Well, he was still alive. Clearly luck was on his side, Johann reasoned with himself. He had arrived very suddenly in Britain, Hogsmeade more precisely, late on Sunday night. An entirely unplanned trip, decided in a split second, after not so cleverly sabotaging a local criminal, who then sent a couple of beefy characters over to visit Johann. He had bolted from his abode, and decided to flee quite a distance. A few hundred miles at least.

Fortunate enough for Johann, his cousin (though twice his age) was gainfully employed by the world respected Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as no other than the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. In a bit of a state (though he berated himself about it now) his cousin, Ignan, had given him a bed for the night within the castle, with marching orders straight away after. It hadn't entirely happened, so he'd spent an awkward night overstaying the extremely brief hospitality of his only family member in the country.

However, yesterday had allowed him time to scope out the possibility of finding gainful employment, and lodgings, and continuing living and not being crucioed by a vengeful former client. The British Ministry seemed a perfect place. He'd never officially been employed full time for the one in Germany, though his cousin had been employed with both decades back, and had been the one to suggest it would be a suitably varied and stable profession for him, given his potential long term stay in Britain now.

A fact finding mission on the Monday had prepared him for a full attack this morning. After descending via a telephone box, and presenting his wand to the visitor's desk for examination, he was heading towards the lifts as directed by the welcome witch. She looked like she might have had a restless night...

The great atrium of the Ministry was bustling with people, all going about their business. Johann caught snippets of conversation and all manner of accents from around Britain, and further afield. He made his way towards the far end of the vast space where the lifts were behind golden grilles. As he paused to wait, he found himself behind two tall wizards with weathered skin. One was berating an incident with his wife the previous evening. As the lift opened and emptied before them, he followed them in, glancing at the other faces in the tiny lift. You'd have thought they might have expanded it, Johann thought as the grilles rattled shut.

The wizard continued his conversation with his colleague, about how he'd argued with his wife, raising his voice a little over the rattling of chains above them. Despite this wizard's explanation that he had won the argument, it was clear from his choice of language, and the expression on his companion's face, that the wife rather wore the trousers in that marriage, and the creases in his robes indicated he had perhaps spent the night in them - possibly banished from the marital bed.

"Level Seven, Department of Magical Games and Sports, incorporating the British and Irish Quidditch League Headquaters, Official Gobstones Club and Ludicrous Patents Office." A female voice spoke cleanly over them all, and the two wizards in conversation stepped out into a corridor full of posters and notices. Johann smiled to himself and shook his head.

"That would be just right." He announced, out loud, to the other occupants of the lift. The grilles clattered shut.
"Its clear he spent more time sleeping on the sofa than he did winning any argument with his wife. The things people do to save face." He smiled and turned partly to regard the others in the lift, but it appeared they did not share his glee. Instead any response that might have come was masked by the rattling of chains stopping with a groan that sounded like a dragon with stomach ache. The lift shuddered, and came to a halt.

After a few seconds, Johann tried again.
"I would deduce the lift does not ordinarily make that less than reassuring sound?" He asked his companions, with an edge of apprehension to his voice.

He had finally just given up and gone home late the night before.  Whoever their hell-cursed monster was, he had evidently finally figured out the concept of 'lying low' once the moon had passed, though Kurby was not impressed that it had taken the sodding bastard three full months to reach that epiphany.  To find him, they were clearly going to need to hunt him.  That meant leads to run down and trails to follow, which seemed to be getting them east of fecking nowhere so far.  No doubt Mainwaring would come up with some brilliant waste of a plan to turn things around, but as most plans seemed to involve Kurby personally walking into somewhere ridiculous to crack heads together, the younger wizard had decided that since they weren't getting anywhere fast, he'd rather put off risking his life again until after he managed a bit of rest.

The sleep itself had felt grand.  He had passed out almost as soon as he'd gotten back to his cramped flat and hadn't woken up again until the morning sun had hit through the window.  By the time he'd apparated back to the Ministry, Kurby felt decidedly more human.  A change of clothes, a few hours' rest, and their fearless leader could have decided that the next step in their search was to walk wandless and blindfolded into a nest of Runespoor-basilisk hybrids for all that he cared. 

