Hot in his back pocket, was the key to ultimate freedom. There, folded nice and neat was the best schedule anyone had ever encountered. Students bowed before it, eyes wide with envy. After happily receiving his lucky ticket, Gavin went back to his common room and slept most of the day away. His dreams lingered on Nicola for awhile and then turned to weird objects that made no sense. After that, he couldn't remember anything else. Gavin wasn't a dreamer, well he never was able to remember his dreams, but for some reason Nicola was in his mind a lot lately. The idea of having a girl take up his attention was disgusting, but it was Nicola after all. The girl he spent his whole summer with. The girl he lived with for two months. He wondered what she was doing now.

He was to be in Ancient Runes at 11:00, which was easy. Gavin didn't want to admit it but it was his favorite class. The idea of translating ancient language interested Gavin immensely. The only person who knew was his sister, who encouraged Gavin to be a Curse Breaker. After finishing class Gavin went to lunch rather upset. Of course his first class of the year had to involve people who he didn’t associate with. It wasn't like he was hoping for a couple of friends in his class. Many people found Ancient Runes to be a boring subject. Only gifted individuals... He stopped himself before he went into a mental war with himself. Clearly no one gifted was in that class.

Gavin was early for lunch; there were only a few people in the hall. Using this to his advantage, Gavin decided to start eat quickly. He didn't want to be pestered by first years like he did this morning. Gavin used to enjoy having girls come up to him, flirting. But now that he thought about it, he hated it. Maybe Gavin was growing up like everyone else after all. It didn't help that he was the best looking guy in the school, which was so true.

Looking around, Gavin had no idea where Devlin was. He needed to talk to him about a few things but he was nowhere to be found. While scanning the great hall, his eyes fell on a girl who interrupted his dreams. That wasn't Nicola, she was home safely. Was the girl talking to his... SISTER! Why in the world were his eyes playing tricks on him? Wasn't it bad enough that he had to endure a whole year of school without her? His face crumpled in confusion. He elbowed his friend Charles and pointed towards the girl.

"Does that look like Nicola...?" Gavin asked his friend. After a couple minutes of the two boys straining their eyes to see clearer across the room, Charles nodded his head and agreed with Gavin. So it wasn't just Gavin's imagination. Nicola was actually here, at school. Without telling Gavin...

Quickly getting out of his seat, Gavin walked towards 'Nicola' and tapped her on the shoulder. "Why are you here?" Gavin said harshly. He didn't want to sound too cold but he couldn't help it. Did Gavin forget something at home? That would've been a silly reason to be here, she could've just mailed it. He didn't want to go through a whole list of reasons why she was here; he didn't want to get himself pissed off. Part of him wanted to hug Nicola and drag her to his seat and then to the rest of his classes but the other part was infuriated. Did something happen?

Nicola felt guilty she had not told Gavin she would be at school with him this year after taking the last few weeks of summer to decided on the proposition that Analiza had given her. She had the chance to be Analiza’s assistant, she knew it would be a tough year but working for a name like that could give her a good reference in the end. Nicola also was not so stupid as to realize that in being Analiza’s assistant it meant that she would be at Hogwarts for another year, which meant another year to figure her life out and another year with Gavin. After a summer of seeing Gavin every day at meals, and spending time with him in their place the thought of not having him around for a year was torture. It was that fact that had been the defining fact in the decision. It didn’t matter that she was hoping to impress his family or that she felt almost obligated to be Analiza’s assistant, it really mattered to her that she was going to get a chance to spend another year with Gavin.

She had yet to tell him though, afraid that he would talk her out of it. She didn’t want to be talked out of what she had decided, and knowing Gavin if he really wanted her to stay at the Ministry he really could manage talking her into it. She had made herself a promise to tell Gavin as soon as possible once she was at Hogwarts. Well the chance had yet to come as since it was the start of the year Analiza was running her ragged already. She really didn’t blame the woman as it was just the start of class, but she had no time to talk to Gavin yet to let him know she was going to be wandering the halls again.

Apparently he was going to be the one to make the time to have a little conversation. She was getting a few directions outside the Great Hall and was marking them down on a piece of paper on her clipboard. She was nodding her head and was ready to rush off to do the required list when she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Crap,” she said as she turned around to look at him. Curling hair behind her hair as she did when nervous she looked at Gavin. “I work here,” she said sheepishly. “I am your sister’s assistant, she offered me the job this summer and I decided to take it.” Nicola looked at Gavin afraid he would be furious with her. “I didn’t want to tell you cause I thought you would talk me out of it, but I was meaning to tell you as soon as I had a spare moment.”

