Title Inspiration

They had met on a Monday.  It seemed like ages ago, but it had most assuredly been a Monday.  Now, as this Monday was coming to a close, Akiva had nothing in particular to celebrate – but that didn’t mean she couldn’t do something nice. 

Kiva had a plan for tonight.  She wanted to do something special that didn’t involve having to go anywhere or do anything, particularly cook.  She was not in the mood to do that, which was probably the most telling part of her mood.  She would have normally tried to resolve any issues with a home cooked meal, but she had worked a full day and was tired.  She tried not to use off-time too close to the last time she had, and with Sasha having been around, she really wanted to make sure he wasn’t by himself, and as a result, she had used a lot of vacation moments there.

Now, when she would have also liked to be home, she knew better.  She had to save those days, and so, as soon as she exited the library, she took the telephone exit out of the ministry and dug around her bag for her mobile.  It usually ended up somewhere lining the bottom of her bag and bouncing about.  She huffed slightly as she continued to dig and then her fingers felt the smooth, rubber buttons.  “Ah!” she exclaimed to herself, holding the button down so it would click on, the very annoying beep of a reminder that it was going on – as though she had unintentionally done so, and started to scroll through her contacts.

When she finally happened upon the number she was looking for, she continued to walk, her bag on her shoulder, phone pressed against her shoulder as she rattled off the familiar order, no surprises or anything tonight – just the traditional comfort foods that came into the Katz-Eleor house.  She hoped it would be a good surprise for him. 

When the order was repeated back to her, complete with extra fortune cookies, of course, Akiva politely thanked the man taking the order and clicked her phone shut, turning it off again.  She took a brief glance around and was satisfied no one in particular was looking at her, so she was able to slip into an alleyway, closing her eyes and focusing very vividly on the back porch of the house.  She preferred to apparate to the back, just in case.  It wasn’t her favorite mode of travel, but she wanted the food ordered as soon as possible, and she was already a few blocks from the ministry…

Sighing, she closed her eyes and clenched her fists around the straps of her purse, feeling the familiar rush, the faint sound of her own magic far behind her as she quickly moved, and feeling like she was being sucked through a straw.  But, it was brief; she did not have to go an extraordinary distance, and was on her porch in seconds.  Looking to see that everything was there, arms, legs, toes, fingers, she wiggled everything, just to check, and was happy to see it had gone well.  She was practicing more, and it was paying off.

Reaching into her purse, she pulled out her wand and tapped the back door’s two locks, hearing the click, and laughed as Lady darted out from right underneath her feet, not even stopping for a quick pet.  The backyard had a fence up, so there was no problem there, though Akiva avoided letting either of the cats out – though they were more interested in meowing near the food bowls, Gordon bellowing incessantly.  Akiva sighed and went through the afternoon routine, putting her purse on the table, removing her coat, hanging it on the back of a chair, and then going about feeding the cats and putting the kettle on. 

There’d be tea waiting and Chinese food on the way.  It was a golden plan.  He was coming home at more normal hours now, so he would be back in time for dinner.  She even took the extra time to straighten up a little and pull out plates and things already… She wanted to put forth the effort, at least. 

Dreogan yawned as he pushed back from his desk, feeling his rolly chair dip and shift. He gave a brief smile as he closed his notebook, then shuffled his papers into a more manageable file. Since Reid's arrest, things were quieter, and yet somehow more tense. Dreogan had noticed it the moment he had entered the door. Still, it meant that he could keep all his paperwork in the office. No need for secrets. He could be open.

At least about work.

About his week-long absence, about his involvement in Reid's case, about the events of the 5th -- that, he could say nothing on. His co-workers had been shut out by hesitant, flickering glances and round-about evasions. At times, they'd been directly avoided as Dreogan walked away.

And while Dreogan was withdrawing from the world, shutting all unnecessary, all troubling, and all distracting things from his purpose, Akiva was not one of them. The rabbi had agreed with Dreogan: this was all more than he could handle. Dreogan could not do this on his own. He was right to confide in God, to turn to Him who has the highest level of authority, of power, of comfort. But he was also right to confide in the woman who would be his wife. She, too could help him.  The rabbi had said there were three people in this relationship: Dreogan, God, and Akiva. And the rabbi had been right.

