Outfit

When Liadan had told Cinaed that she intended to spend more time with Christian, she had not been lying. Although it was difficult for her to silence the misgivings she had, Liadan was working hard to do so. He was a halfblood, yes, but he was a man that she genuinely enjoyed spending time with. It wasn't like that with Gregori, or with any of her male, pureblood associates. But regardless of Christian's inferior bloodline, he conducted himself with such a level of propriety that he was ready to let her go without him, just to preserve the sanctity of her heritage and her reputation. Whether Christian (or even Liadan herself) realized it or not, that simple fact had made all the difference in the world.

She was determined, though, to prove to him that she did actually care about him. It was one thing to confess her feelings, another to show them. Besides, when she stated her feelings Liadan had a bad habit of making sure to remind Christian it was against her better judgment. This evening she was going to spend their time together not worrying about his bloodline or her reputation or what her family or friends would think if they knew what she was doing.

Liadan had decided that surprising him with dinner would be a good move. She located a picnic basket and cleaned it up, then dropped it off in the kitchen. Liadan supervised as the house elves put together a meal and dessert combination, and she selected the perfect bottle of wine to go with it. She closed up the basket, and gave the elves strict instructions not to answer the door and to let her know if anyone was poking around the estate. Ever since the whole potions fiasco, that had been happening more often. It seemed as though she was going to have to change the wards around her home to prevent people from sticking their noses where they did not belong.

Apparating to Christian's apartment, Liadan let herself in, not bothering to think of the consequences of basically breaking into his home. Instead she focused on spreading out the meal on his table, and getting everything ready for him. Hopefully he would appreciate the sentiment- it wasn't like Liadan to go out of her way to do something for someone else, especially something thoughtful. She preferred a different type of food than Christian, but she wanted to be sure that he enjoyed it. Liadan was all about fine dining, and Christian preferred things that were traditional. She just hoped that her elves were adept at cooking it, and that he would like it. If he didn't, then her whole plan would be ruined- and she would spend the rest of the evening pouting.

Liadan's ears perked when she heard the door, and she smiled broadly, hurrying over to greet him when he came in. She threw her arms around him, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Good evening, Christian," she said with a smile, stepping away from him. "Are you hungry?" she asked, helping him with his coat. "I brought you dinner. I thought I would surprise you."

There were times Chris could almost see himself settling into the job like being an Auror.  The puzzle solving, proto-military ranking, beaurocracy and paperwork all suited him well as well as that subtle layer of deceit and out-witting the other bloke.  He was finding himself enjoying playing the game.  Of course, there was that minor detail of being unquestioningly loyal towards  Cináed and the WBA.  Now, if the Ministry were ever to change for the better ... Chris could have quite the standing with the Auror office. 

He'd steered clear of the Black Chimaera today.  A few hours were spent filling out reports and holding brief meetings with those in Level 2 that expected such things from him.  Those formalities behind him, he'd made his way over to the Leaky Cauldron, holding casual conversation with a few of the the shadier patrons who seemed to have some prospects of being WBA members.  Towards early evening, he'd started off in the direction of home. 

Earthy, hearty aromas met Christian's nose as he stepped through his front door.  Chris was met first by the smells of dinner and second by the wonderful vision of Liadán.  He grinned, wrapping his arms around her and holding as she greeted him.  How very simple and ... normal this felt.  If only fate ... if only things had turned out slightly different, this could be them.  This could be him.  Every day.  If, yet again, it weren't for that one tiny detail. 

"Liadán!" he offered, his surprise readily apparent.  He let his hands linger on her shoulders a few moments, even as she stepped away.  Only when she made to help him with his coat did he drop his arms back to his sides.  "This is quite a surprise.  Yes," he said, glancing around the entry before stepping into the living room. 

She'd brought dinner.  He turned and looked back at her, his eyebrows lifted curiously.  Had something prompted this?  Or was this ... was this a date of sorts? 

"And, it's a wonderful surprise.  Any particular motivator for it?  Or is this just for pleasant company?"

Liadan was not surprised to see surprise register across his features, and kept her smile plastered to her face. "A girl needs motivation to bring dinner to a man she cares about?" It was an odd sentence coming from her, and she knew it. It left a bitter taste in her mouth as well. Liadan was not accustomed to voicing any of her emotions, especially not any emotions relating to any of her romantic notions. It was silly, she had kept telling herself, to allow any feeling for Christian to influence her. But it had influenced her, and after she had confessed her feelings to him, there was no going back. She could not pretend as though it never happened, and the gentle prodding and interference from Cinaed had helped her along.

