Aberdeen Spencer and Luke Adani has spent a lot of the past few days resting, for all the good it had done. They both looked perpetually fatigued. It wasn't because they weren't getting enough sleep; Aberdeen in particular found herself wanting to do little besides sleep, especially now that St. Mungo's was providing her with a Draught for Dreamless Sleep to keep the nightmares at bay. No, sleep wasn't the issue; when you're broken-hearted, somehow everything is exhausting.

But this did not mean that the Adanis had given up hope. Far from it.

After the Robards Assassination, all the drive had gone out of Aberdeen. She had turned in upon herself, become consumed by the blame she put on herself. She had been more than a shadow of her former self than anything, hiding away from the world and refusing help from those who cared about her. But where had that got her? In a room in St. Mungo's, with chunks of her and her husband's memories cut out, with no knowledge of their son's whereabouts, except of course the overwhelming and terrifying likelihood that he was with his biological father. It was time to stop wallowing in guilt and self-doubt, and to move forward.

Adon had already visited, and Aberdeen had surprised herself a little with how glad she had been to see him. All of a sudden, the support from her friends, which she had spurned for two months, was now all that she craved. She and Luke were going to get back to normal, she told herself, and him, over and over. She was going to get better at defending herself against against mental attacks. She was going to stop letting herself be helpless and start getting her life back; starting with her son. She was going to find Robin. But, she was now able to admit to herself, she was going to need help.

The sound of footsteps outside the door roused Aberdeen from her thoughts.

Ahmed hesitated to intrude upon Aberdeen Spencer‘s grief, but at the same time he owed her. He remembered when she had visited him, shortly after his arrival in London. It had not been a good time for Ahmed. Being nearly killed was bad enough, but worse yet it had seemed for a time that MLE suspected he was somehow in collusion with the criminals he was investigating, and that the attack was nothing more than a falling-out among thieves. Naturally that did not put Ahmed in a good mood, and he had been...a difficult patient. To the point of running away from St. Mungo’s...

Aberdeen Spencer was one of Ahmed’s few pleasant memories from that time. Except for Moira Randall, she was one of the few people who had been sympathetic, and he remembered enough of how that felt to guess that Aberdeen herself could use a little sympathy.

Ahmed had no problem being sympathetic. He remembered how...lost she had seemed, when he and Adon came upon her, just after the Robards murder. She had clearly not understood what was happening; she handed over the murder weapon to Adon like a child handing over a toy.

Fortunately everyone in a position to decide seemed to accept that Spencer had been Imperiused, rather than acting deliberately. Nevertheless, her career as an Auror was doubtless finished; and it was heartbreaking to Ahmed, both as a human being and as a law enforcement officer, to see a fellow Auror reduced to such a position.

And now on top of everything else, her child was missing, and no one seemed quite to understand how that had happened. Everyone seemed to know who was behind it of course...the child’s biological father. But no one quite seemed to know where the boy had been taken, or what to do about it...

Ahmed stopped in front of the Adanis' door, wondering after all if he should intrude. “It’s all right to go on in,” a passing Mediwitch told him. “It’s still visiting hours, and Merlin knows those two could use some cheering up.”

Ahmed nodded, and went in. He froze as he caught sight of the young couple, especially surprised to see that by his coloring, Aberdeen’s husband could be either an Indian or a Pakistani. No one had ever mentioned that to him. Though of course the name should have been a give-away...

“Auror Spencer,” he said; and mentally kicked himself. Not only was it the wrong name...talk about rubbing salt in the wounds!

“I brought you a present," he added quickly, offering the peace offering with both hands. A two-pound box of Honeyduke’s best...

Aberdeen, worn out though she was, couldn't help but smile a little at the sight of Colonel Kabir. She liked the Indian Liaison; it was unfortunate that the circumstances in which they usually met were less than pleasant. First the attack on Kabir when he had arrived in London, then the fallout of the Robards assassination... And now this. But the fact that Kabir continued to associate with her even after such adversities made him a valued presence.

She winced just a little at the use of her former title, but it was barely detectable. She grinned-- almost her normal crooked grin, but not quite-- at the gift he presented. 'Oh, you shouldn't have,' she said, standing up and walking over to him to accept the box. 'Not that I'm complaining!' Depositing the box on the table that stood in the middle of the room, she added warmly, 'It's good to see you again, Colonel. And please, do call me Aberdeen.' It was a polite way of saying, Please don't call me 'Auror'.