Akiva was still the only person he had dared look directly in the eye. The only person he had told everything -- what had happened, what he had saw, how he had felt -- to. And while Dreogan was blessed with many in the community around him who supported him, both in his religious congregation and the magical world, there was no one to compare to Akiva.

Even if Dreogan had had the strength, energy, or stamina to last his usual, unseemly, hours at work, he didn't want to. He wanted to come home. He wanted her there a hundred times in the day. For little things. Someone said a word that reminded him of a joke. Or he saw something particularly beautiful through the window which she alone could appreciate. He'd visited the library -- not wholly uncommon, particularly since that was how they had met -- even more frequently. Having her there, knowing she was just three floors away, had been a help more than once today, on his first day back. In a way, he felt like a child, still dependent upon a parent for comfort, but it was so much more than that. She was helping him in ways no one else could.

Dreogan dropped his journal and Torah neatly into his briefcase before taking it in hand and making the long journey to the entrance. It was only leaving, seeing the sun setting, that Dreogan realised how tired, how totally exhausted he was. Muscles still sore from the possession, still unable to sleep, and the beginnings of what he feared might be a cold, Dreogan was eager to get home. To see Kiva. To sleep.

He reached a comfortable location to Apparate, appearing at the front door. Stealthy entrances were impossible, primarily because Dreogan had ensured that the would be so, but be tried quietly and non-disruptively to enter, but the jangling of keys as he tucked his into his pocket brought Tabitha trotting forward, paws moving with a swift and elegant speed that Dregoan thought probably was finer than any of Sasha's horses. But he'd never tell the boy.

Tabitha snaked once around her owner's legs before trotting back with equal speed into the kitchen. Dreogan gave a soft, throaty laugh before putting the briefcase down. "Kiv?" he called.

Akiva tinkered with the cups after setting the table, two plates waiting in their normal spots, the rest of the place settings currently empty, but the vase of flowers still in the middle.  The flowers themselves were charmed to last far longer than they should have, which suited Akiva perfectly, she did not have to change them and they were pretty, which she thoroughly enjoyed.  They were also convenient, and that was another plus in Akiva’s book.  She wanted everything to be perfect though, and glancing at the kettle, she lowered the heat, putting the two cups next to the stove and leaned against the counter for a minute.

It was a quiet moment.  It seemed like the first in a while, something she could really hold onto and appreciate.  Letting a deep breath out of her nose, she glanced at the clock on the wall, knowing Dree would be home soon.  She had seen him during the day, had lunch with him, of course, and was enjoying the fact that there was something normal going on.  He was still behaving oddly, but it was not bad.   She liked the fact he wanted to be around her, she liked that he was at least opening up to her and telling her things, he was not being nearly so receptive to the idea that others could also do that.

She didn’t really want him looking for outside help though, at least not from people who were not professionals.  She wanted to be part of his struggle, to help him, and if he didn’t open up to her, then what was she doing?  Granted, she didn’t want him to hold back from others that loved him either – it was a tight rope balancing act as far as she was concerned and she did not want him to tip off on either side.  She wanted him home, wanted him happy, and healthier.  At least she could work on the healthier, even if dinner tonight wasn’t going to do that.

But, it was comfort food, a ritual they seemed to have whenever something wasn’t going quite right or something major changed.  Chinese food would probably always be an inextricable part of their lives together. 

When she finally heard the door open, Akiva glanced up and smiled, pushing herself from the cabinet and propelling herself forward toward the entryway and combined living room.  Tabitha passed by her feet with apparent quickness and Kiv smiled easily, floating through the doorway with an easiness that suggested comfort with this arrangement – him setting his briefcase down, her coming through the doorway, smiling with the evening already starting. 

Putting her arms around his neck, Akiva embraced him fully, pressing her lips against his in a brief kiss.  “Hi,” she greeted easily, still wrapping around him, practically bubbling over with affection.  “Guess what I did as soon as I got off work,” she prompted as Lady trotted forward to sniff at Dree's feet, his briefcase, and then quickly lose interest in favor of a toy from the box near the hearth.  She was proud of herself, hoped he liked her surprise for him.

