-- Razzy's Outfit -- -- Lunchtime --

---

Students were filling the Great Hall, hurrying to get to the good food before everyone else. Razzy never really ate lunch. He ate breakfast and supper. He didn't understand how students could gorge themselves on the awful food. But Razzy was a picky eater. Most food he ate was either home cooked or potatoes. Perhaps that was why he was so slim. He watched as his housemates filed out of the common room as he sat in a rather plushy chair by the boy's dormitory opening. He sat with his chin resting in the palm of his hand, his elbow pressing hard against the armrest. Razzy was simply people watching today... Hufflepuffs were odd creatures.

"Reynaud, are you going to lunch?" one of his classmates asked.

Razzy paused and shrugged lightly, "I'll wait until the common room clears up".

"You might miss out, though..."

The classmate walked out ahead of him. Razzy simply stayed in place. His mind was practically stuck in the day before... How Eli had given him a strong talking to about his shenanigans with Erin Harper. He didn't feel guilty... Heaven's no. He simply wished Eli hadn't found out. Razzy preferred things easy and undramatic. But he wasn't sure if he truly cared... He really enjoyed Eli when he was mad. It was sexy. He was growing slightly concerned with his lack of caring... But in the end, he didn't care. That was the Razzy way, after all.

He really wanted to see Erin, actually. The short, sulky blonde was always lingering in Razzy's thoughts. Whether it be one of his long, blank sitting sessions or his people watching... The boy tended to creep into the Hufflepuff's thoughts... Or someone would say or do something that reminded him of Erin. It didn't bother Razzy, really... He was just bothered by the lack of Erin in his life. Call it an obsession, but Razzy didn't seem to notice how unhealthy his attraction towards certain people could be.

It wasn't unhealthy, though... Was it?

With a sigh, Razzy rose from his seat and headed out of the empty common room, into the dungeons. Razzy thought about attending lunch... or maybe just walking aimlessly around the corridors. He wasn't sure which he preferred: sitting with a bunch of nasty teenagers who ate like pigs... Or roaming around, looking lost like a dumb shit first year. Before he could truly make up his mind, he was trotting through the Great Hall's antechamber and coming to a reluctant halt. His eyes glanced around the Hufflepuff table. He didn't want to sit with them. He really didn't. So, naturally, his gaze flicked to the Slytherin table. Razzy felt rather nostalgic doing this... It felt just like New Years again. After a small analysis of the table, Erin's grumpy form was easily spotted.

It was strange how Razzy could easily recognize that characteristic lump... For lack of a better word.

A small smirk curved his lips and he stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. He hadn't seen Erin much since he heard word of his Grandmother's awful state. Then again, he hadn't seen basically anyone. Razzy had been hiding for quite some time... And the few classes he did attend, he hadn't taken the liberty to spot Erin out. To say Razzy was depressed would be an understatement. However, the Hufflepuff had made peace with his Grandmother's death. His state turned back into the nonchalant, indifferent Razzy as it always was.

There was a big difference from New Years in the great hall, however... There were a lot more people. A lot more Slytherins, too. And Slytherins weren't big fans of Hufflepuffs. But Razzy didn't give a rat's ass. He waltzed right up behind Erin and slipped his slim buttocks right between him and the Slytherin that occupied the seat next to him, his back against the table as it was the first time he approached Erin in the hall.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" the student asked. Razzy ignored them. He sure hoped they weren't Erin's friend, because if they were... Well... Razzy wasn't a big fan of them. And he was pretty sure if he couldn't get with Erin's friends, he couldn't be Erin's lover. Because friendship never ends. He read that in a poetry book before, if he could recall.

"You know, amour de ma vie... We have to stop meeting like this. It's getting a bit tiring," Razzy told Erin, sweetly, his eyes boring down onto the Slytherin. Eye sex would be the term for it... Or perhaps eye molestation... It depended on how Erin was feeling at the moment. "You know I'm not much of a chaser..." He paused, his sculpted eyebrows raising with faux-pondering, "Well, Quidditch doesn't count". He bit his lip and his smile widened. He really missed Erin. And simply being in his presence made him feel better.

He rose from the seat and placed a hand on Erin's shoulder, excitement visible in his generally blank face, "I think you know the drill by now... Don't make me force you up..." another pause, "maybe force wouldn't be so bad... You know me".

Another day, another lack of dollar. Erin was simply sitting at the Slytherin table, minding his own plate, when some idiot sat down way too close, jostling him and causing the student on the other side to snarl, "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Normally Erin would have  heartily agreed, had he not looked up with a sneer ready-made on his face and realized that that idiot was his idiot.

The sneer dropped off his face so fast proponents of the Make-A-Slytherin-Smile project would have murmured in wondering appreciation. Instead Erin lit up, grinning in happy imitation of the first time Razzy had done this and looking like his birthday'd come early. "Razzy!" (But, in honor of the special memory of last time, he kept a wary elbow over his potatoes too, even as he twisted in his seat to face the other boy.) "You're back?"

But now he'd paused and was frowning a little as he took in Razzy's words, head cocked as he looked him over - the Slytherins nearby were muttering nastily, snickering and whispering to each other - and Erin really wasn't sure whether he wanted to knock Razzy over with a hug or knock him over with his fists. Razzy had been gone an awful long time. No letters, no word from him at all - not that Erin would have written him back - and now he'd slunk back down beside Erin at the table like he'd never left. It was disconcerting, even disregarding the fact that before he'd disappeared he'd only been back for a few days after Christmas break, and then seemingly just to attempt to snog Erin and leave again.

Not that it'd been a bad kiss. It'd been a brilliant - if confusing and a little unwelcome - kiss. Erin had spent a lot of time thinking about that kiss, and a lot of time thinking about Razzy. Probably more than he should've since, as Erin well knew from an exciting year of unexpected snogs, that it didn't necessarily mean anything than a momentary good time.

Still, at Razzy's casual greeting, his damn stupid little French endearments, the flames of bitterness, resentment, happiness, and hope flared in Erin's hardened little heart. (Yes, all at once.) He tried to squash all but the latter two. After all, regardless of the messy other things, Razzy was his friend. Erin didn't have many of those. That alone made his return worth celebrating, and celebration wasn't hard to do. If he just focused solely on the good feelings, he felt happy enough to burst.

So he cleared his expression, laughed, and rose easily from the table.

"Yes," he said, smiling. "I do. Let's go."

"Razzy! You're back?"

Flashing Erin a genuine smile, he shrugged, "Who knows... perhaps I'm really a ghost," he teased. He was pleasantly surprised with Erin's reaction, though his suave exterior showed on immediate shock. Did Erin miss Razzy as much as he missed him? Razzy looked the boy over once more, noticing how innocently he placed his arm around his tray. Another surprise... He actually remembered Razzy's tendency to steal potatoes. Now that was a sign it was, like, true love forever or something.

His eyes carefully watched Erin's expression. He seemed quite happy... But there was a hint of confusion behind it all. And maybe a tad bitterness. But Razzy was always doubting his face-reading skills. He simply smiled sweetly and went with the usual routine, "You look surprised," he said, bluntly. But he never offered to explain the whole mess to the Slytherin. He would give a half ass excuse to Erin, just as he did with Eli... The only difference being was that Erin probably wouldn't be screaming at him.

The Hufflepuff truly wished to pull Erin along by his hand, but instead walked side-by-side with the Slytherin as they did New Year's Eve. Again, nostalgia kicked in, yet Razzy doubted their conversation would end in a heated kiss. He truly hoped it would... But there were simply too many witnesses around now. Razzy respected Erin's secrecy... But he also hoped to one day bring him out into the open. He didn't want to be in a committed relationship with anyone... But he did wish to stay with Erin for a while. At least, until Erin finally pushed Razzy completely away. This action could be a bit hard, considering how determined Razzy was to win Erin over. But he knows when enough is enough... Right now, at least.

