It was Penelope’s birthday on Monday. She’d only mentioned it, maybe, fifty times, since the start of July. Theta was a patient person at the best of times, but Penny’s excitement was wearing her a little thin, especially as she couldn’t even acknowledge a joke if Theta tried a little sarcasm. Also, she felt terrible being sarcastic to such a well-meant person.

She had enlisted her cousin Ambrose’s help with this. As her newest spy on Level 4, where Penny also worked, but in a different Division, he was able to get word out and keep tabs on things without it looking odd. For if Theta ever ran into the likes of Cepheus Gamp, hyper-vigilant Penny would know, and wouldn’t rest until Theta had told her exactly the conversation and how it went down. The thought was too exhausting for Theta to consider, though she had made sure Gamp had received an invite. Poor sod.

Fauna had been in on this, of course. She’d worked her literal magic amongst other teams. She was a pro at networking with the badass sorts up on Level 2. She also had skills in deception and subterfuge with her auror training which Theta could only marvel at. All in all, Penny seemed entirely unaware anything odd was about to happen in their house that evening, and was instead preoccupied, pondering her poor week.


“Penny!” Theta had exclaimed, bursting into her housemate’s bedroom at six o’clock, “Penny! It’s an emergency,” Theta claimed, a towel pressed to half her face. “I’ve got a DATE, and I’ve got this horrific rash. It’s one of those time-travelling side effects,” Theta could usually fob such things off to that tune with Penny, she knew Theta couldn’t elaborate as an unspeakable. “I’m almost done with a potion to fix it, but I’m missing crocodile milk. It’s a disaster - would you be able to go out and get some? Here, you might need to try a couple of apothecaries - I’ve written it down, it’s a bit specialist - just show them this parchment - they’ll know it’s an unspeakable’s request.”

Penny, to her credit, didn’t question but appeared to take this rather seriously and officially. Theta ushered her out of the house with a deadline of eight, giving her two hours to search. If she wasn’t back for eight, Theta would be too late to brew so she should give up and the ‘rash' would just pass naturally.


Once she was out of the way, Theta gave the signal to her conspirators and the house began to transform and fill with invited guests in various guises. The kitchen filled with the delicious smell of pizza, purple, polkadot bunting decorated the rooms and pots of posies and poppies adorned tables. Pop music kept them moving as the clock crept to eight with still no early sign of Penelope and that fictitious crocodile milk as Theta laid a brand new polkadot dress on her housemate’s bed. She had been admiring it in Malkin’s the other day when they had been out shopping, and it was Theta’s birthday present.

---

---

“Alright she’s coming!” Theta yelped, rushing down the stairs to prepare everyone to surprise Penny at the front door.

Penny Pickler had been through a very rough week, and as a result, her friend and roommate Fauna had also had a trying week. When Theta had suggested a surprise birthday party, Fauna had immediately agreed. Anything to cheer Penny up! Of course, Theta was a master at planning and preparation, and Fauna had organized enough SAWS meetings during her time at Hogwarts to know how to get people involved without announcing it to those who Did Not Need to Know - Penny, in this case.

Penny had actually taught Fauna a lot over the past year they'd all been living together. Fauna was learning how to be a little more stoic, a little more secretive, and, like Theta, a little more sarcastic, though she felt a bit guilty about it.

Fauna crouched behind a pair of tall, potted plants in the foyer, her quill hat poking up over the foliage. She wore a cloak she'd decorated with wooden fragments she'd bought for a few sickles from a wand shop. A dozen of the wands at the shop had blown up one day, rendering them useless, and so she'd bought the discarded bits and painted them to look like porcupine quills. They stood up on her cloak, the ends charmed to soften on contact - luckily for the person hiding next to her.

"What am I?" Fauna repeated the guest's question in a whisper.  "It's my patronus. A double P threat. Patronus, porcupine? ...Get it?"

She had used her patronus charm often, you know, fighting the dementors and protecting the populace earlier in the year. She had looked like quite a badass, if she did say so herself, in her trainee uniform, unleashing the silvery form of a porcupine from her wand to chase away the darkness.

Now it was a Saturday night and she was just off-duty Fauna again. Dark hair, wide blue eyes, and a smattering of freckles on her nose that she'd dotted black.

