brought gloves or whatever.” Toko trailed off into a mumble and rubbed his hands together furiously, blowing steam clouds of breath onto his fingertips, seemingly forgetting that his wand was right in his lap. “I’m always cold. Kinda sucks.”

Toko cocked his head to Dax curiously, rolling his bottom lip in his rabbit teeth. Trying to puzzle something out. He liked where that train of thought lead, but he wasn’t stupid enough to get his hopes up. Even if --  only he wasn’t, so -- and if he was he wouldn’t want to --

Yeah. Whatever. Stopping that ASAP.

The wind picked up, blew snowflakes stuck on his dark lashes, and Toko eyes fluttered shut. They melted on his eyelids, and he scrubbed at the dampness fitfully. He frowned against the cold and dark, before shaking his boozy little head.

“Just...I dunno. Some stupid boy got me down.” His tongue flickered over his lips, anxious. “So, um...sorry. S’nothing you did.”

"You could always use a warming spell" would have been the sensible thing to say. Instead, Dax simply pulled out his wand and cast a warming spell on Toko's hands almost without thinking, and patted him on the back in a friendly way.

"It is always chilly here, man. Can't wait 'til I graduate. Can go visit warm places like..Hawaii and Alaska and shit." He shrugged. "Always wanted to try surfing sometime. Looks fun."

More awkward silence. Dammit, thought Dax. Toko was cute. Especially when he was being awkward and whiny, which was like...all the time, when he wasn't being painfully shy. It kind of drove Dax nuts, especually because Toko was one ofthose kids hehad a vague feeling he could accidently crush. It was like wanting to bone a mouse. 

Dax was lost momentarily in his own thoughts until Toko mentioned the boy, and then Dax frowned. A boy - a bully, maybe? Or a...something else? Either way, he was angry or jealous and that neither of those were emotions Dax liked to be. Jealousy was a new one, though.

"S'ok," He grunted. "Who, uh...well, um...what happened?" Man, he sounded intelligent.

Warmth crept down his fingers, warmth crept up his neck.

“Oh, I...” Quiet as a church mouse, this one. Those big dark eyes swung up to Dax for a moment, but they fled back to his socks. His toes did all the wriggling the rest of him wanted to be doing. “Th-thanks. Probably a muggle-y thing, forgetting to use your wand for stuff.”

He was thankful for the dark. The frilly little tea lights speckling the path didn’t illuminate awkward blushes very well. He squirmed under that touch at his back, too.

“Just...like. Being a jerk, I dunno.” The bristles went up a bit then, just like a tiny annoyed porcupine. “I’d...met him somewhere awhile before and then he found me again and he got kinda pissy or whatever. It’s not...important or anything. He was just some guy.”

Toko wasn’t lying out right, really. He was just clumsily mucking his way through the truth, obscuring some things and letting others go. It didn’t help that Dax made him nervous period. Discussing Erin Bloody Harper with Dax Bloody Fayette wasn’t something Toko’s nerves were designed to handle. He’d probably break something if he tried.

For a long moment, Toko stared at his hands. Hot and tingly, quite a bit like how his throat was feeling right about now.

“Why...why do you care, anyway?”

Dax leaned back against the bench. Why did he care? That was a question he didn't want to answer; there was nothing like scaring a kid off by being 100% honest.

So he told a half-truth instead. "'cause I've known you for seven years, bro, and you never have fun. An' then the one night I managed to convince you to like....come party, you get depressed all of a sudden. Kinda blows, y'know? Don't want you to get like..scared off. And stuff." He shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry 'bout Dion. He's on his period or somethin'."

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "So uh...who was it? The guy who was a jerk to you. If It was Dion I can throw him out a window or somethin'."

“That makes two of us, then,” Toko snorted. “No, Dion didn’t do anything. It was this stupid kid named like…Erin Harper. One of those baby Slythies. They’re all kinda dicks though, so really. Don’t worry about it.” He swallowed, and stared at his socks very seriously. “It’s…it’s not important. S’over.”

Toko took another long drink of his pumpkin cocktail, and squinched up his face from the taste.

That was another reason he wished he had girlybits – if he got suddenly upset about nothing at all, he could just blame it on his hormones pitching a fit. But he was stuck with these boybits, and they didn’t come with any prepackaged excuses.

The hint of irritation had faded from his voice, though, and it slipped back into that barely there whisper of his. He played with a long strand of hair the wind blew into his face, licked his lips. It…nice. Sweet. Friendly. Whatever of Dax to care one iota about him at all. Toko’s question was why he was suddenly caring now, and – yeah, no. Way to sound like an ungrateful bitch. Keep thoughts like that on lockdown.

“You should be hanging out with girls or something. Like, I’ll be fine. It’s, um…” he trailed off, and finally forced himself to look up at Dax and hold the gaze for more than two seconds. He was on three now, so…already a new record, but there was always room for improvement. “…nice of you, though. Um…” he chewed on his lip, and peered at him through his dark lashes. “Thanks. And uh, thanks for…I dunno, liking me too I guess.”

There were a few heartbeats there where Toko went silent, where his look fell away from Dax’s eyes and settled on his collarbone, where he just sat there looking dumb and breathing smoke. He blinked back up at Dax and cocked his head, and spoke like his next were a secret.

“Um, like…your eyes are kinda cool. Just sayin’.”

Dax could probably smell the mouthwash sting of peppermint schnapps on his tongue from there.