He was pleased with how casually Erin agreed to join him. He guessed they were close enough now that a simple seductive plea could get the boy to follow Razzy. They were truly connected now... Razzy felt much more calm around Erin, as if he couldn't say anything wrong anymore. Of course, he still kept his restrictions on pet names and calling Erin "cute". But as they reached the antechamber, his gaze turned from the doors ahead of them and down at the Slytherin.

Razzy found him incredibly attractive, there was no denying that... But he knew Erin didn't appreciate the Hufflepuff's advances.

As soon as they were through the door, Razzy closed it calmly and circled in front of Erin, walking backwards with a wicked smile on his face. "I hope I didn't embarrass you... Did I?" He asked, his voice bordering on innocent. "Merlin knows you wouldn't want people thinking we're close..." his lip twitched slightly as he formed the word on his lips, "friends... That's preposterous". Razzy never called anyone his "friend" before... But he wanted to gain Erin's trust... He doubted Erin wanted to be more than "friends". He could just sense it... That Erin didn't feel what Razzy did. Hopefully, it was just him being paranoid.

Once they were in the entrance hall, Razzy turned and stopped against the wall to the right of the exit. He looked Erin up and down once more, "I'm sorry," Razzy lied told his counterpart, "I'm sorry I was gone for so long..." he paused, his smile fading. Razzy took a moment, his blank stare looking momentarily human, "It won't happen again... It was torture being away from you". It was cheesy... But it was the truth.

Razzy closed the door behind them, and now they stood in the Great Hall. Even through the door, Erin could still hear the muted roar of Hogwarts lunch time. He was very aware of the sea of people just on the other side. Even if Razzy tried something on him now, at least he'd had the good sense not to flirt in public.

"You didn't embarrass me," Erin said with a shrug. "Too much. Plaid, Razzy, really?" It was easy to joke around with Razzy, way easier than saying something meaningful. For all that he'd felt while Razzy was away, for all that he was feeling now, Erin would never mention it. It was another way in which he was quite unlike Eli. When he was angry, yes, it was all flying fists and insults. But Erin found sharing feelings quite an uncomfortable business, and preferred to keep such things to himself. "I guess I can't expect you to be able to overcome your inherent Hufflepuffness."

"Merlin knows you wouldn't want people thinking we're close...friends... That's preposterous."

"Stop circling me, and maybe we can be friends." It was making him antsy, all this leering. But then, Razzy never liked to make things easy.

Then again... this apology sounded quite promising. At first, that was. Then Razzy segued into something about it being torturous being away from Erin and how it wouldn't happen again. He looked quite sincere, his tone free of mocking or sarcasm... but Erin knew Razzy better than that, and he suspected a line. He wrinkled his nose at Razzy before his expression smoothed out and changed again, somehow managing to suggest entirely through the quirk of an eyebrow or the twist of the mouth his utter skepticism of such cheesy bullshite.

"Right. I'm sure it was real torture snogging your cousins. Didn't any of those French girls know how to kiss?"

"You didn't embarrass me... Too much. Plaid, Razzy, really?"

The Hufflepuff chuckled, "I wasn't aware that I needed to make a nice statement for your posh Slytherin pals," he spread his jacket open, unleashing the full fury of his tacky plaid shirt. He smiled, brightly, and shrugged, "I'm going for the, ahh... White-Trash American look," he told his friend, "I heard it gets all the ladies... If you look like you've been raised in a cabin and have no proper education." Though, education hardly meant a thing to the tall boy. While he was certainly down to Earth and could seemingly keep intelligent conversation, it was quite obvious that all Hogwarts taught him was how to tie a tie.

He let his jacket go and drape back down onto his skinny body. Razzy had been practicing Quidditch a whole lot lately, working out and whatnot. It helped him keep his mind off of things. However, his build was naturally slender. Razzy had hardly even noticed a difference in himself, but he did have rather tone arms and abs... For a sixteen year old, that is.

"I guess I can't expect you to be able to overcome your inherent Hufflepuffness."

"Oh right," Razzy nodded, mocking a quizzical expression on his face, "Because we all know how I'm so Hufflepuffy. What're we again? Hard working. Look at how hard working I am," he joked. While most people couldn't see it, Razzy was a rather hard working boy. If he wanted something, he definitely did his best to get it. Razzy actually enjoyed being a Hufflepuff... It was the house where he belonged, after all. He connected with the people. He was apart of the people. And Razzy was proud. "And I guess I can't expect you to not be a pricky Slytherin, now can I?" He poked at Erin, his tone clearly joking.

"Stop circling me, and maybe we can be friends."

Razzy begrudgingly did as he was told and gave the boy a halfhearted smile, "Well excuse me, Monsieur Attitude. Not sure if I want to be your friend." Of course, Razzy technically didn't want to be anyone's "friend". However, he had to make sacrifices to impress the Harper boy. And Razzy was basically willing to do anything. Maybe not shave his head, actually... Or chop off his bollocks. But anything else, really.

Of course, the one time he spills his heart out (kind of) to the boy he's obsessed over, they shrug it off and believe Razzy to be a downright liar. Razzy watched in (somewhat) horror as Erin's expressions shifted around until he spoke in his usual sarcastic I-don't-give-a-rat's-ass-about-your-feelings tone.

"Right. I'm sure it was real torture snogging your cousins. Didn't any of those French girls know how to kiss?"

What little hope that was lingering in the tall boy's green eyes immediately died in a gruesome, painful death. However, being Razzy, only the smallest of knots formed in his stomach. But to Razzy, this was big... Considering he generally didn't have emotions. "Considering you lot call tongue kissing, 'french kissing', I'd have to say they're not that bad... Once you get past the excess amounts of saliva and the knowledge that they're your raunchy ass cousin," he joked, one of his so-fake-it-could-be-real smirks forming on his face.

Perhaps the feeling truly wasn't mutual.

It was then that Razzy had a thought: Why did he put up with this? Why would he chase this boy around only to feel disappointment? But he gave himself the answer already... Erin Harper made Razzy feel. Not so much lust, as Eli did, but much more. Razzy was afraid, he truly was. He was afraid he was changing, changing for the worst. He wasn't feeling as much as he used to. His own problem was that he was aware of his changes. His friends and family weren't the only ones witnessing the difference in his moods and mannerisms. He was doing anything he could to feel something. Anything. He ripped the legs off of desks and beat people with them, for Merlin's sake.

He hated to think he was just using Erin for his own personal benefit... To feel something. But he was beginning to wonder if Erin even benefited from their relationship. But wasn't that what everyone had a relationship for? To have the sensation of being happy and in love.

Not that Razzy felt love for the rude Slytherin. Or did he? He was sixteen and Anti-Social. He had no one to talk to about this dilemma... In short, he was confused. It was almost like the first time he realized he found men attractive... It was a strange experience.

The Hufflepuff looked Erin over once more, the silence between them growing longer by the second. The boy had no clue what he made Razzy go through. The Hufflepuff wasn't sure if this made him upset, or content. On one hand, he wished Erin knew every single thing about him. He didn't want to lie. He didn't want to hold anything back... On the other hand, reality would sink in. If Razzy had no true meaning to make Erin happy, how would they work out? Razzy was selfish.

It came clear to him that telling the truth would get him nowhere. Erin would hardly believe him, anyway. He didn't believe him when he merely said he missed him. Perhaps what he was feeling was nothing. He didn't know any better. He was young. He didn't have feelings.

However, Razzy finally slipped out of his thoughts and smiled, weakly. Erin didn't want to talk about Razzy's absence. So he wouldn't talk about it. "So what did you do, Erin?" He asked, his faux-sweet tone creeping through his voice, "Shag a few broads? Catch'a feel of a gal's bum? Of course, of course. I'm sure you were very productive, also." There was no possible way that Erin could have noticed that Razzy had felt rather hurt by it all. The Hufflepuff was good, wasn't he? At keeping it all hidden... For now, he would try to act the same... But he still doubted the potential love fondness that could grow between them.

"You can tell me, lovely. I swear I won't get jealous," he winked and stepped closer to the Slytherin. In a way, Razzy needed physical love and affection in his life. He wasn't sure if Erin would ever let him kiss him again, though Razzy very much wanted to do so, a little closeness would have to do. And hopefully Erin wouldn't back away... Or leave, for that matter.

