His life didn’t seem to slow down, ever. Which, all in all, worked out all right for him. If he had excess time to sit down and evaluate everything, he’d be a very down and unhappy person. The times he moped about weren’t very often, and more when he was by himself at his apartment, finishing off some beers and trying to will himself to sleep. He’d stayed away from Miranda as well, making up excuses here and there.

After the date, he’d decided it wasn’t very fair to either of them to keep this relationship going. That, and he couldn’t stop seeing Rita’s face when Miranda gave him a certain smirk. Imagining her changing into the reporter… well it stopped any desire short. And that had been going on for a while. Still, he hadn’t exactly broken them off, even if they didn’t see each other very often. Now, though… he figured he could end it. For both of their sakes.

So after straightening his healer frock, he knocked on the door, waiting this time until he heard the okay to come in. Or what he thought was an invitation. Stepping in, he glanced towards her, slight apprehension on his face. “Hey Miranda.” Then he closed the door behind him, stepping forward towards her desk. Perhaps, for his safety sake, he should have left it open… No, no. She would handle this all right.

Why wouldn’t she? Wasn’t it Miranda who was all about professionalism? Jason needed to trim out some of the shady parts of his career, needed to straighten up and be a Healer when he was at work, and whatever else he wanted to be outside of work. If he was closer to his midlife, he’d worry if he’d hit his crisis. If anything, this just worried him about the future and how he’d react. Maybe it was all a myth…

Nevertheless, here he was. “I need to talk to you.” He’d been honest with her about the Rita thing; that had been both disturbing and revolting, for Jason. He hadn’t been honest with her about Quincy. Because… well why would it matter? His nose was healed up now, now all he had to do was hope the emotional wounds would start healing. Jason had done a lot of emotional damage in the past several months, from infidelity to lying to snogging his best mates wife… The date had, somehow, made him want to right his wrongs and start over fresh.

Because he couldn’t just keep going on as he was, or he’d end up in a place he didn’t want to go. Now, though, he had to decide if he’d prefer sitting down, keeping himself with a desk between them, or getting somewhat intimate. She deserved her reaction, whatever it would be.

“Hey Miranda.”

“Can you shut the door?” Miranda carefully placed the quill down on the table and her eyes slowly looked up to see who was stood in her doorway, now pushing the door closed behind him. Against her will, her eyebrows perked up slightly. Hadn’t Jason been avoiding er recently? Yes, she’d guessed and had just figured whatever was going on between them was sizzling it’s way out. That was fine, it wasn’t ever meant to be serious. But the last few times they’d planned on making the most of their unconventional relationship the man had ditched her. Wasn’t that supposed to be her job!?

“I need to talk to you.”

Taking the papers in both of her hands, Miranda scraped them together and tapped them on top of the desk. Andy finally set them in a neat pile at the side of her desk before shrugging her shoulders slightly. “No-one’s stopping you, Jason.”

“So have you come to apologise for breaking my heart these last few weeks?” Andy asked calmly, her voice as curt and to the point as usual as she leaned forward against her desk and waved a hand at a seat in front of the desk for him to plonk himself into. She folded her arms on the desk and awaited whatever he needed to ‘talk’ about. What a woman.

“Can you shut the door?”

Making a slight face, he looked to the door he was all ready in the process of closing. Honestly… he wasn’t raised in a barn. She was so used to being in control—well, he supposed today he would take some of that away from her. He’d just have to be careful to not let her slip into the role of the one who came up with it. Then again, it didn’t matter anymore. He just needed to finalize it. She wouldn’t care; or at least she’d made a good show of not caring.

“No-one’s stopping you, Jason.”

Jason watched as she shuffled her papers together, making them nice and neat. Usually she addressed him by last name at work… that made this feel a little worse all ready. Then again, they were alone. No one should be bothering them. And he’d been very, very keen on keeping things appropriate between them at work since the entire Rita fiasco (including the locker room, the memory of which caused a shiver up his back).

“So have you come to apologise for breaking my heart these last few weeks?”

He rolled his eyes slightly but took her invitation, sitting down slowly. He watched her a moment before he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, pursing his lips to the side. “Your sarcasm is adorable.” A small smirk came to his lips before he reminded himself why he was there; and it wasn’t to talk himself out of it. Frowning slightly, he rubbed his eyes with his index and thumb, sighing. It would be so easy to just give in and ask her where she wanted to go for dinner.

