After lunch hour, Level 2.


Carstairs was having a late lunch elsewhere, according to her insiders intel, so Koko didn't feel too nervous about walking into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement today. Only a handful of people here knew that she was actually Lil Snigger - a few aurors or officers who had been sent to investigate the usual threats from angry readers - so she counted on not running into any of them during this quick mission. The welcome witch in the foyer was an easy mark: she was Koko's source! And a great fan of Witch Weekly. They chatted for a bit before the reporter slipped past determinedly and headed straight for Carstairs' waiting room.

A couple of aurors were just leaving as she entered, flashing them a quick sycophantic smile. And then her gaze set itself on the redhead squib behind the desk. Abigail Reid. The PA who had, for some reason, been sending her photos[1] of Bachelor's List bottomfeeder Virgil Carstaits. With rubber ducks.

Koko had disregarded the first photo as a random, eccentric bit of fan mail. But then there were more, and she began to suspect that it had something to do with all those forged letters going around. It was time she took matters into her own hands and did a little snooping. And nobody snooped like (the late) Lil Snigger.

"Hi!" she grinned at Abby, setting down her bag and opening it to take out the three duck photographs. "I'm Koko Yukawa, for Witch Weekly. I've been sent down to ask a few questions about these," Koko set the pictures down in front of the girl. "What's the story behind the ducks?"

It was easier to pretend she was some random writer from the paper, being sent on errands for filler articles. Nobody was about to be scandalised by anything people did at Stardust. They were actors, for Merlin's sake! Besides, with Lil Snigger officially[2] gone, people were probably less snappish.

1.	Absolutely Quakers - 27th Sept onwards.
2.	A Heavy Heart - 1st Oct

"Hi!" Abby grinned back, about to tell the newcomer that Mr. Carstairs was out, for real, his office was dark and it wasn't an illusion spell. She didn't get the chance though, distracted from her memo-writing by the young woman's introduction and the pretty green bag with red trim set on her desk.

She blinked at the last name Yukawa, for a split second worried that her sister-in-law, Asami, had sent a relative to tell her to stop filling Sulwen's head with pink glitter, humor, and the idea that she could be friends with everyone. Abby glanced at the door, surprised and a little concerned that someone had sent a reporter in without any warning.

But then Koko Yukawa pulled out the three photos.

Abby laughed, tilting her head back. Yes! The duck pictures! She couldn't believe (but almost had hoped) they would ask her about them!

"I'm sorry, it's just - give me one second," Abby smiled at her as she lifted her quill and shot off a very quick memo to Virgil.

Laughter e-mer-gency!! W.Wkly is here, re:the duck photos!

Abby held it in the air, and let the auto-memo flit away. She focused her attention on the reporter, managing to refrain from further giggles.

"So, Little Snigger didn't explain? Or she didn't get a chance to before she left?" Abby wondered diplomatically, knowing full well she'd been fired.

"Or! She never received these at all?"

Abby titled her head, her smile dimming fractionally. Damn! She'd hoped the intended target of her silliness would at least see her responses, but that was life.

She didn't know who the memo was for - if it was some piece of unfinished assistant work or if Reid was calling in the big bad boss - but Koko kept her cool as the squib continued to giggle like a drunk bat. This was going to be dead easy. The girl was obviously a chatty one, best kind to squeeze for details. What was Carstairs thinking hiring her as his PA anyway?

            "So, Little Snigger didn't explain? Or she didn't get .....Or! She never received these at all?"

"Snigger definitely saw them." Koko assured with a gossipy little smile. "But she didn't explain. Just threw them at us and did her thing. Such a flake. I mean, I really don't understand the ducks...." she glanced down at the photographs and wondered if Queen G would find them worth a light piece on a slow news day.

Stardust was low on her priorities. People weren't scandalised by actors doing whatever it was actors liked doing, unless there were threesomes or orgies involved. Koko leaned against the desk and gave Abby a pensive look.

"Like, did Snigger write to you about ducks?" she raised an eyebrow. "None of us at the office have any idea about the rubbish she's been sending people, you know."

Abby returned her smile easily, lifting one shoulder in shared confusion. Maybe Little Snigger had known she was going to get fired, and decided to cause mayhem for the rest of the staff before she left. Though she was surprised that Witch Weekly bothered to follow up on Snigger's last hurrah at all. They must be suffering a dearth of juicy articles. Or perhaps they were planning a more in-depth apology after that last editor's letter.

"She sent me a very strange letter, and I responded in kind, basically," Abby gestured at the photos. "She asked for ducks and she got ducks."

She glanced at her boss's office, confident she'd made the right decision by leaving him out of it.

Abby tilted her head at her curiously. "Am I the first person you're talking to about all this?"

If so, she'd better warn her about Pratt's temper, and a few of the other Ministry employees she'd seen in a snit with glitter on their collars.

"She asked for ducks?" Koko repeated rhetorically, deadpan, wondering what in Merlin's name the forger had written. Nobody who had read these letters seemed very amused by them - least of all Queen G, who had suspected her of having actually written them. She was no expert when it came to handwriting but Koko had to try and get to the bottom of this.

