Peyton's head was still spinning. He had requested to spend the day away from family on the pretense of buying last minute presents for the family. In all honesty he just needed to get away and straighten his head out. Sitting on a bench sipping hot butterbeer Peyton watched all the other families walk merrily through the festival without a care in the world. Peyton's own cares had never really gone much farther than worrying about Quidditch and trying to pull up his grades. Now there was a whole new world of worries that he never thought he had to face before. After all it wasn't everyday you found out your arch rival was actually your brother, it was like something out a muggle comic book.

Fed up with people watching, Peyton made his way over to the carriage rides. Perhaps a ride through the village would give him a better view on things. Especially considering the fact that what had been bugging him the most was how guilty he felt about the whole thing. Xavier was a mess all because of him. If it wasn't for him Xavier's father, his father, never would have left. Peyton couldn't shake the horrible guilty feeling he had about his father leaving Xavier to be with him. What made him the better son?

Peyton climbed up into the plush velvet cushioned carriage and smiled as best he could to the horse wrangler that was organizing all the rides. The scruffy looking wizard looked like he was better suited to be wrangling dragons rather than horses and Peyton couldn't help but wonder if that's exactly what he did when not working at the festival.

"Ye gotta partner there son?"

"Uh no. Just me."

"Well that won't do," The scruffy old wizard turned to the holiday crowd at large, "Lonely rider! Gotta lonely rider here! Step right up and give sonny here some holiday cheer! Lonely rider!"

Peyton sunk into the seat trying to hide as much of his athletic six foot frame as possible. His face had turned a horrible shade of red from embarrassment but at least it had him thinking of something other than his newly found blood relation.

Sophie was killing time shopping with Zoe and Ruby. Well actually she was looking restlessly at things and trying to decide on last minute gifts and they were nagging her that she’d waited till the 23rd to try and find their father a present. It was like all things in her life, down to the wire and in danger of missing the mark but managing to squeak by, by the skin of her teeth. To be fair with three siblings and a brilliant mother finding the right gift for her dad was always hard. Someone else always thought of the clever things first, or thought of something better than anything Sophie could have come up with.

The only thing she’d ever given him she was sure he loved was for his last birthday. She and Ruby had worked for weeks on a song for him, then played it at his party. He’d cried - which Sophie had joked was because it was so bad, but sometimes she’d catch him humming the tune when she’d happen by the family room. It made her feel good, then again everything about her family made her feel happy - most of the time. She knew, in a vague way, that she was lucky. She was aware most people didn’t have the luxury of a happy two parent home, let alone two parents who still loved each other as much as when they’d first met.

This deep sort of thinking was not really what Sophie’s brain was cut out for - even if the Holidays brought them to mind. So she was kicking a rock down the cobblestone street of Hogsmeade, minding her own - of course she’d wondered off from her sisters. She wasn’t eleven anymore she could go where she very well liked. Besides they were trying to pick out treats for extended family and standing in Honeyduke’s made her uncomfortably hungry. It was obviously a day that she rolled out of bed and put whatever was clean on, before stuffing a beanie on her head and going poit with Zoe and Ruby. Her gray sweatshirt and boots kept her warm enough, though her bare hands were freezing.

As if on autopilot she got in line at the hot chocolate booth. Hands jammed in her kangaroo pocket as she bounced on the balls of her feet to get warm. Before she was to the front of the line she heard the familiar call of the Carriage Ride Guy. Looking over her shoulder she squinted her eyes trying to make out the poor lonely soul fixing to ride alone. She recognized him from school…he played Quidditch, she was fairly sure his name was Peyton. Stepping out of line she jogged over and leapt into the seat beside him, “Shove over a bit Wentworth, I‘d rather not fall out if it‘s all the same to you,” she grinned at him a little as the driver draped a magically enchanted blanket over their laps. It’d been awhile since Sophie’d been this forward with a basic stranger.

Peyton moved over the instant Sophie started to climb into the coach. He knew of her well enough. They'd been in most of the same classes since they started at Hogwarts but it was safe to say that they weren't in the same social circles. Sophie was fun and bouncy and made friends with practically everyone. Peyton hadn't really talked to her much before. His own circle consisted of mostly Ravenclaws, people like Sasha and Allie and Percy. He didn't spend much time with those from other houses but he wasn't going to object to her helping him out of a rather embarrassing situation.

