Currently Attending:

Gryffindor
- Charles Harcroft :: 1 +1
- Keegan Kearney :: +1

Hufflepuff
- Dahlia Collins :: +3 +3
- Venora MacGregor :: +1

Ravenclaw
- Eirene Antonopoulos :: +6 +2 (+2)
- Philippa Perdue +1
- Cyhirae Trishna +1

Slytherin
- Noriko Wakahisa :: +3 +1 (+2)

----------------------------------------------------
NB: Please write as if your character is already in the lesson by the time Ignan begins. If your character has a plot reason for being late, then by all means write their arrival as an interruption, with the house point loss accompaniment... Thanks.
----------------------------------------------------

First years, regrettably, spent much of their academic days learning to control their magic, which was often fluctuating and a little unpredictable until they had become used to using them regularly. Secondary to this was often confidence, in the stance, their voice, mind and their powers, which could be very daunting to a ten year old, especially those with the realisation they were magical only happening in the past twelve months.

From speaking with the other Professors about the First years, Ignan was pleased he had heard similar tales of incompetence and inconsistency with other professors teaching the first years their basic spellwork. Well, he wasn't really pleased, because he'd hoped they'd have progressed better than this. Then again, he'd spent his time teaching the cream at Durmstrangs mostly, and accepted that the dregs would be just that. Not the whole class.

That afternoon's lesson was luckily begun with meeting something the students had read and written about over Christmas. It was cursing to itself in its cage, with a large cover over it to obscure it from view. Not too long until it would be, regrettably released into the wild before it dried out.

When the students filed in, Professor Storm took a quick register, and the lesson began exactly on time. descending from the raised platform his desk was on, the Professor drew to the left of his desk where the large covered cage.
"Dare I say it, a point to house who identifies what is under this cover, and can provide a concise summary of what they studied of it."

With the slight exertion of his will by wandless magic, the black cover slid from the top of the cage, and the creature within was revealed with all its malice.


Credit: Neverville's Fairy Folio

----------
Assistance for the laziest:

• Lexicon
• Wiki
• Monstropedia

"It's swearing at us!" Eirene whispered to the student nearest to her, horrified and fascinated at the same time. She covered her ears. "It's saying bad words," she repeated, certain that someone would be as offended by this as she was. Even though she couldn't see what the creature was beneath the curtain, she imagined it would look like Mairead with its potty mouth.

When Professor Storm offered a point to whoever identified the creature first, and then removed the curtain, Eirene drew back with a loud gasp.

The horrible little creature shook its fists at them and snarled, as if it wanted nothing more than to escape the cage and bludgeon them all to death. Starting with her, Eirene thought as those beady red eyes shifted and looked into her own, alight with rage.

Definitely like Mairead.

"It's staring at me!" Eirene whined, completely forgetting for a moment that she knew exactly what the creature was and could probably write an essay on it, too.

Charles had come in on time, and watched as Eirene went off on a tengent. Honestly, it was at times like these thta he was glad that purists considered him different from them. Be was ewqually glad not to be in the same house as Eirene. " Thats' a Red Cap. So named becasue their caps are suppsed to be dyed from their victim's blood. They bludgeon their victims to death, which doesn't make much sense in my opinion if they need the blood, since you'd think they would use a method that preserved as much blood as possible. They're easily repelled with charms and hexes. They generally inhabit old battlefeilds. Honestly, they're only a danger to muggles." Charles finished. He had studied fairly hard over the christmas holidays, depite the distraction of the Festival and Josh having a schoolmate over just before christmas.

"That's a Red Cap. So named because their caps are supposed to be dyed from their victim's blood. They bludgeon their victims to death, which doesn't make much sense in my opinion if they need the blood, since you'd think they would use a method that preserved as much blood as possible. They're easily repelled with charms and hexes. They generally inhabit old battlefields. Honestly, they're only a danger to Muggles."

"A point to Gryffindor, Harcroft. Bludgeoning their prey - violent, swift, and a demonstration of the strength of these little goblin relatives. Harcroft, you'd hardly be half as interesting and legendary if you took your time to drain the blood - a title already taken in a much more efficient method by vampires." The corner of the Professor's mouth twitched in humour of the young man.