Besides, Christian was in the auror office now. He had information that could help her. He knew that she was on the watch list. Christian knew moves before they were made, and that could benefit her. Sure, she did liked him- Liadan had always had some sort of a crush on him, however hard she tried to convince herself otherwise- but that did not mean that she could look at the brright side of things. His bloodline certainly wouldn't benefit her- but his connections would.

"Come, before it gets cold," she ordered, grasping his hand and leading him to the kitchen. "I hope you like it. I wasn't sure what you would want. I figure that you've had a roguh day at work and would like something comforting." Comfort food was not something she ought to be partaking in. She still hadn't lost any of that weight she had assured herself that she would. Liadan motioned him to a seat, and poured him some wine. "It's not often I let a whim of kindness win over my sensibilities, Christian darling, so if I were you I'd take advantage of it for the evening."

She took one of the empty seats, pouring some wine into her glass as well, sipping it as she studied him. Cinaed was right- Chris was a good man. She had dated many purebloods over the last few years, and that could not be said for many of them. Gregori was alright, she supposed. He was handsome, well to do, and cultured. He could dance well, and knew how to behave (for the most part) whenever they went to parties. Mostly, though, Gregori was someone she could take out in public and not have to worry about others whispering behidn her back about her date. It wasn't like Charlotte and Felix, where everyone had something to say. Liadan did not want to be that girl where people made fun of her because she had decided to go slumming...

But if Christian was considered to be the slums, then the slums weren't so bad. But a larger part of Liadan knew that in the end, this would be cruel. As much as she cared for Christian, as well as they got along, the chances that she could put aside her upbringing and commit to him long term were slim. Something extraordinary would have to influence her on that end, to coax her into it. It would take a very long time, perhaps even years, before she was able to let go of those beliefs. Before then, a pureblood might come along and sweep her off of her feet, delegating Christian to being an extramarital affair- and Liadan was not sure that Christian's moral fiber (which oddly existed) would allow that to happen.

"How was your day at the office?" she asked, waiting for him to serve himself before getting a helping for herself. A small helping- this was certainly not healthy eating. Really, she needed to look into some sort of potion to aid her in flushing out the fat she had put on. Liadan was starting to get love handles! How dreadful! "Are you out there catching bad guys and doing good for the rest of wizarding kind?"

A distinctly pleased grin spread across Chris' face as he shook his head.  The man she cared about.  It was still taking some getting used to - being the man Liadan cared about.   Even if it was a private and not-disclosable-to-the-public affection.  "No.  I suppose she doesn't,"  he conceded without a second thought.  "Dinner with the woman he cares about sounds like an excellent evening." 

He took the offered hand and followed her into the kitchen, shaking his head in amused disbelief at the spread on the table.  It looked delicious.  Who could ask for better?  A wonderful hearty meal, a fantastic pure woman to share it with and - yes - wine.  Chris settled himself in a chair, shaking his head in a small amount of lingering disbelief before giving himself over to the fantasy.  Either he was dreaming or he wasn't.  And, if he was dreaming, he was certainly in no rush to wake up. 

"It wasn't exactly a rough day," he admitted, serving himself some food with a shrug.  "Now that I'm back to Knockturn most of the time, I can keep out from under the other Auror's thumbs, the righteous gits.  I don't have put up with being their personal minions.  You can't imagine how full of themselves some of them are."  Really - they had to get over themselves.  The whole lot of them.  They were infuriatingly obnoxious.  "I can understand why Cin hates them so much."  Other than, of course, the whole dynamic of being their ward.  "I can't stand their superiority complexes and I'm just a trainee.  Couldn't imagine actually having to answer to them.  Didn't even bother to bat an eye for poor Ashford." 

Really, Chris was more than happy to be assigned to Knockturn.  Yes, there was no shortage of wizards down that way that were still suspicious of Chris.  No doubt Chris was always watching his back.  But, even the old hag Gormal was preferable company to Radley. 

