Fig,

How are you? How's your leg? Everything is fine here. I have a question and I already regret asking, actually, so please try not to be a butthole. I know that's your usual mode, so I'm just asking you to try. Anyway, I think I might like a girl in a romantic way, but I'm equally sure that I don't. We've been good friends for two years which is what makes it complicated. When I tried to explain it to her, I just ended up hurting her feelings because I think she might have wanted to me to like her. But even as I told her I didn't like her romantically, I started to feel like maybe I did. It was a truly cringe-worthy conversation, actually. I feel like we understood each other less afterwords, if that's possible.

There's no question really, other than, how do you know if you like a girl? And following that, how do you know if a girl likes you?

Ugh, don't make me regret asking you.

Frank

Leg is fine. Miracle of modern magic

Also

You don't like a girl.

You are useless! Can you please just answer the question?

Ok, here's how it works, at least for me

Do you want to kiss her? If so you like her. If you don't want to kiss her, then you're just really good friends and that's fine. Guys can be friends with girls. Loads of my friends are girls. Sometimes friends get really close and try going out and it can make things weird but sometimes it works. Don't try to guess if she likes you, just ask. Guessing is an absolute mess. I tried not to think to hard about it.

Right then, so who is it? Cosima? Gwenna? Eirene? Whichever of the Peppers?

Figaro,

I will tell you who it is with a full understanding you'll be a dick about it, but I'd rather you didn't. So make an effort, please. It's Eirene. She's in the year above. We haven't actually discussed the status of our relationship but examination of the evidence seems to indicate she doesn't fancy me and if the Kiss Test is correct, I do not fancy her. Two people can be friends. I'm good with that. Although she did ask to hold my hand which confused things for a moment but so what! Two people can hold hands without getting married. I'll just be happy when it's not awkward anymore.

I have another question, but this one is more serious and you have to promise you won't tell Mum and Dad.

Frank

1. You are an incurable nerd.
2. I am 100% sure that matter is solved good luck bro
3. Did you get another detention? Because mum and dad will literally not care. They will probably b relieved.