"Uh thanks Soph." He made sure he kept his hands visible after the magical blanket was draped over them. He didn't need her thinking that he was going to use this opportunity to cop a feel or something. Not that he ever would, Sophie was pretty and all but so beyond his type it wasn't even funny. Then again he was still trying to figure out what his type was but if his reaction to Edmund's kiss after the Quidditch game was any indication, Sophie would never be his type.

As the carriage started down it's predetermined path through the village Peyton looked over to Sophie with what he assumed was a friendly smile, "So  . . . um . . . you excited for Christmas?" He had no idea what to talk to the girl about but was now 'stuck' with her for the next half an hour.

It amazed Sophie sometimes how people could live in the same place, share the same classrooms, eat in the same Great Hall and still not really know one another. It was troubling the way people were insulated in their own universes and didn’t take notice of anything outside of that - herself included! For nearly five years now Sophie and Peyton had had the same professors, eaten the same food, seen one another almost daily but she didn’t know anything real about him besides the fact he didn’t seem like most other Ravenclaws.

She wasn’t sure what gave her this impression, it certainly wasn’t that he didn’t seem smart, just that she thought she might have heard he didn’t do well in classes. He was a Quidditch boy, though that probably meant more to other people than Sophie herself. She liked the game alright, but it was more about going and screaming her head off for her house than anything else. Of course her brother had tried to get her to do regular readings about the matches and that spoiled some of the fun for her.

Offering him a smile she shrugged, “It’s all gravy baby,” she had a tendency to throw out dated or silly lines like that - she thought it was part of her charm. It never occurred to her that someone night not like being called baby. Of course when she did think of it her mind went off in twenty different directions so it seemed best to her to just say things and then deal with people’s reactions rather than agonizing over what she ought to say.

When he asked about Christmas she nodded her head, “Yea, it’s a bit of a spectacle though isn’t it? I mean all the galleons shelled out for presents and decorations, but there are Orphans in the streets of Mumbai”. And there was the truly strange thing about Sophie. She made herself aware of the horrible things in the world, and she wanted to make them better - most people didn’t suspect her capable of truly deep thoughts. She was silly and cute, hardly anyone gave her credit for wanting to be a good person - or at the very least capable of understanding the world outside of herself, which she was actually quite good at.

“What about you? Is there a big tado with your family?”

As Sophie got comfortable Peyton couldn't help but study her. From what he knew of the Gryffindor she was fun, spunky and easy for most people to get along with. With all of that in mind it was hard for Peyton to think about why they had never really talked before. He knew he wasn't really the kind of guy that went out of his way to make friends, those that he was friends with had come to him naturally either through his house or through Quidditch. Sophie wasn't in either category and so there had never been a real reason for them to interact other than being in the same classes for over four years.

He chuckled softly and felt a hint of a blush rise to his cheeks when she called him baby. It was weird actually, he didn't think a girl had ever made him blush before but she was just so forward and open, not caring about saying weird things that it had caught Peyton off guard. He hoped she didn't take it the wrong way though. As much as he wanted to get to know her now that they were going to be subjected to each others company for the next half an hour, he didn't want her thinking he was sweet on her or anything. That would just cause a whole boat load of trouble that he honestly didn't need.

"I didn't know you were so involved." It sounded stupid but Peyton was too busy with things like Quidditch and schoolwork to know which of the students were involved in things like SAWS. He found it weird that a pretty girl like Sophie would be more concerned about starving orphans than getting presents from her family. He had always thought of crusading idealists as being something that adults were, not fifth years.

As she asked about his own family Peyton's expression turned sour for a moment before he caught himself and gave her a smile, fidgeting with the enchanted blanket over their laps, "Well we usually spend the holidays between the two families, Christmas day is usually spent in Australia with my mom's family then boxing day we come back here to celebrate with my dad's family." His expression turned sour again as he looked out of the carriage at the passing shops and houses, "Though this year I could do without seeing any of my dad's family." Especially Xavier, Peyton thought to himself.