He took a sip of his wine and leaned back against the chair.  "It's excellent," he admitted with a satisfied nod over another bite.  It was definitely a nice meal to come home.  In many different ways.  "Somehow, I'll have to find a way to entice you to return for a repeat showing."  It was bold, yes, but perhaps Cinaed was right.  Bold might just be the way to go.  Women liked to feel wanted - that's what the larger fellow was always telling Chris, despite Chris' insistence that Liadan wasn't like other women.  Either Cinaed would be right or he'd be wrong and it probably wouldn't take long to find out.

Chris chuckled and shook his head.  "No - no being out there catching bad guys.  I'm officially supposed to be out there pretending to be one of the bad guys.  It's tough but I'm managing."

Liadan smiled, listening to him talk. She understood what he meant about aurors being horrid people. "They spend too much time harassing people that they shouldn't," she conceded. "I learned that first hand. They think that crime runs in families, and they're all hate mongerers. They hate purebloods, and anyone who is different from them." Granted, Liadan supposed at this point that the aurors would have reason to bother her. She had kidnapped a child, and was attempting to start breeding dragons again. But they did not know that yet, and she did not intend for them to find it out.

"Perhaps you will just have to put them in their place," Liadan suggested. "Just one up them on something. They are probably so arrogant they can't fathom the idea of a trainee being better than them. I'm sure that you are, though. Probably more talented in every way."

"I was thinking we should do something in Mannie's memory... Something nice. It would mean a lot to everyone, I think, and it's unfair that the authorities don't care to investigate that wretched child just because it was Mannie. If it were anyone else then questions would have been asked! But I was thinking that we ought to get Veela Vixen to dedicate an issue to his memory. He had to be their most loyal subscriber." Not that Liadan approved of such magazines, but it would be a gesture that the Black Chimaera patrons would surely appreciate. "I'll have to find out who runs the magazine and set up a meeting with them. I'm sure with the proper monetary donation that they would be inclined to do it."

Liadan took a roll and pulled it apart, fightng a blush when he mentioned trying to lure her back over. "I'm sure we can think of some reason that I might have to pay you another visit... Or a reason you might have to come and visit me." The idea of having a man over to her home had never been one she had entertained. Liadan had denied Gregori's insisting that he should visit- she did not want him getting the wrong idea, thinking something would happen. But she had no doubt that Christian coming over wouldn't have those sorts of consequences, and that he would not try to push her. Christian respected her hesitation, and respected her. It was an odd relationship that they had, but it worked. If only he was more confident, then things would be much better. Liadan was attracted to powerful men who could stand their own ground- and she often doubted Christian's abilities to do so.

"I'm just glad that you enjoyed the surprise," she told him. "A lot of men wouldn't appreciate a woman infiltrating their home. I promise, though, that I wasn't snooping." She hadn't been, either. Liadan, admittedly, hadn't really had the time to snoop. Though she doubted he had anything worth snooping around anyway. Christian didn't seem the sort to have a skeleton in his closet which needed discovering. He was nothing like her in that respect.

"They are all quite full of themselves."  Christian settled back, comfortably, in his chair, a slight, smug grin settling on his features.  Now this was a way to end a day spent catering to the self-righteous whims of those aurors.  Coming home and sitting down to a rich glass of wine and a hearty meal served by a fine woman.  It was the type of thing he could easily get used to.  It was certainly preferable to coming home to a dark, empty house. 

Determined to enjoy the moment as much as possible, took a bite of food before sipping his wine and adding, conversationally, "and, such hypocrites.  You're right - they hate purebloods and yet spend the day preaching about the evils of those of us who find value in the preservation of wizarding heritage."  It had taken some time and much encouragement from Cinaed but Chris had come to accept it was alright for him to claim that perspective.  He was halfblood, yes.  His mother was a muggle, yes.  A fact which he shamelessly flaunted to bolster his reputation in the auror office.  Yes, he valued pureblood and, more than many of his pureblooded companions, recognized the damage that could be done by purebloods being deluded into thinking they were on equal footing with muggles.  As Cinaed had pointed out, Chris had been an unwilling victim of his father's poor choice in mate. 

Liadan's shameless flattery did not go unnoticed.  He offered another smug grin around his fork.  He wasn't one to preen but compliments such as those from a woman of her caliber were quite welcome.  "This whole dance is about getting one up on them.  Every day I successfully pull the wool over their eyes, I've got one up on them.  Hopefully, they'll never be made aware of that fact but that's really for the best.  Is it not?"  To be honest, Chris was enjoying the whole game - the deception, the risk of the reintegration with the Knockturn crowd.  There was a delicious sense of control that came from knowing something that no one else really knew. 

