[Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Tags: Witch Weekly February 14 2009 February 2009 Read 1510 times / 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition on December 14, 2010, 04:54:22 PM Valentine's EditionHallo ladies! Many exciting articles coming your way this week - we hope you enjoy them! And, as always, we value your feedback and contributions!We have a new poll up for the Hogwarts Staff - check it out!Valentine's Day ArticlesTop Looks to Avoid this Valentine's DayDear Witch Weekly - Advice ColumnBeasts of Bureaucracy - Top 10 Hottest Ministry MenTop 11 Most Eligible BachelorsHogwarts's Hottest: MenHogwarts Hottest: LadiesHogwarts Concert & Ball CoverageThe Fallout - New Slither Girls Novel Review Skip to next post Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #1 on December 14, 2010, 04:54:56 PM Top Looks to Avoid this Valentine's DayIf you're like me, you're a big fan of fashion in all its forms - it's ups and downs, its petty complaints, its warts and its scars. But sometimes there's nothing you can do with a fashion mistake but laugh derisively - and there's nothing worse than having people laughing dericively at you!So, girls, with the Hogwarts Ball and all the lovely social occations coming up, here's some tips and horror stories to help you put your gown choice in perpspective!Look 1! The 'Dead Animal' LookLadies, while there are men who would surely appreciate than you can hunt down and kill powerful magical creatures with your bare hands, the ones who will appreciate you wearing its remains on your date are few and far between. Look 2! The 'Cake' LookWe all love cake - I must admit that I love it much more than it loves me (or my thighs). But, ladies - there will be cake at the party. There's no need to wear one. Look 3! The 'Psychedelic' LookThe only upside to these patterns that I can think of is that if someone spills something on your dress and you can't get it off - neither your nor anyone else will be able to tell the difference anyway. Look 4! The 'Night Mistress' LookWe have a much nastier name for this trend in dresses 'round the office. Girls, trust us - our bodies are beautiful. But there are more subtle ways to show them off without making yourself look like a...well... Look 5! The 'Crotch Curtain' LookThis trend is one you have already seen go by on other dresses above these ones. And trust me, it can be done tastefully - but 99% of the time, it's not. Ladies, we all have beautiful legs. But the short skirt with 'stuff hanging off it' look does not make them look sexy. Look ...Well, not a Look But These Couldn't go Unseen!When we asked our delightful readership to send us some suggestions for this article, we got some amazing entires - one of which was too obscene to be shown here (but trust us, it was amazing.) These three dresses have become favorites in the office, though, and we feel you simply must see them! 'The Jellyfish' 'The Curtain''The Peacock' Skip to next post Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #2 on December 14, 2010, 07:57:49 PM Advice ColumnClick to enlarge!Want to write in to Witch Weekly and have your letter featured in our magazine? Send us your concerns by owl! Skip to next post Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #3 on December 14, 2010, 08:05:39 PM Beasts of Bureaucracy:10 Hottest Ministry MenBy, Adorabella Cox My dear readers, it has been so long since I have addressed all of you! To explain my disappearance, as I feel I have a duty to tell you the reason for my unexpected departure, I have been undercover at the ministry for going on ten months. Now, I cannot tell you where I worked and what I was doing there, as that would just lose all the fun of having a pseudonym, but as I leave the Ministry for another investigate assignment, I must say what I learned there was most usually boring, but at times, there were certain subjects that caught my eye. So, given my propensity toward a wandering eye, I decided my assignment would be to inform all of the lovely witches of the world of the sexiest men in bureaucracy. With the deepest confidence, I must tell you, while it was difficult to accumulate the names for this list, it was not because there was a plethora to choose from, believe me! But, I must inform you, as it is approaching that wonderful holiday, Valentine’s Day, I present to you a list of some of the most delectable men the Ministry has to offer us. 1. Ackerly Fox This stunning example of man is one of many aurors on this list. As we all are aware, law enforcement holds a special place in the hearts and minds of all women. The crimson uniform with that golden badge just begs you to feel secure. And in the well-toned arms of this hunk of wizard perfection, I doubt you could ever feel unsafe. If you hold your ear close to the page, I’m almost positive you can actually hear how perfect his ab muscles are. What I know of Mr. Fox (appropriately named, I must add) is that he is a serious man, but has a propensity toward affection. I have seen him with a young girl, suspected that it is probably a daughter, and we all know men with children have a secret soft spot – perhaps one of us might be lucky enough to find it. And I would imagine this hunk will need the comforting arms of some beautiful creature as he is recently divorced and it does not appear there is any sign of a serious (or non-serious) relationship. Keep your eyes and arms open, ladies. 2. Adon EleorNow, ladies, this is truly another example of why the Auror office is just teaming with masculine energy. Mr. Adon Eleor, recently transferred (within the past year or so, I believe) from Israel, not only does he have a certain… foreigner’s charm about him, but there is a deep mystery about his past. He has not betrayed himself to me in any way, instead, he chooses to remain cool and aloof, never betraying the information that might give you a glimpse into his soul. Of course, when looking at his face, you might just catch a glimpse of that soul through the large, dark brown eyes. Of course, that does not mean there are a shortage of rumors about this mysterious man. Indeed, he is an enigma and just like we may never know just why he has those all too intriguing (and sexy) scars on one side of his face, we may just never know what depths the waters of his soul conceal. I have heard rumor that there is a lucky lady in this man’s life, but nothing more than that. I am starting to think that perhaps it is his protective mechanism, as a man this mysterious cannot possibly see the need for a woman trying to break through the hard layers he has constructed for himself. I would not be deterred from trying, however. Tenderness is a cure-all for the hardened man. 3. Alberic Grimm Another mystery. Now, it should come to no surprise that this man of mystery is related to the one above. Of course, working in completely different portions of the ministry, it gives some home to those that are not exactly attracted to the uniform types that there is some hope! Alberic Grimm is a necromancer by trade (romance in the title, I don’t think I would even need to mention such a thing) and integral to day to day functions of the spirit division. Running with a more pureblooded and aristocratic sort, I have been privy to some information that he was seen at lunch with one Liadán O’Moiran, which is quite telling. The young blonde recently experienced a bit of trouble on the farm she inherited from her parents, perhaps it was a consultation about the removal of dangerous poltergeists? Whatever the case, we can be assured that this man has no history of long term engagements with anyone and his schedule, unless you are a ghost, appears to always be too busy. It does not mean, however, the wandering eye cannot be taken with such an intelligent and important figure. 4. Archer Radley We move back to level two, ladies. It just seems it’s so hard to find good men these days that aren’t married to their jobs, and Mr. Radley here is no exception. A former Hufflepuff, he’s clearly got a lot of loyalty and diligence along with the stature of a small giant. This experienced auror is a Puddlemere United fan and not afraid to tell anyone who might be interested in hearing. Now, what information I could gather suggests that Mr. Radley is not as hard and serious as he appears. He has a large family that he appears to be at least partially affectionate with (good to know, ladies) and two equally as impressive brothers whom I will have to detail at a later date! Now, word is about the ministry that this tall, dark, and handsome man was once attached to the Aide to the Minister, Claudia Vespucciano. This affair is said to have gone down in flames, however, and because of this, Mr. Radley threw himself at his work without the solace of a soft, warm pair of arms in its stead. I have been able to discover very little about his romantic life, which might just indicate that this hunky auror is all alone on Valentine’s Day this year. Simply tragic! 