(Following this thread)


Fauna moved through Hogsmeade like a ghost; face pale, meeting the shouts and laughter of other students with silence. The only thing that was definitely not ghost-like was the way she kept bumping into people as she processed what had just happened.

She made it back to Hogwarts on automatic, and was slightly surprised when she saw the Entrance Doors looming in front of her. Many of her peers were just now heading to town for the day, or running in and out of the castle in their excitement to get the most out of the weekend. She weaved around a crowd of fourth-years, slipped inside, and headed downstairs to the dungeons, where the warmth and smells from the kitchen permeated the air.

This reminded her of that time last year, when she and Devlin had met in front of the still-life portrait of fruit, and then shared a picnic under the stars. They’d been interrupted by Waker, and as Fauna remembered the look on the girl’s face and the bitter arguing between the two Ravenclaws, she stopped where she was and let out a sob. Rushing into a small alcove of the corridor, where mops and boxes leaned against the wall, she flipped over a bucket and sat on it, putting her head in her hands.

There, she cried. Not just a few sniffles, or a trickle of tears, but the full waterworks. Her shoulders shook, her head pounded, and her face turned splotchy. Fauna hoped that the pitiful noises she made would be masked by the clanging from the kitchen, so she could just have a good cry and then head back to her dorm in peace, but the problem was, she couldn’t seem to stop. She kept thinking about what she’d told Devlin, and the things he’d said to her, and the knowledge that he really had started dating her just to make a point, and it all made her feel hopeless and heartbroken.

Wrapped up in her own misery, she didn’t hear the footsteps, or the sound of those footsteps slowing nearby.

Fergie was not an early riser by nature, although he managed to get through the week pretending. The weekend, though, provided him with a chance to sleep in and catch up on his beauty sleep. And after the late nights he'd had the past few days? He needed the catch up time.

Which was why Fergie was only just now leaving the Slytherin common room, despite the fact that it was very nearly one o'clock in the afternoon. Here was hoping there was still some food left in the great hall, because he was starving. And then, after that, he hoped to find Sasha and spend the rest of the day kissing and holding hands and having fun and generally being disgustingly cute.

Fergie's plans were derailed, however, as he passed by the kitchens and a strange noise caught his ears. It sounded like... was that someone crying? The Slytherin paused and, after listening a moment, decided to investigate. Because that didn't sound like 'oh no I broke my nail' crying. It sounded like the Real Deal. It would just be downright cruel to leave a person like that without even stopping to check on them.

So he let his feet lead him in the direction the sound seemed to be coming from, and after a few moments found himself peeking into a secluded little alcove. Where he saw... "Fauna?!" The Slytherin asked, expression and tone showing how startled he was. It was just... he never really thought about Fauna crying. She was like one of those characters in muggle fairy stories. Small forest animals (or, okay, in Fauna's case probably wolves) helped her fix her hair in the morning and no one ever made her cry because that would just be too mean. Apparently, though, someone or something hadn't gotten that particular memo. And for some inexplicable reason, that nettled Fergie. "Are you - Hey. What's wrong?"

The sound of her name made her jump in surprise, and she looked up with a mortified expression, the shock of being found causing her tears to halt for the moment. But her face was still red and splotchy, and she kept her hands over her cheeks like a kid guarding a sunburn.

Ferguson Amherst. Oh, hell. He was staring at her with concern and surprise, but Fauna turned her face away, expecting some comment about her runny nose or the state of her hair. More than likely, he'd run off in a minute and gossip with his friends about the crazy Hufflepuff sobbing near the kitchens like a scolded house elf.

In her mood, she couldn't help but expect the worst, even though there had been occasions this winter when they had tolerated each other enough to be... friendly? She shook her head and put her hand up to her face, too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

"Nothing," Fauna hiccuped. Great. Now she sounded like a drunk house elf. "It's... stupid. Just don't tell anyone you saw me, okay?" She gave him a miserable, but hopeful look. Maybe he wouldn't gossip about her if she asked him not to. "I'll leave," she muttered, standing, about to step past him.