"Was it, now?" Dax asked, rhetorically. He looked thoughtful - an odd expression for him to have - and he seemed to ignore Toko's assurances that it was over. Dax leaned forward, an elbow resting on his knee, and rubbed his chin.

They sat in silence, both apparently thinking hard about something. If Dion had walked by he might have died of shock.

Toko's voice surprised Dax, and the tiny jump probably went unnoticed. "S'no prob, man," Dax said, more casually than he felt. He absently wiped his palms on his jeans. "Y'just always seem to go off on your own a lot, y'know? And you're pretty cool. And stuff. So yeah, you're welcome. No prob. An' the girls are all, like...busy," he added. "S'not like I got a girlfriend or nothin' so yeah."

Toko was actually making eye contact. Dax was both surprised and pleased by that; he blinked several times and blushed, slightly.

"Um, thanks. Yours are nice too. 'specially when you've got...got your glasses on."

“I – really? That’s…you’re lying. Nobody looks better with glasses on.” That said, Toko was still smiling. First in that self-conscious close-lipped way of his, but that broke like ice. Toothy, stupid, and over-bitey. And directed completely as his own lap.

“How would you know, anyway? You’ve like…never really seen without ‘em. Um…here, see?”

Tentatively, Toko his hands fluttered up to linger around his glasses. First he slid them down his nose, and then with a moment’s hesitation eased them off entirely. He shifted around on the bench so that he was sitting back on his ankles and facing the other boy, the whole jumbled movement scooting them just a bit closer.

He glanced up at Dax, even though Dax was just a cloudy Dax shaped blob. He could feel his eyes automatically squinting up and trying to focus the big fuzzy world around them. Toko leaned in a bit, cocked his head, and maybe he could make out the suggestion of a nose.

“…’kay so I guess that makes sense, actually.” He huffed softly, and chewed on the on the black plastic armature. But since that showed off his big teeth too much, Toko just let it slip out of his mouth and trail down his chin. “I look all stupid and like I just got bleach sprayed in my face with ‘em off. I…I guess.”

Dax had seen Toko without his glasses - plenty of times, in fact. But 'hey dude I've seen you when you sleep' wasn't exactly the best thing to say. Heck, they'd all seen each other sleep - for years - but it just wasn't something you said.

With Toko squinting at him and clearly unable to see, he casually leaned and little closer, using the boy's blindness to his advantage. Smooth.  "Not lyin'. Y'look cute..eeeer you look better with your glasses. Glasses on - you know. You don't go all squinty." Yeah, talk like that'd get his pants off, for sure. A+, Daxly.

Dax blushed hotly - his gutter mind had something other than bleach getting..winding up on Toko's face. Hurriedly, while the other boy wasn't really able to see, he grabbed some snow and gripped it, focusing on the cold.

No working. Goddamn.

"So uh. Had your like....yeah. Studies! How're they?"

The cute word broke Toko out of that squint. His eyes fluttered open, wide as saucers. Alright, so the ‘yeah you do look squinty and dumb’ comment was kind of stupid, but that other word. Toko was pretty sure his eyebrows were going to fly right off his forehead into the sky.

Dax Bloody Fayette had just called him Cute. What the fu—

Toko shoved his glasses back onto his face, as if that had anything to do with his ability to hear. Maybe he’d hurt totally wrong. Maybe, because that’d make a lot more sense. He stared at the sudden pinkness that had washed over Dax’s face, at the snow melting in his hands.

Heart, meet throat.

“Um…hey. Is…there s-something you wanna…?” He trailed off, hoping the night would fill in the blank for him. That’d be convenient. “Is something you wanna tell me or…or whatever? ‘cause you’ve…been acting kinda weird. I dunno.”

His mouth was suddenly dry as a desert and words failed him. The snow, melting in his hand, was basically forgotten as Toko put him on the spot.

Was there something he wanted to say? Oh, yes. There was plenty - but he'd never really said stuff like that to a guy before. He'd flirted, alright; batted eyes at Fir in a joking way. But there just wasn't a way to sugar-coat the things Dax always wanted to tell Toko. They were the sort of words that he imagined on his own time, when he was alone in the shower.

Because, come down to it, he didn't know Toko that well. He just knew what he wanted, with all the force his 18 year old hormones could muster. And despite his reputation, Dax Fayette didn't always go for the easy ones.

Besides, slip up here and Toko'd go all mousy again.

"Um. Kinda," he said, suddenly realizing he'd sat there with his eyes bugged out at Toko for almost a minute.

"Thing is. Um. That is - you're like. I don't know you, right? But you seem kinda, like, yeah, like a cool guy. And it could be fun, you know, hanging out." His mouth was working on its own. "Cause you're kinda...kind of...damn." His tone changed suddenly; he dropped the snow to the ground and rubbed his forehead, looking pained.

"Don't take this, like..the wrong way, ok? If you're not like...like that or something - cause I'm not, I go both ways, y'know, and girls are pretty awesome. But yeah. I think you're...you're kinda cute-"

His words were coming in a hurried rush as he panicked but lacked the ability to shut himself up. Thankfully - or not - the universe decided to shut him up on its own.

He's been too focussed on Toko to hear or sense Dion's approach; his twin brother hit him hard out of no where, his arms wrapping suddenly around Dax's uppper torso and almost pulling him off the bench as Dion collapsed to his knees, half kneeling in front of and half on Dax.

Dion hadn't seemed to notice Toko - that made it worse, in a way, since normally Dion would have chased the other boy off. Dax gasped his breath back and put a hand on his brother's head.

"Dion? You okay, buddy?"