“Why are we here, Dad?”

Edward looked down at his son and forced a smile to find its way to his lips. He didn’t want to be here and he definitely didn’t want the kids with him. Charlie was still with his mum but the oldest two were trudging behind their Dad as he strode up the stairs, black robes billowing behind him.
“I told ye,” Eddie started, sounding a little more snappy and exasperated than he’d intended. “we’re visiting yer uncle.” The auror was always on edge when Dan was mentioned and even more so when he was visiting him. “Ye need to listen, properly, Noah. Ye ‘ent a blast-ended skrewt.”

The three of them wouldn’t have been here if it weren’t for the constant pushing Eddie had recently been receiving from all directions. Quincy insisted on seeing Dan and remembering that he was still a brother and his Dad never stopped going on about how he should take the kids to see their uncle. In order to stop people giving him these headaches, Edward had finally decided to give in and bring the kids with him, much against his better judgement.

“You’re too fast, Daddy.” Eddie heard his daughter whine and he span around to face her. “Come on, it’s just through this door.” His hard expression finally softened as he took the young girl’s hand and led the kids through the door.

“Now remember, uncle Dan might say a few nasty things because he’s ill. If either of ye wanna’ go, just tell me and we’ll leave straight away.” He added softly to them as they made their way into the ward. His eyes then fell on a man sat in the corner staring out of the window and he made his way over.

“Dan?”

He was worn out. That at least seemed a good excuse for why he was slumped back in the comfortably deep leather chair, his legs kicked out in front of him, his arms lazily hung on either arm of the chair, and his head lolled to the side, his eyes staring vacantly out the window. The most appropriate reason for his exhaustion had to be the mental attack he had on a frequent basis whenever the demon Healer was around to test her ideas out on him.

Of course, one could see some improvement in Dan. And by some, one had to really look hard and have dealt with him for a long time to see them. Like the fact that he seemed to focus quicker than before (maybe it only took a few minutes versus ten to thirty), or that he ate a good portion of his vegetables before losing track, or that he recognized people. That was a huge step. And he acknowledged them as well. Talk about progress!

But he could only take so much until he caved and lashed out and withdrew into himself. And for the past three hours, he’d laid in the chair, much as he was currently, staring out the window into the overcast day. Occasionally his tongue moved out slowly over his lips, a warm breath escaping and a yawn following suit, but for the most part, he just laid there. It was his ‘spot,’ as far as those went in a mental ward shared with quite a few other people.

Another yawn escaped him as he stretched out, lifting himself up slightly with his heels digging into the ground. Then his body slumped back and he licked his lips, his eyes never straying from the emptiness he stared out into. It was quiet in his corner… and the potions he’d been given to calm him down from earlier helped mellow him out to an extreme lethargy for a good couple hours.

“Dan?”

He continued to stare out, something trying to make its way through to the part of his brain he was functioning in. A full half a minute passed before he frowned slightly. That was his name… Who would be calling his name? Closing his mouth, licking his lips once more, Daniel pulled his feet in so they were flat on the ground, his trousers pulled up slightly so his matching green stripy socks showed (the same ones Quincy had brought him). Twisting his upper body towards the voice, he stared around, finally focusing in on the man near him.

He stared for a few moments in silence before he blinked, his head still resting on the back of the chair. What had he been doing? Why was he so stiff and sore? Pursing his lips and grimacing, he shifted slightly and sat up, forcing his head to hold itself up. Then he realized he looked very familiar. Suddenly he found energy, and he sprung up out of the chair—a couple nearby security paused in their conversation to watch Daniel closely, but for some reason (perhaps that he didn’t look like he was chewing on a box of nails and ready to rip apart anything that moved), they both settled back into their low buzz conversation.

Daniel grasped for what he could remember. A memory slipped by, a time when he yelled at a younger boy for being in his room, scared he’d found the Playwiz magazine under his mattress. Scratching his side, he stood there a few more moments before he finally stepped forward quickly. Before Edward could do anything, Daniel embraced him rather roughly (it had really been the first physical contact he’d initiated that didn't include a right hook). Before the startled guards could hop up with their wands, he’d stepped back, frowning at his brother. “Ed?”

At the point that Dan turned around to look over his shoulder at the three of them, Eddie felt Natasha grip his hand just a little bit tighter than before. She wasn’t usually shy but this was a very different situation to normal. The auror squeezed his daughter’s hand back without taking his eyes off his brothers. He was willing the older man to finally recognise him. If it was going to take as long as usual he’d pull up a seat and get out a magazine.