Dreogan smiled into the kiss -- sometimes, Akiva said it was nearly impossible to kiss him, when he smiled. Sometimes he couldn't help it. "Mm, what?" he asked, suspecting, from the aroma, that there was warm food waiting. He couldn't guess. 1. if she had ordered take-out, which was his suspicion, he couldn't steal this anticipatory moment. 2. if it was not take-out, he'd be implying she was the sort of girl who called "take-out" cooking. Akiva was not that.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning in as he led her into the kitchen to have a look for himself.

There was, of course 3. That it was something entirely different. If that was the case, he ought to have done something more. Flowers, perhaps. Or --

4. She wasn't going to tell him she was pregnant again, was she? His heart beat a bit faster. In the amount of time between work and now, it was feasible she might have been able to drop by Mungo's. And if she did opt for 4. . . would it be a joke as it had been last time?

"How was the rest of work?" he asked, having seen her at lunch, trying to see if the answer might lead him towards an answer.

“You are the only person I think I have ever told to stop smiling,” Akiva giggled as she leaned against his lips, feeling the way they curved up into the smile she adored to look at, but found it almost impossible to kiss him while he was doing so.  The power of a smile, eh?  She sneaked another kiss very quickly before she resumed the lead to the kitchen, his question causing her to pause. 

With Dree there was always the inherent notion that one wanted to tease just a little bit, to throw him off.  But, she considered recent events and recognized that perhaps her teasing would be misplaced here.  Instead, she let him wrap his arm about her waist and she stopped before the kitchen, leaning against him with a contented smile.  She liked these moments, and decided that she would let it last a little longer before she let him in on the surprise. 

She put her hand over his and twirled out a little, to some unheard music, playfully batting her lashes at him and tugged him just a tad bit more forward, “It was very typical,” she said with a sigh, “It gave me a lot of time to think,” she added, “and I decided that I would do something nice,” she smiled, stepping aside to reveal the table, complete with settings and the boxes of Chinese food, set out just like always.  The fortune cookies (now a sentimental favorite part of every Chinese food meal) were also spread around the table. 

“I figured some comfort food was in order,” she smiled and tapped the top of his chair, “Sit!” she ordered cheerfully, though she was not kidding, she wanted him sitting.  He needed to relax and she had done this for him.  She moved to the fridge to get something to drink.  “What would you like for a drink?” she asked, peering over the door at him, “and how was the rest of work?  Did you have a good afternoon?”

“You are the only person I think I have ever told to stop smiling,” Akiva giggled as she leaned against his lips.

“Well, I don’t think it’s something you need to worry about,” Dreogan said, expressing the dread, the fear he’d felt. The past week he’d felt trapped within something deep, dark, and not himself. He was only now staring to come back, but he wondered – he feared that the solitary moments filled withdread and nameless ominousness would always be there.

That had been the wrong thing to share, particularly as Akiva was there, spinning happily, using his hand. He added in an attempted recovery, “I’m learning already to be very obedient.”

He redoubled his attempt to pay attention to what she was saying. “Typical!” he said, his enthusiasm apparent. Despite professions of obedience, he smiled. Broadly and, what he hoped, was convincingly. “My favourite.”

”Sit” she commanded and Dreogan, looking at the chair, decided he needed to practise what he had just professed to master. Obediently, he took a seat, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of her as she moved towards the cabinets to get a glass for each of them.

“. . . Water,” he said somewhat guiltily. It was, really, no different from any other night. Which, as always, he was grateful for. Today, at the end of a day that was so jarringly routine, this was, indeed, a needed dose of comfort. “Work was fine,” he stated, trying to recall what he’d done all day.

He couldn’t remember.

“I don’t think my week away set anyone back much,” he stated. Adon seemed to be making good progress on the Reid case. He'd already made the arrest; now they were just making the final steps to prepare the case against him for the Wizengamot. Part of him was relieved that he was not a hindrance. Part of him wished he’d been truly integral to the functioning of his workplace. But he could not be his uncle. He was happy for others’ success – even if it was without him. “Everyone was very kind. A lot of concerned questions and uncommon small-talk . . .” He added, guiltily, “But I just did work in my office most of the day. But Rema brought in a brownie after lunch as a welcome-back present.” He smiled at Akiva softly, feeling a partial recovery from the earlier bout of overwhelming dark. “She knows I like them.” Of course, his assistant’s brownie, purchased at a bakery on the corner had not been Akiva’s, and he’d tried not to let that bother him.