Sophie just grinned at him, “You’re not the only who doesn’t realize, don’t worry about it,” she was used to it. The desire to make the world a better place - through things like SAWS and other originations came from her mother. Mona Flickwick was not only a looker but she was a one woman force to be reckoned with. She could come into a room and stir it up like a tornado. She’d taught Sophie to be the same way. Mona never backed down from a fight, never turned her back on those in need, and never apologized for being idealistic. Sophie strove to be like her mother, to encompass all of those things - but sometimes they seemed like such big shoes to fill. S

he knew her mother was proud of her…but she also knew that her mother didn’t know all of what she did. Like the whole disaster at the Mixer. She was still kicking herself for what she’d done. It wasn’t fair to anyone involved, not Fauna or Devlin - and certainly not Chance. She felt most wretched about that. He deserved a better friend - then again she was also the girl that had been so focused on Devlin that her best friend had been left to her own devices until Ferris showed up.

Soph was not batting a thousand lately on the good friend front…which was maybe why she picked up on the undertones of Peyton’s words so easily. She’d thought, for the most part, he was a pretty happy kid. She hadn’t ever really stopped to wonder about him or his home life - why would she? Soph was good at seeing the big picture and the picture that immediately effected her life…the middle ground was hazy for her. Chewing on her thumbnail she slumped back in the carriage and watched him closely.

There was definitely something on his mind. She nodded sympathetically, “It’s exhausting, having so much family. When I was younger we’d have to split vacations between American and Ireland. Now everyone just comes to see us. Of course that means we have to figure out how to share three bathrooms with sometimes upwards of twenty people,” she made a small face. She didn’t really mind it though, like her mother she was happiest when their house was full. Tilting her head to one side her voice got a little softer, “What’s different this year”

Peyton couldn't help but give the girl a small smile. Perhaps he wasn't being as subtle as he thought he was or perhaps he was subconsciously trying to get her to ask that exact question. He hadn't been able to talk to anyone about all of this yet and it was too much to keep inside. Normally this was something he would have gone to his friends about but being the holidays he didn't really see them that often. Sasha was still out there somewhere, Peyton had heard that he had been seen around the Festival with a most wanted criminal wizard but that just didn't make sense and so he had shrugged it off as just another rumor. Ally was visiting family and this really wasn't something you talked to your friends about through owl. Afterall if he had talked to Sasha and Ally about this they were more likely to take the sympathetic side. Talking to Sophie, someone who knew nothing about him was probably better since she'd be more likely to take an objective side to the situation and perhaps that was exactly what he needed.

"Have you ever known someone so well that you think there's nothing you don't know about them? That you've known them your whole life and there was nothing they could do to surprise you? You knew every last thing about them?" His haunted grey blue eyes turned back to the passing houses, he didn't think he could look at her while he was pouring his heart out to her, "Have you ever had that person turn around and betray you so badly it feels as if you never even knew them at all?"

Peyton knew he was being vague but this was still a very raw subject. He was still getting used to everything that had happened. It wasn't easy keeping it inside but it wasn't easy letting it out either, especially since his father just wanted it to go away, to hush it all up and not get the rest of the family involved. Peyton felt like he had a dirty little secret that was toxic, poisoning him from the inside out.

"You know Xavier Tawse? Slytherin arse that's in our year?"

Sophie considered his questions carefully, lips drawn together to the side. He sounded so lost and sad! It pulled on her heart strings just a little bit, without thinking she reached out and squeezed his hand. Sophie was, for all intents and purposes and physical person. She was quick to dish out hugs and kisses among her friends but they were never more than just a sign of friendly affection. Well, that wasn’t totally true, but generally, like now, it was. It never crossed her mind this might confuse people because, well, everyone she knew understood it was just how she was. Like she had so much affection to give if she didn’t just randomly throw her arms around people her head might explode and kill her dead.

“I think… when we love people we forget that they’re people,” she paused, wondering if she sounded insane. “When we love them we see the best in them, and we kind of form this idea about who they are - but really what we see is just who we want or need them to be. But it doesn’t make our idea of them less real. Just means there’s more than meets the eye. S’like m’da,” she paused tugging on a dark lock of her hair, “There’s alotta years of his life I’m not a part of, so the person I know him to be isn’t who he always was, and the person he was…when I hear stories sometimes I think he isn’t a person I would have liked very much”.

