This debate had been going on for some time; it usually did, where Maiko and Adon were concerned.  Inconveniently, the two of them held similar views on more than they’d like to let on, yet both of them had needed to blow off steam.  It was better to quibble about frivolous things, rather than the 99 problems going wrong in each of their lives right about now.  So.  In order to adopt their favorite pastime of being as obnoxious witty as possible, they had taken up turns playing antagonist.  Today, Maiko was up. 

Adon had one thing left to do before he rested his case.  He just wished he wasn’t upside down for this.

“I’m just saying,” Adon’s breathing was coming heavily now, muscles straining, “that George Lucas probably knew of some Israeli mages.”  Red-faced, legs splayed in the air, Adon slowly lifted an arm off of the ground into a single handstand.  “See?” He tilted his head to try to look at her.  The smug smirk of satisfaction wavered a moment as he wobbled.

Somewhere, deep inside, his Inner Dree told him it was rude to gloat.  But Inner Dree didn’t know shit about having fun anyhow.  His shirt now slipping down to show his abdomen, Adon gave a grunt before solidly resting his hand back down on the ground.  Legs came together before sticking a landing like a gymnast.

He tugged at his shirt and mussed with his hair before glancing around the room. His eyes rested on his bottle of IPA on the coffee table. That would do.

 “I mean…” he held his hand out as slowly the bottle scraped its way across the wood towards him, flying into his hand.  A bit sloshed, dribbling down his hand, but he ignored it for now.  He'd just used his two flashiest tricks. He was winning this, and winners didn’t spill.  “C’mon. Think about it.” He flopped down heavily on the couch beside Maiko, comfortably draping his arm across her shoulders and scooching in. He tried, subtly, to wipe his hand on his jeans. “That whole Force thing just screams Muggle-saw-Magic.”

Mai was a fan of Star Wars by default-- with her brother being absolutely obsessed with it, she had seen the films more times than she could count. She'd seen them more than enough to form educated opinions on them. At the handstand, she let out a delighted laugh. She didn't even try to hide the fact that she was impressed-- handstands were hard. She couldn't maintain one for as long as Adon could, that was for sure.

It was hard to play antagonist when his abs the argument was so convincing! The force was clearly based on magic. And Mai doubted that the statute of secrecy has been held up with complete success. What about muggleborn families? Oooh. Maybe he didn't meet some stranger and saw magic, maybe he was related to one!

"Maybe it goes further than that," She said, "Maybe there's a wizard in his family! Muggleborns exist!" Of course Adon knew that. Wait. No. She was supposed to disagree with him. That was the whole point of this game. She shook her head, putting on a serious face. It was time to change her tone.

"I mean..." She corrected herself, struggling to keep her face straight. "Imagination, friendship, and true love are forms of magic. George Lucas didn't witness magic, he created it." Wait, was she arguing that George Lucas invented friendship and true love? Abort! Abort! Time to try a new argument! God, she sucked at this.

Then another idea came into her head. "I don't know if he witnessed magic, because muggles really are imaginative. Besides." She adjusted her seating position, scooting a bit closer to find a comfortable spot, "If anybody witnessed magic, it would've been Tolkien! Lord of the Rings. Gandalf. Elf magic. That happened before Star Wars." It was a little known fact that she loved Lord of the Rings. She may or may not have had a crush on several cast members in the movies.

"High Fantasy as a genre can be traced back to Lord of the Rings. And I think Sci-Fi is probably related..." She wasn't sure if either thing was true, but Mai tried to put on an air of confidence. Then she remembered the Ent Wives, a subplot that always depressed her. Poor Treebeard.

 "I bet the Ent Wives are in the Shire. The fruit trees. Or bushes. Also." She gave Adon a defiant look, as if it was HIS fault that Peter Jackson made this choice-- "The battle of the Shire! WHY did they cut that out?!" She threw her hands up into the air, "So unjust."

"Muggleborns exist!... I mean..."

God she was adorable when she tried.  But this was going to be too easy. Adon laughed outright at her unbridled, enthusiastic observation.  Somewhere, in the midst of her careening, chug-chug-chugging train-of-thought, Adon managed to feign a sort of childlike wonder, whispering breathlessly: "Muggleborns do exist!" 

