The Great Hall


Balfour Spectre leaned back against one of the many tables laid out for level four's fair booth this morning. The desks were arranged in a long, curved row to accommodate the different divisions without altogether separating them; he occupied one end, surrounded by the preserved shells of various beasts and stacks of relevant pamphlets. Open crates featured small Nifflers that they all prayed would not get loose, and a floating cage contained a pair of eerily quiet Jobberknolls.

Beings Division dominated the centre, and Spirit the other end. Students came and went: some only stopping to pick up pamphlets, others lingering around to ask specific questions.

At present they were having a lull. Balfour chewed on a soft Kreple[1] he had nicked from his lover's level five display[2] that neighboured their own. If he looked over at the right time, he could catch sight of the dark haired wizard chattering away with that sinful tongue. Grigory and Bai had both taken a soft break to fetch proper refreshment.

Balfour bit off another piece of pastry, chewing determinedly as more students wandered past. It was close to the lunch hour and so there was a laid back climate around the booths. He glanced over at Ceph's section, offering the last half of his doughnut.

"Mmffbite?" he swallowed. "Free of Niffler fur, promise."

1.	A kind of German doughnut.
2.	Travel, Trade, Talk and Trouble - 22nd April, adjacent booth

“It’s not the nifflers I’m worried about.” Ceph replied, gesturing with a hand to decline the offer.

The Being Division Head’s attention was drawn back to the scale models of habitats spread out on the table, several crowded on a space about the size of a single bedcover. Someone had a bit of an artistic bent in Ceph’s team and a lack of social life. As it would have been lethal to bring an actual giant with them to the fair (and besides, giants at Hogwarts left a bad taste in many mouths for the late nineties) they had to improvise with scale models of their communities. One couldn’t invite a vampire - it was daytime, hags were liable to try and consume students, goblins were too up themselves, house-elves were not exactly lacking which left… veelas and werewolves.

Ceph was putting the lull down to the fact their rather attractive veela colleague had excused herself for a ‘powder break’, tailed by a flock of spotty teenage boys.

“Thanks for the offer,” Ceph added, glancing back up again, “But I’m sure I can persuade your dealer to fix me up later.” He smiled and raised his eyebrows as he glanced past Balfour in the direction of the International Magical Cooperation booth. “I think we’ll be receiving an unusually high number of male applicants this year. What about you?”

“Hmm, maybe,” replied a voice that definitely wasn’t Balfour Spectre’s.

Professor Duerr appeared before the table, with a welcome smile to the two wizards. Clad in a navy dress with white spots, the Professor navigated the stalls with interest, taking the odd note for her lessons and her arithmancy students, until she had reached familiar faces. First her son who was deep in conversation but waved back when she signalled she would do a loop and return, then Balfour (or as he felt of late, her second son) with colleagues, representing his department.

She watched their veela colleague’s progress across the hall, and her entourage, and chuckled.
“Sometimes it doesn’t take a veela to do that.” She opened her arms to Balfour, “How are you darling?” Dear me, he looked dressed such for his own entourage - were those leather trousers? And all bare forearms. It wasn’t good to eyeball one’s potential son-in-law but, his appearance rather invited it. She left a kiss on each of his cheeks in affectionate greeting.

“Have you had a lot of students come and chat, my dears?”

He had nearly forgotten that Johann's mother would be at the fair - she taught at Hogwarts after all. Balfour put aside his Kreple (scattering snowy sugar across pamphlets about Merpeople and Manticores) to receive Camille's friendly embrace and sweet kisses. She looked wonderful this day, the school having imparted its welcoming glow to all its inhabitants.

"Oh, I'm fine-" Bal answered the first question and stopped himself from looking over at a certain Level Five stall the way he'd been doing ever five minutes before, "We've had a healthy number of them, I'd say, before they were charmed away." Odin bless the magic of the Veela.

The Scotsman gestured to their displays and tables as he continued. "I thought it would be easier to attract trainees but I think the danger seems a bit too real when we talk about dragon stink. Or giant stink," he threw a wink in Ceph's direction.

