It was Sunday morning, and Eirene had already finished all of her homework. She'd thought about working on extra credit, but since she'd heard there was a half-unicorn living by the hospital hut, she decided now would be the perfect time to visit!

With carrots resting in the pocket of her winter coat, Eirene trudged towards the hospital hut, where she spotted the paddock, lined with a fresh layer of snow. She would have loved to have had company, and probably would have chattered all the way down the long path from the castle, but unfortunately, Effie wasn't the type who braved the outdoors unless she had to, and Noriko seemed to believe that Eirene would feed her to the horses or something equally ridiculous.

So, Eirene murmured to herself about the snow, how cold it was, and how she wondered if the half-unicorn had a half-horn, and if it would like her just because she was a girl. She hoped so.

As she neared the paddock, she realized she should stop by the hut and ask the Healer for permission first. Eirene began to veer off, until she noticed a tall figure by the fence. He was tall, blond, and-  Sasha. She froze, hoping he hadn't noticed her.

Eirene glanced back at the castle, wondering if she'd be able to turn around and run back. She knew she should! She knew exactly what her parents had told her to do, and they'd made it very clear that she was not to ask him for study help, or steal his physics textbook, or even look at him in the common room! The Prophet said he was a murderer, and of course the Prophet wouldn't lie. Neither would her parents.

Eirene looked at Sasha again, finally noticing what he was doing. He pointed his wand at the fence and casted various spells that she couldn't quite hear, his voice getting increasingly frustrated. She moved forward a bit to see better. Oh, it was one of those posters! She'd seen them all over the school, and tried her best not to glance at them, though curiosity had gotten the better of her and she'd read every single one anyway (down to the fine print). Eirene wondered if those things were really true. Professor Storm and Professor Austerlitz were frightening, surely, but could they be in league with Sasha?

Sasha was so nice to her. He didn't act like those professors at all.

Inching forward, as if she were afraid he'd turn around and hex her, Eirene stopped about ten feet behind him and piped up in a wavering voice that reminded her of Noriko's, "You could try to put a color charm over it to match the fence?"

He knew it was useless before he started but he couldn't just pass the bloody thing by.  It was ridiculous - idiotic.  Ruthlessly killing vegetables.  That didn't even make sense. Idiot.

A flick of his wand and a bright flash of red erupted from the tip and collided with the poster.  Another flick and nothing happened.  A third and then a fourth and, finally, a second jolt of red.  But, the flier didn't even rustle.  The only movement was the grinning and head turning of his visage as it looked back up at him from the flier. 

About a half hour ago, Sasha had received an invitation from the Healer for a cup of coffee.  The woman was still unsettlingly strange but a decent cup of coffee was hard to come by at Hogwarts.  And, she had informed him that she'd been considering weaning Gelar in the not too distant future and wanted to get his help.  That was probably largely fictitious.  Sasha doubted the woman really needed his help with that.  This was probably one of those exercises that was intended to keep Sasha distracted and buys. 

But, it was an exercise that involved the mare and the unicorn foal - a very promising strategy.

He'd not expected on of those damned fliers to have found their way down here.  Knowing he stood very little chance of getting the thing off, he'd walked by it at first, ignoring it.  But, after a few strides, he'd stopped and gone back.  Once there, he drew his wand and squared off with the poster.  It felt a little strange, at first, dueling with a defenseless replication of your own face but that feeling had passed quickly.  He'd long hated that awful goofy grin that peered up at him from each of those posters. 

Perhaps it was wishful thinking.  Or just seeing what he was hoping to see. But, it felt like things were going better with that wand.  Rowan and phoenix feather - 9 1/4 inches.  So Sasha had learned the first day he'd visited the Ministry back in March.  Finally, after four years, his wand had an identity.  It seemed to be working a little easier - not as easily as either of his chosen wands and certainly not nearly as easy as the one from his family's killer. 

"You could try to put a color charm over it to match the fence?"

Sasha turned around and froze, staring at Eirene.  Despite her suggestions, she was standing there with cautious uncertainty dripping from every aspect of her demeanor.  Her voice trembled - not from embarrassment or infatuated shyness.  Her too? 

Sasha let out a long slow, defeated sigh and dropped his gaze to the ground.  "I - it doesn't matter.  I don't care."  He tucked his wand away, shrugging dismissively. How strange it was.  Two months ago, he was disturbed and weirded out by the girl's crush on him.  Now, there was little he wouldn't give to have that back in place of this.   "Everyone already knows, anyway.  And, they'll think what they want to.  What difference is covering it up going to make?" 