"They're meant to be whiskers," Fauna answered another guest, touching her face self-consciously. Why would she want to give herself blackheads! "Shh, she's coming!"

Sylvain was too warm in his poodle costume and was eager to shed his coat after la femme de l'heure finally arrived at her own birthday soiree. Like many others at the Ministry, he was happy to be a part of the surprise for Penny. She was a nice witch and she had good intentions. Sylvain had only been working on level four for a few months but it was hard for someone like her not to make a lasting impression. The fixation on the letter P was... strange. But he couldn't blame it for his poor choice of costume in summer weather!

The Frenchman cast another cooling charm to line his shearling jacket while they waited, and chatted to someone who had come as a Pineapple, while an Auror Trainee in the group next to him tried to convince them that her porcupine whiskers were convincing. He gave her a doubtful look.

            "Shh, she's coming!" Blake warned, causing a ripple of anticipatory tension throughout the room.

Even Sylvain put down his pumpkin-papaya juice to face the front door, awkwardly waiting to join the surprise chorus once Penelope made her entrance. He drew in a breath.

Tia had perched herself on a table, legs dangling off and pirate hat tilted dangerously to one side while talking to someone else who had also come as a pirate. Not that she could blame them... pirates were pretty cool. She was jealous of the wizard's hook hand until he told her actually wore a hook hand every day, and then she had to wear her serious face to listen to the backstory behind that. But small talk aside she was having a good time!

If only Penny would finally get here so they could REALLY get things going!!

Pickler was weird but Tia liked her in the sort of she's-weird-but-she's-ours way that some of the Beings on level four did. She had to school all kinds of close-minded idiots but she kept a chipper attitude up, which was impressive in its own way. And she deserved a brilliant party tonight.

Someone shushed the crowd suddenly and Adrestia quickly reached for a glittery party horn - ready to turn some eardrums sore when the moment was upon them!

He had been feeling more to how his sister would be right now.  It seemed that she had done all the goofing off in school and now that he had safely graduated, he felt he could act a little crazy now.  Which is why he was here.  It was part of a dare from his twin sister who had sent him an owl with a phone number the other day and he'd spent the next day talking to her.  She had heard about the party he was invited too. 

He had been invited to a surprise party mostly because he was friends with those who were already invited and decided to have a bit of fun with it.  He'd actually decided to come as a princess. This was something he'd never done before, but he made sure that the 'dress he was wearing, was just one transfigured from his regular clothes and when he got tired of wearing it, he could change in the bathroom.

He was wearing his favorite boots and a pair of jeans under the dress, after all, it was just a transfigured shirt, but the tiara on his head was perfect.  He wondered what his sister would say if she could see him now, but hopefully she would never know, as he would hunt down all those who would dare take a picture....

Now if the party would just get started.

Crocodile milk was soon to be the bane of Penelope Pickler’s perfectly perky life! Theta had petitioned for her help, she’d been positively peeved by the rash possessing her profile and Penelope had been her only possible protector. All she’d had to do was find the crocodile milk from one of the three suggested apothecaries. Unfortunately, the might of Merlin had been against her all afternoon as she’d desperately pleaded with potioneers for such an ingredient. One cruel cretin had even cackled crudely in her face!

With pitiful poignancy, Penny Pickler returned home, dragging her feet along the street as she’d chosen to walk. Apparation was certainly not a skill that Penny possessed. Bizarrely, the house was in darkness so it was with mild misgiving that Penny pushed open the front door. Pez playfully pranced into the living room with no concern and Penny followed him.

“SURPRISE!”

Penny screamed and Pez proceeded to pee on the parkuet as the room lit up.

She saw polka dots and posies and pooches! There were poppies, a princess and a poodle. A….whatever Fauna was, a pirate and peanuts!

“P-p-p-“ The witch tried to speak, shaking her head as she stared in shock at her party goers. Here for her! “Pez peed!” she finally screeched and pulled her wand out.

“What have you come as?”
“Prince.”
“A prince? Don’t you need a crown?”
“No, he’s a Muggle musician… Purple Rain?[1]”

It was lost on so many of these youngsters around him. Cepheus was still in denial he was old of course, at 34, a full ten and a half years older than his colleague, Penelope, whose birthday they were celebrating. Even though her attention to detail over equality could rub Level 2 the wrong way like rough sandpaper, Pickler had more friends than one might have imagined. Enough to fill a decent house party.