Erin looked at him for a long, long moment. "I think it worked," he said finally, carefully and deliberately straight-faced.

"Because we all know how I'm so Hufflepuffy. What're we again? Hard working. Look at how hard working I am."

"Not at schoolwork, yeah." Erin raised his eyebrows, mouth twisting into a sly little moue. "But at charming the pants off half the student population? I heard you're pretty good." Erin hadn't been sitting on his arse the whole time Razzy was gone, no. He and public knowledge were not generally acquainted, and he would never admit to his investigating or the reason that he was investigating, but he had poked around. The result had sort of surprised him.... but not really. Razzy played charming all the time, every time, delighting in flustering, teasing, or otherwise slowly turning Erin red. If he did that to everyone, Erin could believe how the weak could be fooled.

"Well excuse me, Monsieur Attitude. Not sure if I want to be your friend."

" 'Course you do." he said easily. "Slytherin table has the best potatoes."

If his words inspired any horror or dread in Razzy, Erin didn't see it. He was good at reading people, but Razzy was better at hiding his reactions than he was at reading them, and Erin didn't know he was supposed to be looking for anything besides. He wrinkled his nose at the crack about french-kissing cousins, and let that speak for itself.

There was a long silence. Razzy just looked at him and didn't speak. Ordinarily, this might make Erin uncomfortable. He wasn't good at being patient, or at out-waiting people, and Razzy had such a stare. It was almost creepy at times, how intense those green eyes were. But it'd been months, and Erin had missed him. He would have stared back, taken the chance to look too, but there was something that smacked of too close and too personal in such an action. It gave away.... well he didn't know what it gave away, but whatever it was it was something he'd rather keep to himself. He fixed his blue eyes on the flagstones at Razzy's feet instead until the other boy spoke and broke the quiet.

"So what did you do, Erin? You can tell me, lovely. I swear I won't get jealous."

"Yeah?" he asked, a wry smile flickering on then off again. "Yeah, a bit." Yumi, for instance, had been brilliant. Pity she was a he. Gigi was looking like an attractive option though. "It's been pretty boring actually. Hate to disappoint."

"Of course it worked," Razzy responded, his controlled expression challenging Erin's, "If my system was flawed, I wouldn't be using it, now would I?" A light smirked formed again on his face. He missed them shooting the shit aimlessly. He missed being someone's friend. It was strange how easily they spoke together. Razzy generally had nice conversational skills... But with Erin, it was as if he hardly had to think before he spoke. He had no thought process. His thoughts spewed out of his mouth, only to be welcomed by his companion.

That sickly feeling continued to knot his stomach.

"Not at schoolwork, yeah. But at charming the pants off half the student population? I heard you're pretty good."

Oh. How embarrassing. Razzy shrugged, lightly, as if it was nothing, before giving Erin his cockiest smile. It was well known that Razzy was, for lack of a better term, a slut. The term "player" was too gratuitous for Razzy... Too clean and sweet. Razzy broke the common trend of calling boys who got around, "players". He accepted his unchaste moniker. It made him laugh. Something about abusing his charm and throwing people to the side afterward just made Razzy laugh. It was never stated that Razzy was a nice, young man. He pushed his bangs out of his face and continued to smirk,

"What can I say?" he acted so innocent, as if he was being complimented and he was trying to be humble. Razzy wasn't surprised that Erin found out. It was common word around the school. Bring Razzy up, one of two things would be said. First being that he was odd, second being that he was a horndog. Erin seemed to take it alright, but Razzy wasn't so sure. If Erin wasn't the slightest envious... It almost seemed to bother Razzy that he couldn't trace it on his expression. Didn't he care? Eli was always bothering him about he was always going behind his back. And what those two had wasn't love.

Again, Razzy had to remind himself that "love" was a word that he could hardly take seriously.

He bit his bottom lip, "It's not my fault that we have a lovely selection of dumb students here at Hogwarts. If they weren't so easy, I would just be some sexless bloke with a foreign accent." That sounded like a fate worse than death to Razzy. He couldn't imagine going without affection for more than a week, yet alone a whole lifetime. Also, he kind of used that accent of his to get some of the dumber ladies sometimes. Sometimes, all one needed was a different dialect and suddenly they're attractive. It was amazing how stupid people could be. He was so lucky.

" 'Course you do. Slytherin table has the best potatoes."

Razzy chuckled, "Who's to say I wouldn't just come over and steal them, anyways?" He raised an eyebrow, coaxing Erin in to challenge him. Potatoes were potatoes. They all tasted delicious to him, so he hardly could tell a difference between any of them. Erin was just downright silly. "Truth is... With a face like that, Erin, how could I ever turn away from you?" Cue the charming smile and trademark tilt of the head. He didn't call him "cute" at least. But Razzy had been so tempted to.

Erin stayed quiet as Razzy's thoughts melted and raced. They filled up and drained endlessly. Erin stared at the floor below them. If Razzy hadn't been debating with himself about why he even stuck around the Slytherin all the time, he would have enjoyed that silence. Erin's presence made all the difference to Razzy. It was never awkward. Never forced. Everything flowed correctly. Everything seemed right.

Erin drove Razzy mad in all the right ways. If only he could admit to himself that this obsession was something so much more.

For a moment, while Razzy's eyes traced Erin's jawbone and the curve of his lips... He wished the boy would look at him. Only for an instance. Only as much so Razzy could see a glimmer of emotion on his face. He wanted to dissect him. See what he was thinking. See what he felt. If Erin were to look up, Razzy felt as if he could just bore into his soul. He wanted to know what he thought of Razzy, why he always seemed to look so happy when they spoke nowadays. Why they never spoke about that kiss... If he only thought of Razzy as a "friend".

Please don't think of me as just a friend.

But Erin continued to stare down. The sickness grew tighter around Razzy's stomach, up to his chest. He decided to push the thought away... Ignore it. He should just enjoy Erin's company while he could.

"It's been pretty boring actually. Hate to disappoint."

Without thinking, Razzy mumbled, "Good." An innocent grin spread from ear to ear, as if he meant to say that. He didn't think before he spoke around Erin. "I lied, anyways," he assured him, but then said nothing more about it. He told Erin plenty of lies. That fact was beginning to bother him. But he promised himself he wouldn't tell Erin everything. Not yet, at least... He was afraid of what he would think.

He was closer to Erin now, hardly even a foot away. He knew Erin didn't like being touched. He remembered this. It was odd, how Razzy became so fond over someone who hated to have their personal space violated. Razzy was a boy of affection, and Erin was a boy of pushing people away. Instead of giving up with Erin and finding someone easier, he adjusted to the boy. While he had his impulses (such as trying to hold Erin's hand... and always being rejected, which was completely adorable), he controlled his urge to hug and hold and kiss and ravish. While this was a-okay for Erin, Razzy always turned all that sexual frustration to different students around the school.

He felt unhealthy, the more times he went behind Erin's back. But he needed that pleasure. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't save all of it for Erin for when he could possibly cave in... If that were to ever even happen... Razzy would grow restless and aggravated.

Erin didn't like to be touched. Razzy lightly picked off a piece of lint from the other boy's shirt, making sure his closeness wouldn't effect him all too much. "They all mean nothing to me... Just so you know," Razzy's gaze turned from Erin's shirt and back to his eyes, "Those people you heard about... The ones I've gotten around with. I don't care about them... Like..." he paused, hesitantly, "Like I do with you, you know?" He looked away again, almost embarrassed for showing more emotion. He didn't think before he spoke around Erin. Razzy only wished he could simply shut himself up.

"I didn't see any ladies throwing themselves at you," Erin countered with a grin. "Not. A. One. Do you expect me to believe you on your word alone?"

"It's not my fault that we have a lovely selection of dumb students here at Hogwarts. If they weren't so easy, I would just be some sexless bloke with a foreign accent."

