Archer was in a remarkably better mood than he had been in the past two weeks.  His humor was improved by an impromptu meeting in the Head Auror’s office that previous evening.  Not only had he worked late, but he had come in early the next day.  No, it was not to work on paperwork or anything particularly important – except giving Eddie his birthday present.  A present, in the Auror department, was not conventional by any means and Archer did not intend to make it that way.

Knowing the way around the office and the things that one normally did, Archer was going to target his office supplies.  Taking Pratt’s quills, he charmed them to only write profanities, then put a sticking charm on the space beneath his desk, and finally ended on putting a meeting with Candice Stevenson, the Ministry shrink, on his schedule for lunch hour.  Hopefully he would put down his feet and be unable to move and then he would have the meeting to bother him.  Of course, it wasn’t a real appointment, but ten minutes before the text would change into HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRAT! (Intentionally spelled wrong). 

He would, of course, not take any of this personally, it was the tradition they had started and Archer got enough of it on his birthday so it was necessary to pay him back.  No one else knew what he had done and then he covered his tracks by going to the atrium for a little bit to come in on time.  He didn’t see anyone really, especially not Ray.  She was probably already in her office or a meeting, but he wasn’t exactly worried about it.  Thankfully, they had reconciled.  Oh, they really had reconciled.

The cheerfulness of his mood could not be inhibited by anything at this moment and he decided to check on the birthday boy himself.  Strolling casually, he ended up in front of the smaller man’s cubicle and smirked, “Hey Romeo, how are you doing on this spectacular Friday?  Big birthday plans or solo at the Cauldron?" he wasn't sure how he and Quice were fairing these days, it was an incomprehensible epic that he tried not to be too involved in, but Eddie was a friend and it was hard to avoid it.

Having to work on one’s birthday was, to plainly put it, lame. Therefore Edward hadn’t exactly entered the office to get started with great enthusiasm. Not that he was ever overly enthusiastic about paperwork. Hopefully he’d be able to get out of the office today, though. He had plenty of stuff to chase up so after reluctantly filling out a few reports to avoid getting another ear bashing off his boss. Then he’d escape, dragging on of the auror-in-trainings along with him.

It was always safer to be out of the office on one’s birthday, anyway. Especially for Edward after what he tended to leave his colleagues for theirs. After what he’d done for Radely’s last birthday, Eddie decided that he definitely needed to keep a stern eye on that man today. The auror wanted to get home in one piece, thank you. After all, now he had a wife to return home to.

When he stepped into the small cubicle, Eddie glanced around. All looked normal to him. Maybe Archer had forgotten it was his mate’s birthday. Oh Eddie hoped. He never made a big thing about his birthday, anyway. Didn’t like the idea of getting older. Fortunately, however most of the people in the office where his senior so no matter how old Pratt got, they were still older than him.

“Hey Romeo, how are you doing on this spectacular Friday?  Big birthday plans or solo at the Cauldron?"

Maybe Eddie wasn’t going to be so lucky. Goliath sounded happy. Pleased with himself. Very different to how he had recently. Eddie frowned and turned around to face his colleague, crossing his arms over his chest. “Another one beggin’ to go out with me tonight?” Wasn’t Eddie a popular boy? Unfortunately for his friends, Quincy had won that one and he was very willingly going to be staying in with her.

“I got meself a surprise from the wife tonight, apparently.” Eddie added, a childish grin now playing on his lips before he moved over to his desk and pulled the chair out.

“Is your time of the month done now, then?”

Everything looked exactly as Pratt had left it the previous day, a good sign for Archer Radley who didn’t want to rouse suspicion.  Of course, he should have realized he could have gruffly approached him, shoved some kind of half-arsed birthday card at him and then moved on, but he was in too good of a mood to even pretend that he was the miserable sod he had been for the past two weeks.  It was amazing how much different just coming to some sort of mutual understanding could change his attitude.

It was yet to be seen how the Head of the Auror office would act, he figured nothing different than she had been since the beginning (though he glanced at her office every so often to see if she was doing anything but studiously attending to her paperwork – no such observation as of yet.  “More like looking out for you,” Archer corrected with an easy grin, “Can’t have a man drinking alone on his birthday.  Just sad.” 

Raising his eyebrows, he was surprised that the wife was back again – well, not really surprised, actually, just wondering for how long.  He knew that Eddie and Quincy had a relationship that wasn’t going to die easily, hell, they had a stronger bond than he thought his parents did sometimes – and that was saying a lot, three sons and forty-some-odd years later.  So, he supposed he wasn’t so much surprised as happy for the guy, it was hell what he had been going through.  Sometimes women did that to them though, Archer thought, glancing again at the office subconsciously.  So true.

Smirking, of course, Archer gave him a ‘nudge’ on the shoulder (not surprisingly more like a punch), and laughed. “Surprise? Kids going to their grandmum’s for this surprise?” he couldn’t help but chuckle at himself – he didn’t imagine the surprise would really be all that much of a surprise – it never was, but that didn’t make it a bad present, quite the opposite.  Best birthday present he knew of! 