Fergie couldn't really blame Fauna for not looking overjoyed to see him. Who wanted to be caught crying their eyes out, after all? Especially by someone who was not exactly your bff or anything. Fergie and Fauna weren't even friends, really. Just two people who the universe seemed to enjoy throwing together at awkward intervals.

But that didn't mean he was going to just let her walk away when she was clearly very deeply upset. "It's not stupid," he told her, even though he didn't know what it was. He just knew that when someone was that hurt over something, it was a big deal. "You don't have to go - I won't tell anyone, I promise." Fergie moved to block her exit. If she really wanted to leave, he'd let her, of course, but he wanted to try this first.

"Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Fergie fiddled with his sleeve, smoothing out the wrinkles. This was kind of awkward, and he wasn't sure if Fauna was going to throw her shoe at him and yell at him to go away or something. "I mean, I know we're not... close, or anything, and I know I sometimes make fun of your hats." Not that he could be blamed for that, really. "But I'm sorry you're upset. What happened?"

Fauna blinked at Fergie through a haze of tears, shocked and confused by his helpful behavior. He was being considerate. He was acting concerned. He even promised not to tell anyone, and though Fauna looked at him warily, her shoulders slumped in relief.

Now he was asking her what happened. Fauna stood there for a moment, biting her lip, wondering if it was better to tell him so he wouldn't think the worst. After he heard it, he could pass it off as a minor teenager problem and get on with his afternoon, and they could both pretend that he'd never seen her crying.

Right?

"I broke up with him. Devlin. Today." She let out a loud sniffle, avoiding his eyes.

"I know you probably think... no wonder, that I'm not, you know, his type anyway. And I guess you'd be right, because..." she took a deep, shuddering breath. "He was using me. He only started dating me to upset my friend, to prove something. And it worked. And I lost her."

Fauna hadn't meant to say that much, and shook her head, brushing at her eyes.

Fauna had broken up with Devlin? Fergie's eyebrows lifted in faint surprise. It wasn't that he'd ever really thought of them as compatible. Fauna was so well meaning and idealistic. Devlin was a slacker, a trouble maker. It was just that Fauna had always seemed to really like Devlin, for some inexplicable reason. Even after he'd gotten himself expelled.

So if she'd put up with all of that, what could possibly have happened to derail things?

"He was using me."

Oh. Well, that would do it.

Fergie blinked and shifted his weight from one foot to the other while he considered what to say in response to that. Then he stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Why don't we -" He directed his gaze toward where she'd been sitting, an ammended this comment mid-sentence, "you sit down." There was only one empty bucket, after all. And even if there'd been another, Fergie didn't think he could bring himself to sit on it. He didn't know where it had been. What if someone had used it when mopping up the bathroom floor? Ew.

He should have brought Pepper with him. Things would be so much easier if he could just be like 'HERE. CUDDLE THIS.', and hand her the kitten. There was no way the girl could not feel better after that, at least a little. Pepper had magical cheering up powers, he'd already discovered. But instead, he was left relying on the handkerchief and whatever words his brain happened to come up with. "Here," he took said handkerchief out of his pocket and held it out to her, adding, "it's clean." And, after a short pause, "I'm sorry." It wasn't as good as a kitten, but it would have to do for now. "That sucks. He shouldn't have treated you that way."

Though she'd half-expected Fergie to say 'oh, is that all' and make his exit as fast as possible, Fauna let him guide her towards the bucket, where she sat, looking at him with unmasked bewilderment. He was being nice. Why was he being so nice? He put his arm around her almost like they were friends.

She took the offered handkerchief like it was some mysterious, alien object. Of course Fergie would own a handkerchief and actually carry it around. But she hadn't expected him to just give it to her. Was she supposed to use it? What if she got, you know, snot on it?

Fauna dabbed at her eyes experimentally, still staring at Fergie like some kind of wounded puppy who had just been given a bone by the person she expected it from least.