And the Mai Train-of-Thought chugged onwards and upwards.  Muggles!... Imagination!...  Lord of the Rings!... Wait. Wait, wait--wait!  Adon wanted to address that Muggle imagination bit!  But she'd flown past it, now honing in on Lord of the Rings. Or... fruit trees... What the hell? He wasn't even touching that one.

Lord of the Rings was bad enough.  That was Dree's type of elftastic shit.  Aragorn was okay, but honestly: he was no James Bond. 

"Okaaaay," he said, pulling away and shifting himself to look directly at her.  His arms folded across his chest stubbornly, trying to bring this to a careening halt.  This was serious.  No cuddling.  "Fine. Moloch.  We'll go there, if you insist. Lord of the Rings.  Say that's the origin of Muggles writing about fantasy." He frowned, jaw jutting stubbornly.  "Which it isn't by the way.  But I'm still right, even if it were!  It still all comes down to Israeli mages which, as you may recall was my point." With a firmness, Adon reiterated his opening thesis statement, stabbing each syllable. "Israeli mages have had more impact on Muggle culture than any other group." Fine. They'd started just by talking about Star Wars, but Adon felt elevated by reason.  It was time for loftier claims. 

He leaned back more comfortably into the couch. "C'mon. Think about it.  Who's the main mage in Lord of the Rings, then?"  He began to pause, looking over at Mai for an answer then realized, he couldn't risk riding the Mai Train away from this station. 

He adopted his best Dree Instructing Voice.  "Gandalf, yeh?  Okay, so. Let's recap what we know about Gandalf." He began to count each point on a finger. "Grey beard. Long staff.  Robes. Leads the Fellowship--and more generally..." He faltered.  He was not proud he knew this.  A slight blush, he breezed past his next phrase under his breath, "actually sent by um... those Valar things to help the peoples of Middle Earth gain and retain their freedom."

Holding his finger up in an air of Eureka revelation, he said, already victorious: "And what is his most dazzling act of magic, this Mage of Middle Earth sent to free the people?"  He was getting caught up in his own enthusiasm,  now.  If only he had a jury to convince; part of him still wondered if Mai was thinking about fruit trees.  "He helps his group to flee imminent danger by standing between them and the advancing enemy, using the staff and its powers to destroy the Balrog's way to his people, yelling 'You shaaaall not paaaass!'..."

He looked sidelong at Mai, genuinely concerned. "Please tell me you see the similarities with another Israeli mage, here..."[1]

1.

Hint

"Muggleborns do exist!"  His teasing registered far later than it should've, too late for her to give him an appropriately defiant stare. But then he pulled away from the cuddling. Oh hell no. She had JUST gotten settled. How dare Adon disrupt her comfort? Shithead. Brilliant and wonderful, yes. But still a shithead. Mai was still going to listen to him, though. He made good points, and he had patiently persevered through her nearly-nonsensical rambling. She didn't even show off her own abs in the process. In comparison, she was practically inconsiderate!

At the thought, she stifled a smile as she focused on Adon's argument.

"His name is--" Nope. Apparently it was a rhetorical question. Gandalf.

"Grey beard, long staff, looks like MERLIN. And Dumbledore!" Mai pointed out. Why this terrible choice in fashion was popular with old wizards, Mai had no idea. 

Wait. Valar? Adon knew more about Lord of the Rings than he let on. He was holding out on her! She couldn't stifle a smile this time, crossing her arms over her chest.  Ridiculous. He was absolutely ridiculous. And determined to win this debate. Determined to be right. "Are you talking about Moses? Becaase that does sound a lot like Moses. But I think Jesus fits more." Yes, he was talking about Moses. Moving on. Tolkien was Catholic, wasn't he? Catholics were really into Jesus, weren't they? Or were they into his mother?

"What does Lord of the Rings have? Walking. Wandering. With a specified number of people. He gives people sage advice, dies, and then comes back!" She couldn't help it, she was full-on grinning now. "Gandalf is a maiar. But he has a human body. He was sent by Eru as an earthly incarnation, so he is an avatar."

Was he still listening? Who knows. She was going to keep going on anyway. "He is physically, human. If you poison him, he will die of poison. If you stab him, he will be murdered to death. Just like Jesus. If you kick the shit out of him for an entire afternoon and nail him to a tree, he will die." Mai paused for dramatic effect.

 "Murdered to death." She had to say it again, just in case the first time wasn't clear enough.