"They need the blood to keep their hats damp, for when they dry, they perish. Should you be disarmed and encountering one, luring them into a trap may be your best solution, other than seeking to remove its hat - making it visible to Muggles. Charms, hexes, will depend on your repertoire, and the situation. We'll cover one shortly that is of some use on many foes, and simple enough for the magical inabilities of this class. Despite its heavy boots, outrunning a Red Cap is near impossible for any human without magical assistance. Their natural habitat is the extreme lowlands of Scotland along the English border, particularly around ruins of buildings."

The Red Cap swore some more and spat and hissed at the first years, its eyes bulging. Idiotic, simple minded creature, the Professor thought, and drew the cover over it once more, before tapping the cage three times with his wand, before it disappeared with a pop.

"Given the Red Cap's speed, what might be an effective hex to use against it?" He asked the First Years, now the swearing and hissing had gone at last.

Noriko had had her eyes locked on the covered cage ever since she'd entered the room.  This was not the way that lessons at Hogwarts were supposed to work!  After so many weeks at home, she had nearly forgotten how much she hated Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons, but her return to the classroom brought all of her fears rushing back.  There was something living in there!  A monster!  And as Eirene had noted, whatever it was, it had the most awful vocabulary of anything that Noriko had ever heard.  She immediately attempted to clamp down and Not Listen out of sheer willpower, just in case she overheard something she shouldn't and let one of Those Words slip out the next time she was mad at her brother.

There could be anything under there!  A dragon!  A Muggle!  If it hadn't been that she would have felt too guilty abandoning Eirene (and secretly thought that Professor Storm was even scarier than a dirty-mouthed Muggle would be), she would have bolted from the room and quit Defense class right then and there.

Professor Storm unfortunately got right to the point, before Noriko could even consider bolting.  She let out a little shriek as he whipped the cover back, covering her mouth with her hands and looking as though she wanted to disappear underneath her desk.

Charles Harcroft managed to correctly identify the monster (and, despite her terror, Noriko couldn't help glumly noting that he had earned another point for Gryffindor), but unfortunately, the awful class didn't end there.  Rather than praising them for the correct identification and making the monster vanish, Professor Storm kept asking...he wanted to know how to hex it?  He couldn't possibly expect them to cast spells against a monster! 

Her eyes wide, Noriko sat bolt upright in her seat.  This was even worse than the last class!  At least when they had been casting spells at each other, she had been relatively certain that her classmates (except for the Muggle-borns) woudn't be trying to eat her!

But Professor Storm seemed serious.  Shrinking back in her seat, Noriko wracked her brain.  Maybe if she got the right answer, she'd get a point for Slytherin too and the professor would make the awful creature go away.

The memory of their last disastrous Defense class stuck out vividly in her mind.  They must have learned that spell for some reason, mustn't they have?  Meekly, Noriko lifted her arm into the air, her hand trembling with sheer terror.

"Ex-...Expelliaramus?" she squeaked, once she'd been called on. 

Professor Storm sneered slightly at the squeak from Noriko.

"Do speak up Wakahisa." He retorted, though he had actually gathered what she had spoken, he was just seizing the chance to push her a little as she'd spoken up for once.

"Expelliarmus? Well, it might bide you some time, but since its a wand disarming spell, and a Red Cap commonly holds a pike, it is unlikely to cause it much issue." He paused, looked at the wide eyes of Noriko, and uttered,
"A point to Slytherin for the thoughtful suggestion from your repertoire though."

Merlin, he'd just been kind to that quivering wreck. He was clearly going soft. He'd have to torture some fourth year on the way to dinner just to balance it out.

"Consider the legs." He instructed the class, folding his arms, and leaning forward a little expectantly at them. Surely one of these idiots had read about a very simple curse to do with legs last term or over Christmas? Didn't anyone get curious and read ahead in their text books these days?

Eirene was so alarmed by the Red Cap that she couldn't formulate a proper envious response when Charles answered and gained a point. But as soon as Professor Storm covered the creature and spirited it away, her mind cleared, and she flung her hand in the air.

But what was this! Another hand reached into the air, attached to one Noriko Wakahisa. While Eirene's fingers twitched from the anticipation of answering correctly, Noriko's hand twitched out of fear, and Eirene stared at her in shock as the girl squeaked out a reply before her.

Eirene felt both thrilled and sympathetic when her friend suggested Expelliarmus of all things, and she paused another moment as Professor Storm gave them a hint. If Noriko got one point for a wrong answer, surely Eirene would get two points for a right one!