"That sucks. He shouldn't have treated you that way."

"Yeah..." she mumbled. Dab dab. This handkerchief wasn't such a bad idea. She could store one in the brim of her hat, she bet.

Thinking about the handkerchief as a distraction only lasted for so long. "I can't believe he'd do that!" Her voice trembled and she shook her head. "I mean - I thought he actually liked me. And maybe he ended up liking me but... it didn't start that way. People even warned me. Like my friends and stuff," Fauna admitted, looking more miserable by the second. "Waker, then Sophie, even Fig. But-"

She cut herself off, face crumpling. "I'm such a dumbass!" As she started crying again, her hand closed around the handkerchief and she brought it up to hide her nose and chin. Snot be damned!

Fergie had no problem believing Devlin would do that. He didn't know the bloke very well himself - they had never exactly run in the same circles. But Matthews had a reputation around the school, and some of his schemes had involved people Fergie cared about (Sasha, Jordyn). But he didn't think anything smacking of 'I told you so' was going to help in this situation. He wanted to make Fauna feel better ...for some reason. He didn't want to make it worse.

"You are not a dumbass," he told her firmly, folding his arms across his chest and frowning down at her to show he meant it. And, to be honest, he actually really did. Fauna was naive, and a little misguided about some things (hats, werewolves), but she wasn't dumb. "You can't help liking who you like. Sometimes you just end up caring about a person, whether it's a good idea or not." How many months had he spent pining over Sasha even though he knew - or at least had thought he'd known - it was useless? "The heart wants what the heart wants. That's not your fault. It's his fault, for taking advantage of that. Don't blame yourself. If anything, he's the dumbass for thinking he could treat you like a plaything and get away with it."

Fauna had half-expected Fergie to agree with the 'dumbass' comment, at least privately. In her mortified, self-pitying state, she focused on all the bad things, and remembered what he and Sasha thought about her goals and academic abilities during their get-together at Akiva's over the holidays. She wasn't feeling very smart or proud of herself right now, that was for sure.

So when he outright disagreed, giving her a stern look, Fauna quit blubbering for a few moments and stared at him. He sounded like he meant it. And what reason would Fergie have to lie to her just to make her feel better?

His words did make her feel a little better, even as that little voice in the back of her head piped up with discouraging, cruel comments to compensate for the nice things he was saying.

"I mean, I don't... blame myself," she said confusedly, trying to sort out her conflicting feelings. "It just hurts so much. He was my first boyfriend. And... it's like, to find out it was based off of some stupid mind game."

She shook her head and sniffled. "It's not like that was the only problem, but... I thought I could handle everything else. I wanted to be there for him. And... it's just... he said once that I was the only good thing in his life," she mumbled, resting her hands on her lap as she glanced down at the crumpled handkerchief.

He was only going to have Greyfriar now. Fauna just wanted to feel sad, or better yet, angry at Devlin, but an annoying sense of concern for him kept interrupting her thoughts as she wondered what would happen to Devlin now.

Fergie wasn't heartless. That had to be why he was doing this, right? Because while he'd never actually disliked Fauna, he'd always found her mildly irritating. And in general he thought there had to be some middle ground between that and being like 'Oh, you're sad? Here, take my handkerchief and some encouraging words of wisdom'. It just didn't happen in an instant.

Except, apparently, when Fauna Blake was blubbering on a bucket. Life was weird, sometimes.

And Fergie couldn't really imagine what he'd do if he was in the Hufflepuff girl's situation. If Sasha suddenly said 'sorry, I was only dating you to make Neely jealous' he would have been crushed, too. Of course, that wasn't likely to happen, thank Merlin. But it would take an idiot not to see how much that would hurt. He awkwardly patted Fauna on the shoulder, trying to think of something useful to say.

