Title taken from Ke$ha's "Tik Tok."

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It was usually Augustine who felt like this after an evening out.  But now, stretching in her bed, it was Theodosia’s turn to have a splitting headache and absolutely no desire to claw her way out from between the sheets.  A soft, pained groan accompanied her slight roll – just far enough to strain and see the clock: it was barely 8 AM. 

Normally, she would have whined in protest, but as the first sour notes left her mouth, the searing pain through her eyes intensified and she flopped back, silently and cringing.  Her left arm haphazardly draped over her eyes as she muttered about how cruel and unfair the universe was. 

She didn’t even have plans until 11 AM. 

But, her plans hardly coincided with the alcohol-induced pain upon her body.  She had convinced her crew to go out the previous evening – celebrate a little (and do something fun for once!).  They had surpassed celebrating a little an hour in.  After the maybe ninth round of drinks and dancing to pulsating music, Dosia had completely lost track of everyone.  Well, for a minute.  She had found Jai, but he had been… occupied. 

It was a good thing they’d all agreed to meet up at brunch the following day.  She wanted to check in on how things went after she left… if she could read a social situation (and she could), it didn’t seem like the most chaste of introductions. 

Honestly, the promise of finding out whether or not a miracle had occurred the previous night was the only thing that even made Dosia consider trying to get up again after a lengthy period of trying to breathe without gagging.  The idea of a hangover potion helped too.  She swung her legs over the side of the bed and rubbed at her eyes. 

It was one of those, shake out your hair, down a potion, and pull on whatever you were going to wear off the floor and grab a tea on the go.  She ignored the pig as she tugged on her trainers near the door.  Snatching her backpack off the hook, she slung it over one shoulder and sauntered out of the flat – flicking her sunglasses down as the first few rays of light hit her face.

She was so glad they planned to meet close to her, at least.  It was so bright out and Dosia was just not about it right now.  Tucking her chin down, Dosia charged forward and arrived at the brunch spot maybe a squeeze early, but they knew her here and their table was, thankfully not taken.  “You know who to tell I’m here,” Dosia smirked at the hostess who nodded with understanding as Dosia breezed by – menus following along and in wait of the rest of her party as she plopped down in her seat.

She really needed a mimosa. 

Why had he agreed to this?

This was the question that Jai was currently fixated on. He was trudging through the streets of London, wondering why the hell he had agreed to this. It was hot, and the brightest it had ever been. He didn’t care how wrinkled and greasy his clothes were. Mainly he was trying to keep the world from tilting.

Just a few hours earlier he had been having fun. It had been a while since Jai had a night out with his friends; everyone had been getting settled into ‘adult’ jobs. It was bizarre to realize that only a year ago they had been worrying about finals. Now he was fighting the temptation to have a cigarette to calm his hangover.

He gave in and bummed one off one of the people standing outside the restaurant. The blinding sun felt like prime smoking weather. These people were the dedicated few who would huddle outside even in below freezing temperatures; they could probably tell that Jai was a poser. As he used his wand to light the cigarette he decided he didn’t care right now. This was something he’d have to panic about later, like in the few minutes before he fell asleep.

Once he’d had enough he crushed the stick on the ground to put it out and then did a quick spell to dissolve it. At least he could stop himself from littering.

Jai nodded at the hostess who had gestured to Dosia, who had of course been the one to drag them all together. “Bread?” he said without a greeting. He kept his sunglasses on and sat down in a way that could be described as a “flop.” Bread, he figured, would soak up some of the refuse from last night’s outing.

There was a certain beauty in having a routine. 

Theodosia didn’t even have to ask for the bread bucket, or the first round of drinks.  The pitcher floated down to the middle of the table and Dosia did not hesitate to pour herself a glass.  And then another glass as soon as she saw Jai walk up. 

“Grab some,” she instructed him, also sans proper greeting.  It was too early for such things and without even a sip of hair of the hippogriff in her there would be no chance she’d make it very far.   “Still waiting on a few,” she gruffly informed him as her eyes searched over the menu.

There had to be something with bacon on this menu that would satisfy her need for something greasy to soak up the alcohol.  Starting with a sip of mimosa, at least she’d be able to bite into a piece of bread.  As she lazily chewed on the bread, Dosia flicked her eyes up at him, “Night that good, eh?”