"Locomotor Mortis!" she called out, finally lowering her hand. "Otherwise known as the leg-locker curse. It'll make the Red Cap's legs freeze, giving you time to get away!"

Eirene stared hopefully at the Professor, already adding the two points to Ravenclaw in her head.

Venora, as usual, was not brimming to add something intelligent to the conversation. She had taken her seat and pulled out her notebook and after Professor Storm unveiled their subject for the day, her energies eagerly went into drawing the Redcap into her notes.

Her wide, observant eyes studied the foul creature, who reminded her of a demented house elf, and her quill went scurrying over her parchment.

She covered her mouth with her free hand when she heard Eriene's antics about the creature. Harcroft spoke up about what it was called, but Venora barely heard him, or Storm's continued expertise on the Redcap. Venora only continued to peer at him curiously and frowned.

Venora was stumped when it came to responding to Storm's question about hexes to use against him. She was going to be a terrible witch. Oh no! The Redcap was going to eat her someday! What a terrible way to die! Nommed to death!

The idea was really too fantastical for words and was growing bigger in the little girl's mind.

Thank goodness for Eriene who knew exactly what to do! People like her and Dahlia, who were so smart, would always know what to do! They would save her!

While many of her classmates had leaned back to get away from the foul little creature Dahlia had actually leaned forward. She was fascinated by the thing. It was horrible and gruesome and absolutely brutal in it's lust for blood but still it was fascinating. She watched with her blue green eyes wide and brushed a lock of raven hair out of her face to keep it from obstructing her view.

Her own quill was scribbling out the notes that she felt were the most important in the discussion. She glanced over at Venora's sketch and whispered a few pointers here and there to make sure that the picture was as accurate as possible. While she knew that Venora usually doodled in class due to lack of interest in the subject Dahlia didn't want her to fail either. She actually encouraged the girls artistic side and helped her put pertinent information into her sketches so that they weren't completely useless or irrelevant.

As Eirene spoke up Dahlia raised her own hand and added another suggestion, "Sir, if I may, while the Locomotor Mortis spell will bind the Red Caps legs it doesn't completely incapacitate him. I dare say the vicious little thing will continue to attack even if it can't move it's legs. From what I've read their blood lust is almost insatiable, I don't think it's that much of a stretch to believe they would still try to maim even if they couldn't walk. An inexperienced wizard could still fall victim to such a brutal creature." She paused to send a look to Eirene hoping the Ravenclaw wouldn't hate her for turning down her suggestion, "I would suggest instead to use Petrificus Totalus. It will put the creature in a full body lock and cut down on any accidental maiming." She paused yet again remembering that she was only supposed to be a first year and that she had already proven that she could perform spells that most of her classmates hadn't even tried yet, "That is of course if we're speaking generally and not based on what we ourselves could feasibly do in such a situation." Considering the fact that she still wasn't on speaking terms with her sister she figured it was best to downplay the fact that she had always performed two perfectly executed Petrificus Totalus Spells on the Dark twins.

Hands cautiously raised, more now that Noriko, normally one of the most timid in the class, had answered, and rewarded even for a suggestion. Eirene had her hand raised, and the Professor nodded to her.

"Locomotor Mortis!" She called, lowering her hand. "Otherwise known as the leg-locker curse. It'll make the Red Cap's legs freeze, giving you time to get away!"

"Very good Antonopoulos, that was indeed the spell I was looking for-." He had spotted Dahlia's raised hand, and nodded to her.
"Collins?"

"Sir, if I may, while the Locomotor Mortis spell will bind the Red Caps legs it doesn't completely incapacitate him. I dare say the vicious little thing will continue to attack even if it can't move it's legs. From what I've read their blood lust is almost insatiable, I don't think it's that much of a stretch to believe they would still try to maim even if they couldn't walk. An inexperienced wizard could still fall victim to such a brutal creature."

"Go on…" The Professor encouraged, intrigued.

She paused and looked to her classmates.
"I would suggest instead to use Petrificus Totalus. It will put the creature in a full body lock and cut down on any accidental maiming." Dahlia's confidence seemed to be waning. "That is of course if we're speaking generally and not based on what we ourselves could feasibly do in such a situation."

"A curious, and most well reasoned suggestion Collins. Two points to Ravenclaw and dare I say, three to Hufflepuff. Your classmates would do well to follow your examples in reading about their subject matter." He was genuinely very pleased with them, which made for quite a change. Normally he wanted to put them all out of their misery by the end of a class simply because he could see how frustrated they all became at controlling their magic.

