1945 hours


Virgil Carstairs stepped off the lift and adjusted his Unspeakable frames, which he had forgotten to take off when he'd excused himself from the Love Chamber. It had hardly been a precarious experiment and his seniors had become tired of lovelorn sighing and snarky comments. He was free to go home. Or he would be if he hadn't a previous engagement[1] with level two's brightest star.

"Unicorn girl!" he exclaimed, having made his way through the foyer where wixes in red robes appropriately ignored the monochrome trainee. "Am I interrupting?" The waiting room was devoid of other souls - empty chairs meant someone was already in conference with Solomon, or the wizard had disappeared elsewhere for a meeting.

Abby was at her desk. Virgil smiled at her, slipping on to the only ledge of the table that wasn't encroached by folders. "Yavin compliments your artistry by the way," he leaned over the paperwork to exchange cheek kisses. "I come bearing mischief."  He reached into his pocket and procured a small potion bottle with exaggerated flourish. 

It was a tiny crystal thing, stopped by cork, and it contained a shimmering teal liquid with flecks of rose gold. Virgil set it on the desk in front of her - his sleepy red mouth carried the promise of rule-breaking trouble.

1.	In the Night I Hear Them Talk - 6th Oct

"Come in!" Abby waved him in. "The other Carstairs is out."

Abby sat at her desk, surrounded by candy boxes that teetered in towers off the floor, and it wasn't even her birthday. She leaned in to exchange cheek kisses with her favorite Level Nine mischief maker. At the sight of his spectacles, Abby grinned.

Virgil was more like his grumpy cousin than he thought. She reached over, accidentally toppling a stack of pamphlets, and adjusted the spectacles on his nose.

Abby took that moment to study his face. Despite whatever was happening with Cepheus, Virgil remained sweet. She hoped to find out more about his dilemma during the course of this long work day. Evening.

"What's this? Bottled pixie dust?" Abby teased as he set it down, recalling their first meeting during the slumber party when he'd brought gillyweed.

She picked up the glass bottle, turning it over in her hands. It made her think of fancy perfume, especially with the flecks of gold. Virgil's smile, of course, said otherwise.

"I'm playing favorites," she gestured around her. "Two boxes for you, two for Raine and Fauna and Nick and Trevelyan, and I'm sneaking one out for Ari. Zero for the Auror who yelled at me when I spilled coffee on her meeting minutes, and zero for the one who overbooks the interrogation rooms, and Virgil," she looked at him, tilting the bottle a little in her hand.

"Please tell me what this is before I get too boring."

Surrounded as she was by towers of boxed chocolates and level two folders, Abby looked like a sort of eccentric princess - the aurors were her knights. Did that make Solomon the dragon? Gobbling up or scorching the unworthy suitors.

            "I'm playing favorites," she began to explain the quickly forming hierarchy of saccharine favours.

Virgil had spent much of the work day in the Love Chamber and, on having read Abby's message about chocolates, his plan seemed like the most logical outcome. Chocolates and love potions went hand-in-hand. Their source of the potion on level nine was a fountain of Amortentia but he knew better than to play around with something so potent. He'd pilfered something from the chamber's shelves instead; their weaker, more experimental brews.

"You are never boring." Virgil corrected his friend first and then made an effeminate gesture towards the bottle in her hand. "What you have there is a modified Love Potion."

It certainly wasn't the notorious pinkish purple stuff they sold in shops.

"I think what it does is make you like people you don't usually like," he explained as he slipped off the table and thoughtfully approached one of the stacks of chocolate boxes. "Didn't bring enough for all of these but we could do some," the wizard shot a cheeky smile at Abby. "You get first choice of victims, Wendy Darling."

Abby blinked at Virgil, and had just enough time to feel a twinge of concern about his infatuation with C Gamp, when he explained the love potion's effects with a grin.

"Peter, darling," she drawled back, then let out a giggle. "Just a second."

She held up a finger, and nudged over a tower of boxes using first the side of her foot and then both her arms, which allowed her to escape the prison of chocolates surrounding her desk. Stepping lightly to the door of the waiting room, Abby opened it, peeked out, and then flipped over the sign. The Sign. The front of the sign was etched with an innocuous logo of the Ministry of Magic - in case anyone had forgotten where they were.