As tired and miserable as he was, Jai was looking forward to the traditional debriefing. His night had gone rather well, for a change. And according to the partying equilibrium, that meant that someone else had to have had a pretty terrible one. When Jai had parted ways with the group, circumstances seemed to favor Lennon for that.

“Mmmf.” Jai slumped in his chair. He nibbled on the bread and drank some water before going back to anything alcoholic. He did proceed to follow Dosia’s instructions to pour himself a mimosa. Before he took a drink, from his body erupted a rumbling belch. Jai did his best to control it and then looked at Dosia with a look of shock on his face.

“Night that good, eh?”

Despite his hangover misery a smile threatened to show on Jai’s face. “Shut up,” he said. He finally drank some of his  mimosa. His stomach gurgled in response; Jai gave it some bread. He was about to start teasing her about the pair of guys who had been competing for her attention last night when the waitress walked over to their table.

“Egg in a basket?” Jai said vaguely. “And coffee. And a cinnamon bun.” Jai looked at the waitress helplessly. She knew their condition. He would have ordered more, but he knew that Dosia would be getting bacon and he could steal some (especially if she wasn’t looking) and hopefully there would be fruit somewhere.

JJ, by some miracle, was not hungover.

In fact, he was rarely, if ever, hungover. His friends were never that lucky. Especially Dosia, who seemed to be hungover literally every time they hung out. He arrived at the restaurant, freshly showered with newly laundered clothes. He was in his brunch gear-- effortlessly stylish and prepared for day drinking.

He found his friends' table right as the waitress was taking orders. "I want a mimosa." He said, "But a big one. Get me a manmosa." Because clearly if it was giant, it was a man's mimosa. Oh. Wait. She was taking food orders too. In a mild panic, he looked from Jai, to Dosia, and then to the waitress. "Get me a full breakfast." JJ gave Dosia some side eye, "Extra bacon." Because goddammit, she was going to eat all of his bacon again.

"SO." He grinned, "On a scale of Muggly the Bear to Dosia after New Years, how hungover are you?"

Taking a rather horrifyingly unladylike bite out of the bread on the table, Dosia wrinkled her nose – she would clearly not shut up – but the bread took precedence.  It was even better too, because Jai was ready to order and Dosia still didn’t really know what she wanted… besides bacon. 

Suffering to do the driest swallow on the face of the planet as Jai finished his order, Dosia reached quickly for her mimosa and took an overwhelming gulp, smacking her lips as she finished.  “My turn!” she snapped her menu shut and looked up at the waitress who, by all accounts, did not seem to care for them very much. 

She looked even less like she liked them when JJ showed up and just plopped right into the seat reserved for him, completely cutting her off from putting her order in.  Glancing over the tops of her sunglasses she made sure the eye roll she delivered was more obvious than anything she’d done done thus far – because, come on? Was his masculinity really that fragile?  Obviously. 

She figured the waitress was probably thinking the same thing – but she wasn’t sure if Jai would pick up on it.  He certainly wouldn’t typically, so she had to make sure he made eye contact with her and she raised her eyebrows.  “I’ll have the pancakes with strawberry jam and clotted cream,” she finally got to order, “and a plate of bacon – extra, actually, with another mimosa” she cast a furtive and suspicious glance around the table.  Each and every one of them were veritable bacon thieves. 

When the waitress left, Dosia scoffed at JJ’s question and decided she’d take the opportunity to change the topic back.  She’d never gotten a good answer from Jai about the rest of his night – and she really didn’t want to hear about how JJ never got hung over again.  “Jai was just about to tell me how well his evening went…” she narrowed her eyes at him, turning his head a little bit.  “And answer if that’s a hickey or a billywig sting bruise on his neck.” 

"But a big one. Get me a manmosa."
 
“Manmosa here too,” Jai agreed. That sounded like the drink he needed; a mimosa sounded like an item of clothing. The only item of clothing Jai cared about right now was his sunglasses, which were providing him the miracle of sight on this, the brightest day in history. Dosia sent Jai a look over the table and he had no idea why, so he looked behind him to see if someone else had shown up.
 