"We will focus on locomotor mortis for today's lesson. Though I see no reason, if we have all remembered our brains today, that we might try to progress to full body binds. Good, wands out, gather at the front." The first years gathered quickly, as usual their faces full of dread and glee. The desks rattled to either side to form some space.

After a quick demonstration, and recap on the pronunciation of the locomotor mortis spell, he set the class to practise in pairs.

Eirene had nearly thrown a temper tantrum when Dahlia answered after her, giving a very intelligent suggestion that seemed to impress even Professor Storm! The green-eyed monster rose up in her, threatening to break free and wreak havoc. Her fingers curled as her eyes bugged out of her head. Ravenclaw had gotten two! Two points! Just like she'd expected!

But Hufflepuff received three. Plus a compliment from the very scary, very smart professor. The horror! Eirene let out a strangled sound and stared at Dahlia as if she'd just sucker-punched her. For a few seconds, Eirene wished she'd never invited her to her birthday party, just out of spite.

As the lesson went on, Eirene followed the professor's instructions to a tee, face still a bit flushed from anger and embarrassment. She kept glancing at Dahlia, as if the girl had purposefully stolen her glory.

When the students were instructed to practice, she latched onto Noriko's arm. Eirene didn't always practice with her, but today, she needed to feel better at something. Though she couldn't admit it to herself, right now she wanted a friend who would agree with her easily and never one-up her.

"I can't believe she got three!" Eirene lamented, her voice carrying even as she whispered. "So unfair!"

She stood across from Noriko and glanced around. "Shouldn't we have pillows?" Eirene wondered out loud in her normal voice, which meant that the next classroom could probably hear her.

"I don't want to get bruises when my legs lock together," she craned her neck to look at her bum. Her bum had more padding than the average twelve-year old girl's, and over the holidays, her grandmother had happily predicted that she'd get 'good birthing hips' by the age of thirteen.

Her eyes went wide and she let out a gasp, "But I could practice the cushioning charm too!" Eirene had never tried it before and was fuzzy on the details, but felt certain she could pull it off. She'd read all about it, after all! More importantly, if she managed two successful spells, surely the professor would reward her with more points than Dahlia!

"Trust me," Eirene told Noriko with a smug, excited air. "I can definitely do this, and then both our bums will be safe." She giggled at the word 'bum', and then raised her wand, ready to give it a go if Noriko let her.


((The professor or Noriko is certainly welcome to stop her before she attempts it , but if we want to play this out, I have a humorous outcome in mind!))

A point!  She'd gotten an entire point!  Noriko felt like jumping up and down.  She was elated; it was probably the only point she had won for Slytherin in Defense class since Professor Storm had taken over.  Ducking her head so that her hair hung over her face, she grinned to herself, her elation not even dimmed when Eirene and Dahlia doubled and tripled her haul.  That was a whole emerald that would be added to Slytherin's giant hourclass, and all because of her!

For once, Defense Against the Dark Arts class didn't seem nearly so bad.  But then Professor Storm laid out the plan for the lesson.  Rather than just answering questions, which was good and fine and might give her an opportunity to earn even more points for Slytherin, he wanted them to practice.  On each other.  Again!  The now-familiar command of 'Wands out!' made Noriko's stomach drop.  She looked up at the professor with wide, frightened eyes.  Why did she have to practice?  She wasn't ever going to try and petrify a redcap!  That was why there were first years like Eirene and Dahlia around; they were smart enough to do it for her.

Nervously, she pulled out her wand and turned to Eirene, worried that the other girl wouldn't want to be her partner after she'd flung her wand at her the last time.  But the Ravenclaw girl beat her to the punch, attaching herself to Noriko's arm.  Noriko felt relief flood through her that Eirene still wanted to work with her, and she nodded anxiously along as Eirene lamented the unfairness of Dahlia's triple.  Who cared about Hufflepuff?  She'd gotten a whole point for Slytherin!

They began to pair up, and Noriko could feel her nervousness growing as the exercise grew closer.  Anxiously, she began to look from side to side, trying to decide if she stood a chance of insisting she had to use the bathroom and sprinting for the door.

She was about to suggest this very idea to Eirene - after all, it was much safer to go to the bathroom in pairs, especially at Hogwarts - when the other girl came up with an excuse for her.  Of course!  How could they practice if they didn't have cushions?  They could get hurt!  Noriko started to anxiously nod, ready to pile on and let Eirene insist that they do something else for the lesson, when the Ravenclaw girl came up with a solution all on her own.