No. he couldn’t. “I don’t see why you put up—” No. No need to drag himself down farther. Letting out a huff of air, he let his hand drop between his knees and his eyes darted to her face. Quick and painless or dragged out and explained? He debated very heavily between both before he let out another breath. “I went out on a date.” He wasn’t going to tell her when. Or with whom. Just that he had. Then he shook his head, frowning slightly; she’d just take that and make a joke out of it.

“And I plan on going on… others.” That sounded questionable, even to him. Still, he kept going on. “I don’t want just…” How odd was it, to say he didn’t want a benefits friendship with no strings attached? Making a face, he let out a grunt. He was in no shape (or hurry, for that matter) to get back into any relationship. He’d shown how crap he was in the end, right? An affair with a former boss… Wincing at that, he rubbed his cheeks, chuckling at how ridiculous this sounded. “You should have a real relationship, Miranda. I think it would do you a lot better than being with me.”

And with that, he glanced to her finally, frowning in thought. ‘Being with’ Jason in the sense that they were intimate with nothing to hold it together. They weren’t together. She’d made that clear. And he’d not pushed it.

“Your sarcasm is adorable.”

“I try my best.” Miranda replied curtly as she looked expectantly over at Jason. Was he going to get on with it or stall like a little scared chizpurfle. Miranda’s nose wrinkled up slightly. Jason Marren wasn’t exactly in her good books at the moment for reasons that were pretty obvious. A recent encounter with Rita Skeeter obvious. Oh he’d told Miranda. Everytime he’d gone all weird on her, convinced she was about to turn into a scary reporter who only god knew how old she was.

“I went out on a date.”

What was Miranda supposed to say in response to that? ‘How dare you!?’ ‘I thought you were mine’? No. Andy nodded and pushed herself up from her desk. She smoothed down her black trousers before turning on her heel and moving over to a book shelf. “Congratulations.” There, simply reply. But was she really happy with the fact he’d been on a date. What did that mean for their already...floundering affair? He was already avoiding her!

“Well don’t let me stop you.” Andy frowned as she scanned the book shelf, her back to Jason. Better that way. She was confused and this was not a good think for Miranda Elliot. She didn’t like being confused. She was above that.

“You should have a real relationship, Miranda. I think it would do you a lot better than being with me.”

The frown deepened. He was ending their arrangement. He’d screwed up his marriage because of her and he didn’t just want no strings attached anymore. Or was it her? Was she too old? She bit her lip and once again nodded.

“Ok.” The healer replied as she turned around to face him, her face back to the usual stoic expression.

“I try my best.”

She tried did she? Here he thought she didn’t settle for anything but the best. Then again, her interest in him showed a serious hole in her settlement. He watched her facial expression, hoping she wouldn’t be completely in control of her emotions so he might be able to gauge how she was doing. Of course he’d told her about the Rita Skeeter incident. The first time after, he’d been convinced she was going to suddenly change into the scarily fake blonde reporter.

After so many years, it just had to be gray. Still… After some time, he got over it. She pointed out her tattoo, which he’d very easily forgotten. Had the fake Miranda had one? Jason didn’t recall it, and assumed that the polyjuice potion wouldn’t know about it either. He hadn’t even read through a Daily Prophet since that article for fear of having to read other embarrassingly open articles where someone over exaggerated everything.

“Congratulations.”

His eyes followed her as she stood up, watched when she ran her hands over her trousers, and frowned slightly as she turned her back to him. “I wasn’t looking for a pat on the back.” Congratulations? She wasn’t his mum. She shouldn’t be congratulating him for a date. He’d just been trying to ease into the uncomfortable topic as quickly and painlessly as possible.

“Well don’t let me stop you.”

He slowly pushed himself up from the chair, knowing if he went to her, he’d just end up giving back in. At the same time, though, he wanted that recent familiarity. By letting her go, by actually holding himself back and not jumping back with her, he was opening himself up for being completely alone. Sure he’d gone on a date with a pretty woman, but hadn’t the consensus been ‘friends’? Eddie wasn’t saying two words in his direction, he’d only heard from Quincy by letter. Fiona saw him as little as possible, and Aidan wasn’t very talkative yet.