Eirene was relieved when Sasha didn't turn around and hex her. Instead, he turned and spoke in such a defeated tone, that Eirene shivered and tried to pass it off as shivering from the wind. She stared back at him in open confusion and apprehension, unused to an older student talking like that. He always seemed to have everything in place, everything sorted. Plus, he was a Prefect! Wait- that had been taken away from him. But he acted with confidence, Eirene had always thought. Sasha Schalgenweit was the nicest, most responsible person she'd ever met.

And she wasn't supposed to speak to him.

"But..." Eirene took a hesitant step forward. "I'm sure I can fix it!"

That was all they needed to worry about this morning. She didn't know how to handle the Daily Prophet article or the subsequent order from her parents to stay far away from Sasha Schlagenweit. She didn't know how to deal with the idea that his parents had died, and that he had murdered the intruder in their home. She didn't have any clue what to think about Callum putting the posters up in the first place, or the underlying stigma and shunning behind that action, because he was the older brother of one of her close friends. Who was she to question if Callum Knight was right or wrong?

She could, however, figure out how to disguise one poster. That was something she could do.

"See, all we need is-" Eirene cut herself off. She didn't have her Charms textbook. She never had it when she needed it!

"Let's see," she started again, voice still shaky, but optimistic.

There was a simple charm that Eirene knew very well, which involved removing and adding ink. She was the type of person who rewrote her essays at least a few times after finishing them, just to get the handwriting perfect. In doing that, she often siphoned away stray ink spots, and added tiny flourishes to her letters. No dotting her I's with hearts, mind you, but including an impressive little squiggle to the letter 'Q' was her trademark!

Very mindful of Sasha watching her, she straightened into a proper stance and pulled her wand from her coat pocket, clearing her throat loudly and glancing at him twice before trying the spell.

To her delight, the ink began smearing and blending across the page! She was so excited she dropped her wand, picked it up and brushed the snow off of it, and continued her work.

When she got to Sasha's face and the ink smeared across his lovely forehead and gentle eyes, she turned her head to the side and averted her gaze, hating to see the ink mar his features. It had to be done, she told herself firmly, her expression pained.

"See?" Eirene paused and looked at him when she was halfway finished with her project. The traces of fear and uncertainty were gone in her voice, for the moment. "This is working! It'll be covered up in no time."

She could fix it.  This first year could fix it.  Did she really think that was all it was?  That it was that simple?  It wasn't about this poster!  It didn't matter if they took this one down or got it disguised or whatever - there were dozens others that people were walking past. 

The hesitancy in the younger girl was impossible to miss.  She was nervous and uncertain about him.  It would be so easy to confirm her fears and suspicions.  A sharp, harsh comment, a properly timed scowl - it wouldn't take much.  It would be so much easier than 'fixing it.'  And, it would show her, right?  Show her she didn't need to come around just to stare and get a front row seat to the humiliation of the murderer. 

Before his impulsive frustration was able to get the better of him, he was able to remind himself: she was still standing here.  She was offering to help.  Despite her obvious persistent unease. 

"Alright."  He turned back towards the fence, color flooding his face.  Staring at his own grinning face had been easier when someone else wasn't there.  The faster that face was erased from his sight, the better. 

He turned his focus to Eirene and her cast the spell - not to critique her wandwork but because it was easier than watching the ink smear across the page. 

"Thanks," he said, quietly, nodding, sparing the poster a side glance.  Enough damage had been done to the poster to make it, largely, unrecognizable.  He let out a long, deep sigh and, turned back to the poster.  "We could just throw a bottle of ink at it." 

"Why are you doing this?" It was probably not the most tactful question but it had been born before he could stop it.  "Most first years seem to be hiding from me.  Aren't you going to get in trouble?"

Eirene beamed at him when he thanked her, pleased that she hadn't accidentally set the poster on fire (though that was technically another way of getting rid of it), that the spell had worked, and that Sasha Schlagenweit seemed grateful to her. To her! She loved it when she could fix things and show off at the same time.

She was puzzling over his comment about a bottle of ink when he suddenly asked her why she doing this. Reality came crashing back and her face fell. Her parents were going to be so disappointed! Even if they didn't find out, she'd know she had disobeyed them, and that was enough to eat away at her like one of those muggle cannibals Noriko believed in. She twirled her wand in her hands nervously and glanced around to check if anyone was watching them. The only way she could pass this meeting off as harmless was if she left right now, and had only stopped to help, not to talk.

"I can't get in trouble for helping!" Her voice went higher with nerves. "I was only doing the proper thing because everyone knows these posters deface school property and that's against the rules."

