[August 2010 through July 2011] Undelivered Letters (Raine, Sasha, others)

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UNDELIVERED LETTERS

In a box in a desk inside Lorelei Hunt's office, there is a stack of opened letters. These letters look like they have been through snow, rain, and sleet. They are tied haphazardly together. The whole stack is about as tall as a hand's width. They are addressed to many of Abby Reid's friends and family, from the time she arrived at the Lilly Lakehouse in August 2010 until her departure the following August.

Below, a sampling of the letters that never made it to the right people:
AUGUST 2010


Dear Raine,

OMG! Are you seriously in Russia? How did I miss that while I was visiting Tyr? We could have been, I don't now, two floos away from one another! Ugh, missed opportunity!

So how are you? What made you decide to stay with your lovely but formidable aunt? (I'm not judging, I can see why you look up to her, HAHA short joke). I would think that you would be all about finishing your NEWTS at Hogwarts and being all prefect-y, plus I was counting on you to keep Schlawkward sane. You must be learning a lot in Russia! Tell me everything!

I'm at the last house on my summer tour of suitors. It's such a beautiful place! The house... well, it's not even a house, it looks like a castle (suck it, Hogwarts!), and there's a lake to the west, and a huge forest surrounding the grounds and gardens. I feel like I'm stepping into a storybook.

Even the people are beautiful here! Lori Lilly is this gorgeous redhead (oh hey, sounds like a Gryffindor I know!) and her brother Lee is not so bad, either. Calix doesn't look at all like them, but talk about tall, dark and handsome! He's funny, too. He can keep up with my banter yet knows when not to annoy Aileen. He's adopted, by the way - he was the squib that my mother decided I should visit last because he's a squib... double standard much, I know. Oh, but your aunt actually mentioned the family to Aileen, and that's why he's on the list in the first place!

I'm going to have to thank her. I've only known him a few weeks, but I think I actually like him. I wasn't planning on liking anyone, honestly. I was going to just have fun this summer, appease my parents, then come back home and hope that Sasha's still single.

Now Aileen has been called off on some urgent matter from a colleague and the Lillys offered to let me stay with them for a little while longer while she's away. SCORE! Unchaperoned! I might as well stay, right? See how things go. I'll send you updates!

Hearts,
Abby





Dear Sasha,

Hey there, seventh year! Do you feel like a big shot now? You should.

I'm writing to you from a CASTLE. Sort of! It feels like one. I'm at my own version of Hogwarts - there's a lake, a forbidden forest (not really forbidden), and a massive owlery in this tower that overlooks the grounds. I looked out the window today and couldn't see where the trees ended, that's how much land there is! And they have horses! Lee (the father) offered to take me horseback riding since Calix is not a big fan.

It's like they've already adopted me or something. I never really thought about how tense things are with my family until I got here. Lee and Lori remind me a bit of my own parents - Lee is this gentle, easygoing man and unlike my father I don't have to resort to antics to get him to talk to me. Lori is vivacious and loud, but I don't think she's ever sent a Howler in her whole life, and she encourages me to be silly and giggly, and the first time I got here she gave me a hug like she's known me for ages. Calix is lovely, too.

Is it bad that I really, really like his parents? I'm starting to understand how you feel about the Trishnas and Mal

I'm going to be staying here a few more weeks as Aileen is off adventuring or tomb raiding or whatever it was that was so extremely important that she chose NOT to go back to Hogwarts. I'm floored, really. She needs to be there to balance out Professor Tappy and Counselor Maiko! She needs to be there in case you need anything! Hello. Though I suppose you can speak to Storm too. How are things going between you two? Is he at all fatherly?

And Raine is staying in Russia! Promise me you'll look after yourself? Get some sleep. Try! I'll know if you haven't when I see you during the Hogsmeade weekend. You'll be as cute as always, but I'll just knoooow.