Did Nicola really think that Gavin was going to be okay with her decision to stay at Hogwarts? She had an amazing job opportunity opened to her, working under an unspeakable, who would deny that? Wasn't everyone curious as to what happened behind closed doors? He had no idea what to say to the girl. In the back of his mind he couldn't be happier that she picked him over her career, but in truth he cared for Nicola. She had so much going for her-- to pick Hogwarts over the Ministry, well it was a foolish decision.

"I can't believe you Nicola! That was..." He stopped; he could already see the crowd forming waiting to see Gavin's reaction. So he took Nicola's wrist and dragged her away from the Great Hall doors. He didn't even notice the wandering eyes looking at the couple, curious as to why Nicola was at Hogwarts. A few waved at them but Gavin pushed forward. Apparently Nicola was going to have a lot more time catching up now that she worked here. Not if Gavin could help it. There must be something he could do, strings he can pull to get Nicola out of Hogwarts and into the Ministry. If he didn't know better he would say she didn't trust him...

That must be it. Why else would she want to stay at Hogwarts? Confusion turned into anger. He was not going to have a girl who didn't trust him. He gave everything to Nicola; he made sure he was loyal and good to her. She wanted to look after Gavin! If this was about Jordyn... he was going to explode. Jordyn and Gavin were just friends, besides wasn't she Devlin's pet? Actually, Gavin had no idea what was going on with his group of friends. But this wasn't the time to think about that, he needed to deal with the situation at hand.

"Nicola, you need to get back home. Hopefully I can pull some strings at the Ministry so you can go back to your job. This, being at Hogwarts," he said with his arms wide with rage, "Is not where you're supposed to be, you're going backwards. This better not be about me. I can't believe you don't trust me Nicola. I have been nothing but loyal to you, I give you everything you want...

"And to lie to me about this... You didn't even include me in on this decision. When I first saw you I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, like I was going crazy but here you are." He gently grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Nicola this is not what I expected of you, I'm so... disappointed." He dropped his arms and looked at the ceiling.

As the anger of Gavin started to show she looked around at the people who had begun to crowd, this was absolutely none of their business. This was not the conversation she wanted to have in the open, especially right at this moment when she had a list of things to do for her boss. What was bothering Nicola more about this situation was not the prying eyes but Gavin’s reaction to her choice, he was obviously angry or frustrated. It was her choice whether she wanted to spend years trapped in the depths of the Ministry or find something else she wanted to do that was more her. She liked the outdoors, she loved quidditch, it was things she would be giving up to be trapped in the basement and a complete secret. She would never be able to talk passionately about her work unless it was someone else within the department that was not what she wanted for her career. Nicola just had to figure out what she wanted to do. At the time Unspeakable seemed a good idea, she had even mentioned it to her parents who were eager to push her towards that direction but after the summer and a bit of time at it the idea was not for her.

“This is nothing to do with you,” Nicola snapped back at him. “This has everything to do with me and not wanting to be an Unspeakable.” She glared at him holding the clipboard to her chest. “Maybe you sister saw that, I am surprised you didn’t over the summer.” Nicola looked Gavin over with pursed lips trying not to say something hurtful just to protect her own emotions. “I don’t want to work hidden in the depths of the Ministry unable to discuss my work.” Nicola was afraid to admit she only took this job with Analiza because she had no idea what she wanted to do now. She had prepped for years since her OWLs to get herself into the Unspeakable program. She just didn’t like it, couldn’t Gavin accept that?

“Disappointed?” She glared at him. “Don’t use that word on me Gavin. You are not my parent. This is my choice.” She was trying to keep a hold on her temper but it was getting harder to do. “You’re just disappointed that now I am here you cannot go off and flirt with who ever the hell you want without me know.” Nicola did trust Gavin she really did it was the girls she didn’t trust. “You know they would have been all over you. I don’t trust the girls here.” Nicola knew she was letting her emotions get into this conversation. “The fact I took this job has absolutely nothing to do with whether I trust you or not, and I do trust you. It has everything to do with the fact I don’t know what I want to do with my life and you sister gave me this opportunity.”

"Is there anyone I can trust nowadays...?" Gavin mumbled to himself while Nicola started to yell back at him. For Analiza to go ahead and ask Nicola about the job opportunity without Gavin's consent seemed unfair. What if Gavin didn't want to see his girlfriend at Hogwarts? Maybe he needed a long break from her after the summer. He kept trying to tell himself that, that they needed a break because they were getting too serious. Which was true, but he didn't want the break. He was afraid. As the days went on his wall that he tightly built for himself was slowly crumbling down. He didn't want Nicola to throw her whole career down the drain to be with Gavin, and even though she denied that it was the case, Gavin still thought it was. Of course Nicola wasn't going to tell Gavin the truth.  Why would she? No one told Gavin the truth.