5. Azize Mulogo Diplomats are said to have silver tongues, and I would not be surprised with Mr. Mulogo. A romantic and thoughtful man, his stature and build would not suggest that underneath he is such a teddy bear. But, having interacted with the man, I can personally confirm the truth to this rumor! Combined with the fact Mr. Mugolo is just about as exotic as they come, he is also exceptionally intelligent and urbane, making him one of the most interesting men I know. Combined brain and brawn? Have we hit the golden cauldron ladies? And again, this is another Valentine’s Day Sweetheart-less hunk! There’s just been no word on who this strapping young pureblood has been dating, though we did catch a bit of gossip saying the earlier mentioned Liadán O’Moiran was seen on a date with him, and from what we understand he’s got something big planned for the Ministry on Valentine’s Day. So thoughtful of him! I do hope something finds its way to my desk, or I will be sorely disappointed that this sensitive but strong hunk will not be mine. 6. Dante WardThe ministry certainly has its fair share of mysteries! This one just happens to be head of that department, literally. Mr. Ward is one of the most powerful men in the ministry with the most secret job of all. He must be very good at it because I have come into contact with so few pieces of interesting information about him it seems to suggest that he might actually just be a pretty face with no personality whatsoever. That is information I have heard passed around, but we must have hope ladies that this is just another example of a misunderstood man who requires a listening ear and a gentle demeanor to coax him out of his secrecy and world of work into the world of love and romance. Is Mr. Ward seeing anyone? Well, we can tell you we have not seen any wedding ring on his finger, nor have we seen any suspicious activity. There were rumors a bit back about some silly girl who thought she might have had the key to his heart, but apparently, like a souflee, that went flat. Perhaps, ladies, if you try hard enough, you can unravel this mystery.7. Edward Pratt I can confidently report that this is the last of the level two employees, ladies! I must also add, maybe last but not least. Edward Pratt is a charming devil with a smile to match. And this Valentine’s season, this is a man who has been through oh-so much! Whispers of a wife who does not appreciate him and five children under 11 who are all begging to be loved and taken care of by a hard working man., vibrate through the hallowed halls of the ministry. It really is a sad state of affairs considering he is a man who is entrusted with so much responsibility (he recently stepped in for the Head of Aurors, Tamis Raynor, after a surprise attack), but cannot manage his personal life at this time. Perhaps though it is because there is not someone more understanding at home waiting for him? I would think so, ladies. He is compassionate, loyal, and intelligent – all of the qualities an auror should have, along with having a sense of humor, which in that line of work could be the difference between handling the pressure and going absolutely mad. It seems the only thing he is threatened to go mad with though is the lack of love in his life this Valentine’s Day. Send him much love (and perhaps money to feed his amassing quidditch team).8. Griffon Manley One of the rugged members of the white collar class, Mr. Griffon Manley. What an appropriate last name, don’t you think? Manley – just look at that photograph and try to tell yourself you would not desire to be on that beach staring off into the sunset. You would be lying. And while you might be thinking to yourself that he is not as young or virile as some of the other strapping men on this list, you must remind yourself that there is something to be said for experience and having wandered the Himalayas wrangling yetis keeps a man young and physically able (as I am sure you can tell from this stunning photo). Beyond the rugged, not afraid to get dirty exterior is a charming man. He is a gentleman and likes to show all ladies a good, pleasant time. He’s not the type to play a reach around and then never owl you either. Mr. Manley is a true class act and I would give him an O on his Romance-ability OWL. Do not overlook this one, ladies, or you will be forever kicking yourselves all the way to Gringotts.9. Kurby Bagnold A scruffy curmudgeon can also have some of the qualities that are attractive to women, I must say. Mr. Bagnold is actually one of the least friendly men on this list from what I have seen, and the heaviest drinker too! But, looking at his picture, you can almost feel the pure masculinity of this man pouring through the glossy page. Am I right? Of course I am! Though, I would suggest that we only look but don’t touch, you might catch a serious case of the Hogwarts, if you know what I mean. It’s been said that he’s on the promiscuous side. Having been seen with several women in short span of one month, this is not a keeper! Some of the mentionable include Dolly St. James, novelist and notorious tabloid queen, and a dark haired woman I’ve seen in the ministry once or twice as well (trust me ladies, if she is included in the caliber of lady this man goes after, you need not apply). But, most importantly, we can just appreciate the work he does and remind ourselves that a sexy five o’clock shadow and dangerous job are worth the melting gazes we meet with cool rejection. 10. Marcus AnnwylAnd the last of our series, ladies (I know, be still my heart), would be our own Minister of Magic, Marcus Anwyyl. Having survived the turbulent second war and come out all the better for it, this man was also of Level Two before he became the most powerful man in wizarding Britain. Because of his fame though, there has been quite the amount of speculation about this fellow, including a list of torrid affairs that would make even the most unabashed playboy (looking at you, Mr. Finnley Grosvenor) would blush. But, of course, the responsibility of running the entirety of our country doesn’t mean he can’t be a touch romantic. Though he comes from a prominent family, he found his way to a young mediwitch and has recently proposed to her, making it official. Though he is off the market, we can appreciate that this is a true Cindrella story and wish them all the happiness in the world. Keep this in mind girls, and your fairy tale might just be a stone’s throw away!And that concludes this segment! I hope you have all enjoyed, and please, if you find yourself crossing the paths of any of these men and have a tantalizing and titillating story, don’t be afraid to submit it! Until we meet again – xoxoxo. Skip to next post Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #4 on January 09, 2011, 08:36:20 AM Hogwarts Teachers Hottest Men9. Gameskeeper / Muggleborn / 69 / Red Rock AlumniWhat can we say? There’s something feral and primal about the outdoors type – and who says tough, older men can’t be sexy? Appearently Mr. Shepard isn’t his real last name – we couldn’t find out why he has a new one as he seems to be unmarried (ooh. Mysterious!) and with a practical, rustic attitude and skillset, Hogwart’s gamekeeper may not be an object of lust but he’s certainly high on our ‘Interesting to ta;lk to’ list. Rumors around campus indicate he and the school's healer, Tulojow Nadge, get along well - and who knows? With the backgrounds the two over their relationship could develop into something interesting...8. Divination / Muggleborn / 25 / Hufflepuff AlumniGood things come in small packages – and in this case, Mr. Cuthbert is also an expert in astrology (something our own diviners find very interesting). With a sexy accent, an adorable smile and a laid back, casual approach to teaching, who could resist?Those of us who attended Hogwarts during the Potter years may remember Cillian as 'coma boy'; he tragically spent almost a full year in a coma after a potions accident. Thankfully he's now made a full recovery and with a gifted Inner Eye, Madam Snark apparently sought him as Divination professor for some months before he gave in and joined the school's staff.I don't know about the rest of you - but I'd rather look at this all of Divination class than tea leaves. What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?I didn't, I was convinced to finally teach at the school after having been asked a few times. When Analiza Snark pays you a personal visit it's hard to say no.What do you think of the students as a whole?Not a bad bunch of kids really, some of the fifth years are a little mouthy but what do you really expect from a group of fifteen year olds?Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?I have become rather partial to Miss Flickwick and Miss O'Malley, them being fellow seers and all.Single? Married?Very single thanks for asking.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?If I say going home at the end of the night would that put me on your naughty list? Don't get me wrong I do enjoy teaching I'm just not used to teaching people so young, I just don't think they're old enough to really get it.Least Favorite?Seeing the disappointment in the kids faces when they don't get it.What're 3 words that describe you?Small, Shy, InvisibleWhat do you get up to during the summers? I help run a small divination shop in Hogsmeade, been there for eight years, that's where I started teaching actually. Though my workshops were for older witches and wizards, not teenagers.HobbiesDrinkingAnything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular? Nothing really comes to mind, I haven't exactly spent a whole lot of time with the other teachers having come in half way through the school year and all.Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?Well he isn't a teacher any more but Demetri* shouldn't have gotten his arse sacked, he was a good drinking buddy and probably the only one of them I actually spent any time with.*Mister Cuthbert here is referring to the dreamy Demetrius Woolfolk, who was recently replaced by Tapendra Trishna. 7. Caretaker / Pureblood / 28 / Academia Brasileira de Magia AlumniMadam Snark seems to be fond of hiring young, cute men – not that we blame her (we’d do the same in her place, given the chance) and Mr. Encantado is no exception! Another mysterious staff member, he seems awfully well educated for a head janitor – an acclaimed scholar and an extremely clever man back in North America, he recently joined the staff and, from what we hear, he runs the school's cleaning and working staff of elves extremely well. 'tis a pity you don't get to see him around he halls more often, eh ladies?6. Muggle Studies / Halfblood / 37 / Hufflepuff AlumniWorld traveler, halfblood and passionate scholar and researcher, Isaac Frasier spent much of his earlier career travelling the world and studying magic in the muggle cultures of Asia, Africa and other areas. While we're not sure how he managed to stretch that out to years of research - he certainly did a good job of it. According to student letters, he's very well liked among the student body - particularly in the house he heads, Hufflepuff. I bet all you wish he was the head of house when you were in school!5. Librarian / Pureblood / 24 / Slytherin AlumniHead of Slytherin and Hogwart's resident Librarian, Mister Morgan used to work for the Department of Mysteries. Another recent hire, he's widely considered to be strict but very competent; aloof and pragmatic, he gets along very well with his house and seems not to like the others much. What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?I needed a job Hogwarts has a way of drawing its students back again - I suppose I fell prey to that nostalgia as much as anything else.What do you think of the students as a whole?They're a particularly loud lot. Rather overdramatic.