The back of the sign said 'Kindly Refrain from Disturbing'.

As she flipped it to the 'kindly refrain', a little shock ran through her arm and she shook out her hand. The polite sign held much power, encouraging the denizens of Level Two to truly think things through before barging in.

First they might consider, is it relevant?

Then, is it life or death?

And finally, is your life worth the interruption?

She'd heard a rumor that the sign had been made ever since Pratt had been promoted to Head Auror. Abby knew to take most things about Pratt with a grain of salt, but this, she tended to believe.

Abby shut the door, and joined Virgil as he assessed the chocolates.

      Typical Carstairs.

The voice murmured. Abby shook her head slightly, pushing the thought aside.

"V, did I hear you right? You only think you know how it works?"

She arched a brow at him, feeling a little like Raine. Or Aileen. Someone had to ask these questions, and that someone usually wasn't her, but she would prefer to know just how much trouble they were going to land in.

"Just how potent is it?"

Abby held her hand out for the bottle, her mouth quirking into a smile.

He watched the squib carefully secure the perimeter - much like level nine, perhaps the DMLE had its own version of walls with ears. She was right to be cautious. It was possible, perhaps likely, that they would be caught.... but there was no reason to be sloppy about it, was there? The aurors had other things to worry about!

            "V, did I hear you right?" she joined him as he plucked one of the boxes to peek at the glossy chocolate bonbons inside. "You only think you know how it works? Just how potent is it?"

"It's... not very potent. We haven't tested it extensively." Virgil admitted, shrugging. That was the limit of what he could say about their methods in the Love Chamber, as an Unspeakable-in-Training. "A drop on each chocolate and they should be flirting like your average adolescent," he explained with a roll of his eyes. "Laughing too hard at unfunny jokes and making unwise declarations."

As if he weren't himself an adolescent. As if he could help the way he behaved around Cepheus. No. Not now, think about that later, this was supposed to be the distraction.

He picked up on of the chocolates and bit into it. "Mm. It has a ganache. That should disguise the taste." Virgil offered the second chocolate to Abby to try, though he suspected she might have already helped herself before his arrival. "We can give the spiked ones to people who don't have any serious work to do tomorrow -" he clarified, "- so none of the diplomats on level five, for example."

Didn't want to start a wizarding war just because the peacemakers were trying to woo one another.

Abby happily took the offered chocolate bonbon and popped it in her mouth, satisfied with Virgil's explanation. Though she still worried about whatever had happened between him and Ceph, they had time to talk about that. Tomorrow would be a day full of flirting, which was a typical day for her, but less usual for the suits at the Ministry.

"No serious work," she repeated, her eyes alight with mischief. She stepped around the towers of chocolate boxes, stacking and unstacking the DMLE boxes, and then returning to Virgil with one box in each hand. The gloomy pamphlet tied atop each box referenced the dementors, in case anyone had forgotten about the dementor issue.

"Okay then. First victim - Pratt or the other Carstairs?"

Abby grinned as she lumped the two very different bosses together. "Oh wait!" Abby drew one box closer to her.

"Not Carstairs. We shouldn't give this to anyone who's married, either. So, two rules - no serious work, no marriages - that leaves Pratt," she giggled, unable to help it.

"The course of true love!" Giggle. "Never did run smooth."[1]

1.	quote from Lysander, A Midsummer Night's Dream

             "The course of true love! Never did run smooth."

If there had been a sharp, vindictive slant in the twist of his smile.... it softened somewhat at Abby's words. The bard's words, really, spoken in the happy voice of a mischievous angel. Perhaps there was something to that. Nothing good came easy. Love wasn't just a feeling in your chest. That was why even Amortentia could not replicate true love. There was no formula to it.

"Fair rules, milady." Virgil took up the potion and popped the cork off. "Bagnold? He was in that awful Witch Weekly vote, tied for second.[1]"

Or, in his opinion, third place. Cepheus was obviously the most kissable person. Period. With a little ache in his chest, Virgil collected the boxes Abby had brought and set them down on the desk to open the lids.