'Luke,' she said to her husband, who by this point was standing also, 'this is Colonel Kabir Ahmed, the Indian Liaison to the Ministry. Colonel Kabir, this is my husband, Luke Adani.'

'From the same neck of the woods as my family then,' Luke said, offering his hand for Kabir to shake. 'Aberdeen's told me a bit about you, it's nice to finally put a face to the name. I was sorry to hear about how your arrival to the UK went... Not quite the best British welcome. I hope life's been treating you better since then?'

 “Life has been treating me quite well actually,” said Ahmed, smiling as he shook hands with Luke Adani. And it was true; life had been good lately. He was beginning to make a few friends in the Ministry; and to learn his way around Britain, both the wizarding and non-wizarding areas.

“It seems we are from the same neck of the woods,” he told Luke. “Though of course India is almost a continent in itself. Where is your family from? Mine...was from Kashmir. Near the Karakorum Pass.” A shadow crossed his face. Anyone familiar with north India would probably remember that the devastating earthquake five years ago had been centered in that region...

“Aberdeen,” he repeated, both to bring him back to the present and by way of apology for his lapse. “It is good to see you again. Of course I wish the circumstances were more pleasant; but in any case...I am most grateful for your kindness when I was the one who was laid up. It was a hard time for me, and  yours was one of the few friendly faces I encountered.”

“So...I just wanted to say if there is anything whatever that I can do to help...please don't hesitate to  ask.”

A concerned look passed over Luke's face as he observed Kabir's troubled expression at the mention of his home. Putting that and the use of past tense together with a rough knowledge of what had happened five years ago, it wasn't difficult to surmise what had happened. 'I'm sorry,' he said softly. But, guessing that this wasn't something the other man would wish to discuss with someone who was still practically a stranger, he swiftly moved on. 'My mum's from Punjab. And my dad-- he was born here, like me, but his parents are were from Himachal Pradesh.' They were both northern regions, close to Kashmir, as it happened. It was a nice change for Luke to be able to mention his family's geographic origins to someone who actually knew where in India they were. (Aberdeen, for instance, didn't grasp geography particularly well even within the UK.)

Aberdeen had glanced at Luke when Kabir seemed affected by bringing up his home region, but followed her husband's lead, and Kabir's, in letting it pass. Instead she focused on his kind words. 'Oh, I didn't do much,' she reminded him. 'Just poked my head 'round the door to say hello. Glad you considered me a friendly face though, that's what I was going for.' She pulled the corner of her mouth into a small, crooked grin. (It didn't reach her eyes, but then that grin of hers rarely did.) 'I figured you could use one. And, ah, if I'm honest... Luke and I could use one too, now, so, thanks for returning the favour.' And she meant it, too, even if she hadn't the energy to summon a proper, genuine smile. One of the down sides to automatically masking one's emotions was that it could make it take more effort to convey what she was feeling. Her sincerity, however, did shine through a little in her voice at times.

'If you want to help, I'd say a good place to start would be these sweets,' Aberdeen replied to Kabir's question, wry humour slipping back into her tone as she pulled the ribbon on the Honeyduke's box. 'Luke and I will never manage all of these by ourselves.'

'Maybe you can't,' Luke joked, selecting a caramel chocolate. In reality he, like Aberdeen, hadn't had much of an appetite since being admitted to St. Mungo's, but humour was a good defense against the things that made life that much harder to live.

Searching for a strawberry creme, Aberdeen cast a deliberating glance over at Kabir. His offer of help had got her to thinking... There was something she needed help with. But could she really ask it of Kabir? She knew so little of his situation... 'Colonel, may I ask you a personal question? ...How did you end up as Indian Liaison to the Ministry?'

Ahmed nodded his thanks for the condolences. After five years, it was finally becoming easier for him to acknowledge his loss, and to accept that it was permissable to grieve.

"Himachal Pradesh," he repeated. "That is beautiful country." Mountainous like his homeland, but gentler. His area...the Karakorum...was world-famous for its beauty; but those mountains were fierce, the cold unforgiving.  However...with help from the Indian and Pakistani governments...at last the survivors were starting to rebuild.

