Fauna sat in the very spot that Ollie, in werewolf form, had curled up about a week ago. The small, circular windows set high above her let in sunlight, highlighting the page of her sketchbook as she drew a suit of armor. She paused for a moment and looked up towards the ceiling, shielding her eyes against the sudden glare of light. Moonlight was never this harsh, she thought idly. Fauna closed her eyes, distracted from her drawing, and slumped her head against the wall of the alcove.

Emotions ran wildly again and she rubbed at her forehead, trying to fight them back. It was odd what a few days of avoiding Ollie, and Ollie avoiding her, did to her mood. She hated not talking to her, and yet Fauna didn’t know what to say. Her housemates probably thought they were having a fight, since they didn’t sit together at meals or hang out in the common room in the evenings, but that wasn’t exactly it. When their eyes met, they quickly glanced away from each other. And Fauna knew she’d sped up her pace in the corridors when it seemed Ollie would catch up to her.

It was so stupid. Their friendship had lasted this long with very little conflict and, not to mention, the secret they shared about Ollie’s monthly ‘visitor’. Ollie being a werewolf had not fazed her, even after she’d seen the transformation in person. So the idea that one kiss, one little kiss, could suddenly make everything awkward made her feel horrible.

Fauna had hoped that a few days without her best friend around would clear her head. It only made her more confused. The kiss had felt, well, nice. She hadn’t been disgusted, just shocked and flattered. When she went to bed that night she thought she’d wake up and Ollie would be her normal self, joking and laughing and telling her she just wanted to see her reaction. She thought it had been some kind of funny joke, and she was willing to brush it off as that.

Except Monday morning, when she saw Ollie sitting at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall, her friend had waved at her and then completely clammed up. That’s when Fauna realized the kiss might have meant something more to Ollie. The problem was, she still didn’t know what it meant to her. 

Since that day when Ollie’s lips had met Fauna’s things had changed. That kiss had meant something to Ollie and now she was fearful it meant nothing to Fauna. Ollie saw something in her friend; the girl was gorgeous in her own way and was the one person she trusted here at Hogwarts. She felt like kissing her was the right thing to do; it just made sense at that moment. It had been on her mind anyway and Ollie was proud of herself just acting on the feelings but now she thought it was a mistake. So much had changed due to one little kiss.

The past few days had been hard on Ollie, she had wanted to talk to Fauna but either clamed up when she got the chance or couldn’t catch up to Fauna. Ollie was pretty sure Fauna was avoiding her, but then she couldn’t really blame her. Ollie wanted to avoid the conversation that would inevitably happen and break her heart. Ollie was sure she could get over rejection as long as she still had Fauna as her friend. It was nice having someone that knew her secret and wasn’t scared by it and ready to tell everyone.

Ollie’s feet had done the walking while her mind did the thinking about the kiss and the overwhelming emotions she felt. Ollie curled some of her wild hair behind her ear as she turned the corner and was in the doorway of the armor gallery. She saw some feet in the alcove she knew too well now. The feet she knew as well as the knees and the body. “Oh sorry I will go,” Ollie said taking one step back.

Fauna looked back down at her sketch with total disinterest. The armor, with its metallic sheen, encouraged her to work on her shading, but she didn’t care enough at the moment to pay attention to every detail. She’d come here earlier to be alone and to do something that would take her mind off of her problems. However, some part of her must be seeking out her friend if she chose the one place in the castle that Ollie’s werewolf transformation had occurred.

She flipped back through her previous sketches until she found one that felt meaningful. The rest of the pages were filled with mostly technical drawings, where she tried to study the attributes of plants, or metal, or people’s faces. She wasn’t a skilled enough artist to truly express herself through her art, so she stuck with what she could see. The drawing she looked over showed a familiar wolf that was not quite a wolf, rendered with as much detail as her memory would allow. Fauna swallowed a sudden lump in her throat and looked up as the door swung open.

Poking her head out from the alcove, she froze when she saw who stood there. She stared, losing the ability to speak once again, when Ollie backed away with an apology.

Fauna stood up quickly, her sketchbook and pencils falling to the floor with a clatter. She ignored them. “Wait!”

