Neville was having a weird morning.

He had left home this morning deciding to come through the Sleeping Dragon instead of using his back staircase. The barista had smiled and waved at him as she usually did but this morning it had been preceded by a fit of giggles. He was also sure he had drawn a few eyes as he exited the shop.

When he apparated into Diagon that morning he had actually been cat called by a gaggle of young witches who looked to be fresh out of Hogwarts. The Welcome Witch at the Ministry seemed to be flirting with him and the barista in the Atrium - Where he picked up a scone for breakfast - wouldn't let him pay for it.

Inside the lifts he remarked to a fellow wizard, "have all the women gone mad today?" He became even more aware of his female colleagues staring at him as he finally made it to the Auror Headquarters. Even The Aurors seemed to stare and snicker as he walked past. Neville was starting to get seriously worried about the well being of everyone he was coming into contact with until he came to his cubicle and found the source of everything.

His cubicle was lined with Fairy lights and plastered with what looked like pages from some Magazine or another. After he got over the initial shock he realized all the pictures that covered his cubicle were of him (how did they even get a picture of him topless?!)

The horribly violet headline jumped out at him: MOST SMOOCHABLE BACHELOR

"This is my nightmare."

Word got out fast. Aurors did not like Witch Weekly. But it was funny. Because it was ridiculous. They had not sent in votes. Not for Neville. Or Omari. No! False evidence!! They had nothing to do with this. Andromeda came back to the cubicles. She finished an interview. Everyone was covertly watching. Andromeda saw Neville. Did he know? Did he get Witch Weekly? Had his fan club told him? Andromeda had not seen his cubicle. When she saw it she found it hard not to laugh. Someone had made it over. Very well!
"The decor?" Andie asked. "Or that Witch Weekly poll says it is true?"

Neville momentarily tensed when Gamp came to his side. He liked Andi. She was a good Auror and usually good company. They had worked together on a few cases over the years and got on well enough but he couldn't help but notice that she was a woman, and that she was laughing.  Had she been in on this? It didn't seem like her style, then again any of the Aurors in the office could have done this. The publication wasn't exactly well regarded amoungst the Crimson Robes. Neville certainly wasn't a fan, especially now.

He looked over at Her, crossing his arms over his chest, "can it be both? This is a joke right? Someone's just taking the piss." As little as he thought of the Witches magazine he sincerely doubted they would have published something like this about him. This had to be fake. And seriously where did they get that topless picture of him?!

"A joke?" Andromeda questioned. "When does an auror ever go to such trouble for a joke?" She raised her eyebrows. Auror jokes were always a commitment. "Call it a celebration. Own it or bear it." She gave a big shrug. Then glanced at the photo. "Not that kind. But I would not complain." She elbowed him in a friendly way.

"Have you really not seen it?" She asked. She was being serious. "Accio Witch Weekly magazine!"
"Hey!!" A colleague exclaimed as their reading material flew out of the cubicle.
"Take a look." Andromeda said.

Neville had to admit that this was rather elaborate just for a joke, even by Auror standards but then that meant that this was real?!

He gave her an incredulous look when she suggested that he should embrace it. He felt a blush darkened his cheeks when she teased him about the topless photo. Had this been happening to anyone else he likely would have joined in on the laughing. However this was close to his worst nightmare.

While Neville was well aware that puberty had been exceptionally kind to him - his years as an Auror has certainly helped - he still felt like that chubby awkward kid who couldn't do anything right. Being celebrated in this way, would never not feel like a cruel joke. He suddenly thought he knew how Ron felt when the whole of the Castle had learned the words to Weasley is our King.

Then it seemed to get worse when Andi snatched a full copy of the magazine and handed it to him. Neville frantically flipped through the pages until he found the article. Oh My Godric, it was all real. His previous crimson cheeks blanched, "Who actually voted for this?!"