The Atrium, as usual, abounded with activity.  Kurby ignored the Welcome Witch, intentionally walked through at least three different conversations, and made his way over to the wall to catch a lift up to Level Four.  The quicker he got back to the office, the quicker they could get on with this mess.

Unfortunately, if he had noticed who else was waiting by the door to the next lift before he reached it, he would have taken the stairs.  The babbling idiots from the Gobstones Club were bad enough - Kurby considered deliberately bumping into them just to see what he could get them to drop - but this was not a day when he wanted to listen to Yoona Yoo.  Leaving would have meant ceding territory to the sanctimonious translator, so he settled for just glaring at her.  Let her try and start a fight two sodding days after the full moon.

The lift had come and the crowd had piled on.  Kurby had managed to maneuver his way into the corner, which gave him the perfect vantage point to continue to darkly eye Yoo.  He found himself almost wishing that the irritatingly idiotic woman would start something, but just as he was mentally running down the list of obnoxious comments he could make to try and set her off, the lift had stopped on Level Seven to let off the Gobstones nutters, and the other passenger, whom Kurby did not recognize, chose that exact moment to make what he clearly thought was a witty comment about failed sleeping arrangements.

Apparently the monthly ritual of nearly getting killed by werewolves and dark wizards wasn't enough.  No, hell was ending up in an enclosed space with some stupid pillock who decided to try and start a conversation.

Kurby had turned his glare from Yoo to the newcomer, and had just been about to open his mouth to tell him what else he might want to do with his face, when there was a great shuddering of chains.  The lift jerked to a halt.  Kurby froze, his eyes flickering upwards, as he strained to listen for any sort of sounds.

Hell.  He hated January.  If it wasn't a post-Christmas rash of werewolves, it was the Merlin-cursed Magical Maintenance staff deciding to vent their displeasure over their meager holiday bonus.

The newcomer, whoever he was, clearly thought he was brilliant despite their predicament.  "I would deduce the lift does not ordinarily make that less than reassuring sound?"

For the briefest of moments, Kurby considered hitting him.  "No, normally a rattling like that just means something's come loose in your head," he snapped, turning his glare from the lift's ceiling back to the other man.  He didn't need this.  Not today.  Not in the same lift as Yoo.  He needed to get back to the office, so that the squad could prance off on whatever mad quest was destined to get them nowhere next. 

"What do you bleedin' think it 'ordinarily sounds like?'" he mimicked irritably, exaggerating the man's accent.  Pulling out his wand, he stepped forward, heedless as to whether or not he bumped into either of the other inhabitants of the lift as he moved to examine the grill.  "Go on and deduce it now.  We'll wait."

"No, normally a rattling like that just means something's come loose in your head. What do you bleedin' think it 'ordinarily sounds like?'"

What an eloquent man, Johann thought in response to the sudden outburst from the stranger. Perhaps he didn't like enclosed spaces, though from the dark circles beneath his eyes, it appeared more likely to be lack of sleep and overworking. The irritated wizard pulled out his wand and stepped towards the grille.
"Go on and deduce it now.  We'll wait."

Johann stepped to the side as nimbly as he could, but no doubt it looked like he was more scared the grumpy wizard was going to try and hex his nose off. He was rather fond of his nose, and most of his other features, even if he didn't pay them all regular and equal attention.

"Regrettably I have no definitive background in magical mechanics, so you wait would be entirely inefficient." He told the irritated wizard now peering at the grille. He supposed this one didn't either, and looking around the lift and its occupants, did not see a likely candidate amongst them either.

"With any luck, we'll be on our way again very soon." He added quietly, but hopefully, still a little rattled by the way the other wizard had drawn his wand so swiftly, and the assumption he was going to use it to vent his irritation.

Yoona's outfit

She could make it.  She had endured worse pains than this.  She was strong.  She could get over this.  At least, that's what Yoona kept telling herself when she entered the Ministry.  This wasn't the first time Yoona had come to work after having a fairly long night out, but last night had been a bit rough... even for Yoona.  She had been invited out for drinks with her friends, which was no big deal initially, until that new club that opened up recently (Sissy's? Sassy's?... oh well) was mentioned.  Although Yoona knew better, she was never one to turn down a good time, yet she had promised herself she would not stay more than two hours. Well, about four hours after she had made that promise, Yoona found her self stumbling through the door to her apartment.  She was only able to get four hours of sleep before having to get up again, and the new day had decided to great her with a bit of a nasty headache.