Smiling at the couple's banter about the chocolates, he examined the inside of the lid. Going by the flavor key, he picked out an orange creme. "Ahh..." he murmured, popping it in his mouth. "Delicious."

When Aberdeen asked how he came to be selected for his position, he sighed.

"That is a good question," he allowed. "I am...well, a blunt man. Not in the least diplomatic...as I am sure you have noticed," he added with a wry grin, thinking of his lapse in calling her Auror Spencer. "I suspect I was sent here to get me out of the way. There was an investigation going on which I think I may have been too close to, for certain people's comfort. But...my commanding officer also said a change of scene would be good for me. He thought I had spent too long at home, after the earthquake. That it did me no good to stay there, tormenting myself. That I needed to see some new places, make some new friends..."

Ahmed shrugged. "He may be right."

Aberdeen, who had shared Kabir's grin at his mention of his diplomacy skills (or lack thereof), found herself glancing at Luke when Kabir mentioned the earthquake; her husband gave her a sombre look in return. Aberdeen didn't have the knowledge of recent goings-on in northern India that Luke did, and she hadn't been privy to Kabir's case file during the brief time she had still been in the Auror Corps once he had joined the British Ministry of Magic. But it didn't take much to realise, from context, what had happened.

'I know that can be difficult,' she replied. Her tone was serious enough to be respectful, but not soft enough to be patronising. 'I don't know about you, but I don't take to change very well. I can adapt, usually... But more often than not, I don't like it.' It was a rather frank confession. Aberdeen was tempted to pepper it with wry humour to defuse the sobriety of the conversation, but in light of the subject matter, she withheld. 'We're glad you came over here, of course, you always struck me as the sort the Ministry could use more of.' Aberdeen tended to go with professional compliments when she wasn't quite sure if she knew someone well enough to make personal ones. Finally finding a strawberry creme in the Honeydukes box (why were the always the more difficult to find?), she bit into it, and found her chocolate very unceremoniously dripping strawberry-flavoured filling down her chin. 'Ack!' she mumbled with her mouth half-full, trying to eat up the rest of the chocolate quickly while still maintaining her dignity.

Partly to distract from Aberdeen, but mostly out of polite curiosity, Luke, who was still nursing his caramel and had retreated to take a seat on his bed, gestured that Kabir could take one of the chairs, and asked, 'So, has the change been a good one, do you think? I mean... Apart from the poison dart incident, obviously.' He pulled a grimace, looking slightly sheepish. 'Or is it still maybe a bit early to tell?'

'We're glad you came over here, of course, you always struck me as the sort the Ministry could use more of.'

"Thank you," said Ahmed. "It's taken awhile, but I feel I am starting to know my way around. Mostly."

He bit his lip to suppress a smile when he saw strawberry fondant dripping down Aberdeen's chin. Of course he was blissfully unaware that he had a dollop of orange creme on his beard.

'So, has the change been a good one, do you think? I mean... Apart from the poison dart incident, obviously...Or is it still maybe a bit early to tell?'

"Overall, I think it is going well. There were times...especially in the beginning...when I felt like a fish out of water. But I have a couple of old friends...role models actually...who have helped me a lot. I worked with both of them when I was a young Auror, just starting out. Vlad Dragulia, for one. And...Tulojow Nagde."

Now it was his turn to look a bit sheepish. "When I ran away from here and hid out for those two weeks, Tulo's is where I went. Of course Raynor said that was no real secret, since I had to be either there or at Vlad's estate in Wiltshire."

He grinned. "When Tulo caught me hiding in the barn, I was sure I was about I was about to get hexed first, and asked questions afterward. But when she saw it was me, she let me off easy. Of course she did make me drink that god-awful potion. She said it was to counteract the venom. But personally, I suspect it was to teach me a lesson for running off and not telling anyone where I was going."

"Be that as it may...since I came back, I have made a few new friends. Among others, Covadonga Gertrudis and Claudia Vespucciani..." He blushed slightly, perhaps betraying his attraction to Claudia.

Chuckling ruefully he added, "Of course there are also a few who don't care for me at all. That werewolf hunter...Kurby Bagnold? He and I almost came to blows, that day of the lockdown. And...well...that young woman at the Welcome Desk doesn't seem to like me either."

