12:36pm

This was good. Too bloody good.

It was like Christmas had come 3 days early. Edward Pratt was grinning from ear to ear when he came back into the Auror Headquarters after a tête à tête with a division head of particular interest from Level 4. Cepheus Gamp, he knew well. They’d been at school together. He didn’t have a fat lot to say to Spectre. Whoever was in charge of spirits? Well, he couldn’t even name them. No, this one was new. New and interesting and making him grin so damned broadly as he expertly picked his way through the maze of cubicles to arrive at the cubicle of his favourite wannabe senior auror. Well, favourite was a push. She intimidating him a little if Ed was going to be completely honest.

When he did arrive at the cubicle of Auror Zora Roh, the Head Auror was still grinning like a five-year-old on his birthday. He stopped at the entrance to the cubicle, looking down at the wild haired witch sat at her desk.

When she looked up at him, he still said nothing for a moment. Only staring down and grinning. Ed didn’t tend to pay a fat lot of attention to the private lives of his aurors. If they wanted to keep it private, let them. Up until his life had been dragged into his job, he’d tried very hard to do the same. Therefore, he may have missed the fact that crazy feminist sunglasses make me look cool Roh had a wife.

“When the boss asked me to go see Bruce on Level 4, and he told me not to get you involved because you were married, I expected some big burly wizard. Bruce is a man’s name. She is most definitely a woman.” He grinned further. She was an attractive woman. Roh, very surprisingly, had taste.

Zora Roh felt a disturbance and swivelled in her chair. Ed Pratt was darkening her cubicle door grinning like an Obliviated idiot. How he got promoted to top Auror was still under investigation with the Department of Mysteries, she had to believe. Because it was an utter damn wonderment. How much law enforcement skill could he possibly have that would outweigh his obnoxiousness. Zora just sat there, dominating her chair and hiding her preemptive irritation behind a blank stare.

And then his purpose was made clear. He'd found out about Iona. She smirked at him, a sleepy totally unimpressed smirk.

"Well spotted, Pratt. Earned your badge for the day."

She tapped the handle of her wand on the arm of hair chair absently.

"That it? Just wanted to share?"

Zora was rude and moody and seem to have rather the superiority complex. She clearly didn’t like being managed by someone like Ed Pratt. In fact, she clearly didn’t like Ed Pratt. For Zora, that was rather unfortunate because it meant that Pratt enjoyed irritating her further. He had learnt, however, not to mention the blob or anything else mildly sexist because she would complain nd yada yada he’d be in trouble blah blah blah.

Ed did quite like Zora Roh for all her annoying punchiness. She was energetic and a bit like a yappy dog after some steak. He liked that and it meant she worked hard. Her lead needed tugging occasionally, but that was manageable. It was why he’d basically dumped her with the trainees. Who knew, maybe she was the maternal sort. Either way, she took on the extra because she was eying up a juicy promotion.

And, as it turned out, she had a wife who was well above her in Ministerial superiority. That must bite!

“Why keep it a secret?” He asked, showing no sign that he was about to go anywhere. “She’s hot. In a just come out of the woods, I’m a soulless ginger kinda way. Was it about keeping her for yourself? I’m impressed. Always imagined ye wi’some grey wizard in grey robes who eats plain toast. Ye know what I mean?”

He was baiting her. Zora from ten years ago would have hexed him into last week for speaking so freely of her partner. But Present-Day Zora had a bit more restraint. Well, enough that she didn't turn her wand on his big mouth. Didn't mean he wasn't pissing her off, however.

"You know, no one ever asked," she replied testily. "And if they had, I'd've told them to walk off because my personal life's my business. Not everyone's so happy bringing their kids into work and moaning about their love life. But then, I'm not in desperate need of pitying attention."

She shrugged.

"She was in Werewolf Capture Unit for, what, twenty years? Call yourself an Auror?" Zora couldn't actually hold him to fault on that. Iona was begrudingly compliant with Zora's wish not to spread their personal life around the Ministry. Not only was Zora private, but there was something vulnerable about criminals knowing your weak spots. And Ed Pratt. But the cat was out of the bag, wasn't it? The sexy, wood nymph, flame-haired cat. Zora wondered happily what Iona would do if she heard what Pratt was saying.

"But I'll pass on your regards. Sure she'll be happy to hear, what was it you said, 'hot, soulless ginger'?"

Oooh his favourite almost but not Senior Auror tried to dig the knife in, didn’t she? Not everyone actually shared that they were a real breathing feeling human being, sure. Auror Roh certainly didn’t! Up until now, Ed truly had believed that she was either a spinster with 6 grey cats or in an unhappy marriage with a grey husband with grey hair and a grey personality. No one could be that moody with a happy home life, could they? Turned out Zora Roh could be, because her wife was hot. You couldn’t be unhappy with a hot wife, even if you had Zora Roh’s personality and evil glares.