~Abby!
SEPTEMBER 2010


Dear Sasha,

It is official. You are now acquainted with an actual (warrior) princess.

I've been spending a bunch of time horseback riding, thanks to Lee. I'm getting so much better at it since that one time we went together[1]! I can ride at a trot now, and am learning how to gallop. Soon I'm going to be a badass, hair streaming in the wind, cloak flapping, oh yeah.

Can you believe Calix doesn't like horses? He's sweet, really, but I don't get him sometimes. He hates the woods around here. Won't even go in there. Won't go out on the lake either. I asked his parents when we can go on a boat ride before it gets too chilly out and they said 'later'. Weirdos! They have a boat they never use and only Lee goes into the woods.

There's something else in the woods, I think. I catch a glimpse of white every now and then and hear a sort of snuffle-snort. Yes, a snuffle snort, that's the best way I can describe it. It's not creepy. It's not that creepy, it only unnerves the horse. But there's definitely something.... some things? There. There's something in the woods! Dun dun dunnnn.

~Abby!





Raine!

Still here at the lakehouse. I'm here with my elbows on the window sill, chin in my hands, waiting for your owl! I hope your owl didn't keel over trying to make it here from Russia. That would be bad.

Raine, can I get your sound advice? If I told Aileen or my family, they'd be here in two seconds, making me leave, and I'm not sure that's what I want. And talking to Sasha about it would just be cruel of me. I think I've already said too much and hurt him.

First, let me explain how this house is set up. It's ginormous! There are whole wings of the house that they've closed off because it's a chore to care for them. The house elf leaves those sections alone. Isn't that madness? It must be hard, being so rich you don't use your whole house!

The other quirky thing is that there are no portraits, anywhere! No pictures or paintings at all. I was wondering what was missing one day, staring at the blank expanse of wall. It's painted such a light blue it was like looking at the sky.

I asked Lori why they don't have photos, and she said she kept all the portraits and things stored away because they remind her of all the deaths in her family. It was the saddest reason ever. I was like, what about you two? What about the beautiful Lor and Lee Lilly? And they smiled and said they don't want to jinx it.

It was so painful to hear. I'm the selfie queen. I have the best fish gape face.

What was I saying? I'm stalling. Oh right, so, Lee went into one of the closed-off sections one day and he left the door open and I happened to peek in. Peeking led to following, and I hid behind a column and heard him talking to this portrait. He was telling it about his day, and then he got into how incredibly sad he is sometimes, and how much he misses her (whoever that is), and it just broke my heart. I felt bad for eavesdropping.

I moved to leave, and I glanced back, and I caught a glimpse of the portrait, and saw a woman with red hair.

I'm embarrassed to say, at first I thought she was you. Haha! What is Raine doing in a portrait?

Then I remembered that the Lilly family is full of redheads and I felt really blond.

As I was sneaking out of the wing, Calix saw me. He looked like I was committing a murder! He grabbed my hand, speed walked to his room, put on a record, and hissed-shouted at me about how I was butting into family business and that if his parents ever caught me, I was going to get hurt. I yelled that he was being ridiculous, and he goes 'it's your fucking funeral!', and Lee comes into the room and wants to know what is going on, and they get into a yelling match over who is scaring me more (guess what, you both win), and the shouting just intensifies, Calix taunts him about how Lee can't lay a hex on him (some sort of charm the agency put on him to protect squib children??), and then they both look at me, and there's this weird tense moment, and I'm embarrassed to say I burst into tears.

Lee gave me a hug, and asked if I would take a walk with him, and while we were out he pointed at the lake and said that the woman in the painting was someone named Iona and she'd drowned in those very waters. He still feels guilty for not being able to save her, and he wasn't mad about me following him, it's just difficult for him to talk about her.

No wonder they won't take me out on the water. I feel terrible, I was so judging them.

