Eleven PM

The last week had gone by in a blur. Gabby had been avoiding most people. It was quite out of character for the young Gryffindor who along with her best friend could be the life of any party. They both seeked attention and 9 times out of ten got it. But for the week that had just passed, Gabriella hadn’t really wanted any attention. She’d just wanted to fade into the background and get through it.

The whole Christmas had been spent thinking of everything other than her mother. She’d stopped with Sophie, distracting herself the entire time and lying to her father. But that had backfired after her trip to Bannochdaen Castle. Apparently retired aurors could tell when someone was lying and it really wasn’t that hard. He’d gone behind her back and told her father about her presence at the castle and before she knew it, he’d turned up at the castle demanding to drag her home.

That had left Gabby angry at two men. Firstly MacDonell for grassing her up. One man who she’d believed she could trust due to his friendship with her mother had turned out another dud. She’d not written him a letter since. The second man was the one she was usually angry with. Felix Dagon. Crap father extraordinaire. He’d lost it with her. Throwing his toys out of the cot once more. Tantrums coming from men in their 30s were so pathetic. She’d told him that, taking the repercussions.

Now, on reflection, Gabriella felt guilty. Christmas was as hard for her and Felix as sitting still and being quiet was for Sophie Flitwick. More so. A lot more so. And Gabriella, despite their differences, should have been there to spend it with her dad. Despite his actions last year, despite his rudeness and completely non-festive spirit. Gabriella had abandoned her father and she shouldn’t have done that. What would Kayleigh have said if she found out? Gabby didn’t want to know.

She just wanted her mother right now to tell her it was ok and her Dad would stop being mad at her soon. She wanted a mum there to hug her and just whisper comforting words in her ear. It wasn’t going to happen; Gabby had to get over it.

But being at Hogwarts made her feel closer to her mum. Kayleigh had spent a huge portion of her life in these hallowed halls and nearly as much of that time causing trouble and riling the other inhabitants of the castle. She’d heard stories. One of them made her smirk the most. Kayleigh and her best friend trying to outwit some auror that thought he was boss. Miss Snark had told her about this one.

This story was what had led the young Gryffindor girl outside to the edge of the forest carrying a large thick blanket and a photoalbum. She was presently sat on the cold muddy ground with the blanket wrapped around her. School uniform really didn’t keep one very warm and Gabriella was beginning to feel each individual goose bumps appear on her skin. It was freezing yet her gloved hands continued to leaf through the photo album she’d stolen from her Dad’s study room.

Gabby felt saddened as she stared down at a photo of her dark haired, tanned mum grinning back up her proudly, sporting a bright set of scarlet auror’s robes over trousers and a shirt and the newly earned golden auror badge. Her mum looked so proud. She wouldn’t now if she could see Gabby. The former auror’s daughter was so different. So… Gabriella ran a finger over the photo, feeling tears begin to well up in her eyes. This was so unfair.

Being back at school was good, Sophie decided. She was so busy with classes and catching up with people it was equally easy to avoid thinking about Devlin and seeing Fauna. Watching Matteo and Chance fawn over her on New Years had been hard for the petite Gryffindor and she had decided, upon returning to Scotland, that none of them deserved further thought. She also hadn’t bothered to give Quinn as second look - despite hateful glares that she received on a regular basis. She was done, and that was the thing Sophie hadn’t ever known about herself - she could really just walk away. She wasn’t sure how this made her feel. On one hand it was liberating to know that she could be angry and she could make choices… on the other she was kind of sad that she was like everyone else, that there was a breaking point and she would give up on people without looking back. It was kind of a catch twenty-two.

One person she refused to give up on though was Gabby. The girl had been distant since leaving New Years Day - and while some might think that Sophie had been too preoccupied with herself to pay attention to her best friend that simply wasn’t the case at all. Gabby needed space to sort out whatever it was she was going through. She needed time to think - and when the time was right Sophie always knew when to find her. Which was the exact reason that the tiny girl was picking her way along quiet corridors trying not to get caught by lurking prefects or professors. Gabby hadn’t been in the mood for giggles or gossip since they got back but when she didn’t even bother to show up for lights out Sophie knew it was time.

There was only one place she would be - which gave Sophie the heebies but she knew that she needed to go. Despite all her braveness - stupidity as some might call it, Sophie didn’t like the dark and she didn’t like being out at night by herself. To get to the edge of the forest without getting caught she couldn’t use her wand to light her way - which meant she had to rely on the moon. When there was a group of them going and doing this she could be the ringleader, boisterous and silly - by herself she felt small and cautious. She was better at being brave for other people than for herself most of the time. Still, she could do it, she knew she could. She had before.

Once out of the castle she made a beeline for Gabriella’s favorite spot. It was a little grove at the edge of the Forbidden Forest and Sophie could have probably found it with her eye closed - though she would never try because that was just broken bones waiting to happen. When she saw the outline of her friends head she breathed a soft sigh of relief - for a moment she had worried she would be wrong and the other girl wouldn’t be there. Even from a distance Sophie could see the way the weight of whatever Gabby was feeling pulled her down. Making enough noise to be heard but hopefully not spook the other girl, she approached, her voice a his singly loud  whisper, “Gabriella Dagon if you get me expelled  the first week back from Christmas, Mum will kill us both”.

