In the evening after the SAWS meeting, Fire on the Tongue...



At night, the Slytherin dungeons took on an eerie green glow. Torchlight flickered green over the dark stone walls and the darkened windows that looked into the depths of the lake. Shadowy shapes swam past the glass, and when no one was around, Sulwen would watch the shapes and imagine the weight of the water surrounding them. She would imagine herself lost and hidden alongside the strange creatures of the deep. Sometimes she imagined the glass breaking, and water flooding the common room, and lifting up all the couches and chairs and tables, and extinguishing the flames, and washing away all their books and revision. She was alone or she would swim out alone, and she'd swim up until she broke the surface of the water, and then she'd float on her back and look up at the night sky. Arms and legs stretched out, cradled by water, watched over by stars. She wouldn't need to say anything. The sky already knew her.

Tonight, Sulwen sat with her back to the windows, at the end of one of the tables reserved for studying. She sat furthest from the fireplace where several older students lounged and chatted in low voices. The warmth of the fire reflected off their faces and chased away the eerie green glow of the torchlight.

On the table in front of her, she'd stacked her class notes, and atop those, she'd started several letters.

Dear Mother...

Dear Aunt Aileen...

Dear Grandmother...

She'd only gotten so far as 'hello' and 'how are you' in each draft. Every time the door to the common room opened, Sulwen looked up. She fiddled with her quill, wondering when Feliks, Nicola, and Rigel would return.

Not that it mattered! It didn't matter. What a disaster! She'd wanted to hear more from Lucinda before her outburst, but now she didn't care. Feliks and Nicola could stay if they wanted to and pretend that what they did had an impact. She was perfectly capable of walking to the Slytherin dungeons alone, and had.

It didn't matter that she'd kept glancing over her shoulder, wishing they'd followed. Wondering if anyone was talking about her, or had noticed her leave.

She dropped her chin into her hand glumly. She didn't belong there, and they didn't need her. The meeting had only proved that werewolves were aggressive, that Hufflepuffs were easily overwhelmed, and that Rigel couldn't resist causing trouble.

The door opened. Sulwen glanced up, stilled, and quickly dropped her gaze to her books and unfinished letters.

After having finished his talks with Ayla, he was drained both emotionally and physically. He made his way past the dungeon and into the common room where his housemates lay about. He could use a nice, non-stressful interaction right about now. Use his charm and wit, with a side of humor to become the center of attention in a good light. That would be nice for once, since he has been such an arse lately.

Sulwen caught his eye. She looked distraught with three or more letters strewn about on the coffee table, automen or whatever that fancy furniture that chaperoned a couch. He walked over to her after their eyes had met, if he didn’t he’d come off yet again as an arse, sat beside her.

“Hey, are you okay Soul?” Another name shortened just to show that they could have a friendly and amiable conversation. He meant no disrespect either.

As Rigel headed over, Sulwen started stacking her unfinished letters together, not caring if the ink smudged. Oops. He'd already seen them.

He smiled though, and sat near her. He didn't look judgmental. He didn't sound irritated that she'd left. Sulwen straightened and studied his face, wondering how someone who was usually so gregarious could have acted so callously earlier.

She felt disloyal, thinking critically about an older housemate. I'm Sulwen, she wanted to reply. Yes I have a soul, she wanted to add.

"I'm well, thank you," Sulwen said stiffly, glancing down at her books.

Her gaze strayed curiously to the door. Her stomach gave a nervous flop. Had the meeting just ended?

“Did I make you uncomfortable at the meeting?” He asked along with a beautifully compassionate smile.

He thought about his actions and admittedly regretted them. That was almost a first for Rigel. Wanted to make amends for any of his transgressions at any person during this meeting was the motive behind his compassion. It went deeper than that as well. It wasn’t just narcissism based restructuring of his self image, it was practicing empathy. Which he so desperately needed.

Rigel touched her shoulder, “I often don’t like to pry, along with the fact that I don’t ask twice so I don’t encourage a ‘chase’ of emotions. You look so pensive and solemn. Are you sure you’re okay? I won’t judge you and I will just listen. Regardless of our age, you’re in my house - I will always be your friend.”

None of these words were crass or abrasive. Spoken softly and adamantly urged with the gentle touch of his caring voice. He flipped his tones like a switch, to show her that he won’t judge her. Illuminate the fact that he will stay true to his word, he tried to care. He liked how he sounded, wondered why he didn’t start caring a long time ago.

He flashed her a smile and stopped his massaging. Mirrored her body language and showed no defense in his position.

Why yes, he had made her uncomfortable during the meeting. Then Lucinda had, then everyone had. Why was he smiling about it?