Eirene looked away from Sasha again, trying to convince herself to leave. "Also, they're plain mean."

Were they true, though? The unspoken question hung in the air between them.

Once enough of the picture had been obscured to effectively hide the fact it was his own image staring back up at him, Sasha was able to turn his full attention to appreciating the girl's magic.  For a moment, the strength of the girls' enthusiasm drowned out much of the older Ravenclaw's anxiety and frustration.  That smile was, admittedly, cute.  In a platonic, little sister kind of way.  Of course. 

"That was pretty good," he admitted, nodding.  "Better than I could do as a first year."  It was the truth - even if there were distinct reasons for the truth.  "I didn't have a wand that had chosen me so we weren't really getting along."  His first year had been difficult in so many aspects - including his own struggles with his wand. 

But, then, her tone and complete demeanor changed.  She grew noticeably nervous, checking over her shoulder and fidgeting with her wand.  This was great.  Just great.  He could insight terror in a first who, a few months ago was drawing little pink hearts around his name.  Such a great feeling. 

With a frustrated, defeated sigh, Sasha ran a hand down his face and shook his head.  "I - ja - defacing school property."  He murmured as he shook his head again, turning to walk away.  He didn't want to hear it - didn't want to see the distrust. 

He'd made it two steps before he heard her last comment.  They're plain mean.  He paused and glanced back.  He hated them - hated them.  He was tired of every detail of his life becoming a public affair.  He'd never realized how nice anonymity was until he'd lost it. 

He heard the unspoken question, loud and clear.  But, what was he supposed to say?  And would she even believe him?  "You think I'm a murderer."  His nose wrinkled on the last word as if saying it left a horrible taste in his mouth.  To be honest, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.  Before she had an opportunity to offer it up, Sasha shook his head and turned again.  "I've got to go check on the horse." 

When Sasha started walking away, Eirene realized that she should have felt relieved. He was already solving the problem for her by being the first to break off communication.

But the way it was happening, with him looking so defeated and telling her she thought he was a murderer, made her stomach seize up with guilt. He'd seemed so normal a few moments ago, and had even complimented her by saying that she'd done better than he could have as a first year. Eirene reasoned she must have said something hurtful to cause the sudden change in his behavior. She didn't realize how skittish and nervous she was acting.

"Sorry!" Eirene suddenly called after him, unsure why she was apologizing or what she had done wrong. Was it the comment about defacing school property? But that was true!

She stepped after him, trailing behind him a few feet and talking to his back.

"I was just trying to be helpful!" Eirene told him, hurt in her voice. "Because it is against the rules! Those posters. You didn't do anything wrong! Callum should get a... a detention!" She glanced around again, as if Aglaia Knight would pop out of the bushes and scold her for that statement.

"I was just trying to help because you always help me," she said more quietly, remembering that time Mairead had pushed her into the lake. Eirene couldn't address the 'possibly a murderer' conundrum when she didn't even know what she thought. She knew what she was supposed to think, and do. Never before had following through with her parent's expectations been so hard!

Part of Sasha wanted to pretend he hadn't heard the apology and keep walking.  It wasn't like he owed her anything.  After all, she'd said it herself: she wasn't helping him.  She was keeping Knight from defacing school property.  She was helping school property. 

Despite his better judgement, though, he did stop.  He kept his back to her, at first, not wanting to reveal how much the comments ... and all of this ... bothered him.  That having that reaction from someone like Eirene just bothered him more.  Knowing, once upon a time, she'd looked up to him. 

But, after hastily brushing his face dry, he did turn back. 

"I wouldn't want you to get in trouble, though."  There was an obvious touch of bitterness to his tone.  "You know.  For being around me." 

Sasha felt a brief surge of guilt and shook his head.  This wasn't fair and he knew it.  In her own way, she was trying - maybe not in the most effective way.  But, then, how would he have handled this kind of situation at her age in her shoes?  "I'm sorry," he said, taking his turn to apologize.  He closed his eyes and sighed, shaking his head.  "I'm just not handling all of this well.  I ... I appreciate the help." 

The unspoken question still hung in the air.  Sasha didn't know if answering it would help or hurt the situation but he had a feeling if it was left unanswered, it'd just fester.  In the end, it'd speed up the whole process of Eirene deciding whether she was afraid of him or not.

"The man broke into my home and had killed our housekeeper and my parents and sister by the time he broke down my bedroom door.  I cast the first spell that came to mind when I got his wand.  If that makes me a murderer, so be it.  People can think what they have to."

