Dear Figaro,

I have a question. Do you remember SAWS? It stands for Students Against Werewolf Segregation. I'm trying to remember if you ever mentioned it, since you have some werewolf friends and are also friends with Fauna Blake.

Frank

Frank,

Saw your letter and was hoping it contained an update on you and Eirene but sadly you disappoint me with politics. I'll humor you: I am intimately familiar with SAWS. Don't even know how to emphasize enough how intensely I "experienced" SAWS. If Darcy Bloxham hadn't set fire to the Infirmary in the name of my friend Ollie getting kicked out of Hogwarts I may or may not but definitely was the least helpful supporter of SAWS. Learn from my mistakes:

1. Do not under any circumstances loudly tell the entire school that your friend is a werewolf and in part initiate events leading to a food fight and someone getting stabbed with a fork thereby getting the club in major shit with the administration

2. Do not under any circumstances write a Christmas song parody about a future auror being a werewolf because she kissed a werewolf causing a werewolf hunter to show up at school even if the song was absolutely hilarious

3. That's it. Don't tell people other people are werewolves. Seems obvious in the harsh light of consequences.

Who's running the club now? Any major incidents yet?

Figaro

Figaro,

Merlin's pants, Figaro. You are a complete disaster. How did someone not harm you?

No major incidents. It's going pretty smoothly. Zeta Pepper is in charge. She's from Hufflepuff so you probably know her. She's very driven, but it's good Osha and Ayla are involved as well. Oh, we have having a protest in front of Zonko's on next Hogsmeade weekend on 17 Mar. You should come! Maybe you can get the Daily Prophet to send a reporter, too. After we could hang out!

Frank

Frank,

Oh, Sophie definitely punched me in the face. Thank you for your care and concern, though.

I definitely remember Zeta. Ha ha ha, a protest. That's hilarious. I'll def be there. Can't pass up an excuse for yelling or see authority figures red-faced. I've got a reporter friend. I'll see if she'll come. Are you all getting eggs?

Figaro

No eggs! We are trying to help werewolves not get arrested! This isn't funny. It's serious. Please don't show up and be a problem.

Calm down. I'm kidding. I'd never do anything to undermine SAWS. Those days are behind me.

Proud of you.