"They both sacrifice themselves. It's not just that they were killed, they sacrificed. They also both face temptation, because Jesus is offered food by Satan when he's fasting. Gandalf is offered the ring by Frodo."  Then it dawned on her. Jesus was also Jewish. Shit. So whether or not it was Moses or Jesus, Adon's argument still stood strong. Her smile faltered, she let out a small laugh.

"You," Maiko concluded, "Are the worst."

Adon smirked at her, considering her argument.  It had a familiar ring... even reiterated in a language that was so wholly Mai. "If you stab him, he will be murdered to death. Just like Jesus. If you kick the shit out of him for an entire afternoon and nail him to a tree, he will die."

"--Do we not bleed?" Adon cut in with energy, his accent a theatrical, crisp British befitting a performance at the Globe.[1]   "If you tickle us do we not laugh?"  His eyes widened and Adon sat bolt-upright, preemptively catching the suggestion. He scrabbled back as far as he could on the couch, now on the opposite end, foot lifted as a defense to ward off any potential attacks. "And if you wrong us...." he further quoted, tone dark as he jabbed a threatening finger in her direction: "...Shall we not revenge?"

Adon sniffed, shifting his shoulders so that they draped over the arm of the sofa.  "Of course he dies. He's a Jew and a Jew's a human, like anyone else.  But more notably--and I feel the need to remind people of this from time to time--Jesus was a Jew.  So Jesus or Moses--still Israeli mage. Still influential--more than any other culture.  From the First to the Last, Alpha and Omega, we run this town." And Jesus and Moses are more influential than Luke Skywalker and Gandalf. From the beginning of time to at least 2005's Return of the King, they reigned supreme in pop culture, religion... everything.

"But," Adon said, tone hesitant.  "Back to you. And your fixation on Jesus." He gave her a shifty glance.  "So I guess by this logic, Harry Potter's Jesus now, too, then" Which, speaking of..." Adon polished his nails on his chest a moment before inspecting them,, "you know, a case has been made that... I'm kind of a Harry Potter." It was a case he and Jonas had made several times over. "Scar, Auror, hair," he mussed his a little bit for demonstration, "red-headed bestie, fated/doomed/or whatever, cheated death on more than one occasion, once pretty literally... So if Harry's Jesus and I'm Harry..."

Adon shrugged.  "All I'm saying is that a case could be made that I am a demi-god."

This was more fun to argue.  But not the point.

"But really," he said, shifting again, "the thing you need to remember: Israeli Mages.  We run this place."

1.

The author notes this to be a favorite hyperbolic excerpt for Adon, this being the fourth time he's quoted it on board. I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with  the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means,  warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us,  do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. (Mechant of Venice. III.i.49–61)

Frankly, she had no idea what Adon was going on about in that accent.

His foot in the air was a deterrent from tickling... For now. "You're too far away!" She complained, with absolutely no malicious or mischievous intent whatsoever. Okay, that was a lie... Maybe there was a little bit of mischievous intent. But it probably came from a good place.

Oh. Ooooh! Shakespeare. He was quoting Shakespeare! Referencing it, or something. She didn't enjoy Shakespeare. Mai felt like if he was alive today, he would probably be drawing dicks on bathroom walls and making "your mom" jokes. Like a more juvenile and less nuanced Connor Todd. She was going to make some sort of comment about how she didn't know Shakespeare all that well, but Adon kept going. And going. And going. His ability to ramble and jump from one topic to the next with a tenuous connection rivaled even hers.

Frankly, it was impressive.

Then, oh oh, THEN he mentioned Harry Potter.

At the very mention of him, Mai let out a loud groan.

"NOOooOoo." She protest-laughed, "You didn't go to school with Harry."  She put on a Dumbledore voice, though her accent still overpowered his. "Fifty points to Gryffindor, because you're young and my favorite and I want to feel alive again!" Her tone shifted back into her own, her expression more amused than genuinely irritated,  "He got away with everything. Seeker as a first year.  He cheated to get into the Triwizard tournament. I heard he once petrified a cat.I'm not bitter." Her shoulders relaxed and she leaned back into the couch cushions ounce more.  "To be clear, I don't actually hate Harry Potter. Going to school at the same time as him wasn't great."

"Also, you're better than Harry Potter. Better scar. Better hair. Full of yourself, but you usually deserve it." Mai teased, before finally focusing back on Adon's actual point.

