February 4, 2009

The recently published article surrounding the plot to frame St.Mungo’s Mediwitch Moira Randall has shocked everyone to the core. How could someone be so brutal as to try and harm this delicate young flower, and in the process sabotage her relationship with our own Minster for Magic?

The Ministry refused to name the suspect, due to his connections with Hogwarts. I, however, think it only fair that we should all know who we are dealing with. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you  Devlin Matthews of Ravenclaw house. If it wasn't scary enough hearing of the death of a student only a few days ago, we have this to add to the bank of horrible things happening at Hogwarts.

Though the motives for his crime are unclear, his message is as crystal as the ring upon Ms. Randall’s marriage finger - Devlin Matthews is a phoney, a braggart and a conman of the cruellest kind.

The crucial information reached my ready-and-waiting ears only a few days ago, when a friend at the Ministry was looking through the records. It seemed that Devlin Matthews was brought into the Ministry for questioning on December 21st, regarding the Runespoor egg fiasco. He was charged that evening, and upon filling in the legal forms, listed his next of kin as his father: Knox Greyfriar.

That is correct.

We all heard the rumours that our recently-turned yeti friend had an illegitimate child, but now we find out that this child is a criminal?! It is preposterous! Clearly Greyfriar’s time as headmaster of Hogwarts did nothing for his disciplinary regime with his child.

This shocking revelation was confirmed when the Wizengamot Elder (don’t get me started on that travesty) turned up at the Ministry on the Eve of Christmas to pick up his bastard child. A lovely Christmas present for the proud new father.

One might ask how I have come to find out this incriminating information; silly little billy-goats. You all know Aunty Rita never spills her secrets.