Cast a cushioning charm?  Noriko's eyes grew wide.  But how hard could it be?  And Eirene was really smart - after all, she hadn't thrown her wand at Noriko the last time they were practicing, and she won points for Ravenclaw all the time.  She hesitated for a moment, and then gave Eirene a nervous nod.

"All-.... All right," she agreed meekly, shooting a nervous glance over her shoulder at Professor Storm.  She hoped they weren't about to get in trouble for not following directions like they had during the last Defense practice.  Maybe it would be all right, as long as they didn't try and attach pillows to Mairead's bum. 

Giving Eirene an anxious look, she turned around, pulling her robes against her as she squeezed her e yes tight and prepared for the spell.

Eirene was already practicing the incantation in her head when Noriko reluctantly agreed. Eirene beamed at her, even though Noriko's eyes were closed, and raised her wand. It only took her a moment to say the incantation.

And it only took a moment for things to go horribly wrong.

If done correctly, the charm was supposed to provide an invisible cushion near or on the person's bum. It was most often used for long-term broom rides, Eirene had learned, though she questioned why anyone would choose to be on a broom for more than a few seconds. If done correctly, it provided an unobtrusive and comfortable little support system.

If done correctly.

Eirene let out a horrified squeal as Noriko's bum started to, well, expand. Instead of being invisible, and instead of being separate from the body, the charm caused a case of... there was no other phrase for it: epic bubble butt. On the small girl, it looked absolutely ridiculous.

"Nooooo!" she groaned in horror, glancing around frantically. Eirene ran up to the professor and stopped short of tugging on his sleeve. "Professor Storm! Please, please do something! I didn't mean to, and and- looook!"

She pointed at Noriko. This was not how things were supposed to go!

Noriko had had her eyes squeezed tightly shut as Eirene cast the spell.  It wasn't that she didn't trust the Ravenclaw girl - Eirene was, after all, probably tied for smartest in their class with Dahlia, and she was several months older than Noriko besides.  But magic, even magic that was supposed to make her safer like a cushioning charm, still made her a little nervous.  It was one thing when her parents or a professor was casting the spells.  Having another student do it made her feel anxious.

Eirene spoke the spell, and Noriko carefully opened her eyes.  She didn't feel any different - maybe a little light-headed, but that was all.  Had it even worked?  What if she fell down on the floor, but Eirene hadn't cast the spell correctly and got her hurt?  She was in the process of trying to squint suspiciously at her backside to make sure when her friend let out a squeal and Noriko suddenly realized that it wasn't her head that was getting lighter.

She let out a horrified, ear-piercing shriek, staring at her bottom as it ballooned to record-setting proportions.  Her bum!  It had already started to rise into the air, dragging the rest of her with it.  Noriko had to stand on her toes to maintain contact with the ground.  She grabbed desperately for a chair, clinging to it to keep herself from floating away as her ballooned behind began to bob in the air.

"YOU HEXED ME!" she wailed at Eirene.  Tears were already beginning to stream down the young Slytherin's face.  She clung to the chair, but it didn't seem to do any good; as her bottom continued to inflate, it dragged the rest of her, chair and all, toward the ceiling.  "Make it stop!  Get me down!!"

"Professor Storm! Please, please do something! I didn't mean to, and and- look!"

Interrupted in correcting a first year's wand grip, Ignan turned to look back over his shoulder in the direction Eirene was pointing.

Timid Noriko was grasping for her chair, her buttocks seemingly partially transfigured into helium balloons.

"YOU HEXED ME!" she wailed, tears streaming down her face. "Make it stop!  Get me down!!" But for all her protests, her buttocks inflated the more, and the chair began to rise from the floor, still in her grasp, not a sufficient tether at all.

"Antonopoulos, what were you attempting to do to Wakahisa that involved inflating her backside?" He asked Eirene scathingly, rather than stepping in to remove the effect very quickly. "Were you planning on floating her up there for your own personal balloon display, or were you planning on shooting her down at some point?"

The comment no doubt put the image of Eirene bursting Noriko's backside like a huge balloon to bring her down. Noriko continued to express the need to be rescued as she continued to rise up.

"Well," Professor Storm replied folding his arms and looking from his inflated student to Eirene, "you put her up there, so you'll get her down!"