"They were very quick to write it off as self-defense.  Which, implies the mudblood was defending himself.  Which, it seems, implies Mannie posed some threat to the flubberworm.  How could he?  Manfred was wandless - he wouldn't have been foolish enough to risk re-incarceration for that worthless wretch.  But, you're right.  The authorities don't care.  He was a Death Eater so he wasn't worth the effort to those aurors that claim equality for all."  Her's, of course, was a fantastic idea and Chris nodded his approval as he took a few more bites.  "I bet they would.  He certainly wrote into them enough; I have no doubts they knew who he was.  I would offer to go with you to this meeting but it might raise a few questions with the wrong crowd."

She was blushing.  Despite her attempts to fight it, the slight pink on the apples of her cheeks betrayed her.  His grin broadened and took on a more victorious flair.  So, she wasn't shying away from a little innocent flirting.  The invitation to come to her wasn't lost on him, either.  Chris leaned back against the back of his chair and considered her a moment.  Might as well see how far he could push the envelope; luckily, Liadan wasn't a woman to stay shyly mum if he neared that proverbial line. 

"A man would have to be an utter fool to not appreciate coming home to this," he said, nodding to the spread on the dinner table.  "And, snoop away if you get the urge.  I've got nothing to hide."  His position was too precarious all around to risk any tangible evidence against him in any way.  Liadan wasn't the only one that might decide on an unplanned visit.  There were many others; and those others were just as likely to be other former Death Eaters and members of the Wizarding Blood Alliance as they were to be Aurors.  His flat was literally and figuratively spotless.  "In fact, I'd invite you to come over as often as you like but I suspect you enjoy coming without invitation more.  I could invent a whole list of reasons for you to be here." 

"Well you are quite good at the dance, dearest," she assured him. "They don't suspect a thing, I'd wager. You're very good at what you do. But wouldn't they be so properly scandalized if it ever got out? Or if they knew what kind of... private company you were keeping." No doubt the auror office wouldn't take kindly to Liadan's budding affections, or their recent increase in time spent together. She was a threat to the ministry after all. And all because of some silly shrunken heads she had peddled to the wrong person... Shame on them! There was no law against shrinking heads, so long as you weren't out killing people for it. "I suppose it's one thing to go undercover, and another to romance the enemy, hm?" she smiled sweetly.

"I'll do something nice for Mannie. Though I'm quite certain, were he alive, he'd be very surprised by it. My few visits to the Black Chimaera he and I were not exactly friendly with one another. Then again, men like he and women like myself rarely have anything in common." And his gruff nature offended her sensibilities. Liadan expected all men to treat her with dignity, and to praise her for what she was. Manfred was not the sort to cater to that. "Besides, I think Cinaed would appreciate it, too. I often feel like I'm not doing very much for that little club you two are working at." Yes, little club. Liadan did not realize the full seriousness of the WBA. She was a purist, she liked the idea of wizards banding together against the ministry and muggles, but she was not dedicated to it, not truly. Liadan was simply interested in Christian, and liked to think of herself as friends with Cinaed- and what else were friends for, after all?

Liadan tossed a piece of bread at Christian when he suggested she enjoyed coming over without invitation. It was true, she did have a habit of showing up without any announcement, but he needn't remind her of it. "And I suspect you'd enjoy it if I kept showing up in my robe and nightgown," she jested. It was a brave statement, but Liadan could not help herself. She would not let Christian win this... whatever game that it was. She might have less experience in proper flirting, but Liadan wagered she was more accustomed to having affections shown to her than Christian was.

"Oh, could you? A whole list?" She wondered if he would be willing to flatter her if she tried to coax him into it. "Tell me, what would a lady have to do to find out exactly what sorts of things would be on such a list?" Liadan was rarely a forward woman, but she was rarely genuinely interested in any men she associated with. Christian was not a gringotts vault and a pedigree. This made him an exciting, yet dangerous pursuit. Liadan knew that, in the end, this would not end well for either of them. She cared for Christian in a ways he had not cared about a man in the past, and this made him irresistible. She wanted to explore those feelings, but rarely took the time to consider the consequences. It was not just Christian's heart she was gambling with, but she refused to admit that. Liadan was above getting tied up in such a relationship. Besides, they were not romantically involved. Or if they were, they had never discussed it.