Erin smiled, but it was a rather absent, automatic expression. He'd just realized that both Eli and Toko, the only two guys he'd ever encountered in that way were - well, both Asian. And Razzy was French. No good old British blokes or Welsh bachgens. Weird.

Erin tried not to think of himself as foreign catnip, and failed. A blink was the only thing that betrayed his thoughts, but he returned to the conversation without a lapse.

"That would be a pity."

Of course, he hadn't had any lucky encounters with girls stupid enough to snog him. The Dark girl were quite bright, if crazy. And Yumi hadn't seemed dim, just drunk, but that obviously hadn't turned out the way Erin planned.

She wasn't worth telling Razzy about, either. It seemed like something Razzy would be interested in, and not for Toko's benefit; with surprising foresight, and for the same reasons he hadn't told anyone else at school, Erin held his tongue.

He raised an eyebrow back, rising to Razzy's challenge. "Yeah, right. As if we Slytherins would let you blemish our precious spuds otherwise. It's only my magnanimous presence keeping all that hostility at bay." A blatant load of shite - not because the Slytherins weren't (probably) possessive of their potatoes, but because Erin had very little influence on what his comrades did. Not that he wouldn't happily slam any protester's heads into the table for objecting to Razzy coming over, or break a few recalcitrant arms. This was a new development, and a slightly strange one for Erin, but since it still had violence in it he didn't object too much to the idea of taking Razzy's side over a Slytherin's.

Razzy made another jibe about his lovely face. Erin took that lovely face and made a truly horrible expression with it, eyebrows raised, cheeks puffed out, and entirely aimed at Razzy. He let out his breath in a huff of exasperation, but didn't speak otherwise.

"Good," Razzy said, and Erin met his eyes levelly. "I lied, anyways," he said, and Erin wanted to ask, about what?

But he didn't say anything.

Razzy came closer, and Erin rocked on his heels but didn't step back. The barest brush as the other boy picked some lint off his shirt, but he didn't touch Erin, not at all. It was even stranger than if he'd actually thrown an arm around him, something at least Erin could shrug off or allow as a moment of weakness. This was a shiver of intention, a ghost of a touch. Not something worth getting upset over, but incredibly difficult to dismiss. To forget. Erin made himself not look down.

"Razzy," he said, but the warning tone he'd intended came out more like surprise. His eyes widened; his muscles tensed, ready for flight. It wasn't anything, it was nothing, but he still... Erin didn't like it, the seriousness to Razzy's words.

"Razzy," he said again, carefully, as though he had to think very hard about each word before he spoke. "I can't tell if you're joking or not, but if you are I want you to stop. All right?" He shifted, uncomfortable, but he wasn't done. There were things he was supposed to say, things he could probably have managed with a girl because he'd done it a couple of times, but Razzy was a guy and a friend and Erin was... not sure how this was supposed to go. Friends mattered - he didn't have many of them - so friends counted. He had to not mess this up. "If you're not kidding, I guess... " A quick moment of bravery; Erin raised his chin arrogantly, meeting Razzy's eyes. But a moment later and the bravery was gone, replayed with the quick nervous slide of blue eyes back to the wall behind Razzy's head. "Then I don't know what you want from me."

This was weird. He didn't like it, didn't like saying such things. But their kiss was replaying behind his eyes like a photograph, Razzy moving in, Erin moving out, playing merry hell on his thoughts and tripping him up. It'd only been a moment. Erin had pushed him away. It'd been New Years, and the only fireworks had been outside the window. But taken into account with Razzy's constant flirting, and with this...

If Razzy was just taking the piss, Erin was going to deck him a good one for making him talk about this feeling shite. If he wasn't... well. Erin hadn't gotten that far yet.

"I didn't see any ladies throwing themselves at you,"

Razzy couldn't suppress a smile with that one. He let out a small laugh and shrugged. "They're just being subtle... While you weren't looking, a dozen girls showed me their knickers," he tilted his head to side, trying to seem as innocent as possible, "Actually, it was more like a baker's dozen. You know how girls are... Can't keep their skirts down when they see someone that resembles an American." Razzy couldn't recall ever meeting an American... But he remembered in France a lot of people were iffy with them. Razzy couldn't hate a whole country for having different mannerisms than his. That was just pathetic. Razzy guessed he could just consider his mother pathetic then.

"It's exotic," Razzy added, his eyes darting to side and a smirk forming on his face. He truly had no clue what he was talking about. But it sounded silly, so Razzy was pleased with himself. "When have I ever lied to you, Erin?" Razzy asked, so casual and cool, before something twisted in his stomach. He was an awful person sometimes. He could hardly live with himself.

"That would be a pity."

The boy cocked his head to the side once more, studying Erin's expression. "I'll just assume you don't know how it feels to be sexless," he poked at him, a taunting compliment, "With all those girls all over you at all times..." Of course, Razzy believed fornication with a woman wasn't as exciting as a man. Perhaps it was because Razzy's first sexual experience was with a man... He would always remember that face. Not his name, of course... He wasn't that decent of a person... But the man had such a handsome face. Razzy got lucky with that one, even though he was shaken by the experience when it first happened.

He could still remember the confusion he felt. He had only been playing with the idea of his bisexuality back then. The term so different and frightening. Razzy nearly felt bad for forcing his lips onto Erin's... What if he was perplexed by the same thoughts? That same question? It was a rather disturbing time, but the cross over was so welcoming... Or, perhaps, Erin was still strictly straight and just teasing Razzy with his friendship. If that was true, Razzy wouldn't know how to feel. He wouldn't be sure if he still wanted to continue a bond with Erin, only as friends and not... Something more... Or if he would want to drop Erin then and there.

It was a painful thought. But what if he had to make the choice...? Did Erin know what he put Razzy through?

The sociopath felt as if he met his match. Someone who made him feel but always stayed out of reach. Razzy thought he was excellent at reading faces... But he couldn't trust his senses anymore. No matter what he saw on Erin's expression, he only saw what he feared. Razzy felt as if he was just lying to himself. Making himself sick, subconsciously.

What if he was a hypochondriac? Add that to his list of, "Things that are wrong with me."

Sometimes Razzy felt he only worried about illnesses and disorders just because those doctors began testing on him. Anti-Social Disorder. He could have lived like a normal person. He blamed his parents for ruining his chances of a fearless life.

"It's only my magnanimous presence keeping all that hostility at bay."

Razzy's brows furrowed and a small smirk curved his lips, "Oh? I wasn't aware you were the King of Slytherins," he teased. He loved it when Erin acted so full of himself. It was clearly a joke, but it seemed to fit him quite well. That arrogant feel. Cockiness looked good on Erin... He was probably the only person Razzy could honestly say that about. "Keeping your horde of pricks at bay just so I can have the glory of eating Slytherin potatoes..." He paused, his tone mocking Erin's faux arrogance, "I'm honored." He placed a hand to his heart, a sly grin forming on his face. He loved it when they teased each other. It reminded him of their game they never stopped playing. Only it was hardly a game anymore... It was just the preferred way to speak with each other.

Erin made a face towards Razzy when he had complimented it so graciously. His face cracked a sincere smile... Erin was too good to be true. Of course, he had only made the face just because Razzy was always talking about how lovely Erin was. And yet, it only made Razzy love it even more. Erin seemed so innocent sometimes... Though Razzy knew fully well he wasn't. He supposed that was the way he liked it... A charming exterior with a gruff interior. Or, perhaps, he just liked everything about Erin. It was most likely the ladder.

Despite their closeness, Erin didn't look down again. Razzy took this chance to study the boy's face finally... But oddly couldn't read anything. His mind was blank. Their faces were so close... It made Razzy's mind go blank... His dead eyes took to staring into Erin's innocent blues instead. He was wrong. He couldn't figure out Erin. Not matter how intense he stared, no matter how much he willed himself... He couldn't get anything out of Erin's expression. The only thought that clouded Razzy's mind was...