Sighing, it was a pipe dream to think that Edward would never notice the shift in mood.  “Just woke up on the good side of bed this morning, I guess,” he shrugged it off – not willing or wanting to explain, and smirked, “Besides, almost done with my weekly report.  What about you?”

“I bloody hope so.” Came the quick response to Radley’s comment about the kids being delivered to their grandparents. That was definitely what the man deserved. On his birthday especially. It wouldn’t be very pleasant if the kids made their way in during his surprise. Whatever it may be...

Eddie rubbed his shoulder lightly as he glanced down at his desk. Did Archer really have to ‘nudge’ him quite that hard? Ed was still a little sore after his confrontation with Jason. Therefore bearlike displays of affection couldn’t be taken quite so well as normal. Well, Eddie had grown accustomed to Goliath being moody and evasive the last couple of weeks. He wasn’t used to the BFG anymore.

“First time in weeks it seems...” It really had been as if Archer was struggling with his raging hormones over the last fortnight. The auror reminded Eddie of when his wife hit the last few months of pregnancy. It was definitely best to avoid a person that moody. At least he looked a little less grumpy now. Positively beaming. But was that a good thing? It usually meant the man was up to something.

“Besides, almost done with my weekly report.  What about you?”

With the chair now nicely freed from the desk, Eddie dropped himself into it and span around to face the desk. A disbelieving expression contorted the birthday boy’s features as he looked around to Archer. “What, you become the gaffa’s new minion?” He questioned accusingly.

If anybody knew Edward Pratt well, they would be aware that he wasn’t the most punctual when it came to reports or case files or...any paperwork really. He saw little point in it yet still complained when finding misfiled or incomplete files produced by someone else in the office that he needed. Too right, really. But the idea of Edward nearly being finished with a weekly report on a Friday morning (the morning of his birthday, no less!) was laughable to be honest. Shame on Archer.

“What would ye think if I told ye it was finished last night and on her desk by 7?”

“I’m not a minion,” Archer retorted with a bit of a disbelieving snort.  “I was just productive this week.  That sort of thing happens when you don’t have anything else to do, Romeo.  Not all of us are married with runts around,” he watched anxiously as Eddie was in his chair but not quite close enough to get his feet stuck to the floor yet.  It was almost agitating to see his prank almost come to fruition and then go nowhere.  It would happen soon, he had to work on paperwork eventually.  He would scoot just close enough and BAM – stuck. 

Leaning against the doorframe again, Archer reassured himself he was not Ray’s minion.  Quite the contrary, he was her equal – her partner, even if the titles didn’t reflect it.  Sure, he listened to her, but she listened to him too – he made damn sure she listened to him when he had something to say.  A flash of memory came through his mind and he smirked silently to himself – she had listened.  He was content with the semi-solution that was somewhat being breached between them and the mutual understanding of intention and possible ways to proceed.

He still had no idea what he was doing, probably never would to be perfectly honest, but he wasn’t a minion. 

And then, when he indicated that report had been on her desk at seven, Archer let out an audible burst of laughter. “I would say you were a liar,” he smirked, “because I was here – and there was no report on that desk that I saw.”  Of course, now, Archer realized, as he had spoken – he had spoken far too soon.  This realization came with a contortion of his face into a swift thought and backpedal from where he had just been.

Mentally slapping himself upside the head, Archer calmed down and smiled easily, hoping Eddie would not notice that brief strike of panic.  “I didn’t see anyone – or any papers - go into the office anyway…”

“That ‘ent what I’ve heard.” Not that Archer was the size of a minion. No, Eddie had never heard of a minion the size of a small house. Or better yet, a small cubicle. The poor sod always looked too overgrown for his ‘office’. Maybe he was an overgrown minion. One that had been rejected from it’s ...flock. Eddie didn’t know what they gathered in.  He smirked slightly. “Maybe ye can be my minion for the day since it’s me birthday.”

“And there ‘ent nowt runty about my kids.” Except maybe the youngest. But he’d soon be bigger. Granted, not as big as the giant presently inhabiting the space near Ed. But bigger. And Eddie was glad that he would now be able to see him every day to watch him grow. And to make sure he wasn’t taken to the dark side with Quincy. He wanted a kid that looked like him and he would damn well get it. Even if they had to create a whole quidditch team in the process. Best not mention that one to Quincy yet, though. She’d positively lay flobberworms just thinking about it.

The grin on Eddie’s lips grew quickly at being called a liar. Was it that obvious? He did sometimes hand stuff in on time. And he had done more over the last year, not having as much to do some nights and all. He’d joined the Archer Radley loser crew. Though his reasons weren’t for sucking up to the boss quite like his mate.

The truth regarding how Archer had known however came out. He’d been into Raynor’s office and watching him fumble over that one only made Eddie’s grin grow more. It was unfortunate for Goliath at that moment in time that he worked in an Auror’s office with people trained to pick up on stumbled like that. Not that that had been a difficult one of pick it. It had been about as subtle as a troll slapping one in the face. In Eddie’s opinion anyway.