A smug smirk played on his lips as he took a sip of wine.  He didn't consider himself a conceited man; he'd learned to let little of what others thought about him bother him.  He'd been a halfblood who preferred the company of purebloods - he'd learned early to be humble.  But, the praise was still easy and pleasant to listen to.  "A few of them seem a little wary - but I think it's just the usual wariness of the newcomer.  And, as to my private company-"  His smirk grew into a broader grin.  "They'd probably assume it's all part of my cover.  Their misconceptions are rather advantageous." 

Curiosity and uncertainty tempered the grin and Christian's eyebrows rose slightly.  "Romancing the enemy?"  There was nothing sarcastic in Liadán's smile - nothing to indicate he should assume that statement had an unspoken alternate meaning.  This meal had a definite flirtatious undertone to it but they'd been carefully treading that line since that night Liadán had shown up on his doorstep.  He'd never known Liadán to be the type to joke about such things but he hadn't been aware they were there.  "Am I romancing the enemy?"  If she wasn't beating around the bush, there was no reason for him to circumnavigate the azaleas. 

Chris chuckled at the mention of Mannie and shook his head as he set his wineglass back down.  "I'm not sure I ever saw Manfred be friendly to anyone.  Mildly disgruntled was the closest he ever got - and  Cináed was usually the only one privileged enough for that treatment.  Can't really blame the guy, though.  Twenty-seven years in Azkaban - and most of that had been when they were still using dementors.  If you hear the stories they have, it's a wonder the man was sane at all.  But, I definitely think  Cináed would appreciate it.  You know Mannie was Cin's mentor in Azkaban, right?"  Chris would neither be surprised if she knew or didn't know.  Both of the men had been wandless; both made their way through Knockturn safely almost purely on reputation.  Neither hid their histories of Azkaban but neither were exactly forthcoming with the touchy feel emotional details.  "The little club?  You mean the Black Chimaera?  Or the Alliance?" 

He laughed, a light easy laugh as the piece of bread bounced off his end of the table.  Here they were, skirting that line once more.  But, Liadán seemed relaxed, comfortable with it.  In fact ... Christian blushed slightly, shaking his head in surprise.  "I - well -"  He shrugged slightly, taking a bite of his food to buy him some time before finding a way to respond.  "I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't enjoy it."  Who wouldn't, after all?  "But, there's something to be said for the unexpected surprise."  The flirtation continued and, with a grin, Christian opted to follow her lead.  It wasn't a bad idea to try to test his limits.  "To get such a list, most ladies might have to offer something I'd want in return.  For you, however, all you'd have to do is ask." 

Liadan had not known that Mannie was Cinaed's mentore. She had known they were in Azkaban together- but had never thought to ask or to find out more. "Cin and I never really spoke much of Mannie. Generaly conversation was business. And if it wasn't business then it was... well... Other things." Things like Christian. Liadan remembered the day she stormed into Cinaed's pub, accusing him of using Christian, afraid for her friends wellbeing and angry at the idea of Cinaed putting him in harm's way. And then there was all of the advice, and the accusations he made that she was leading his friend on... It seemed any time she visited Cinaed he seemed to think she had some Christian-fueled motives. Now it was either Fionn or Christian fueled motives. It wasn't true. Liadan had some weird affinity for Cinaed's company. Even she did not fully understand the relationship, and she didn't think on it very much.

"Let's not talk about it," she said when he asked for clarification on the club. Liadan did not want to discuss the WBA this evening. She asked for tasks now and again- and she had helped Cinaed to get his son back, but she had not done that for the WBA. She had done that for Cinaed and for Fionn. He deserved a proper parents. Purebloods should not be raised by the wrong people. "I want this evening to be about us. Not about Cinaed or Manfred or the Black Chimaera or the Alliance."

"You weren't aware that you were romancing the enemy?" Liadan asked. "Then you are either very good, or very bad at it. I think that we should assume you are the former. I do not think that I could allow myself to care about a man who was bad at romance." Liadan was bad enough at it for the both of them. Sometimes her flirting was awkward and off par, and she wasn't exactly compassionate or sensitive most of the time. "Perhaps it is the other way? Perhaps the enemy is romancing you?" she asked. "I do seem to be the one making all the moves in our little game. Quite unladylike of me... You must be most disappointed." Not that she gave him very much encouragement to make his own moves. If he had made any before she had decided that her feelings were something she was not going to ignore, she would have spurned him and done so harshly. He was not a fool. He had to know that.

