M for Content

“Well you made a kid’s party a lot more interesting.” The Norwegian language slipped from his tongue far easier than English as he rolled over onto his side, head propped up thanks to his elbow. The grin was sleepy but alert enough to remember what had happened the night before and what he hoped would happen before she left this morning. She was a pretty woman. He couldn’t deny her a bit of fun.

The night before Alec had decided to be the friendly boss; the open, willing sort to show up at a teenager’s birthday despite thinking said teenager was a moron. He’d only spent one day on Level 4 and already he knew who he would sack first if given the chance. The evening gathering had been full of youths along with several colleagues. Alec had managed 2 hours of small talk before the naked witch beside him in the bed had saved him from death by teenager.

Most other nights, they’d gone back to her place (not that it was a thing). Last night, through happenings Alec couldn’t clearly remember, they’d ended up in his parents’ house in his old bedroom. His parents wouldn’t say anything. Jacob hadn’t ever approved of his wife and Claire was too timid to say a word. Alec had a pretty decent set up.

She was barely waking when Alec slipped his hand under the duvet, wrapping around her waist as he leaned in to press his lips against hers.

“Mm!” Rough lips and stubble, whiskey and cigarettes. If Lix was honest, that could have been tens of past bedmates pressing up against her, but the only one lately who spoke to her in Norwegian had to be the tall, dark rugged one she’d met last month, and taken home more than once. Healing training was going well, and Lix had started finding a night to go out and blow off steam and stress from studying once in a fortnight. And when she did that, it was all too easy to lapse into lifelong habits. Especially when this one spoke the language of her schooldays.

She stirred, lips curling into a sleepy smile, rolling into the kiss, allowing his hand on her waist to draw them together, returning lazy morning kisses. He long black curls spread out across the pillow behind her in her wake, the duvet slipping from her shoulders as her hand found its home back with him.
“Good morning,” she spoke softly, blinking slowly as she came round. “I had a wonderful dream,” she added, “that a king took me back to his castle…” Lix laughed, her hand making its way down Alec’s back to his backside. “And here I am waking up beside him.” She kissed him once more, content to linger a while, and if she felt that correctly, he was too…

Well what a way to wake up. A decade of marriage and waking up next to the same woman every morning was dull. It was years since Malin had woken up and grabbed his ass. Instead she’d grumbled that he’d snored too loudly or taken the duvet in the night. Lix compared him to a king and he was more than okay with that. He was so okay with it that after her next kiss, he hauled her up onto his lap, large rough hands grabbing her hips.

“Then I guess you have to thank the king.” The wizard smirked, dark eyes surveying his prize greedily.

In the distance Alec could hear noises, life elsewhere in the house. He’d told the witch nothing of his living situation. He’d barely told her anything about him at all. So in an effort to mask the noise, her pulled her down further on him, kissing her with more passion than before as his hands found her rump.

“Alexander!” The voice came as the door opened. The pinned down wizard nearly jumped out of his skin, throwing Elixa off him and onto the floor in the process. Out of his lips came an unrepeatable expletive and his gaze fell on the 88-year-old man now stood frozen in the doorway in his dressing gown, eyes the size of toadstools and mouth wide open in shock.

“Forgotten people still did that, Pa?” He couldn’t resist. Jacob’s face was a picture. But Elixa was on the floor stark naked and Jacob wouldn’t stop staring.

“Shit.” A roll of his eyes along with a grumble and Alec hurled the duvet off himself to land on his lady friend.

“Who’s your…” Jacob frowned, barely able to see to the other side of the bed where the dark haired witch was hiding. “friend?”

Lix snickered as Alec scooped her up and she clambered onto his lap. Oh she’d definitely been right. She shifted herself against it and licked her lips, catching the bottom one between her teeth as she decided where to begin on Alec’s morning. The cooler morning air above the duvet prickled her naked skin, and her dark hair tickled her back above his hands.