He hated fighting with Nicola; it caused him too much stress. The more and more they fought, the harder it was to say sorry. That seemed to be the pattern. The making up part was easy but it also was terribly awkward between the two of them. They both hated to express their feelings. If it was up to Gavin he would just skip to the end where he would get to kiss her and everything would go back to normal. He wanted to do that, but it was Gavin who started the fight and there was no going back. He had to put his foot down because for one he felt betrayed and two he felt like he had to be watched every second of the day. It was bad enough that his sister was watching his every move, now his girlfriend was there too. There was no way he was going to be able to hang out with the gang this year without worrying where Nicola was and who she was with. The chance of freedom jumped out the window as soon as he set eyes on her.

"I don't need another Analiza," Gavin said coldly. He could see it now, Analiza walking through the halls with her usual 'positive' behavior. Nicola would act as her shadow, frantically writing down everything Analiza said. The two would be dressed in the same uniform... Suddenly his daydream turned into Nicola morphing into Analiza. He quickly snapped out of it and turned his attention back to his girlfriend. He shuttered once and then continued to try to listen to what she was saying.

"I KNEW IT. I knew one of the reasons why you took this job was because you didn't trust me. So what if I went around hanging out with some girls? As long as I'm loyal why does it matter? So I can't have girls who are my friends now, since when did you become my mother?" He knew he was going a bit too far but he wanted to hurt Nicola, he wanted her to feel how upset he was. "Don't make me mention his name Nicola because I will. You think it was easy for me to accept the fact that your best friend was a boy who worshiped the ground you walked on. But I trusted you. You better leave this job Nicola. You don't want this. I'm not acting like your parents, who were proud to have you work under the Ministry. You need to do what you want to do, not watch your boyfriend. That is just... sick"

Fighting with Gavin was hard and it was draining. She hated how stupid boys could be making such a big deal out of this little thing. Nicola was not here to watch him; she was here to work with the added perk of having her boyfriend closer. Now he could see that she was being faithful and not freaking out about whether or not she was doing something with some other guy back home. Nicola would freak out about the same thing and now she could know, but it wasn’t the reason she took the job. How could he be so blind as to not realize that the Ministry job as an unspeakable was not what she wanted to do?

“I am not going to turn into your sister, bloody hell I am my own person.” She snapped back at him. “This is just a job one so that I was not sitting at home wasting my savings just so that I could be happy. I don’t want that Ministry job and I am just trying to figure out what to do and this job is letting me.” Nicola should not be defending her reasons to Gavin he should just be there supporting her.

“You can have female friends! I trust you just fine! I don’t trust them. But I still stand by the fact that this is not the reason I the job. I took it to make myself happy.” Nicola glared at him and was fighting back the tears. She hated Gavin for making her this unhappy when moments before she was happy for the job she had.

“Don’t bring Kyle into this. He was my friend far before you ever came into the picture. I don’t care about him the way I care about you.” The words I love you almost slipped from her lips and instead she chose other words. “I hate you so much Gavin.” She rubbed her fingers over her cheeks brushing away any possible tears. “I am not leaving my job for you. My job is something I get to choose. You are not my father Gavin, you’re my boyfriend and you should support me.” Nicola wanted to smack Gavin. “I hate you so much Gavin you are a selfish ass, I should not have to come to you for permission for what I want to do with my life. I am here whether you like it or not. This is my job!”

Even though Nicola was telling Gavin that the reason for her picking the job was not because of him, he still didn't believe her. He wanted her to be happy and all, but for some reason he didn't want her to be at Hogwarts. Going back to Hogwarts seemed like a downgrade, and Nicola was too smart to stay here. She had so much potential. She shouldn't be wasting it on following his sister around just to get a good name with his family...

"Are you...crying Nicola?" Gavin asked. With every tear that rolled down her face felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, hard. He hated causing her pain. The very thought of it made Gavin want to throw up. His instincts were to grab her and hold her in his arms until she stopped, like he did in the past. But he didn't want to this time; he had to hold his ground because this was about Nicola's future.

"Stop crying Nicola, no one hit you." Staring down at her, he felt like he could see right through her. She was reaching her limit, he knew it. The both of them were. They weren't used to fighting like this. Students who were leaving lunch early started to crowd once again to see what was going on. "Get the hell away from us." Gavin yelled to the curious eyes. They looked at him like he had slapped each of them, and then they left knowing that messing with a 7th year wasn't the best idea. The students watching were only a group of third years, they were easy to jinx if necessary.