Aberdeen listened intently as Kabir recounted some of the people he had come into contact with; she couldn't help but smile a little when he mention Tulojow Nagde-- particularly her reaction to finding him on her property. Yep, that sounded like Nagde; she had to suppress a chuckle.

'Sounds to me like you've fallen in with a decent crowd. I'm honestly not all that surprised that you've had trouble with Bagnold, I think he has a bit of a... reputation for being difficult.' Probably a lot more difficult if you happened to be a werewolf. Aberdeen didn't get the feeling Bagnold empathised at all with lycanthropes, even when the moon wasn't full. It didn't particularly endear him to her. 'Dragulia, though, I've heard good things about him,' she added approvingly. 'And Gertrudis-- back before you arrived, you may've heard about it, there was an incident, a live runespoor in Diagon Alley? Gertrudis was marvelous, thoroughly put us Aurors to shame.' Aberdeen gave a wry smile. 'There's a witch who takes her job damn seriously.' It was one of the things she most admired about her.

'Who's Claudia Vespuncciani?' Luke asked. (Like Aberdeen, he had noticed Kabir blush at mentioning her name.

'Oh, she's the Minister's Aide,' Aberdeen filled in. 'She's lovely,' she added to Kabir, her tone somewhat teasing, but she wasn't forward enough to push the issue farther than that. She turned her thoughts instead to the other mentor Kabir had brought up; 'And I can't believe you know Tulojow Nagde! I'm acquainted with her myself... You know, I think the kind of Auror she was, back in the day, is the kind of Auror I always hoped to be, if I had the guts. Of course, there's no chance of me being any kind of Auror any more, but there you go.' She was being light-hearted about it, but the feeling of regret was there, beneath the surface. Trying to shake that feeling away, she forced a small laugh. 'Maybe I could use a change myself. Once we've got Robin back.'

Ahmed regretted mentioning Claudia, whom he wasn't at all sure reciprocated his attraction.   Though she had gone out with him several times, he hadn't heard from her since New Year's Eve; nor had she returned any of his messages. Maybe she had found him too emotionally damaged...

"I remember reading about the Runespoor episode," he said, relieved to change the subject.  He chuckled. "I can just picture the insanity, when people noticed a giant three-headed snake on the loose, and headed their way. In fact I can more than picture it, because we had a similar incident back in Mumbai. The snake wasn't as large...but there were Muggles involved. Which necessitated a bit of...Obliviating." He sighed, having been one of the Aurors assigned to do the Obliviating. He hated doing that to people.

 "Tulo and I go back a long way," he went on with a smile. "When she was sent to India, to investigate the smuggling of protected species, I was assigned to keep an eye on her. To...erm...keep her out of trouble, if you can imagine that.  She would disappear for weeks at a time without telling me where she was going, except...maybe...an Owl once she got there. And there might be anywhere from the Hindu Kush to the Gobi Desert. One time I had to carry her down from Kanchenjunga after a pain-crazed yeti tried to make a meal of her. "

He gave Deen a rueful grin. "I swear, that woman gave me most of these gray hairs, all by herself. But...I wouldn't have missed it."

"And...she has found something else to do with her life, besides being an Auror. So has Vlad.  I myself didn't think I was suited to do anything else, but...well...it seems the universe had other ideas."

 

Aberdeen couldn’t help but chuckle at Kabir’s account of some of Tulojow Nagde’s earlier exploits. Being assigned someone to keep her out of trouble... Yes, that sounded like Nagde all right! Aberdeen knew that the older Auror hadn’t gone down well with absolutely everyone in Level Two—a certain disregard for the rules would have that affect in an organisation so dependent on those rules being adhered to. But she had always thought well, even fondly, of Nagde, and that Kabir was a friend of the current Head Healer at Hogwarts only served to endear him further to Aberdeen.

Her expression became a bit more pensieve when Kabir mentioned the universe ‘having other plans’. Aberdeen didn’t much buy into the idea of fate, which was what that kind of talk reminded her of. The concept of a universal plan seemed to imply that there was a reason behind everything, and what with all that had happened throughout Aberdeen’s lifetime, she knew she could quite easily drive herself beyond reason trying to figure out why certain things had happened, why everything had turned out as it did. No, Aberdeen was a firm believer in Murphy’s Law above any other cosmic force at work. No matter what you do, things will go wrong. It’s just a matter of how to deal with it when they do.