"And... it's just... he said once that I was the only good thing in his life,"

"Woah, wait, hang on." That offered him plenty of inspiration to speak, although it wasn't so much offering encouragement as it was blatant disbelief. "You're not seriously... you don't feel sorry for him, do you? I mean, I can understand wanting to be there for someone." Of course. He'd been there for Sasha the past two months, hadn't he? "But Fauna, he manipulated and used you. He deserves your... your wrath, not your sympathy!"

Seriously. Hufflepuffs. He just didn't understand them.

Her face flushed when Fergie told her that she should be pissed off, not worried about him. "Yeah," her brow furrowed. "I know... I mean, I'm just really messed up right now," she shrugged, giving him a sheepish look.

"I was angry enough to break up with him, you know? I don't know why I feel so bad about it." Or why she was telling Fergie everything, to be honest. It was like that time she'd sobbed on Figaro's shoulder (also because of Devlin)!

Fauna ran a hand through her hair and rested her back against the wall. She'd spent the past few months defending Devlin to friends and family, trying to be loyal, trying to keep his secrets. When Fig or others had told her something upsetting, she'd kept thinking about the good things, the reasons why she liked him. Now, it just seemed like she was at two extremes. She either loved him or hated him. She was either loyal, or... not.

"I know he doesn't have many people who care about him. His dad - muggle dad, disowned him after he found out... some stuff. And he's been through a lot lately with the arrest, getting expelled, fighting with Greyfriar. And I didn't really give him a chance to explain about the other things I was upset over, I just sort of ranted about it when he let it slip about Waker. And then, I mean, I broke up with him."

She paused, swallowed. "I was just trying to be... a decent girlfriend. But I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I let people manipulate me, like he said."

Fauna looked at Fergie, then looked away, embarrassed.

Fergie didn't understand why she felt so bad about it either. Honestly, he had never held Devlin in high esteem anyway, and from what Fauna was saying? She was better off. Of course, he guessed there was a difference between rationally knowing that, and actually feeling it. His own head and heart didn't always match up either, after all. Sometimes you knew something intellectually that you could never convince yourself to remember from an emotional standpoint.

And, okay, he'd never broken up with anyone, but it wasn't like he lived in a hole in the ground. He knew enough to know that it generally took a while to recover from it. Plus, Hufflepuffs were known for, you know, being over emotional and lovey and full of forgiveness. It was kind of their schtick.

Fergie waited until Fauna was done explaining, and thoughtfully chewed his lip after she was done. Merlin, she was pathetic. And he wasn't thinking that to be mean, she just was, in that moment. It was so pitiful. It made him want to like, hug her or something. He settled for giving her a comforting pat on the head instead.

"Fauna, I am going to clue you in on something, 'kay?" Fergie moved to rest his hands on the older girl's shoulders, leaning down so he was at her level. "We're teenagers. None of us know what we're doing, not really. Trying is just about all we can do, and we're bound to muck things up on occasion. So... don't feel bad about that. Besides," he added, "how many girlfriends would stay with someone who'd managed to get themselves arrested and expelled? I'd say you were a pretty damn good one.

"Better than Matthews seems to deserve," he admitted bluntly, and straightened with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Seriously, you can't make it your responsibility to fix his life just because it's broken. I mean, I'm not going to say getting disowned was his fault - I don't know anything about that, and I know that kind of thing is beyond complicated, and there's very little I can think of that would legitamitely merit disownment - " Because again, teenagers screwed up, it's who they were. And sometimes parents disowned their kids for things that the kids either couldn't help or didn't know any better and it was just... not a very fair practice, but unfortunately not as uncommon as it should have been, at least in the pureblood social sphere. Fergie wasn't going to take this moment to think about that same possibility looming over him, though, because... well, he just tried not to think about it in general. "- but everything else? It sounds like he brings his problems on himself. And he's the only one that can fix that. You can't change people, you can only encourage them to want to change for themselves. And if they don't, then it's not your fault and it's definitely not your job to hold their hand while they wallow in their self-imposed angst."