Daniel stood up from his chair and turned around. Noah crossed his arms defensively as he stared up at the man in pyjamas. Natasha instinctively took a step back, tugging on her Dad’s hand even more. Eddie remained still, staring defiantly at Dan.

It was after a few moments that Dan took a step forward and Eddie’s eyebrow cocked, he squeezed his daughters hand and his other shot into his robe pocket, in case the need for his wand arose. Like most aurors, Edward Pratt was paranoid. Especially when he knew what his brother was like. However, much to his surprise, a fist did not rise to make contact with his cheek. Instead the man wrapped his arms around his brother.

Eddie didn’t however hug him back. His body tensed as he stood perfectly still. It took a moment before the man’s hand reluctantly let go of the wand and he put a hand on Dan’s back, slapping it lightly.

Finally Dan pulled back and Eddie frowned slightly. “Well done.” It was definitely quicker than usual. He glanced down at his kids. “This is yer neice and nephew. Remember?”

It was odd to actually embrace someone. Especially when they went stiff as a board. If he had half his mind, he might have thought something along the lines of ‘no wonder Quincy told him to hit the road.’ But he wasn’t kept up with all the inner workings of the family, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he recalled how hugging someone should feel. He felt as if he hadn’t seen his brother in years, though, and felt that the hug, at the very least, was necessary.

Though he felt somewhat stupid, standing there, feeling the eyes of those around them bore into him. So when he received the slap on the back, he jumped in shock and stepped away quickly, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. Loud noises set him off, as did sudden contact with others. Luckily some of the potion was still having effect, and so he merely frowned as he put a safe distance between the two of them, more so for Daniel’s sake than anything.

“Well done.”

What, was he going to get a biscuit for it? Frowning back, he didn’t really know what to say to that. Didn’t really matter…

“This is yer neice and nephew. Remember?”

His gaze stayed on Edward; he couldn’t believe how old the pretty boy looked. A small hint of confusion came up, but he finally blinked and looked away, down towards the two near Edward’s feet, a little one clinging for dear life and the other standing as if he had the weight of the room on his shoulders. Niece and nephew? He stood there for a couple of minutes, staring intently at the young boy who seemed to be playing a rather good game of who would turn away first.

Still… Dan had insanity on his side. After a few minutes, he took in a breath and parted his lips, running his tongue over them. Finally he frowned again and shook his head slightly; part of him, some small portion, felt bad for not being able to remember them. Last time he’d seen Noah, and really remembered, he’d been a baby. Natasha had been after the accident that landed him in here, and so it was a hit or miss as to what his brain chose to remember. “I…” He reached into his trouser pocket, unable to find what he was looking for.

In his room, next to the bed and his drawer of socks were photos of family. His dad had taken the liberty to put names near everyone as well. So the faces caused a spark of recognition, but he couldn’t pinpoint it. Suddenly he recalled he hadn’t done his check. Reaching out, he tugged Edward’s trouser leg up, staring at the socks. They were a bit old… but at least they matched. Nodding to himself, he reached over and looked under the little girl’s trousers, letting them drop before he stood back up. Well… that was a relief.

Then he turned his attention to the little guy who was looking up at him as if he was waiting for Daniel to turn into a boggart. Squatting down next to the boy, he reached out and lifted the trouser legs. His eyes took in the socks. Then they looked again. No… no this wasn’t… One was stripped… the other was plain… and they were different colors! Eyes wide, he pulled his hands back as if they had touched something he didn’t want them to, falling back onto his arse. He frantically moved away, bumping into his chair he’d been in before scrambling up it like a mad man. Then he quickly turned around and started for his room.

A few minutes later, he reemerged, bringing with him a pair of navy plaid socks, clenched tightly in his fist. His face was red and he was breathing fast; a panic attack had set in and he was still feeling the effects. His sock issue streamed from his attack. They were still trying to work out all the reasons behind it, his phobia of mismatched socks… perhaps his attacker hadn’t been matching. Whatever the case, he was starting to hyperventilate as he got closer to his brother, but he held out the socks with a  shaky hand (he’d never really given anyone else a pair of socks, just refused to be in the same room as them). “T-T-T-Ta-Take ‘em… off… HE HAS TO-” Closing his eyes, he swallowed and tried to take a calming breath. “Wear these.”