Frowning softly at his sentiment, Akiva reminded herself that he was still working through things.  He was still trying to figure out everything in his head and not everyone could censor themselves appropriately.  She just shook her head and shoved it aside, especially as he made an effort to alleviate the implication of what he said.  He was trying, which was an amazing step in the right direction. 

She laughed softly as he informed her that typical was his favorite, and she squeezed his hand at his grin.  There was something just a little hollow about it, not the typical warmth she experienced when he would smile genuinely, but it was enough to show that he was trying.  “I know,” she teased softly, squeezing his hand and wrinkling her nose with amusement. 

Glad to see him sitting, she put her hands on his shoulders for a moment, giving him a quick rub before heading to the cabinets.  She suspected he’d want water, and taking her wand from her belt loop, a steady stream of cold water filling up the cup almost to the top – the last few drops from her wand becoming ice cubes.  It would definitely keep things cool.  She repeated the process in the second glass and glanced over at him, listening as he talked. 

It definitely sounded like a rough day at the office.  Walking back over, drinks in hand, she put her glass down near her seat and then moved behind him, reaching around to put down his glass before resting her cheek against the top of his head, her arms hanging loosely about his neck for a moment.  He sounded just… slightly dejected.  Like there was something missing, something was bothering him, but she was no mind-reader, she could not see what was bothering him, merely that he was not his usual self.  It was going to take time though. 

Sliding her hands up his arms and to his neck, Akiva loosened his tie for him, placing a kiss on his temple, and smiled easily as he indicated that Rema bought him a brownie.  Akiva had, at first, had a problem with the woman.  She had an imposed distaste for secretaries, and had been very passive-aggressive about it and her at first, until she admitted what was wrong, and then became aware the woman was very married and very pregnant.  Since then, the relationship had eased and Akiva could actually talk to the woman without anger.  Even a person like Akiva could get jealous after all. 

“That’s what makes her a good assistant,” Akiva professed as she used his shoulders to push herself upright and move over to her seat.  Sitting down, she put her wand on the table, paused a moment, leaning on her elbow to look at him, critically at first, “Does that mean you don’t want any dessert tonight?” that seriousness dissolving into a a flirtier than usual smile flitting across her features.  She missed flirting with him – maybe his ears would take on that curiously pink tinge that she liked so much, and lingered for a moment or two more, watching his expressing before she sat up straight. 

She started to open containers, leaning over the table as she glanced at him “How is Rema, anyway?  Has she brought in any new pictures of the baby?” Akiva would be sure to stop by if that were the case.  Dree would like it, she was sure, and she could deliver one of her own brownies.  (No matter how much she didn’t mind Rema doing nice things for him, she also liked to do those same nice things.) 

"Well," Dreogan said, a slight smile as he shifted his head from side to side, avoiding a direct, 'no,' "I suspect it has something also to do with her degree in conflict resolution and her fluency in a handful of languages."

In fact, credential-wise, Rema might very well have been more qualified for his own job than he was. Something he had considered heavily as he began the initial steps in his thrust for a Muggle Affairs auxiliary agency within the Ministry. If it were ever to become a full-time position, Dreogan would need someone to step in and fill his position. Rema had merrily informed him that the same thought had occurred to her as well and that her family and priorities there were the only thing keeping his job safe.

And so, Dreogan was, for at least several more months, filling this position. It was time to tell Murray-Harker of his intentions . . . and see what she thought could be done for the effort.

"Does that mean you don't want any dessert tonight?"

Dreogan looked at her, perplexed, trying to figure out -- he was thinking about Muggle Affairs . . . brownies . . . Rema had-- A smile brightened his face. "Oh. Well. No, I definitely want dessert," he said, grasping her hand and giving it a squeeze. "They were not your brownies."

"How is Rema, anyway?" More talk of babies and pictures, but this was Rema, and Dreogan smiled. "She's doing well. I'm glad to have her back, but I suspect she'll never return full-time. Her son--"

Akiva was not asking about workloads, labour division, and future career paths. She was asking about babies. "Her son is adorable. They are both so proud. She said it's been her biggest accomplishment, to date." Here, holding Akiva's hand, talking of babies and accomplishments and thinking of the Muggle Affairs branch, Dreogan frowned slightly. He had told Rema it was her greatest accomplishment. Because, undoubtedly, family was the singlemost important thing.