Liadan liked the way he blushed when she mentioned her state of undress that night. They had never really spoken of it. But he did not hand the list over as she had expected, instead informed her she would have to ask. Liadan had thought her half-hypothetical would constitute. "Most ladies?" she asked instead, faking a pout. "I should hope you aren't having other ladies break into your flat to cook you dinner and demand flattery..."

The idea of offering something he wanted in return made Liadan blush a dark shade. She was certain he had not meant it the way she had interpretted it. And the fact that her brain would leap to such a conclusion was embarassing. She had clearly been spending too much time with the wrong people. Before she knew it, Liadan was goin to end up like Dolly St. James! "Well, Mr. Colburn, you certainly do drive a hard bargain... But please, do tell. I'd love to hear some of the things on this list of yours. Well placed compliments do get a person everywhere in life, after all. So please, by all means, flatter me Mr. Colburn."

"Doesn't surprise me," Christian admitted, with a slight shake of his head.  "It isn't exactly a topic of casual conversation."  There really wasn't much about Azkaban that could be considered a casual conversation topic.  Especially amongst those that had been there.  Chris had learned that early on, when he'd first met Cinaed.  Ex-Azzies could speak of Azkaban casually amongst themselves. 

And, it most certainly, wasn't a casual topic for dinnertime conversation.  "Alright," he agreed with a grin.  "Sounds like an excellent idea."  An excellent, though strange idea.  That was the thing about such organizations.  If one wasn't careful, they could easily consume the lives of the devoted.  Cinaed was a good example of that; there'd been plenty of times Chris had wondered if he was following in the larger man's footsteps.  However tonight, apparently, he was demonstrating the art of having other things to be devoted to. 

Chris lifted an eyebrow as he watched Lia a moment.  Was he supposed to know whether or not he was romancing the enemy?  The rules of engagement were changing quickly and whenever he seemed to catch up with them, they changed again.  "I prefer to think I'm very good at it, as well.  And, am as equally relieved that it has been well-received.  I will be sure to put more conscious effort into doing so in the future, now that I know you're obliging."  A smirk flickered at the corner of his mouth as he nodded slightly.  Yes, she perhaps had been the one leading the show in the past.  "Not disappointed, no.  If all other matters were equal, it might be considered unladylike but they aren't equal, are they?"  The matters weren't equal; they weren't equal.  Chris wouldn't be taking the lead if he didn't know it was his for the taking. 

"A list of reasons for you to be over here," Chris offered, leaning his head back as if to give the idea consideration.  "We've already touched on the food and wine.  But, perhaps you've got some excellent reading material to bring over.  Or, need to complain about a particularly aggravating client.  Or, truthfully, you don't need a reason.  You could break in because you want to." 

Liadan's playfulness and smile faltered when he mentioned they were not equal. She was trying so hard not to make this evening be about their blood status. About who was pure, who was not. It was supposed to just be for them. She had confessed that evening in late November that she cared about him. Liadan had said things she had never said to anyone else. Things that had hurt her to say, and words that she would probably never admit to having said to anyone other than Christian. He was what he was- she knew that. Liadan also knew that Christian had an equally difficult time with accepting her feelings. But she had hoped, in glossing over that fact this evening, in ignoring it entirely- that he would be able to do so as well.

She sighed, and crossed her arms, genuinely pouting at him. She was just so disappointed that he had even gone there! If she could be alright with that for one night, why couldn't he? Did he think she would regret her actions? At least she was not under the influence of alcohol this evening. Had been drinking too much wine, she could understand his gentle reminder. But she was not. Liadan was fully in control of the situation.

"I was hoping we wouldn't be speaking of that tonight," she told him. There were a lot of other things she wanted to tell him. Liadan wanted to tell him just how hard she was trying, just how much she wanted to prove to him that he didn't need to give up! Liadan liked a man who was sure of himself, who knew what he wanted and reached out and took it. It was a trait bred into most pureblooded men, and one she had come to admire and expect in her friends and associates. "If I am willing to... overlook... certain matters, in the hopes of having a pleasant and hopefully romantic evening, then I should hope you could, too," Liadan told him.

But it hurt her. And Liadan was not accustomed to having her feelings hurt. At least not these particular feelings. Not the ones that cared about people. This was why she had been afraid. And she knew that he hadn't meant it, not the way she had taken it. But it made her feel like her efforts this evening had been in vain! (Never mind the fact that it was her fault for having been so adamant about pointing out his muggle lineage in the past.)