‘D’you think?’ she mused, still pondering Kabir’s last remark. ‘I mean, about the universe...’ She tailed off, then distractedly brushed a lock of hair back from her face. ‘Sorry, ignore me, I just get caught up in semantics sometimes,’ she explained with an apologetic shrug. ‘It is odd though, isn’t it, finding something else after... I mean, I still find it kind of hard to think of Tulojow Nagde as anything but an Auror, but, well, when I think about it, working at Hogwarts does seem to suit her. And then you, you fit in well at International Cooperation... From what I can tell, anyway.’ She gave him a sly smirk just to keep the tone of the conversation from getting too serious, but her expression started to transition into a deeply heartfelt one as she went on:

‘But, well... Did you ever feel like being an Auror was the only thing you were meant to do? Not, like, being destined to it or anything like that, but... Like it was the thing in the world you were best at, the only thing you could see yourself doing with your life?’ She could feel Luke watching her, and could imagine the look of quiet concern in his gaze. ‘I just, I... Hell. I don’t know what I’ll do now that my career as an Auror—‘ She cut herself off, waving her hand as though to waft the unpleasant thoughts away. ‘I just can’t imagine doing anything else, you know? Murphy knows I was never perfect, but I still have the skills I learned... I want to use them.’ She tilted her head to one side, regarding Kabir. ‘D’you still get to exercise your Auror muscles, Colonel?’

"Not as much as I'd like," he admitted. "Since I came here it seems like I've been stuck behind a desk  more and more of the time. I know in the beginning that was at the orders of St. Mungo's, especially after I...well...went on the lam. They were worried about lasting nerve damage from the venom; and Tulo backed them up."

He smiled ruefully. "As only she can." He laughed as he recalled that night. "She had two live minnows in a glass of water; and she and her friend Shep  implied that I had to swallow them as part of the treatment. Of course they were only joking, but still..." He shuddered.

"Be that as it may, there is no reason I should have to remain officebound now. It is not what I came here for; and it seems that Level Two is not much interested in anyone from outside being involved with the Runespoor investigation. Of course being an Auror myself I can undersand that, but...I do have somewhat of a personal stake in the matter."

He looked at Deen, puzzled. "Why do you ask?"

Aberdeen studied Kabir intently for a moment, then appeared to come to some kind of decision. Sinking down into the chair positioned by Luke's bedside, she gestured to the other chair in the room. 'Take a seat, Colonel?'

She rested a hand against her chin and breathed a long sigh through her nose. As the Indian Liaison had been speaking, she had been assuming a thoughtful expression, taking in what Kabir was saying about being behind a desk, more than perhaps he wanted. She gave Luke a sidelong glance; he in turn furrowed his brow slightly at her, as though he had a vague idea of what she was thinking, but wasn't quite sure. Then Aberdeen turned back to Kabir.

'There's something the Auror Office is investigating that I have a personal stake in, too,' she intoned quietly. 'Well, that much is obvious, I guess,' she added with a sardonic shrug. 'But the thing is... though I do trust them to do everything they can to bring Robin home... I don't... I don't think I can stand on the sidelines for this one.' She turned her gaze back to Luke, who met it with silent understanding. 'I don't know how, yet, but I'm going to try to-- I-- I want to find my son. I know I'm not an Auror anymore, but I still know how to be one, and I can't... I can't just do nothing.' Luke gave a small nod, but the calmness of the gesture was belied by the way he wrung his hands together.

Aberdeen broke her husband's gaze and looked back to Kabir. 'Only I know now that I... I can't do something like that on my own.' It showed in the way she had trouble maintaining eye contact with the Colonel that Aberdeen wasn't used to asking for help. Truth be told, the idea of it had always made her uncomfortable, as though it was admitting to a weakness. But she did need help. And there was something to Kabir that made her feel she could trust him, much as she doubted her own intuition at times. Something that it felt like they shared.