Just after social reform.

The snaking, fleeting feeling that he was once more his father crept in. "Well," he said, dismissively, glad at least to be thinking of anything but January 5th. In fact, he'd not thought about that for the past thirty or so minutes. Not until, well. . . he thought about how he wasn't thinking about it.

"And I talked to Murray-Harker about last week's leave." He smiled. "It's a good thing I've been in government for a few years and didn't have any reason to take days off before you." He grinned. "Because I still have enough leave for our Valentine's Day trip. . . if you're still wanting to?" he asked, hopefully.

It would be hectic. It would be bad timing, because it would be all meetings before and after that. It was bad timing, because Dreogan still could not look in mirrors or get through a night's sleep and was so, so tired. But it was perfect. Because neither of them could keep up this pace forever.

 “That’s what I like to hear,” Akiva giggled softly, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, squeezing his hand back.  He was very sweet when it came to that sort of thing.  She liked to treat him to things like that, and had noticed (before the fifth) that he had been gaining some weight – not a bad thing, she remembered thinking he was skinny when they first met.  Now she could attribute it to the fact that he probably worked all hours of the day and seldom ate. Since they had been together, Akiva tried to instill some form of a normal diet for him. 

She appreciated what Rema was doing, making Dree comfortable, and probably doing a lot of the work herself.  The woman was really an assistant Akiva could respect.  From what Dree explained, she seemed very adept and could handle more than her fair share, which was good news when things were as hectic as they were.  Dree would get back in a routine soon enough, but she knew his heart wasn’t really in what he was currently doing, it was something she could just… feel sometimes, like he wanted something else, though she did not know exactly what that was. 

His passions about issues of muggle-awareness and understanding of magic were well-known to Akiva.  She had looked up his father after they met and researched a little, just to see, and his theories were certainly revolutionary for the wizarding world.  She appreciated them, though did not know how practical much of it was, even if she was being idealistic.  Knowing Dree though, she could just tell he wanted to make some of those things realities, and diplomacy between wizarding nations was not what was going to do it for him. 

Until he came up with something, he’d be working with Murray-Harker and the rest of them, settling disputes outside of their borders, rather than in.  So, when they got the chance to have normal conversations, Akiva took them, and smiled easily and nodded along.  She was happy for Rema and her husband, they must have been thrilled.  “Good for them,” she said genuinely, and had very little else to say about it, considering.  She had learned the b-word was, for the most part, off-limits. 

It made him anxious, more anxious than it should have really, but she figured it was natural.  And he quickly changed the subject, per usual.  There were things about him that she was starting to get to really know, and she couldn’t help but smile.  Eventually, the elusive behavior was going to get old, but for now, she didn’t mind too much. 

They had bigger fish to fry, so to speak, anyway.  Like figuring out how things were going to work from here on out and what it was going to be like.  Changes were common; it didn’t seem that the state of their relationship was stagnant for more than a day or two, which was preferable – boring did not suit them (at least not to her, though she was sure others might disagree).  She blushed a little as he talked about days off and mentioned that he still had the days to take off for the vacation he had planned and given her as a Hanukkah present. 

She was very much looking forward to it and the way he spoke, it seemed he was too.  She smiled back at him and squeezed her hand, “As long as you can manage to get the time,” Akiva assured him, not wanting to interfere too much with his job.  It was stressful, she knew that, but it would also be nice to get out of England for a weekend and leave it behind.  The would be able to devote time to each other, exclusively, and that was something Akiva was really craving. 

“I would really enjoy going on holiday with you,” she initiated a slow, lazy sort of kiss – the kind that greeted a morning where everyone slept in and laid around for a few hours.  She wanted another one of those mornings soon.  The weekend was definitely an appropriate time for that… thanks goodness for that.  By now, the table was all ready with their food separated and put onto plates, ready for their dinner.  Sitting back in her seat, unfortunately having to break that wonderfully comfortable kiss, she let out a small sigh.  “Everything has been fine though?” Akiva asked, “Taking some time off won’t make having missed any harder, will it?” She just wanted to be sure.  An anxious Dree wouldn’t be very fun on holiday, though she hoped it would relax him.

"No, don't move away," Dreogan whispered in complaint as she shifted back into her chair. He also sighed, brows knitting as he only now began to worry about what she was saying.