"Don't think I'd risk Longbottom," he delicately tilted the potion bottle and let a bit of it drip on to the bonbons - giving them a glittery shimmer. "Everyone likes him, might end up married to his nemesis by tea time. We could do some random ones?" A pause as he shook the bottle to demonstrate it had at least a few more drops in it.

1.	Most Smoochable Bachelor Announced! - 24th Sept

"Random! Let's do that. And I agree. Longbottom's fan club is real, Virgil. Just ask Sandra, the desk witch."[1]

Her eyes danced. He'd likely already guessed that she was one of the 'witches' responsible for writing to the magazine and boasting of certain bachelors' virtues. She smiled, turning to select a few random boxes, as long as they weren't married or insanely busy. Abby opened up the boxes, and held out the bonbons for Virgil to bless.

It would be a Happy Friday indeed!

They passed a bit of time picking out boxes and using up the potion. After Bagnold, they'd picked one or two others from the RCMC department. Abby selected one of the last boxes from the pile and paused at the name.

She glanced at Virgil, then held it out.

"So. Would you say that Cepheus does a lot of work or a little, on a Friday?"

Abby arched an eyebrow.

"I know he's quite busy breaking hearts."

Penny's heart and Virgil's at least. Her voice held the barest touch of annoyance as she studied Virgil's face. Abby only knew of Penny from her polka dots and Fauna's stories so far, but she couldn't help but feel a little protective of Virgil, whose smiles hadn't always reached his eyes tonight.

1.	letter to the editor

He didn't have to be a Legilimens to assume that Abby was a member of The Secret Society of Winsome & Wise Witches but Virgil couldn't help laughing at her confirmation of it as she name-dropped Longbottom's fan club. It had been a masterful response to Witch Weekly's frankly objectifying vote. Nobody else could voluntarily write such nice things about Schlawkward! Or, for that matter, about him.

They set to work efficiently - careful to pace themselves. Getting caught might be disastrous but it would be worse if they botched this up and sent chocolates to the wrong recipient.

He was about to pour out another few drops on the proffered box when Abby spoke. "So. Would you say that Cepheus does a lot of work or a little, on a Friday?"

Virgil froze. When he glanced up from the chocolates to meet her gaze, his eyes carried a look of surprise and something a bit panicky - something raw. It turned out that Abby didn't have to be a Legilimens either, to know what was passing through his evasive thoughts.

"Let's not," he spoke softly and lowered the bottle, gesturing at the box presumably intended for Cepheus. "He hasn't..." Virgil trailed off and felt an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck. "He hasn't broken anything, not intentionally at least. I've just made a fool of myself, Abby."

An utter fool. The wizard swallowed, running his free hand through his hair until it stuck up in stiff tufts of blonde. He felt like he'd been dreaming all these months and woken up to a harsh reality.

"I'm so stupid," Virgil muttered in a low voice. "I wish I hadn't ever laid eyes on him."

Abby watched Virgil's face fall and the blush creep up his neck, and drew the box of chocolates aside. Sympathy flashed in her eyes.

"You're not stupid."

She shook her head firmly. "I've never known you to be foolish either, unless you're acting the part during a performance."

Abby paused, glancing at him again. She didn't want to hurt him or pry, but she also did want to pry, because he was clearly hurting.

"What happened?"

She set Cepheus' box of chocolates down and picked up another, forgetting to glance at the name as she held it out.

"Tell me, so I can tell you why it's going to be ok."

They had barely known one another for a couple of months and yet Abby had perfect confidence that Virgil was neither stupid nor a fool. He wished he could see himself through her unicorn eyes.

            "What happened? Tell me, so I can tell you why it's going to be ok."

She put forward another box of chocolate so that they could resume their task while they spoke. Virgil allowed a couple of drops to coat the bonbons and used this pause of concentration to collect his thoughts - wondering how to describe what had happened[1] that night.

"I tagged along when some of the Ministry lot went drinking and a few of us ended up at Ceph's flat," he explained and waited for another box to be held out. "It was fine at first. I was drunk and high, which I... I'm not usually both at the same time."

It was one or the other, to avoid messing with his sensitivity to other people's thoughts. Not to mention his common sense.