"So, sci-fi and fantasy can be traced back to Israeli mages being significant and amazing." She paused, pretending to hesitate. "Alright. I can accept that." Mai narrowed her eyes at him. "You win, this time."

Rated M for references to sexual content.

Oh, oh. So Maiko didn't hate the Savior of the World and his fellow comrade-in-arms! Kind of her to clarify. Sure sounded like it, though.  He folded his arms across his chest, regarding her with a satisfied smirk.

"Also, you're better than Harry Potter. Better scar. Better hair. Full of yourself, but you usually deserve it. You win."

Adon's laugh rumbled deep in his throat at this.  Taking her by the ankles, he pulled her towards him, so that she was now flat on her back.  Well, she'd said he was too far away.  Still smirking, he crawled his way over to her on the sofa until he hovered just above her, trapping her between his arms.   "Hm, 'you win.' My two favorite words," he purred. His lips met hers, softly at first, coy and gentle.  A hand roamed down her thigh, cursing her love of yoga pants; he wanted the feel of her skin. He cupped her, pulling her into him.  A need burned in the pit of his stomach.  The kiss deepened, growing hungry; Adon began to feel her respond and arch underneath him.  He moaned his approval against her lips, fingers now brushing along the skin of her neck, the length of her collarbone.  He kissed beneath her jaw, feeling for the pulse beating there. He shifted slightly; the sofa teetered.

Moloch. This was nearly as bad as the bar stools.  They shouldn't be doing this on the couch.  Admittedly, they probably shouldn't be doing this at all. Not until they knew what was even happening--

Fuckfuckfuck.  This could not be happening.  He was fucking cockblocking himself.  And it wasn't the first time.[1]  It wasn't even the fourth or fifth time. But still. Now?!

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. He was the worst.

Adon came to a halt, prying his lips away from hers. Better get this over with. His breathing still heavy before finally blurting out, "K-so, d'y'want to be my girlfriend or what?"

1.	This oldie but goodie.

What was the nice word for being full of yourself? Prideful? No.

Oh, right. Self-confident. She'd always appreciated that in people, and it was a quality she had found attractive in previous relationships.

Mai wrapped her arms around his neck, eagerly returning the kisses and not thinking about any sort of consequences or how it'd affect her later. She'd gotten good at that, not just around Adon either. The difference here was that she liked him in that intimidating way that she hadn't with other casual relationships or one night stands. That was a problem for the future, and she valued living in the now, when she could. she was all goosebumps and warmth, and then the weight shifted and for a moment, Mai was convinced they would fall over. Inhaling sharply, she braced herself-- and then nothing.

She let out a small, relieved laugh and moved to brush her lips against his jaw when--

Putain! He needed new furniture. At least she kept the groaning internal.

"Quoi!?" Mai replied reflexively. No. She heard what he said. For a brief, brief moment, she panicked, sitting up and putting her weight on her hands. Clearly, Adon was incapable of doing much past making out without figuring out what it meant first. He wasn't content with waiting. Did she really want to sit in a weird relationship limbo? She wasn't flirting with anybody else, she certainly wasn't interested in anyone else. Mai also wasn't certain she wanted casual. It was... Well. It usually left her feeling worse than if she had done nothing at all. Not that Mai always regretted it, but... she also didn't want to regret him.

For a brief moment, she wondered if she could buy time by distracting him with a kiss. She decided against it.

"..." Don't make this weird, Mai. Yes or no question. It was simple. "Yeee----ees? Yes. Uh, do you want me to be your girlfriend? Because if you want to, and I want to..." Nailed it.

"Yeee----ees?

Fuck.  Adon's stomach churned. That was a distinctly lackluster response. Now, Adon didn't exactly expect her to leap up, clap her hands, and exclaim "That is the desire of my heart!" but perhaps something less... halting. Or forced? This was a big deal. It wasn't just some sort of--

Ah, hell. What did that even matter. Adon wanted a lot of things right now, and talking about feelings wasn't going to get any of that.  Simple matter: did he want her to be his girlfriend?

"Yep," Adon quipped. That out of the way, Adon smirked, rising and taking her by the hand. He winked as he bowed down to kiss it, lips brushing against knuckles.  Without much further ado, Adon slung her over his shoulder. "To the bed!" he announced, a triumphant, dramatic point to the loft.