"Oh so now you hate me Nicola?" He laughed darkly at her. She was acting like a child. Of course she didn't mean what she said... Did she? Automatically Gavin put on his mask, hiding all of his feelings. The only thing he could do was laugh at her. He wanted to tell her it wasn't her decision if he wanted to be with others girls. She would just have to accept it or move on.

"And what if I told you I don't like you being here, that I need my space? Why do you have to be everywhere I am Nicola?" As soon as he said it, he wanted to punch himself right in the mouth. He didn't mean that, more than anything he wanted to be with Nicola at all times. But she did hurt him by saying she hated him.

Yes she was crying and what of it, as long as Gavin was the only one to see it. Of course right now Gavin seeing her tears made her feel like a weak and insignificant person. She told herself she never wanted some boy to make her feel this way, and the fact it was Gavin who was making her feel this way was heart breaking. “So what if I am crying Gavin.” She spat out his name as if it was something vile. “Why shouldn’t I be crying my boyfriend obviously doesn’t want me around, doesn’t give a damn about me, and wants nothing more than to cause pain to me.” She looked at him as she took a few steps towards me. “If you didn’t want me around why the hell did you ask me to move in with you, and why didn’t you have the balls to dump me before you came back to this school.”

Was he actually laughing at her? It felt like someone was just cutting her repeatedly making the wound deeper and angered. She could feel the tears falling, and they felt like they burned as they fell down her cheeks. “Of course I hate you.” Nicola looked at him. “I hate you because you are not supporting me. You are not being the person I feel in love with.” She slapped him, it was the only thing she could think to do. “I love you and you are just being a selfish teenage boy wanting nothing more than to snog anything in a skirt. You just don’t have the guts to break up with me. You might as well now as you basically have and hurt me enough that you might as well just finish it off.”

“I don’t care if you want me here or not, I am here and that is that.” She wasn’t going to be a coward and go and leave just because big bad Gavin said so. She wasn’t going to be that girl that ran away because their boyfriend dumped them or hurt them. She was here to be an employee; she had a job to do. “I have a job to do while I figure out what I really want to do with my life. You are just to stupid to understand anything.”

She turned her head and saw some faces just staring at them. “What the hell are you looking at.” She snapped at them wishing for everyone just to leave her alone. She didn’t want to be on display.

Gavin wasn't as heartless as many people assumed he was. He felt Nicola's pain, because it was his pain. He truly did love her and he hated to admit it. Deep down Gavin didn't want to be loved; he didn't want to be attached to someone else outside of his family. He barely wanted that. After losing his parents at a young age due to the war, he closed out all of his emotions. He didn't want commitment, what if something happened to that person? Then Gavin would be left alone again, helpless and weak. He didn't like feeling defenseless. All of the sudden Nicola came into his life and completely turned him upside down, even his friends noticed the difference. It's not like they would have made fun of him about it, because they all had their issues, so they welcomed the idea of Nicola. But on the inside, Gavin knew how they really felt about her. The little girl was dangerous. She had Gavin wrapped around her pinky, even he was aware of it.

He hated the idea that Nicola had control over him. Even the littlest amount of control made him feel upset. When he thought about the future he had to add her in on the plan. He couldn't just walk up and leave whenever he pleased. He had to let her know where he was and when he was going to be home. It was a nightmare, but it didn't bother him as much because he knew he would be able to experience some freedom with the guys at Hogwarts before he made a big commitment. He wouldn't have to hide things from Nicola, which he hated to do anyway. He wouldn't mind letting her in on the secrets him and his gang members had but the truth was it wasn't just Gavin's secrets.

"You know that's not true Nicola, I will always want you..." He said too much. His hand twitched. He wanted to cover his mouth but he stopped. He let his hand relax and started to look around the room, he suddenly felt nervous and uneasy about what he was going to do. It was like he was going to commit a crime; he was going to break the rules. He was fully aware when Nicola told Gavin she loved him. It wasn't the best time to admit it, but the little light inside of Gavin seemed to shine a bit brighter. He wanted to smile; he wanted to hug her until she couldn't breathe. But he couldn't.

When Nicola slapped him he just stared at her. Even though it was a little more than a sting, it hurt him emotionally. "I have to get to class Nicola, goodbye. Consider ourselves done." and he walked away without looking at her. He hated Hogwarts already. It was the first day and he already dealt with so much. He knew that when everyone heard about the break up, because Hogwarts was nothing but an infestation of little gossip flies, they would say everything was Gavin's fault. That he was being a jerk. But he didn't care. He had every right to be mad at her that she didn't tell Gavin, that she was ruining her future, and that she wanted to get all buddy buddy with Analiza.

Love is only an illusion, Gavin thought to himself. Nothing so pure and wonderful can last forever.