It was true, when former bandmates showed up and talked about how Duncan Flickwick had been right out of Hogwarts he seemed icky to Sophie. He sounded like he didn’t respect himself or women. Duncan didn’t like it when they told these stories obviously because now he was a great lover of ladies - considering he had five demanding [albeit all differently] that brought him endless amounts of joy, “But then I ‘member he’s just a person - and he lets me make mistakes so it’d be pretty rotten of me not to grant him the favor of having been really young and really stupid once too, y’know?” Patting his hand again she made a small face at the mention of Xavier, “Yea I know him. He’s a right tool if ever there was one”.

Peyton gave her a quirky smile, for a moment he wondered if she had managed to master legilimency early. She seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and by giving her own account of her father it made him feel a little bit better. Although there was a difference between someone being a cocky teenager, before they ever had a wife or children and someone living a secret second life while raising their children.

He shrugged and when she squeezed his hand he squeezed back. He had no other thoughts about the small bit of affection he was showing her. From what he had seen around school Sophie was always hanging off of someone, hugging, touching, kissing her friends. She was just that kind of person. However if she did mean something more about it Peyton wondered how to tell her he just wasn't interested, to be honest he wasn't interested in any girl.

"I think this may be different."

Peyton allowed himself to laugh when she called Xavier a tool. It was nice to know that he wasn't the only one that disliked the Scottish Slytherin. With his large group of friends and charming nature it was often hard to think that others actually disliked him, "Yeah he is a tool." He let out a long sigh before looking over to her again, "Yesterday I found out that my Dad's been living a double life. My mom always told me about this incredibly romantic story of how they met in a whirlwind romance and then I was born. I didn't grow up with my dad. My mom always said he was a really important guy and had to help Grandpa with the business so he was away a lot. When I was eight he came home to stay and stopped going out on long business trips."

He looked out to the houses again, "Apparently all of that was a lie. My dad wasn't around because he was living with his wife. Apparently after I was born my dad went back and married his Hogwarts sweetheart and had another son. He lived with his wife and son until he couldn't take it anymore and came home to us instead. Apparently he didn't even tell her he was leaving her, he just disappeared one day."

Peyton rubbed the back of his neck and looked back to Sophie, "The son he left behind, the one he just walked out on, left to believe he was dead, is Xavier. We're brothers and I'm the reason he's such an bloody tool. If it weren't for me his dad never would have left and he would have grown up properly."

Sophie let him talk, she got a feeling that was what he really needed. Though she didn’t often show it she was a pretty good listener. It just took so much energy to sit still and focus! Chewing the inside of her cheek she snuggled deeper under the blanket trying to get her fingers warm. It was quite a tale he was telling. It reminded her a bit of the Spanish Soap Operas her Abuela  watched on long sticky summers in New York. It seemed strange people really lived their lives that like - and sad. Sad that Peyton felt somehow it was his fault when obviously his father just… made really bad choices. It was different in a way that the problem she had with her dad - but also not. It was about having to accept and altered image of someone you placed on a pedestal. Hero worship came naturally to children for their fathers. Losing that image was hard, knowing that the person you thought was the greatest man in the world is really some screw up who has other kids and at one time abounded you both… well Sophie didn’t know how she would deal with it.

Keeping that in mind she chose her words very carefully, “Hmm. Well, it’s all very sad. It’s sad for Xavier but it’s also sad for you. I mean your dad ran around on your mom and Xav’s. He abandoned you both at different times - if he hadn’t come home to you and you were the one suddenly finding out about this life he chose to have without you in it…would you blame your dad or your brother?” She was genuinely curious because she didn’t want to tell him how to feel about the situation. It was just, well that kind of logic didn’t make sense to her. Neither one of the brothers asked to be born, they didn’t bed their father to pick one and leave the other. That was his choice, his selfishness. His weakness. Having a father who loved she and her siblings enough to be the caretaker so Ramona could have a career… she just didn’t understand how, even when a relationship was over, a man could just leave his child.  “And, for the record?”

She paused again unsure of how to continue, sucking on her bottom lip, “At this point in his life Xavier is a big boy and can make his own choices. The person he chooses to be every morning when he gets out of best is no more your responsibility than the giant squid. We all get to make up who we want to be as we go along. It’s not your fault he chooses to be someone so absolutely dreadful,” with that she reached out and put one arm around him, giving a squeeze. She didn’t know what else to do. Hugging and making people laugh was her thing, but this was not a situation that could be turned amusing or upside down and looked at another other way than bad. Which made her feel a little helpless. She’d have given just about anything to make him crack a smile then. As they approached the coco stand again Soph poked the driver, “Stop for just a second yea?” While the carriage slowed to a crawl she bolted out and came back quickly with two hot chocolates.