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?Certainly. Neely Woolfolk is a particular favorite of mine.Single? Married?Single. (That's not what we've heard)What's your favorite part of being a teacher? The children.Least Favorite?The children.What're 3 words that describe you?Efficient, ambitious, sardonic.What do you get up to during the summers? Hard as it is to believe, staff do have social lives. I spend my free time with a few close friends or developing potion skills.Any hobbies you'd like to share?Same as the above. Anything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular? Well, I'd like to offer my congratulations to Declan Ó Móráin on his new deputy headmaster post...Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?Of course not.The rumor mil is certainly turning regarding him; apparently he and the potions professor, Miss Juliette Vaillancourt, have a very charged relationship - up to an including the two of them limping back to their quarters one night with most of their clothes missing after a midnight meeting. Bruises and lopsided smiles cannot be confirmed. Well, Mister Morgan - maybe you're not so aloof after all! 4. Care of Magical Creatures / Pureblood / 27 / Slytherin AlumniIf you thought our earlier comment about Madam Snark hiring for looks was an exaggeration – just check out the smoldering, living proof! Mr. O’Morain is a young up-and-coming Professor who recently got his promotion to Deputy Headmaster. Normally he’s the Professor of Magical Creatures, and personally he can tame my beast any day.What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach? The position was open, and I had the appropriate skill set.What do you think of the students as a whole?I think that the vast majority of students lack common sense and will flounder when they reach the real world due to over-coddling by parents and some professors.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?It is unprofessional to play favorites with one's students.Single? Married?My love life is hardly the general public's business.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?The few bright minds one comes across. A handful of them, really, out of hundreds of students.Least Favorite?Disrespectful students.What're 3 words that describe you?Intelligent, ambitious, strict.What do you get up to during the summers?I doubt that anyone cares to hear about how I spend my summers. Hogwarts Professors do not have lives outside of Hogwarts as far as most students and adults are concerned.Any hobbies you'd like to share?I hardly consider attempting to create more effective potions a "hobby".Anything positive/negative to say about your fellow professors?It is incredibly unprofessional for Witch Weekly to ask such a question- and I refuse to answer it. Any employed Hogwarts witch or wizard with decorum would feel the same.Those of us who follow Pureblood may remember O’Morain’s explusion from his famous pureblood family; still, it appears he’s doing well for himself despite this hardship. Colleagues suggest he’s something of an ice king; who knows? Perhaps the right lady can melt him down and get him to stop being such a stickler for rules. 3. Astronomy / Halfblood / 32 / Ravenclaw AlumniHogwart's new Astronomy Professor, Trishna replaced the dreamy Demetrius Woolfolk, and is certainly a change from his preprocessor. As the only member of the Hogwarts staff with children - his daughter is currently in her first year - his wife tragically passed away in 2002. With an emphasis on muggle theories and a degree from a muggle university, he's kind of an odd hire, but seems to take his job quite seriously.What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?My daughter and sister are currently students at Hogwarts, so it was a nice change of pace, and a way to stay with my family. What do you think of the students as a whole?There are a few bright, sweet kids in a sea of...well. The student body has changed since I was in school, but the good far outweighs the bad.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?My daughter and sister of course! :)* And any of the kids who actually like my class (you know who you are).Single? Married? Widower. Not looking. Not looking.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?Meeting the kids and helping them learn. Least Favorite?Having to deal with students who're too bull-headed to accept simple fact. What're 3 words that describe you?Neat, well-read, and brown family-oriented.What do you get up to during the summers?I continue my work for the University of Cambridge, and spend as much time with my kids as possible. Any hobbies you'd like to share?Gaming, reading and writing.Anything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular?Overall? I think the teachers here are good at their subjects and are - for the most part - respected in their field of study. With the student body as flippant as it can be, discipline is as important as ever, and most of my colleagues are good at enforcing that. It's also important, however, to hold the respect of your students - and at that, many of us fall short, myself included. Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?Strictness can be done badly, however - such as when you have little care for your students. If you don't like children on some level - even just valuing them for the possibilities they represent - then why would you bother to teach?*We're not sure if this is a typo on his part or intentional. [td]Rumor mill wise, Trishna certainly has an odd choice, given his background; he's been seen with Dolly St. James and is apparently an old family friend of the famous author. However, when you compare the evidence you find that after a meeting with Dolly, his wedding ring seems to not be being worn anymore, and he was her escort to the Valentine's Ball. Very interesting indeed. (Personally, Woolfolk's class sounds more fun to me - imagine getting points for telling the teacher he's hot or giving him snacks!)2. Herbology / Pureblood / 31 / Ravenclaw AlumniHogwart's Herbology professor, head of Ravenclaw, and a man over whom we received a lot of mixed views! Some students seem to view him kindly, but he's not universally liked - mostly he seems to be strict and blunt in his teaching style. Once an apothecary, he may have had a more adventurous life before coming to Hogwarts - while facts are difficult to verify it would seem that Mister Bombay knows what excitement is!Still, his placement on this poll says everything, we think - apparently shaggy beards aren't as 'out' as we thought! This fuzzy 'lil sexbot is also single - somehow. We've reason to think he and Aileen Reid may have a tentative romance budding - but if what we've heard about Reid is right, we hope he gives her a miss - it'd be tragic to see another good man thrown to her wiles. He apparently was friends with Professor Woolfolk - and nail polish is something he's willing to play with, under the right circumstances. This rumor is very difficult to verify, but would be interesting if true (and we wonder of anyone's checked his feet to see if he's still experimenting. The question of 'why comes up with this rumor, and we have our suspicions...that would certainly explain why he's single, of course - but we hope that's not the case!Still, gentlemen - he's walking proof that you don't need to shave to look sexy, and ladies - I think the whiskerburn would be worth it. 1. Defense Against the Dark Arts / Pureblood / 64 / Durmstrang AlumniAnd our winner was quite a surprise - but there's something to be said for older, regal men when you're young, eh? Professor Ignan Storm is the son of Durmstrang's previous headmaster and has lead a shadowy but prolific career. Born in Germany and a prolific world traveller, ex-auror and Durmstrang teacher, Mister Storm's career is certainly one that must be filled with interesting stories. A man of a withdrawn and stern nature, he is naturally impressive to all who meet him. Student reports that his classes are adventures - terrifying, in some cases, but other students can be quoted that his lessons are 'bloody brilliant'. What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?A change of scenery. I was employed at Durmstrang, and the position became vacant at short notice. I was originally considered to be on loan to Hogwarts, but ceased that arrangement when I discovered how inept British magical teenagers were at defending themselves, bar a few exceptions. In the wider reasons, teaching is somewhat a family tradition. What do you think of the students as a whole?The British youth need a bit of stick put about them. Far too complacent in peacetime. They make life interesting, certainly.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?What makes you believe I indulge in favourites? Each student who puts in effort will be commended on their achievements by me, and it doesn't require publication in a magazine. ...However rarely I commend students.Single? Married?Single.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?No two days the same. Keeps the mind active. Least Favorite?Discovering that some students really are more dim than you could ever imagine. Merlin help your employers, I can only assume your families are fine, no doubt as witless as their children.What're 3 words that describe you?Worldly, erudite, reconditeWhat do you get up to during the summers?Distancing myself well away from any students is the main point of it all. Any hobbies you'd like to share?I always complete the Daily Prophet crossword, otherwise I'm far too busy teaching sense into the young magical population of Britain to have such trivial pursuits.Anything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular?Fishing for scandal more like. My colleagues are far more likely to see the centenary Hogwarts reunion for this academic year than I will be, by three decades. Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?:Also, that they're far more likely to see it. Read into this what you will...!We've recieved some...interesting feedback on Mister Storm; aside from his love for Firewhiskey and crosswords, it would appear Storm has a...fan in his class."Professor Ignan Storm's bum is adorable."While we had at first considered this interesting fan could be a student, it would seem unlikely - perhaps it's a certain colleague, as other comments lead us to believe."I would like to stick candy in my beard have Professor Storm and eat it."Hm. Well, mister Storm, you have a lot to consider - both that you may be more popular than you thought, and that some of those admiring stares from students and colleagues may have more behind them than simple admiration...Perhaps you should keep an eye on where the nail polish is winding up, eh? Skip to next post Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #5 on January 11, 2011, 06:13:15 AM Hogwarts Teachers Hottest Ladies8. Xiomara HoochFlying Instructor / Halfblood / 72 / Gryffinfor Alumni / ScorpioAh, Madam Hooch – I think most of us remember flying off on our brooms with her help, or seeing her haul an erring Quidditch player off their broom to give them a good talking to (some of us may remember BEING that Quidditch player...) The oldest of Hogwart’s staff members and for us here at Witch Weekly, our most beloved!Sorry about being sick on you in ‘82, Madam! Hope that washed out. 7. Morrigan RamsayTransfiguration / Halfblood / 39 / Red Rocks Alumni / LibraBorn in the United states, Miss Ramsay has been a Transfiguration teacher for most of her career – starting out as the assistant to her former instructor at Red Rocks, she left after 2 years, apparently over rumors of a relationship. Working in Canada for awhile, she took up our Transfiguration position in 2003 and has been the professor since. A capable and bright lady – the Muggle-borns in our office keep calling her a Milf (?) for some reason – she’s somehow single. C’mon, boys! Older women are like fine wine. 6. Myrni LevartianArithmancy / Muggleborn / 31 / Gryffindor Alumni / LeoThe lovely Levartian teaches the subject that – we must admit – wasn’t our favorite in school (we spent our only year of it looking at cute boys. Sorry) but we can see why the boys might pay attention in THIS class! A Gryffindor Alumni, she once taught at S.W.I.M and is currently the Fiancé of Nathaniel Whitman, brother to Oscar Whitman. (Nice catch, m’lady!) Levartian has penned several books on her subjects and others, including Lost Languages. Congrats on the engagement, girl! Just don’t cheat on him, eh? (And if you do, try your new brother in law – okay we kid, we kid)What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?:Even though I moved to the states to teach for a while and was quite content there, it was nice to come back to where I learned everything about magic. I also came here to be closer to...family.What do you think of the students as a whole?:I love my students. I am fairly lucky in that I get to teach an elective class where the students taking it generally want to be there, instead of being forced to take a class because it may be a core one. This allows me to take some liberties in how I go about teaching the subject matter, which to some, can be rather dry and boring.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?:I try not to favor any students.Single? Married?:No Answer.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?:Opening my students' eyes to learning something new.Least Favorite?:Disciplining students who misbehave, break rules or the like.What're 3 words that describe you?:Humble. Eccentric. Genuine.What do you get up to during the summers?:Camping or anything outdoorsy.Any hobbies you'd like to share?:Camping or anything outdoorsy.5. Tulojow NadgeHealer / Muggleborn / 72 / NWA Alumni / SagittariusDefinitely an upgrade from ‘ol Madam Pomfrey! (Meaning no disrespect to Madam P.) Nadge is an ex-Auror, world-traveler and from student feedback, quite a friendly woman. Originally from the United States, she attended the somewhat controversial Northwest Witches Academy as a girl and joined the Auror force as a world-travelling diplomat to naïve tribes. Rumor has it she and Mister Shepard may have sparked a friendship – but from the feedback we get from students that’s not too surprising, as she seems quite well-liked. Kudos, Madam Nadge – pity about the yeti!What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?:The short story is Knox invited me to take the post as Gamekeeper and, eventually, nurse. The slightly long story is I came here to retire. Or, rather, escape from retirement. I'd been a field Auror cross-trained as a Healer for just over forty-four years. Most of my time was, indeed, spent in the field. I was on assignment in Mombay when I heard word of a yeti giving folks some difficulty at a monastery in Tibet. I went to give a hand and destroyed my knee in the process. And, ended up being forced into retirement. Full retirement was a little too slow-paced for my likings so, once I'd healed, Knox invited me to Hogwarts. What do you think of the students as a whole?:They're wonderfully challenging. They're a much more punchy and rebellious lot than I was expecting. But, that doesn't bother me. Kids are supposed to start testing the boundaries as teenagers - it's the only way they'll learn who they are before they reach adulthood. This is, definitely, a challenging bunch but, if you look past the rebellion, most of them are good kids. Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?:I don't have regular contact with the whole student body like the professors. I only see them when they've got an issue they've convinced themselves won't just go away with negligence. There are a handful of students who come to visit even when they aren'd dying, or their owls aren't dying. I appreciate them all. Single? Married?:For better or worse, the fates have decided that I'm destined to be single. What's your favorite part of being a teacher?:My favorite part is that I don't have to teach. I'm not really an authority figure - not in the same sense. at least. I don't have to worry about conduct and such unless the misconduct leads someone to end up in my cabin. So, I get to be more of an advisor or a confidant to those who need it. I can't really do my job if the kids fear they're going to get in trouble if they are honest so what happens in the hospital hut remains a matter for the hospital hut. Least Favorite?:It's a bit more sedentary than I'm used to. I do, admittedly, get bored and antsy. I do miss being in the field but I am happy here. What're 3 words that describe you?:Depends on who you ask. I'd suppose if I had to pick three: Eccentric, wayward and matronly What do you get up to during the summers?:I've really only had one entirely free summer from 'school' to do with as I please. I usually travel as much as I can. I try to get home to see my brother and nieces and nephews and grand-nieces and nephews if I can. During my time in the field, I gained friends in a variety of places so I also try to get down to Australia and South Africa and over in Tibet if I can. Any hobbies you'd like to share?:Plenty. I used to barrel race and do some smaller rodeo circuits in my youth but I haven't done that in years. I do love to cook and bake. I also play the banjo. Anything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular?More power to them. We've had a lot of changes of staff lately. I admire they're ability to come in and hit the ground running mid race. Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?:I just think some of them need to remember that during teenaged years, kids are supposed to rebel. We all did it, in some way or another. 4. Hildegarde AusterlitzHistory of Magic / Halfblood / 62 / Gryffindor Alumni / Sagittarius Ex-IMC worker, author, and curator, Madam Austerlitz has an impeccable record of academic pursuits and success. Trust us – your kids are in qualified hands here!While reputed to be a “stern old broad” at times, Madam Austerlitz has done much to help our magical community and acted as a consult to the Ministry in the late 90s. She participated in the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998, where she lost her husband Bernard, an Auror, during the fighting. This is reputed to have caused much change in her.Your academics are flawless as your reputation for bravery, Madam. We here salute you! 3. Aileen ReidAncient Runes / Pureblood / 33 / Slytherin Alumni / LibraAh, Aileen Reid – where to begin?Frequent readers may remember Reid as appearing in our pages before – she’s the ex-wife of Witch Weekly favorite and frequenter, Oscar Whitman. And while we could go on about her affair and adventures in Egypt at some length, we think the rumors are much more fun, don’t you?Thought so!While certainly qualified for her position at Hogwarts, Reid’s first disastrous affair seems unlikely to be her last – according to reliable sources she may have two men ‘round her fingers – one of whom is the absolutely adorable Graham Bombay. The other is the private investigator, Jonas Trevelyan – who seems eager to pay Miss Reid very thorough, private attention.Really now, Reid; you’re not going to get better than what you had, but trying to go for a twofer is a little much, don’t you think?2. Analiza SnarkHeadmistress / Pureblood / 35 / Slytherin Alumni / ScorpioControversy certainly gained itself a lovely face, didn’t it?While we’ll stay neutral on her policies and track record at the school so far, Madam Snark is certainly deserving if her high standing on this poll! With lovely green eyes, a sultry Slytherin smile and natural hair we’re very jealous of (seriously, how do you do it? We’d love to know) who could resist her charms or say no to her demands?Currently away visiting other schools on secret business – but how can she call is secret when we all know what year it is?Say it with us: TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT! And yes, WW will be *there*. PS: Bring us back some hot 7th year boys, Snarky-poo? – the Hogwarts girls1. Juliette VailancourtPotions / Pureblood / 26 / Beauxbatons Alumni / SagittariusRawr. Congrats, madam – you certainly blew the rest out of the sky!This young beauty is in fact a WW regular, in an unusual way – she was a perfume maker until recently and is in fact the mind behind some of the finest, most fashionable perfumes available. Ladies, this is genius to thank for ‘French Spring’!Her private life is an exciting one, for sure – a classic femme fatale, in France her most famous partners were at least twice her age and were rich and advantageous. Currently, she seems to have a fling with the lovely and mysterious Landis Morgan – a man who seems like he’d be quite a bit of work to conquer. Well, if anyone can melt their way into him, it’s Juliette – and her young students have plenty to learn from her (also they can learn Potions, I guess). Take our advice, Juliette – in 10 years, write a book. Or write one now – we’ll all buy it. Maybe you and Dolly St. James can team up and write a fiction novel based on your life?Oh dear, now Haven’s run off to write what she called ‘femslash’. This worries us. Skip to next post
[Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition on December 14, 2010, 04:54:22 PM Valentine's EditionHallo ladies! Many exciting articles coming your way this week - we hope you enjoy them! And, as always, we value your feedback and contributions!We have a new poll up for the Hogwarts Staff - check it out!Valentine's Day ArticlesTop Looks to Avoid this Valentine's DayDear Witch Weekly - Advice ColumnBeasts of Bureaucracy - Top 10 Hottest Ministry MenTop 11 Most Eligible BachelorsHogwarts's Hottest: MenHogwarts Hottest: LadiesHogwarts Concert & Ball CoverageThe Fallout - New Slither Girls Novel Review Skip to next post
Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #1 on December 14, 2010, 04:54:56 PM Top Looks to Avoid this Valentine's DayIf you're like me, you're a big fan of fashion in all its forms - it's ups and downs, its petty complaints, its warts and its scars. But sometimes there's nothing you can do with a fashion mistake but laugh derisively - and there's nothing worse than having people laughing dericively at you!So, girls, with the Hogwarts Ball and all the lovely social occations coming up, here's some tips and horror stories to help you put your gown choice in perpspective!Look 1! The 'Dead Animal' LookLadies, while there are men who would surely appreciate than you can hunt down and kill powerful magical creatures with your bare hands, the ones who will appreciate you wearing its remains on your date are few and far between. Look 2! The 'Cake' LookWe all love cake - I must admit that I love it much more than it loves me (or my thighs). But, ladies - there will be cake at the party. There's no need to wear one. Look 3! The 'Psychedelic' LookThe only upside to these patterns that I can think of is that if someone spills something on your dress and you can't get it off - neither your nor anyone else will be able to tell the difference anyway. Look 4! The 'Night Mistress' LookWe have a much nastier name for this trend in dresses 'round the office. Girls, trust us - our bodies are beautiful. But there are more subtle ways to show them off without making yourself look like a...well... Look 5! The 'Crotch Curtain' LookThis trend is one you have already seen go by on other dresses above these ones. And trust me, it can be done tastefully - but 99% of the time, it's not. Ladies, we all have beautiful legs. But the short skirt with 'stuff hanging off it' look does not make them look sexy. Look ...Well, not a Look But These Couldn't go Unseen!When we asked our delightful readership to send us some suggestions for this article, we got some amazing entires - one of which was too obscene to be shown here (but trust us, it was amazing.) These three dresses have become favorites in the office, though, and we feel you simply must see them! 'The Jellyfish' 'The Curtain''The Peacock' Skip to next post
Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #2 on December 14, 2010, 07:57:49 PM Advice ColumnClick to enlarge!Want to write in to Witch Weekly and have your letter featured in our magazine? Send us your concerns by owl! Skip to next post
Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #3 on December 14, 2010, 08:05:39 PM Beasts of Bureaucracy:10 Hottest Ministry MenBy, Adorabella Cox My dear readers, it has been so long since I have addressed all of you! To explain my disappearance, as I feel I have a duty to tell you the reason for my unexpected departure, I have been undercover at the ministry for going on ten months. Now, I cannot tell you where I worked and what I was doing there, as that would just lose all the fun of having a pseudonym, but as I leave the Ministry for another investigate assignment, I must say what I learned there was most usually boring, but at times, there were certain subjects that caught my eye. So, given my propensity toward a wandering eye, I decided my assignment would be to inform all of the lovely witches of the world of the sexiest men in bureaucracy. With the deepest confidence, I must tell you, while it was difficult to accumulate the names for this list, it was not because there was a plethora to choose from, believe me! But, I must inform you, as it is approaching that wonderful holiday, Valentine’s Day, I present to you a list of some of the most delectable men the Ministry has to offer us. 1. Ackerly Fox This stunning example of man is one of many aurors on this list. As we all are aware, law enforcement holds a special place in the hearts and minds of all women. The crimson uniform with that golden badge just begs you to feel secure. And in the well-toned arms of this hunk of wizard perfection, I doubt you could ever feel unsafe. If you hold your ear close to the page, I’m almost positive you can actually hear how perfect his ab muscles are. What I know of Mr. Fox (appropriately named, I must add) is that he is a serious man, but has a propensity toward affection. I have seen him with a young girl, suspected that it is probably a daughter, and we all know men with children have a secret soft spot – perhaps one of us might be lucky enough to find it. And I would imagine this hunk will need the comforting arms of some beautiful creature as he is recently divorced and it does not appear there is any sign of a serious (or non-serious) relationship. Keep your eyes and arms open, ladies. 2. Adon EleorNow, ladies, this is truly another example of why the Auror office is just teaming with masculine energy. Mr. Adon Eleor, recently transferred (within the past year or so, I believe) from Israel, not only does he have a certain… foreigner’s charm about him, but there is a deep mystery about his past. He has not betrayed himself to me in any way, instead, he chooses to remain cool and aloof, never betraying the information that might give you a glimpse into his soul. Of course, when looking at his face, you might just catch a glimpse of that soul through the large, dark brown eyes. Of course, that does not mean there are a shortage of rumors about this mysterious man. Indeed, he is an enigma and just like we may never know just why he has those all too intriguing (and sexy) scars on one side of his face, we may just never know what depths the waters of his soul conceal. I have heard rumor that there is a lucky lady in this man’s life, but nothing more than that. I am starting to think that perhaps it is his protective mechanism, as a man this mysterious cannot possibly see the need for a woman trying to break through the hard layers he has constructed for himself. I would not be deterred from trying, however. Tenderness is a cure-all for the hardened man. 3. Alberic Grimm Another mystery. Now, it should come to no surprise that this man of mystery is related to the one above. Of course, working in completely different portions of the ministry, it gives some home to those that are not exactly attracted to the uniform types that there is some hope! Alberic Grimm is a necromancer by trade (romance in the title, I don’t think I would even need to mention such a thing) and integral to day to day functions of the spirit division. Running with a more pureblooded and aristocratic sort, I have been privy to some information that he was seen at lunch with one Liadán O’Moiran, which is quite telling. The young blonde recently experienced a bit of trouble on the farm she inherited from her parents, perhaps it was a consultation about the removal of dangerous poltergeists? Whatever the case, we can be assured that this man has no history of long term engagements with anyone and his schedule, unless you are a ghost, appears to always be too busy. It does not mean, however, the wandering eye cannot be taken with such an intelligent and important figure. 4. Archer Radley We move back to level two, ladies. It just seems it’s so hard to find good men these days that aren’t married to their jobs, and Mr. Radley here is no exception. A former Hufflepuff, he’s clearly got a lot of loyalty and diligence along with the stature of a small giant. This experienced auror is a Puddlemere United fan and not afraid to tell anyone who might be interested in hearing. Now, what information I could gather suggests that Mr. Radley is not as hard and serious as he appears. He has a large family that he appears to be at least partially affectionate with (good to know, ladies) and two equally as impressive brothers whom I will have to detail at a later date! Now, word is about the ministry that this tall, dark, and handsome man was once attached to the Aide to the Minister, Claudia Vespucciano. This affair is said to have gone down in flames, however, and because of this, Mr. Radley threw himself at his work without the solace of a soft, warm pair of arms in its stead. I have been able to discover very little about his romantic life, which might just indicate that this hunky auror is all alone on Valentine’s Day this year. Simply tragic! 