“I don’t play with the Werewolf Capture Unit, Roh. They’re adrenaline junkies who drink too much.” At least that was the reputation that lot had. It turned out, this frosty icicle’s own wife had been the squad leader for that group of adrenaline-chasing alcoholics. Who’d have known!

Roh seemed totally unfazed by the fact that her secret was out. Like she just took hot wood nymph for granted. Wasted! Wasted on the icicle!

“Pretty much, yup.”

Aurors were, as a rule, curious wixes. That curiosity kept Edward Pratt stood in the entrance to Roh’s cubicle, where he now rested his arm on the wall, leaning against it. It was like a sport, poking the troll for information to see what he could get.
“So, what’s the big flaw? Does she have 16 toes? Halitosis? Oooh, a teenaged drunken tattoo of a troll on her arse cheek!” Something had to be wrong with Bruce the hot soulless ginger. Why else would she chose to live with and marry Miss giggles here?

Oh, Merlin, she wanted to hit him. Put her wand down, get up from her chair and just, bam. Maybe if he couldn't breathe he wouldn't talk so much? Instead she leaned way back in her chair and with one hand, slid on her dark sunglasses so only her smirk was showing.

"Flaws? Nothing so far, Pratt, but I'll keep looking."

She took a deep breath and let it out a sleepy groan.

"What do you want, Pratt? Not this, right? You have actual work to talk about."

It would take all the Seers on Level Nine to divine what was wrong with Ed Pratt and his disaster of a life and rotten soupy brain. If Zora wasn't under orders to steer clear of Mysteries she'd have commissioned an inquiry. For the betterment of magical-kind.

Someone needed to tell Roh that sunglasess indoors was not only stupid, but made someone look blind. No one wanted a blind auror. Blind aurors weren’t possible. They were liabilities. Like a vampire consultant or a werewolf head of the werewolf wing. All massive liabilities. All going to end in disaster.

Not only did Zora look ridiculous, but she was also lying to her boss. Of course, the hot wood nymph had a flaw. Everyone had a flaw. The ginger hair was enough. No, choosing to live with Zora Roh, wizard hater and sunglasses indoors wearer was the biggest flaw. Witch must not be right in the head.

“I do have work to talk about, yes.” Pratt nodded before grinning.

But what came out of Pratt’s mouth was not about work. He just couldn’t resist when it came to mind.

“Do you wear the sunglasses at home?” It all made sense, when one thought about it. “I suppose your eyes might get burnt looking at that hair every day. I might suggest we all wear them to cope with Trevelyan. Good idea, Roh. Gotta protect that sight.”

Zora was stunned for a moment, stunned at rock-bottom immaturity. They let this infant carry a wand? Zora was reaching to remember a time where he'd really impressed her at all, and she was coming up dry. Not because it had never happened, but probably in the glare of his devilish, punchable smile.

"Oh, go away," she said with a sneer then swiveled away in her chair. So what if he was her superior in the corps, he was just loitering around gloating about nothing. He liked to see her squirm and if she continued to give him attention he'd just keep going.

She liked her sunglasses. They made her look cool and even though she'd long perfected a poker face, she found they provided a nice degree of separation when dealing with suspects and witnesses. They weren't going to find any warmth in her pretty eyes unless she wanted to offer it. Pratt was immune, apparently.

"Bother someone else," she added without looking. and started flipping through files in her stack looking for some work to pretend to do until he left.

So very grumpy. To be fair, Ed was quite happily poking the basilisk. He’d always liked to give Zora Roh a poke and see what happened. Heck, he liked to give anyone a poke and see how they exploded. Pranks, jokes, jibes, anything to get through the day. Sunglasses worns indoors by Zora Roh was perfect. Finding out that Roh was in fact married to some hot ginger instead of Mr Grey Grey Grey was irresistible.

If Roh wasn’t so easy to irritated, Pratt would have backed off. If she was scarier or his superior, that would also have helped. No one had even seen him poking at Tamis Raynor like this. She’d intimidated the hell out of him. Roh? Not so much.

Bother someone else…

Pratt didn’t move.

“So ye don’t want to know what ye’ve bin put forward for?” He smirked. “What you’ve been asked to lead on? You’ve been requested, Roh.”

Zora tensed up over the file. Pratt didn't leave. He was still there and had changed tactics like the slipperly little interrogator that he was. He could wear anyone down with his impish good looks and devilish mind games. Zora had historically been nearly immune because he never had anything to lord over her. But now he had two things. Ed knew what Zora wanted.