She stepped forward, now visible. Fauna crossed her arms, enveloped in an oversize flannel shirt. She wore a pair of red sneakers and skinny jeans, partly because she liked them, and partly because nothing else was clean.

“Please stay,” she asked quietly, voice bouncing off the walls. Curiously, these were the very words she’d thought about saying a few nights ago, when Ollie had rushed out of her dorm room after their kiss and Fauna had let her. She stepped forward again and accidentally crunched a pencil beneath her shoe. Biting her lip, she pretended to be studying the armor around her for the first time.

“Um, can we talk?” The echo made the slight quaver in her voice more noticeable, and she winced at the sound.

Fauna’s voice was like music to her ears. She wanted her to wait and Ollie could only just stand there and nod her head. How could she deny Fauna when she was actively telling her to stop, telling her to stop like she should have that night? Ollie was going to stay here she was going to listen to what Fauna had to say. She took a few steps towards Fauna with this awkward look on her face.

“Of course we can talk,” she mumbled and felt like the words had only just barely left her lips. She curled some hair behind her ear and smiled weakly. “What do you want to talk about?” Ollie knew exactly what was on Fauna’s mind, the same thing that was on hers. Fauna wanted to get things off her chest just like Ollie did. Ollie wanted to tell Fauna it was okay if she didn’t feel anything and that it was okay that they were just friends. Ollie just hoped that Fauna realized just how much she did like Fauna and the kiss wasn’t just something to try.

Ollie looked behind her as if to make sure the door was fully closed and nobody was there. She pulled the door closed tighter not wanting this conversation to be heard by anyone passing, this was private. Ollie didn’t want everyone know that Ollie liked girls as well as boys.

“Um…” Fauna repeated. Merlin, Ollie wasn’t going to make this easy, was she. At least she stayed to talk, though. Now Fauna just had to figure out how to bring up the pink hippogriff in the room and make it look natural.

She nudged her sketchbook and pencils aside with her foot, knowing she would pick them up later. “So… uh, things have been, well, awkward?” Her head tilted questioningly at her friend, even though there was no question about it. Their behavior couldn’t be called anything but awkward.

“I don’t want it to be that way…” she mumbled, lowering her head. “I’d say that I wish the.. the kiss never happened, just to get us back to normal again, but… I don’t. I don’t regret it at all.”

She paused, took a deep breath. “Do you?” This time, her voice was so quiet there was no echo, but she swore she could hear her heart thudding.

Ollie nervously bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited for Fauna to say something, anything. This waiting game was painful and even in this serious moment there was something active about her waiting, the way she bounced on her feet and her hands played with her sweater.

Finally Fauna spoke something other than Um. It was hard to deal with the large hippogriff in the room when it was so obvious and unnatural. “I would say awkward is an understatement.” Ollie waited took a step towards Fauna as she started to speak but once she got to the end nothing else mattered anymore but the ending of the statement. Fauna didn’t regret it and there was a smile sneaking quickly upon her lips.

“Of course I don’t regret it Fauna.” Ollie said in that excited tone her voice almost always carried. She walked towards her again and nervously stood there looking at her. “I want to do it again.” Her voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke but it still sounded excited. She just wanted to kiss Fauna again and see if still felt right.

Fauna held her breath, waiting, and then let it out in a rush when Ollie stepped towards her and told her she didn’t regret it. A relieved smile spread across her face.

Clearly, there was something more her friend wanted to say, so Fauna kept quiet.

“I want to do it again.”

Her eyes widened and she giggled. She couldn’t help it. She suddenly felt nervous, like her stomach took a trip on a carnival ride. Fauna fidgeted with her hair, brushing it back to tuck behind her ear and even twirling the end of one strand. When she realized what she was doing she let her hand drop and stepped forward to face Ollie.

“So… so you do like me. I mean, like, like,” she clarified, feeling like she had the maturity of a third year again. Fauna cheeks flushed and she gave her an awkward grin, while the carnival ride in her stomach did loop de loops. Now she knew she wasn’t imagining it, that Ollie actually had feelings for her.

Fauna’s eyes strayed to Ollie’s mouth, considering. Maybe she should try it a second time, just to be sure. Would the kiss be any different? Better or worse? The same? For some reason, Devlin’s face popped up in her mind and she thought about the way he'd caressed her cheek, and how his face had only been inches away from hers. She shook her head and focused on the here and now. The random tangent her thoughts took confused her, but this wasn’t the time to wonder about it.