As usual Daniel began to carry out his regular checks, Eddie watched him carefully. He’d forgotten about this bit. Maybe that showed how long it had been since he’d last visited. First him and the kids were checked as they went onto the ward and then Dan performed his own little mad man checks. And this would have been fine if hadn’t felt his daughter stiffen even more with worry. Apparently Eddie was right and it was about as sensible as putting a child in a dragon’s den as to bring her here. She was only young and had never seen anything like this.

Things only got worse when Dan discovered Noah’s individuality and Eddie’s eye widened slightly as his hand shot into his pocket for his wand. The guards started to walk over slowly and Eddie gave them a glare to tell them they should remain where they were. He still bore his auror’s badge on his chest, having recently finished a shift and most people didn’t dare disobey that look from an auror. He could handle his own brother.

However as Dan stalked off, Eddie could hear Natasha starting to whimper softly. He glanced down worried to see her actually starting to cry. “Hey, hey, come ‘ere, Tash.” He bent down and picked the young girl up, only to be surprised by how heavy she seemed to have become. Man they grew up quickly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head into his shoulder.

“T-T-T-Ta-Take ‘em… off… HE HAS TO-”

Eddie looked over from the crying girl to his mad brother and held his spare hand out to take the socks. “Alright. You gotta’ calm down first, though, Dan.” He said, staring straight into the man’s eyes, willing him to calm or they’d just leave. If Tash was scared of him, Ed wasn’t prepared to stay any longer.

The calming breath helped a little. What was it that his healers had told him? Cleansing breaths… think of something that made him happy. Well… not many things made him happy these days, but something that at least kept him calm. Calm… what an odd word; when he said it enough times, it didn’t even sound like a word at all. That wasn’t helping him stay calm… Calm… Caaalm… Calm! No. It just wasn’t working.

“Alright. You gotta’ calm down first, though, Dan.”

Somehow Eddie had made eye contact with him. And he couldn’t peel his gaze away, though he really wanted to. He turned his head slightly to the side, but his brother had him in a good lock. His hands shook while he gripped the socks. He wasn’t taking them… but he said he would if Dan calmed down. That word again!

His quick breathing didn’t slow down, but it didn’t get any worse. He kept his hand held out, his arm shaking a bit violently. Finally he dropped the socks between them, retreating a couple feet. He hit the chair and sat down rather roughly on the arm of the chair. He ran his fingers through his hair, unaware of the mess he made. Maybe he should just cut it all off; start over fresh.

And then he focused. His hands gripped and ungripped around the leather. He closed his eyes and hung his head, finally able to take a few deeper breaths, his chest not heaving quite as much. “Put… them… on.” He was calm! Calm was in the eye of the beholder, though, and Eddie was going to have to decide if his brother was an acceptable level. Clearly there were only so many calm sane people in the Janus Thickey Ward, and they probably would consist of most of the staff. He couldn’t account for all of them, though.

The auror refused to take his eyes off of Dan’s. He knew his brother could be violent and was well prepared for that now. The fingers of his free hand had enveloped his wand within the robe pocket and his other arm struggled to hold his daughter in place. She was heavier than he’d expected. Out of his periphery he could see that Noah was also staring defiantly at the man in pyjamas. Apparently Noah wasn’t scared, just a little nervous. Eddie was very proud of that boy.

Dan dropped himself onto the arm of the chair looking like he was trying his best to calm down. His hand followed a familiar pattern to a habitual move Eddie made. Brushing through messy locks of hair. The brothers did in fact bear a striking resemblance.

“Put… them… on.”

After assessing his brother for a few more moments, Eddie shifted Natasha on his hip slightly, getting comfortable before he used his other hand to support the girl as well. He glanced down to Noah. “It’s alright, lad. Just change them.”

Noah looked up to his Dad in slight confusion before picking up the socks. He wearily sat himself in a chair and started to change them. What was wrong with his socks?

Once the apparent disaster had been averted, Eddie walked slowly over to Dan and sat in a chair opposite him, letting Natasha position herself comfortably on his lap. Apparently she wanted her Daddy right then. He put a hand on her knee and an arm around her back for support. “We brought ye’ some o’ mam’s cake. Natasha here helped make it.”

He watched Edward, waiting for his little brother to say something to the effect of ‘no.’ That would make his previous outburst look like child’s play. His pent up worry, that fear that unknowingly set into his shoulders, fear he didn’t realize he had, and unable to explain what the fear was for if he did. Perhaps it was fear he’d never be himself; perhaps it was fear he one day would, and then how would he deal with how he’d been the past ten years?