How much he really, really wanted to kiss Erin. However, he knew if he did... At that exact moment... Erin would simply punch him in the face and sulk off. But the urge grew. Their closeness only hungered the boy. Razzy remembered when he was little, his family cook would bake loads of sweets whenever his mother was having a party. Razzy would always attempt to steal a piece of coffee cake, but his hand would always be slapped away by one of the few kitchen workers. Erin was Razzy's coffee cake. But he knew there were ways to steal a taste. Even if it meant being shoved away, just like on New Year's. He could still sneak a taste.

"Razzy, I can't tell if you're joking or not, but if you are I want you to stop. All right?"

An inaudible sigh escaped Razzy's lips, directed towards the floor as he couldn't force himself to look at Erin any longer. Erin always thought he was joking. It was annoying... It made Razzy feel like he would never be able to talk to Erin seriously without being pushed away. The Slytherin must have believed Razzy to just be messing with him all the time. And that his jokes sucked. Razzy was too clever to pull a stunt so low. He only played with the heartstrings of dumb, nameless girls who wouldn't be able to catch on. While Erin wasn't the brightest person, he definitely made a name for himself in Razzy's eyes. He knew Razzy's games, so there was no point in playing them.

"Jesus, Erin..." he whispered, ever so lightly, "Pourquoi me haïssez-vous?"

His gaze turned back to Erin's and he felt the centimeters beginning to come between them. This closeness obviously wasn't welcome. So Razzy wouldn't be milking his stay. Erin didn't need to physically push Razzy away... He already did with his stupid words. Erin stripped away at Razzy's skin, revealing the true fearful coward he was. Sure, this wasn't as bad as asking if Razzy snogged his cousin. But all this talk about joking was getting old. He would simply drop it. They would just catch up on what they missed from each other. Share a few laughs. And then Razzy would leave him be for now. While he was currently worn down, he wasn't about to give up with Erin. He would have to go slow with him. Razzy only hoped he still had that shred of trust with Erin. Else the boy would be a lost cause. He wished he hadn't forced is affection so fast.

"If you're not kidding, I guess... Then I don't know what you want from me."

For a moment, Erin's eyes leveled with Razzy's. Only for a moment. Erin's confident gaze was only met with Razzy's dead, defeated stare. The sickness in Razzy's chest began to creep into his esophagus, constricting his throat to where he couldn't manage to answer Erin. What did he want from him? He supposed he just wanted his constant company... But even then he wasn't so sure. "That makes two of us," he finally answered, his voice soft. Razzy's inching put a good two feet between them now. Still a bit close, but definitely not as intimate. Razzy took a step back this time, a more obvious attempt at distancing himself. However, he planned for Erin to join him this time.

With one of his long arms outstretched, he tugged on Erin's sleeve. He wasn't touching him. But he had a feeling Erin wouldn't be too happy with it. The tug was to pull Erin forward, to have him follow Razzy once more. To get out of the entrance hallway, where students would generally populate and stare. He only pulled enough to bring Erin forward before reluctantly letting his hand drop. He didn't feel the need to tell Erin where they were going. Just a simple, "Let's talk someplace else." The only available place being the classroom they had occupied months before. The one they shared with their egg, where they generally met up to talk.

He looked over his shoulder before opening the door, making sure no one would see them and become suspicious. Two sixteen year old boys going into an empty classroom generally meant trouble. At least, for Razzy it did. There was always trouble when Razzy went somewhere private. There was no one to keep an eye on him. He closed the door behind Erin and took a step back, taking the boy in.

"I'm not joking with you," Razzy told him, leaning against the wall with a bitter expression contaminating his usually blank face, but his tone still rather soft and nonthreatening. "I wouldn't do something like that... Not to you..." his gaze broke away from Erin's face. He began studying the patterns in the wood floor below them, "I'm not a heartless monster... I-" he paused and bit his lip, "At least... Not around you, I'm not..." The fact that Erin would even think that Razzy would be so horrible towards him... Toying with his feelings... "Forget it." Emotions were for the weak. Razzy had to remember he wasn't allowed to have any.

"It's hard to explain, anyways..." he then fell silent. The sickness flushed Razzy's cheeks. Rattled his brains. He knew if he continued to talk about it, he'd have to end up removing himself from the situation. It was torment. Perhaps Erin would never understand why Razzy enjoyed being around him so much. Despite being one of the biggest sluts in school, Razzy had managed to find someone that didn't make him feel so empty.

It was too bad they hardly felt the same. At least, he didn't think so.

Erin let out a bark of laughter. "Can't believe I missed that. I must've - what? - blinked or something."

And, when have I ever lied to you?

There was that arrogant look again, tempered heavily with the skepticism Erin so often displayed around the other boy.

"Never, that I've caught you." He rubbed at the side of his cheek, absently. " 'S kind of embarrassing, really. We Slytherins are s'posed to be able to tell that stuff from a mile away." A grin, to let Razzy know he was still joking. He was, but Erin had no doubt Razzy had lied to him before. Lying was just what people did, to everyone, all of the time. He didn't expect the truth from anyone, which led to a rather paranoid world view that Razzy just loooved to question.

"I'll just assume you don't know how it feels to be sexless. With all those girls all over you at all times..."

He laughed again, more a whuff of breath this time. "Yeah. Definitely." From anyone else, he would have taken it as mocking. From Razzy... not so much. Not anymore. They hadn't ever really talked about sex, but that was what mates did, wasn't it? It seemed as comfortable a subject as any other. That did not mean Erin was telling Razzy he was a virgin, though. That was just bloody embarrassing, especially now that he knew a little of Razzy's track record. Besides, he had plans for that.

Speaking of plans... Erin cast a sly look up at the taller boy, a smirk curling his lips. "Like those Dark girls, yeah?" he teased, shifting on his heels juuust so. If Razzy tried to deck him, he wanted to be able to escape.

King of the Slytherins sounded pretty nice.

"Yes," he drawled, sounding unbelievably bored and therefore incredibly Slytherin. "I am. You should be honored, lowly Hufflepuff peon."

But then things started to turn serious. For the first time that Erin could ever remember, Razzy backed off without being told. "Let's talk someplace else," the other boy said, accompanied by a light touch to his shirtsleeve.

"Yeah, okay," Erin said, and followed the tug.

They went to the empty classroom. It was a familiar place, with the desk Erin usually sat on over there and Razzy's nearby. He locked the door behind them, a way to stall, and also a way to make sure they weren't interrupted. Suspicion was just dawning, and if he didn't find out now he didn't think he could be around Razzy alone again.

"I'm not joking with you. I wouldn't do something like that... Not to you... I'm not a heartless monster... I - At least... Not around you, I'm not...Forget it."

Suspicion had bloomed, and blossomed, and now it twisted and bite like a snake. Erin felt ill. For someone who was supposed to be good at reading people, he really sucked at it sometimes.

He stood, awkwardly, by one of the desks. Took in the bitterness and the red of Razzy's face and felt like a complete and utter prick. It was not a familiar feeling.

"Razzy, I don't - I haven't ever - " The situation was so uncomfortable that he could barely speak. Erin wasn't used to this, he hated it. He didn't talk about feelings. He ran, forgot them, or punched somebody until they went away. And now he couldn't because he liked Razzy enough not to, and it both infuriated and terrified him so his tongue turned to lead in his mouth and he shifted from foot to foot, anxious, unhappy. A dull, unflattering flush rose in his burning cheeks. He avoided Razzy's gaze.

This was why he didn't have friends. This was why he was a horrible brother to Hannah and why Beatrix hadn't chosen him. He was total shite at this and he knew it, even as he made another trip-tongued attempt.

"I don't... like blokes."

Well, that felt weirdly like a betrayal. It would still be easier to push Razzy away at this point, rather than tell him anything. Merlin knows it would be. Erin was good at manipulation stuff, base cruelty, crude viciousness. But he didn't want to, not with Razzy, and that was the whole damned problem. Even worse, he kept feeling the bizarre but incredibly shameful urge to apologize. He wanted Razzy to understand without having to be told, to not leave him because Erin was stupid and hadn't realized the other boy was serious. Razzy would get over it easily, as long as Erin could just explain it right.