            "Am I the first person you're talking to about all this?"

"We've heard from some others... in writing," she informed Abby with a roll of her eyes as she fiddled with the handle of her handbag. "But you're the first I've come to see. Just thought it was worth following up, you know? Now that Snigger is gone."

Saying that felt yucky. There were already writers at Witch Weekly ready to fill the vacuum by writing more outlandish articles than usual in an attempt to imprint their own names in the conscious of the public. Koko glanced down at the papers on Abby's desk, curiously.

"You don't still happen to have that letter she sent, do you?"

The reporter's fidgeting caught Abby's attention, though Abby would fidget with that purse too, just to make sure people noticed it.

"Be careful, if you talk to the others," Abby warned, likely unnecessarily. Koko already seemed a little nervous. "Some people do not appreciate a little extra glitter in their lives. Especially when it's sprinkled with spite."

Abby grinned at her next question. "Do I? Of course I do."

She kept all her mail, even if she didn't open it, just in case anyone much more nefarious than Little Snigger reached out to her. As she opened up her righthand filing cabinet and rummaged in the folder for personal mail, Abby wondered whether Koko had known Snigger very well, if she was following up because she was friends with her, or if Queen G had simply sent Koko to investigate.

Her fingers closed on the glittery blue inked envelope, with the odd letter inside, and Abby only hesitated a moment before holding it out to the reporter.

Abby remained quiet, watching Koko's face as she read it, curious if she'd agree it read more strange than spiteful. Snigger had held back the vitriol in this letter. Abby found that most strange of all.

Koko was not looking forward to meeting other people in her investigation. She'd already crossed Pratt off her list - they'd seen that letter - but Bagnold's was still a mystery. She smiled at Abby's advice: the girl meant well and it was hard to hold it against her on this occasion.

              "Do I? Of course I do."

Definitely not holding anything against her. Koko took the letter, getting that strange jolt she did when she had read the one to Pratt. The handwriting was basically hers! There was no way she could have told her actual letters apart from this if she'd found it. She hadn't been wrong to suspect this was a professional job.

The content of the letter made her bristle though. It was too blatant and not nearly mean enough. Koko could understand the duck photos, now.

"Snigger definitely went off her rocker," she remarked before drawing her wand to make a copy of the forgery. "So rude to ask those questions too. But I guess you are friends wi--" Koko stopped and blinked bemusedly.

She was going to say that the photos with Virgil Carstairs proved she was friend wi... the thought eluded her again and she felt muddled, like someone around her was smoking up a storm of gillyweed. The witch shook her head. What was she doing here even? Wasn't she supposed to be seeing Bagnold now?

Virgil had just been coming in from his lunch hour when he'd snatched Abby's emergency note out of thin air. He had ducked right back into the lift, telling Alex to make up an excuse as he jabbed the button for level two. And now he stood at the threshold to the waiting room, lucid blue gaze on the witch chatting to Abby.

Discussing Witch Weekly with Balfour and Cepheus over the weekend had reinforced Virgil's dislike for the magazine. They played dirty, which made him feel alright about playing dirty too.

           "Anyway, thanks." Yukawa was handing the original letter back to Abby. "I'd better get going."

He continued to scrutinise her consciousness and every time it returned to the line of enquiry about being friends with the kidnapping survivors, Virgil disturbed the thought. Like stepping into a stream and splashing around.

Koko picked up her handbag and turned around to leave, but startled at the sight of him. He looked past her at Abby. "Sorry, am I interrupting? Here to pick up those papers from yesterday," Virgil lied smoothly without acknowledging the reporter.

But just in case... he reached out to her unprotected mind, pulling and tugging at her thoughts until she touched her forehead with a flinch. Headache. A nice, horrid little headache.

Abby watched Koko make a copy of the letter, and opened her mouth, feeling a twinge of unease as the copy disappeared into her purse. The reporter didn't sound as if she was friends with Snigger, so Abby could only imagine her boss had sent her for a follow-up article on Snigger's mental state. While Abby could not feel sorry for anyone who made a career out of mocking children, she hoped her own boss would never throw her under the bus like that.

Abby really didn't think he would. He was a Carstairs, after all.

"Friends with?" Abby prompted her, distracted. She glanced up to find Virgil in the doorway. That was quick! At Koko's thanks, Abby nodded in response.

"Right on time, Virgil," she grinned at him, making a show of rummaging in her desk for the fake papers, and expecting some quip from Koko about Virgil's photogenic qualities.

Abby stopped shuffling papers as the reporter flinched and touched her head. The gesture was so much like her own, at times, and she'd seen it from her sister enough that it gave her pause.

"Koko, wait," she smiled uneasily, shrugging off her observation. "What are you going to do with the copy I gave you?"

Or didn't give her. It was one thing to send in silly photos, or to anonymously weigh in on this year's list of bachelors, but quite another to have her name in print.