Whatever it was, he visibly calmed as Noah started to change into them. He took a slow, cleansing breath, albeit a teensy bit shaky. He felt tired now. When Edward sat near him, Daniel merely moved around on the arm of the chair before sliding back into his previous spot, though he was courteous enough to at least sit up. He frowned in uncertainty at the little girl on Edward’s lap. Then the familiar, though a bit older sounding, voice cut through and he glanced up.

“We brought ye’ some o’ mam’s cake. Natasha here helped make it.”

His eyebrows rose as his face softened. A slight twitch in his cheek indicated his desire to smile, and he leaned forward in slight expectation. Involuntarily he licked his lips; it felt like it had been ages since he’d tasted that. What had he even been eating? A brief frown came to his face as he contemplated the question, and after a few moments he let it go, switching back to a thoughtful look, lips pursed and eyebrows drawn.

“Mam’s?” Sometimes his northern accent came out, other times the other voice spoke out in a different one… Right then, though, he was Daniel. A small smile came to his lips as he glanced off into space. “You sure they’re edible?” He blinked and sighed, looking up at Edward. It had been interesting growing up, those nights you wondered if you’d be alive the next morning because you were forced to gulp down whatever their mother had decided to cook. The nights you looked forward to when their father chose to do something in the kitchen.

Still… at the risk of losing a tooth, he desperately wanted some sort of memory to cling to; they all seemed to slip so far away. Swallowing, that lump setting in, he licking his lips again. “Let’s see it then. Natasha was it?” He gave the little girl a curious look, leaning forward on his knees slightly. “I’m sure with your skills, they’re fa…fantastic.” Then he realized she must be his brothers and he looked up in shock. “How…” He had nieces and nephews! Sitting back slightly, feeling a bit blown away, he put his hand to his head. “How old?” He got it out eventually.

“You sure they’re edible?”

There was a part of the Dan Eddie remembered. Maybe he was getting better. A smile graced Eddie’s lips as he shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable with the young girl and her bony bum on his lap. Eddie also remembered some of the more...interesting meals that were put in front of him when he was a lad. Unfortunately, he was presently receiving the same. Just until he could think of a way to get his wife back. Then he’d go back to her far superior cooking. There was another reason he’d married that woman. She made a mean Sheppard’s pie.

“Well Noah’s still alive and he had a few.” Eddie finally replied as he glanced over to his son who was still sat a few metres away, tying up his trainers. “’ent ye, lad?” Noah grimaced at his Dad before standing up and skulking towards the family. A typical teenage boy at the age of ten and Ed knew Quincy was already getting irritated with it. It was a pity the auror didn’t get to see his kids enough to get irritated. It wasn’t like he was living with them anymore.

“And we’re still alive.” Ed had decided that this was probably a nice time to try to refresh his brother’s memory. “It’s a pity mam actually thinks she’s a good cook. I lost a few teeth tryin’ to consume some of those rocks she called scones.” A grin appeared on his lips. “Remember the time we had those guests around and she set the kitchen on fire? Dad runnin’ around panicking because he’d left his wand on the surface that was now on fire.”

Then Danny asked how old Natasha was and Eddie glanced over at his daughter, giving her a nudge. She’d been oddly quiet, not normally a girl to be shy.

“I’m...I’m nearly seven.” The young girl finally stated proudly and Eddie smirked. Not six, nearly seven.

“And we’ve got Charlie. He’s a couple years old now. But he’s at home with Quince. You know, me wife?” It was too confusing going into ins and outs with Dan. He didn’t fancy explaining the divorce to a man that was probably just trying to think of ways to torture the spider hanging from the curtains by the window.

Why did he feel as if he had missed out on so much? How old was Eddie now? He frowned briefly as he looked over his brother’s face. He almost looked like he’d passed Daniel, with the lines and stress on his face. If he was that old… He frowned again as he realized how old he must look. After a moment, though, he shook his head. No need to dwell on things he couldn’t change right then. What year was it? What month? How many birthdays and anniversaries had he missed out on? How much life had passed him by?

“Well Noah’s still alive and he had a few… ent ye, lad?”

Glancing to Noah, Dan watched the attitude and only gave him a small smile. So Eddie was getting some of it back, then? All the moodiness he’d had as a teenager… right back at him. Good. That was how things were supposed to be. Just after his lips turned upwards, they fell back down, not used to moving the muscles that way. After a moment, his gaze moved back to Eddie, blinking slightly.

“And we’re still alive… it’s a pity mam actually thinks she’s a good cook. I lost a few teeth tryin’ to consume some of those rocks she called scones.”