"I like you, okay? You're easy to be around. Never boring, really... brilliant. But, you know." He shrugged, hands twitching in his pockets, clenching and unclenching helplessly, invisible. Nothing to be done for it. "I don't..." The words trailed off, leaving to silence what he didn't know how to say, and trailing the hopeless, frustrated, angry wail, can't things just stay as they are?

"Can't believe I missed that. I must've - what? - blinked or something."

He nodded, casually. "It was when you stooped down to tie your shoe," Razzy informed him, "You probably don't remember. Too busy thinking about how stylish I look today." Their joking felt rather nice. Razzy smiled down at the boy, his cheek muscles hurting from how wide his lips had spread. It was times like those where the two boys could simply go on for hours, making up crap just to degrade and make the other smile. They were getting pretty good at tickling each other's funny bones. Not that it was hard for them before... However, Razzy recalled a time where his jokes caused Erin to punch a desk.

He was so cute.

"I thought Slytherins were just supposed to be manipulative assholes," Razzy raised an eyebrow at his friend. He was being perfectly honest. While a part of him wish he never mentioned the idea of lying to Erin, he swallowed the sickness that was welling on his tongue. Of course, not literal sickness. If Razzy was about to vomit, he wouldn't be swallowing it. He would calmly excuse himself and run to the nearest girl's cleavage to disperse of the regurgitation. The reasons for this would remain a secret in Razzy's strange thoughts.

Even if Erin would have told Razzy he still had his v-card, the Hufflepuff wouldn't have been entirely surprised. While Erin was incredibly handsome, he was still young and most likely dabbling in preferences. Erin was most likely still testing out his tastes. What kind of girl did he like? Intelligent, dumb, athletic, adventurous? Erin seemed a bit too high strung to lose it to some nameless girl, as Razzy had done. Perhaps he was waiting for someone to spark his interest enough. Considering Razzy had no clue of Erin's interest in certain girls, he just assumed he was waiting for someone worth it. But what did he know?

The mention of his cousins made Razzy smirk. Obviously, he had no clue of their past with Erin. But the mere mention of them was funny in itself. "To be honest... It wouldn't surprise me if Bellatrix were to try something with you, Erin... Beatrix, however..." he tilted his head, "She's dating that Pennyapple boy, isn't she? Yeah... She likes fruitcakes. Tough luck." Not that Vincent wasn't appealing at all. Just nothing like Erin at all. The total opposite. Vincent was no Ferguson Amherst, but he simply had that feel about him.

Razzy wouldn't mind getting a taste of a Pennyapple. But he currently stood with someone so much more interesting.

"I am. You should be honored, lowly Hufflepuff peon."

Much, much more interesting. Razzy's brow furrowed and a perplexed smile cracked across his lips before he burst into laughter. "I'm sorry, Master Harper. I should remember my place," his head cocked, a chuckle erupting from his toothy smile, "Let me get on my knees and shine your shoes, yes?" Yet he made no move to do as he said. If Razzy was in a more ridiculous mood, he would have truly fallen to Erin's feet and mocked a shoe shine. It was that unpredictable trait he had acquired long ago due to neglect.

Erin stepped forward oh-so easily. An unspoken, mutual agreement to keep quiet until they were in private. The silence only made Razzy's thoughts shutter and expand. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say to his friend. Friend. A term Razzy never used before growing close to Erin. It was a sickening word. Too sweet and close. Razzy couldn't imagine himself being truly responsible enough to actually live up to the moniker. He wasn't anyone's friend. And yet, he used the term solely for the Harper boy. It escaped so lightly from his tongue he hardly noticed he was saying it.

What was happening to Razzy? His strict, confident persona was being broken by some boy he befriended months prior. The usually silent, snarky boy was now being pulled out of his hard shell. He was a crab. Shedding from his hard exterior and emerging with a much softer, breakable crust. It scared him. Because Erin never stopped picking at his exoskeleton, no matter if it was weaker than before. He hardly blamed the boy. He had no clue what Razzy was going through.

And Razzy was too embarrassed to make him understand.

Erin had locked the door behind them and listened, quietly, while Razzy spoke. Typically, it would have excited Razzy if a boy locked the door to a private room. He would have usually expected a load of snogging and touching and feeling... However, this was much more serious. And it pained Razzy. He hated expressing the few emotions he had left. And yet... He wanted Erin to understand. He needed him to understand. If he didn't admit his crush on Erin now, he would never get a chance to do it again. He was be stuck, forever, in neutral with that word stamped onto his forehead. Friend. And Erin would go off with an endless amount of broads while he just stood there.

Feeling empty.

Because that was all Razzy was. When Erin finally cracks through his weathered skin, all he will find is a hollow mess. His thoughts would spill out of his corroded sockets and drown them both. They would drown. And there would be no stopping the endless amount of words Razzy wished to speak. His past, his present, and what he saw in his future. His hatred of his father, his admiration and envy of his siblings, his need to be loved, his yearning for Erin... The nights he stayed up, late, due to his harsh insomnia and all he could think about was the next time he'd get to see the Slytherin boy. They would drown.

But then Erin started... He began to stutter, look embarrassed. Razzy studied him. At first he believed the boy was uncomfortable. Razzy opened his heart to him and finally realized what he had been saying all this time. They were friends, nothing more, and Razzy would have to deal with it. That sickness would forever eat away at his flesh and organs. And all we would do is accept it and let Erin live how he wanted. Razzy was done being selfish. He couldn't force Erin to like him.

However... He took a second look at the boy's face... The flushed skin, the strange look in his eyes. Erin was uncomfortable, yes. But... It was different from what Razzy had seen before. His eyes stopped lying to him. It all became clearer.

"I don't... like blokes."

Razzy almost felt bad for pressing himself onto Erin. Razzy recognized that tone of voice. The awkward tension. The distance he kept from Razzy. It was just like when Razzy first spoke to that man at his mother's party. How unnaturally timid Razzy was towards him. Uncharacteristic. The man was older, definitely out of school, and yet he didn't care about how young Razzy was. Razzy told him, with as much confidence as Erin had managed, "Je n'aime pas les hommes." But that didn't stop Razzy from kissing him back.

And then it dawned on Razzy. Erin had kissed back. It was a mere moment, but he remembered so clearly. That was what made it so nice. If Erin hadn't kissed back, Razzy would have never pursued him. He knew when people didn't want to be kissed. And Razzy didn't get enjoyment out of those people.

The sickness began to subside.

Erin complimented Razzy. While it was rather sweet, it went right over his head. He was too busy thinking about how foolish he had been. Erin was denying himself just as badly as Razzy had. And yet, there was saying he liked Razzy. But not in that way. Ridiculous. Razzy knew the process was long and confusing, but Erin was just too funny. Razzy felt the embarrassment dwindle away from his slender body. Suddenly, his exposed shell was beginning to harden once more.

"You're so full of shit," Razzy told him, his bitter expression turning into a smile. His cheeks lost their extra red flush. He knew it sounded harsh, but it was true. Erin was feeding him bullshit.

He pushed himself off the wall, hands stuffing themselves in his jacket pockets. "If you didn't like 'blokes', why did you kiss me back?" The word "bloke" sounded so strange coming out of the Frenchman's mouth. English speak. Whatever Erin answered would simply amuse Razzy. He trotted over to his desk, settling himself on top of it. He stared at Erin, dead eyes boring into his.

"Telling me I'm just a friend is one thing, Erin, but don't insult me. I know what I felt that night, and that was your lips pressing themselves against mine," and it was very, very enjoyable. He shook his head and chuckled, "Jesus, Erin."

Erin felt really awful. He didn't know what to say to fix things, but the idea that this confession of Razzy's could ruin everything was a gnarly terrible thought. Why Razzy would of all people fall for him was completely beyond Erin's comprehension, but -

"You're so full of shit."

Erin glanced up in shock, saw Razzy smiling at him in that patronizing way. The murky waters of shame were tainted by an undertow of indignation, currents running deep and fast until they finally broke the surface. This time the flush that rose was less from embarrassment, and more from anger. Or, perhaps, a mixture of both.