Yoona stepped into one of the lifts, sighed, and put a hand to her head.  Yoona, neo babo eemneedah!  She was going to have to endure this until it wore off.  Translating was not hard at all, but having a headache did cause a hindrance.  Especially if she was using Japanese.  She was still working on her Japanese, which meant that she had to focus.  A mistranslation in a letter that was to be sent abroad could be a disastrous thing.  Yoona closed her eyes and mentally crossed her fingers, praying quietly that she would only have to work with Korean today.

When her eyes opened, she was reluctantly greeted with the sight of Kurby Bagnold...  Yoona rolled her eyes.  Great!  Yoona couldn't stand to be in the same room, let alone lift, with this guy.  Not only was he physically an eyesore, he knew exactly how to rub her the wrong way.  The two had rarely had an encounter that didn't end up in a fight.  Today didn't seem like any exception, either.  Bagnold kept staring maliciously at her.  Rather than stare back, Yoona crossed her arms, tossed her hair, and busied herself by glancing around at the other people inside the lift.  They were much more pleasing to her eyes than Bagnold.

There was some conversation between two of the lift's occupants, though Yoona was too caught up in ignoring Bagnold to really catch what their conversation was about.  Something about a fight with his wife... and who had more power in the relationship...  They exited the lift before Yoona could give the guy her golden advice - never piss a woman off.  But, just as well, she didn't quite feel like starting anything anyway.

That's when the lift made a startling noise and came to a halt. 

"I would deduce the lift does not ordinarily make that less than reassuring sound?"

"No, normally a rattling like that just means something's come loose in your head....What do you bleedin' think it 'ordinarily sounds like?'"

And there Bagnold went, spouting off insults the instant he opened his mouth.  How despicable!  Who did he think he was insulting a stranger like that?!   With manners like that, Yoona could only assume he was raised by a pack of wild warthogs. 

"Calm down, Bagnold, and for the love of Merlin keep your mouth shut.  You're just going to make things wore for everyone,"  Yoona stated coldly as she leaned casually against the side of the lift.  No, she didn't like being trapped in this damned thing any more than either of the men seemed to, but she knew throwing a fit wasn't going to solve anything.  "I'm sure someone will notice the situation and come to our rescue soon."

Hell was definitely enclosed spaces.  Kurby didn't bother to stop himself from rolling his eyes as he tried to squint up through the grill.  He knew absolutely nothing about magical mechanics - it was a waste of time, which was why they paid someone else to do it - but the idea of spending any longer than he had to inside this tiny space with two immensely irritating individuals made him squirm.

He cast a careful glance back across the cabin just in case, warily observant for any suspicious shadows, but there weren't any.  Magical failure, then.  Grand.

"Well, if that's all that needs doing, Professor," he replied icily, squinting back up through the grill.  Sticking a wand into an unknown space and poking around with it was never a good idea, but if the alternative was being stuck in here with a bunch of idiots for the next fifteen minutes, he was willing to take the risk.  "It's grand that you're here with us to let us know.  I hate to think how we'd all panic otherwise."

Yoo unfortunately chose that moment to open her mouth.  Kurby shot her a vicious look, even as he stood on his toes and stuck his wand arm up through a crack in the grill, reaching as far as he could.

"Yeah, because that always turns out so well now," he snapped, using the tip of the wand to feel for something, anything that was out of place.  Wood touched metal, and something flared, sending down a shower of sparks.  He had no idea if that was supposed to happen or not, so he kept prodding.  "Is it that hard to believe that some of us actually have places to be, Yoo?  If you want to get fallen on by some werewolf because I couldn't bleedin' well make it to a meeting on time, then be my guest."

"Well, if that's all that needs doing, Professor," The irritable young man stuck his wand into the side of the lift beside the grille. "It's grand that you're here with us to let us know.  I hate to think how we'd all panic otherwise."

Johann raised an eyebrow in response, deciding not to rise to the bait. Clearly someone had not had their required coffee to get over their hangover. This would make for more interesting and varied conversation on the way into work each morning for sure - if he could persuade them to employ him. Pity he couldn't translate his way out of a stuck lift.