Peyton listened to her words carefully, soaking them in. He had been right about Sophie taking the more objective view on the situation and he was suddenly glad she had climbed into the carriage with him. While it didn't entirely make him feel great about the situation, nor was it stopping him from blaming himself for the whole thing it had helped and that was the important thing. She raised a very good point about it being about his father's bad decisions and nothing he had actually done himself. He hadn't really thought of how things would have been on the flip side. How would he have reacted if he had been the one to find his long lost father hanging out with Xavier during the festival.

"I never thought about putting myself in Xavier's shoes. I guess I'd be blaming my dad like he did, instead of blaming him." He chuckled wryly, "It's kinda funny when you think about it. Me and Xavier have been at each other's throats since we first met, it's only natural that we turn out to be brothers."

He turned back to her when she mentioned about Xavier making his own choices. When he thought about it he supposed she was right. Peyton hadn't made Xavier hit Maddie at the Halloween dance, Peyton hadn't told Xavier to ruin that poor third years reputation, he hadn't forced Xavier to try and attack Kelyn. All those bad choices had been on Xavier's head not his, just like his father leaving Xavier and his mother was on his father's head and not his. Peyton supposed he was just having a hard time not being the guilty party in any of it. It was hard to see so many bad things happening and try be guiltfree from it.

As she put her arm around him Peyton laid his head on his shoulder thankful for the contact. He only wished it had lasted longer but he wasn't about to stop her from getting a drink for the two of them. He thanked her for the drink and attempted to take a few sickles out of his jeans pocket to repay her, "I think the hardest part about all of it is the fact that no one's talking about it. My dad won't talk about it. Xavier doesn't want to talk about it and I'm not supposed let my mom and my sister even know about it. Not that I ever could, there's no way I'm going to be the one to break my mother's heart."

Sophie gave him a small smile, “It’s hard to put yourself in anyone else’s shoes when something is happening right in front of you that effects your own life. S’easy to get caught up in how you feel about things rather than how things really are. Life feelin’ guilty over something you can’t control,” she felt a bang of guilt at that, knowing full well that she was hardly the good person she claimed to be. She still hadn’t forgiven herself for the entire Devlin mess. She had set into motion something that reached far beyond her own life - and it had the potential to really hurt people she cared about. All because she was selfish and wanted Devlin’s attention for herself. Thinking about it made her skin crawl with disgust. She was such a fake! How could she sit there and try to  help Peyton make peace with the fact his father wasn’t who he pretended to be, she wasn’t who she pretended to be either.

Still, he didn’t need her angst driven guilt to get in the way of what he was going through. The situation seemed pretty bleak all on it’s own accord. She rested her head on top of his as he sagged into her shoulder. He was so sad, she just wanted to offer what little comfort she could. It was kind of ironic that it would turn out Peyton and Xavier were related. Rubbing his shoulder she nodded a little letting him continue, “I guess the only thing you can do is keep talking until someone answers… though for the safety of your face I’d make it your dad and not Xav,” there was actually not a trace of amusement to her voice when she said the last part. It was just good sound advice. The Slytherin 5th year was known for throwing temper tantrums and using his big meaty fits in the process. The last thing she wanted was to give such faulty advice that Peyton got his nose broken. That was why she didn’t tell people what to do in the first place!

Sipping her coco she waved his hand away, “It’s what friends are for,” she guessed they were friends now. Really, could you know a secret like that about someone and not be their friend? It seemed too personal to share with a strange and yet that’s almost exactly what they were if she didn’t suddenly give them the buddy stamp of approval. Pursing her lips to one side she tilted her head to look at him again slipping her arm through his, “Have you ever considered the possibility she might know…and just hasn’t told you because she didn’t want to be the one to break your heart? I mean mothers have been known to do stranger things…dressing up like Mr. Clause the year my uncle Alphonz had a cold and couldn’t be Father Christmas, for example. The accent and fact she was so skinny with a big butt kind of gave her away but, you know, she wanted to keep us innocent”. Ok it wasn’t exactly the same thing but she hoped it might make Peyton smile.