Virgil glanced at Abby and met her in the eye as he spiked the next set of bonbons. "I told him I liked him," he admitted and lowered his gaze diffidently. "It was awful, I sounded like a child."

1.	Vulnerable Nighttime Conversation - 1st Oct

"What?" Abby's mouth twitched up into a slight smile, and she almost dropped the box of bonbons.

"You told him? Virgil!"

Her smile widened, unable to hold back her excitement. "That takes guts."

She hadn't expected it of him, if only because he preferred to coax confessions out of his friends rather than admit to his own feelings. Alcohol and gillyweed could do wondrous things! The combination had prompted her kiss with Sasha at the slumber party, after all.

"Details," she gestured with another box.
 
"What exactly did you say, and what exactly did he say? I need to know these things so I can tell you," she let out a little sigh. "Why you didn't sound like a child."

Abby knew very well that there must be a reason why he felt so upset, but they'd get to that. In the meantime, she would try to cheer him up.

Her little flutter of excitement set off an odd, nauseatingly similar one in Virgil's stomach - because he had told Cepheus and he was still completely infatuated with the man. A part of him did feel brave for having done what he did. A very small, distant part of him.

"I don't know if details will help," he muttered and closed the potions bottle to give it a little shake before unstoppering it again. "We were... I was trying on some of his clothes. And there was this, this lace shirt he suggested I try on. Beautiful piece."

Another few drops on this box. He could feel his heart dancing erratically at the memory of that night, picturing Cepheus' bedroom in his mind's eye and almost being able to smell his cologne. Cedar wood and orange. And the comfortable musk of his bed, his wardrobe.

"He noticed that I was, um." Virgil closed his eyes softly for a moment and sighed. "Don't laugh. Aroused. It sort of came out after that," his ears burned self-consciously. "My confession, I mean. And it was a train wreck, Abby, honestly. He was so surprised, he never suspected."

Prince of Obliviousness, Cepheus Gamp. Cousin Alex had quite seriously offered to stab him[1] but Virgil wasn't feeling quite that dire. Yet.

1.	From Hazel!

Abby's eyes widened, but out of sympathy for dear Virgil she refrained from giggling.

"You were at his flat, in his room, modeling his clothes and he was surprised?" Abby blinked, shaking her head. She could picture Virgil, his ears burning as they were now, holding up a lace shirt to his frame as Cepheus offered suggestions. Again, she couldn't help but feel protective.

"It's a good thing he's not solving mysteries on Level Nine or crime on Level Two," she muttered cheekily.

No, Cepheus Gamp had found his calling.

Abby set down the chocolate box and hunted for another one, vowing to keep better track of the love potion victims this time. She glanced at the vial. Just a few drops left.

"Was he just surprised?"

She asked over her shoulder. Abby couldn't imagine that was the end of the story.

He was somewhat mollified by Abby expressing incredulity towards the older wizard's surprise. There was no doubt however - Virgil had found it perfectly evident in the mind hiding beneath that glorious black mane. Cepheus had not realised he was on the receiving end of a stupidly colossus crush, regardless of their physical attraction and flirting.

            "Was he just surprised?"

"No." Virgil hesitated fiddling with the bottle in his hands and feeling a familiar guilt settle into his chest. "That is... I mean, he started out trying to be kind. I sort of read his thoughts without meaning to, I was so drunk, and he thought I was some awful lost boy like Peter Pan and he was being too bloody nice and I blurted out that I wasn't like Peter and--"

Breathe! He halted, red in the cheeks from some combination of mortification and resentment. Virgil rubbed his face, then smoothed his hands back over his hair. "Sorry."

That's what he should be saying to Cepheus. Sorry. Sorry I put you in that position. He gestured for the next box, ready to drip out the last of the potion.

"I told him I was a Legilimens. He didn't-- he did the right thing, told me to go to sleep because we weren't sober enough." Virgil swallowed; he realised his heart rate had picked up, his palms were sweaty. "I left in the morning before everyone woke up -" Abby would know that trick, "- and we haven't spoken since."

Not that he had tried. He was too embarrassed to approach Cepheus, half certain he was going to get another poor lost boy speech.