I talked to Lori about it later, too. She explained that Calix moved from house to house before he came to live with the Lillys, and that he got hurt each time, so even though he's lived with them for a few years and they would never do anything to harm him, he sometimes assumes the worst of people, and that's why he was warning me. She said she'd understand if I wanted to leave, and offered to send me back home right that moment if I wanted to go! Doesn't she know that saying that makes me want to stay?

I wondered why he doesn't have friends (or anyone!) over, and she said they tried but he couldn't seem to keep any, and they were so grateful to have me here, and I just about cried again that day. Raine, I can only imagine what they've all been through. At least my family would never disown me for not having magic, and just thinking about him being shuffled from house to house and finally ending up with such wonderful people, it's just a perfect ending if he'd let it be. Lee always wanted to raise a child, and Lori said one day, screw what people think of us, we're getting one. They're just the best.

Since the fight with his father Calix has been kind of moody and quiet. He spends most of his time in his room, playing the violin all dramatically, or he's in the study getting tutoring from his parents. The nicer I am, the more distant he seems to get. I wish I could help. Am I mad to want to stay?

Thanks for listening to me pour my heart out! Please give your owl extra treats so it doesn't keel over!

Love,
Abby
 1. My hair isn't carrots
OCTOBER 2010


Sasha,

Are you upset that I'm staying here? Is that why I haven't heard from you?

I miss you.

Abby.





Dear Roger,

Heeeey lemon-face! lol. My new nickname for you. Don't be offended, you have a lovely face, it just needs to be called lemon face sometimes.

I found the liquer cabinet! Liquor!! haha. Hahahaha.

Oh my Godric, Roger, I don't understand these people I live with. Can you come over, and we can sneak out and go to pubs, or stalk the streets pretending to be zombies (it's almost Halloween, after all)?

Wait. Don't come over!

Not that I don't want to see you. I'm just starting to have a few minor doubts about Calix's parents.

This is the issue - they adopted a squib son, but don't seem to care that he's totally alone out here. I'm starting to think it's not because he drives people away, it's because they aren't doing enough to help him meet people. Calix doesn't know what a laptop is. He doesn't know what a cell phone is. I brought these things with me just in case I'd have time to visit a muggle cafe somewhere, but they keep making excuses about me going. I thought they were more open minded than my own parents, but maybe not. I'm really, seriously bummed out. I NEED the internetz. I miss Facebook. I miss my 987 Instagram followers (which are probably dwindling more and more every day!). I miss you, too.

There was some miscommunication and I ended up missing the first Hogsmeade weekend, even. I haven't left at all! I just feel so alone. We're so alone out here.

LOL Maudlin!DrunkAbby!! Ignore me!

(don't ignore me please write back!)

~Abby!

NOVEMBER 2010


Dear Raine,

I know I haven't heard from you in ages, but would you mind doing a huge favor for me?

By the way, how are you? I'm dying to know! Have you forgotten about your really amazing friend? Haha, me? Welp, that's sad, I can't even think of anything cute to say anymore.

Oh right, the favor. Would you please owl my parents and tell them I need them to come visit me right now?  Wow, that sounds pathetic when I put it in writing! I know, I know - I always complain about them butting into my business. This also means you'll have to speak to my mother. If anyone can do it, it's you!

My mother is the only one who has been writing to me, and the thing is, when I told her I might stay with the Lilly family for the December holidays, she was... strangely normal about it. She didn't send me a Howler. She didn't insist that I visit her. She didn't try to dig for information on Aileen's absence, or remind me not to overstay my welcome. She just... accepted it. I offered to visit her and bring Calix and she IGNORED that completely. Who is this person writing to me and what have they done with my mother?!

I don't understand! Has she been imperioused? For serious? Rhyme unintentional. She is responding to things in my letters that I never wrote - I swear it. Either she is going mad, or I am.

If something did happen, I haven't seen The Prophet or listened to the Wireless. Lori won't let me. There, I said it. I have no idea what's going on outside this bubble. This huge, suffocating bubble.