"What," he said, and his tone was flat but rising. "You can't - what the hell do you know!" He fumed, straightening from his penitent slouch. His fists still wanted to clench, but he wasn't allowed to use them on Razzy, so he folded them moodily across his chest instead. His voice, when he spoke, was more of a hiss. "What a thing to say. You're pissing me off, Razzy."

Razzy pushed himself off the wall, still smiling. Damn him. And then - ahhhh - he brought up the kiss. Well that was really quite unfair. Erin had been hoping he wouldn't do that.

He froze, stiffened, glared. "I don't know," he shot back at Razzy, and the line of his shoulders was tense and confrontational. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea." This was like Eli all over again, only worse because he knew Razzy and he knew Erin much better. He could probably read him right now. It pissed Erin off even more to think about. The anger simmered in his veins, vastly preferable to his previous emotions, easier, more familiar to him. But he was still feeling it, that shame, as well as the sense of betrayal, and so his annoyance didn't ring quite true. He wanted to retreat to that easy choice of lashing out instead of giving in, fight or flight but never surrender. He would fight, except he didn't really know where to direct his distemper except at Razzy, and he was trying but he'd come too far so now even that choice wasn't entirely safe. Wasn't he supposed to be feeling remorseful about something? Wasn't this his fault?

Liar, liar, said the look in Razzy's eyes. It made Erin squirm, though it'd never bothered him before.

"You can't - what the hell do you know!"

Suddenly, Erin wasn't so timid and awkward. Razzy had set him off. He watched, rather pleased at the site of an upset Erin, as he stammered and glowered. It was cute. Razzy continued to smile. The boy acted as if his fury truly mattered at that moment. His arms crossed against his chest, a disturbing hiss directed towards Razzy. He could almost care less if Erin was angry. Why? Because it just proved that Razzy was right. He could read it loud and clear now. Erin seemed less in control of the situation now. The tables had turned and it was now Razzy who was talking shit.

"I know exactly how you feel right now," Razzy told him, rolling his eyes. He knew a lot more than Erin could imagine. Erin's body language was ringing much more clear for Razzy. It was as if he was reading a book... He figured out the mystery, the surprise, the puzzle that had taken so long to finish. And he was simply waiting for it to unfold. To show him he was right. Every word and every expression just screamed at him. He was right. He was right. He knew Erin far too well for the boy to put up a fight, yet Erin was too stubborn to give up. It was simply a waiting game now.

He pushed his bangs back and chuckled, "Sometimes... You make me feel really stupid, Erin. Really stupid. I thought you pushed me away just because you could. That you hated me." He stopped and felt around his pockets, looking for his pack of cigarettes. "I should have been able to tell from the start... You don't like 'blokes'," it was the sentence that triggered it all. Finally, he pulled out a small box and took out one, thin, white cigarette. The pack found its way back into his left pocket, his wand pulled out seconds afterward. He needed to calm himself down. He was getting too excited over figuring out his companion.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I just feel rather slow, you know? I went through the exact same thing you are, and yet I didn't notice until now."

He gently placed the cigarette between his lips and lit it with his wand. Erin responded to his question with a very humorous I don't know. He shoved the wand away and blew a light puff of smoke towards Erin. Magic made everything better. If it weren't for magic, his nicotine addiction would be long gone by now. He would never get a chance to smoke without a Professor or a prefect getting on his ass. He raised an eyebrow. Of course Erin didn't know. He was confused. Razzy's blank face was the only response to that. He was unimpressed with that answer. But he knew there was no fighting it.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea."

That, however, made Razzy smile. "You didn't give me the wrong idea, amour de ma vie," he told him, the desk creaking under his weight as he pushed back into it. "What you're doing now, however, is lying to me. And I don't appreciate that," a joking tone, but he was serious. It was interesting, watching Erin defend himself. It was just like when they first began talking. Erin sticking up for himself while Razzy attempted to tear him down. He didn't want to hurt the boy. Back then it was all a game. Now, he was just messing with him. If it came a point where Razzy would break Erin, he'd feel bad.

But there was no breaking Erin. Perhaps that's why Razzy loved toying with him so much.

He straightened up again, circling over to Erin. Razzy stood a foot from him, emotionless expression. He let out another stream of smoke, letting it curl up and around his lips. "I don't know if you like me, Erin, or just the thought of me... But I like you," it was so much more than that, though, "And I know what I felt that night. And I know you felt it to." He stepped closer, his charming smile forming to simply mock the situation. Razzy was selfish. He couldn't stop being selfish. He was a monster at heart, no matter how much he fought it. But a part of him knew that Erin was simply putting up a show.

He wasn't being selfish. He was just expressing what Erin couldn't. If Erin didn't like Razzy, then he would have to take a step back and think of where he went wrong. Razzy had been working towards this boy. Ever since Eli told him about how Erin was a great snogger he had his eyes set on him.

It wasn't a game anymore. The game was long over. It was just Erin and Razzy now. And whether or not Erin wished to intertwine himself into Razzy's life... That was simply his decision. Razzy had never been in an actual relationship before. He had never wanted to be responsible for another human being. He had large issues with commitment and could never pictured himself getting tied down. He saw couples in the hallway and he always said to himself, "That poor boy. He should get out while he still has the chance."

But then he got to know Erin, the pissy Slytherin boy who stood before Razzy.

There was no denying the tension between them now. Erin was fuming, and yet Razzy simply fed off of that anger. He almost wanted to grab Erin. Shake him. Tell him to love him already. But he simply lingered ever so close to him. His cigarette slowly burning out by his side. Erin's upset demeanor simply made Razzy happy. Happy to be right. Happy to finally have sparked emotion out of the boy. He loved to see Erin smile... But there was nothing more human than watching someone burst.

"If you felt nothing for me," he spoke, softly, their closeness intimate just as it was before, "Then I feel nothing for you, too."

"I know exactly how you feel right now."

Erin sneered, unimpressed by Razzy's sarcasm. The urge to say something awful and cutting was really unbearable now. The desire to spit something so vicious Razzy would leave and never look at him again was choking his tongue. But he wasn't supposed to do that. The other was a friend. People were nice to their friends. Erin was only nice...r.

It was why he lost friends so often.

He didn't say anything at all instead, and someone at least should be proud of his control. He managed only to roll his eyes and hiss an exasperated, "Of course I don't hate you," that was stilled a moment later by Razzy's fumbling hands on the cigarettes and his gentle words. Chills rippled up and down his spine, set off by Razzy's nonchalant expression; the bastard was laughing at him! His fingers itched to rip the cigarette from the other boy's mouth. For as long as they'd known each other, which was not very long, it was this damned nonchalance that got to him the most.

"Sorry. I just feel rather slow, you know? I went through the exact same thing you are, and yet I didn't notice until now."

"What exactly," Erin snarled, unable to help himself, "Do you think I am going through?" If Razzy said puberty, friend or not, Erin was going to rearrange his pretty face with his fist. Of course, there weren't really any options Erin would be pleased with. He very carefully did not think of absolutely any of his previous flings, girl boy or androgynous whirlwind, just in case something showed in his eyes.

"You didn't give me the wrong idea, amour de ma vie. What you're doing now, however, is lying to me. And I don't appreciate that."

"Don't you." Shuttered eyes, wary as Razzy sauntered closer. There was the faintest grind of teeth. "I'm not lying." Smoke wafted in Erin's face, but he breathed it in rather than complain. Now would be easier than ever to snatch the cigarette from Razzy's mouth, but Erin was too canny for that. Unoccupied lips meant danger and distraction.

Razzy stepped even closer, smiled that satisfied curl of a smirk. Like a cat with the canary, or about to lap the cream. It drove Erin absolutely insane, that he could be so furious and Razzy was still so unaffected. It was why he'd stopped, eventually, rising to the bait every time Razzy had dangled it, why he'd stopped reacting when Razzy called him sweetheart or love of his life in French. It wasn't worth it usually to face that smugness. But when he did react, he did so with a fury. It was why Erin punched desks, why he pushed away, hard and strong enough to leave purpling bruises... to leave some sort of a mark on that charming devil's face other than amused indifference. Not an easy task. Actually a very frustrating one. Erin had forgotten how very frustrating it was, because he hadn't faced such a task in a long time; now, fuming, he remembered.