The noises brought the messy haired Gryffindor out of her trance staring at the pictures and alerted her to the darkness around. The tiny lantern she had beside her only spread light so far and it definitely didn’t expand into the forest around her. That would only draw attention. Gabriella had been here before. Many times before. She knew how dangerous it was. Stories told her that. And if she ever got caught? Well they’d send her to the headmistress. Who would no doubt play favourites and let her off with a “Don’t do it again, Gabby”. No harm there.

But the noise made Gabriella’s head shoot up as she stared around, wide eyes for an explanation for it. A gloved hand reached into her robe pocket for her wand and that was now out, ready to attempt to fight off any dangers.

“Gabriella Dagon if you get me expelled  the first week back from Christmas, Mum will kill us both”

A sigh of relief came from the young well wrapped up girl as her friend’s voice pierced the night’s silence and her face soon flashed in the light. Gabby lowered her wand and frowned. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that, Sophie. I could have killed you.” An overreaction, but Gabby was a drama queen after all.

“We won’t be expelled. I have the highest up contact a student can in this school. Remember?” Of course Sophie would remember. That was the reason Gabby refused to join SAWS. That was the reason Sophie still pestered her about it.

Gabriella frowned and looked back down at the picture. The photograph was about 13 years old or so. When Gabby had only been small. Her her mum still looked so young. Very early 20s. The woman’s messy dark hair had been scraped back into a loose ponytail, leaving her tanned face free for the camera to catch. She was grinning, practically beaming as she grinned up from the page in her crisp new robes. Next to her stood her close friend and comrade Jason MacDonell. It was evident the woman in the picture was trying to remain professional, her stance that of a proficiently trained auror, ready for duty. But the woman often let all appearances go and gave her comrade a hug as if to thank him. It seemed the picture of perfection. The only thing that could make it more perfect was if the dark haired pretty woman wasn’t just a picture. If she was standing directly in front of Gabriella wearing those scarlet robes, her arms open for embrace to rival her grandma’s.

But she wasn’t. Kayleigh Cox was now just a picture. A picture that had been given to Gabby by Kayleigh’s comrade and stuck inside Gabby’s scrapbook of pictures and things she’d found from her mum. Things her father would hopefully not miss. The large book everything sat in front of her stolen years ago from her dad. He’d never asked about its whereabouts. He obviously never looked through pictures. Didn’t care. That didn’t surprise Gabby.

Sophie was freezing. Her jacket wasn’t nearly heavy enough to keep her warm from the winter cold and damp. She also wasn’t wearing gloves or a hat. Thoughts of her own comfort went by the wayside as Gabby’s face came into view. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, hair mussed, eyes red and swollen. Without a second thought about being expelled she dropped to Gabby’s side and wrapped her arms around the other girl. She didn’t know if that’s what Gabs wanted, but she knew instinctively it was what she needed. Sophie was of the opinion that Gabby didn’t get hugged nearly enough. Mr. Dagon was nice enough, he certainly never abused her… but he was neglectful. Spending time at the ranch with the other girl had showed her that. It always made Sophie grateful that her parents were attentive. Hugs were never in short supply at the Flickwick house.

Even at fifteen it wasn’t uncommon for Sophie to curl up in bed with her mother after a bad vision, or to fall asleep while Nana was telling her a story about the old country. Gabby didn’t have the physical comfort having a mother afforded most people - which was why Sophie never held back when it came to being physically affectionate with the other girl. She was affectionate with most people, it was true, but she was aware of how often she hugged Gabby and in her own way tried to make sure the other girl knew she was loved. She had noticed that Ruby and Ramona did the same thing with her fellow fifth year - Mona especially did motherly things for the other girl, as much as she could without stepping on Felix’s toes anyway.

Running her fingers through the other girls hair, she rested he chin on Gabby’s shoulder, “I was worried when you weren’t there for lights out. I lied for you - so if anyone asks you were having a heavy monthly and were on your way to the hospital hut,” she tried to keep her voice light as she tickled the other girls side playfully. She wouldn’t push Gabby to tell her what was wrong, but she knew that they needed to talk about it. There was a distance between them now that Sophie didn’t like. She wanted to help in whatever way she could - but it was hard knowing how that would be since Gabby wasn’t telling her anything. Pulling back she wiped the other girl’s cheek with her thumb and bit her lip, trying to read her face in the dark.

Despite it being a regular occurrence between the two young Gryffindors, Gabriella hadn’t expected the hug. She never did. She wasn’t accustomed to such consistent displays of affection over the past few weeks. Sophie was always there of course, but this Christmas it had been her family taking her into their arms, suffocating her in some sort of weird ass cult of love and adoration. That was no family. That was a Merlin worshiping faction all out to compete over the amounts of love they could doll out. It was scary. Overpoweringly scary. That had already been overly sufficient for a young girl whose father’s form of affection was giving her an extra slice of bacon on her sandwich in the morning (she didn’t wish to point out that Merlin the dog would have appreciated that more and perhaps a hug was more worthwhile from the stone hearted male). At the MacDonell’s Jason’s wife had thrown her arms around Gabby, encasing the young girl in some sort of strange affection. Really, sometimes it was too much. Thanks to her lack of such strange bodily contact, Gabriella didn’t see the great amazing point in it with the exception of consoling her when upset.