“They’ve just become soft since our day,” retorted Ceph, and made a face. “Gosh, I’ve aged a few decades with that expression.” He shook his head and returned his attention to the scale model briefly, as two of the model giants were sizing each other up.

“We sometimes get applicants later in the day, though, once they’ve ruled out some of the more headline-grabbing roles in Magical Law Enforcement, and realised the Mystery on Nine requires outstanding NEWTs in all directions and potentially not seeing your family for a while if you want to do anything mind blowing. We on four are where the real work gets done, not that The Prophet always dedicates column inches.” Cepheus explained, in a little rant, he realised.

“I’m sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox. I’m not sure we’ve been introduced but I can’t help but feel I’ve seen you before.” Cepheus extended his hand, “Cepheus Gamp, Head of Being Division.”

“Camille S- Duerr,” the Hogwarts Arithmancy professor returned the introduction, shaking his hand. Balfour’s colleague came across altogether less boisterous and rough around the edges. He was more softer spoken and decidedly English. “I teach Arithmancy. I don’t think we spoke last month when you were here for the talks, but I was amongst the audience for ‘crowd control.’” She smiled sweetly at him.

“I am sure you will have some takers, Balfour. Didn’t young Moira McBoid work a little with you at Christmas? Johann said she seemed just the fit.” Camille drew closer to the pamphlets and cast her eye over them. “Now, what sort of roles do you both think would be good for budding arithmancers? I am forever looking to branch out the possible careers to encourage them to study. Not everyone wants to work for banks, cursebreaking or theoretical potions.”

Balfour finished off his kreple, grinning between the last couple of bites as Cepheus drew himself up into making an argument that none of them here could (or wanted to) oppose. For all his politeness, the other wizard was a true agitator of the status quo. He would make a good guest on The Haunting Hour if the opportunity arose some day - the rights of Beings was not an unpopular subject of discussion lately.

              "...but I was amongst the audience for ‘crowd control.’"
"And I'm sure they needed controlling," Bal remarked amusedly with a glance at the rest of the hall.

Camille was ever the comfort, however, reminding him of what takers level four did have for the coming year. He ceded a nod at McBoid's name and tried not to think about the awkward exchange they'd had over Christmas when Moira had been doing a quick stint on his floor.

"Can't say I know any arithmancers in my division..." Balfour dusted sugar off his hands before joining the witch in her browsing of their tables, "But our Centaur liaison office might be a good fit. They appreciate that sort of thing." The centaurs were troublesome enough as it was, by refusing to be categorised as Beings; suffice to say the office was a redundant one.

“Centaur liaison, Balfour!” Cepheus echoed, with a grin. “Has there been a Centaur use that?” He asked his colleague, deciding Balfour’s suggestion was well-meant, even if it was an office in-joke.

He looked to Camille, still feeling like she was familiar in some other way. “We’ve the Goblin Liaison Office, which is a possibility, though that would be perhaps stereotyping all goblins into those of Gringotts, even if that is a large part of who they speak to. “I studied Arithmancy for my NEWTs, but I ended up a Gringotts, though after the war I was glad to get out. I still use some of the calculations though, a geographic bent, auspicious dates…” Cepheus slipped his hands into his pockets, lapsing into a Ravenclaw’s nostalgia.

“Could try Games and Sports too,” he suggested with a shrug.

The context of the Centaur Liaison Office being a comparison to being sacked was lost on Camille as an outsider. She appreciated the interest from both of the wizards though, they were genuinely charming and interested in talking to her, which was lovely. She imagined talking to teenagers all day and trying to appeal to their potential career interests made for difficult conversation, and talking to an adult without that pressure was a break.

She reached out and plucked the relevant leaflets from their tables, before straightening the piles without thinking about what she was doing.
“So glad you still keep it up,” Camille expressed to Cepheus, used to people outside her career paths forgetting and shrugging off the magic of numbers in their adult lives. “I will definitely keep your Division in mind for my students, thank you Mr Gamp.”