Sasha's bitter comment about not wanting her to get into trouble made her freeze, and then look down guiltily. He'd never talked to her like that before, and it had the same effect on her as it would if one of her parents had scolded her. Worst of all, she knew it was true. Staying out of trouble was one of her main concerns.

Just as she thought about turning and walking away, Sasha apologized. Eirene glanced at his face and was surprised to see how sad and upset he looked. She thought of older students as being close to invincible, as not being bothered by anything, especially not anything from a first-year. Fifth-years didn't cry when they got a Troll, or wonder about who would sit with them at lunch, or worry if their professors liked them, did they?

"You're welcome," she piped up shakily, less out of fear and more from the emotional situation they were both in.

Eirene was willing to let the whole 'murderer' dilemma pass, at least for this morning. She wouldn't mention it again, and everything would be fine as long as no one saw her spending time with Sasha and wrote her parents to let them know.

But then he brought up the topic himself, telling her that the intruder had killed his family, and that the spell he'd cast had been the first one that had popped into his head. Eirene blinked at him for several long moments. She had heard about his kidnapping, and she'd read the article in the Prophet about the murder many times, yet the reality of it hadn't quite sunk in. Eirene couldn't even imagine what she would do if someone killed her family. Those things just didn't happen to good people!

She knew her parents had told her that anyone who could cast that kind of dark magic against another person was not right in the head, and after what she had heard about the fifth-year Defense class, it was much harder to ignore their warnings. She had also entertained daydreams that Sasha was not really a murderer, that it was all a misunderstanding, and the truth could only be revealed by her kind and thoughtful inquiries. They called them daydreams for a reason. But here he was, telling her it was true, and neither of those options (rejecting him outright, or consoling him) fit.

"But," Eirene finally said, looking concerned and confused. "But why did the spell kill him? Why didn't you use something else?"

In her mind, it was a perfectly valid question. However, if he'd turned it around on her and asked her something simple and innocuous, completely unrelated to murder, like why she felt the need to show off in class, she wouldn't have been able to answer. It was just what she did. She did it without thinking. Asking her to analyze and evaluate that behavior wouldn't help her to change it, or change the fact that she'd blown up Noriko's butt to epic proportions. Asking Sasha why he didn't cast Stupefy after finding the dead bodies of his parents was just as unhelpful!

He would be destined to fidget uncontrollably if they just continued to stand there.  You weren't doing anything.  Nothing was changing.  When you were standing still, there wasn't a whole lot to keep your mind and thoughts occupied.  It was the behavioral reflection of the stagnation of the conversation. 

Sasha turned, once more, and began walking but, this time, the motion had been slow and deliberate and accompanied with a slight nod of his head.  An open invitation for the younger Ravenclaw to follow suit.  Whether it was guilt or embarrassment or something else entirely was a moot point.  He couldn't answer her questions while looking at her.  He'd been struggling with the questions enough in his own mind. 

"I didn't think it would," came the overly simple and quiet response.  He hadn't known the spell he was about to cast would end the man's life.  And, he hadn't had time to think.  The man had broken through the bedroom door.  Sasha had been trapped inside.  Baldur had jumped the man and he'd dropped the wand.  "The man that, you know, taught me it didn't actually tell me what it did."  It didn't seem prudent to point out that The Man was Malvivicus.  As a pureblood, it was probably a name Eirene knew all too well.  "He just told to use it when, you know-  That it would keep me safe." 

He shrugged and shook his head.  He didn't have an answer for why he didn't use something else.  Had he known what the spell did, had he known the effects it would have had, Sasha would have tried something else.  But, what would have happened then?  Would the man have just gotten back up and come after Sasha, again? 

"I don't know."  He shook his head and looked down at his hands, picking at a piece of non-existent dirt under his fingernails as he continued to follow the fence line around to the back of the hospital hut.  He took no pride in what he'd done; if he could change history, he would.  But.  He couldn't.  He couldn't change it and it was unlikely he'd forget. 

He did then turn around the question.  But, not with another innocuous question, but rather, the same one.  "What would you have done?"

Eirene walked beside Sasha, listening to him describe what had happened and what Malvivicus had taught him. If this was all true, that meant Sasha wasn't really a murderer, right? She nodded as she accepted this happily. He just had to tell everyone else now! They'd have to believe him. And maybe he could write a note to her parents explaining the circumstances so they'd let her spend time with him again.

Eirene paused. But what if he was... he wouldn't lie to her, she didn't think. Though she couldn't understand why he'd cast a spell if he didn't know what it did. Perhaps Malvivicus had brainwashed him- was still brainwashing him? She glanced at him warily, suddenly worried that her parents were right and he was dangerous, whether he meant to be or not.