"Calm down, Bagnold, and for the love of Merlin keep your mouth shut.  You're just going to make things worse for everyone, I'm sure someone will notice the situation and come to our rescue soon."

The witch leaning against the side of the lift identified the irritated wizard without Johann needing to ask his name. She seemed quite contented to wait a while, whereas the newly identified Bagnold did not.

"Yeah, because that always turns out so well now," Bagnold snapped, still prodding, sending a shower of sparks out, which did not deter him. "Is it that hard to believe that some of us actually have places to be, Yoo?  If you want to get fallen on by some werewolf because I couldn't bleedin' well make it to a meeting on time, then be my guest."

Johann was amused it took no effort on his part to now identify either of the strangers in the lift. Bagnold must work with werewolves, and by the look of Yoo, she must work nearby, perhaps not in the same department. He'd take a guess at a more international post, only it didn't pay off to assume stereotypes.

"I'm sure being detained in a cage dangling by magically fortified chains, which have decided to cease their workings is a perfectly reasonable excuse for being late." Johann spoke quietly, smiling politely. "Is there no way of raising the alert rather than trying to fix it yourself?" He asked Bagnold tentatively. Being a visitor, he had little to go on about the usual workings of the system, or those who maintained it. Whether his two unfortunate companions would notice the petite pin on his coat lapel the Ministry had deposited for him in the reject coin slot of the telephone box, he wasn't sure.

Turning to Yoo, he raised both eyebrows mischievously.
"Werewolves fall on you often?" He asked her, referencing Bagnold's retort.

"Yeah, because that always turns out so well now....Is it that hard to believe that some of us actually have places to be, Yoo?  If you want to get fallen on by some werewolf because I couldn't bleedin' well make it to a meeting on time, then be my guest."

Yoona rolled her eyes.  Well of course.  Leave it to Kurby Bagnold to think it was his responsibility to capture all the werewolves.  Leave it to him to think he was the only one capable of doing so.  What, so were  the rest of the unit just there to sit and look busy?  All these 'Mr. Macho' personality-types were scumbags...  And they wondered why they were never able to get girlfriends....  Because obviously it wasn't their fault.  Ugh, so stupid.

"What makes you think I can't handle myself, huh?  I'm plenty capable, thank you."  She tossed her hair confidently, giving the man a cold glare.  Just because she might be shorter than him and not as physically strong didn't mean that she would be helpless against a werewolf.  She had two older brothers and playing with them as a kid taught her all the tricks she would ever need to know. 

"Werewolves fall on you often?"

Yoona turned to the other inhabitant also stuck in the lift and raised an eyebrow.  Was this man mocking her too?  "Not particularly.  Only when they're in need of a translator, which is a very rare occasion indeed."  She smiled sarcastically and turned her eyes to the lift's ceiling.  Aigoo!  This is definitely not my day...

"Well, I don't know, Professor," Kurby replied sarcastically, standing on his toes as he attempted to reach even higher up above the lift.  "Were you hidin' an owl in your pocket that can just fly through walls?  Because last I heard, even interdepartmental memos had to wait for a lift."

Yoo was funny.  Too funny.  He didn't even try to hide it as he burst out laughing, shooting a look back at the woman as he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye with his free hand.  It was really too bad that something along those lines couldn't just be staged.  Seeing the mouthy translator put into a situation that she couldn't talk her way out of would make his day considerably better.

"Plenty capable, sure," he repeated, smirking at her for a good and long moment before turning his attention back to the grating.  "If you want to put your galleons where your mouth is, Yoo, come and look me up in a month.  Plenty capable," he repeated, still chuckling under his breath.  "Sure you are."

Burst of morning entertainment aside, he still had no intention of staying trapped in here for any longer than he had to.  It was probably, Kurby thought, a sad fact of life that he'd obviously be missed before either of the other two.  The Professor was probably so irritating that whomever he worked for - Kurby had him pegged as International, where people like his cousin spent their day seeing who could use the biggest word in context - would be glad to get him out of the office for a few hours.  As for Yoo, he had no idea how she justified staying on payroll.  Weren't there spells for that sort of thing?