It would be easier to go back to Miranda. To keep giving in. Then he wouldn’t have to face so much by himself. He took a few steps around the side of her desk, holding himself as he neared her chair, taking a step back, clearly torn on his face. He was glad that her back was to him for now, allowing him those moments to collect himself. “I wasn’t…” He wasn’t what? He didn’t need her permission, but also somewhat wanted her to cling and tell him she didn’t want him to be with someone else.

What a sadistic fool he was. Still… he’d spent quite a bit of time with her over the last few months, had found her attractive when he first met her, and had created a love/hate relationship since then. So wasn’t it normal for him to have some lasting effects? To want… her to want him?

‘Ok.”

His face did morph into bewilderment. “Ok?” That was it? He held his breath a moment before letting it out with a slightly deflated air. What was he expecting from her? Miracles? She’d only been into it for something to do. Hadn’t it been obvious she wasn’t quite that into him? He finally pursed his lips and tried hard (finally succeeding) to smooth his features over. He wasn’t going to be a woman about this. If she was going to act like nothing bothered her, he could too.

Finally he let out a slow breath, a guarded tight smile flashing to his lips before it fell away. “Ok.” He stood there, staring at her face, wanting to look away but knowing he couldn’t. He couldn’t back down today.

Jason looked slightly bemused by Miranda’s plain reply. She wondered what he honestly expected her to say in response to them ending things. ‘Please don’t do this, I’m begging you’? No, Miranda Elliot didn’t beg. Or show emotions like that. Jason wanted to end their little...set up and she could deal with that. It wasn’t like their relationship was important to her. It had just been something to keep her mind off everything going on over the last few months.

 That was it. It had been a little fun. Jason didn’t need to know that Miranda felt a little more about it. That she clinged to that closeness they had developed physically. No, he could just believe she was disconnected from it all. The ice queen. That’s how everyone else saw her and that was best for everyone.

“Yes, ok.” She confirmed once more before sitting herself back down in the leather chair behind the desk. What now? Her eyes flashed over his and she frowned. “I hope it goes well with this...date.” He’d found someone more suitable for him. That was better. Someone that would probably like to spend quality time with him and didn’t put him down and was willing to get close emotionally. That wasn’t Andy. He deserved to find someone that would.

“I’ve got erm...a lot of work to get on with. Can I catch up with you later?” Andy finally asked after an uncomfortable pause. She wanted him out of their right now. Time to focus on work. Stop thinking about him.

“Yes, ok.”

He gritted his teeth but took a slow breath, frowning back at her. She hadn’t given two knuts about them? He tried to swallow that little gem. Gripping his fists, he willed himself to loosen up. He looked down for a moment, pursing his lips slightly as he tried to think of something else to say. But there wasn’t anything. He’d been just something for her to use. Feeling a little sick at that, he took a small step back.

“I hope it goes well with this…date.”

His eyes flashed at that and he glanced up at her. Standing up a little straighter, he shrugged and put his hands in his trouser pockets, trying to give himself something else to do. He’d put himself out there for her; he’d shown her what he was like, gave her a look into his life and his personality that others at work never saw. And she was going to wall up and be… herself. “Mmhm.”

“I’ve got erm…a lot of work to get on with. Can I catch up with you later?”

Staring at her, suddenly defensive, he closed his mouth finally and grit his jaw tight. Always the worker. He finally shrugged and pulled a hand out from his trousers. “Sure, whatever works. I’ve got work as well.” Another shrug and he turned for the door, opening it a little harder than he meant to but not stopping to make sure it was okay before closing it a little noisily behind him. He stepped down the hall, pausing long enough to let his irritation shake through his upper body.

After a pent up, loud groan, he stalked down the hall. Maybe he’d owl Sam, go for a coffee. Even if the date had ended up with them just being friends, any sort of friendly interaction was better than what he’d left in the office. Down the stairs he went, back to his own office to work on whatever he could get his hands on. Maybe he’d finally get those reports written up. And if she thought he was going to go crawling back to her at the drop of a hat… well, she had another thing coming.

He meant it! He had meant it this time. She couldn't even give him the decency to show whether it bothered her or not. Well, clearly she showed that it did not. Not in the least. How maddening!