"It'll get better," he said with a quiet sort of nod that was neither the assurance that things were going, as Akiva had asked, "fine," nor a direct complaint. "I'm not very worried; I'm between projects anyhow," he reassured, taking her hand and using the resistance of her weight to pull himself up from his chair. He leaned over her, crouching somewhat awkwardly, for a kiss.  He smiled down at her, helping her back onto her feet for a moment. The food hadn't arrived just yet. They had a little time.

"--wanna kiss you," he mumbled as he drew her into a hug, kissing a moment along her neck before pulling away, frowning slightly. "I'm sorry." The words sounded small; not quite enough. He'd been so worried - so worried about what had happened, what could have happened from the events of January 5th - so worried about where he was at and what he could do to get himself together - that'd he not yet had time to worry about her. In this moment, was changing. "You're happy?" Akiva was so good at knowing just what to give Dreogan, just what he needed. But Akiva, she insisted she didn't need anything. And it wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Dreogan didn't know, though, what she needed.

This was distressing.

He'd asked about her day. She'd said it was fine. He's asked about the holiday. She'd said it was wonderful, if he could get it off. And he could. But what did she need just now?  He'd have given her anything. He was even making more of an effort to give her his time. But it still seemed that she worried. Looked at him with overly concerned eyes. He didn't want that. He wanted her to be happy and. . . and even if he couldn't, right now, he wanted her to laugh. He wanted her to feel safe.

"I hope," he said, his breath catching a bit as he planted a kiss atop her head, then against her temple, "that I help you feel better about yourself. You are the best person I have ever known, Akiva Katz."

Akiva did not hesitate to try grant him his request, though the inertia of her movements put her bum squarely back into her seat.  Frowning softly, her displeasure was cut short as Dree reached over and took her hand, doing that little thing he always did, rubbing his thumb over the backside of her hand.  She loved that and smiled at him, trying to reassure him that it was okay while he reassured her that he was not too busy to spend a glorious weekend away with her.  She was very glad to hear that, actually, and Akiva nodded with a smile.  “Good,” she said finally, jarred by his tug and giggled as he stood up over her, laughing softly as he leaned into her, pressing her into a hug.

He was so warm and comfortable. She placed her arms around his neck, feeling his stubble rub against her cheek and neck, soon replaced by a faint trail of kisses that caused her to blush and giggle at the same time.  Turning her head toward him, she tried to catch a glimpse of his eyes, though failed as he was blocked by her hair - and his.  Giggling, she reached over and played with a strand, uncurling the hair and letting it sproing back into place.  She froze momentarily though, and raised her eyebrows.  “Sorry? Why sorry?” She had been thoroughly enjoying herself just seconds ago and here he was apologizing? 

She quickly realized, however, that it was not for his behavior that he was apologizing.  Leaning back a bit, Kiv touched his face and shook her head.  “Happy? Dree, what a silly question,” she said as an almost automatic reaction.  She managed to squirm away so she could meet his eyes, see how serious he was about the question and it certainly seemed to be serious.  Running her thumb over his cheek, down to his jaw, “Of course I’m happy.”  It was almost distressing for her to know that he questioned that, was she not vocal enough about it?  Maybe she wasn’t… when she thought about it, she barely talked about herself, if she could help it, and not because Dree wasn’t interested, but because she didn’t want to take up time that she could be helping him. 

She’d really have to think about it more, and she tugged him in for another hug.  Rubbing his shoulders a little, she wanted him to know she appreciated him, that she was happy and that he made her happy.  She released him only slightly, her hands still on the tops of the rounded portion of his shoulders, smiling and blushing - an awful lot of that going on in this conversation.  Smoothing down his shirt front, Akiva averted her eyes, knowing how absolutely serious he was in talking to her and appreciating the unabashed honesty.  It was a bit embarrassing - if only for a woman who did not so easily accept praise like that, but she was going to when it came to him. 

“You’re going to give me a very large head,” she informed him very matter-of-factly, still awkwardly trying to accept the compliment without deflecting too much.  It was the truth though, he kept talking to her like that and she might start acting like it - though, to be fair, she had to remind herself that maybe she already was acting that way, warranting the compliment.  Whatever the case, she gave him a kiss and nodded.  “And,  I won’t be Akiva Katz much longer,” she figured she did not need to need to remind him, but she did like to say it.  “So that will make me even better.” 