Which meant that he was the only one of the trio whose absence was likely to be noticed.  And knowing Mainwaring, he'd probably just assume that Kurby had overslept after the long hours that they'd all just spent in the field.  Well, he'd be damned if he spent longer here than he had to.  He reached up through the grill, attempting to fiddle with the lift with renewed purpose.

The Professor and Yoo were trading stories about talking to werewolves behind him, which was so adorable that Kurby wanted to make retching noises.  Which he would have happily done, if his wand hadn't chosen that exact moment to impact against something hard.  Another shower of burning sparks exploded on top of him, setting his sleeve on fire, just as the lift suddenly dropped out beneath them by a stomach-jolting two feet.

Kurby yanked his arm back inside the lift just in time, saving the tip of his wand from snapping of by a bare inch.  Clutching at his forearm, he let off a flurry of curse words, smothering the sleeve against his body to put out the flames.

"Goddamn hell," he spat, shooting a furious look at the lift in general.  "What in the eternal fires of Merlin are we even paying Magical Maintenance for?  And what the bollix is taking so long?!" he added, his volume rising, as he glared up at the ceiling as if it was supposed to give an immediate answer.

"Not particularly.  Only when they're in need of a translator, which is a very rare occasion indeed." Yoo replied, and Johann raised both eyebrows.

"A trans- LAAATOR?"

The second part of the phrase came out amongst a surprised exclamation as the lift dropped two feet with a shower of sparks, which set Bagnold's arm on fire. Clutching at his forearm, he let off a flurry of curse words, smothering the sleeve against his body to put out the flames. Johann stood up straight again, and welcomed his stomach back to his body again.

"Goddamn hell, what in the eternal fires of Merlin are we even paying Magical Maintenance for?  And what the bollix is taking so long?!" He glared up at the ceiling.

Johann was about to open his mouth to say The job that you clearly can't do but closed it again out of better consideration. After all, he wanted to come out of this lift alive. Instead, he tried a different tact.

"Are you alright, Bagnold, or have you burnt your arm?" He asked, taking care to put the sound of genuine concern into his voice. Whether the defensive Bagnold would turn it round on him yet again, was a chance he would risk.

"Perhaps someone might hear us if we shout loud enough?" Johann asked, stepping over to the side where the door was, and running his eyes over the gate. He didn't recall it being a great time difference between floors, so they couldn't be too far from another floor. "Or do you think we might have dropped far enough to reach the next floor if we get the door open?" He asked them both, dropping to a crouch and peering down, as if it would somehow tell him there, or give some indication of light.

"Well, surely it's worth a go? You've both made it pretty clear you're not here to hang around for my company, and I've also plans to be productive elsewhere than lift shaft rescues." He remarked, looking over his shoulder, still crouched.

"Plenty capable, sure....If you want to put your galleons where your mouth is, Yoo, come and look me up in a month.”

Yoona bit her tongue.  Literally.  There was no other way that would stop the her thoughts from being verbalized.  It didn’t take much to set her off, and it seemed as if Kurby Bagnold was looking to do just that.  She had already been scolded for speaking out-of-line to a high level Ministry official (though Yoona still holds that he deserved much more than what he got for making a pass at her), and she wasn’t looking to be reprimanded again.  As terribly difficult as it was, she would control herself.  But Heaven help the werewolf capturer if she ever ran into him outside of this place.

“I grew up with two older brothers. My oppa deul*.  A werewolf would be nothing compared to them,” She remarked matter-of-factly in about as cool of a tone as she could muster.  And she would have gone on to explain why when the lift suddenly took a surprising two foot dive thanks to ‘Mr. Capable’.  Yoona braced herself against the wall of the lift, though since there was nothing really to hold on to, she still ended up stumbling around as she fought to keep her balance.  Clearly heels were not meant to be worn during such a situation, but it was a bit too late to do anything about that now.

“Aish! Jinjja?!*” She muttered angrily under her breath.  Yoona glanced at the two men who were discussing the different solutions as to how to get out of their predicament.  As far as she was concerned, she was more than happy just to wait for maintenance to come to the rescue.  At least they would know what they were doing compared to Bagnold who had already almost gotten them killed.

”Well, surely it's worth a go? You've both made it pretty clear you're not here to hang around for my company, and I've also plans to be productive elsewhere than lift shaft rescues."