Johann’s mother reached out to Balfour’s elbow affectionately, pursuing an earlier comment about having dinner together.
“Now you will allow me pin you both down soon, won’t you?” she asked, unaware of how that might sound to Balfour's colleague. “It’s been so long, and feels as if I have hardly seen either of you since Christmas. If I wasn’t here, I’d have you both every other week.” She gave a wink.

Balfour laughed, feeling chastised in good humour by his colleague's much more sensible reply to Camille. Arithmancers were definitely a better fit for Beings Division - a beast handler wouldn't know what to do with one who didn't also have a proclivity for danger and wild creatures. Gringotts seemed a likelier destination although Bal was glad Cepheus ended up on level four, where he belonged in earnest.

A touch at the Scotsman's elbow had him looking away from his friend, and if he had still been eating his kreple he might have choked at Camille's phrasing.

            "...as if I have hardly seen either of you since Christmas. If I wasn’t here, I’d have you both every other week."

Oh, where was Johann when you needed him? Balfour licked his lips, suppressing laughter, and patted her shoulder in reassurance. "You may have us both whenever suits your schedule. Can't possibly refuse," he pulled a genuinely contrite expression. "I'm sorry we don't see enough of each other as it is. You know how it is with Ministry work."

Balfour glanced at Ceph with a glimmer in his eye, "Cepheus here is just the same.  Joh and I have to pin him down at work when we want to get together for a friendly meal."

Cepheus gave Camille a polite smile as she thanked him for his input. It was a polite enough exchange, only to be expected from a Hogwarts professor. She wasn’t English, he was more than sure of that now, but since the Tetrawizard tournament the school had been reaching out internationally to bring in the best, and it sounded like Duerr might be one who applied to that.

“… you will allow me to pin you both down soon, won’t you?” Cepheus realised with a glance at the interaction of the Professor to Balfour that she didn’t mean Balfour and Cepheus but probably Balfour and Johann, and lowered his gaze, slipping his hands into his pockets casually before looking up at the milling fair crowds. “… if I wasn’t here, I’d have you both every other week.”

Given the terrible innuendo of the Fourth floor, Cepheus found it hard to suppress the temptation to find humour or innuendo in that line, until he clocked how affectionately Professor Duerr was looking at Balfour, and the wink. Ceph’s amused smile dropped from his cheeks, replaced by surprise.

“You may have us both whenever… I’m sorry we don’t see enough of each other as it is…” Cepheus was staring now, his eyebrows lifting towards his dark hair gradually as the conversation continued. He knew Balfour went both ways, but he hadn’t anticipated he’d persuaded Johann to accommodate a woman. Spectre had definitely got the best of everything.

“Cepheus here is just the same,” Oh Gods don’t look at me. “Joh and I have to pin him down at work-” Fuuu-.

Cepheus was staring at Balfour now, his features registering horror for a fraction before he realised Professor Duerr’s head had turned to regard him as conversation topic. Gamp swiftly replaced his expression with an attempt at a polite smile, only ruined by the visible swallow and the colour in his cheeks that betrayed he was flustered.

“Often just a salad,” he managed by way of explanation to Camille, “working lunch, we don’t get out of the office.” His gaze shot to Balfour’s face trying to convey 'seriously?' “… or a sandwich,” he added, returning his attention to Camille. “I imagine one can’t entertain at Hogwarts.”

“My that doesn’t sound very satisfying, my darlings.” Camille expressed at the suggestion that their lunches were rushed due to their jobs. “Once the weather is better in London you must promise me to take it outside once in a while. Enjoy the little sunshine this rainy country gets.” She looked Cepheus up and down, “It explains how pale you all are.”