When he turned the question on her, she looked taken aback.

"Me?" Her voice rose in a squeak. She had a hard enough time trying to imagine Sasha's family dying, let alone her own. There was just no point in considering a situation that hadn't happened to her, and would never happen to her, she told herself.

However, she looked at Sasha again, saw him picking at his fingernails, and decided to try. Acting like this was a classroom setting, Eirene mulled it over for a moment and then straightened her back, eyes lighting up when she thought of a solution. The only thing she didn't do was raise her hand.

"I would have Stupefied him," she declared, then hesitated. She didn't know Stupefy. No matter! "And then I would have..." She would have found her mother or her house elf, and they would have apparated to safety. Wait, no. Her mother would have been... and who knew about the house elf. Sasha probably didn't have a house elf, being from a muggle family.

"I would have sent up red sparks!" Except sparks inside a home didn't do much. And someone would have had to see the sparks to come help. "Well no, I would have used the floo system. But... but you don't have a floo system!"

Eirene stared at him, completely stymied. How did muggles do anything? Maybe he could have sailed somewhere in his car? Or called for help on his television?

"I don't know," she admitted in a small voice. She probably would have been killed. That's what would have happened.

A few paces down the fenceline, Eirene seemed to stop.  Sasha paused, himself, turning back towards her.  She wore an uncertain, suspicious expression on her face.  Was she having second thoughts?  About him?  About his story?  But ... how could she?  It had been in the Prophet - though, the Prophet had put a questionable spin to it. 

His reversed question clearly made the girl uncomfortable - which Sasha could understand.  That understanding made him feel slightly guilty.  It certainly wasn't his intention to scare her (even though he seemed to be doing that well enough without asking any uncomfortable questions.  But, if people were going to continue to judge him - continue to point fingers at him for his actions - it seemed the least they could do is to just try to imagine what it would have been like.  If they couldn't do that, how could they point fingers for what he'd done?

"I didn't have a wand at first," Sasha admitted with an awkward shrug.  Had he had the distance, had he had the luxury of firing the moment the door had been opened, he might have.  But, then, he might have tried to stupify the intruder when the man had first arrived.  And, again, red sparks required a wand. 

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, his breath shaking slightly in his chest.  All these people that were pointing fingers and making assumptions - they had no idea.  No idea what it was like!  Knight - he could stand there all he want, calling a Sasha a murderer.  What would he have done differently? 

"My parents had taken it and destroyed it.  I'd had to grab his wand from him.  He was already getting up again; I'd just grabbed his wand and was ... I did the first thing that came to mind.  I don't know."  It was a lame conclusion.  He knew that but he wasn't sure if there really was a good conclusion. 

But, there really wasn't any more he could say.  He couldn't fault her if it wasn't enough.  There wasn't really anything more he could do, though.  "I've got to check on the horse," he offered with a shrug.  "I'm sorry." 

Learning that Sasha had used the intruder's wand because his parents had destroyed his own, only caused Eirene's bafflement to increase. What kind of parents destroyed a kid's wand? That seemed so cruel!

This also led her to wonder if the reason the spell had killed the intruder was because Sasha had never used that wand before, so he didn't know how powerful it was. Eirene sometimes had problems with getting simple spells to react in a positive way rather than blowing up in her face (literally). However, that was mostly due to her young age and having just started learning how to control her magic. Sasha had been a wizard at Hogwarts for five years!

Eirene nodded, still looking confused when Sasha told her he had to check on the horse. A part of Eirene wanted to tag along with him and to pretend that nothing had changed, and that she saw him as this impressive, heroic prefect like she had at the beginning of the school year. Yet... Sasha seemed just as human and uncertain as any other student now. Eirene didn't know how to be friendly towards someone that others called a murderer, and one that even her parents told her to avoid.

"I'm going to go back to the castle?" Eirene piped up, as if asking for permission. "I have lots of studying to do. I have to get to the library and make sure I have a seat before someone else takes it."

Lies, lies, lies. She supposed she could study, but she certainly didn't have to today.

Glancing at him guiltily, Eirene turned. "I will see you in the common room later! And at meals!"

She wouldn't run out of the common room anymore whenever he appeared, or scoot down the table in the Great Hall to get farther away from him. These were all little things she'd been doing since the article in the Prophet. However, Eirene wouldn't make a huge effort to talk to him either, especially when others were watching. She likely wouldn't attend any more muggle club meetings, or tell people to stop staying bad things about him.

It was a compromise that should have made her happy, but as she walked away from him, she just felt more and more conflicted.