And damnit, now she wanted to cry. Liadan O Morain did not cry! Especially not in front of other people! Lotte and Melly were the only people to have ever witnessed it. She barely heard his reasons for her breaking into his home as she stood up. "If you'll excuse me," she said to him quietly, scurrying away from the table into his bathroom. Liadan needed to regain her composure. This was not a part of the game! She locked the door behind her and sat down on the toilet lid, inhaling sharply, closing her eyes. She was not going to cry!

Within a blink of an eye, Liadan's demeanor changed completely.  Where once she'd been relaxed and even a little flirtatious, she was now back to being rigid and touchy.  Christian stared across the table at her, his eyes widening a little further with each terse phrase. 

He blinked in surprise and confusion as he watched her pushed herself back from the table.  She was upset with him because he had not recognized the bright, sparkling red herring for what it was?  That now, somehow, the rules had changed so drastically that she was not only willing to overlook his blood status herself but was also expecting him to do so as well?  It wasn't like his blood status was such a common topic of conversation between them that its absence could really be considered profoundly significant.  Was she really expecting him to know the difference between the topic not coming up because she was graciously agreeing it wouldn't be an issue and the topic not coming up because it was simply a fact they spent most of their time skirting around? 

At what point, then, would those rules change again?  What were the current rules of this game?  Was he required to ignore the implications of his blood status here, in his own home but was he supposed to abide by those social rules anywhere else?  Or only around those in her social circle?  Or, perhaps, only on weekdays?  Was she really expecting him to play flawlessly by some unspoken rules that only she was familiar with? 

But, before he could ask these questions or even apologize, she'd hurried from the room.  Christian stared at his plate before downing the rest of his wine in one gulp.  Of course, the wine barely cut it.  He wasn't usually one to reach immediately for the hard liquor but it was hard to deny the temptation of a nice hearty glass of firewhiskey at the Black Chimaera.  The sarcastic commiserating Cinaed was bound to offer would probably be more than welcome right now.  However, Chris had a suspicious feeling that walking out of the house right now was the last thing he should to do. 

He settled for a compromise.  He poured himself a shot of firewhiskey from the bottle Cinaed had given to him over the holidays.  Chances were, she was expecting him to follow her to the bathroom - to beg her to forgive him and come out.  Doing so, though, required understanding what he was expected to apologize for.  Besides, if she wanted to talk about this - if she wanted to clue him into where things were - she could come out and do so.  He had no desire to speak to a bathroom door.  He settled himself on the couch with the glass of whiskey and sipped it as he watched the fire.

... And Liadán did not cry, at least not very much. Her make up was still mostly in tact, and it took only a few minutes for her to realize that Christian was not going to come and coax her from the room. She had fully expected him to follow her, and plead with her through the bathroom door. That was what her father had done to her mother when she was younger, and then within a couple of days she had new jewels to add to her collections and showed them off to all of their friends.

But Christian was not wealthy- not in that way. And if he was, then Liadán did not know about it. She sulked for a while longer about the whole situation. She knew that he could not be blamed. Liadán was fickle. Notoriously fickle. He was not a fool- he had to know about the dates she had been going on, about Gregory at the very least. What was he supposed to think? What was she expecting of him?

What if she had been in his shoes? Liadán would not stand for him to parade around public with dates. The double standard would drive anyone insane, she supposed.

Taking another deep breath she rearranged her hair in his bathroom mirror and cleaned up her face. Slowly, she opened the door and came out, cautiously sitting next to him on the couch, carefully tucking her feet beneath her. This was an all too familiar feeling. They found themselves in a similar position when she had showed up in the middle of the night wearing her sleep clothes.

"I'm sorry for overreacting," she told him. Apparently he was not the sort to cater to her melodrama. Though he might now know it, allowing her to stew and have to admit defeat was likely the most strategic move to make. Otherwise she would continue (trying) to walk all over him. "You hurt my feelings," she said quietly. "I was trying so hard to have a... normal evening. But I suppose I am bad at those. I have managed to royally muck up every attempt at displaying my affections toward you. Either by losing the courage to be honest, degrading you when attempting to explain my feelings, or ignoring key details like I tried to do this evening." Her tone was truly diplomatic. Liadán was trying to separate her feelings from this for the time being.