Peyton soaked up all the physical attention she was giving him. It was nice to feel comforted by someone that you had no chemistry with. He wasn't really a touchy person. None of his friends were really touchy but it felt good to sit there in her arms and feel her comforting him as a friend and knowing she meant absolutely nothing about it, at least he hoped she didn't. It would be incredibly awkward if she was trying to make a move on him and he had absolutely no interest in her.

He shrugged slightly, "I suppose your right. Eventually my Dad will have to talk to me about it right?" He chuckled softly when she mentioned not meeting Xavier's fists, "It might sound weird but I'm used to getting into fights with Xavier. Remember how badly we fought on the train?" He was sure someone like Sophie would have remembered. Even at eleven she was already the center of attention, getting to know everyone, "It got so bad they actually had to forcibly separate us with magic." He shook his head wryly his eyes glittering as if he were remembering a fond memory instead of a violent one, "He's broken my nose, nineteen times now. Thank goodness for magic, yeah? This pretty face would have been mangled." He chuckled again and cuddled into her some more.

"I guess it's possible my mother does know. She always seems to have a weird look on her face whenever I talk about my fights with Xavier but I always figured it was just because she didn't like me fighting in the first place. If she does know I think she's keeping it quite for Helena's sake more than mine. She's kinda fragile I guess you'd say. She's in Ravenclaw too, third year but doesn't get noticed much." He looked her over, "That'd be one hell of a way to find out Santa Claus isn't real."

Sophie just nodded, sucking on her bottom lip as she tried to frame her words carefully, “Parents are weird, but then I guess we are too. Everyone goes around keeping secrets because they don’t want anyone to get hurt… I guess the thing I can be most grateful for with my Mum and Da is that they’ve tried to teach me not to do that. Mum likes to say that eventually everybody’s bill comes due and it’s better if there are no hidden charges,” she gave his arm a squeeze and sipped her coco looking at the sleepy little hamlet as they trotted through. Glancing at him from the corner of her eye, her lips twitched in amusement, “When I was little I’d get so mad if Johnny or Ruby weren’t telling me something. I’d stamp my little feet and shake my finger, and when that didn’t work I’d burst into tears and run to Mum saying ‘you said secrets don’t make friends, that means they’re not my friends’ and then we would all have to sit down and talk about our feelings… my parents are basically new age weirdos. We all should have been popped on the bum and sent to bed,” she told the story with cheery mirth, trying to distract him from his troubles.

When all else failed that was what Sophie was best at - being a diverson. She could talk about anything for hours and if you tried to keep up with her, she’d been told, it was like reaching a state of chipmunk Nirvana. The thoughts and words fired at you so fast your brain would just SHUT OFF - and all that would be left was some kind of understanding that you were hearing words. Her brother compared her to a rushing tide pool, all noise but kind of soothing too. Chuckling when he looked at her she nodded, “That’s commitment, right? I could handle finding out Santa wasn’t real,” she paused living him a pseudo grave look, “I was absolutely gutted, however, when I found out the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real. Though, if you think about it,” she gave him an amused chuckle, “I ought to have been glad there wasn’t a little creature after my teeth!”

Peyton didn't do anything when she elaborated on the subject of secrets. For some reason it made him think of that class in History of Magic when they had delved into the Chamber of Secrets. It seemed everyone throughout all of history had their secrets. It made Peyton wonder what he was hiding. Was he hiding anything? He always figured he was an open book. He never thought of hiding anything. Sasha and Ally knew everything about him and he didn't think that he purposely held back anything for anyone that asked. Didn't he just tell a complete stranger the biggest secret of his life?

Peyton chuckled again and sipped more of his cocoa looking to Sophie with a smile, "My parent's never bothered with the whole tooth fairy thing. They just made me put the tooth under my pillow and switched it out for money once I fell asleep." He smiled at the thought, "Although they did go all out for Helena. She's always been more of heads in the clouds girl than I ever was. Not that I'm calling myself a girl, I just-" He chuckled again, "I'm not as good with the words as you are. I think my only talents are out on the pitch." For a moment he wondered if he should ask if she had watched the last game. She was a Gryffindor afterall. He hoped she didn't hate him for grabbing the snitch before Grace could.

He looked to Sophie again and sighed, "Thanks Soph, I really needed this."