~Abby
DECEMBER 2010


Dear Professor Trishna,

Hi, it's Abby. Have you by any chance heard from my sister? She went on this urgent expedition months ago and I haven't heard anything from her since and I'm extremely worried. I desperately need her to come back.

What could be so important, you might ask? Well, it's like that time after the Yule Ball you came to our house to talk[1]. It's on that level. No joke. I may have been kidnapped by this family I thought was lovely.

~Abby





Dear Aurors-

The quill flies out of her hand and the parchment bursts into flames.





Dear Trevel-

The parchment disintegrates in her hands.





Dear Sasha,

(Jon) Snow is falling, winter is coming, and you guessed it, I started the Game of Thrones books you lent me! I'll let you know what I think once I get further into it. I find that I have lots of time.

I hope you are well. I know this time of year is hard.

As for me, winter makes me think of happier days, like when you asked me to the dance. I smile just thinking about those clues all over Hogsmeade! And that dance by the fence. And us talking inside the shack, which you somehow made homely and warm with your magic skills.

Do you remember what, or who, we talked about in the shack?[2]

I'm in a similar situation, or I think I am. Isn't that exciting? We have the best luck.

Before you do anything rash and throw me a party, please invite lots of people. You know how social I am. The more the merrier.

Abby!





Abby draws a picture of a runespoor inside the Lilly Lakehouse[3]. She puts it into an envelope. Seals it. On the envelope, she writes:

 
J O N A S and / or A D O N

She attaches it to an owl. The owl looks at her for a long moment. It hops off the windowsill. It dives. It dives right into the ground.

Abby decides not to write to the Aurors again.



 1. Maddening Shroud
 2. Not Quite a Castle, But It'll Do
 3. referencing this thread
JANUARY 2011


Aileen,

It's 2011. The clocks chimed a few minutes ago, ringing in the new year. It's been more than four months since I've seen you. It hurts so much, not knowing where you are, if you are even alive.

I'm sitting in the owlery, in the cold, watching the snow swirl. Wrapped up like a mummy in dozens of cloaks. Watching the owls watch me.

I don't want to go downstairs and face Lori or Lee. Though I know everything I write goes into the Veil, I just want you to be here. I want us to be home.

Where are you? What happened to you? I can believe that everyone else would abandon me, but not you. You are my sister. You've always verbally eviscerated anyone who dared to insult me. I don't know if you react that way because of the guilt you feel about Simon, or all the nastiness from Trevor, but whatever the reason, I showed up on your doorstep all those years ago knowing you might sigh about it but you'd also welcome me in.

Where are you when I need you the most?

I often wonder where the owls go, when they leave this tower. Can they get past the magical barrier in the woods? Do they circle back to the owlery when I'm not here? Are they being impaled by the unicorns creeping around the trees?

There's a unicorn herd in the woods, by the way. Since winter arrived, Calix and I can spot them among the skeletal trees. During Christmas I pretended they were reindeer, leaving hoofprints in the snow. Their prints are speckled with something dark and red.

Calix said they are just winter berries crushed under their hooves. I tilted my head at him and went, the poisonous ones? And we laughed a little darkly.

Even the unicorns scare me. I hate to think of what they have become. What I could become, given enough time here.

Lori says I can't leave, especially not now. It's winter, the dementors have drifted up north, and it's dangerous, she says. She has the whole house warded against them. If only I believed that she was keeping them away. I think she draws them near when she sings.

She hates that I can't sing. She and Lee picked Calix because at least he is musically gifted. I don't have a musical bone in my body (just like magic!) and when I sing along, off key, she gets this murderous glint in her eye. Of all the things to hate me for. Though she also hates it whenever I witness her in a temper and her magic has failed her. As if I care? As if I have control over that. Maybe I'm contagious. Ha.