At the touch on her shoulder, she blinked in surprise, sitting very still. Her own family hardly ever hugged her, let alone reached out to her like that.

She shrugged tensely, turning forward in her seat to rest her elbows on the table and hide her chin in her hands. Sulwen tilted her head and listened, her arms still a barrier between them.

He was offering to be her friend? Rigel was a seventh year. Her friends sat with her in the Great Hall and in classes and studied with her in the library and made fart jokes about the professors, even when she told them they weren't funny. 

She glanced in his direction, not quite meeting his eyes. He wouldn't ask twice, which meant she could tell him to go away and he would. Still, she hesitated.

"I'm doing better than Lucinda is," she said quietly, mindful of the Slytherins gathered near the fireplace. Her hands lowered to rest on the table.

"I shouldn't have gone there in the first place. It's okay if I was uncomfortable, because it has nothing to do with me."

She paused for a long moment, aware that her words weren't quite right, but unable to articulate it.

Hungry as always, Feliks had gone straight down to the kitchens after the SAWS meeting. The house elves had been happy to ply him with hot chocolate and he had left with a little plate stacked full of freshly baked cardamom buns. One of the buns had found their way to his mouth by the time he stepped into the common room, looking around to see if Sulwen had ended up here after all.

And she had! Rigel was there too but Rigel was less important. Feliks joined the pair, mood buoyed by sugary treats.

"Hello!" he interrupted, setting the plate down on top of a stack of smudged letters. "Are you hungry? They are very good." Feliks plopped himself down on Sulwen's other side and glanced at the seventh year briefly. "Are you talking about the meeting?" his eyes flicked back to Sulwen.

She had disappeared after the werewolf girl hit Rigel. Maybe she did not want to see people fighting. "I think it is Lucinda's time of month so she is very moody. The full moon is only four days away!" Feliks chattered  before taking another big bite of his bun.

Rigel’s thoughts were abruptly stopped when Sulwen’s eyes met with Flix who then promptly came over to join and interrupt. Despite Rigel’s want to criticize the thinking of the first year, he smiled. Dropped his shoulders and relaxed, if Sulwen needed to be coaxed to open up and be emotional one on one he surely didn’t think she would open up with Flix around. He returned to his jovial manner in hopes to return to their discussion if Feliks left.

“Yeah, we are talking about the meeting. It’s a very stressful thing - the full moon.” He said with a smile and an even tone. He had just left the library with Ayla and he was in the middle of reading up on werewolves and their psychology.

Sulwen straightened at the sight of Feliks, bearer of baked goods. He was going to walk right past her. He was going to wave at Rigel and walk right past.

He sat next to her as comfortably as he always did. Sulwen blinked for a moment, her thoughts having no place to go, nothing negative to latch onto. She'd spent the past hour or so building it up in her head, imagining everyone talking about her or ignoring her.

Feliks set the plate of cardamom buns on her papers and was eating noisily. Letting out a small sigh of relief, Sulwen smiled a little at him and wrapped one of the buns in a napkin to eat later.

That's not what time of the month meant! She was not explaining that. His fathers had neglected their duty over the holidays. Even Reids had 'the talk' type of talks when they didn't talk to her about anything else!

Stressful. She nodded at Rigel, curious if he held a grudge against Lucinda for hitting him. He was smiling again - maybe he was trying to make her and Feliks feel better. Older teenagers smiled a lot and tempered their words.

"Did the meeting calm down after I left?"

A touch of hope entered her voice. Sulwen looked at Feliks, then Rigel for confirmation. The meeting must have gone alright because they hadn't returned to the common room until a few minutes ago.

Cole had followed Feliks from the meeting down into the kitchens. She playfully teased him for wanting more food after they had already had Supper, not to mention the sweets and cookies the blue haired Hufflepuff had plied them with in attempts to salvage the meeting.

She had been at his heels when they entered the common room but had made a beeline to the older students at the fireplace. Kyson had caught her eye and she knew she wouldn't have a moment's peace until she told him about the meeting. While omiting the details about Lucinda she mentioned  that the meeting had been a bit of a disaster and the older Hufflepuff's lacked leadership skills and organization. 

Cole managed to flee before he could ask anymore questions and came to sit next to Feliks only to find Sulwen asking how the rest of the meeting went. well if you had stayed for the whole bloody thing, we wouldn't have to tell you. she mentally her housemate while keeping her face expressionless. She had just finished explaining all she needed to to Kyson, she wasn't about to go through it again.

             "Did the meeting calm down after I left?"

"Shesh," he replied through a mouthful, and then noisily swallowed. "Sorry. Yes! Zeta made Rigel leave and then it was okay." Feliks finished his bun so he began poking around the books on the table - stomach satisfied, his brain needed something now.