Strangely enough, Fergie's no-nonsense, yet reassuring approach was making her feel a little better. She wasn't the only teenager in a relationship who didn't know what she was doing. Fauna supposed she had tried to be there for Devlin throughout everything, the arrest and expulsion, and if not for the friends issue and the lying issue she hoped she would have handled the long distance and stuck by him.

It was the first time that she'd seen Fergie act so seriously and thoughtfully, especially in regards to her. Between them, there was often an element of derision at worst, forced politeness at best. Fauna was surprised when he bent down to look at her, even more surprised that he seemed to relate so honestly, pausing once to gather his thoughts. This reassurance coming from an acquaintance almost seemed to mean more, or at least feel safer, because he was probably more objective and didn't have anything to lose by telling her the truth.

Fergie explained that Devlin needed to change for himself, which struck a chord with her. It was one reason why Fauna hadn't given Devlin another chance, hadn't told him what to do to fix things. She didn't even know if it could be fixed. But it was up to Devlin to decide what he wanted.

"Yeah," she nodded, letting out a relieved sigh. "You have a point." Fauna still felt conflicted. She still worried that she was betraying Devlin or giving up on him. She just focused on what Fergie said for the moment, holding on to those words because they made her feel better.

"Why are you being so nice?" Fauna asked suddenly in a curious, wary tone, glancing up at him.

 Fergie flushed, embarrassed, and ducked his head. "I don't know." His shoulders hitched in a shrug. This was awkward. Why'd she have to call him out on it? It was easier to ignore the fact that he was being nice to Faunawhen they weren't talking about it. "I just... you were crying. And I guess... I mean, it's been a rough year, for everyone. I know what being miserable feels like."

---

"Well," Fauna bit her lip and shrugged, seeing that she'd embarrassed him. "Um, you know. Thanks."


Her face flushed. She'd expected him to just go on his merry way when he'd spotted her earlier. He'd not only stopped and asked if she was ok, but he'd spent time trying to make her feel better. He'd even succeeded, somewhat. If she were a Slytherin, she'd be a heck of a lot more suspicious about his nice behaviour. As it was, she just accepted it. Needed to.


It had been a rough year for everyone. She couldn't help but wonder what Ferguson Amherst had to feel miserable about. He always seemed polished and put together, at least when Callum wasn't beating him up.

---

"It's no big deal, really," Fergie stressed, dismissing Fauna's thanks with a wave of the hand. Because it was just - it was weird. He'd never exactly been buddy-buddy with the older Hufflepuff girl, and it wasn't like he was planning on starting now. (Was he?) So having the girl's gratitude was just... 'bizarre' was the only word for it.

"And um, look, I'm not going to tell anyone about this. And you don't have to tell anyone either." Not that he minded helping Fauna out. Because whatever, he wasn't heartless. He just didn't think the entire world needed to know about it, and he figured Fauna probably felt the same way. Sobbing his eyes out had never been something he'd, personally, ever wanted broadcasted.

---

"Yeah, I mean... that sounds good. That's good," Fauna nodded, agreeing that they didn't need anyone else to know she'd sobbed on him and he'd been nice to her.

"Um," She stood, about to thank him again, then resisted the urge. 

"Should I...? Do you...?" Fauna held up the handkerchief, stymied by its presence, and what she was supposed to do with it now. Scourgify it? Ask the house elves to wash it? Hand it back to him all yucky? Probably not the third one.

---

"Er... you can, y'know, keep it." Fergie offered with a shrug, looking at the handkerchief in Fauna's hand. He wasn't sure he could use it again, knowing that Fauna had. Not because he was afraid of her germs or anything. It was just... it'd be weird. "I have others."

The Slytherin ducked his head again, scuffing his shoe across the stone floor. "So, are you... okay now?"

---

 "Okay," Fauna nodded, relieved, and tucked the handkerchief in her pocket.


He asked if she was alright, and she nodded again. "Yeah. Um... I'll probably go back to my dorm. So..."


She didn't know what to say next. See ya? Thank you? This is weird?


"Er, bye," she settled for a half-wave, turning and heading down the corridor.

---

taken from IM