“Then I guess you have to thank the king.”
“Will I?” She grinned, planting her hands on his shoulders. She’d been about to lean forward and kiss him anyway, but Alec pulled her down, grabbed her arse and kissed her fervently.
“Someone’s eager-"
“Alexander!”

Lix’s eyes were wide at he interruption. Who the hell was that? How had they got in? Alec folded in on himself, throwing Lix from the bed like a horse might drop its shoulder. She tumbled off the edge of the bed and rolled. Her arse no longer being groped by big worn hands, but chilled by the floor instead. She looked around quickly for something to grab to cover her modesty, only glad the door was on the other side of the bed.

Alec’s trousers from the night before were the only thing near enough she could grab. Her wand was the other side of the bed on the table. She folded her legs up and clutched the backside of them to her chest, drawing close to the bed to further hide. Her dark eyes peered up and over the edge past Alec’s bare legs at the intruder. There was an old bloke staring at her. Older than Alec, old!

Didn’t… didn’t she know him?!

“Forgotten people still did that, Pa?”

OH MERLIN NO. SHE DID. WHY WAS HE STARING AT HER STILL?

The duvet unceremoniously went over Lix’s head and she scrambled to wrap it round her. In truth, Lix would have preferred to have died underneath that duvet at that exact moment, considering who that was staring at her naked body after walking in on her about to ride his son. Emerging from beneath the duvet, Elixa looked red-faced, dishevelled and decidedly not turned on.

“Who’s your… friend?”

“No-one.” Lix replied to Carter firmly, still just a pair of eyes to the octogenarian. “Definitely not anyone you know. Or will know.” Then in a lower voice to Alec, accompanied by a thump to his thigh with her fist, “you didn’t tell me you lived with your fucking parents.”

Manhood and practically everything now exposed to the wizard who’d brought him up, Alec grabbed a pillow as soon as he relinquished the duvet, holding it on his lap. It covered what he needed it to but he was still pretty damned vulnerable and momentarily taken back several decades to his teenage years before moving out. He’d been caught back then, too. Apparently much hadn’t changed in 32 years and it was still horrendously awkward when your father walked in and caught you about to get busy. At least this time the witch wasn’t acne ridden and wearing a chudley canons bra.

His father was still staring at Elixa, seemingly frozen in time. Elixa’s reaction was odd. Well, she’d just been thrown from his lap when his father walked in. She’d been seen in all her glory (and wasn’t it glorious) by an 88 year old man and now she was on the floor covered in a duvet, old bloke still staring, mouth agape. But that reaction was still bloody weird.

To insist he didn’t and would never know her? Alec barely had a moment to process when she thumped his thigh, swearing at him about living with his parents.
It suddenly hit Alec and a wide grin appeared as she looked between last night’s lay and his elderly father.

Merlin’s balls, she knew him!
This was too funny.
No, he couldn’t laugh yet.

“It’s better than living with my wife.” The now smirking wizard muttered to the pretty girl on the floor.
“Is it!?”
 Dark eyes quickly shot back to Jacob. “Merlin’s balls, Pa! Ye want a bloody ticket to the show?”

Probably a stupid thing to say to your old man because Jacob’s expression turned dark, angry. He glowered at Alec for a moment.
“Your ma made breakfast. Get up.” With that, the wizard turned, slammed the door and retreated down the stairs. Alec would be paying for it later.

But for now, there was more immediate matters to deal with. Like Elixa still naked under the duvet on the floor. He grinned down at her, finally releasing a much needed laugh as he spoke. “He didn’t recognise you. Even if I would recognise that ass in a line up.”

The door slammed after Carter senior, and Lix let out a breath of relief. The hand she’d punched Alec in the thigh with gripped the edge of the bed and she sank against it, still wrapped in the duvet. She’d gone from waking up and considering sleepy, slow lovemaking with Alec to heart-thumping embarrassment in under a minute. She needed a moment to gather her thoughts about being gawped at by an old wizard who was both Alec’s father but also her boss’ father, and on the board of the hospital. Not that her personal life should matter, she didn’t exactly feel empowered by the fact Jacob Carter had looked at her like that. Like she was something he could look at rather than politely avert his eyes.