“Well, thanks to Bagnold here,” She half-sneered sarcastically, “we might be close to another floor to try.  Though, the safest option would be just to yell for help.  That way there’s no chance of falling into oblivion.  However, if you two want to opt for that, I volunteer him,” Yoona pointed simply to Bagnold.

*older brothers, *like "Ugh! Really?!"

“Well, thanks to Bagnold here, we might be close to another floor to try.  Though, the safest option would be just to yell for help.  That way there’s no chance of falling into oblivion.  However, if you two want to opt for that, I volunteer him,” Yoona pointed simply to Bagnold.

"Excellent, I'm sure he's flattered you consider him ripe for the job." Johann replied, frowning slightly and looking from Yoona to Bagnold and back. Honestly, those two should just kiss and have it done with, the pre-existing tension just wasn't worth the hassle.
"Brothers, older, both of them?" He asked, casually dropping the thought in to Yoona, before dropping down to one knee from his crouch and placing his wand against his throat, called downwards in a magically amplified voice.
"Anyone there? Lift's jammed, don't want to die a long slow, painful death by warring Ministry colleagues - anyone?"

He could have had his entire arm spontaneously combust while a hippogryff devoured his left leg and someone flung a Cruciatus at his head, and Kurby would have still refused to admit injury to either of the other two parties on the lift.  He glared back at the newcomer as he purposely didn't cradle his arm, ignoring any flare of pain as he angrily shoved his wand back into a pocket and then carefully flexed his hand behind his back, well out of sight.

"Yeah, because that's what every bleedin' person in the Ministry spends their whole Merlin-sotted morning doing," he muttered, glowering at the lift at large as he slumped back against the wall, momentarily discouraged from trying to fix it himself.  "There's someone on every floor, standin' around the lift doors just in case they hear someone shout.  Grand idea.  Let's just all shout."

At Yoo's comment, he turned another deathly glare on the woman.  If the translator had ever done anything useful in her life, he'd give the next werewolf he encountered a flea bath and send it on its way.  The newcomer wasn't helping matters, though.  His discreet pumping of Yoo for information was so transparent, he might as well have had an invisibility cloak on.  If the idiot tried asking her about possible husbands or boyfriends next, then Kurby was going to be severely tempted to fake gagging right in the middle of the lift.

Whatever the reason for the Professor's sudden burst of cooperation, the werewolf hunter didn't want any of it.  He sank down to the floor, leaning back against the wall of the lift as he rested both elbows on his knees.

"Here's a thought," he snapped, taking his head in his hands.  "Why don't the two of you just light some candles and start singing songs?  Then we can all trade life stories and make a delightful night of it all.  The Ministry's probably on another goddamned lockdown," he muttered, glowering up at the lift doors as if it were entirely their fault that he was stuck here.  "No one's going to hear."

"Here's a thought, why don't the two of you just light some candles and start singing songs?  Then we can all trade life stories and make a delightful night of it all.  The Ministry's probably on another goddamned lockdown," Bagnold muttered, glowering up at the lift doors as if it were entirely their fault that he was stuck here.  "No one's going to hear."

Johann withdrew his wand from his throat and on the balls of his feet to look at Bagnold. He had read in one of Ignan's old copies of the Daily Prophet about the lockdown at the start of the month. He sighed and leaned against the wall behind himself, still balanced on his feet, rather than completely settling down like Bagnold had.
"Perhaps you could stick your arm back up there and start prodding around, if our presence causes you more pain." He remarked smartly, impatience rising and irritated by the fact any idea or consideration of ways of alerting help had been stamped on very firmly by this sarcastic wizard.

He decided not to add that there would potentially people waiting by the lift doors at the next floor in the hope of taking the lift to another floor, rather than listening for amplified cries for assistance. Bagnold appeared to want to kill him, and it would be a shame to have fled all this way to get murdered in a lift.

A low groan came from above them, sounding like some almighty beast sat stretching on the lift roof. Flicking his eyes upwards instinctively, Johann pushed himself back to standing and stepped over to the grille, peering up where Bagnold had been poking. Perhaps if they could make the lift drop further they'd reach the next level, though he didn't fancy his chances with the lift, he didn't fancy his chances much with his fellow occupants either.