I asked Lee why we can't floo somewhere else, away from here, and he says nowhere is safe. The potions have been tampered with at St. Mungo's and they both need their own store of potions at the house. They sell potions from their own private apothecary, did they tell you that when you met them? Lori meets with dodgy sorts on an island in the middle of the lake. It's not suspicious at all.

They've 'requested' that I help them create their concoctions. When I look disgusted or squeamish, Lee acts like I've wounded him. He looks at me and seems to see someone else. He hardly ever calls me by my name. I am defined by "dear" and "love".

But that's family. Even a pretend family gets its claws into you and rips you to shreds until you are nothing. They have that power. At least I can say our real mother and father only prick the skin, their words leave a thousand little wounds that heal over well enough, I suppose, and if not, at least they stop short of killing us. You know what it's like.

Then there are moments, entire days, when I can pretend that this place and the people in it are normal. If I can just be kind enough, decent enough, cute enough, maybe they will love me (or spare me?). Their small kindnesses hurt the most. Sometimes the facade cracks and instead of ugliness, Lori pats my hair with affection and Lee smiles gently, and I want nothing more than to make them happy until I remember what they are doing and what they have done.

I feel like I am floating in the air. Weightless.

Calix is my anchor. He knows I know. We are like two doomed ships traveling beside each other on the same waters, suffering the same storms, battening down the hatches together, and when the sun breaks through we drift apart just a little, hoping the storm has passed. We read to one another a lot, play silly games, and watch the world freeze outside.

It's hard to remember that there's a world outside of this. There are people, and lives happening, and events and dramas and deaths and people having tea in their homes. I think there's a world out there. I become less and less certain of everything I know as the days go by.

It's like that silly saying about the tree falling in the woods.

If this world has become my only world, is the rest of the world still real?




If no one knows what has become of me, do I still exist?




Abby.

MAY 2011


Hi Raine!

Just wanted to let you know everything is great! Not sure if you received my last letters, but if you did, please ignore them. Everything is wonderful here. Turns out, there were dementors flying around the countryside and it was not safe for us to leave. I even saw them flying over the lake. Scariest thing ever! Don't worry, Lori kept them away from us. This place is built like a fortress with wards to match and no one can get in or out without her say.

Just wanted to reassure you that everything is well. The only troubling thing is that Lori lost a friend recently and she's been very upset. Apparently this friend was supposed to visit me, and never got the chance. I'm bummed, I really am. I'm sure this person is as kind as the Lillys have been to me.

Calix is turning seventeen in August. His parents are having this big birthday celebration. They told me all about it, haha! As if Calix doesn't know what they are plotting.

It is going to be the most epic birthday bash. Life-changing, you could say.

I do miss you, though I hope you have found a home in Russia. Remember when I went to your 17th birthday party[1]? So much has changed since then, the Abby you knew is practically gone! I remember your friends gathering around you. Roger came and you gave him this big hug. Then I hugged both of you and Theo hugged us and it was like a hug sandwich.

Hugs!
Abby
 1. Seventeen is Sweetest
JULY 2011


Dear Sasha,

You'll be pleased to know I finally finished a Dance with Dragons and the other massive books in the series so far. Winter is over! Or is it?

What do I think? Well, let me tell you in a way that will entertain you.

Though I feel a strange affinity with the character Gilly, I have to say that I relate the most to Sansa. I've been met with the same hospitality that Sansa encountered at Highgarden. My host mother has Cersei's patience and warmth, and Lysa's level head. I suspect she enjoys showing guests the Moon Door. She's even offered to show me once or twice, though I politely declined.

My host father helps keep the Moon Door swinging. When he looks at me he sees the ghost of someone else, like Baelish does. He acts more like Theon, with Theon's courageous heart.

Calix is like Tyrion, if he is like anyone. He interacts with his family in much the same way.

Since Brienne is nowhere in sight, the books have inspired me to imitate Arya. I chant a short list of names under my breath before I go to sleep. They sound like a lullaby, if you run the names together quickly enough.

< 3
Abby
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