'You're a trained Auror, and... I think you know what it's like to experience... loss.' Her lip twitched a little; the shadow of a wince as she worried she was being tactless. But she pushed on. 'And I know I have no right to ask for your help. I won't hold it against you in the least if you can't. But I...' It was almost too difficult for her to put into words. So she reiterated what she had already said: 'I need to find Robin, and... I need help to do it.'

Taking the offered seat, Ahmed leaned forward, steepling his fingers as Deen spoke. He could see that she was deeply uncomfortable with whatever she was trying to say to him. Luke, too, was obviously ill at ease.

"There's something the Auror Office is investigating that I have a personal stake in, too..." He smiled faintly at her sardonic shrug;  but he knew what she was referring to and understood that it was deeply personal. And of course it would not be any less so, just because she no longer had a badge. 

  'But the thing is... though I do trust them to do everything they can to bring Robin home... I don't... I don't think I can stand on the sidelines for this one.'

Ahmed nodded silently. Of course she couldn't; what parent could?

'I don't know how, yet, but I'm going to try to-- I-- I want to find my son. I know I'm not an Auror anymore, but I still know how to be one, and I can't... I can't just do nothing.'

An ache seized Ahmed's throat as she said this, because the feeling was all too familiar to him. The feeling that had overwhelmed him when he came over the rise and saw his native valley...a gentle land of flocks and  orchards...buried under what was once a mountainside. Numb with shock he had begun digging, trying to reach his people, his family. Even though he knew it was useless he had to try...

'Only I know now that I... I can't do something like that on my own.

Ahmed did not notice she couldn't meet his  eyes. As he came to understand what she was getting at, he felt a sudden hot prickling in his own eyes; and then he was looking at his boots, at the floor...anywhere but at Deen and Luke.  It was  five years since the earthquake; and in all that time he had never shed tears before witnesses. How mortifying, that it should happen here and now!

'You're a trained Auror, and... I think you know what it's like to experience... loss."

Shuddering as he brought himself under control, Ahmed looked up and forced himself to meet her eyes.

'... I know I have no right to ask for your help. I won't hold it against you in the least if you can't. But I...I need to find Robin, and... I need help to do it.'

Ahmed knew what Raynor would say about this, what his own commanding officer would say. Aurors should never be involved in cases that mattered too deeply to them, personal involvment led to recklessness, etc., etc., etc. Deen should stay out of this because it was her child who was missing, Ahmed should stay out of it because  somehow Deen's and Luke's pain brought his own to the surface. But...

"Yes..." he said. "I do know loss. And if there was anything I could do, anything that might give me even the smallest chance to bring my loved ones back, I would not hesitate. Even if I could only have one of them back... for a day, an hour... I would do it. No matter the price, no matter what anyone said or thought."

He took a deep breath, and wiped his eyes. "Of course I will help."

Aberdeen wasn't aware that she herself was crying until she blinked. Then all of a sudden she was acutely aware of the hot tears tracking down her cheeks, one of each side of her face, an eery kind of symmetry to it. Aberdeen didn't cry in front of people as a rule either. Discounting her childhood, she could count the number who had previously seen her cry on one hand, without using the thumb. Or the pinkie. She found that she didn't feel as ashamed as she thought she would. These were extenuating circumstances, after all.

And perhaps the extenuating circumstances, or the fact that she was already acting 'out of character' anyway, were the reason she stood up, rushed over to Kabir, and enveloped him in an awkward hug. She hadn't been meeting his eye when she explained that she needed help, but she hadn't missed how Kabir had been emotionally affected. It made her appreciate even more his agreement to help her. A brief shuddering sob went through her as she let go. 'Thank you,' she said, her voice husky, but steady. 'You... you really do understand, don't you? You've had it so much worse than me, and...' An involutary sob interrupted her, and as if suddenly self-conscious, she turned away a little to dab at her face with her shirt-sleeve.

'Sorry, I didn't mean to get into such a state. It's just, this means a lot to me, you've no idea. You don't even know me that well.' She offered him a weak smile; this one very nearly reached her eyes. 'You're a good person. I'm... I'm not sure I deserve as good a friend as you.' She gave a small chuckle to take the edge off the slight self-deprecation. And she realised that, without thinking about it too much, she'd called him a friend. It wasn't a term she bandied about lightly. But Aberdeen knew that it was true; that's what Colonel Kabir was to her.