5. Azize Mulogo Diplomats are said to have silver tongues, and I would not be surprised with Mr. Mulogo. A romantic and thoughtful man, his stature and build would not suggest that underneath he is such a teddy bear. But, having interacted with the man, I can personally confirm the truth to this rumor! Combined with the fact Mr. Mugolo is just about as exotic as they come, he is also exceptionally intelligent and urbane, making him one of the most interesting men I know. Combined brain and brawn? Have we hit the golden cauldron ladies? And again, this is another Valentine’s Day Sweetheart-less hunk! There’s just been no word on who this strapping young pureblood has been dating, though we did catch a bit of gossip saying the earlier mentioned Liadán O’Moiran was seen on a date with him, and from what we understand he’s got something big planned for the Ministry on Valentine’s Day. So thoughtful of him! I do hope something finds its way to my desk, or I will be sorely disappointed that this sensitive but strong hunk will not be mine. 6. Dante WardThe ministry certainly has its fair share of mysteries! This one just happens to be head of that department, literally. Mr. Ward is one of the most powerful men in the ministry with the most secret job of all. He must be very good at it because I have come into contact with so few pieces of interesting information about him it seems to suggest that he might actually just be a pretty face with no personality whatsoever. That is information I have heard passed around, but we must have hope ladies that this is just another example of a misunderstood man who requires a listening ear and a gentle demeanor to coax him out of his secrecy and world of work into the world of love and romance. Is Mr. Ward seeing anyone? Well, we can tell you we have not seen any wedding ring on his finger, nor have we seen any suspicious activity. There were rumors a bit back about some silly girl who thought she might have had the key to his heart, but apparently, like a souflee, that went flat. Perhaps, ladies, if you try hard enough, you can unravel this mystery.7. Edward Pratt I can confidently report that this is the last of the level two employees, ladies! I must also add, maybe last but not least. Edward Pratt is a charming devil with a smile to match. And this Valentine’s season, this is a man who has been through oh-so much! Whispers of a wife who does not appreciate him and five children under 11 who are all begging to be loved and taken care of by a hard working man., vibrate through the hallowed halls of the ministry. It really is a sad state of affairs considering he is a man who is entrusted with so much responsibility (he recently stepped in for the Head of Aurors, Tamis Raynor, after a surprise attack), but cannot manage his personal life at this time. Perhaps though it is because there is not someone more understanding at home waiting for him? I would think so, ladies. He is compassionate, loyal, and intelligent – all of the qualities an auror should have, along with having a sense of humor, which in that line of work could be the difference between handling the pressure and going absolutely mad. It seems the only thing he is threatened to go mad with though is the lack of love in his life this Valentine’s Day. Send him much love (and perhaps money to feed his amassing quidditch team).8. Griffon Manley One of the rugged members of the white collar class, Mr. Griffon Manley. What an appropriate last name, don’t you think? Manley – just look at that photograph and try to tell yourself you would not desire to be on that beach staring off into the sunset. You would be lying. And while you might be thinking to yourself that he is not as young or virile as some of the other strapping men on this list, you must remind yourself that there is something to be said for experience and having wandered the Himalayas wrangling yetis keeps a man young and physically able (as I am sure you can tell from this stunning photo). Beyond the rugged, not afraid to get dirty exterior is a charming man. He is a gentleman and likes to show all ladies a good, pleasant time. He’s not the type to play a reach around and then never owl you either. Mr. Manley is a true class act and I would give him an O on his Romance-ability OWL. Do not overlook this one, ladies, or you will be forever kicking yourselves all the way to Gringotts.9. Kurby Bagnold A scruffy curmudgeon can also have some of the qualities that are attractive to women, I must say. Mr. Bagnold is actually one of the least friendly men on this list from what I have seen, and the heaviest drinker too! But, looking at his picture, you can almost feel the pure masculinity of this man pouring through the glossy page. Am I right? Of course I am! Though, I would suggest that we only look but don’t touch, you might catch a serious case of the Hogwarts, if you know what I mean. It’s been said that he’s on the promiscuous side. Having been seen with several women in short span of one month, this is not a keeper! Some of the mentionable include Dolly St. James, novelist and notorious tabloid queen, and a dark haired woman I’ve seen in the ministry once or twice as well (trust me ladies, if she is included in the caliber of lady this man goes after, you need not apply). But, most importantly, we can just appreciate the work he does and remind ourselves that a sexy five o’clock shadow and dangerous job are worth the melting gazes we meet with cool rejection. 10. Marcus AnnwylAnd the last of our series, ladies (I know, be still my heart), would be our own Minister of Magic, Marcus Anwyyl. Having survived the turbulent second war and come out all the better for it, this man was also of Level Two before he became the most powerful man in wizarding Britain. Because of his fame though, there has been quite the amount of speculation about this fellow, including a list of torrid affairs that would make even the most unabashed playboy (looking at you, Mr. Finnley Grosvenor) would blush. But, of course, the responsibility of running the entirety of our country doesn’t mean he can’t be a touch romantic. Though he comes from a prominent family, he found his way to a young mediwitch and has recently proposed to her, making it official. Though he is off the market, we can appreciate that this is a true Cindrella story and wish them all the happiness in the world. Keep this in mind girls, and your fairy tale might just be a stone’s throw away!And that concludes this segment! I hope you have all enjoyed, and please, if you find yourself crossing the paths of any of these men and have a tantalizing and titillating story, don’t be afraid to submit it! Until we meet again – xoxoxo. Skip to next post
Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #4 on January 09, 2011, 08:36:20 AM Hogwarts Teachers Hottest Men9. Gameskeeper / Muggleborn / 69 / Red Rock AlumniWhat can we say? There’s something feral and primal about the outdoors type – and who says tough, older men can’t be sexy? Appearently Mr. Shepard isn’t his real last name – we couldn’t find out why he has a new one as he seems to be unmarried (ooh. Mysterious!) and with a practical, rustic attitude and skillset, Hogwart’s gamekeeper may not be an object of lust but he’s certainly high on our ‘Interesting to ta;lk to’ list. Rumors around campus indicate he and the school's healer, Tulojow Nadge, get along well - and who knows? With the backgrounds the two over their relationship could develop into something interesting...8. Divination / Muggleborn / 25 / Hufflepuff AlumniGood things come in small packages – and in this case, Mr. Cuthbert is also an expert in astrology (something our own diviners find very interesting). With a sexy accent, an adorable smile and a laid back, casual approach to teaching, who could resist?Those of us who attended Hogwarts during the Potter years may remember Cillian as 'coma boy'; he tragically spent almost a full year in a coma after a potions accident. Thankfully he's now made a full recovery and with a gifted Inner Eye, Madam Snark apparently sought him as Divination professor for some months before he gave in and joined the school's staff.I don't know about the rest of you - but I'd rather look at this all of Divination class than tea leaves. What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?I didn't, I was convinced to finally teach at the school after having been asked a few times. When Analiza Snark pays you a personal visit it's hard to say no.What do you think of the students as a whole?Not a bad bunch of kids really, some of the fifth years are a little mouthy but what do you really expect from a group of fifteen year olds?Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?I have become rather partial to Miss Flickwick and Miss O'Malley, them being fellow seers and all.Single? Married?Very single thanks for asking.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?If I say going home at the end of the night would that put me on your naughty list? Don't get me wrong I do enjoy teaching I'm just not used to teaching people so young, I just don't think they're old enough to really get it.Least Favorite?Seeing the disappointment in the kids faces when they don't get it.What're 3 words that describe you?Small, Shy, InvisibleWhat do you get up to during the summers? I help run a small divination shop in Hogsmeade, been there for eight years, that's where I started teaching actually. Though my workshops were for older witches and wizards, not teenagers.HobbiesDrinkingAnything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular? Nothing really comes to mind, I haven't exactly spent a whole lot of time with the other teachers having come in half way through the school year and all.Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?Well he isn't a teacher any more but Demetri* shouldn't have gotten his arse sacked, he was a good drinking buddy and probably the only one of them I actually spent any time with.*Mister Cuthbert here is referring to the dreamy Demetrius Woolfolk, who was recently replaced by Tapendra Trishna. 7. Caretaker / Pureblood / 28 / Academia Brasileira de Magia AlumniMadam Snark seems to be fond of hiring young, cute men – not that we blame her (we’d do the same in her place, given the chance) and Mr. Encantado is no exception! Another mysterious staff member, he seems awfully well educated for a head janitor – an acclaimed scholar and an extremely clever man back in North America, he recently joined the staff and, from what we hear, he runs the school's cleaning and working staff of elves extremely well. 'tis a pity you don't get to see him around he halls more often, eh ladies?6. Muggle Studies / Halfblood / 37 / Hufflepuff AlumniWorld traveler, halfblood and passionate scholar and researcher, Isaac Frasier spent much of his earlier career travelling the world and studying magic in the muggle cultures of Asia, Africa and other areas. While we're not sure how he managed to stretch that out to years of research - he certainly did a good job of it. According to student letters, he's very well liked among the student body - particularly in the house he heads, Hufflepuff. I bet all you wish he was the head of house when you were in school!5. Librarian / Pureblood / 24 / Slytherin AlumniHead of Slytherin and Hogwart's resident Librarian, Mister Morgan used to work for the Department of Mysteries. Another recent hire, he's widely considered to be strict but very competent; aloof and pragmatic, he gets along very well with his house and seems not to like the others much. What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?I needed a job Hogwarts has a way of drawing its students back again - I suppose I fell prey to that nostalgia as much as anything else.What do you think of the students as a whole?They're a particularly loud lot. Rather overdramatic.