The young wizard  glanced distractedly at Nicola with a smile. "Nicola was nice to Lucinda," he picked up a Transfiguration textbook someone had left lying about. "But Lucinda is very shy. I don't like her but I do not think it is her fault, yes?"

Feliks flicked through the pages. He had grown up with children this age and also ones older like Zeta and Rigel. Fights were normal, especially because they had all been squibs and had to fight with their hands. The incident in the classrom was confusing but it did not surprise him too much.

"I do not know if I will go to another meeting," he remarked, shrugging. "Maybe if you and Nicola go?"

Rigel sat back and observed his fellow housemates. He waited until it was his turn to speak, grabbed the nearest book of interest on the table and began to read.

His most prime concern was Sulwen being okay, then having a talk with Feliks about werewolfs and times and months later. That would be... interesting.

So Zeta had made Rigel leave. Rigel was reading his book and listening now. He could sit and be unobtrusive when he wanted to, but like many Slytherins, he had to really want to.

When Nicola sat next to Feliks, Sulwen glanced at her searchingly, then looked down again and started fiddling with a book on the table. Nicola sat at the table, but next to Feliks - she was always next to Feliks.

Feliks!

"It's not her fault that you don't like her?" Sulwen arched a brow, a flicker of amusement in her eyes. He must mean that it wasn't her fault she was a werewolf. Feliks had the funniest phrasing sometimes.

Her amusement faded at his question. She shook her head. It had gotten better after Rigel had left, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd made a mistake in attending.

"It's for students who already know everything about werewolves," she picked at the corner of her book, her voice dipping. "And for those who want to fight for no good reason."

Sulwen sent a frown at Rigel, emboldened by his seeming interest in his book. He'd kept talking about fighting. Even Zeta had said something about it. Or was that about breaking rules?

"It's for students who already know everything about werewolves, And for those who want to fight for no good reason."

"Well it shouldn't be." Nicola said plainly, "They'll have a hard time getting new members if they're only catering to such a small percentage of people."

She glanced over at Rigel, wondering if the older student was still going to be part of their conversation, "If they want people to have sympathy for their cause, namely werewolves, education needs to be an important part of that."

She gave Sulwen a small smile, "You not knowing isn't your fault. It's theirs. They should have done better and they simply didn't" she looked to Feliks, "but I would be interested in going again."

            "It's not her fault that you don't like her?"

Feliks laughed, shaking his head at hearing his words in Sulwen's mouth. Poor Lucinda did not want to be a werewolf but he did not like her because she was weird and not fun. And maybe that was also not her fault. But he liked Sulwen very much, and was surprised by her reaction to the meeting.

Nicola butted in with just the right words. "You not knowing isn't your fault. It's theirs. They should have done better..." the other Slytherin girl insisted, "... interested in going again."

"Me also!" he agreed before looking at Sulwen eagerly. "If you want, I can tell you all about werewolves. I read this book[1] I go--" Feliks suddenly stopped with a glance at Rigel before turning back to her. "I will tell you later."

Rigel and the others did not know about the book. Nicola knew... so did the Headmaster and Uncle Sylvain. And Zeta, but only because she was there[2] when he got it.

"It is alright, Sulwen. We can go to watch and see what happens, no?" Feliks continued cheerfully. "And if there is fighting again we don't have to go. We can be our own club."

1.	15th Oct '11 - Spill this Blood for You - Feliks received a copy of The Lycan from an anonymous sender.
2.	15th Oct '11 - Someone Likes You

Nicola didn't often smile, but when she did, she meant it. Sulwen smiled back, a slight upturned twitch at the corners of her mouth. It was her own fault, in a way. Her mother often advised her to know what she was walking into, to know the answers before raising her hand, and to be responsible for her own education. It had taken a lot though, just to show up to that first meeting.

She nodded, with interest and some amusement, as Feliks mentioned the book he didn't want Rigel to know about. What could that be about?

"I've read a few books," she admitted sulkily. "But they don't say much beyond listing regulations and offering potion tips."

She hadn't found anything that explained how werewolves felt and what they experienced.

Her mind flashed to Lucinda, curled in a ball, stammering and in tears, her scars showing. It made Sulwen want to reach out and it made her want to jump back, remembering her snarling at Rigel. Was it worth it, to fight for someone who got into fights? Feliks and Nicola were willing to go back, but they had limits, too.

She shrugged her shoulder and picked at her stack of letters. Sulwen didn't know if she'd be back yet. She'd rather go to dueling club for fighting.

"What sort of club would we make?" Sulwen asked with a trace of teasing in her tone, feeling a little better. "Students for biscuits and books?"

She poked the platter atop her textbooks.