"I keep doing everything wrong! And it frustrates me that I do. What frustrates me more is that I am the one doing everything. I expected this all to be more romantic- and I suppose I should have known better than that. I was not raised for romance, Christian. I have never learned how to be romantic, or what it is to care for someone. Every relationship that I have been exposed to in my life has been nothing more than a business arrangement. I do not remember my parents having a loving relationship. My father was sent to Azkaban when I was very young, and my mother never dated. But you're not a stranger to my lifestyle, Chris. You know how I was raised."

Liadán sighed heavily, and scrunched up her nose. This was all ridiculous! Why did she have to... explain herself? Excuse her feelings and her actions. Liadán suddenly felt incredibly guilty for all of the problems she had given to Lotte over Felix.

"I don't know what else to do, Christian. I have exhausted my efforts! I showed up in the middle of the night in my negligee and confessed my feelings. I told you that I care about you- and I do. You make me feel... things I thought I would never be able to. That scares me, Christian. Because I don't know where we go from here, or what to do. I don't want to waste your time if you do not want to work through this with me. You know this is not a simple task. And I'll be damned before I put my reputation on the line for a man who isn't sure of what he wants."

Christian had several minutes of peace to nurse the glass of firewhiskey and stare at the fire.  How could things have gotten so complicated?  They weren't even in a official relationship and things were already complicated.  This was probably way Cinaed preferred to avoid the complication of relationships.  He took a sip of the firewhiskey and waited for Liadan to reemerge from the bathroom. 

She finally did return in her usual carefully composed manner.  Evidence of her cry session was almost non-existent; there was no trace of it on her features but there were few reasons why women would hide out in the bathroom.  It didn't need to show for Chris to guess. 

He listened to her apology, nodding his acceptance.  This had been a two sided misunderstanding.  Or, rather, it wasn't even a really a misunderstanding.  It was a not-sure-what-the-rules-were incident.  But the apology continued and Chris listened patiently, unsure of what he was supposed to say or think.  Yes, he knew how she was raised.  He knew she was raised to think certain things about them.  About those like him. 

"Liadan," he said, slowly, after she'd said her peace.  "I'm sorry this is confusing.  I know you're trying and I do appreciate that.  Don't misinterpret this as me not knowing what I want.  I know what I want.  I've known what I've wanted since Hogwarts.  But, I've spent the last five years accepting the fact that what I want is beyond my reach.  There are rules of conduct - there are always rules of conduct.  But, now those rules have changed without warning.  And, no, I haven't kept up with them.  What are the expectations?  What are you expecting of me?  Are we ignoring my blood status from here on out or just this evening?  Are we dating or is this not official?  What are we?  I don't want you to think I'm not interested but I also don't want to offend you.  I need to know what's acceptable." 

The shower of questions from Christian caused Liadán to pause. She knew that they were treading in dangerous waters now. What she said now would either solidify their relationship, or ruin it. She plucked at her dress, chewing her lip, focusing her eyes on her lap as she sorted out his inquiries, attempting to figure out the best order in which to answer them. Though the problem was that Liadán did not know the answers to all of them.

"I... Am going to try my best to talk through this without making an even bigger mess of things,"Liadán stated cautiously. "You and I both know I'm very good at talking in circles, at saying a whole lot that really means nothing in the end. I'm going to try not to be vague." Which would be difficult. Verbal sparring was a well honed skill in pureblood societies, and it was difficult for Liadán to abandon those defense mechanisms- especially when it involved putting herself into a vulnerable position. But she trusted Christian.

And since she did trust him, she would try. "I am trying to learn to... accept your blood status. It's not something that will happen over night, and I think you know that. But regardless of your blood status, I care about you. And I care enough to try my best to overlook it for the sake of cultivating some form of relationship with you. As far as what that relationship is, or its parameters- I'm not certain. I know that I want you, Christian. I know that I want you to want me. I know that if you were with another woman, it would drive me mad with jealousy. I'm jealous of Cin half the time- and we both know how ridiculous that is."

"Even though I know that- and I know that I care about you, that I want you, that I would love to try to be... something... I don't think that I am ready for that yet. So what I expect from you is... patience. I want you to know that I am trying. And I don't want you to be afraid to try, or to feel like you have to walk on eggshells with me- especially in private." Not that she was ready to take him public yet. Perhaps that would come with time. "Does that answer your questions?" Liadán asked. "Or do you need more clarification?"