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?Certainly. Neely Woolfolk is a particular favorite of mine.Single? Married?Single. (That's not what we've heard)What's your favorite part of being a teacher? The children.Least Favorite?The children.What're 3 words that describe you?Efficient, ambitious, sardonic.What do you get up to during the summers? Hard as it is to believe, staff do have social lives. I spend my free time with a few close friends or developing potion skills.Any hobbies you'd like to share?Same as the above. Anything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular? Well, I'd like to offer my congratulations to Declan Ó Móráin on his new deputy headmaster post...Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?Of course not.The rumor mil is certainly turning regarding him; apparently he and the potions professor, Miss Juliette Vaillancourt, have a very charged relationship - up to an including the two of them limping back to their quarters one night with most of their clothes missing after a midnight meeting. Bruises and lopsided smiles cannot be confirmed. Well, Mister Morgan - maybe you're not so aloof after all! 4. Care of Magical Creatures / Pureblood / 27 / Slytherin AlumniIf you thought our earlier comment about Madam Snark hiring for looks was an exaggeration – just check out the smoldering, living proof! Mr. O’Morain is a young up-and-coming Professor who recently got his promotion to Deputy Headmaster. Normally he’s the Professor of Magical Creatures, and personally he can tame my beast any day.What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach? The position was open, and I had the appropriate skill set.What do you think of the students as a whole?I think that the vast majority of students lack common sense and will flounder when they reach the real world due to over-coddling by parents and some professors.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?It is unprofessional to play favorites with one's students.Single? Married?My love life is hardly the general public's business.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?The few bright minds one comes across. A handful of them, really, out of hundreds of students.Least Favorite?Disrespectful students.What're 3 words that describe you?Intelligent, ambitious, strict.What do you get up to during the summers?I doubt that anyone cares to hear about how I spend my summers. Hogwarts Professors do not have lives outside of Hogwarts as far as most students and adults are concerned.Any hobbies you'd like to share?I hardly consider attempting to create more effective potions a "hobby".Anything positive/negative to say about your fellow professors?It is incredibly unprofessional for Witch Weekly to ask such a question- and I refuse to answer it. Any employed Hogwarts witch or wizard with decorum would feel the same.Those of us who follow Pureblood may remember O’Morain’s explusion from his famous pureblood family; still, it appears he’s doing well for himself despite this hardship. Colleagues suggest he’s something of an ice king; who knows? Perhaps the right lady can melt him down and get him to stop being such a stickler for rules. 3. Astronomy / Halfblood / 32 / Ravenclaw AlumniHogwart's new Astronomy Professor, Trishna replaced the dreamy Demetrius Woolfolk, and is certainly a change from his preprocessor. As the only member of the Hogwarts staff with children - his daughter is currently in her first year - his wife tragically passed away in 2002. With an emphasis on muggle theories and a degree from a muggle university, he's kind of an odd hire, but seems to take his job quite seriously.What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?My daughter and sister are currently students at Hogwarts, so it was a nice change of pace, and a way to stay with my family. What do you think of the students as a whole?There are a few bright, sweet kids in a sea of...well. The student body has changed since I was in school, but the good far outweighs the bad.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?My daughter and sister of course! :)* And any of the kids who actually like my class (you know who you are).Single? Married? Widower. Not looking. Not looking.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?Meeting the kids and helping them learn. Least Favorite?Having to deal with students who're too bull-headed to accept simple fact. What're 3 words that describe you?Neat, well-read, and brown family-oriented.What do you get up to during the summers?I continue my work for the University of Cambridge, and spend as much time with my kids as possible. Any hobbies you'd like to share?Gaming, reading and writing.Anything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular?Overall? I think the teachers here are good at their subjects and are - for the most part - respected in their field of study. With the student body as flippant as it can be, discipline is as important as ever, and most of my colleagues are good at enforcing that. It's also important, however, to hold the respect of your students - and at that, many of us fall short, myself included. Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?Strictness can be done badly, however - such as when you have little care for your students. If you don't like children on some level - even just valuing them for the possibilities they represent - then why would you bother to teach?*We're not sure if this is a typo on his part or intentional. [td]Rumor mill wise, Trishna certainly has an odd choice, given his background; he's been seen with Dolly St. James and is apparently an old family friend of the famous author. However, when you compare the evidence you find that after a meeting with Dolly, his wedding ring seems to not be being worn anymore, and he was her escort to the Valentine's Ball. Very interesting indeed. (Personally, Woolfolk's class sounds more fun to me - imagine getting points for telling the teacher he's hot or giving him snacks!)2. Herbology / Pureblood / 31 / Ravenclaw AlumniHogwart's Herbology professor, head of Ravenclaw, and a man over whom we received a lot of mixed views! Some students seem to view him kindly, but he's not universally liked - mostly he seems to be strict and blunt in his teaching style. Once an apothecary, he may have had a more adventurous life before coming to Hogwarts - while facts are difficult to verify it would seem that Mister Bombay knows what excitement is!Still, his placement on this poll says everything, we think - apparently shaggy beards aren't as 'out' as we thought! This fuzzy 'lil sexbot is also single - somehow. We've reason to think he and Aileen Reid may have a tentative romance budding - but if what we've heard about Reid is right, we hope he gives her a miss - it'd be tragic to see another good man thrown to her wiles. He apparently was friends with Professor Woolfolk - and nail polish is something he's willing to play with, under the right circumstances. This rumor is very difficult to verify, but would be interesting if true (and we wonder of anyone's checked his feet to see if he's still experimenting. The question of 'why comes up with this rumor, and we have our suspicions...that would certainly explain why he's single, of course - but we hope that's not the case!Still, gentlemen - he's walking proof that you don't need to shave to look sexy, and ladies - I think the whiskerburn would be worth it. 1. Defense Against the Dark Arts / Pureblood / 64 / Durmstrang AlumniAnd our winner was quite a surprise - but there's something to be said for older, regal men when you're young, eh? Professor Ignan Storm is the son of Durmstrang's previous headmaster and has lead a shadowy but prolific career. Born in Germany and a prolific world traveller, ex-auror and Durmstrang teacher, Mister Storm's career is certainly one that must be filled with interesting stories. A man of a withdrawn and stern nature, he is naturally impressive to all who meet him. Student reports that his classes are adventures - terrifying, in some cases, but other students can be quoted that his lessons are 'bloody brilliant'. What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?A change of scenery. I was employed at Durmstrang, and the position became vacant at short notice. I was originally considered to be on loan to Hogwarts, but ceased that arrangement when I discovered how inept British magical teenagers were at defending themselves, bar a few exceptions. In the wider reasons, teaching is somewhat a family tradition. What do you think of the students as a whole?The British youth need a bit of stick put about them. Far too complacent in peacetime. They make life interesting, certainly.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?What makes you believe I indulge in favourites? Each student who puts in effort will be commended on their achievements by me, and it doesn't require publication in a magazine. ...However rarely I commend students.Single? Married?Single.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?No two days the same. Keeps the mind active. Least Favorite?Discovering that some students really are more dim than you could ever imagine. Merlin help your employers, I can only assume your families are fine, no doubt as witless as their children.What're 3 words that describe you?Worldly, erudite, reconditeWhat do you get up to during the summers?Distancing myself well away from any students is the main point of it all. Any hobbies you'd like to share?I always complete the Daily Prophet crossword, otherwise I'm far too busy teaching sense into the young magical population of Britain to have such trivial pursuits.Anything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular?Fishing for scandal more like. My colleagues are far more likely to see the centenary Hogwarts reunion for this academic year than I will be, by three decades. Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?:Also, that they're far more likely to see it. Read into this what you will...!We've recieved some...interesting feedback on Mister Storm; aside from his love for Firewhiskey and crosswords, it would appear Storm has a...fan in his class."Professor Ignan Storm's bum is adorable."While we had at first considered this interesting fan could be a student, it would seem unlikely - perhaps it's a certain colleague, as other comments lead us to believe."I would like to stick candy in my beard have Professor Storm and eat it."Hm. Well, mister Storm, you have a lot to consider - both that you may be more popular than you thought, and that some of those admiring stares from students and colleagues may have more behind them than simple admiration...Perhaps you should keep an eye on where the nail polish is winding up, eh? Skip to next post