They were alive… what did that even matter for Dan? He merely nodded in agreement, slightly, staring beyond Eddie now, a little lost in the space between his ears. How much time was wasted… how much more time would he lose? Scratching the side of his cheek, he let out a breath and shrugged. “It was easier to bite into a scone than let her tie some floss around em…” He hated when he was little and his mam would pull his loose teeth. Worst memories as a kid ever.

“Remember the time we had those guests around and she set the kitchen on fire? Dad runnin’ around panicking because he’d left his wand on the surface that was now on fire.”

A laugh escaped him (what was that sound coming from?), and another unheard of smile came to his lips as he shook his head. “Or when mam tried to bake that cake for yer birthday? I don’t think she even tried a bite…” Perhaps the cooking was the worst memories as a kid, now that he recalled. Now, though, it was all enjoyable memories. The Pratt boys had grown up around the kitchen, and food, and whatever they could stuff into their mouths. Unless their mam had a hand in cooking it.

“I’m…I’m nearly seven.”

Dan looked at the little girl, his eyes softening as he leaned forward on his knees. His eyebrows rose and he nodded. “I would have thought you were nearly eight. Honest.” Then Eddie was talking again, and Dan moved his gaze up, concentrating on his brother, biting his lower lip as he listened. Charlie? Another kid? He felt a small ping of jealousy; Dan didn’t have any kids… right? Slight confusion came over him as he tried to recall—no. he was fairly certain anyone he had been with would have long forgotten him by now.

“-at home with Quince. You know, me wife?”

Slowly he nodded, lightly cupping his hands together and looking down at them, letting out a sigh. “Yes… She was here the other day.” A moment reflection later and he let that memory go, glancing up once again at the little girl. Tilting his head slightly to the side, he finally responded. “Ye look like yer mam.” Glancing to Noah, he rubbed his chin in thought. “Ye going out for Quidditch? Look like you could be the next Seeker." Daniel hadn't played at Hogwarts, but had always enjoyed watching his brother.

“Or when mam tried to bake that cake for yer birthday? I don’t think she even tried a bite…”

Unfortunately that memory had still not been banished from Edward’s memory. In fact, if he thought about it hard enough, the man could practically taste the catastrophic concoctions his mother called ‘food’. In Edward’s opinion, it had never been specified properly as to whether the ‘food’ was intended for the dog, for poisoning unsuspecting thieves or for filling up her two precious growing boys.

“And she tried to blame it on whatever diet she were ravin’ about at the time.” A laugh escaped Eddie’s lips as he thought back. Their mother was really such a terrible liar. The look of horror as she extracted the black sooty slab from the billowing smoke that concealed the oven happened to give her away.

“Mummy says I act ten!” The young child on Eddie’s lap piped up when she was boldly told that she looked about eight. Eddie rolled his eyes before replying, “Yer mam says the same about me, love”. Quincy said a whole lot more about Eddie but those kind of things weren’t suitable for his offspring to be hearing. No, they could still think that their Daddy was an amazing superhero and the bestest Dad ever. He was very good at indoctrinating them to think that. Well not so much Noah anymore. Apparently thinking your Dad was cool wasn’t cool. But Eddie was still cool. He wasn’t six feet under, yet.

After mentioning Quincy, Eddie watched Dan’s face carefully looking for any recognition and he was most surprised to see some. Perhaps what his Dad had said was right, Dan was getting better. Eddie wasn’t seeing so much of this horrible person he’d seen in the last few visits. Dan seemed like....Dan. Well, maybe after having just woken up from a deep sleep.

“Ye look like yer mam.”

Natasha blushed and leaned back against her Dad, pushing him into the comfort of the chair. A grin had now flashed up on her small beautiful features as she watched Dan, probably no longer scared of him. Like her mother, Eddie could see she was going to be turning into a stunner and she knew very well how she looked. Natasha was only six and already using her big eyes and cute little pouts and smiles to get what she wanted. He just didn’t like to see that adorable little face frowning or crying.

“Ye going out for Quidditch? Look like you could be the next Seeker."

It looked like Noah wasn’t quite sure how to take this. He stood up from his chair and slowly started to walk over by his Dad. “I wanna’ be a beater.” The young boy stated as he kicked the leg oh Ed’s chair. After a moment, Noah turned to his Dad and frowned, shifting his weight lazily to his left leg and folding his arms.

“Do we ‘ave to stay here, Dad? He’s a bit of a weirdo.”