She touched her forehead to clenched hands and quieted a sigh.

"You don't have anything," Zora said without looking up or turning around. "Go hump someone else's leg."

Hump someone else’s leg. Not the way to speak to your superior, at all. Eddie’s grin didn’t falter and he stood exactly where he was.
“Senior aurors don’t address their superior in such a manner, Auror Roh. They set an example. They are excellent role models to those they train and lead.” Ed had skipped senior auror and jumped straight to Head auror, bypassing many of his colleagues. He was quite aware that several still wondered how. But here he was, doing a good job while still sporting dashingly good looks and a knockout smile. “I thought you had what you needed in you. Clearly, I was mistaken.”

He still didn’t move. He had, after all, approached Roh’s cubicle with more than the intention of annoying her about her lack of boring grey husband.
“Mrs Zora Roh wants you to train up her Capture Unit. Get them all apocalypse ready for if they run into Tawse or some other big nasty again.” For Ed, it was easier to joke and talk jovially than with any seriousness. Tawse had been the driving force behind MacDuff, the direwolf to murder his parents. Staying light-hearted was easier, it made him less likely to need to lock himself in his office and break something.

“It will be good, for your application.” From his robe pocket, the Head Auror pulled a scroll and dropped it on the desk in front of Roh.

There was no version of reality where Zora Roh would ever suck up to Ed Pratt. He could be the goddamn king of the world and Zora wouldn't stoop to kiss his arse. They day he stopped busting her balls was the day she'd gentle her words to her 'superior'. She was running out of ways to tell him to go away. She'd never pushed him so far as he'd be forced to pull rank, but she was getting close to testing it. Maybe she should just leave.

And then he called her 'Mrs.'. She turned and glared at him cooly. Her marriage status had zero relevance in the Corps. She almost didn't listen to what followed. And when she did, it took the scroll on her desk to begin to dissipate her skepticism.

"My application," she echoed, unable to hide a hint of surprise.

She unrolled the scroll, keeping an eye on him intermittantly as she scanned it. She half expected a howler or some other kind of stupid prank, but none came. It was Auror Corps boilerplate, the dozens of fields to fill out and a spot for signatures at the bottom.

"Seriously? What's the game?"

It was always nice to surprise people, Eddie found. Too many people tended to think that he was merely a clown, a prankster. Clearly, Auror Roh was one of those people. Even with the application form a solid object in her hands, she was questioning it. Eddie rolled his eyes and shifted his weight, crossing his arms.

“Do you not talk to each other?” Basis for a poor marriage, that. Ed should know. “As I said, Mrs Roh…Bruce, wood nymph with a walking cane, wants you to train up the WCU in how to handle an opponent with a wand.” He spoke slowly in his thick accent, as if she were deaf or dumb. Probably both. “They’re trained for wolves, obviously, but a criminal wix is different and she wants them prepared. I think it’s the perfect job for ye, and that’s the sorta stuff we’re lookin’ for fer ye to get yer promotion.”

Honestly, she always thought he was up to no good.
Ed now grinned across at her.
“So, how about a ‘thank you Sir’?”

Zora had one of the best poker faces on Level Two so she was able to deftly hide her excitement that she was finally up for a long overdue promotion. To be fair, she'd been sitting on her hands about it and only recently started getting after it. The fact that it had to come from Ed Pratt had put her off. And this was why.

She'd sooner eat her sunglasses than address this particular superior as 'sir'. She'd send Cinead Tawse flowers for his birthday, she'd kiss a dung beetle, she'd let Waverly give her a makeover before she'd call Ed Pratt 'sir'. But this was the first time he had something she wanted.

Under her stony facade a battle raged. Relent and keep her promotion on track, or tell him to shove it and spend the rest of her career watching everyone else pass her by. There really wasn't a choice here. It was just three words. Just three words, Zora. Just swallow your pride, suck it up, get the job done.

With a restrained sigh and what she hoped was a totally unflappable blink, Zora opened her mouth and said it.

"Thank you, sir."

It made her stomach turn.

Well that wasn’t so hard, was it? Now, thinking of it, Pratt wasn’t so sure that this particular auror had called him ‘sir’ at all since his promotion. Perhaps an issue with clear authority. She’d learn, because she’d need to give the appropriate respect in her new role.

Regardless of the clear difficulty, Pratt shot his favourite moody auror an award grinning grin. Everyone loved that grin. It was a sexy grin. Even Mrs not in love with Mr Grey robes should love the grin.

“You are most welcome, Auror Roh.” A nod, and pat on the shoulders, and Ed turned on his heel to leave her in peace.