Re: [Witch Weekly] Valentine's Edition Reply #5 on January 11, 2011, 06:13:15 AM Hogwarts Teachers Hottest Ladies8. Xiomara HoochFlying Instructor / Halfblood / 72 / Gryffinfor Alumni / ScorpioAh, Madam Hooch – I think most of us remember flying off on our brooms with her help, or seeing her haul an erring Quidditch player off their broom to give them a good talking to (some of us may remember BEING that Quidditch player...) The oldest of Hogwart’s staff members and for us here at Witch Weekly, our most beloved!Sorry about being sick on you in ‘82, Madam! Hope that washed out. 7. Morrigan RamsayTransfiguration / Halfblood / 39 / Red Rocks Alumni / LibraBorn in the United states, Miss Ramsay has been a Transfiguration teacher for most of her career – starting out as the assistant to her former instructor at Red Rocks, she left after 2 years, apparently over rumors of a relationship. Working in Canada for awhile, she took up our Transfiguration position in 2003 and has been the professor since. A capable and bright lady – the Muggle-borns in our office keep calling her a Milf (?) for some reason – she’s somehow single. C’mon, boys! Older women are like fine wine. 6. Myrni LevartianArithmancy / Muggleborn / 31 / Gryffindor Alumni / LeoThe lovely Levartian teaches the subject that – we must admit – wasn’t our favorite in school (we spent our only year of it looking at cute boys. Sorry) but we can see why the boys might pay attention in THIS class! A Gryffindor Alumni, she once taught at S.W.I.M and is currently the Fiancé of Nathaniel Whitman, brother to Oscar Whitman. (Nice catch, m’lady!) Levartian has penned several books on her subjects and others, including Lost Languages. Congrats on the engagement, girl! Just don’t cheat on him, eh? (And if you do, try your new brother in law – okay we kid, we kid)What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?:Even though I moved to the states to teach for a while and was quite content there, it was nice to come back to where I learned everything about magic. I also came here to be closer to...family.What do you think of the students as a whole?:I love my students. I am fairly lucky in that I get to teach an elective class where the students taking it generally want to be there, instead of being forced to take a class because it may be a core one. This allows me to take some liberties in how I go about teaching the subject matter, which to some, can be rather dry and boring.Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?:I try not to favor any students.Single? Married?:No Answer.What's your favorite part of being a teacher?:Opening my students' eyes to learning something new.Least Favorite?:Disciplining students who misbehave, break rules or the like.What're 3 words that describe you?:Humble. Eccentric. Genuine.What do you get up to during the summers?:Camping or anything outdoorsy.Any hobbies you'd like to share?:Camping or anything outdoorsy.5. Tulojow NadgeHealer / Muggleborn / 72 / NWA Alumni / SagittariusDefinitely an upgrade from ‘ol Madam Pomfrey! (Meaning no disrespect to Madam P.) Nadge is an ex-Auror, world-traveler and from student feedback, quite a friendly woman. Originally from the United States, she attended the somewhat controversial Northwest Witches Academy as a girl and joined the Auror force as a world-travelling diplomat to naïve tribes. Rumor has it she and Mister Shepard may have sparked a friendship – but from the feedback we get from students that’s not too surprising, as she seems quite well-liked. Kudos, Madam Nadge – pity about the yeti!What made you want to come to Hogwarts to teach?:The short story is Knox invited me to take the post as Gamekeeper and, eventually, nurse. The slightly long story is I came here to retire. Or, rather, escape from retirement. I'd been a field Auror cross-trained as a Healer for just over forty-four years. Most of my time was, indeed, spent in the field. I was on assignment in Mombay when I heard word of a yeti giving folks some difficulty at a monastery in Tibet. I went to give a hand and destroyed my knee in the process. And, ended up being forced into retirement. Full retirement was a little too slow-paced for my likings so, once I'd healed, Knox invited me to Hogwarts. What do you think of the students as a whole?:They're wonderfully challenging. They're a much more punchy and rebellious lot than I was expecting. But, that doesn't bother me. Kids are supposed to start testing the boundaries as teenagers - it's the only way they'll learn who they are before they reach adulthood. This is, definitely, a challenging bunch but, if you look past the rebellion, most of them are good kids. Any favorite students you'd like to give a 'shout out' to?:I don't have regular contact with the whole student body like the professors. I only see them when they've got an issue they've convinced themselves won't just go away with negligence. There are a handful of students who come to visit even when they aren'd dying, or their owls aren't dying. I appreciate them all. Single? Married?:For better or worse, the fates have decided that I'm destined to be single. What's your favorite part of being a teacher?:My favorite part is that I don't have to teach. I'm not really an authority figure - not in the same sense. at least. I don't have to worry about conduct and such unless the misconduct leads someone to end up in my cabin. So, I get to be more of an advisor or a confidant to those who need it. I can't really do my job if the kids fear they're going to get in trouble if they are honest so what happens in the hospital hut remains a matter for the hospital hut. Least Favorite?:It's a bit more sedentary than I'm used to. I do, admittedly, get bored and antsy. I do miss being in the field but I am happy here. What're 3 words that describe you?:Depends on who you ask. I'd suppose if I had to pick three: Eccentric, wayward and matronly What do you get up to during the summers?:I've really only had one entirely free summer from 'school' to do with as I please. I usually travel as much as I can. I try to get home to see my brother and nieces and nephews and grand-nieces and nephews if I can. During my time in the field, I gained friends in a variety of places so I also try to get down to Australia and South Africa and over in Tibet if I can. Any hobbies you'd like to share?:Plenty. I used to barrel race and do some smaller rodeo circuits in my youth but I haven't done that in years. I do love to cook and bake. I also play the banjo. Anything positive to say about your fellow teachers, or another teacher in particular?More power to them. We've had a lot of changes of staff lately. I admire they're ability to come in and hit the ground running mid race. Anything negative about the teachers as a whole or one in particular?:I just think some of them need to remember that during teenaged years, kids are supposed to rebel. We all did it, in some way or another. 4. Hildegarde AusterlitzHistory of Magic / Halfblood / 62 / Gryffindor Alumni / Sagittarius Ex-IMC worker, author, and curator, Madam Austerlitz has an impeccable record of academic pursuits and success. Trust us – your kids are in qualified hands here!While reputed to be a “stern old broad” at times, Madam Austerlitz has done much to help our magical community and acted as a consult to the Ministry in the late 90s. She participated in the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998, where she lost her husband Bernard, an Auror, during the fighting. This is reputed to have caused much change in her.Your academics are flawless as your reputation for bravery, Madam. We here salute you! 3. Aileen ReidAncient Runes / Pureblood / 33 / Slytherin Alumni / LibraAh, Aileen Reid – where to begin?Frequent readers may remember Reid as appearing in our pages before – she’s the ex-wife of Witch Weekly favorite and frequenter, Oscar Whitman. And while we could go on about her affair and adventures in Egypt at some length, we think the rumors are much more fun, don’t you?Thought so!While certainly qualified for her position at Hogwarts, Reid’s first disastrous affair seems unlikely to be her last – according to reliable sources she may have two men ‘round her fingers – one of whom is the absolutely adorable Graham Bombay. The other is the private investigator, Jonas Trevelyan – who seems eager to pay Miss Reid very thorough, private attention.Really now, Reid; you’re not going to get better than what you had, but trying to go for a twofer is a little much, don’t you think?2. Analiza SnarkHeadmistress / Pureblood / 35 / Slytherin Alumni / ScorpioControversy certainly gained itself a lovely face, didn’t it?While we’ll stay neutral on her policies and track record at the school so far, Madam Snark is certainly deserving if her high standing on this poll! With lovely green eyes, a sultry Slytherin smile and natural hair we’re very jealous of (seriously, how do you do it? We’d love to know) who could resist her charms or say no to her demands?Currently away visiting other schools on secret business – but how can she call is secret when we all know what year it is?Say it with us: TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT! And yes, WW will be *there*. PS: Bring us back some hot 7th year boys, Snarky-poo? – the Hogwarts girls1. Juliette VailancourtPotions / Pureblood / 26 / Beauxbatons Alumni / SagittariusRawr. Congrats, madam – you certainly blew the rest out of the sky!This young beauty is in fact a WW regular, in an unusual way – she was a perfume maker until recently and is in fact the mind behind some of the finest, most fashionable perfumes available. Ladies, this is genius to thank for ‘French Spring’!Her private life is an exciting one, for sure – a classic femme fatale, in France her most famous partners were at least twice her age and were rich and advantageous. Currently, she seems to have a fling with the lovely and mysterious Landis Morgan – a man who seems like he’d be quite a bit of work to conquer. Well, if anyone can melt their way into him, it’s Juliette – and her young students have plenty to learn from her (also they can learn Potions, I guess). Take our advice, Juliette – in 10 years, write a book. Or write one now – we’ll all buy it. Maybe you and Dolly St. James can team up and write a fiction novel based on your life?Oh dear, now Haven’s run off to write what she called ‘femslash’. This worries us. Skip to next post