“He didn’t recognise you. Even if I would recognise that ass in a line up.”
“No, he thinks I’m some Knockturn whore you picked up.” Lix grumbled from the floor. “And maybe we’ll test that lineup some day.” She drew her feet beneath her and clambered up onto the bed over him, on all fours. “If you’re very good.” She clarified, and threw the duvet behind her over the bottom of the bed.

"I think daddy took more than an eyeful.” She leaned down, frowning, but kissed Alec, withdrawing just enough to add, “next time, my place or I’m barricading that door.” She rolled off him, seizing her wand from the bedside table. Kneeling on the mattress in unclothed glory, she applied the appropriate charms to the door Jacob had just slammed shut.

“Now, about breakfast…”

There really was no competition between breakfast being offered by his mother downstairs and the far more interesting breakfast being offered by the witch currently straddling him. Alec was in no position at all to deny the pretty witch his favourite type of breakfast. He simply felt rather apologetic, a mild feeling of sympathy for his parents trying to eat downstairs with a moderately vocal witch upstairs. Moderately was perhaps not a suitable word to use…

“Not bad for a whore I picked up in Knockturn Alley.” A slap on her backside later, and Alec was up out of bed, grabbing a pair of fresh boxers from a drawer. “Get dressed, we’re getting breakfast.” Before she could say a word, Alec added, “I’m buying. We’re using that exit.” He pointed to the open window before pulling on a pair of jeans and a mildly creased black shirt.

People may be forgiven for forgetting he was a 50 year old almost divorced man and a head of department at the ministry. He acted like a teenager far too often. Living with his parents didn’t help…

A quick flick of his wand at his hair and a spray of aftershave and he was ready. He stood by the window, staring expectantly at the witch.
“Unless you want to meet my mother too, let’s go.”

“Look who’s talking.” Lix retorted, rolling out of bed, heading to his bathroom as he wrestled underpants on. She splashed her face in water from the sink as he said about getting breakfast. He head snapped up, her reflection in the mirror indicating her alarm at the suggestion they have breakfast with his parents. There was no way on Solomon’s earth-
“I’m buying.”

Relief was obvious, and Lix twisted round to regard where Alec was pointing for their exit before patting dry her face. He was pulling on old clothes. He was definitely a born again teenager, Lix thought as she returned to the bedroom, relocating her own clothes from the night before. Walk of shame with breakfast, that was a nice enough gesture.

Alec was stood beside the open window expectantly in moments as she wriggled back into her dress.
“Merlin, you’re as anxious to eat as you are for me to sit on you,” she remarked, shoving her feet back into her boots. “Here zip me up.” Her wand was otherwise occupied, combing out her black hair, twisting and plaiting it as she moved the tip in an intricate fashion above her head. “Don’t tell me you get hard for food.” She teased him before sticking her head out the window. “Merlin on a broom.” Lix complained. “I haven’t apparated off a drainpipe in a while.”

Still, it was better than facing the Carters over breakfast given her enthusiastic performance in their son’s bed. Alec could be a bit of a chauvinist idiot. No, modify that, could be a lot of a chauvinist bastard, but his interests in her, and her in him were aligned. This was just casual, a good time. Neither of them wanted to secure the other into something more substantial. They had a good time out, they had a good time in bed, they took the piss out of each other. It was more like a friendship with benefits. Lix had quite a few of those, and Alec happened to be this month’s go-to.

“So when are you buying me dinner?” Lix joked, as they queued to make an order at a nearby Muggle greasy spoon. She felt considerably overdressed but judging by the faces of the other customers they were in the right place to cure a hangover.

