“Well see to it that it’s sorted. I don’t expect your case files to be available for ghosts to steal.” The wizard’s dark eyed gaze scanned from the Head of the Spirit Division to the Werewolf head. “Your proposal can be on my desk by Thursday morning. Put some actual detail in it.”

The two wizards were dismissed by Carter simply now looking to the next two on his hit list. They were sat in his office, now free of pixie excrement and chaos. He’d not bothered to put his mark on the office yet, avoiding the personal touches to instead focus on getting to know his department. The past week had been spent observing and gathering information about the department. He’d said very little and done very little other than simply listen. Now it was time to talk.

With half of his division heads now out of the office and the door once more closed, Alec let out a sigh, sitting back in his chair and crossing his legs. His shirt sleeves were rolled up, the tie he’d worn for the Head of Departments meeting that morning was flung over the back of his chair and his top button was once more undone. Alexander Carter was not a wizard who fit a suit comfortably.

“It took a few spells to get the pixie excrement out of the carpet.” He wasn’t going to stand on ceremony and pretend they’d impressed him this week. They hadn’t. “Most people make judgements on first impressions. My impressions of your divisions? Chaotic. The very nature of what we deal with on a daily basis is chaotic, unpredictable. You can’t run the department following the same principle or very little will be done and disasters like what happened on my arrival will be far too regular an occurrence.”

“This week has shown me two division heads far more interested in being friends with their staff than really leading them. You’ve” an eye was cast at Spectre, “been spending department time socialising and you,” next was Gamp, “have an assistant that can’t seem to even tie her own shoelaces. I need to be shown that I’m wrong.”

What had begun as their regular Division Heads meeting, the first with their new Department Head since Hollow had departed, was now deteriorating. Sat beside Balfour, Cepheus had one leg folded over the other, and a small black notebook open. He’d made a few notes so far, but the longer Carter’s nitpicking prevailed against the Werewolf team and Spirit Division’s leaders, the less optimistic the Being Division Head became.

The day Carter had arrived hadn’t been their best, but Ceph had intended to set out on the right foot. He’d kept a careful eye out for Alec’s presence during the last week, and he’d been a shadow at a few of their meetings. It shouldn’t have made Cepheus feel at all uncomfortable, but he had a diverse set of teams under his guidance, not all who got on well together. The Goblin Liaison Office, for all they were impeccably turned out, were often snooty, as bad as the goblins they worked with. The various ambassadors all had differing opinions on the other beings, and their vampire consultant, Tristan, had already lodged a complaint against Level 2, who in turn had caused Penelope to have a minor meltdown over Ed Pratt’s manners. This was before his young squib secretary, Kayla put her foot in it any deeper. Her card had been marked within the hour of meeting Carter.

At least today, Carter’s shovel-sized hands were free of pixie crap. They knew their new leader was a former dragon-handler, so Cepheus expected him to get on well with Balfour with the common ground. He disliked wearing ties, though he’d put one on for the Minister. Ceph had worn his own, erring on caution that Carter ruled do as I say, not as I do. He also had come from the Norwegian Ministry, but was a member of the recognisable Carter family - as in, Head Healer’s brother, son of Carter on the St Mungo’s board.

They’d gone to the pub together that first weekend - Kayla had insisted, misguidedly, to invite them all to her 18th birthday drinks. Carter hadn’t stuck around long. Ceph didn’t blame him. Kayla had uttered something about the Department Head’s arse by Tuesday after his arrival. Cepheus had checked himself when he’d glanced in the same direction out of curiosity. Alec Carter wasn’t his type, not just because he was Ceph’s boss, but he was decidedly straight.

As the minutes ticked by, Ceph’s hope for the meeting reached lower and lower expectations. It was turning to dread. He glanced sideways to Balfour, trying to measure his colleague’s temperature on this. He felt like he was in the Headteacher’s office, or worse, his father’s office when he’d been drawn into mischief led by his older brother, Orion, and Mortimer Gamp had delivered disappointment and worse.

The other two were dismissed, and Cepheus swallowed as quietly as he could, glancing up as they left. The door clicked shut and the boys were the only remaining focus of their boss.

“My impressions of your divisions? Chaotic….” Ceph’s heart was thrumming quickly in his chest beneath his jacket, and the point of his quill had dug into the page of his notebook without him realising, his hand clenched. “… more interested in being friends with their staff than really leading them…” Carter continued, Cepheus blinked and dropped eye contact a moment to process, as their boss turned first on Balfour for socialising - a polite way of putting it - “… have an assistant that can’t seem to even tie her own shoelaces.”

That was pretty true, Cepheus thought, though he was soft on Kayla.

“Sir.” Cepheus acknowledged, voice quiet, careful to be respectable in tone. “She’s in her probation. I will address it with her, but would you expand on ‘chaotic’ in terms of our leadership?”

He was going to regret asking, he could feel it in his bones.

He hated Mondays.

It didn't used to be that way. Balfour used to love Mondays, back when his weekends were drunken and fruitless and the siren call of work would drive him mad. Now his desires were being manhandled by that other siren call - a domestic life that offered a different allure - and so Mondays had grown to become a creature deserving of ambivalence.

This particular Monday was full-on terrible.

The Scotsman had tried to sit still through the verbal onslaught delivered to the other two division heads but it was at the cost of feeling like a wayward Slytherin once more. Luckily, Alec Carter had nothing on Severus Snape's malevolent glare.