“Okay,” she whispered her agreement and stepped closer. Ollie was only about an inch shorter than her, so their eyes were almost on the same level. A few strands of her hair tickled Fauna’s fingers as she gently stroked her cheek, noticing the smoothness of her skin. These were details she’d never considered before. She paused, smiled shyly at her, and leaned in.

Ollie’s stomach was twisting and turning as Fauna moved a little closer to her. Ollie’s eyes focused on the shape of Fauna’s lips and the scent of Fauna that was wafting towards her with each step. Ollie watched Fauna’s hand move the strand of hair twirling it around her finger. Ollie just wanted to move her own fingers through Fauna’s hair and feel her body closer. Ollie’s mind was running a mile a minute and she was so nervous.

A shake sounded left her as she tried to speak, “I….I do.” Normally Ollie was confident and not afraid to let her mouth run but now she was clamming up. Ollie was nervous about what any of this meant and if this was what Fauna really wanted. Ollie didn’t want to force this upon Fauna but there was this draw to the girl she called her best friend, one she couldn’t deny.

Hearing the word okay sent a shiver through her body and a quivering breath left Ollie’s lips. Her eyes closed as she felt Fauna’s hand on her cheek. Her hand was so soft and warm. Ollie moved her hand up accidently hitting Fauna’s stomach in the process of moving to Fauna’s cheek.

Opening her eyes again she looked into Fauna’s blue eyes, completely drawn in by them. Those eyes she looked at but had never really looked at like this before. Ollie took a deep breath after she realized she had been holding it since Fauna said okay, and that had felt like ages ago.

Like that day in the dorms, just lacking the rat between them, Ollie leaned in. Her lips touched the soft lips of Fauna’s.

Fauna was ready for the kiss this time. She’d invited it, leaned in, and tilted her head slightly to one side to avoiding bumping noses. Even so, the moment their lips touched felt surprising. Pixies did cartwheels and headstands in her stomach, moving slowly as if they were underwater, so the effect was less jarring and more pleasant.

A thrill ran through her. Fauna actually felt somewhat aware of what she was doing, and no longer relied on instinctive reaction. This was fun. Kissing was fun. Why hadn’t she done this earlier?

Fingertips brushed her cheek, soft and delicate, causing Fauna to wonder if Ollie thought of her touch the same way. After a moment she reached up and clasped Ollie’s hand gently with her own. She was in for it. First she’d voluntarily kissed a girl, and now she more than willingly held her hand.

Eventually the kiss came to a natural end and Fauna pulled away slightly, face hovering close to hers. She looked into Ollie’s eyes and couldn’t quite catch her breath. For once, she didn’t feel shy or unsure, but flirty and exciting and mischievous.

She smiled at her. “You’re really good at kissing, you know,” she said frankly, in case Ollie didn’t realize. Fauna swung her arm lightly, still holding her friend’s hand, and gave her a playful tug.

“Come sit with me,” she grinned, finding a cozy spot on the floor and plopping down. She heard an odd sound, like a creaking noise, and looked around the room but didn’t notice anything different. If armor had eyes… she thought, holding back a giggle.

“Me a really good kisser?” Ollie blushed pink as she caught her breath from that kiss. “I…well… thank you, you are too.” Ollie didn’t know what to say to something like that. She did like the idea of kissing Fauna though, something about her that was making her feel the way she was. Ollie could not put her finger on what it was that made her like Fauna this way. She trusted Fauna completely, and it was that she felt the strongest. It was a closeness that she rarely felt with people other than Fil and her mother.

Ollie easily went with Fauna, there was a bounce in her step that had no been there before. Even if this was nothing more than a few kisses it was something. She had acted on her feelings and she had nothing to regret. It was a wonderful feeling. She sat down next to Fauna and rested her head on her shoulder. “You know if this is all it is I am fine with that, it is nice just to let my feelings out you know?” She laughed as she looked up at Fauna and gave her that sweet thoughtful look that only Ollie could give.