She reached out and clasped Ceph’s shoulder with motherly affection. “Perhaps I should book a meeting,” she told them both, “ensure we all spend sufficient time to appreciate a lunch somewhere nice. Johann is always suggesting he introduce me to more people, and from what you say, Cepheus - may I call you that? We already have something in common as I would dearly love to pick your mind further on what did you say, your ‘geographic bends?’” In Camille’s Belgian accent it sounded as if she were describing some manner of yoga. “I am sure you won’t mind sharing, will you Balfour?”

The look on Ceph's face was perfect, and if he had been any good with a bit of charcoal then Balfour would have sketched it to keep forever. Or at least to later show Johann so that they might all have a good laugh. As it was he had to stop himself from laughing just as his colleague schooled the horrified expression to engage in conversation with Camille. Oh. Bal definitely liked flustered wizards. If only the Arithmancer knew what was being inferred!

            "...you must promise me to take it outside once in a while."

He quickly glanced at Cepheus and raised his eyebrows suggestively, remembering the outdoor incident that had prompted the other wizard to help free him and his lover from muggle prison in February. His gaze snapped back to the witch as she continued but he couldn't help interject, "I'm sure Cepheus would be happy to oblige, bends and all. He's ever so flexible."

Balfour was having a fantastic time not-quite-making-sense. He leaned back against his department table, arms crossed, shaking his head happily when Camille asked if he minded sharing. It was probably best not to let this go on for too long... or they would be discovered, and Odin knew what she'd say.

"Of course not. I share him with Johann all the time - or is it that I share your son with Cepheus, rather?" he mused with a playful smile, "Either way. We should all have a picnic, come summer."

It was indeed fortunate that all of the underlying references sailed past Professor Duerr. She was in a jubilant enough mood not to notice something was afoot. Balfour kept such fine friends and colleagues, and she was sure she would enjoy meeting them all between now and whenever the boys got married. Because that was the most obvious route, quite clearly, and the only route she could see the possibility of grandchildren (not that she dared mention it to them both). She could fulfil her wishes to coo over small children when Gabrielle’s little one arrived - it wasn’t long now.

“Heerlijk!” Camille replied to the picnic idea, pressing her palms together gently beneath a beautiful smile. “Well, we will make plans,” she agreed, having caught sight of a scramble of students not far from the stand. “Later, later, I think my duty calls.” She gave a hurried nod to the two wizards and stepped out of the boundary of the stand. “Boys! Boys!”

Oh good Gods she was at it too. Cepheus was having increasing amounts of trouble keeping a straight face. Commenting on how pale Ceph was didn’t help either, as he couldn’t help but be a bit conscious of it beside Balfour’s skin, which tanned at the hint of sun. Not that Ceph had noticed before. Or… admired.

“Johann is always suggesting he introduce me to more people….” was he now, Cepheus wasn’t entirely sure where this was going other than Balfour had this devious and delighted grin on his face.

“Cepheus - may I call you that?” Might as well, he thought, not imagining she’d be yelling it any time soon, but outwardly nodded. This was spiralling rapidly and there had to be some reasonable explanation - surely!

“… or is it that I share your son with Cepheus-”

Had Gamp been a more powerful wizard a lightbulb (or more suitable to their world, a candle) might have lit above his head. That was why Professor Duerr looked somewhat familiar! She was Johann’s mother. Oh good Gods they were joking about foursomes with Johann’s mother. This was going to get retold in the near future, he could tell. He might have to suffer comments about being a nice young man. Well, nothing worse than his mother and the Woolfolks had suggested.

“Later, later, I think my duty calls.” Johann’s mother bowed out and Cepheus graciously smiled back, uttering how lovely it was to meet her, though he was quite sure her attention was already on the students.

“You utter bugger,” Cepheus told Balfour, just loud enough for his colleague to hear, though his expression remained somewhat restrained and professional, “Johann’s mother?” He folded an arm across his waist and let out a sigh, rubbing his face, “I knew she looked familiar for some reason. Why is it I assume you’re talking about…? As if that’s the normal for you two…?” Cepheus shook his head, mortified, “maybe Carter’s right.”