Balfour exchanged the odd glance with his peer, recognising the dread in Ceph's eyes and giving a small imperceptible nod to confirm the feeling. This was going to be a pain in the arse. He didn't have to wait long for it to be confirmed. Carter started speaking, and Bal sat up at attention.

            "...been spending department time socialising and you... can’t seem to even tie her own shoelaces. I need to be shown that I’m wrong."
"...with her, but would you expand on ‘chaotic’ in terms of our leadership?"

Cepheus replied first, in a tone of voice far more respectful than the one Balfour would have chosen on impulse. Fortunately he knew better than to go with impulse these days.

"That would be exceedingly useful," he agreed as he straightened his blazer slightly - it was his good purple pinstripe today for a succession of formal meetings - and nodded at Ceph. "If you could be more specific then maybe we'll be able to answer to better satisfaction. What exactly do you consider socialising on department time, for example?"

Balfour's brow wrinkled earnestly, in thought, affecting innocence. He had hardly blinked in response to the accusation - Mrs L levelled it at him often enough - but he needed to know what Alec knew if he was going to... avoid detection in the future.

Gamp jumped to his assistant’s defence, all be it politely. He asked what Alec considered chaotic and Alec found himself considering the list of things he’d found chaotic since his arrival. The department wasn’t run as smoothly as it had been in Norway, but perhaps that was more due to poor leadership from the top than anything else. Alec was yet to decide.

Balfour’s tone was less preferable. The ‘exceeding useful’ comment rubbed Carter up the wrong way, but he didn’t comment. He felt like he was a professor with a couple of irksome pupils in detention in his office. Perhaps this was what Miranda’s new husband felt like daily.

“I’ve spent time this week familiarising myself with names and faces on the department roster. One face I’ve seen more of than some staff comes from Level 5. A romantic liason perhaps?” His dark eyes bore into Balfour’s. “Now he seems like a very friendly wizard, but I don’t want to see him every day on my floor distracting my staff. I’m sure he has a job to do elsewhere.” Dark brows rose before the wizard sat back in his chair.

“Rather than control and regulation, I fear this department has turned into a dumping ground for cases about creature protection with less focus on the regulation. We have a responsibility to British wizarding society and instead veelas are breaking into fireball fights outside my office door and giants are romping in the Clent Hills with no repercussions. We’re supposed to stop fights breaking out because one horny giant has grabbed his friend’s mate’s buttock with too much vigour.” It was ridiculous said aloud.

“… a romantic liaison perhaps?”

Cepheus took in a sudden lungful of air to suppress the tickle of laughter threatening the serious tone. On the surface, Carter was being rather diplomatic about Balfour’s boyfriend, but Cepheus couldn’t take sides in this room at least. He swallowed noisily and avoided looking at Balfour.

“… dumping ground for cases about creature protection with less focus on the regulation. We have a responsibility to British wizarding society, and instead veelas are breaking into fireball fights outside my office door, and giants are romping in the Clent Hills with no repercussions-” Cepheus drew breath to interrupt, but held his tongue, “… one horny giant has grabbed…”

Good Gods, it was lucky this conversation was in the office in an entirely sober situation. Such lines could have Level Four dissolve into childish giggles and re-enactments.

“Both regrettable incidents, Sir.” Cepheus agreed. “There will be repercussions for the giants involved, though we are still engaged with refining the boundaries of their protected habitats, with limited numbers introduced to the Isles. We are securing land on the Welsh border to move one to, establish another tribe.” As for the veelas, he wasn’t going to defend them. They were as temperamental as goblins, but threw fireballs while goblins threatened to make coins disappear.

“Since the last war our regulations have been stripped back to be less heavy-handed for the threatened populations.”

It took all of Balfour's restraint not to let his eyebrows disappear into his hairline, as the words romantic liaison came out of Carter's mouth. He controlled his features and settled for what looked like a mildly surprised expression, glancing quickly at Cepheus to see if the other wizard had also reacted. The obvious swallow told Bal all he needed to know. It was reassuring to have Gamp here with him.

            "Since the last war our regulations have been stripped back to be less heavy-handed for the threatened populations."

A good reminder for their new department head, it seemed. Balfour nodded in agreement with his peer - no point in risking an actual remark, as Beings were quite literally not his division. But Carter seemed to think that protection and regulation were mutually exclusive, or at least on opposite ends of a spectrum... and he clearly didn't have a stomach for the ridiculous, which was disappointing.

"Beasts Division is more than happy to work towards a more regulatory framework, or whatever you have in mind-" Balfour cut in by way of hopefully nudging something besides frustrated remarks from the older wizard, "- as long as it's in keeping with our policies... that is, unless we intend to alter those quite soon? Do we have much change to look forward to in that respect?"

Carter was having a wonderful hissy fit over pixie shit and homophobic giants but the Scotsman didn't come to work to hear a grown man gossip about liaisons (or about responsibility to a British society that both of his division heads had a better right to knowing).

He wanted to know how Carter was going to affect actual policy, the system they worked in. It would make good fodder for The Haunting Hour at least.

"And of course, you won't have to see my partner any more than is acceptable if that's an issue -" he added quickly, "- I'll take steps to ensure it."

A blatant lie... but technically the truth. Carter wasn't omniscient and most Beast Division would rather be eaten by a Horntail than squeal on each other to the Big Bad Boss. Balfour was going to have to be extra careful; worst come to worst, there was at least no Ministry protocol against office lunches. Give or take a salad extravaganza.[1]

1.	Innocence is Futile [M] - February '11