At least Tia and Sylvain were here too. One of them would know what his costume was, he hoped. He’d need a few home-mixed cocktails before he could do a terrible rendition of one of his most famous songs.

“Shh, she’s coming!”

Cepheus glanced about for the nearest suitable piece of furniture to attempt to obscure his bright purple jacket and coiffured hair. It wasn’t long before everyone was yelling surprise, and Pickler was splitting their eardrums with her screech, and the dog was puddling the floor.

At least Penny had that charm on speed-dial.

“I think she’s surprised…!” Cepheus remarked with a smile, and decided it was far too quiet and awkward with the surprise over, so flicked his own wand to let the cheesy pop music restart. It was more bearable than the pregnant pause to deal with the dog pee.

He bumped his wand arm into another guest.
“Sorry, darling.” Gamp reacted automatically, spotting the dress before he spotted who was wearing it. “Oh, sorry, saw the dress - and - well, that’s commitment to the costume, mate.” Cepheus was suitably impressed with Shade’s choice. He’d never dare wear a dress. “I’m Prince, and you’re a princess, then?”

1.

Prince

Shade was beginning regretting listening to his sister's silly dare, although, he had gotten a few compliments already. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about that.

It got quiet all of a sudden while they waited for the guest of honor to arrive, then when she did, he said surprise with everyone else and then heard her say that the dog peed.  It was laughable at best, he chuckled while watching the birthday girl seem to gather the fact that there was a party in her house.

Then someone bumped into him.  He heard the person say, "Sorry, darling." and he turned around to look.  It was someone dressed as a vaguely familiar musician his parents listened too, but he couldn't place the name.  "Commitment, sure ..." he started, and then mentioned, "My twin dared me to. I've never been one to back out of my twin's dares..."

            "SURPRISE!"

Even though he was a part of the concerted effort, Sylvain felt surprised by the volume of their yell. He couldn't blame the creature! Or poor Penny. Someone had quickly charmed music to cover for the awkward silence, which was good thinking. Sylvain approached the birthday girl and kneeled to placate her dog with friendly rubs while the puddle was cleaned up.

"Pardon, Penny!" the handler apologised sheepishly. "I will take care of, um, Pez. You must go enjoy yourself! It is your party. Bon anniversaire!"

"Happy early Birthday!" Fauna rose from behind the foliage, stepped forward, and hugged Penny with extreme gentleness, not wanting any of the quills to lose their charm and accidentally poke her.

Screw it. The cloak was way too warm for a party.

She shucked her cloak, throwing it over the coat rack where it teetered precariously and the quills quivered. Fauna adjusted her porcupine hat. She shrugged at Theta as if to say, she'd had good intentions. She smoothed out her polka dot tank top and shorts, and gave Penny a real hug this time.

"You okay? Is the party okay?" Fauna had a sudden bout of nerves. Penny had been so startled she'd screamed!

So many people had made it! Poodle Man (Fauna gave him a grateful look for cleaning up Pez's mess), a pair of pirates (hi Tia!), and Cepheus Gamp making friends with a guy in a dress (kudos!). Fauna tried not to look at Cepheus too obviously. She had a gift for Penny somewhere upstairs, but Cephus was, truly, the main gift, and Fauna moved aside to let Penny see for herself.

Josie had come dressed as a Pansy. Because then people could call her a pansy with a reason for one night. She was friends with Penny at school. Josie was in the year below. Josie had shouted surprise. She was pouring alcohol into the punch. It was now very strong. She got two cups. "Happy Birthday Penny!" She said. She handed one of the cups to Penny. "Get that in you. You will need it tonight." She giggled.

Tia laughed, half-delighted and half-surprised by the birthday girl's reaction to their enthusiasm. Luckily there were already people rushing to explain and unburden Penny while the rest of the party continued on - looser and more at ease for no longer having to anticipate her arrival. The other pirate Tia had been speaking to went to join some of his friends at the punch bowl, so she slipped away in search of somebody else to bother.

Like... royalty! The witch approached her cousin Cepheus from behind, cheerfully throwing her arms over his shoulders. "Prince! I like it, purple's your colour!" she interrupted his conversation with a bloke wearing an absolutely gorgeous dress. Who knew there were so many fun costumes that could being with a P??