Having such a disturbance that morning had been problematic, of course. Fortunately Elixa had been able to see past the mild disaster and move on. They’d made it to the cheap muggle café and were politely queueing (a strange custom) with the other muggles in the establishment. It was once again going swimmingly until his bed buddy mentioned dinner and Alec’s dark eyes shot down to hers immediately. She was joking, she had to be. Dinner meant something more. Neither of them appeared to want something more. After having just come out of a ten-year long marriage, Alec was in no rush to have something more with any witch.

“Funny.” The wizard decided to go with, smirking as he leaned against the counter. “Most women fall into one of three categories. Too ugly to sleep with, ones I want to buy breakfast for, and ones I want to buy dinner for.” He folded his arms comfortably over his chest, raising his eyebrows. Elixa could figure that one out.

Behind them, a couple of older women began tutting like a pair of disapproving hags. Alec rolled his eyes, moving further up the queue with the woman he wanted to buy breakfast for.

“Just three?” Lix replied, impressed he could narrow it down so far. The ladies tutting at him made her laugh gently. She folded her arms too, mirroring Alec, but not leaning on the counter. She had been about to ask who the last person Alec bought dinner for was, and then realised it might be his ex-wife and that would stun the conversation into perhaps not hooking up again for months.

“So last night, you were out for someone’s birthday? You did say, or maybe you didn’t, I was too busy with you.” They moved along in the queue and the women behind them were giving her looks now, not helped by the fact she was still dressed for a night out. “But you’re the boss now, I heard. Good for you, getting straight into Department life in the bottom of a pint glass.” She reached out to squeeze Alex’s upper arms with both hands, grinning, and closed the distance between them as if she might kiss him.

“Can I help yer?” The interruption came from behind Alec’s shoulder in the form of a woman who looked like she’d worked here all her life.
“Full English, please,” Lix requested, up on tiptoes to look round one of the sexiest men in wizarding London. “Kind of worked up an appetite.” She explained to Alec, and smiled sweetly at the Muggle women behind them in the queue.

This was just too perfect. Not only was Alec content to piss off the stuck up muggle women in the queue behind them, but Elixa had seemingly made it her mission. It wasn’t the mission that Alec appreciated; it was the process of her coming in even closer to him in that outfit that he’d enjoyed removing from her the night before.

“You worked up more than an appetite.” Alec smirked, putting a hand on the pretty witch’s waist. He turned his head slightly, requesting a full breakfast with extra toast, sausage and a hash brown. Alec ate a lot. He’d always eaten a lot.

After muddling through some muggle coins in his wallet, the couple manoeuvred to a table with mugs of tea and coffee respectively. Alec placed the wooden spoon with the number 13 on it in a jar on the table and sat himself down.

“Last night was the birthday of the now 18-year-old squib assistant of my Head of Beings.” His tone was dry as he explained, evidently not enamoured with the now 18-year-old squib assistant of his Head of Beings. “She is loud, nosy and unprofessional. A teenager’s birthday party is not my idea of a good night out. Your presence saved me from sharing my opinion on the festivities.” Now Alec was smirking as he opened a sachet of sugar and tipped it into his drink, taking up a spoon to stir.

Lix stretched her little legs out once sat down, and gathered her hair out of the way, teasing knots with her fingers as she listened.
“Ew,” the healer in training remarked. She couldn’t remember who the Head of Beings was. It was one of those bits of information she was sure she had known, but her mind had discarded it in the junk pile in favour of more interesting things.

“I admire you for your commitment to the Department though. Most bosses wouldn’t go to their very junior, junior’s birthday party.” She reached over and scruffed up Alec’s hair, displeased at the way it was spiked. “Better.” She said decisively and reached for her mug.

“They’re good fun to drink with,” she continued, “your new lot. My cousin’s dating Balfour Spectre, don’t let him give you any shit.” She raised a dark eyebrow. “Either of them.”



End