Oh, Merlin, where did that come from. Koko rubbed the side of her forehead without thinking as she felt a throbbing pain begin to build. It was all this talk about ducks and double identities. The Carstairs boy had arrived exactly the way you would expect an Unspeakable to - like a ghost. That entire floor gave her the bloody creeps.

"You're much better looking in the photos!" Koko remarked with a glance at the duck photos she'd left behind on Abby's desk, though she didn't really think he appeared any better or worse. He was one of those tired looking types.
   
Virgil turned his head to look at her, wearing something like a smile without any of the warmth. "You're much better looking without a pseudonym," the wizard told her.

Koko stared. Did he know? How the bloody hell did he know? Solomon Carstairs knew, of course, but she didn't realise he went around gossiping with his relations about it! Unless... she looked away from Virgil, a cold feeling in her stomach. Unless level nine just knew these things.

              "What are you going to do with the copy I gave you?"

The witch was relieved at the question, and made a mental note to avoid writing about Morgenthau as she answered Abby's question.

"It's for our files," she explained, which was vaguely true. It was just for her to figure out who had forged her handwriting - it wasn't like Gen was keen to publish anything Snigger related now. "I'd better be off to level four. You can keep the photos!" Koko tried to smirk but her headache was getting really bad now.

"Good luck," Abby raised her eyebrows, unable to keep the bemusement out of her tone as Koko ran off to Level Four. What had just happened? Abby pushed her worry over the letter to the back of her mind, hoping it would stay in Koko's files and out of Witch Weekly. At least the reporter had given her the photos back, leaving Virgil out of whatever she was planning.

She rubbed the side of her cheek for a moment, puzzling over their exchange. She glanced at Virgil. He'd shown up, and Koko had rushed out, looking pained. The reporter had a pseudonym. They knew each other, but Koko had only seen him in photos.

Were they seer frenemies? Competitive dream-walkers? Abby wouldn't normally make such a leap, but the Yukuwa family produced a seer at least once every generation, it seemed. The last time Abby had seen her in-laws, her little niece Coira had pretended visions of getting seconds for dessert, going on about it with such charm that Abby's mother had ended up giving her thirds. Sulwen, seated near Abby, had pointedly pushed her own plate aside. Abby held back a laugh at the thought.

"And here are the papers you requested, good sir," she shuffled the photos exaggeratedly and handed them off to Virgil with a cheeky smile.

Abby tilted her head. "Am I missing something?"

For a moment, Virgil forgot the keen embarrassment and the sting of youth he had felt a few nights ago in Diagon Alley. Instead he remembered how people like Balfour and Ceph had loved ones who suffered at Lil Snigger's quill, if not themselves. He thought about how his father had to sit him down as a boy to explain why the magazine wrote the things they did about the allegedly promiscuous lives of Stardust actors.

They really did live in a broken world. Yukawa left the waiting room, still smarting in the head, and he forced himself to turned back to Abby with a faint smile.

"Why thank you, fair lady." Virgil accepted the photographs and bowed grandly, charmed by her manner and by the thoughts that danced about her strange mind. He made a mental note to steal the seer dessert tactic from the Reids. It was interesting to catch a glimpse of what life was like for other pureblood families.

            "Am I missing something?"

Virgil glanced down at the photos in his hand shrugging indolently. "That was Lil Snigger," he gestured at the door. "Apparently Solomon knows who she is. I poked around, have to be careful with Witch Weekly."

Or with any reporters. The Unspeakable slipped his 'papers' into his pocket and glanced at the clock on Abby's desk.

"Lunch hour is over, I'd better go before Rosier starts asking questions. Catch up soon?" he raised his eyebrows, genuinely interested in having a longer chat with the squib. "And don't worry, she really isn't going to do anything with the letter."

She smiled at his bow. Then her eyebrows inched up as he admitted who Koko really was. How did he know these things! Abby glanced quickly at the door, her mouth dropping open a tad, seeing Koko's visit in a new light.

"Really?" Abby's mood perked up, then dimmed. "Oh no, Virgil, why did she leave? I had so many things to say."

She let out a laugh as she flopped back into her office chair. If she'd known, she would have scolded her for making a child's life (and his father) miserable. She would have told her just how ridiculous and petty she was.

Her eyes fell on the letter and the new layer of blue glitter coating her desk. She wondered at Koko's motivation. Why would she ask about a letter that she herself had sent? That part didn't make sense, but she wouldn't hold Virgil up by puzzling over it.

"Ooo, a Rosier. Off with you, then. We'll catch up soon," she focused back on Virgil, nodding at his reassurance. "I have so many things to tell you," she repeated, her tone teasing.

In the few minutes before Solomon Carstairs returned to his office, Abby thought of Koko fiddling with her purse, touching her head as if it hurt, and she slowly realized that no, she wouldn't have actually said anything horrible to her. It was easy to think that, harder to do it. Abby hadn't been personally affected by Snigger's articles, and she fully intended on continuing to subscribe to the magazine. Witch Weekly often made her laugh when other reading material failed.

She shrugged, and wiped the glitter off her desk. Everyone had their guilty pleasures.