"Hi there!" Adrestia grinned at Shade, "I'm Tia, pirate extraordinaire. Love the outfit. Are you wearing heels with those?" she tried to peer down towards his feet but it was a proper floor-length frock.

A party where everything involved 'p'?

Grace had pretty much forgotten all about it with her busy week even if she had mentioned that she might end up showing up late due to her "double duty" work schedule to accommodate auror training and extra field medic skill practice. She had assured them that she would be there, and would bring a special surprise with her.

At least Grace had gone ahead and come up with an idea for an appropriate costume for it when Theta and Fauna had shared the initial plans for it. In fact, she ended up buying two costumes just in case she changed her mind.

On a day trip to London where she stopped off to spend time with her muggle family (father and brother), she managed to find two plush pajama onesies - a pig and a penguin - that were all the rage. Or so she was told. Initially she didn't understand the enthusiasm for them but when she changed into one just before leaving St. Mungos, she was won over. She could instantly see why anyone would wear nothing else. Grace Eddy was determined to find a whole closet full of them and could easily envision herself existing outside of work in nothing else. Who needed to aspire to more?

She didn't even mind stopping into a bakery to pick up peach, pear, and plum pies dressed as the penguin. She ignored the sidelong glances and decided to order a pineapple upside down cake and some perfectly pretty petit fours as well. Why shouldn't Penny have all the perfect 'p' deliciousness?

Grace managed to arrive back at the Radford Estate just before the birthday girl did and happily blended in with the others to surprise her.

She heaved a sigh of relief at having made it back in time and resolved to try to forget any nagging thoughts of work or other responsibilities.

You need to have some fun,she silently scolded herself as she grabbed a glass of punch and started to make her rounds of greeting some of the other guests.

In her best penguin impression, she padded by a Prince and a princess and raised her glass in a toast. "Your majesties...."

She made the effort to bow, but immediately realized her penguin suit was so big on her that she could have pulled some of the fabric away and curtsied with it.

Laughing and shrugging, she said to them, "You both look perfect."

The positively perfect Cepheus Gamp stood before her. He was dressed in purple. Everything was perfect about him but his name. Alliteration made everything so much better and it was the only way to improve on the near perfection that was her supervisor and love of her life. Unfortunately, he was talking to someone else.

"Pardon, Penny!" The beautiful French man or poodle came close and started to fuss over Pez, who’s pee had been polished off the parquet flooring.

“You’re a sweetheart, Sylvie.” The polka dot loving Pickler responded with a pretty smile. Before she had the chance to say anything more, a porcupine covered in pines mauled her, arms wrapping around her and wishing her a happy birthday. When the porcupine did step back, Penny grinned at her friend and housemate before yet another hug!

“It’s prodigious and purely perfect Fauna!” Penny excitedly told her friend, her own gaze casting past Fauna to Cepheus. Now whatever was handed to Penny, she threw precaution to the powerful p-wind and gulped it down, pulling a face as she did so.

“I’m not dressed in anything, P, Fauna.” Penny muttered quietly, gripping her friends now considerably less spiky arm. “What will Cepheus think?”

The surprise went to plan, apart from the pissing puppy, Theta thought. She had decided to dress up as a Muggle police officer, because when it came to costumes she’d stopped off at a Muggle shop on a walk to get inspiration. Of all the P-related costumes, she figured it would be unlikely someone else from the wizarding world would choose a Muggle-P, but she had completely misjudged her audience. However, a costume was a costume, and even if her police officer outfit was rather more revealing than the ones the Muggle women actually wore for duty, it was still a fun costume and simple enough to slip on after all the party prep was done!

There were hugs, the pee was cleaned up, someone shoved punch into Penny’s hand and then Theta made it to her friend and housemate.

“I’m not dressed in anything, P, Fauna. What will Cepheus think?” Theta overheard the low mutter to Fauna as she drew in for a hug.

“Oh Penny,” Theta said, “perhaps you are best to pop upstairs to put down your things and see what present is on your bed.” She paused, putting a hand to her lips. “That’s not as suggestible as I meant it,” Cepheus Gamp was still downstairs, after all, “but I think you’ll look perfect.” Perfect in polkadots, as Theta had laid a brand new polkadot dress on her housemate’s bed.