She kissed him again, since it seemed to be a pattern, speak, kiss, speak, kiss - good pattern.  “Thank you, Love,” she added after she pulled away, leaning her forehead against his chin.  She could feel his chin hair and moved a little, just to feel the scratch.  She liked when he wasn’t exactly perfectly shaved - not particularly sure why, but it looked good on him, it really did.  “I’d ask what I did to deserve you,” she pulled away to look up at him with a rueful smile, playfulness clearly written in her face as she moved to stand up, slowly positioning the chair between them - trying to be clever as she lingered on the first syllable of “buuuuut… I suppose it’s you that should ask that question,” she giggled and wrinkled her nose, sticking her tongue out at him. 

Sometimes, even the suggestion of childish fun could be all it took to drag a bubbly laugh from her throat and that glint of competitiveness in her eyes.

“I’d ask what I did to deserve you,” she pulled away to look up at him with a rueful smile, playfulness clearly written in her face as she moved to stand up, slowly positioning the chair between them - trying to be clever as she lingered on the first syllable of “buuuuut… I suppose it’s you that should ask that question."

Dreogan put on an expression of panic, which was mostly, though not fully feigned. "Oh! I'd have no answer!" Dreogan said with a breathy laugh, tinged with awkward reservation. He was distant. Paranoid. Nervous. And a bit controlling. He sometimes wondered who would want that in a husband. He certainly couldn't figure out why someone like Akiva, warm, bubbly, and caring, did. "Must have been something, though," he added quietly, giving her another peck on the lips. Though, really, it didn't take much to make Akiva happy.

"I'm . . . glad you're happy. I know I've been a bit out of sorts since--" well, maybe it was before. . . "--the fifth. But I've got plans and it'll get better. We've got Valentine's Day--" he ran his fingers up her neck and through her hair, smiling at the thought of their vacation.  He listed softly, leaning in close enough to smell her perfume, "we'll unpack that last box of whatever-it-is upstairs, and work's going to go great. . . and then in Spring, we'll be married. . ."

He had to paint a picture of How Things Should Be. Or they'd never get there. "I'm . . . I'm going to -- I'm thinking of going forward with the new Muggle Affairs agency in the government." This, he suspected -- he hoped-- wouldn't be surprising news. He'd mentioned dreams for that when they started dating. It had been thrown out casually. With a discussion about something quotidian like hobbies. Or ideals. Or life goals. He couldn't remember how, but he remembered on their hike, laying down in the grass and talking about it. He'd talked about it then, hadn't he? He'd thought about it, certainly.

Had he started telling her what he was thinking by that point? A troubled expression flickered over his features. "I just think it's time."

Kiv’s playfulness was subdued by his answer to her joking, suggesting that he would have no idea.  It didn’t sound quite as teasing as she had been going for and she stepped around the chair to get closer to him, examining his face.  “Something indeed,” she responded in turn, touching his cheek with the hints of five o’clock shadow under her fingertips.  The stubbled hair faded as she got farther down his neck and rested her hands on the front of his chest, smiling at him. 

Sometimes, she wondered what was going through his head.  He got a distant look sometimes, in the middle of a conversation where it dropped off completely, and then usually resumed as though nothing had occurred.  He was distant like that, but she took it as one of his quirks.  His brain worked so much, she couldn’t possibly begin to grasp everything that was going through his head at any given moment.  She did like to know, when he was willing to share, and his little speech on how things were going to progress was very nice at the moment. 

It was interrupted though, by the sudden admission that he wanted to go forward with Muggle Affairs in the government.  Akiva had always liked the idea, when they talked about it in passing, something intellectual to bandy between them and share ideas about, share a worldview that was different - that was most usually Dreogan teaching her what he knew and then she would investigate more during the day, just to be able to share.  A lot of it, she had a hard time understanding in its full breadth.  Dreogan was incredibly insightful and deep in his observations and beliefs, which she admired.

There were points where, when he was talking, she wondered how it could be that someone as brilliant as him could entertain her base level understanding of advanced political theories.  She tried, but sometimes it was just above her.  It appeared in this conversation, however, there was just some missing information.  “Well…” she drummed her fingers on the top of his shoulders, averting her eyes only momentarily before meeting his full-on, trying to determine just what was going on in his head.