Therefore now was the perfect time to be enveloped in the cultish warmth if another witch’s arms. This meant that the young Miss Dagon buried her face into Sophie’s shoulder while trying to control any of the remaining tears that were fighting so hard to escape. They couldn’t now. Not now someone was there. Crying was apparently weak. According to Felix you weren’t supposed to do it when alone let alone around people. She wasn’t supposed to burden other people with her unhelpful; emotions.

What a horrific cover story! Sophie may as well have told everyone in the dorm that Gabby had wet herself and was heading to the hospital hut for a potion to strengthen her bladder. Gabriella’s head shot up to allow the sore red eyes to stare in disbelief at Sophie before the girl tickled her side. Gabby let out a small yelp and batted her friend’s hand away.

“You could have used a better cover, Soph.” Gabby muttered, pulling the blanket back up to cover her up and offering some to her friend who was obviously staying for a bit. Not that Gabby fancied doing much talking right then.

Gabby frowned as Sophie wiped her red cheek. The young girl always showed tenderness when it was needed. How did she know when to? How did she know to come and see her friend when Gabby had distanced herself for long enough? It was weird how she could just ‘know’. Maybe it was that seer thing Sophie had going on.

“Did you come out here just to demand your class notes back ‘cus they’re in my trunk in the dorm?”

Gabby made Sophie’s heart hurt. She seemed so lost and hurt - and what was worse the only  thing Sophie could do was sit there and love her. She couldn’t give Gabby a mother, she couldn’t make Felix be a better father. All she could do was be there and hope that was enough. She worried sometimes that it wasn’t, that Gabby was only ever acting like she was happy. Stroking the other girl’s dark curls she rested her cheek against her temple cuddled close under the blanket. She would sit there on the ground until her bottom was soaked and she caught a deadly chill if it would make things better. She’d dutifully go to detention and any other punishment Head Mistress Snark could come up with.

Laughing she bumped heads with the other girl’s and shrugged, “I was thinking on my toes! No one ever asks questions when it has to do with womanly problems. Nana taught me that. S’very useful trick, you should be thanking me,” she grinned, again wiping at Gabby’s cheek with her thumb. Maybe if she could get her to laugh things would seem better. Of course given the deep frown Gabby gave her that probably wasn’t the best frown. She just didn’t know what else to do. If Sophie had known that people thought she just “knew” things she’d have laughed at them. Sophie didn’t know anything - and as of late she spent as much time confused by her own behavior as everyone else. She just wanted to make things better.

The problem was there was no way to really make things better or anyone. All she could do was be there. She tried to do for others what she’d have wanted them to do for her. She let Gabby bristle but kept her arm around the other girl anyway. Scoffing softly she rolled her eyes, “Right because I am completely the sort of person who gives a Hippogryff’s huff about getting notes back. I’d totally risk detention and a lengthy lecture from Snark for the sake of doodles and a half written letter to my Mum with some dates about whatever the devil it was Austerlitz decided to break desks over,” pausing she tilted Gabby’s chin up, “Could you just let someone be nice to you for a minute Gab? I’m here because I’m worried”.

Gabriella’s eyebrows rose as she glanced across at her friend. The friend that had told at least 5 or more people the goings on within her teenaged body. If Gabriella hadn’t been so uspset right now she would have been mortified and embarrassed. You didn’t tell people such things! You hid them away never to talk of them. Sophie no doubt talked about such private things with her female family, Gabriella didn’t. That was plain weird. She pursed her lips and wiped her eyes before looking away. Best not going into any more detail about the interesting...excuse.

The arm didn’t feel comforting and this particular moment in time. It felt...overwhleming. It felt like it was caging her in. Sympathy wasn’t something she needed. Worry wasn’t something she needed. She just needed time alone with her pictures and her mum’s words. Silent time. No one there, no one requiring her attention. No one trying to make her feel ‘better’. What could they do? Give her what she was missing? Sophie being here only amplified what she was missing. Sophie who’s kind gestures and loving personality only made her feel worse right now. Gabriella bit her lip and looked away.

“I don’t need anyone worrying about me, Sophie. I can handle this by myself. I always have done.” That was a lie. Her friend had always been there when needed. Kind words and a kind, warm embrace. Someone to tell her it was alright. But it wasn’t. Her stubborn attitude and anger had started to push her only parent away and all she could do was sit here and cry. She was too stubborn to write her father a letter apologising and telling him she’d be back for Easter. Back to spend time with him to make up for the lost weeks.

Taking a deep breath, Gabs looked down at her hands. “I don’t want you to be nice to me, Sophie. I don’t deserve it right now.” She pulled away and wrapped the blanket tighter around her slim body. “I shouldn’t have stopped with you this Christmas.”