"I don't know if you like me, Erin, or just the thought of me... But I like you. And I know what I felt that night. And I know you felt it too."

It was supposed to have been a game, but it was one Erin had lost the rules to long ago.  Given this heat, he wasn't about to remember them now. Instead of anger, try manipulation; instead of insults, try epithets. Instead of memories - try - he lost it in the red-tinted haze.

"Don't try to assume what I feel," he snarled, but he was losing that venom too. He couldn't really deny it, he'd liked... that. Well, all right, actually it was weird as bloody fuck, having someone taller than him and stronger than him press against him with no harm intended. The kissing had been brilliant with Eli, and the dancing great with To - Yumi, because they were both smaller than him, petite, sort of pretty, but Razzy was big and boyish and his large hands against Erin's back were strange. His lips were not so soft and he'd - they'd sort of been against a wall, it was a surprise - and yeah, of course Erin had pushed him away. He didn't want that, they were friends and he didn't want to ruin it, not to mention he thought it was Razzy playing another of his dim little jokes. Made him bloody furious, actually, that Razzy would joke in that way. But until he'd twigged, for just a second... it hadn't been horrible at all.

Not that he necessarily wanted to repeat the performance. Not if it meant proving Razzy right and complicating everything.

"If you felt nothing for me... then I feel nothing for you, too."

Erin's chin tilted up; his eyes narrowed. With less than a foot between them, he gazed back at the other boy with a look that said he would very much like to cut off Razzy's poisonous tongue.

This was the time he was supposed to say he felt nothing. This was the time he couldn't because he wanted to keep Razzy as a friend. He was stuck.

Whether he knew it or not, Erin's thoughts were broadcasting themselves right across his face. Every insulting and taunting lie he wished to tell Razzy, he was already reading right off Erin's expression. It was just that glare. That glare said it all. He was angry enough to where he would never want to see Razzy again. But Razzy knew, deep down, if Erin didn't come sulking back to him, Razzy would have to find a way to bring him back in. He was rather confident in his sweet talking abilities but Erin was the most obdurate boy he had ever met. If Erin wanted to leave Razzy, fine. But he could never change the way he felt about him. Razzy's feelings were locked in place now. If Erin wanted to leave Razzy, he would soon find out it was a much harder feat to pull off than expected.

"Of course I don't hate you,"

The words meant basically nothing to him. Just because Erin didn't hate him didn't mean he wasn't a total asshole towards Razzy. But he held none of it against him. He simply let the words wash off of him, clearing the dirt and rubble that had clouded his thoughts. Razzy smirked, "I know you don't..." he answered him, rather pleasantly, "But with an attitude like yours it's always hard to say." Yet, that attitude was what drove Razzy wild. It was unpredictable... Violent... His gruff personality was what made Erin so likable. If Erin wasn't constantly acting so... "Human" was really the word for it...

Erin was the definition of "Human". He didn't sugarcoat insults or pretend he wasn't completely raunchy and boyish. He had his feelings, tried to hide them away, and became infuriated when confronted. A real man wasn't someone who grew large and intimidating. A real man wasn't someone who hunted and prowled and showed his dominance in order to feel good about themselves. Strip those superfluous assets down, force their raw flesh to show. Force their beating heart to expose itself to harsh, cruel world.

Erin wasn't alpha male. He wasn't the most intelligent student, or the quickest Seeker. He was human. He was normal. He had flaws. He accepted those flaws. He was proud of himself enough to hide those flaws. Erin had dignity. He lacked some efficient morals in life. He wasn't ashamed of lacking those certain morals. He was confused. He was being forced to expose infected skin.

He was human.

... If Erin wasn't always acting so human, he would be just be another asshole Slytherin. That was why Razzy loved him. Not because he was sexually appealing or had proper blood. He was the closest thing Razzy had ever met to a human. Erin was what he was. Take it or leave it. And if Razzy could pick anyone on Earth to tie him down, he would undoubtedly pick the boy that stood before him.

Words that he was afraid to speak to Erin. Words that hid beneath his hardening exoskeleton.

Almost as if he was offended, Erin asked Razzy what he thought the boy was going through. "Confusion," he said, blatantly, "Pure, mindless confusion." It was possibly the only answer he could feed Erin without causing the boy to completely lose his head. If Erin were to break skin on Razzy's face, cause his eye to swell, his nose to bleed, his lip to tear... Razzy wouldn't exactly care. As much as Razzy loved his features, Erin mattered more. If he were to be viciously attacked by Erin, he wouldn't fight back. Erin could kill him for all he cared. The feeling would linger and last forever. He'd die empty, not knowing what Erin felt for him. But he would have died the way he lived... A loveless, manipulative dickhead who cared too much about someone who couldn't care less.

"Like... You feel as if you have so many questions... Enough to fill the minds of the whole world..." He paused, brow furrowing, "But no one knows the answers to them. And no one is there to help you." It was something Erin would have to discover on his own, really. No amount of groping and kissing would ever force Erin to love Razzy. To accept homosexuality in its most delicate form. He would have to figure it all out on his own.

"I'm not lying."

"Fine. You're not lying," Razzy responded, blank eyes staring into his, "Does that make you feel any better?" He felt like he could be such a dick sometimes. But his conscience was dwindling away. He almost felt as if this was helping Erin... His asshole behavior. But Razzy could hardly trust his judgment anymore. It was as if he was listening to a demon and calling its words his own. He was plagiarizing lyrics from the devil.

"Am I really assuming anymore?" he asked, quietly, "Or am I just crazy? For thinking our feelings could possibly be mutual?" Erin's bite was slowly dwindling away. As Razzy stood closer to the boy, his tongue was no longer working efficiently with his thoughts. Erin was being pushed down. Being defeated. It was almost like revenge. The more Erin had pushed Razzy away, the more wary and small the Hufflepuff had become. It was pleasing to see Erin as the small one once more. Razzy was towering over him, his dominance screaming for him to finish the boy. Cut him down. Slit his throat. But Razzy simply grinned, joining Erin's sullen silence.

Erin was the definition of "Human". What did that make Razzy?

His cigarette burned and the two remained quiet. Erin fell dumbly silent after what Razzy had said. He hadn't insulted him. Just infuriated him. Razzy was getting rather good at making Erin grow more and more ridiculously pissed off. Finally, Razzy stamped out the ashes with the side of his thumb. The ember slowly died away, his thumb was only slightly singed from the fire. He turned his gaze back towards Erin. Their eyes bored into each other. An inaudible argument. Who was right and who was wrong?

He was so stubborn and Razzy was so selfish. How did they make it so far? Razzy's green eyes studied his companion's expression. Erin's eyes were narrowed, almost threatening Razzy. The Harper boy currently wanted Razzy to back away. Say he was sorry. Act like they could just be friends. If only he could see that they couldn't just be friends. Razzy needed his touch, his closeness, his breath. It would never be the same. Razzy could still be that image Erin had... That best friend who would always be by his side. But in the end, they'd be so much more.

The silence loomed on and it was killing Razzy oh so softly. Erin was too stubborn to answer. Too confused to know what to say.

But actions spoke so much louder than words.

Without needing to think about what he was possibly doing, Razzy pulled himself closer to Erin. He placed one hand on the back of Erin's neck, rough in the sense that his grip was firm. He pressed his lips against Erin's, locking them tight. The Slytherin's anger vibrating through Razzy's skin. He released the fury back out with a shuttering breath before stealing another kiss. Much longer and softer than before. The other hand found its way to Erin's hip, clasping around the bone.

It was a mere moment of desperation. The silence was too nerve wrecking and hateful. If Erin couldn't admit his fondness of Razzy, he would simply have to force him to.