"On a scale of Muggly the Bear to Dosia after New Years, how hungover are you?"
 
Just attempting to consider the level of his hangover prompted Jai to pipe up with, “And a bowl of apple porridge!” before the waitress left the table. He knew that despite doing this every time they went out together, his friends would still probably look at him as if he’d just gone ahead ordered an entire horse to eat. The worse the hangover, the more food ordered, the darker the sunglasses. He plucked a banana from a bowl of fruit the waitress had mercifully put on the table and wondered if she was in fact a Seer.
 
“Jai was just about to tell me how well his evening went…” she narrowed her eyes at him, turning his head a little bit.  “And answer if that’s a hickey or a billywig sting bruise on his neck.”
 
Jai stopped mid-peel and slapped a hand on his neck. “No there’s not,” he said like he obviously didn’t know. He turned to JJ because he didn’t trust Dosia to be honest, “Is there?” His head panged and he groaned.

The waitress left, looking a little overwhelmed. They weren't exactly being the easiest customers to get orders from.

Jesus, Dosia was grumpy. Maybe JJ was reading too much into it-- but he swore that she was in a sour mood. Whatever. She was probably hangry. She'd get over whatever wand was up her butt today.

However, his attention swiftly shifted to Jai. She was right. There was something on his neck. He let out a loud, abrupt, booming laugh. "Jai! Did you go home with someone last night?!" That was a cause for celebration. "I'll pay for your manmosa."

It was such a shame even food from a magical establishment had to be cooked.  She would have liked some instant bacon at this moment; just in front of her and piping hot ready to eat. 

But life was not fair.  And thus, she had to endure talk of manmosas until it arrived.  And even then, someone was probably going to want her to share and she hated sharing.  Unless, of course, it benefited her in some way.  Then sharing was absolutely required for civil society. 

Until the time arrived where the question of sharing was really necessary, they’d instead focus on the blue-ish mark on Jai’s skinny neck.  This was a topic of conversation that Dosia could at least get into!  Dropping her glasses further down her nose so they rested on the finely pointed tip, “Which one was it?” she grilled, and then looked over to JJ with a knowing look. 

“jai was a player last night,” she explained, lowering her voice as though it were some big, juicy secret.  “All over some redhead – and then this slaggy brunette,” Dosia just thought she looked a little too much like his crazy ex-girlfriend, “you really missed out.”

Jai finished peeling his banana grumpily. "I didn't even know hickeys could happen with a beard." The thought of it was kind of bizarre, but then again Jai didn't generally kiss people with beards. No interest in it at all, actually, and so maybe it was a girl thing.

"I told you should shave it off," one Lennon Maltby interjected as he sat down. Finally he had joined them, which meant that they could all stop worrying and hear the story of what on earth had happened to him last night. His stories often made Jai wonder how Lennon was still alive. "Girls dig it. They'll be all," Lennon continued in a high-pitched voice "Ohhh, you're so tough." Lennon commandeered Jai's banana before he could take a bite.

"Have you ever heard of The Phantom of the Opera?" Jai asked as he snatched his banana just as Lennon's mouth was about to close onto it. He glared at Lennon, who probably couldn't see it through the sunglasses. He knew what his offense was. Nobody stole Jai's hangover food. Nobody. Jai maintained the glare as he finally took a bite.

"Jai was a player last night... All over some redhead – and then this slaggy brunette..."

With his mouth full, Jai couldn't defend himself. "That redhead was all over me!" He said once he could manage it. The slaggy brunette, however... she had correctly understood that scenario. Thinking about her made him smile. He didn't know whether or not she was a slag, it seemed like she led a promiscuous life, but she had been nice. The redhead had been very, very drunk and was at least fifteen years older than Jai. She had explained that she had just gotten divorced and was looking for a rebound. Apparently Jai had caught her eye and she became very taken with him. It had been terrible. The brunette had saved him from the situation by acting like his girlfriend.

"And Emily*," Jai emphasized her name to prove that she was more than just a random brunette, "was really cool. She was so tall, did you see her standing next to me?" At 6"4', Jai had to more or less bend himself in half when he was snogging girls. Jai was still taller than him, but not by very much at all.



*Emeline Trumble