“Our little secret, Goliath?”

Unfortunately for Eddie, it was his birthday and therefore he was very vulnerable to pranks. He’d now pulled himself under his desk properly, planting his feet on the floor and he reached for his diary. With that now open on the correct page, Eddie’s eyes travelled down it before widening to resemble great golden galleons.  This had to be a joke.

“Merlin’s greasy beards....”

“You have a pygmy puff’s chance on a dragon range if you think I’d do anything for you, birthday or not,” Archer smirked.  Clearly untrue as the pair had backed up one another on more than one occasion, but still – Archer was not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had his back most of the time.  That was the quasi-girly stuff that just didn’t have a place being said anywhere.  It was like an unspoken agreement.  To say it out loud was to make one’s self look ridiculous, and the last thing Archer needed at the moment was to appear even more ridiculous than he already did. 

He felt foolish for having said so much, considering he was trying to slam his colleague – instead, he ended up putting himself in exactly the position he did not want to be in – one where Pratt could potentially have something on him.  It wasn’t his prerogative to potentially lay waste to whatever groundwork he had managed to lay down the previous evening.  He was not really ready to go public with any of this.  Pratt would be sure to not spare a word for them either.

“Secret? I don’t have a secret.” 

Of course, that was the traditional line used by anyone who really did have a secret.  He was all about denial though.  He could deny it until he was blue in the face.  It wasn’t going to happen – and Pratt was not going to be the person to find out.  He was still working on what it all meant in his own head, didn’t need Pratt saying or doing anything stupid to add to the mess that was just now being cleaned up and formatted into a similar, but still large mess of progress. 

He could cease worry for a little while, however, when his heart started beating faster.  Pratt pulled up to the desk – the feet in place.  Excellent!  He was falling prey to exactly what Archer wanted.  He even reached for his schedule.  This was absolutely brilliant and Archer had to reign himself in from grinning so wide his face would hurt just to maintain the charade.  It was almost too priceless. 

“Greasy beards?  He has more than one?” Archer’s eyebrows raised, “I’m not sure if I want to know…”  He didn’t enter the cubicle – it was not his favorite place in the world and with two of them it would just seem like a small trap for two people.  Instead, he craned his neck to try and see over Pratt’s shoulder.  “What’s that?  Forgot to write in your diary last night, Romeo?”

It was now that Eddie found himself torn internally. Did he act like his usual self and wind Archer up by probing into this ‘secret’, relentlessly questioning him until he received another blow to the shoulder or worse, or did he pretend to be nice and mature and let it lie, Archer obviously didn’t want his dirty laundry and maybe dirtier secrets aired in the office.

Eddie was very rarely nice and mature. It was just a pity for him that the entry to his schedule today provided the very distraction the great big woman behind him obviously much needed. There it was, staring at him from the page like some evil...thing. Eddie’s face contorted as he glared down at it. He had not written that in. And he would not be going to see that...that...

Candice Stevenson.

Well there was no way Eddie was going to go. The mad psych lady would probably put his reluctance to see her and co-operate like a good little boy down to some repressed childhood desire to elope with a family of flobberworms or that octopus and electric complex he’d heard about from some really old Austrian muggle. As far as Pratt was concerned, there really was no point in her being at the ministry. Or at least there was no point in the aurors having to see her. Eddie was not about to start telling this woman his innermost feelings over a cup of herbal tea. He’d only just started telling his ex-wife how he felt about her!

“You er...you been booked in to see the quack?”The man asked quietly, dreading the answer. He tried turning to face his colleague but found himself quite literally stuck. His feet wouldn’t move. They were planted to the ground and he tried tugging them free. Nothing. Archer...

“You’re a dead man.”

Clearly, Archer had nothing to worry about.  Romeo was now so wrapped up in his own doom (the faked meeting with Stevenson that was going to plague him until right before he had to leave) that be completely forgot to continue to press him to answer to what he said.  Archer was so glad he had done all of these things before and had the foresight to pull more than one prank on the man.  He would just have to hear what happened when Pratt started writing anything.  He could not even wait for that. 

It was like a birthday present… for Archer.  A very belated birthday present in retribution for what he was given.  He tried not to smile at all, or at least more than he already had been though it was difficult.  He didn’t even think he would react like that – doe-eyed and completely smacked upside the head.  It was wonderful in the most supreme way.  Raising his eyebrows, he decided to change the angle he was going to take anyway. 

“The shrink?” Archer pretended to clarify from his spot in the doorway.  “No, not me.  I think you need to be referred for that sort of thing… no reason to send me to the head doctor.”  He shrugged his shoulders and started to move slightly backward.  He was going to turn around – and then he already started before Archer got the chance to bolt.  Another chance to just use it to his favor.

His eyebrows once again shot up and Archer rubbed the side of his face, looking just a tiny bit confused about the whole situation – easy to do for someone who could appear perpetually appear confused if he wanted to.  “I don’t even want to know what is under your desk, Pratt, but I can assure you it wasn’t me.   Maybe you should be more careful?”