Ollie rarely blushed, so the times when she did were nothing short of adorable. Fauna sat against the wall and tried to collect her thoughts. It was difficult to do with Ollie resting her head on her shoulder- a familiar gesture, one she was used to, but at this moment it felt like it had more meaning.

Or not more meaning, but different. Fauna nodded slowly at this realization and looked down at Ollie when she spoke.

“Letting out your feelings, huh?” She repeated, giggling with her. Still, her friend’s words reassured her and quelled a few of the worries gathering in her head. Knowing that Ollie wouldn’t mind if they went back to being friends and nothing more than that was a great relief. Fauna could easily say this was it, and she wanted them to be best friends like they always had been.

It would be safer to tell her that now. Fauna was always the cautious sort. She didn’t much like change or taking chances, even if there was the possibility that she would be happier with a change in the long run.

She made the mistake of glancing at Ollie's face. Her friend looked so… peaceful.

Fauna sighed and finally broke the silence. “I… I don’t know how I feel,” she confessed quietly. “I mean, I thought that a bit of time would make it clearer. Or that, now that I know your feelings, I’d suddenly understand what mine are.”

She bit her lip. Against her better judgment, she’d chosen the riskier and uncertain path, and it scared her. Yet, she felt a little bit of hope, a little relief, at telling the truth.

“So… I don’t know. I don’t want to say this is it, let’s go back to being friends, but I don’t want to lead you on, either.”

Fauna shifted uncomfortably. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Ollie.

“Yeah I am just letting my feelings out in a way I didn’t expect,” Ollie smirked completely shocked by the situation actually. The more Ollie thought about it the more she realized how okay she was with her feelings for Fauna. She was glad she let them out but now it was sort of in Fauna’s court to figure out what was going to happen. Ollie would understand if this was not what Fauna wanted.

Ollie remained silent as Fauna spoke, she appeared very nervous and Ollie felt like she should say she didn’t need too. It was okay that Fauna was confused; Ollie herself was confused but at least figuring it out. Ollie didn’t want to be hurt by Fauna and get her hopes up; she understood that things could work or that they couldn’t.

“Fauna it is cool.” Ollie said as cheerfully as she could muster. “I understand that all this is confusing, come how do you think it was easy for me?” Ollie laughed again and just rested her head on Fauna. “You can take your time and really I would be happy being your friend.” That was one thing that was for sure Ollie could not deal with not being Fauna’s friend. The reason she even started liking Fauna was because they were friends a trusting bond that she didn’t have with anyone else.

Fauna let out a relieved sigh and rested her head on Ollie’s. Her best friend always knew what to say to make her feel better. Sometimes, Fauna did think Ollie had an easier time, simply because she acted so carefree, but that was a silly assumption. Her friend was good at laughing things off and pushing away worries as a defense mechanism, but it didn’t mean she never worried about anything.

“No, it can’t be easy,” she agreed, laughing softly, her breath tickling the hair on Ollie’s head. “Thank you,” Fauna said after a moment, when she was told she could take her time. Fauna would still be careful. It was her nature not to rush into anything, but at least Ollie understood how she felt, all the confusion, and she was okay with it. Her friend seemed to be happy with whatever Fauna did, and that never failed to amaze her. Instead of criticizing her clothes, Ollie dressed up with her. Instead of being annoyed by her shyness, Ollie literally pushed her out the common room door when it was time to socialize. Instead of telling her to stand up for herself, Ollie stepped in…

Fauna frowned. Maybe that last point wasn’t so healthy. Still, they accepted each other for who they were, and Fauna had never had anything like that outside of family.

Around boys, however, she was a nervous wreck. There were all these expectations. She had to flirt, she had to be sexy. It just didn’t feel natural, and she ended up tripping over her own feet or stumbling over her words. Ollie, on the other hand, made her feel attractive just by being herself.

Smiling, she snuggled next to her and lifted her head up slightly. “Hmmm… question. Funny question,” she clarified. “Have you… do you… look at other girls the same way you look at me? ‘Cause I know you like boys too… a lot of boys,” Fauna giggled. “But I didn’t know if it was.. just me or not.”

She felt awkward asking such a personal question, and strangely selfish making the question about her. Fauna wondered about it though. If she liked Ollie, it was just Ollie, and she didn’t think about other girls in a romantic way.