[Sept 8] The most tragic story of a boy

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[Sept 8] The most tragic story of a boy

on November 12, 2009, 05:47:37 PM

September 8th, 2008





The Most Tragic Story of a Boy

by Rita Skeeter

A boy, nay a young man emerges from the lake of Hogwarts school. He is dripping wet with the September-chilled water, and there is a hint of sadness and loneliness in his eyes as he makes his way like a magnet to Rita Skeeter. Miss Skeeter greets the young man named as Sasha Schlagenweit, a fifth year Ravenclaw, and he is most willing to share his life story. His bravery in standing up to the new Headmistress, one Analiza Snark, at the end of the last academic year caught the attention of many. Further still, he saved a poor drowning child from the lake a mere week ago, and yet asks for nothing in return except love.

This poor morsel only asks for someone to love him as much as he would love them. He has never felt the love a paternal relationship can hold, and now he wants to show that this hasn’t hindered him in anyway – though a broken shell, he is capable of love and care, and this is something he needs. He wants to be able to nurture a young lady the way she should be nurtured. [He is single, ladies.]

When asked about his family life, Mr. Schlagenweit looks away as though he is feeling a great pain. How can someone miss something they’ve never had, you may ask.

“Here.” He points to his heart, a look of complete devastation upon his delicate features. “There is an agonising hole right here. Everytime I look in the mirror, I wonder whether it is the same thing he sees when he looks in the mirror. When I dance, I wonder if he is as good a dancer as I.” It is on good authority that I state Sasha Schlagenweit is an exceptional dancer, preferring line-dancing above all others.


A tear stings Mr. Schlagenweit's eye as he speaks about the father he never knew. He asks for a tissue, and the beautiful, intelligent Miss Skeeter obliges, pulling out a handkerchief spattered with green...flowers. The student compliments her on her choice of accessories, and it is truly a heart-warming sight to see a figure of such respect in Rita Skeeter making such a young man feel better about his life. Miss Skeeter is a pillar of society, exacerbated by her eagerness to put her arm around the boy's shoulders and comfort him in a way he clearly has never been comforted before.

Will this young man’s anguish ever be subdued, or must he be doomed to spend eternity looking at every passing man’s face and wondering whether that is the man who made his mark on the earth in the form of this wonderful, handsome, intelligent and modest creature?

Only time will tell, but I shall leave you with this thought. Gather your men, you husbands, brothers, fathers uncles and cousins. Beg them to tell you the truth – a child’s history and a young man’s happiness are at stake. You know it is the right thing to do.



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