“I trust you,” she smiled a little, slightly awkward, “but… I didn’t know - I didn’t think…” she paused and licked her lips, searching for what she wanted to say.  “I didn’t know you were ready to start,” she laughed a little, averting her eyes again, slightly embarrassed that she hadn’t kept up with him, though realizing that maybe there was, to some extent, things that he didn’t always divulge - not immediately important things, but… things, nonetheless.  “I… uh… well… is there anything I can do?” she asked, figuring that if it was time for him to do what he really wanted to do, she should be supportive.

His breath hitched at the contact and Dreogan looked up, studying her face. Had they not known each other as well as they did, or cared as much, the length and depth of the gaze might have been awkward.

"I love you," he said with a soft smile. He thought about it - in a few months, they'd be married, they'd be, well they were already sharing a life together. But maybe soon they'd start a family. Akiva meant everything to him, and in a few short month, so many goals would be accomplished . . . making it to April felt like Making It -- he'd have it all.

But could he have both a family and this career? Adon'd often jokingly referred to the Muggle Affairs dream as "his baby." Dreogan could not deny that he'd spent years nurturing the idea, raising it from a mere seedling of an thought to a fragile possibility. It would take months -- likely years of dedication to bring it to fruition. Dreogan remembered his father's absence as he went to visit foreign and influential friends -- some of them like Tulojow, others like the President of Brazil.  The work had been consuming; it had distracted from their family and then, when his work took his life, work had, in its way, destroyed it.

Akiva's assurances of support were tempered by her surprise. Guilt washed over his features and he nodded. "I know; I -- I've been thinking about it for a while, but I hadn't really wanted to say anything because. . . I wasn't sure it'd feel right."

Dreogan had known, he'd always known that this would be something he'd need to do. But there were so many easier paths. He could continue in his job. Have a little family. Settle international disputes. It wasn't an easy job, and it wasn't risk-free. But it was secure and known.

"If I go ahead with it, Akiva . . . it will change things. And not just for the Ministry and the Wizarding and Muggle worlds.  It will change things for us," he said, wanting her to understand. "You don't need to be okay with it," he insisted. "I want to know how you really feel."

Sometimes, standing there and looking at him could provide all the insight she needed for the moment.  He just looked so sincere and it wasn’t even odd, not even uncomfortable.  “I love you too,” she confirmed with a soft smile, knowing that she would continue to say it for as long as she could. 

And she wasn’t going to let her concerns stop Dree from pursuing what he really wanted to do.  She had her worries, of course, but she hadn’t spent years of her life dreaming of something just like this.  Her dreams had never really entailed that much complex thought and planning, and if he felt like he was at a place where he could start it, well, that was an accomplishment in its own right.  She didn’t want to keep him from that, it would be unfair of her to demand that of him when she was positive this passion had been around far longer in his life than she had.

So, when he asked her opinion, when he told her what he thought it would entail, Akiva was already aware of some of that - at least on a common sense level.  It would change a lot of things, it would be an ever present thing in their lives, and it would make a lot of things harder, but it would also make a lot of things better for a lot of people, and Akiva had never been one to give up on something if it was hard.  Relationships weren’t easy things, she knew that, but they had handled things before and they would certainly continue. 

“It’s not a matter of being ‘okay,’ about it, Dree,” she pointed out.  “Does it give me pause? A little, yes, I won’t lie to you.  It’s a big step, and there will be a lot of people who won’t…” she could not help but pause here, glancing down and catching sight of her hand resting on his chest - her tapered fingers leading down into palm, then down to her wrist.  She took a deep breath and then looked up at him again, trying to keep composure, “they won’t approve.  But, that shouldn’t stop you - and I won’t let it stop me from realizing you at least have an idea of what you’re doing,” she cracked a smile, trying to interject a sense of lightheartedness into what she was saying, shifting from one leg to the other as she did. 

She looked back up at him, serious, though still smiling at him - she didn’t want to give him the impression she was upset.  “I trust you,” she said again, “and I want you to do what you’re passionate about. We’ll be happier if you’re doing what you need to do, and I want to help you, if you need it.  We’re partners,” she cracked a real smile, patting his chest before lacing their fingers together, giving him a little squeeze.  “No matter what.”